Working Girl
by kissdagrl
Summary: AU-Jane has suffered the loss of her family five years ago, she turns to lowly measures as a high class call girl to support her infant child while being plagued with regrets and pain. What happens when she meets her first John, the beautiful Maura Isles? Will her life change forever, or will her darkness drag her down? Much angst along the way, but there is a happy ending.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N **

**So this one is going to be heavy at times, so if darkness isn't your thing this isn't for you. It's very AU and OOC! I can promise that a beautiful Rizzles love story will evolve out of all of this eventually. The rating will change in later chapters, but don't expect the sexy stuff to soon cause it ain't gonna happen right off the bat. I do enjoy comments however so...let me know what you think. It's up to you whether or not I keep writing this story. If there's no interest I won't bother with it. That being said...here we go.**

**Jane**

The seven and seven the bar tender served me was strong. I winced, scrunching up my face as the burn of alcohol sizzled down my throat. I had a feeling the bartender had poured a bit more alcohol into my drink than he would have any normal customer. I inhaled deeply and let out a long exasperated sigh as the rush of pleasant warmth of an alcohol buzz washed over me. I needed this drink, and probably another one after it. My nerves were on edge like they never had been before. This was my first time, my first..."date" as Carmelite liked to call it. I sighed heavily again taking another impossibly strong burning gulp of my drink. I tried not to think about what I was about to do, I tried not to think about what would happen to me if anyone found out about my...'date'. I willed myself to think of other things, more pleasant things, anything to keep my mind off what I was really doing here.

I thought of Angela , my sweet little one year old probably sleeping right now in my tiny little apartment with the babysitter. I sighed again, downing more of my drink. It didn't burn so badly this time. I welcomed the flush the alcohol gave me. It made me feel calm, calm and confident. Confidence was everything in my...in my line of work. I looked down at my dress, it was simple, nothing to over the top. I didn't want to stand out to much, I couldn't afford to be labeled for exactly what I was. The dress cost me fifteen dollars at the local Good Will. I didn't have money for anything nicer. I imagined the dress was pretty enough, it was all black with thin shoulder straps. It hugged my body like a glove and stopped just above my knees. I'd managed to scrounge up some change for a decent enough pair of black high heels from Pay Less. I'd spent my last dime on the red lipstick I was wearing to compliment my other makeup. I was wearing a lot of make up. I didn't normally wear much make up at all if any, but I didn't want to look in the mirror and see the real me, I wanted to see something else. I guess I _was_ something else now, or was I just pretending? I didn't know, I didn't really want to think about it. I smoothed the wrinkles from my dress nervously with my hands. I didn't have an iron at home, I couldn't afford such luxuries as that. I thought about my baby girl again. I fought down the lump in the back of my throat and swallowed another long sip of my drink. I had no choice, I was committed to this thing...to this...'job'. I had no money to pay my baby sitter and no money to feed my child. I thought about the three lonely diapers I had left at home and the half container of baby wipes. I didn't even have any baby powder or soap or laundry detergent. I batted back tears thinking about how I'd had to reduce myself to washing my baby with dish soap last night because I'd spent my last dimes on this outfit I was wearing.

I closed my eyes tightly, I could not afford to cry, not now...not now! I had a 'date', and that was the only way myself and my baby were going to eat. Thank God my...'date' had set up an open tab for me at the bar, I really needed the drink...and probably the next three drinks after this one. Carmelite said it was common practice for the higher quality clients to set up open tabs for their...well...for their whore's. I might as well admit it...that is what I was after all. A whore. I looked around the bar in the beautiful hotel dinning room. I'd never seen anything so opulent or decadent in my life. Everyone was finely dressed, even the bar staff and the waiters. Everything spoke of extravagance and expense. This was not a place I could ever have afforded to frequent, not in my wildest dreams. Even the bar menu was half in english and half in French or something like that. Most of the drinks on the drink menu I'd never even heard of before. There were even three pages of nothing but wine, some of the bottles were over a thousand dollars. I'd felt so small looking at the menu when the waiter handed it to me. His name was Gregory, a nice enough fairly handsome but obviously gay man. Carmelite told me to only speak to him...he knew why I was here and knew it was my first time. His knowledge made me uncomfortable at first, but he was sweet and offered me a kind reassuring smile. I saw no judgement behind his crystal blue eyes, I did see something like sympathy though. That only made me feel worse.

"_How about a good old-fashioned seven and seven?"_ Gregory had asked me. He must have sensed I was bewildered by the drink menu.

I accepted his offer graciously, happy to be able to do away with that awful wine list. I didn't know how much was too much to charge to my...date...and I didn't want to seem over zealous or greedy. This had to go well or I'd never be asked to work again. Gregory had offered me a food menu, but I'd refused. I couldn't stomach eating, not right before...well...right before my 'date'.

I took another long sip of my drink finishing it off. I was floored by how quickly I'd put down such a strong drink. I couldn't blame myself, I'd never been so nervous in my life. Carmelite had a two drink maximum rule before meeting with a 'client'! I wanted more than two, I needed more than two, but I'd follow the rules. This had to go well, my baby was depending on me. I ordered another drink when Gregory approached me again, he nodded kindly and moved swiftly to feed me more alcohol. I wondered how many other women had sat in this very bar stool contemplating doing exactly what I was about to do. Did every girl get as nervous as me? Did every girl drink as much as me? Was every girl the same disaster I was?

I thanked Gregory graciously when he set my drink in front of me. It was stronger even than the last one. I sighed again resting my elbows on the beautiful dark wood counter and wrapped my hands around the cool glass of my drink. I wasn't wearing a watch, but I knew I'd been at the bar at least thirty-five minutes. I had a very accurate internal clock, probably from my years of police training. I chuckled to myself remembering the woman I was so long ago. A cop...a fucking cop! I smiled at the irony that I'd gone from upholding the law and now...now I was a whore. I didn't think about all the details in the middle, I didn't have the strength to depress myself or God forbid cry. I still had a...a 'date'.

Carmelite said my client was a frequent one, apparently one of the best. I guess all her girls wanted to be this clients regular...but Carmelite had given them to me tonight, and on my first night at that. I'd protest vehemently, pleading that I wasn't experienced enough to please a regular, that it would be too much pressure. I begged Carmelite to assign another girl more suited to the task, I didn't want to be the reason one of the best clients walked away from the agency after years of faithful patronage. Carmalita hadn't been interested in any of my desperate pleas however. She just shushed me and very sternly demanded that I pull myself together and find something pretty to wear. I complied, what else was I supposed to do? I needed the money so badly.

I thought about my baby again. I thought about the first time I held her in my arms and the tears that streamed down my face looking at her beautiful little body curled in my arms. I thought about how I knew I'd never...ever love another person in my entire life as much as I loved that little girl. I thought about how much she looked like my mother. I fought back tears again. I missed my mother, I missed her so much. I missed my brothers too, but they were all gone...they had been gone a long time now. It was just me...just me and my baby girl. I took another long sip of my drink. At least my mother wasn't around to witness my shame, at least she didn't have to see me fall apart like I did. At least my family didn't live long enough to see me humiliate myself like I was about to do...at least...at least...at least.

I looked around the bar again. My...'date' was late. They should have been there fifteen minutes ago. I sat up straight and tried to appear casual and unconcerned pushing thoughts of my many losses and failures to the back of my mind. I remembered what Carmelite said to me, something about clients sometimes scoping out their dates from a distance, trying to get a feel for them and if they were what they really wanted. I felt nervous all of a sudden. Could I actually have been watched at that very moment? Was someone in this hotel bar checking me out, studying me, imagining all the things they wanted me to do to them...or them do to me? Did I please them? Were they still interested? Had they taken one look at my cheap dress and shoes and turned around and walked away? Was I going to be left sitting here...alone...not good enough even to spread my legs for a 'John' I didn't even know. My heart began to race, I was terrified. What if all that I was thinking was true? What if I left here with nothing? How would I feed my baby? How would I buy diapers? How would I even feed myself? I took another sip of my drink. I felt so lonely and worthless sitting at the crowed bar in one of the most upscale hotels in all of New York. How could it all have come to this? I didn't have time to dwell on my unpleasant thoughts, I was interrupted by a soft melodious voice.

"Excuse me Miss, is this seat taken?" I turned in my stool to find a very beautiful woman standing next to me.

I was floored for a moment, the woman was breathtaking and immaculate. She wore a white very expensive looking cocktail dress and tall white designer heels. The clutch in her hand looked like the softest of leather, most likely made by some high-end designer. She was youngish looking though still several years older than me...maybe somewhere around thirty-five. She had beautiful dark blond hair pulled back in a classy looking up doo and just enough makeup to compliment the hazel of her stunning eyes. She looked extremely wealthy from the casual poise of her stance and must have been extremely educated by the fluidity of her tone and careful pronunciation of her words. I felt instantly twice as out of place by comparison to this woman. It was she who belonged here, she and not I.

"Ummmm...yeah go ahead." I said motioning toward the empty seat next to me.

The woman smiled and slid easily into the chair crossing her legs and leaning back comfortably. I made no more attempts to speak with her, she made me very uncomfortable. I must have looked like the nothing I was sitting next to that woman. I was even more uncomfortable when I noticed her studying me from the corner of my eye. I took a sip of my drink to steady my nerves.

"Are you here with someone?" The lady asked me politely.

I didn't want to be rude, but I also didn't really want to talk to her. I didn't need any distractions...I had to focus on my...on my 'work'. My date was twenty minutes late now...God I wished they would just hurry up so I could get this over with.

"Ummm..umm no...not yet!" I said staring down at my hands clasping my drink glass. The woman didn't speak for a few more moments, but she never stopped studying me. I began squirming uncomfortably in my seat.

"That's interesting." The woman said.

I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah why is that?" I asked a little bit more snappy and accusing that I had intended. I noticed the woman smile pleasantly from the corner of my eye.

"I imagine a woman as beautiful as you would have a date on a Saturday evening." she said.

I looked over at her incredulously. Was she trying to be funny or something because if she was...she wasn't doing a very good job. Why did she care anyway what I was doing in the bar. Did I really look that out of place?

"Please!" I said rolling my eyes again.

"Have I said something to offend you? If so that certainly wasn't my intention, I only meant to compliment...not offend." The woman stated matter of factly.

I looked over at her again, studying her myself this time. She really was very beautiful. I took in every bit of her feeling a pang of jealousy in my chest. I bet she had a great job or a super rich husband that gave her everything she wanted...or perhaps even both. I had nothing and no one to speak of. I wasn't even worthy of being in such esteemed company. Not only because I was here to meet a client...but because I hadn't even a decent conversation to offer this woman. What could we possibly have in common to talk about?

"No...I'm not offended. I'm...I'm meeting someone later. Or at least I was supposed to. I don't know if they're going to show up!" I said lowering my eyes and turning back to my drink.

I was sad suddenly all over again. I thought of my baby. I didn't even have to money to catch a cab home let alone the money to care for my child. It was getting later and later and my 'date' still hadn't arrived. This was quickly turning into the worst night of my life. I'd come here to sell my body...only to discover my body apparently wasn't worth a dime. My John must have seen me and ran for the hills, I worked hard to keep the tears burning behind my eyes from falling.

"I hardly imagine you being stood up. It would be a very great fool to leave you sitting alone at a bar on a Saturday night." The woman said pleasantly.

I noticed she still hadn't taken her eyes off me. What the hell was this ladies freaking deal?

"What makes you say that?" I asked trying not to roll my eyes.

The woman was starting to irritate me with all her off handed compliments. I couldn't help but think she thought I was some kind of charity case and was trying to get in her good deed for the month by attempting to cheer me up.

The woman only smiled.

"I'm Maura...Maura Isles," The woman said holding out her hand for me to shake.

I looked at her in confusion. So now we were making introductions? I didn't know rich people were so friendly to the lower classes. I hesitated for a moment, not really knowing what to do. But I couldn't be rude right? What if my John was watching.

"I'm...I'm Emily." I lied shaking the woman's hand briefly before pulling away. The woman had a surprisingly strong grip.

"Emily...that's a lovely name." Maura said kindly.

I sighed again sipping my drink heavily.

"Yeah thanks," I said offhandedly. I suddenly felt bad about my poor manners "Ummm. Maura is a pretty name too!" I added hoping I sounded sincere.

"Thank you!" Maura said graciously as if I'd given her the greatest compliment ever.

Gregory showed up then. I was more than grateful to see him. I needed the distraction from the pressure of having to converse with the overly chatty debutante.

"What can I get for the ladies?" Gregory asked smiling between the two of us. His blue eyes sparkled in the dim light of the bar.

"Oh...I shouldn't have anymore." I said looking longingly at my half empty glass.

"Oh...nonsense! It's the weekend you should enjoy yourself!" Maura said brightly next to me.

I frowned a little, "No...I can't! I don't want to be to drunk to...I just can't." I said shaking my head.

"What are you drinking?" Maura asked placing her well manicured hand lightly on my arm.

I shuddered a little under her touch. I caught a whiff of her scent...she smelled sweet, like fruit or something. The smell of her filled my nose and made my head swim with pleasant thoughts of better days, or perhaps that was the alcohol already in my system.

"Ummm...it's a seven and seven." I stated casually.

"Two seven and sevens please sir, on my tab," Maura said to Gregory.

She was polite, very polite to be such a polished flawless lady.

"Maura I really can't have another..." I started to protest

"...please let me buy you a drink. You seem particularly unhappy this evening and it makes me a little sad." Maura said placing her soft gentle hand on my arm again.

Gosh what was this woman's deal for real?

I rolled my eyes again outright, not even trying to hide it.

"Do I really look that bad?" I scoffed.

Maura seemed taken aback a bit by my biting tone.

"No! I told you already you're...you're gorgeous!" Maura said softly pulling her hand away from me.

The skin tingled on my arm where her hand had been.

"Why do you care about me? Why are you talking to me and not someone else more your...your type. Where is _your _date?" I asked looking the woman in the eyes with an accusing frown on my face.

I was tired of answering all the questions. If this woman wanted to talk so bad, she was going to have to talk about something other than me and how sad I freaking looked.

Maura only smiled. She didn't seem the least bit put off by my accusing questions.

"I care about you because you caught my eye, I'm talking to you and not...someone else, because you seem like the most interesting person in the room, and I don't have a date tonight because I'm here on business. I actually live in Boston." Maura said with a gracious smile.

She seemed almost pleased that I had asked about her.

"Boston?" I asked cocking my head to the side as I studied her a little bit myself.

Maura's face lit up.

"Yes...have you ever been there?" she asked leaning in to hear my answer.

I smiled a little despite myself.

"Actually...actually I was born and raised in Boston!" I said, then I felt my face fall. "That was a long time ago though, I haven't been there in years." I said sadly

"Oh, that's sad. Do you still have family there?" Maura asked me.

She seemed very interested in my story for some reason. I don't know why, I couldn't explain it...but I felt myself opening up to the woman. Maybe it was all the alcohol or maybe I just felt comfortable with her. Either way...words came pouring out of my mouth.

"Ummm, actually...actually I lost my family to a drunk driver five years ago." I said lowering my eyes to my glass again and finishing off its contents in several great gulps.

"Oh my goodness, that's horrible!" Maura said placing her hand on my arm again.

I liked the feeling of her soft skin on mine. I usually hated being touched, physical contact always made me uncomfortable, but there was just something about this woman.

"Yeah its...its cool though...I'm over it!" I lied sighing gratefully when Gregory returned with our drinks.

"Would you ladies like a food menu?" He asked.

"Oh no...I still can't eat, my date might show up and..."

"... Gregory would you mind sending a waiter to my usual table on the balcony? Emily and I will finish our drinks there and place our dinner orders." Maura interrupted me again.

I looked at the woman in stunned disbelief. She sure did have a lot of nerve!

"I can't leave the bar...I'm waiting for someone!" I exclaimed.

I imagined I'd been waiting an hour now already though. I felt my eyes burn and my heart drop when the realization that my date was most likely not coming hit me. What the hell was I going to do?

"You've waited long enough. If your date can't show up on time they don't _deserve_ your time," Maura said standing. She tucked her clutch in the crook of her arm and grabbed her drink.

"Follow me!" She said brightly.

I sighed heavily. Why not right? I might as well join her, at least I could get good and drunk and have a meal before I was forced to face the horror show that was my life.

"Sure," I said grabbing my own drink and standing, "Lead the way."

The balcony wasn't really a balcony. I was a private roof top lounge. There were very few tables up there at all and the one Maura led me to was in the middle of a beautiful hanging garden with millions of soft white rope lights decorating the plants and trees. It was breathtakingly beautiful up there. I could smell the sweet scents of so many flowers as the soft warm early summer breeze blew through the garden. I couldn't stop myself from gasping and trying to look everywhere at once. I didn't want to miss anything. I just felt so calm surrounded by all the twinkling lights and pretty plants. I must have looked like a school girl or something because I caught Maura looking at me and smiling warmly.

"Do you like it?" Maura asked sweetly.

"Ummm, yeah its...WOW!" was all I could manage to say.

Maura's smile widened despite my dismal vocabulary. She took my hand in her own and led me along a winding stone path right into the center of the garden. I didn't even try and pull away from her. I let her hold my hand and lead me, I was far to captivated by the beauty around me to be overly concerned with Maura's unnaturally overly friendly nature. Besides, the woman was buying my alcohol and my dinner, she could hold my damn hand if she wanted too. The table she led me too had already been set and decorated. Two beautiful candles burned in the center and two places had been set. There were like five forks and a bunch of spoons and knives and like eight plates and bowls stacked on top of each other on each side of the table. Everything looked so...so...so upscale and super high class. I became extremely self conscious again. I didn't really know what to do. I usually ate fast food or take out or something. I was lucky if I had a plastic fork to eat with. What the hell were all those dishes for? And what was with all the silverware? I stopped short staring at the table. Maura stopped with me, she never let go of my hand but she did turn to study me.

"What's wrong Emily?" She asked curiously.

I didn't speak for a minute. I was at a loss for words. All my feelings of insecurity and inadequacy were bombarding my mind again. What the hell was I doing up here with this total stranger? Why was she being so kind to me...what the hell did she want with me? I didn't belong up on that rooftop garden, I didn't belong at a table with a million plates and sold silver silverware. I didn't deserve the company of this obviously accomplished, incredibly beautiful, immaculately dressed, heavenly vision of a woman. I was here to meet a John...I was a whore, I wasn't...I wasn't whatever this woman was beside me.

"I...I should go!" I stammered trying to find words to excuse myself from the situation and get the hell back down stairs.

Maybe my John was just running really really late...maybe he would still show up and I could feed my daughter.

"I'd really like it if you stayed Emily." Maura said softly looking at me with sweet sincere eyes.

The candle light did something strange to the color of her eyes, I could see the flames dancing in her bright hazel orbs. I was lost in her gaze for a moment. She was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen.

"I...I really shouldn't be here...I'm not supposed to be here..."

"...you're exactly where you're supposed to be," Maura interrupted me yet again.

"Sit down please...please!" Maura's voice was almost pleading.

I don't know why but I sat down. I didn't really have many other options. This at least was better than getting fucked by a total stranger for money. Even still, how would I feed my child.

Maura came up behind me and scooted in my chair. I laughed at the gesture unable to stop myself.

"What's so funny?" Maura asked coming around the table and sitting down herself.

"Nothing it's just...I imagined you more as the type to have your chair scooted in for _you_ and not the other way around." I said chuckling to myself.

Maura only smiled setting down her drink and leaning back in her chair crossing her legs in that casual way again. I noticed her legs were beautiful, her calves were shapely and strong yet still very feminine. She was so pretty.

"I'm full of surprises Emily." Maura said softly folding her hands in her lap.

I smiled myself at the comment.

"I imagine you are." I said sipping my drink for lack of better conversation.

This whole situation was just so odd and out of the blue. I didn't really know what to make of it all. Somehow I felt more comfortable though away from the eyes of other people.

"Are you comfortable?" Maura asked me.

I looked up into her eyes. She was studying me again. Why though?

I thought for a moment before I answered.

"Yes...yes and no." I said softly.

Maura raised an eyebrow.

"Care to elaborate?" she asked.

I thought I saw a grin on her pretty pink lips.

"It's just...why are we up here? Why are you doing all this for me?" I inquired curiously.

Maura laughed.

"I haven't done all that much for you Emily, we're just having dinner. And I prefer to eat away from the rabble of all those other people downstairs. It tends to get a bit bawdy the later the hour becomes and I don't appreciate the advances of certain men." Maura said matter of factly.

"Well...ok but why bring _me_ up here? You don't even _know_ me?"

Maura didn't answer for a while. She just looked at me. Why did she seem so amused?

"I'd like to get to know you, and as I stated before you seemed to be the most interesting person in the room downstairs. It's lonely traveling for business and I wanted some pleasant company." Maura said leaning forward on the table and resting her head in her hand.

"I'm really not all that interesting." I said suddenly becoming self conscious again.

I looked down at my cheap second hand dress and found myself running my hands over my thighs again nervously.

"Somehow I don't think that's true. I'm not in the habit of guessing, but I find myself believing you have quite a story to tell." Maura said.

Her beautiful eyes bored into me.

"Well, ok I guess." I said confused a bit.

"That's not much of a response," Maura remarked.

"I don't know what to say," I said a bit put off.

"Do you miss Boston?" Maura asked pleasantly.

"I...I guess. It's where my family died and I haven't been back there since." I said softly.

Maura was quiet for a while.

"So you left because of what happened to them?"

"No...I left before that. I came to New York to chase a dream. They died driving back from here to celebrate me making the police force."

I didn't know why I was saying all that. I didn't talk about my family to anyone. Well, I actually didn't have many, if any friends to talk to at all. I was sort of a recluse.

"Oh my, are you still in the force?" Maura asked.

"Ummm...no...I sort of fell apart after my family passed. I quit the force and..."I paused batting my lashes furiously. I felt that awful lump in my throat again.

Maura didn't speak. She just looked at me. I didn't dare meet her eyes, I felt bare and stripped down under her gaze.

"Please don't stop," Maura said finally.

Her voice was soft and gentle. I felt a wave of appreciation and admiration for the woman. She seemed genuinely nice and interested in me. She made me feel so comfortable and open, like I could tell her anything and she wouldn't judge me. Well almost anything. I found myself speaking again despite myself and the pain I was feeling remembering the horrible story of my life.

"I...I sort of spiraled out of control when my family died. They were all I had, I was all alone. It was my fault they got into that accident, my fault they died. If they hadn't come to see me they would never have been on the road, they'd never have been hit by that drunk driver. Worse, they never caught the guy or girl or whoever. The car that hit them was registered as stolen and the driver jumped out and ran anyway into the night. It's just so...anyway I sort of went crazy after that. I partied constantly, drank constantly...I did some other recreational stuff too. I don't really want to talk about all that. I had...I had lots of sex with guys. I somehow thought it made me feel less alone. But I was really lonelier than ever. Then I got pregnant with my baby." I smiled thinking of my daughter.

My smile faded when I remembered I had nothing to bring home to her. I hung my head in shame. I felt so defeated. I was just so tired. I felt the tears burning my eyes again. My baby needed me, I was all she had and I couldn't even get it together enough to whore myself out to feed her. I covered my mouth with my hand forcing back the sobs from overtaking me. I tried with all my might to maintain some control over myself. I didn't want to ruin Maura's dinner. She was being so kind to me, I didn't want her to see me break down.

Maura got up and scooted her chair over to me, right next to me. She sat down and took my hand gently in both of hers. I turned my face away, fighting not to cry. But Maura's touch was so sweet, she was so tender and kind and gentle to me. She was a complete stranger but she had shown me more sincerity and kindness I'd known since I lost my family. I'd prayed for a friend for so long, I'd prayed from the depths of my soul in the darkest of nights for someone, anyone to hold me. How long had I needed a shoulder to cry on, how long had I needed a kind word or a gentle touch. I'd never found one. I'd been all alone. I wrapped myself up in a shell of loneliness, hiding behind my sarcasm and bad attitude to make it easier to deal with my pain. The only gentleness I'd known in five years was from my daughter. And now here was this woman, this woman I didn't even know; she somehow managed to open up a flood gate of emotions I'd locked away for so long.

"You cannot blame yourself for what happened to your family. You weren't driving the car that hit them. It was a horrible, horrible accident. I can't even imagine what that must be like for you. But you absolutely cannot blame yourself, life is just...its cruel sometimes. Character is what is built in the face of great adversity, strength is what you find to over come your challenges, love is felt most keenly after suffering tremendous pain. Most importantly though Emily, children are a blessing." Maura said softly.

Her hands held my own so tenderly.

I choked on a sob. The woman's words were so comforting and precious. But she didn't know me, she didn't know what I'd done, the mistakes I'd made, the regrets I had. She didn't know anything. If she did, I certainly wouldn't be sitting here with her. She wouldn't have wasted a second on me if she only knew.

"I'm not strong, I don't have any character, and no one loves me...just my baby, there is no one else," I began to cry softly. There was no stopping it.

Maura was silent for a moment, but she never let go of my hand.

"I don't believe you Emily, maybe you _think_ that no one loves you, heaven forbid maybe you don't think you deserve to be loved. But you're right, your baby does love you and she's worth fighting for right? Find your strength and character for her sake if you can't do it for yourself." Maura said kindly.

I only cried harder. "I'm trying, I try so hard...but...but I'm such a failure."

"What's her name?" Maura asked.

"Her name is Angela...after my mother!" I felt tears run down my face.

I couldn't stop them. I couldn't stop thinking about my mother. I couldn't stop thinking about my regrets. I couldn't stop thinking all the times I should have told my Ma how much I loved her. But I rarely did...I rarely did. And now she was gone, I'd never get the chance to tell her how much she meant to me ever again. I felt my self double over in my grief.

Strong arms wrapped around me, Maura pulled me into her body and ran her hands over my back. I leaned my head on her shoulder and cried, I cried and cried from the depths of my soul.

I thought I heard a waiter approach and ask a question, Maura sent him away quickly and never released me from her arms.

"Shhhhh...shhhhh sweet heart its going to be ok alright. You can cry. It's ok to cry." Maura whispered into my ear.

She was so sweet. I didn't let myself cry for long though. I managed to pull myself together and broke away from Maura's grasp. I sat back in my chair and wiped my face with the cloth napkin folded like a swan on top of my stack of plates.

"I'm sorry, I must look like such a mess." I said drying my eyes.

"No...you're still quite gorgeous." Maura said squeezing my leg warmly. "Are you alright now?" She asked

"Yeah...I'll be ok."

"Good!" Maura said dragging her chair back to her place at the table and sitting down again.

I took several more long swallows of my drink. There was nothing like a good cry to sober you up.

"So how old is Angela?" Maura asked.

The woman was unrelenting in her questioning of me. I sighed. It _was _making feel better somehow to talk about everything. I'd spent so long bottling it up that everything was just coming out like a leaky faucet.

"She's...she's one!" I sighed staring down at my hands folded in my lap.

"You must love her very much," Maura said watching me closely.

"She's my everything, but...I'm a terrible mother." I said, one lonely tear ran down my cheek.

"I find that hard to believe."

"I can't support her, I lost my job a few months back and I can't find another one. I don't even have the money to feed her tonight. I was actually here to...to...to..." My voice trailed off.

What the hell was I supposed to say? I couldn't tell this debutante who had shown me so much kindness that she was dining with a whore.

"...To meet up with a date?" Maura finished for me.

"...uhhhh...yeah...actually...no." I said.

"No?" Maura asked

"I was supposed to meet up with a John. It's my first time and...I had no other choice I have to feed my baby!" I looked at Maura now pleading for understanding.

I don't even know why I was telling her at all but...I just needed someone to understand. I needed someone to know, I just needed...I needed to feel like someone out there could hear me and not judge me. Who better to do that than a complete stranger.

"But...my John never showed up...or maybe he did and decided he didn't want me. I'm not exactly dressed nice and I stick out like a sore thumb downstairs." I lowered my eyes again.

I didn't want to see the judgement that was sure to show all over Maura's exquisite face. I felt small enough around the woman and now I'd gone and blabbed my deepest darkest secrets. I felt so hopeless and worthless. What could I have been thinking?

"You're dress is very beautiful," Maura said kindly, "And I don't like to be referred to as a John...it sounds so...unpleasant!"

My eyes shot up in shock. What the _fuck_ did she just say?


	2. Second Chances and Sudden Chaos

**Jane**

My mind had gone completely blank. I imagined my expression revealed much of the same. I couldn't move let alone speak. I just stared blank eyed and scatter brained at my...my John? I could not have heard what I thought I did, it just couldn't be true. This woman this, this educated, immaculate, incredibly beautiful woman sitting across from me at this eloquent rooftop garden table just could _not_ be a John. I felt like I'd been kicked in the face. Carmelite said nothing about my...my 'date' being a woman. I didn't even know that kind of thing was possible! I mean _really_, who ever heard of such a thing?

_"Excuse me_?" I asked softly.

I didn't have much breath to speak above a whisper, despite the fact that I was breathing deeply and by heart was beating so quickly.

Maura only smiled, she seemed a little nervous herself now when I looked at her closely. Maura began wringing her hands and her eyes looked a little panicked despite their beauty.

"Please don't call me your John, the term isn't very endearing." The woman tried to smile casually, no doubt trying to get me to relax.

I must have looked like I'd been hit by a bus because that's how I felt. I'd just poured my heart and soul out to someone I thought was a complete stranger, someone I thought would be unbiased and nonjudgemental, someone I thought I'd never see again. Now to find out that all the while I'd been spilling my deepest darkest secrets to a woman who wanted to pay to have sex with me made me feel sick. I actually thought I might literally vomit all over the table.

"You...you mean you're here to...to fuck me?" I asked incredulously.

The reality of it all was just to much, I found motion in my limbs again and polished off my drink gasping for air when I'd drained the glass. I slammed the empty glass on the table breathing heavily.

Maura looked like I'd said something to hurt her. There was a pained frown on her face that I knew she was trying to control but wasn't being very successful. Her jaw worked furiously trying to find the right words to say. There were no right freaking words though, there were _no_ words for this unless they were curse words of the vilest nature. I felt myself growing more and more angry by the second. I was overwhelmed with a sudden urge to get up and run, run like hell far and fast, as fast as my skinny little legs would go.

"I...please don't say it like that Emily, it's not that simple, I'm not whatever it is you're thinking that I am." Maura pleaded.

I let out a choked scoffing laugh.

"Let me tell me what I think you are just so we're on the same damn page for fucking once." I spat at Maura.

I could feel my rage taking over me. I could feel my hands begin to tremble and my face flush with anger.

"In fact, I don't even know_ what _the hell to say to you. What is this...what's going on? Do you get off luring pathetic needy women to open up with all your sweet words and friendly smiles only to turn around and drop a bombshell like this? How does this work? What's supposed to happen now? Did you think I would just overlook the fact that you lied to me, practically seduced me into thinking you were something else and just let you fuck me like this shit never happened? Is this some kind of power thing for you...do you feel like a big man now? Am I supposed to fall into you with fluttering eyes and open legs because you tricked me into thinking you actually gave a damn about my sad ass life. Am I supposed to think you're my savior or something? What was all that bullshit about '_finding my strength' _and '_children are a blessing'_, and _'character is built on this and that and what not'? _What the fuck was that? Did you think we were going to make sweet passionate love after everything I revealed to you and I'd thank you for it? This is bullshit, this isn't how this is supposed to be!" I said angrily glaring daggers at Maura.

I was feeling more and more disgusted by the minute. When I walked into the hotel bar I'd expected a lot of things. I knew why I was there and what I was willing to do, what I had to do to save my child. But none of my preconceived notions included anything like this. They certainly hadn't included having to sleep with a woman, and I certainly hadn't expected to be hoodwinked like a goddamn idiot. This whole thing was _insane_.

Maura was silent for a few moments. She wasn't looking at me anymore, she was staring at her hands in front of her. Her eyes were closed and her face looked hurt and troubled. I had no sympathy for her though, I hadn't said anything that wasn't true. Slowly Maura brought her eyes back to mine, she looked very sad for some reason.

"I didn't lie to you..." She started but I immediately cut her off.

"...Yes the fuck you DID!" I screamed at her jabbing a stiff pointed finger right at her face.

Thank goodness there were no other people around to hear me lose control of myself. I had a lot more yelling to do and I was glad at least that I could do it in private.

"How Emily? How did I lie to you?" Maura's voice was desperate and pleading. Her face reflected much of the same.

I just couldn't believe the audacity of the woman. How _dare _she try and pretend she wasn't in the wrong here.

"You said you sat next to me because you thought I looked like the most interesting person in the room. What a goddamn crock of bullshit! You never introduced yourself for what you really are, you never said anything when I said I was here to meet a date, _knowing_ I was referring to you. You let me think I'd been stood up. You let me think you were just being friendly and kind by talking to me. You tricked me with all your chivalry and sweet words making me think you were a nice person or something. You _made_ me open up to you, you _made_ me tell you everything about myself. All those things I told you...I've _never_ told anybody that stuff before...not like I did with you..." my voice trailed off.

I covered my mouth with a shaky hand closing my eyes tightly against the reality of what I'd revealed of myself to this woman, to my John. I wanted to cry all over again.

"Emily, you _were _the most interesting person in that room, I didn't want to introduce myself immediately as your...'date' because I just wanted to talk for a while. Believe it or not I don't sleep with women on the first 'date'. I like to get to know them a little bit before..." Maura's own voice trailed off.

She sighed heavily closing her eyes and shaking her head.

"I rarely ever..._ever _sleep with my 'dates'. I told you I only wanted company and I wasn't lying. And I didn't force you to reveal anything about yourself that you didn't want to. You opened up to me freely and I listened because it seemed you really needed someone to talk too. All the things I said about strength and character and love...Emily all those thing are absolutely true. If nothing else please, _please_ don't discredit that. I _was _only trying to help you and comfort you. I was honored that you were so open and honest with me. You made me feel...you made me feel...you made me feel normal! Like I had something to offer other than just money or random textbook facts. I'm _sorry_ if I hurt you or misled you. I would have told you the truth sooner but...I was just so engrossed in you. When I first walked into the bar I noticed you immediately. You...you took my breath away. You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen and I actually felt...I felt honored to be the one sitting next to you." Maura lowered her desperate eyes and started twirling her thumbs around one another.

"I liked that you opened up to me, I liked that you let me hold you while you cried, I liked the look on your face when we stepped out of the elevator and you saw the gardens. I just wanted to go on all night just talking to you. You_ amaze _me Emily, you're not like_ anyone _I've ever met." Maura finished the last bit in a whisper.

I didn't know what the hell to think. Was this just another ruse of hers?

"So what now...I'm supposed to just roll over under a few compliments you throw my way and forget how fucked up you are and how pissed I am? I know I'm a whore, but there are still rules. Firstly there's honesty and you weren't honest with me. You knew what I was yet you chose not to reveal yourself for what _you_ were, luring me into a false sense of security. And what the hell are you doing buying whores anyway?" I asked with an angry huff.

Maura looked up and smiled painfully at me.

"I...this might sound sad but, I don't have any friends. I suffer from social anxiety and I'm oddly awkward around people unless it's about work or business. Most people find me annoying or strange or bossy and avoid me. It's been that way my whole life. When I come to New York I just...I want to feel something different. Paying people to pretend to be interested in me sort of makes me feel...normal. Even though I know it isn't real." Maura lowered her eyes again. She did indeed look very sad.

I was irritated to find I felt sorry for her a little bit. She did look rather small and pathetic in that moment. It was a far cry from the woman I thought she was before. I no longer felt tiny next to her, now I just felt weird.

"I find that hard to believe. Who wouldn't want to be your friend? You were so open and kind to me, why aren't you like that with everyone? You shouldn't have to pay for...for company that's just crazy!" I asked perplexed by Maura's revelation of herself.

Maura didn't speak for a moment. She was trying to find the right words again. I waited patiently for her to speak.

"I...I try to open up to people but, it just never works. I can never find the words. Actually...actually living people scare me most of the time. I'm always second guessing myself, always self conscious, always worried about saying the wrong thing or afraid of what people say of me behind my back. I...I had a rough childhood, I never made friends in my youth and I've never grown out of it. I live alone and always have, I work mostly with the dead and no one speaks to me at work unless they absolutely have to. I...I live a lonely life Emily." Maura said. Her eyes were heavy with grief.

I rolled my eyes in spite of myself.

"This...this is not what happens on this kind of a 'date' Maura. Whores and Johns don't sit around a dinner table and just...talk and stuff about their deepest darkest secrets. I'm paid for a very specific service. I provide that service, take my money and go the fuck home. This...this is just not how this was supposed to go." I sighed heavily looking at my empty drink glass. God I wished there was liquor in there.

Maura looked at me now incredulously.

"You _are _providing me a service, the service of your company." Maura insisted.

I rolled my eyes again.

"My John's are _not_ supposed to know _anything_ personal about me. Not even my real name!" I exclaimed incredulously.

Why the hell could this woman not understand that this situation was completely inappropriate.

"Emily isn't your real name?" Maura asked me like I'd just blown her freaking mind.

I spit curses through gritted teeth. This woman just could not be this clueless.

"Really?" I spat at her,"...Fucking REALLY? You act like your a goddamn virgin or something. Do you really think all those other whores you've fucked gave you their real names? This...this is _crazy_!" I almost laughed as I rubbed my temples with my fingers.

"I...I won't tell anyone about anything you told me. I won't betray your confidence Emily and I won't use it against you either. I'm not a monster." Maura pleaded with me. "I really, honestly, and truly just came here to meet you and talk to you. Carmelite said you'd be perfect for me when she showed me your picture. She said it was your first time and that you weren't the average girl. She said you were just my type and...she was right Emily. Carmelite knows my habits, she knows I don't sleep with most of her girls and never on the first date. She set you up with me because she really likes you and she knew you had all the right things to offer me...things that aren't just...sex!" Maura sighed deeply and finished off her own drink.

I could not believe what I was hearing.

"You're telling me you're going to pay me to listen to my freaking sob stories all night and that's it?" I grunted in sarcastic disbelief.

Maura's face changed into something that looked like mild irritation.

"Would you rather come back to my room and let me have my way with you?" She asked in a level tone rippled with something like contempt.

The nerve of this woman blew my mind. I shook my head at her in bewildered disbelief.

"I just gotta get the hell outta here, Carmelite will never hire me again thanks a lot for ruining my last option for me. You...you _enjoy_ your evening Maura," I said gathering my purse and standing to leave.

"Wait...wait _please_ Emily wait..." Maura said standing and moving to block my way.

I growled in frustration.

"Maura..._move_!" I commanded.

"NO!" She shot back in an equally commanding tone.

I was actually taken back a bit. I didn't know this woman was capable of yelling, she seemed so poised and mannerly. But the fire in her eyes belied an anger I didn't know she had in her. I stopped dead in my tracks, to shocked to move or speak.

Maura took a moment to compose herself. She sighed closing her eyes bringing her hands up to her lips in a praying manner. I knew she was trying to bat down the angry flames inside of her. I saw the muscles in her face work hard to control her expression, her lips trembled slightly with the effort. Finally with a painfully level and determined voice she spoke.

"Emily, I will pay you for the evening. Just...please don't go...not like this. I'd like to buy you dinner, and I'd like to see you again before I leave for Boston. I truly do just want your company tonight, and I promise, I _promise _I won't make you feel like I lied to you or mislead you ever again. You can ask me anything you like and I promise I'll tell you anything you want to know. Just please..._please _don't go. I feel horrible about...about how I've made you feel. It was never, ever my intention to hurt you."

Maura opened her eyes and looked at me. Her eyes were wide with sincerity, she did not look like a creepy weirdo John that wanted to break me down and fuck me at my lowest. I sighed heavily, why did she have to be so pretty? Why did I actually have to kind of like her? Why was she fighting so hard to get me to stay? Why did I have to need the money so damn bad?

We stood there for many long moments just staring into each others eyes. I was desperately searching for truth in her words. Maura,I could tell, was desperately hoping I would conceded to her wishes. I started to speak but I was cut short by the sudden appearance of a waiter approaching us along the winding stone pathway. He was a middle-aged balding man in a sharp tuxedo and shiny black dress shoes. He walked with the straight back and certain steps of a man who's been in the service of wealthy people for a very long time. He walked right up next to us and bowed his head slightly at both Maura and I.

"Dr. Isles, may I be of service to you this evening," the man asked in a clipped prim tone laced with some kind of accent.

I don't know why I found that to be funny, but I turned my head and tried to hide the giggles from escaping my mouth. It seemed Maura had a lot of people in her...'service'.

Maura hesitated for a moment, I think she noticed me trying not to giggle.

"Emily, would you like another drink?" Maura asked me timidly.

I turned back to the two of them and smiled as pleasantly as I could. I had a child to support, and if Maura wanted to pay me just to feed and water me then well...hell yeah!

"Yes please," I said as politely as I could in front of the waiter.

The man bowed his head at each of us again, took our empty glasses and walked away again up the winding path without another word.

Maura and I were left standing there alone. We were both fidgeting awkwardly and not making eye contact with each other. It was kinda weird.

"Would you like to have a seat?" Maura asked me softly.

I noticed she was staring down at her feet. She really was awkward I noticed.

"Sure," I said pleasantly.

Maura looked up at me and smiled. Her whole face lit up and her eyes sparkled. My breath caught in my throat a little bit, God she was beautiful.

I moved toward my chair and Maura moved swiftly behind me scooting me in again when I sat down. I smiled to myself. She_ was _very sweet I had to admit, even if she was weird.

Maura sat opposite me again and smiled warmly. We didn't speak for a while, I stared at everything but her and she...I could tell...never took her eyes from me.

"Is there anything you'd like to know about me?" Maura asked after a while.

I looked back at her, cocking my head and thinking.

"How many whores have you had sex with?" I asked right off the top.

I felt no shame in asking the question, Maura did say she'd tell me anything I wanted to know about her and that's what I wanted to know most. Besides, I don't care how uncomfortable it made her...I deserved to ask whatever I wanted damn it.

Maura didn't flinch at the question. She just studied me briefly, her hazel eyes glowing in the candle light.

"I don't actually think of the women I associate with as...as 'whores'," She said frankly.

I rolled my eyes again.

"Let's not dance around the truth. I am what I am and I chose this path knowing full well what was expected of me. There is only _one_ word for a woman that sells her body and that's '**whore**'!" I emphasized the word dramatically. "Now answer my question," I demanded sharply.

"Do you really want to know?" She asked me nonchalantly.

"Yes!" I said without missing a beat.

"Only two," Maura said casually.

I rolled my eyes again. Carmelite already told me she was a regular, I didn't believe Maura had only slept with two of Carmelite's girls for a second.

"You lie," I accused.

"No...I don't lie...not out right." Maura said unconcerned with my accusing tone.

"I know you're a regular at the agency...you expect me to believe you've only slept with two of the girls?"

"You don't have to believe me if you choose not too...but I_ am _being honest with you. I've only slept with two of the women. One was only a one time thing, and one I saw for years." Maura said smiling at me pleasantly.

"Why don't you sleep with more of the girls?"

"Because I'm not sexually attracted to them." Maura stated matter of factly.

I cocked my head to the side giving her my most disbelieving look. Maura smiled widely.

"You don't believe that either I take it!" She chuckled more to herself than to me.

"Why weren't you attracted to them?" I pushed.

"Most were just to silly, or to wrapped up in playing some pretend role they thought would turn me on. I hate that. Some...some were far to desperate to become my regular, some were far to unintelligent. I look for truth, intelligence, genuine character, a woman with her own sense of self not just some girl playing a part. I...I look for women like you!" Maura said smiling at me.

I was thrown off a little. That might have been the sweetest compliment anyone had ever given me...and it was coming from a 'John'. I didn't speak for a few moments, I just stared at Maura my eyes blinking dumbly, my mind trying to process what she'd actually said. This woman was...she was like no one I'd ever met. She was my John but she was so, so much more than that. Maura just might_ have _actually been the sweet, kind, precious person I thought she was when I poured my heart out to her.

"Do you want to...to sleep with _me_?" I asked timidly staring down at my silverware.

I could see Maura's smile widen above my eye lids.

"Maybe at some point...but not tonight." she said casually.

The waiter returned with our drinks before I could respond. He nodded his head toward me and spoke a few words in a foreign language to Maura. Maura smiled and answered him in the same language. He bowed his head to her, turned on his heels and walked away.

"What was that?" I asked curiously.

"That's Paul, he's worked for my family for years. He was asking if I wanted to order on menu or place a special order." Maura said sipping her drink.

I was struck dumb for a moment...again.

"I thought he worked for the hotel dinning lounge!" I blurted out before I could stop myself.

Maura's eyes crinkled warmly over the rim of her glass.

"My family owns this hotel, actually...I own this hotel and several other real estate properties around New York. That's what brings me here for business so often." Maura said setting down her glass and leaning back comfortably.

I was flabberghasted...again.

"You...y-y-you _own_ this hotel?" I asked in a breathy stunned voice.

I suddenly felt very small again, despite knowing I was sitting across from my John. Apparently my 'John' was far more out of my league that I originally thought before I even knew she was my 'John'. I began brushing the wrinkles from my dress again. I had no business sitting with this woman, in _her _garden on top of _her_ hotel being serviced by_ her _employees. This was getting weirder and weirder by the moment.

"Are you uncomfortable with that fact?" Maura asked me tilting her head a little as she studied me.

"I just, that guy called you Doctor. I thought you were a Doctor!" I exclaimed.

In truth I certainly_ was_ uncomfortable. I hadn't anticipated this, I hadn't anticipated anything that had gone down so far this evening. I thought about my tiny little loft apartment with it's leaky ceiling and rusty pipes. I thought about my empty bank account and the bus pass in my purse. I thought about my little baby and the dish soap I'd bathed her in last night. I thought about the fact that I was a whore, no matter the fact that Maura claimed she only wanted to talk, I was still a whore. I looked down at my cheap Pay Less shoes and my second hand dress and felt my body shrivel up into itself. I wrapped my arms around my body unconsciously trying to hide my inadequacy from this titan of a woman. How long before she realized she didn't want me, that I was just a worthless desperate working girl with no class and no prospects for the future beside a life of hardship and struggle? I thought a lot of things that made me sad.

Maura must have noticed the change in my demeanor because I caught her smiling at me across the table almost...almost tenderly.

"In truth I _am _a doctor, I'm a pathologist actually. The chief medical examiner for the greater Commonwealth of Massachusetts. I have people to run the day to day affairs of my other business interest, but I'm still the majority share holder. I come here for board meetings and to oversee things from time to time. Please don't be uncomfortable, I'm really not that pretentious." Maura giggled a little at my obvious squirminess.

"I, I don't know what to say you're just so...so accomplished and classy and I'm just...I'm nothing." I said sadly lowering my eyes to my lap.

"Don't be silly Emily, you're far...very very far from nothing." Maura tried to assure me confidently.

I only squirmed harder.

"Why do you want me here again? You have everything, you could have anyone you wanted!" I exclaimed.

I knew my eyes were bright with excitement and disbelief.

"I've told you already. I don't get along well with people. I might own this hotel and others but people still think I'm strange and boring and weird. Most are extremely intimidated by me anyway and don't approach me at all. The rest just want something from me. You, you are none of those things." Maura said grinning at me.

"In truth, no one has spoken to me the way you have tonight in my entire life." She chuckled.

"What do you mean?" I asked frowning at her little revelation.

"No one challenges me, no one questions me, and no one_ ever _raises their voice to me. Mostly people avoid me all together unless their asking for money or information. You...you are fearless! _You_ are a breath of fresh air."

I laughed nervously.

"Well then in that case it's my pleasure to scream at you," I joked sarcastically.

Maura actually laughed. It was a pretty light-hearted laugh.

"I'm glad I amuse you too," I added giggling a little bit myself.

"This is the most fun I've had in ages," Maura said leaning over and looking at me more closely. God she was beautiful.

"What time do I need to get you home?" Maura asked.

I hesitated for a moment.

"Oh...I can just take the bus or something, you don't have to cart me around." I said uncomfortably again.

"Don't be silly, you're my date, I'll see you home safely. I don't want you roaming the streets of New York late at night! There are bad guys out there just waiting to swallow up a beauty like you!" Maura said sweetly showing me all her pretty white teeth in an ear to ear grin.

I melted a little bit inside. She really was very kind. I hated being out in the streets at night alone. I wondered if Maura was like this on all her...her 'dates'.

"Ummm, I told my baby sitter one a.m. at the latest. But she's my neighbors kid, she'll just sleep on the bed until I get back. My baby's a good girl, she sleeps through the night." I said smiling as I thought of my child.

I imagined she was fast asleep now, comforted by pleasant dreams I hoped. I sighed lightly when I thought of how I'd be able to buy her all the things she needed tomorrow. I was going to take care of her, I was going to be a good mom, finally..._finally_. I fought back my tears of joy and relief. I was overwhelmed with emotions. I was going to get to feed my baby without ever having to spread my legs, at least not tonight. I smiled, it was the most light-hearted smile I'd worn on my face in years.

"Good, we have some time," Maura said pleasantly "What would you like for dinner?"

"Ummm, don't I get a menu or something?" I asked peevishly.

I'd never dined at a place like this. I was a cheese burger or pasta kind of a girl. I suddenly felt self-conscious again. Maura noticed immediately and put an immediate stop to it.

"Emily, please relax!" She pleaded with me, her eyes were earnest and sincere. I smiled in spite of myself. "Order whatever you like to eat, the kitchen will make whatever you want."

I frowned a little, "I can order anything...anything off the top of my head?"

Maura laughed.

"Yes ma'am," she smiled.

I decided to be devious, "I want...I want alligator!" I blurted out giggling at my own sillyness. I'd always wanted to try alligator.

"How would you like it prepared?" Maura grinned chuckling along with me.

"Are you serious?" I asked perplexed that Maura hadn't immediately said my request was impossible.

"I don't lie remember," Maura winked at me.

My felt my grin expand across the whole of my face. Was this really happening? Was I really about to fulfill a life long dream of eating a dish I never thought I would? We were in New York for Christ sake. There weren't any freaking alligators around these parts.

"Fried, I want it fried, with lemon and tartar sauce on the side...oh and french fries...I love french fries...oh and calamari...I love calamari!" I gushed.

I hadn't eaten a decent meal in ages. My stomach roared and rumbled as my mind conjured up visions of all the yummy things I loved but couldn't afford. Besides that the alcohol was getting to me and I needed to eat...like a lot, I needed to eat a lot.

Maura's smile was all amusement, almost maternal, yet still warm and inviting.

"How about something green to go along with all your junk food sweetheart." she teased, but she was kind about it.

I scrunched up my face in disgust.

"Yuck...I hate veggies," I cracked.

Maura laughed out loud.

"How do you stay so very thin?" she asked me curiously.

I smiled.

"I'm naturally thin, I was blessed I guess. It's a good thing cause I eat like an animal." I joked along with Maura.

Maura's eyes were warm and full of amusement.

The waiter brought me everything I asked for. Actually it was more like five waiters that hustled up to us with heavy trays loaded mostly with the goodies I had ordered and various extra sides to compliment my entrees. They bustled around the tabled laying a fresh cloth napkin in my lap and clearing away unnecessary dishes to make room for my treats. The chef himself even came up to explain every dish and what was in it. He even called me Lady Emily like I was some simpering girly girl. I giggled and grinned at him tasting everything he'd made as he mentioned it. I complimented him graciously and with much excitement as his delicious food melted in my mouth. He seemed beside himself at all my compliments. The chef's chest stuck out further and further each time I moaned and groaned in pleasure with a mouthful of his delicious dishes. The Chef and all the waiters were all so kind and polite and complimented _me_ for everything under the sun from my exquisite taste in food to my attire and my pretty face.

I was all excitement and amusement. I felt like a little princess being fawned over and catered to like I never thought I would. All the while Maura only smiled at me and seemed to enjoy how excited I was. She laughed along with her staff at all my silly jokes and even teased me once or twice for my overzealous nature. I only frowned at her and hurled back teases of my own that were met with pleasant chuckles all around. After the waiters left I stared at the plates in front of me wide-eyed and flabbergasted. It was all so good and was piping hot, fresh, and just for me.

Maura ate her salad as she watched me tear into everything in front of me. It was all so delicious. I'd never tasted anything so good in my life, except maybe my mother's cooking. I didn't think about that though, I was enjoying myself to much to be brought down by things I'd never experience again.

Maura and I made pleasant conversation throughout the entire meal, I asked more about her life and she answered me easily without hesitation. I learned so many things about her. She went to boarding school in Europe her entire childhood, her mother was a famous artist, her father was a successful business man. She was an only adopted child, she enjoyed jogging and yoga and had a pet turtle named Bass. Maura preferred classical music and reading books verses watching TV or playing on the internet like I did. Apparently she was some sort of genius, she had graduated two years early as valedictorian from an Ivy League University. She headed a slew of charities and foundations and had a thing for fashion and shoes. I listened keenly to everything Maura told me as I ate voraciously. I wasn't even interested in my alcohol anymore. Somehow I felt just fine without it. I just wanted to know more about Maura, she was so interesting. I forgot all about my own miseries listening to Maura speak. Maura did chide me a few times about eating to fast, I'd only roll my eyes.

"I'm not going to choke Maura...I've been eating my whole life I know what I'm doing!" I shot at her at one point.

I was only joking with her, but still she was starting to sound like my mother.

Maura only laughed.

"I'll save you if you _do_ choke, I know the hymlic, and I can do chest compressions if you pass out." Maura joked with me.

"Yeah...what about mouth to mouth?" I said, giving her my most devilish grin.

Maura stopped moving for a second. She was holding her fork in mid-air and had stopped chewing mid bite. The look in her eyes was wild yet somehow still maintained a level of reserve.

"I've been trained to perform that also...for someone in need." She said carefully after she finally managed to swallow her mouthful of salad.

I didn't reply immediately. I was in a cheerful mood, but I didn't want to be overly inappropriate in Maura's esteemed company.

"I should eat with doctors more often. It might save my life one day," I said backing out of the sexual innuendo's.

Maura's eyebrows raised sharply.

"Doctors in the plural?" her voice was level and laced with forced control.

I was shocked momentarily. Did I hear a hint of some jealousy in her voice?

"I...I didn't mean it like that I just...never mind." I said shaking my head and trying to brush the whole thing off.

The last thing I wanted was to piss this woman off. I thought I saw something behind her eyes that was almost...chilly, chilly and threatening. Not necessarily threatening toward me, more threatening about the idea of me eating with other doctors.

Did this woman have some kind of weird control issue or something? I'd heard powerful people often did have such personality problems. Still, I _was_ a whore after all, certainly the good doctor Isles had to acknowledge that fact at some point. She had to know there would be other 'Johns' in and out of my life, and_ only _for what was between my legs, meal not included. I did find myself feeling sad about that but I quickly brushed it aside. I was having a good time and I didn't want to ruin it. Besides, Maura might have been the perfect gentleman or gentlewoman or whatever. But I wasn't delusional enough to believe I'd ever get so lucky again with a 'date'. I knew I'd have to spread my legs and open my mouth for some strange man at some point, but not tonight it seemed. I was resigned to do what I had to do in the future, I'd come to terms with that already. My daughter did have to eat after all.

Maura however wasn't so easily dissuaded from the subject I was loath to notice. She set down her fork and sat back in her chair crossing her legs again and folding her hands in her lap. Her gaze was level and her face was frozen in some serious no-nonsense expression. I gulped hard swallowing a great lump of food that I hadn't chewed all the way.

"_Oh Boy!"_ I thought as I watched Maura's entire demeanor change in a matter of seconds.

I didn't speak. I didn't want to say anything else that might upset the woman. She was my...my 'John' after all. Even if she _was_ turning out to be pleasant company and buying me this crazy good meal, she was still my 'John' and I was her purchased whore. It was a while before even Maura found words to speak.

"I'd like you to consider not seeing anyone else. I prefer exclusivity in my relationships." Maura said carefully. She was watching my face like a hawk.

I hoped I was doing a good job of not looking bewildered. I imagined I wasn't being very successful.

"Ummm, Maura you know I have a child to feed. That's the only reason I'm doing this after all. I mean...you're awsome and everything. I'm...I'm really having a great time but, I have to put my daughter first." I said as gently as I could.

"Besides, Carmelite has...she has expectations of all her girls. She'll boot me if I don't bring in my quota!" I desperately explained.

I really did want Maura to understand that I wasn't shunning her, I just had obligations.

Maura was silent a while longer. Her face never changed it's stony expression. The candlelight dancing in her hazel eyes made her look...Jesus it was almost scary.

"I'll deal with Carmelite, you don't need to concern yourself with her at all anymore if you agree to exclusivity. I must be honest with you Emily, I don't share." Maura said dangerously. "I'll see that you are cared for, you and Angela both. But I do _not _share."

I was silent. I didn't know what the hell to say. What exactly was she asking me, what did she want from me? What were her expectations? I started to ask all of those things when my cell phone rang in my purse. I was jolted from my thoughts.

"I'm so sorry, I have to answer, it might be my babysitter." I apologized frantically searching in my purse for my phone.

I found it finally and saw that it was indeed my baby sitter. I felt my heart drop and adrenaline surge from my core and through my body. My babysitter never called me when I was out. Was something wrong? I felt my heart pick up its pace and my breath quicken. I pushed the green answer button...

"...Hello?" I said frantically into the phone.

"JANE!" the young voice of my teenage baby sitter sounded in my ear.

She was hysterical I could tell right off the bat. My stomach was doing somersaults and I felt my hands begin to shake.

"What's wrong sweetheart has something happened?" my voice was shaky. I was terrified.

"OH MY GOD, you have to come _home_. I think something's wrong with Angela. She was in her crib, and I was sleeping and she just started screaming out of no where. She won't stop Jane I don't _know_ what to _do!_ I don't know what's wrong! I found a remote in her crib, the back was gone and one of the batteries is missing, I think she _swallowed_ it or something. Oh my god...OH my GOD Jane you have to come home NOW!" my babysitter's voice was rippled with mania and panic. I could hear my baby screaming in the background. The sound sent cold shivers through my entire body and goose bumps exploded all over my skin.

I started crying immediately. My lungs burned inside my body. My breath was impossibly rapid and shallow. I could feel sweat break out all over my body. My limbs were shaking uncontrollably. My heart raced a mile a minute. Angela's screams were radiating through the very pit of my soul. It was the most bloodcurdling sound I'd ever heard in my life. I couldn't find words, I couldn't find thoughts. I was blank of all but terrifying fear and raging panick. I tried to speak but my voice only came out in a high pitched cracked wail. Angela was screaming like crazy, I'd never _ever_ heard her make such a sound in my life. I thought I was going to vomit all over myself.

Maura saw me panicking. Before I knew it she was by my side grabbing the phone from my hand. I made no attempts to stop her. I just collapsed to my knees grabbing at my chest and my racing heart. The panic inside me was beyond my control. The tears streaming down my face were unstoppable. The choked horrible sobs escaping my mouth were burning my throat. I felt light headed and dizzy, everything was going all blurry and wavy. I couldn't get the sound of Angela's screams from my mind.

"_My baby, my baby, my baby,"_ I wailed over and over between desperate gasping sobs and gulps of air. I was shaking all over now, consumed with the rush of adrenaline that was flooding my mind with horrible thoughts.

"Hello?" I heard Maura say into the phone.

I couldn't see Maura's expression, my back was to her as I wailed and sobbed on my knees clutching my chest for dear life. Flashes of my mother's face danced before my eyes. I saw my brothers too, both of them. I saw them as clear as day. They were there right in front of me, but they weren't there for me. I saw my baby in my mind, I saw her screaming in her crib, crying out for me. I was rocked with agony, I had to get to my baby, I had to get there before death came for her and took her from me. She was all I had, she was _all_ I had.

The terrifying screams of my baby girl wouldn't stop replaying in my mind. The sound ran through me like poison through a vein. I was crippled in fear and guilt and pain. Why was I here? Why was I not with my baby? What was happening to her? Why wasn't I there to protect her? Why couldn't I move? Why couldn't I stop screaming and crying and find a way to get to my child? I doubled over on my hands and knees overcome with the reality of what was happening to my baby. The sound of Angela's screams were haunting me. Visions of tiny caskets and black veils played in my mind's eye. I arched my back and emptied the contents of my very full stomach. It was true, I was nothing, I was less than nothing. I was a whore, there was no mercy for whores. I let out a wailing earthshaking scream of agony from the depths of my soul. _My baby, my baby, my baby!_

I heard Maura's voice behind me screaming into my phone.

"...Sweetheart call 911 now...do it NOW kid you can't wait for us to get there, you don't have the time. Give the other battery in the remote to the first aid responders when they get there. Tell the operator exactly what happened, try to describe the battery to them, tell them all of Angela's symptoms...do it now...NO you have to do it NOW! I'm hanging up, we'll meet you at the hospital."

I screamed and screamed and cried. I was failing my child again. I always failed the ones I loved the most. They always left me. I was always stuck behind, with nothing but my grief and guilt. I wrapped my arms around my body wishing my child was in my arms, wishing I was there to protect her, to comfort her, to heal her. I cried.

Maura moved to kneel in front of me and grasped me roughly by the arms. I was still crying hysterically. I couldn't stop shaking, I couldn't catch my breath, I couldn't move. I was a frozen, hysterical, terrified mess.

"We have to go Emily now...we_ have _to go!" Maura shook me roughly.

I barely heard her, I grabbed my hair and pulled tightly with both hands. I could see my babies face in my head, I could hear her wails of pain and terror. She needed me, I was supposed to be there, I was supposed to be _there_.

"No...OH GOD...OH GOD!" I cried and cried.

Maura left me and found her own cell phone and made a call. I don't know how but in a matter of forty five seconds a strong man had swooped me up into his arms and I was being carried towards the elevators still screaming hysterically. I could hear Maura's voice shouting desperate commands to someone, but I couldn't make out what she was saying. I couldn't make out any of the voices around me. I was aware of nothing but my fear for my daughter, the pain in my body, and my agony in my heart.

I had never been so afraid in my entire life.


	3. Darkness Falls

**A/N: So this one is long as hell again. Sorry about that...it takes a lot of words to lay out a scene in the first person so that you guys can visualize with me every step of the way. This one is sad and intense but hopefully you can find the beauty in it too...and you know how I love the cliffhangers. LOL! To all those following this story and reviewing my work, bless you guys. You mean the world to me. I had no idea this story would be so widely and openly received. Please keep reviewing and give me your ideas. I like to know what you guys think. That being said...here we go again!**

**Maura**

"Emily, sweet heart you have to calm _down_!" I pleaded with the dark-haired beauty who had fallen to her knees in the surgical waiting room of NYU's Memorial Hospital.

Emily was hysterical and had been so since that fateful call she received in the middle of dinner. It had taken everything I had, every ounce of strength and every connection I'd ever made to get us to the hospital so quickly. We arrived fifteen minutes after the ambulance and rushed in side only to find out that Angela had already been sent to radiology for x-rays. Emily had fallen apart all over again when she realized she couldn't see her child. They wouldn't let her into the radiology room and had no answers as to exactly what was going on until the x-rays came back. Angela's condition had been described to us as 'extremely critical'.

Emily had another all out panic attack when the Doctor said those words, 'Extremely Critical'. The Doctor had emphasized the word '_Extremely'_. I knew what that meant. I'd done two rounds of surgical residency and I knew exactly what that meant. Angela was in trouble, deep, deep trouble. I saw the worry in the Doctor's eyes. His face remained a mask of unreadable emotions, his expression never changed. But I knew what I saw. It was all in the eyes.

Doctor Jenkins' eyes were strained and slightly bulging when he delivered the fateful news. I could see the pressure he was feeling by the dampness of his sweaty face. He was worried. I knew it. I wanted to ask more questions, I wanted to push for more information but Emily was the only one they would speak to directly and she was in no condition to think clearly, let alone speak in any intelligent fashion to the doctors and nurses.

I was worried about Angela, but I was more worried about Emily. She had collapsed onto the floor on her knees upon hearing the Doctor's daunting information. She was screaming and crying so hard everyone on the first floor could probably hear her. They were the most heartbreaking, painful wails of despair I'd ever heard. Everyone around us was staring sideways, their expressions pained and uncomfortable. Every eye was on us, every whisper was about us. Normally I would not have been able to deal with this situation. I hated being stared at, I hated being whispered about. This happened to me far to often my entire life and it always drove me to flee to a corner and curl up into myself. But I couldn't do that this time, not _this_ time.

I kneeled with Emily on the floor in front of everybody, pleading with her, trying desperately to comfort her. I tried to wrap my arms around her body but she was shaking so hard and rocking back and forth in her grief barely able to breathe and certainly couldn't speak. Her hands were clasped together in front of her face in a grip so tight her knuckles were turning white. Tears were soaking her face and falling steadily onto the cold linoleum of the floor beneath us. I could only imagine what she must have been thinking, I could see the terror in her eyes behind all the tears. I could hear the heartbreak and panic in her steady, shrill wails of pain. Emily could hear no words, her mind had stopped registering speech beyond what the doctor had said. _'Extremely Critical'_.

What could I do? What could I say? There were no words of comfort for a grieving terror-stricken mother. What pain must she feel knowing her child's very life was in danger? What horror was it to have to be told you can't be with your child, knowing that any moment might be their last? What agony was it to have to wait, to wait to hear what you knew would only be bad news, bad news about the life of your child? What strength could a mother find staring down the long dark tunnel of a hellish existence without the one they had carried in their bodies for nine months? What visions swam through their minds, what memories played through their heads? What love was greater than that of the love of a mother for her child? What would a mother not do for her child? What would they not sacrifice, what would they not give? What mother would not be willing to lay down their own life if it would save her child?

I had no children, I could never understand the gravity of Emily's reality in that moment. I was terror-stricken in a way I'd never felt before, but still, I had not carried that child. I had not felt her move inside me, I had not whispered to my womb sweet words when I felt her stir. I had not pushed her from my body in blood and pain. I had not held her in my arms as she took her first breaths and opened her eyes for the first time to gaze upon the beauty of the world around her. I did not know what it was to be a mother, to live only for another person. To protect them, to pick them up when they fell, to teach them each and every thing they knew of life. I never would no such joy or such responsibility. I was barren. That was a pain I had to deal with all on my own. Yet in still, I felt for Emily. How could I not?

Emily would do anything, anything to be in Angela's position. I knew that, I knew that when she first told me of her child. Emily had been willing to sell herself just to feed the little girl. Angela was all she had. There was nothing and no one else in the world for her. She had lost so much already, she had lost everything and everyone she loved. The thought of losing Angela also was driving her to the brink of her sanity.

I tried to hold Emily as she cried. My heart was breaking seeing her like this. It was terrible to look upon, her screams were awful to hear. They cut down into the very core of me, piercing my ears and my mind with wave after wave of sympathy and grief. I knew everyone else in the room could hear and feel it too. I could tell by their wide eyes and open mouths. I could tell by the way they could look no where else but at Emily. They didn't have to know why she was crying, they didn't have to know exactly what was going on. The screams of grief and pain were understood universally, they were the same in every language, in every corner of the world. It was just understood. Something awful had happened to someone Emily loved, and it was a nightmare to witness this display of grief.

Two nurses shuffled up to us coming to a stop behind Emily. I looked up at them over Emily's shoulder. My heart immediately dropped. One of the nurses, the older one, was holding a syringe in front of her. I knew what was in that needle, I knew what they were thinking.

I began to panic. I tried to fight it down, I tried with all the strength I had. Emily needed me, she had no voice of her own in this moment. She had no one else to lean upon, no one else in the world to advocate for her. _I_ had to be her voice, _I_ had to state her case and stand up for her. I had to try, I just _had_ to try.

I knew I had no legal standing to speak for her, I knew my words would fall on deaf ears if I didn't have my sense about me. I gritted my teeth and willed myself to over come my own feelings of panic and my urge to run. I would _not_ cower this time, not _this_ time. This time I would fight, I would fight for Emily and I would fight for Angela. There was no one else. I would_ not_ back down. Emily's wails were tearing at the heart of me, ripping my mind and my soul to shreds. I wanted to cry, I wanted to break down right along with her, but she needed me. Emily needed my strength and my mind to be clear and sober. She couldn't afford for me to be weak, not now, not in this moment when her own strength had escaped her like a wraith in the night. If I faltered even for a second I would fail Emily _and_ fail her child. They _both_ needed me.

"Just let me try one more time...please!" I hissed at the nurses over Emily's shoulder.

Both of their eyes went a little wide. I imagine they had assumed I didn't know what the needle was for. They exchanged a brief glance with each other.

"Please," I pleaded.

"One more minute," the older nurse said.

I could tell right off the bat that one minute really meant _one _more minute for the older very stern looking nurse. She had the sharp eyes and determined expression of one who had been doing this for a very long time. There was probably very little that woman hadn't seen or experienced as a trauma nurse. She had the set jaw and stern expression of one who had heard the wail of grief far to many times in her life. She was no spring chicken, she would put an end to the screams one way or another and without so much as a slight hesitation.

The younger nurse however looked wild-eyed and panicked. She looked very very young actually. She might even have been doing a training rotation with the older nurse. The young one hadn't experienced many situations like this if any at all. I could tell by the way her eyes crinkled and her shoulders were tensed as she stared down at Emily. I saw her turn her head away slightly. It was paining her to witness this, her ears with ringing with the reality of what true grief could do to a person. She would not sleep well tonight, Emily's screams would follow her all the way home and into her dreams. If she had children, she was thinking of them too, the look on her face told me everything.

"Emily, EMILY!" I growled shaking the grief-stricken woman's shoulders roughly trying to knock some kind of sense back into her.

I was a futile effort, she just couldn't stop crying. I was growing more and more worried for her by the moment. Her breath was coming in painfully shallow unproductive sobs. Hyperventilation was extremely dangerous if allowed to continue for to long. Despite the rapidness of her breath, I knew her body wasn't getting enough oxygen. If she didn't calm down soon, and I mean very very soon, she would most likely faint due to an oxygen deprived brain. I looked up again at the needle. I felt my face wrinkle into a desperate frown. I hated to admit it, I hated to even think it, but it might be our only option. Emily couldn't go on like this, she couldn't have a psychotic break in front of so many people. I knew where she would end up if she did. That would be a disaster! Then Angela would have no one to speak for her, no one to hold her tiny hand or cradle her tiny body if she passed. I was terrified, but the needle was better than the alternative.

I looked at Emily sobbing hysterically on her knees one last painful second. My heart broke all over again. She was such a beautiful woman, stunning actually. Even now, in the condition she was in, she was still painfully beautiful. I hated to do this to her, but something had to be done and quickly. I drew Emily as tightly into me as I could manage, rocking back and forth in sync with her own body. I closed my eyes tightly steeling my nerves. I drew a deep breath and looked up at the older nurse. Our eyes met, she was waiting for me to admit the obvious. We stared at each other in mutual understanding. Our eyes communicated all the words that we left unsaid. I nodded my head once and closed my eyes again. I couldn't watch, I just waited, I waited for the screaming to stop and for the body in my arms to finally relax and breath deeply the oxygen it needed to survive. It didn't take long, the drug was impossible swift. Finally after thirty seconds the wails became softer, the rocking became slower, the muscles relaxed in her body and Emily fell heavily into my arms completely unconscious.

"We'll move her to a room and monitor her vitals," The older nurse said kindly.

I nodded my head slightly. I was fighting back tears of my own again. I had a lump in my throat that burned and hurt when I swallowed. I felt more guilt in that moment than I ever had in my life. But I had no other choice, the other option was unthinkable. Two orderlies came bustling in with a hospital bed in tow and lifted Emily's thin form easily onto the bed and covered her with a warm blanket. I stood and clasped Emily's hand gently kissing the back of her fingers as I looked down at her beautiful face. She almost looked peaceful despite the tear streaks and running mascara. I lifted the end of the blanket and wiped her face clean as gently as I could. I smiled down at her, one tear escaped each of my eyes as I gazed upon the woman that had so quickly captured my heart. I batted my lashes furiously.

"We have to take her back now Miss. Would you like to come with her? It will be easier for her when she wakes up to see a familiar face. She won't remember what happened or how she got there. Seeing you will lessen the blow and hopefully she won't fall apart again and have to be resedated." The older nurse asked me.

"No, I have to stay and speak to the Doctors about Angela," I sighed heavily.

I wanted to go with Emily, more than anything I didn't want to leave her. But I couldn't leave her child without an advocate.

"See that she is put into a private room and assign a private care nurse to her," I said in the most commanding voice I could muster under so much stress.

The older nurse looked at me quizzically.

"This patient has no health insurance, she can't afford..."

"...her care and Angela's will be covered by the Isles foundation of Medical Research and Family Assistance." I cut in.

"See that she receives the best care," I looked at the nurse levelly.

"And you are...?" She asked

"Dr. Maura Isles," I stated strongly.

I enjoyed the way the expressions of everyone around me changed immediately.

They knew who I was, this hospital received millions of dollars a year through my foundation. Even the older nurses face changed into something revealing awe and respect.

"Of course Dr. Isles...we'll see to it right away."

I nodded my thanks.

"Tell the Doctor I'd like to see the x-rays myself and I want a full report of Angela's diagnosis and prognosis. As of this moment, until Emily recovers herself, I am Angela's power of attorney."

The older nurse looked at me strangely.

"This woman's name is Jane...Jane Clementine Rizzoli." the nurse said.

I stumbled for a moment. I could have kicked myself. I forgot Emily wasn't her real name. Dammit! I recovered quickly...

"...of course. Emily is just a nick name I have for her!" I said casually.

It wasn't a lie, thank God or I would have broken out into hives and started hyperventilating myself. No one needed that headache on top of everything else. I prided myself for thinking so quickly. Normally I would have stuttered and stumbled and made a fool of myself. But not this time...not _this_ time.

"Yes ma'am...I'll tell the Doctor." The older nurse said.

I leaned down and kissed _Jane_ lightly on the fore head. I let my lips linger there for several moments. The warmth of her soft skin beneath my lips sent sparks throughout my entire body. I smiled through the unfallen tears behind my eyes. I ran my thumb over Jane's cheek several times studying her beautiful face. She had done something to my heart. Something I couldn't explain, but I felt a tenderness and a compassion inside of me that I'd never experienced before. It was far beyond my understanding, but I knew I could not fail her. Failing..._Jane_...would be like failing her child and myself. I kissed her lightly one more quick time before the nurses rolled her away and out of my sight. I watched her bed turn the corner and sighed with a heavy heart.

"_Jesus Christ"_ I swore to myself when I was finally left standing alone.

I rubbed my forehead with my fingers willing the raging headache in my mind to go the hell away. I didn't have time to be crippled by my own pain. I turned around and noticed everyone in the waiting room was staring at me with wide eyes and gaping jaws. There was whispering everywhere. I felt a surge of panic run through me. Memories of so many times in my past of facing down sniggers and stares just like these played through my mind. I felt my mouth dry out and my palms begin to sweat. I thought of running, that was what I always did. I ran away, away from the stares, away from the whispers. I always ran to a dark corner of my mind and of a building trying to hide, trying to get away. But I couldn't do that this time...not_ this_ time. I remembered the words I spoke to Emily...I mean _Jane_ early in the evening.

"_Character is what is built in the face of great adversity, strength is what is found to overcome your challenges, love is felt most keenly after suffering tremendous pain_."

I steeled my nerves. I formed my sweaty palms into fist and set my jaw. It was time I stood by my words, it was time I stopped running. It was time I found my own strength and built true character. I would not run...not _this_ time.

"Please forgive the disturbance. I apologize for that. It won't happen again," I said with a voice full of a strength I'd never had before.

I almost smiled as I walked toward the doors of the waiting room. I had calls to make.

The first number I dialed was that of my attorney. It was after midnight, but he still answered after the third ring. I sighed gratefully when I heard his deep voice pick up on the line.

"Dr. Isles?" James asked me with a faint voice heavy with sleep.

"I'm sorry to wake you James but I need you _now_, like _right_ now at NYU Memorial Hospital." I said in a hurried clipped speech.

"W-What's going on are you _hurt_?" he asked me.

I could tell he was immediately concerned.

"James it's a friend of mine, I'll explain everything later but I need you to draft Power of Attorney papers for me over a woman named Jane Clementine Rizzolli. It has to be done _now_ James, it can't wait until morning. Lives could depend on this." I said.

"WHAT? What the hell is going on? Who is Jane Clementine Rizzolli?" He asked me in a panicked voice.

"Never mind that...do it now James and bring the papers to me. Jane isn't conscious at the moment and we're going to have to force this through without her signature. Do whatever it takes, call whatever Judges you know and get this done and get down to the hospital as soon as possible." I pleaded, commanded, begged.

"Ok Maura, but you have to tell me..."

"James...just do it _now_!" I spat and hung up the phone immediately.

I didn't have time to banter with him on details. James was the best civil attorney in the state and had worked for my family for years. I trusted him, he was discreet and honest. He better have been with as much as he charged.

The next call I made was to Addison Montgomery. She was one of the greatest pediatric surgeons in the country, perhaps even the world. I'd met her several times at conferences and worked with her briefly at a fellowship we shared in California. I knew she had a practice in New York now and I knew she would come if I called her. I didn't know or trust any of the Doctors here. I needed the best for Angela. I didn't like the panicked almost defeated look I'd seen in the eyes of Dr. Jenkins earlier. I needed a Titan, I needed a fearless beast of a doctor and _that_ was Addison Montgomery.

Addison also picked up on the third ring.

"Hello?" her clear beautiful voice sounded in my ear.

My heart soared hearing her speak. I thanked every God under the sun that she answered and didn't sound like she was sleeping.

"Addison, it's Dr. Isles...I need your help!" I said desperately into the phone.

"What's going on?" she asked me curiously.

"The child of a friend of mine... a female patient approximately one year old is in serious trouble. She swallowed a button battery earlier this evening, about an hour ago and it doesn't look good. I know surgery will be necessary, by this time the damage to her esophagus and possibly her lungs is quite severe. I don't trust anyone but you Addison. I need your help." I pleaded into the phone.

I could feel tears behind my eyes again when I thought of Angela.

Button batteries were extremely dangerous to children if swallowed, sometimes even fatal if not diagnosed quickly and inexperienced surgeons failed on the operating table.

"Where are you?" Addison's voice sounded worried but not panicked. I could hear her shuffling around, it sounded like she was moving quickly.

"NYU Memorial Hospital."

"I'm on the outskirts of town, it will take me at least forty-five minutes to get there," Addison said breathlessly into the phone " But I'm on my way. Who's the attending Doctor assigned to the case?"

I thought hard for a moment closing my eyes trying to remember. I hadn't been able to register a lot of information over Jane's screaming and me trying to comfort her. My mind was full of so much panic small details were lost on me.

"Jenkins...Dr. Jenkins," I finally shot out when I remember the man's damn name.

I remembered his panicked eyes more than anything else though. They were haunting me.

"Oh!...Oh boy," Addison said.

I could hear worry in her voice. I began to panic even more. Addison was never worried.

"What...what is it?" I asked desperately.

"Nothing...nothing...where is the child now?" Addison asked.

I thought I heard the roar of an engine starting. I thanked the God's that Addison moved swiftly.

"In radiology, I'm standing here waiting for the results now."

"They won't tell you anything if you aren't a family member," Addison said gently.

I knew she could tell I was worried, but she also knew it was her responsibility to inform me of the facts. She was right and I knew it, but that's why I called her and James. I wasn't going to let pesky things like protocol kill Jane's baby.

"No...but if you claim the patient _you_ can talk to me...off the record of course"

"No...actually I can't...not without the presence of another family member or with signed documentation from both you _and_ a family member saying that you have the right to receive information on the child's condition and make decision on their behalf."

"I'm working on that, my family's attorney is on his way now. We're trying to work something out."

"Where is the child's family?" Addison asked curiously.

I sighed heavily thinking of Jane passed out under heavy sedation all alone in a cold loveless hospital bed. I hoped her dreams were more pleasant than her reality.

"She's...she's been sedated. There is no other family. Jane could be out for hours and the child doesn't have that kind of time. Serious decisions will have to be made on how to treat this and Angela needs an advocate. That has to be you until I can force something through the system. We'll deal with the fallout later...but Addison...I'm not going to let this kid die." I said the last with a matter of fact tone that brokered no argument.

I could hear Addison sigh.

"I'm going to call the hospital and speak to the doctor myself. I've met him before he...let me just call him." Addison said changing the flow of her conversation quickly.

This made me very nervous. What was she not telling me about Dr. Jenkins.

"Is there something I should know?" I asked feeling panic rise in my core.

"If the battery has been in that child over an hour she will absolutely need surgery, major surgery. I'll be there as fast as I can but do NOT let anyone cut into her. I'm coming Maura as fast as I can but I have to go now...I gotta figure this out. I'll call you after I speak to the doctors." Addison said sincerely.

I smiled a little. I knew she would come through for me.

"Of course. I'll be waiting." I said thankfully.

"Oh and Addison...thank you so much!" I choked on a sob.

"I got you kid," Addison said, then the line went dead.

I made one more call to the president of my Foundation. I ordered her to draft the paperwork of our intent to cover all of Jane's and Angela's medical cost and to have the bills sent directly to the foundation. I asked her to fax the document to the hospital's administration office immediately. Jessica didn't ask any questions, she just did as she was told. I was grateful to her.

When all the calls were made and I was standing outside the hospital alone in the darkness I finally let myself breath properly. This was the craziest night of my life.

When I first walked into my hotels' bar earlier that evening and saw Jane I was struck speechless. Carmelite showed me her picture before, but the picture did nothing, absolutely nothing, to capture the beauty of Jane Rizzolli in real life. The woman was...God she was amazing. I was enchanted by her immediately. She was so strong, even though she didn't know it. She was charming when she wanted to be, and cold as night when the mood was on her. She was biting and sarcastic, mean sometimes and foul-mouthed. There was a fire in that woman that drove me wild, but a darkness that made my blood run cold. I had never been so happy as I was chatting with her on the rooftop garden. Her smile was...God it was gorgeous, her olive skin glowed like the late evening sun in the candle light. Her onyx eyes made my heart soar when they were excited, and her body...Jesus she was gorgeous.

I thought many things of Jane as I spoke with her at my hotel. By the time we finally sat down to dinner I had a head full of ideas of where I wanted our relationship...if that's what you wanted to call it...to go. But I could never have anticipated this situation we were in at the moment. This was beyond anything I could have imagined. This was...this was _hell_.

I suddenly remembered poor little Suzie, Jane's teenage baby sitter, sitting back in the hospital lobby all alone. She too had been hysterical when we rushed into the hospital. I hadn't had the time to comfort her, I was to busy with Jane and the Doctor and nurses. I sighed. I gathered my nerves and ran back into the hospital.

I found Suzie sitting alone in a corner of the waiting room. She was sobbing quietly to herself. Her knees were tucked into her chest and her arms were wrapped around them tightly. Her bright red hair was messy and she looked half her age in sponge Bob pajamas and bright yellow slippers. I sighed again.

"_Good Grief"_ I thought to myself as I made my way over to her.

"Suzie, sweet heart are your parents coming to pick you up?" I asked her kindly.

I even gave her my best smile. She looked up at me with wide sea green eyes and a freckle filled face. She would have been adorable if she wasn't so grief-stricken.

"My parents don't have a car, and I forgot my bus pass. I don't even think they know I'm here." She said sobbing again into her knees.

I sighed heavily again.

"Please don't cry, the best Doctors in the world are working on Angela," I tried to reassure her.

Suzie only cried harder.

"It's all my fault, I should have been watching her." The young girl wailed.

"Honey, small children just do things like this sometimes. It's no one's fault, you couldn't have anticipated this. You didn't do anything wrong. In fact...you a hero today Suzie." I said resting a hand on her knee.

Suzie looked up at me in wonder.

"What?" she asked

"Oh yes, you saved Angela's life. You did everything I told you and now Angela is in the care of those that can save her. You're a very very brave girl. You should be proud of yourself." I smiled at her warmly again.

I could tell she wanted to believe me, but she still had her doubts.

"Is Angela going to die?" she asked me quietly.

I didn't speak for a moment. I couldn't lie but I couldn't break this girls heart.

"We are doing everything we can, and I mean _everything_. If any child in her situation has a chance to survive something like this...its Angela. Don't you waste your time worrying, Angela has very powerful people in her corner." I said sincerely.

Suzie smiled at me.

"I'm going to call my driver to take you home, his name is Percy and he drives a black Mercedes Benz. He'll be here in a matter of minutes so look out for him ok. Don't leave with anybody but him. Ask to see his ID before you get into his car. It will read Percy Parker! Tell him Dr. Maura Isles said for him to take you home."

"Are you Jane's girlfriend?" Suzie asked me cocking her head to the side and smiling at me.

I smiled back.

"I'm sure we'll meet again. Go home and get some rest little hero," I said standing and offering my hand for Suzie to shake which she did politely.

Her grin really was adorable. If I was able to have children, I would want them to look just like her. I winked at her and walked toward the doors leading to the patient area. I had to get to Jane.

I asked to be led back to Jane's room and was glad when I found it to be nice and very private. Jane was all hooked up to the monitors and a nurse was leaning over her inserting her IV.

I didn't disturb the nurse, I just walked around the other side of the bed dragging a free chair right next to Jane's bed taking her hand and sitting down. She did look peaceful. Watching her sleeping as she was, I became less guilty about the fact that I'd let the nurse sedate her. This was...this was a mercy to her. Had she remained conscious she would be driving herself crazy in a world of despair and agony. She very likely would have ended up on the fourth floor psychiatric ward if the Doctor came back with bad news again. Yes...this was a kindness. I hoped she slept through the rest of the trauma, I hoped she would awake from her dream state to a whole new world full of better news and better prospects.

I brought her fingers to my lips and kissed them softly. Her skin smelled sweet, like lavender. I smiled down at Jane's beautiful face. I felt sympathy and longing pour out of myself and wash over her. In a matter of hours this woman had become precious to me. I would never let her go, not ever. She had touched me in a way I didn't know was possible. She had found a part of me I didn't know existed. That part belonged to her now. She had tattooed her name on it and claimed it as her own. I gave it to her freely, she deserved it. She found a diamond in the rough inside of me and I was grateful for it. I would _never_ let her go.

I looked up at the monitors. I became troubled.

"Her heart rate is far to rapid!" I told the nurse.

The nurse looked up at me. It was a stick thin balding man. I didn't care for male nurses. I always felt they lacked the maternal instinct necessary to do their jobs with the concern of certain details that most women possessed naturally. Nursing was just as much about the mental health of the patients as it was about vital signs and administering drugs.

"She's suffered a shock. I'm administering a steady flow of a mild sedative to keep her under for a while. It will lower her heart rate soon. She's also suffering from a bit of malnutrition and has a vitamin D and potassium deficiency. We discovered all that when we ran her blood panels. Everyone is so worried about her. It's awful what's going on with her child. I can't say the same thing wouldn't happen to me if it were one of my children. I can't even imagine. We're going to keep her comfortable until her vitals stabilize and it's safe to bring her out of this. For now though...for now it's best if she sleeps." the nurse said.

I instantly fell in love with him. I was wrong, he was a great nurse.

"What's your name?" I asked softly.

"Mike...just call me Mike. I'll be working with Jane and just Jane until she pulls out of this." he said kindly smiling at me.

I smiled back.

"I have to run and get more fluids for Jane, she needs potassium and some other vitamins in her drip. I'll be right back...do you need anything yourself?" he asked.

"No...thank you!" I said.

Mike smiled again and shuffled from the room in a brisk flurry of hurried motion.

I didn't have time to reflect on my thoughts because my cell phone rang. I grabbed up my purse quickly answering before I even looked to see who it was.

"Hello?"

"Maura...it's Addison. I spoke to the Doctors. I've claimed the patient, but I don't know anything until I see the x-rays. They are prepping Angela for surgery right now though...I don't know any more than that. I guess your lawyer faxed over some papers claiming you as Jane's medical proxy and by extension, since Jane is incapacitated, you also speak for Angela. There's still more paperwork that has to be filed but your lawyer will explain that to you. The hospital won't argue with you over it only because of who you are. They'll be in to talk to you shortly about the x-rays, I'll be there soon." Addison said in a flutter of hastily spoken words.

I smiled. Addison was indeed on the ball.

"I'll see you when you get here...thank you so much again Addison."

"This is what doctors do Maura, I'll see you soon!" she said and hung up.

It was only moments before Dr. Jenkins and that older nurse from earlier entered the room, Mike was right behind them with a cart full of IV fluids.

I perked up immediately. I felt a wave of adrenaline surge through me. The doctor was holding x-rays in his hands. I stood quickly and snatched them from his hands unceremoniously holding them up to the light.

My heart dropped immediately. I felt bile rising into the back of my throat.

"Oh dear God!" I exclaimed before I could stop myself.

I could see the button battery as clear as day lodged in Angela's tiny esophagus. There was major tissue damage to the entire esophagus. Button batteries, if lodged in the esophagus, reacted to the saliva in the body and caused an electric current that burned into the tissues of the body causing catastrophic damage. If left untreated, the person would surely die a slow and agonizing death. From the looks of the x-ray's Angela was indeed in a 'Extremely Critical' condition.

I felt my eyes begin to water. I'd never even laid eyes on the child but I felt a love and a desperation I'd never felt before. This was serious, very very serious. The doctor and the nurse were quiet while I studied the x-rays. They knew I knew exactly what I was looking at. They knew I could formulate for myself the severity of the situation. They were looking everywhere but at me as I studied the x-rays. Perhaps it was a relief to them that they didn't have to explain what was going on with Angela. I forced down the vomit trying to escape my body.

"In your medical opinion Doctor Jenkins, what are Angela's chances of recovering from this?" I asked softly. I couldn't find enough breath to speak with any real confidence. I knew what I was seeing in those x-rays.

Dr. Jenkins didn't speak for a moment. I didn't dare look at him. I didn't care to see the doubt in his eyes.

"Angela is being prepared for surgery as we speak. Dr. Addison Montgomery has claimed lead on this case, I will only be assisting. I will defer any opinion of mine until she arrives. All I can say is...this is critical." His voice was serious and suspiciously quiet.

I handed the x-rays back to the Doctor without meeting his eyes. I couldn't look at them anymore. I didn't care what they showed, I didn't care what his opinion was. Nothing was certain until the Doctors got inside the body. I trusted Addison, she was the best after all. If anyone could bring Angela back from the brink of death, it would be her.

Mike was silent as a mouse as he hooked up Jane's IV fluids. He never looked our way. The older nurse standing with the Doctor had a pained, forced smile of reassurance and sympathy on her face. I didn't care to see that either. I wanted no one's sympathy. I wanted action. I would not give up, I would _not_ resign Angela into the cruel arms of death. I would _not_ think of tiny coffins and black veils. I wrapped my heart with all the strength I could find and willed myself to be strong, to be strong and to hope. I would _not_ give up.

Like an angel from heaven Addison Montgomery rushed into the room already dressed in scrubs and wearing a surgical cap. Her face said she meant business. We didn't speak, we only exchanged quick smiles before Addison was studying the x-rays herself. Her face never changed, she showed not one sign of fear or panic. She didn't look the least bit hopeless or forlorn or intimidated. I was beyond grateful for that.

"Is Angela prepared for surgery now?" was all Addison said.

"Yes Doctor, she's being put under as we speak," Dr. Jenkins said timidly.

"Let's not waste time," Addison said handing him the x-rays again.

Addison looked right at me now. Her green eyes burned with a fierce determination. Her fire red hair only added to her powerful air of confidence.

"We'll be in surgery several hours. The condition is serious but I can save her. I have to go now though I can't wait any longer," She said sternly eyeing me with an overpowering seriousness.

"Go!" was all I said.

I sat next to Jane's bed holding her hand. I spoke no words, I cared for no one's conversation. The seconds seemed endless, like one eternity after another piled on top of each other dragging on painfully slowly. Mike was quiet as her breezed in and out of the room checking Jane's vitals, taking her temperature and blood pressure periodically. Every now and then he would smile at me. I tried to return the smile as warmly as possible. I knew I was failing. It was taking all my strength to be strong for Jane.

Over an hour later James stalked into the room. He was dressed as flawlessly as ever in a sharp blue pinstriped suit with a pressed white shirt and nice matching tie. Even dressed as he was he still looked haggard and worn down. I only imagined what hell he'd been going through over the last couple of hours trying to comply with my demands. This sort of thing was unprecedented. Forcing through a power of attorney after a person was already incapacitated was nearly impossible. But James was a master of the loophole. I trusted him.

"Well, I did it." he sighed in a tired weary voice.

"How?" I asked

James handed me a stack of paperwork.

"I had Jessica send me over the forms for hardship assistance that your foundation gives to needy families. I took the liberty of calling an old detective friend of mine who found out all of Miss Rizzolli's information. I won't tell you how he did all that. I filled out everything I could. I had to date everything as if it were yesterday though...that needs to stay between us. I had to call Judge Ellis and make a case that since the financial responsibility of Jane and Angela's medical care fell to your foundation that by extension the responsibility fell to you personally. Since the foundation is reputable and successful, not only in assisting in financially aiding those in need, but also providing expert medical doctors and specialist for extreme cases, I said that since Jane is incapacitated and that you two were long time friends, you deserved to take over the power of attorney personally through the resources of your foundation." James said exasperated by his ordeal.

I could tell it had taken a lot of imagination and string pulling to push this one through. I smiled. I knew there would be a ridiculous bill waiting for me in my inbox in a few days. He was worth every penny.

"It was a hard sell. But I did it. The judge signed off on everything. It's only temporary though until the Doctor says Jane is mentally capable to resume her own care and Angela's. After that you guys have to do this thing the right way in order for it to hold." James said running his hand through his long dark locks.

I didn't bother reading everything. I signed where I should and handed the papers back to him. Normally I wouldn't have done that, but I trusted Jessica and James. I hired them for a reason, they knew exactly what they were doing.

"James thank you," I said sincerely.

"I'll pay you double your fee for your trouble," I assured him.

"You'll pay me_ triple_ my fee for my trouble," he grimaced narrowing his eyes at me. "This sort of shit don't come cheap,"

I only smiled.

"Of course," I said calmly.

"Good, well, I've got to get these back to the judge so he can get them on file. Do you need me to come back when I'm finished?"

"No James, go home and be with your family." I said graciously.

James gave me his winning grin and left without another word.

I looked down at Jane again after he had gone. She still looked so peaceful. Her heart rate I noticed had stabilized and her breathing was even and steady. I kissed her hand again tenderly and sighed. I sat holding her hand for eons longer thinking so many odd thoughts when Addison and Dr. Jenkins finally returned. They both looked extremely tired but they were each wearing triumphant if not weary smiles.

My heart soared. I gripped Jane's hand tightly in my own.

"So?" I asked hopefully

Addison's smile widened.

"We were able to extract the battery using a laparoscopic procedure without having to cut Angela open. It's a new technique I just learned and I tweaked it a little bit but it worked. There is some damage to her lungs, but we got the battery out in enough time that the damage won't be lasting. She will heal. Angela does have a tracheotomy and it will have to stay in until her esophagus heals. She'll remain in the ICU for a few days until she stabilizes and the risk of post op infection lessens. It will be a couple of weeks at least before she's strong enough to go home. She has a feeding tube now because she can't swallow but we didn't do a catheter, she's too young for that. The nurses can just change her diapers." Addison looked over at the sleeping Jane and for the first time she looked worried.

"It's going to be hard to see Angela in the state that she's in. She's hooked up to everything under the sun and has a machine breathing for her. It...it will be hard for the mother." Addison said looking back at me again.

There was sympathy in her eyes.

"I know, Jane is...she's strong. She'll get through it." I stated with all the confidence I could manage.

Addison didn't seem convinced. I didn't blame her, I'm sure she knew why Jane was lying on that hospital bed unconscious.

"You said she had no other support system. This is going to be a lot for one person to handle." Addison said truthfully.

I sighed. She was right.

"I'll be here as much as I can, she'll get through it."

Addison smiled at me again.

"I'm going to hang a round a couple more hours to make sure there aren't any complications. I'll be staying in the city the next several days in case I need to rush back. The Doctors here know to call me if anything happens, and you have my number. Call me if you need _anything_!"

I stood and pulled Addison into a tight grateful hug. I felt tears pouring out of my eyes. I squeezed her and cried all over her shoulder. Addison seemed shocked at first, then she wrapped her long arms around me and hugged me back.

"You're a great friend Maura, it's my pleasure to help you." She said kindly.

It was a few moments longer before I managed to rein in my tears and gather myself again.

"Can I see Angela?" I asked releasing Addison from my grasp.

"She's in recovery, it will be several hours before she comes too. They won't let you hold her even then, she's in a deep incubation chamber and will be for a few days. But you'll be able to see her before mid morning." Addison smiled warmly at me.

I could not have been happier to hear it.

I sat with Jane for another hour before Mike pulled her from her sleep. It took several long minutes before Jane was coherent enough to realize where she was. When she did she sat up with a start, panic all over her face. Her eyes locked to mine. She seemed confused, like she was trying to remember who I was. I noticed when she did remember finally. Dread and terror covered her face.

"Angela?" she asked me. Her voice was trembling in nervous fear.

I smiled.

"She's going to be fine!" I said excitedly.

Jane covered her mouth and began to cry. It took forever to explain everything that had happened. Jane looked so ashamed that she had behaved the way she did when I told her she had to be sedated. I refused to let her be embarrassed. I coaxed her with sweet words instead reminding her that her baby was going to be just fine. I left out the part about the long recovery and the condition Angela was in at the moment. I'd let Jane regain her strength for a while longer before I told her all of that. Eventually Jane relaxed enough to lean back on the bed and she sighed, releasing all the worry and fear from her body.

"I don't know how I'm going to pay for all of this," she said sadly.

I saw tears behind her eyes again.

"It's been taken care of already," I said brushing loose strands of her long black locks from her face.

Jane looked at me like she was seeing a ghost.

"HOW!" she exclaimed.

"It was covered by a private foundation that specializes in assisting low-income families with emergency medical care." was all I said.

The smile that covered Jane's face was breathtaking. Tears of joy were rolling down her face this time. I felt a few tears of my own escape my eyes. My heart swelled seeing the relief on Jane's face.

"Maybe there is mercy for whores." Jane said through her tears.

My heart broke.

"You're not a whore." I said softly.

Jane rolled her eyes and looked at me, she was still smiling though.

"Yes I am."

I sighed, I'd argue that point later. For now I was just...I was exhausted and thrilled and excited. I took my seat next to Jane and we talked for a long while about many things. It was a pleasant conversation. I never took my eyes off her. I was just so happy to see her alive and happy and knowing that her baby was also alive and well. This was the most insane night of my life.

"I'm starving," Jane exclaimed as the first rays of sunlight crept through the hospital window. "When's the breakfast tray getting here?" She asked me grumpily.

I giggled remembering Jane's voracious appetite.

"What would you like to eat Jane? I'll get you anything you want." I said kissing the back of Jane's hand again.

She'd let me hold her hand all night, never once trying to take it back. Jane looked at me and smiled wickedly.

"You know my real name?" She asked, her eyebrows arched in wonder.

I only smiled.

"Yes Jane,"

"And I can have anything I want for breakfast?"

"Yes Jane,"

"I want..."

"...Excuse me, is there a Miss Jane Rizzolli in this room?" A woman asked appearing in the doorway.

She was a stout homely looking woman in her upper middle-aged years. She was wearing a rather worn looking skirt suit that didn't fit her properly and was burdened with a briefcase stuffed full of files. Her face looked pinched and her eyes looked strained. She had the weary looked of someone often over-worked and under-rested.

"Yes...that's me." Jane said timidly.

"My name is Claire Haverty, I'm with the Department of Children's Services of the state of New York." the woman said staring right at Jane.

Jane's face went blank and white as a sheet.

"I'm here to investigate a report of child neglect that resulted in the serious injury of an infant," The woman said.

"_Oh Shit_" I thought to myself.

I turned back to look at Jane. I thought we might have to sedate her all over again.


	4. Truth and Consequence

**A/N: OMG almost a hundred follows...WHAT! Anyway...this one is also long as all hell. This is the one where everything goes straight up crazy! It's a roller coaster ride so...strap in. I'd love to know what your ideas are about where I take it from here...sooo...keep the reviews coming, they make the chapters come faster! I leave it open to many options at the end of this one, try to think outside the box though, I don't like to write inside the box of normal Rizzle fan fiction. Anyway...once and again...here we freaking go!**

**Maura**

I held Jane closely in my arms. It had been several minutes since that awful social worker walked into the room with her piercing eyes and accusing frown crushing Jane's spirit all over again. I refused to look over at the woman, I couldn't stand the sight of her. As soon as she stated her purpose for her sudden visit I had instantly become filled with fury and at the same time, I was filled with worry. This was not good, it was just _not_ good. Jane was in far to fragile a state to be hit so suddenly and so unceremoniously with this awful and potentially dangerous situation. I did not cry however, I had not even the slightest desire or urge to cry. I was furious. After all I'd done, after all the strings I'd pulled, after all the long hours of stress and terror and finally thinking everything was going to be ok...now_ this_!

I gritted my teeth and hid my face in the thick veil of Jane's beautiful long dark locks. I did not want anyone to see how angry I was, especially not that awful woman, and even more so Jane. This was a nightmare. I thought of all the people Jane and I interacted with since leaving the hotel and arriving at the hospital all those hours ago. Who could have made such a call to the Department of Child Services? Who was that callous, who was that heartless, who was that damned nosey that they felt the need to interfere in the affairs of a traumatized woman already on the brink of her sanity? What was this person's motive, what where they trying to prove, what was it they thought they knew of Jane and her situation that they could make such a hasty judgement call and send both Jane and her very sick baby into a whirlwind with the legal system? It had to be someone in this hospital right? But who?

I wanted to run out of the room. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs and demand the culprit to name themselves. I wanted to march that person right in front of Jane crying in this hospital bed and demand that they explain themselves. But I knew already that would be futile, whoever this person was...they were a coward. They would never admit openly to what they had done, and they would certainly not have the strength to look Jane in her face and explain why they had put her custody of her child into jeopardy. I was furious, but I was also afraid.

Jane was still crying, I was terrified that she would have to be sedated again..._again!_ Such a situation, I knew, would be like putting a nail in the coffin of whatever suspicions this Claire woman had. I knew the social worker was watching Jane. I knew she was making many mental notes in her mind of Jane's fragile vulnerability. Could she be thinking that Jane seemed unstable? Could she be thinking that Jane seemed overly emotional and vulnerable? Could she be wondering how such a sobbing wailing mess could ever care for a child? What exactly had she been told? What exactly was in this little report of hers about what happened to Angela? Yes I was worried. There were so many unknowns, worse there were so few options.

Jane _had_ to comply with the state. It was mandatory when such accusations of neglect or abuse were made against a mother or father or any care giver that the person or people under investigation comply with a rigorous, invasive, often belittling and offensive investigation.

Jane just had to stop crying, and without the drugs. If she broke down any further in front of this woman, and or, God forbid had to be sent to the fourth floor for a psychiatric evaluation, Jane could surely kiss her custody goodby.

I nuzzled my lips into Jane's ear. She smelled so good, even still after hours of lying unconscious in a hospital bed, she still smelled like heaven. My head swam momentarily with pleasant thoughts. But only for a moment.

"Sweetheart listen to me," I whispered softly in Jane's ear.

"You have to calm down Jane you _have_ too. I _know_ this is awful, I _know_ how afraid you are, but you _cannot_ let this woman witness you break down. I know you know I'm right." I cooed to Jane.

I felt her hand grasp my arm and squeeze lightly. She was holding onto me for dear life. Her grip was pleading, begging, grasping for my strength. Whether it was conscious or subconsciously, somewhere in Jane's mind I knew she realized that she needed me. I hadn't told her everything I'd done for her already. I hadn't mentioned all the calls I made, or all the strings I pulled. I hadn't mentioned it was _me_ that hired the best Doctor in the country to operate on her child. I hadn't told her it was _my_ foundation that was paying for Angela's care and hers. I hadn't told her that I had taken temporary Power of Attorney over her affairs.

The last fact was now something I was terrified to reveal. The fallout from that could be devastating. If the social worker were to know that I, as a stranger, had seen the need to take over Jane's responsibility of her child because she had become mentally incapable of doing so herself, oh goodness I didn't even want to think about it.

Jane's sobs lessened, but they didn't stop completely. As least she wasn't hyperventilating anymore. Thank goodness for small mercies. Still though the crying had to stop. She had to be strong now, she just _had_ to be. I decided to keep working on her. I was grateful that Jane seemed to be responding to the sound of my voice.

"Honey, there is a time for tears, but it's not _this_ time. You have to think about what's best for your baby. If you keep on like this you will be failing her. Don't let them see you like this, don't give them _any_ reasons to doubt you. Find your strength for Angela if you can't do it for yourself!" I pleaded softly into Jane's ear.

I felt Jane actively trying to pull herself together. Her grip on my arm tightened. She pulled back and looked me right in my eyes. Jane's own eyes were wide and panic-stricken behind many tears. She looked terrified. This was her worst night mare...this and everything else that had happened over the last many hours. I gave her my most reassuring smile. I didn't want any of my own worry or fury to show on my face. Jane had to be strong for Angela, and I had to be strong for both of them. My own emotions I could deal with later.

I studied Jane's beautiful face for a few moments, she was still as pretty as an angel. It was hard not to smile when looking at her, she just made me feel...calm.

"I'm so afraid, what if they take my baby?" Jane whispered to me earnestly.

She looked so frightened. My heart broke...again!

I willed myself to find comforting words for her. I would not lay out all the possibilities of why her fears might just happen. Jane did not need to hear those things. Yet in still, I could not lie.

"Honey, I'm going to be right here. We'll get through this. I promise, I promise I'll do everything I can to help you. I _promise_ you this!" I whispered tenderly into her panic filled face.

Our lips were inches from each other as we spoke. I could feel the energy rolling off of Jane and my body reacted to her instantly. I wanted to brush my lips against hers, I wanted to seal my promise with a kiss. I wanted to take her lips into my mouth and kiss her with all the passion and all the desire she sent flooding through me. I wanted to wrap my hands around her face and slide my tongue between her lips and taste her sweetness for myself. I wanted to hear her moan softly against my lips, I wanted to feel her hands wrap in my hair and pull me closer to her. I wanted to whisper sweet sexy words in her ear instead of desperate pleas of comfort and encouragement. I wanted so many things. But what I wanted didn't matter, at least not that particular want. What I wanted most was for Jane to want me as I did her, and I knew that would never happen until she was freed of the burden that plagued her mind.

Jane's eyes searched me, she didn't speak for many long moments. Her tears had dried but her face was still worried. I could tell she wanted to believe me, I could tell she wanted to trust me. But years of loneliness and self-abuse had hardened her heart with thick callousness to protect her. I didn't blame her, the world was a cold, dark, cruel place. If I hadn't known that before this morning, I certainly knew it now.

"Why are you _doing_ all this for me?" Jane whispered against my lips.

This was the second or third time she'd asked me that same question since we met. This time though, the answer was different.

"Because Jane... because you are precious to me." I said looking right into her eyes without flinching or even blinking.

I needed her to understand it, I needed her to believe me. I knew it was crazy...I was no fool after all. I knew what I was saying and what I was thinking was crazy. We'd only met twelve hours ago, and most of those hours had been spent in this damn hospital. Even so...the truth could not be denied, and I couldn't lie anyway.

"You lie!" Jane said. Even still she smiled at me. It was the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen.

She set my heart on fire.

"No sweetheart, I can't lie remember!" I said winking at her.

Jane's smile widened a little. If I wasn't mistaken I thought I saw her eyes run down my face and linger at my lips a little bit. It was a quick glance, but I thought I saw some sort of lust in her eyes, just briefly though. The horrible woman interrupted us again.

"Excuse me, I have some questions to ask you Miss Rizzolli," the woman said in her husky voice.

I rolled my eyes, I gave Jane one quick reassuring grin before releasing her from my arms and standing up straight beside her bed. I tried not to look at the social worker with all the hate I felt for her. I tried to remind myself that she was only doing her job, she hadn't been the one who reported abuse. That crown belonged to someone else. Someone who would regret it when I found out who they were. I was surprised when I felt Jane's hand reach for mine. I looked down at her and smiled when I saw she was looking at me with those huge dark eyes of hers, they were pleading for my strength. I took her hand without a word and squeezed lightly. She could have all the strength I had to offer. I decided to take the lead.

"Please, won't you sit down," I asked the woman motioning to the chair on the other side of Jane's bed that I had sat in for so many hours worried like hell my efforts to save Jane's baby would be futile.

The woman looked at me curiously and then shuffled over to the chair. She removed her brief case from her shoulder, it looked impossibly heavy stuffed with all those files. It landed with a thump on the floor and the woman sat down in the chair with a grateful exhalation of breath.

It couldn't have been past six thirty in the morning. It was far to early for such visits to be made. This woman must have been roused from her sleep and ordered to come here immediately to investigate this claim. I thought again of the person whose life I would make miserable for as long as I drew breath on this earth. What the hell had they said to incite so much excitement and worry at the department of Child Services that they called someone from their sleep to investigate. This was just...this was unprecedented.

The woman thumbed through the file on her lap.

"So, Miss Rizzolli...where is your current place of employment?" The woman asked pulling a pen from her brief case and clicking the end with her thumb with a resounding snap.

"Ummm, well...I haven't worked for a while actually," Jane said.

Jane's voice was so meek and timid. Her face looked like a child's would if they were caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

"I see," the woman said making some scribbles in the file laid out on her lap.

"How long exactly since you've worked?" she asked.

Her eyes never left her file. She didn't even have the respect for Jane to look her in her eye. I felt myself shuffling impatiently beside Jane. I wish I hadn't been consumed with so many unpleasant thoughts of this woman and whoever made that call or I would have thought to get on the ball immediately. I wasn't thinking that clearly though, fury and other emotions were winning out over my logic.

I felt Jane's hand begin to sweat furiously in my own.

"Five months." Jane nearly whispered.

Jane's eyes left the social workers face and stared down instead at the blanket covering her own legs. Her expression had gone from one of panic to one of defeat. Her eyes looked hollow and her face was much more pale than is should have been. I tried to squeeze Jane's hand to reassure her, but Jane didn't react at all to my touch this time. She seemed lost in some dark corner of her own misery. I felt a pain in my chest. A pain of sympathy and heartbreak.

Claire, the social worker, made a few more scribbles in her file.

"And...where _was_ your last place of employment?" she asked again, still never looking up at Jane.

Jane's head shot up. She looked at me for a moment, I thought I saw tears shining in her eyes again. She turned her head away from me immediately though before our eyes had a chance to study each other to closely. Jane's lashes were batting furiously, she was trying desperately to fight back tears. I thought I saw something that looked like shame in her face. This was_ awful_.

"I-I-I...I was a dancer," Jane said staring blank eyed again at her blanket.

The social worker paused in her scribbling for a moment. She looked up a Jane curiously.

"A dancer?" she asked accusingly.

"I was a-a stripper," Jane said.

I could see several tears fall down her face. She looked absolutely defeated now.

"I see," was all that awful woman said. She went back to her scribbling in the file.

"And...why did you discontinue your work...stripping?" The social worker said the word stripping with a voice laced with pretentious disgust.

I gritted my teeth against the rage that wanted to escape me.

Jane sighed heavily.

"I...I got fired." Jane said. More tears rolled down her cheeks.

"I see, and why was that?" The woman asked not bothering to look at Jane again.

"I-I-...there was an incident with my boss," was all Jane could manage to say.

"What incident was that?" the social worker asked with no concern at all for Jane's tender condition.

Claire seemed to care little about what Jane's state of mind was in this moment, knowing that her child had just received very serious life saving surgery. This woman seemed to care not at all for Jane or even for Angela. What the hell did these questions have to do with abuse? I was growing more and more angry by the millisecond.

"He tried to rape me," Jane said softly. Even her voice was hollow now.

I felt my own face wrinkle up into a frown now. I don't know why but I felt a rage storm through me. A shiver ran down my back and goosebumps broke out all over my skin. I wanted to know more, I wanted to know who had dared try to take from Jane what she wasn't willing to give them freely. I could care less that Jane had been a stripper, that didn't bother me in the least. But the idea of someone forcing themselves on her...it make me _sick_. I felt my own hand begin to sweat in my fury.

"Did you file a report with the police?" the woman asked.

Claire didn't seem the least bit interested in Jane's revelation. It almost sounded like she didn't _believe_ Jane and even if she did, it sounded like she didn't care at all. I tried not to believe this woman could have been thinking strippers deserved what they got. I tried _hard_ not to think that. If I allowed myself to entertain that idea this whole situation would have gotten much worse, and that would help no one, _especially_ not Jane. I swallowed the curses and accusations I wanted to spit in Claire's face. I would save those for whom ever had made that damn report of abuse.

"NO!" Jane wailed.

"Why not?"

"Because it wouldn't have mattered anyway. I couldn't have put myself through that. I had to be there for my baby. I didn't have money for a lawyer and that guy would have just come after me. I he told me to put out or get out...so I just left."

"I see," the woman continued writing in her file.

Jane's body had tensed, she was refusing to look at me. Her hand had gone limp in my own, I _knew_ she was thinking I didn't care for her anymore. I _knew_ she was thinking badly of herself again. I _knew_ she was thinking very many thoughts that were dangerous to her mental health and to the health of her child.

I did what I could to comfort her. I ran my free hand lightly through Jane's dark locks and cradled the back of her neck giving her another reassuring squeeze. I needed her to know I still wasn't going anywhere. Jane didn't respond though, she was too far gone in her darkness.

"And since your...stripping, you haven't found any other work?" The woman asked.

"No," Jane said in a hollowed voice.

"Have you looked?"

"...yes...it's hard though with a baby. I can't afford a baby sitter...it's just...it's _really_ hard." Jane said softly.

"How have you been paying your bills?" the woman asked.

"I get some assistance from the government, I baby sit for other people's' children some times, I walk dogs when I can...just...just odd stuff here and there."

"And this is enough to provide your child with everything she needs?" Claire asked eyeing Jane with a hint of a smirk on her face.

I had to bite the inside of my cheek _hard_ not to scream at the woman.

"Ummmm...ummm..." Jane looked up at me now.

I saw her fear and her embarrassment. She had no idea what to say. I know she knew the woman already knew that it wasn't enough. I know Jane realized how badly this was going already and we hadn't even gotten to the part about the abuse. I sighed heavily looking down into Jane's pleading eyes. It really was taking all of my strength to get her though this.

"Miss Rizzolli has just been offered a job working with the Isles Foundation of Medical Research and Family Assistance," I said finding the strength to smile down at Jane. "The job comes with medical insurance for both herself and her child, bonuses, benefits, paid vacation time, free on sight day care, and a starting salary well above the national average. As soon as her child is better, I'm sure Jane will be eager to begin her exciting new career." I said glaring at the social worker before returning my eyes to Jane's stunned face.

The social worker was looking at me now. She seemed a little taken aback. I didn't care, this interview needed to move forward and this was the only way to do it. I should have thought of it sooner. I couldn't stand another second of watching Jane rip herself apart from the inside out, or listen to that woman bring Jane down with all her invasive questions and judgemental demeanor.

"And you are?" the woman asked.

"Dr. Maura Isles," I said levelly. I tried not to glare at the woman to her face...I don't think it was working.

"Dr. Isles...I see! Just to be clear, Jane must answer all questions herself. No one else can speak for her. I might have some questions for you myself though," she eyed me suspiciously.

I gritted my teeth. I dared that woman to challenge me. I was over running and hiding, I DARED that woman to challenge me.

"Ask away," my voice was so icy I thought I even felt my blood run cold in my veins.

"Later," was all the woman said before turning back to her file.

I would have challenged her head on myself but Addison came breezing into the room at that very moment. She stopped short when she picked up on the tense vibes in the room. I caught her eye. She was looking at me like she didn't know what the hell to do. I rolled my eyes and smiled at her trying to throw off her discomfort.

"Is everything Ok?" I asked suddenly becoming worried the Doctor might have bad news about Angela.

"Who's this?" Jane asked curiously.

"This is Doctor Addison Montgomery, she's the Doctor that saved Angela's life...do you not remember?" I said running my hand through Jane's dark locks again. I couldn't lie outright, but I had to imply that Jane already knew how Addison was, at least in front of that damned uppity social worker.

Addison smiled at Jane graciously. I could have hugged her for that but I didn't want to let go of Jane's hand.

"It's nice to finally see you awake Jane...I was worried that you might not recover so quickly from your..."

"...Dr. Montgomery let's step into the hall for a moment," I interrupted Addison.

I wished my voice didn't sound so harsh and demanding but I couldn't afford Addison, as a Doctor, to reveal to much about why Jane was in the hospital bed. A well-respected medical physician announcing in front of Claire that Jane had been so hysterical she had to be sedated would not be good. Worse, if Claire found out about the fact that Jane didn't even know who her child's Doctor was and how she came to be working the case would also be a disaster, a _huge_ disaster. I could see from the corner of my eye that Claire was studying us both curiously. She was making more scribbles in that damned file of hers again.

Addison looked taken aback for a few seconds. Then she nodded her head turned and walked out the door. I looked at Jane for a moment before reluctantly releasing her hand and following Addison out the door.

"Jesus Christ," I said when we were far enough away to not be overheard.

"What the hell is going on in there?" Addison asked. Her green eyes burned bright with curiosity.

"That woman is a social worker investigating a claim someone made against Jane that she neglected and abused her child and that's why Angela swallowed that battery," I hissed.

"What?" Addison's voice was high and shrill.

"Yeah, and you can't say anything in front of that woman about Jane being sedated and me having to take over her power of attorney. That would just look to bad." I sighed rubbing my temples.

I noticed for the first time that I had a horrible raging headache again. God I was _so_ tired.

Addison studied me for many long moments. Her face was expressionless, but I knew there was a question burning in her mind that she was dying to ask but didn't know if this was the right time. Addison wasn't one to beat around the bush though.

"Who _is_ she to you Maura?" she asked me flat-out.

"What?"

"Who_ is_ she to you? How long have you known this woman? The nurses told me you didn't even know her real name when you guys came in! What the hell is_ really_ going on? Why are you doing all of this for her?" Addison's voice was rushed and desperate, but not judgmental. I knew she really was just curious. I would be too in her situation.

I didn't speak for a while, I couldn't lie out right, but it took time to find a way to skirt around the truth of so many questions.

"Jane is...look Addison...she's important to me. That's all I can say. She's important to me and I promised...I _promised_ I would help her." I pleaded with Addison.

I needed her to understand. I needed her to just accept what I was saying and not ask more questions, not here, not now, not while I had hell and high water to deal with. Addison, bless her, only sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Good Grief," the Doctor exclaimed "I just came down to tell you Angela is stable and you two can go see her now. You can only watch her from outside the observation window though, she must remain in a sterile environment for a few days until she's stronger. But you can go up and see her whenever you're ready." Addison said with a heavy weary voice.

My heart soared hearing her words.

"Oh thank goodness," I said kissing Addison lightly on the cheek before scurrying off back to Jane's private room and the hell inside.

I bustled inside interrupting whatever conversation that horrible woman and Jane had been having in my absence.

"Jane...you can see Angela now...are you ready?" I said excitedly bouncing on my toes.

Addison's news had invigorated me, driving away all other unpleasant thoughts and chasing the weariness from my mind and body. This was the best thing that had happened since I first laid eyes on Jane.

Jane's face lit up again and her smile...God her smile. Jane was just about to speak when Claire interrupted her.

"Oh, actually Miss Rizzolli is not allowed to be within a thousand yards of the child until the states' investigation is complete and we make a ruling." Claire said nonchalantly like she was saying the sky was blue.

The room went so chilly and quiet I thought I was breathing ice.

"WHAT?" Jane wailed.

"I'm sorry Jane, but in cases where neglect results in such severe injuries of a child the state has to take immediate action to protect the child, and that means taking custody of the child until a decision is made."

Jane was hyperventilating again. Fresh tears streamed down her face uncontrollably.

"I-I-I can't be with my baby?" she cried through heartbreaking sobs and shuttering wails.

"Until our investigation is complete, Angela is a ward of the state. Normally we would have removed her from your home but as she's in the hospital she will remain here until she's healthy enough to be transferred to a temporary foster home."

I was to shocked to speak. This was ludicrous. I rushed to Jane and pulled her into my body again. My own body shook with the fury of her sobbing. I was furious all over again, only fives times as much as I had been before.

"This is _ridiculous_. Her child is recovering from _surgery_, she can't even hold her...we can only see Angela through the glass window. There's no way she could hurt Angela through the glass. _Why_ are you people doing this, why are you being so _cruel?"_ I screamed at the social worker.

I just could no longer control my temper. I could no longer stand down and let them abuse Jane this way. She hadn't done anything..._anything_ wrong. Perhaps life and hardship had forced Jane to make impossible decisions, perhaps not all of her decisions had been the best ones. But who was perfect? I knew Jane loved Angela, she loved her with _all_ of her heart and soul. _No_ mother that loved her child as much as Jane loved Angela deserved to be told their child had been taken right out from underneath for something that was no fault of their own. Jane was willing to whore herself to care for her child, there was no greater love...there just was _no_ greater love or _no_ greater sacrifice a mother could make for her child. Unless it was to lay down her own life, and Jane, I knew, would do that too. I felt a rage and a hatred for the social worker that I didn't know was possible of me. I could have spit directly into her face.

"This is simply protocol...in these cases..."

"...Oh fuck your protocol!" I screamed at the woman.

Her speech stopped short and her eyes went wide with shock.

"You don't even _know_ what happened, you haven't even _asked_ what happened you fucking _bureaucrat._ All you've been doing is scribbling little bits of bullshit in that file and judging Jane for what she's done in her past. You don't know _anything_ about her, you don't know how much of herself she's sacrificed to care for her child. You don't even _care_ to consider how much it took for her to remove her clothes in public and dance for drunken men just to get enough money to buy formula. Did you write any of that down in that damn file? Did you write how sincere Jane is, did you write how much of her dignity and pride she gave up to care for Angela, did you write how much she struggles, how much it pains her every single day to not be able to provide better for Angela? Did you know Jane wasn't even home when Angela swallowed the battery? Did you mention it was an accident and that this is all crazy and_ insane_." I screamed at the social worker.

I could feel myself trembling with rage. I was so furious I could barely see straight. I was a raging maniac. I knew everyone could hear me in the emergency room, I knew they could hear my every word but I didn't care. I wasn't going to back down this time...not _this_ time.

"If you want to ask questions so much...ask the _right_ ones you little prick...and have enough respect for Jane to look her in the eyes when you speak to her. You're not _better_ than her, you don't own the right to judge her for any of the decisions she's made. There _is_ no case here and I'm going to see to it personally that this all goes away and then I'm coming for you for your blatant and heartless disrespect. You will rue this day Claire Haverty, you mark my words...you will _rue_ this day." I stormed and raged at the woman.

Claire's jaw was hanging open by the end of my rant, even Jane had stopped crying and was looking at me in nervous disbelief. No one spoke, no one even so much as breathed to loud. My rage was sucking the very life from the room. I was on fire from the inside out. Flashes of red danced behind my eyes, my hands trembled violently, I could feel my eyes bulging in my head. I had never, _ever_ been so angry in my life.

I felt long arms wrap around me, I was being hustled from the room. Addison dragged me out of the room and all the way down the hallway. Everyone was staring at us and I mean _everyone_. Nurses had stopped in their tracks, Doctors stood gape jawed and wonder eyed, patients stood in the doorways of their rooms curious and amazed. I could hear the whispers and I could hear the sniggers. I didn't even care...

"...Fuck them all," I thought as Addison shoved me roughly into an on call room.

Addison slammed the door behind us and rounded on me in her own fury.

"I don't know what the HELL is going on with you Maura but this is a hospital. There are very sick and very injured people here and you are making a disturbance for the entire emergency ward. What is WRONG with you today!" Addison hissed through gritted teeth.

"I've never even _seen_ you like this before...not EVER! I didn't even know you could _raise_ your voice. I need you to calm the hell down." Addison hissed and scolded me.

I did not back down. My rage was still on me.

"Addison you don't even know what was going on in there..."

"...I don't give a shit _what_ was going on in there. Unless that woman drew a gun on you or something there is just _no_ excuse for this. I expect better from you Maura...you _know_ better, I _know_ you do. Jane has got you losing your freaking mind, how do you even KNOW her Maura. I'm serious this time. I want an answer...how do you _know_ her?" Addison raged planting her feet and fixing me with her most stern no-nonsense expression.

I let out an exasperated growl through gritted teeth of my own.

"She's my friend Addison..." I spat angrily. I was tired as hell of being asked that question.

"...Damnit Maura you don't _have_ friends. You push people away and hide behind books and work. I know that _all_ too well. I _tried_ to be your friend and you've always kept me at a distance. Now stop _lying_...WHO IS JANE TO YOU!" Addison was almost screaming herself now. Her eyes were wild with her own fury.

I sighed heavily. I turned and leaned my forehead against the wall closing my eyes tightly against the reality of my life. I willed myself to find some kind of stability in my spirit, Addison was right I _did_ have to calm down. My outburst was not helping Jane...I was losing control of myself. I _was_ losing my mind. Still I could not lie to Addison, but I damn sure couldn't tell the outright truth. I didn't even know what the truth was anyway at this point. Everything was just moving so fast and spinning beyond my control. I had no time to think, let alone plan. I could only react to what was happening around me, life didn't even have the mercy of giving me room to breathe let alone reflect in between nightmares.

I was suddenly so tired again. I hadn't slept in over twenty-four hours, and I knew I wouldn't be sleeping any time soon. Worse I had to fly back to Boston tomorrow...I _had_ to, I couldn't get out of it. I had responsibilities there that I could not shy away from. Knowing that left me very little time to deal with the insanity my life had become in these past very long hours.

I thought of what I could say to Addison, I thought of how I could answer her question but I had nothing to say that wouldn't sound as pathetic as it was. I didn't expect anyone else to understand what I was feeling and why, how could I expect that from an outsider when I didn't even understand it myself. Everything was just...it was just so _crazy_.

I started laughing to myself, laughing hard! I thought of all the times I'd spent alone in my home in Boston or alone in my apartment in New York and cried myself to sleep. I thought of all the times I wished I had someone to love, of all the times I wished I wasn't burdened by the weight of my insecurities and my anxieties. I thought of all the times I had dreamed of being in love, or being brave enough to open up and climb out of the box that caged me. I thought of all the times I was lonely, of all the times I'd dreamed of a life full of excitement and adventure. I thought of all the times I hated my life _and_ my self. And now here I was. In thirteen hours I'd experienced more excitement and adventure than I ever thought I would in the entirety of my existence. I laughed and laughed. Be careful what you wished for.

"What the _hell_?" Addison cracked sarcastically. She folded her arms against her chest and sighed deeply. "Jesus _Christ_ Maura!" Addison shook her head.

"Angela is a ward of the state now...they won't let Jane see her baby until they complete their investigation." I said still laughing.

It was all just so ridiculous. I thought I might actually be in shock and that is why I couldn't manage to stop laughing at such an inappropriate moment.

"She can't see Angela?" Addison's voice changed into something reflecting disbelief and disgust.

"No," I sighed heavily.

I stopped laughing. I was sad now...I felt sad and defeated. What the hell was I going to do?

Addison was silent for a few moments.

"Technically Angela is in your custody at the moment. I haven't signed off on Jane's recovery yet, you still speak for her and for Angela. The state can't take the child from you...not right now. I don't think you can stall the investigation, but...you should call your lawyer, he'd know better than me." Addison said.

My eyes shot open. She was right, Angela _was_ technically in my care at the moment and so was Jane.

"Can I have the room for a moment?" I asked turning to Addison and pulling my phone from my purse.

Addison rolled her eyes..."Sure, but no more screaming ok!" she spat at me.

"Of course," I said smiling at her pleasantly.

Addison rolled her eyes again and left closing the door tightly behind her.

I sighed after she left. I was truly weary. My head ached like I'd never known and every muscle in my body screamed in defiance from lack of sleep and far to much stress. I walked over to the bed in the on call room and sat down. I wanted to lay down, I wanted to fall into a long, much-needed, blissful sleep. I couldn't do that though, I knew I couldn't. No matter how I ached for it, sleep would never come and any dreams I had would be nightmares. Jane needed me, Angela needed me, I made promises...promises I just had to keep. I sighed again and dialed James' number waiting for him to answer with a heavy heart full of worry and anger.

James answered on the second ring this time.

"Maura?" he said when his deep voice sounded on the line.

I sighed again steeling my nerves.

"James, I need you again." I said.

I was surprised how my voice reflected every emotion I was feeling. It was becoming harder and harder to mask myself as I usually did.

"Maura...what's wrong!" He asked me in a clipped almost frustrated tone.

"Jane is being investigated my CPS for child abuse and neglect. They've taken custody of her child until the investigation is complete. She can't even _see_ Angela, they might even take custody of her completely. Can they do that...do I not still have say over Angela's care. Does my power of Attorney not also make me her guardian?"

I heard James sigh.

"Jesus Maura what the hell _is_ it with you. Who the hell is this _Jane_?" he asked me. His voice was forced and exasperated.

I could tell he was indeed flustered.

"James she is a friend," I said wearily. There was that damn question again.

"Let me tell you about how it's not _your_ responsibility to be in the middle of whatever is going on with your...friend. You need to back away from this and let the system sort this all out. You've done enough for that woman _and_ that child."

I became irritated.

"I'm not asking for personal advice...I'm asking for legal advice. Do I have custody of Angela or not?" I spat into the phone.

"Damn it Maura. How do you even know Jane is being investigated for anything? It's seven-thirty in the morning, their offices don't even _open_ until eight?"

"I know...but a social worker showed up at the hospital an hour ago and has been grilling Jane ever since. It's awful James it really is. I don't know what to do...I just need to know what my legal options are?"

"You're telling me social services pulled somebody out of their sleep to investigate a claim of abuse? That's serious Maura, really _really_ serious. You have just got to back away from this before it blows back on you." James exclaimed.

I felt my ire rising again. I didn't have time for this.

"What are my legal options James. Is Angela in my custody or not?" I spat into the phone again.

"Is Jane awake and functioning?" he sighed into the phone.

"Yes," I said truthfully.

"Then no, you aren't Angela's power of attorney anymore or Jane's for that matter. If Jane is mentally competent to speak for herself your power of attorney has no more bearing. I told you it was temporary, I _told_ you it would have to be done the right way when she woke up." James grumbled.

I rolled my eyes.

"James they are going to take her _child_. What else can we do?" I pleaded.

"MAURA! YOU need to back away from this, that's what you _need_ to do...this isn't your fight..."

"...JAMES! What else can we _do_!" I nearly screamed.

I could feel my jowls quivering in my mounting rage.

"Maura, what do you want me to say? I mean_ really_, it's _not_ your child, you have _no_ legal standing here...none at all! And who is this Jane Rizzolli anyway?"

There was that question..._again_!

"I've told you a hundred times she's a..."

"...yeah a friend I've heard you say that. My private investigator is very good Maura. I know exactly who and _what_ she is. You need to leave this alone and I mean like _right_ fucking now!" James exclaimed.

He sounded hysterical. I was furious all over again.

"James you don't know _anything_..."

"...I know she's a _whore_...I know _that_!" James was almost shouting at me.

"Don't you ever call her that again," I said dangerously. I felt my entire body go cold in my fury.

"Jesus Maura, what the hell is going on with you, why are you so invested in this thing? Are you so lonely that you just cling to any bit of trash that blows by on the street and try and convince yourself that it's gold? Don't you know by know how this is going to end? Don't you remember Talia? Wasn't she another of your little whore crushes? Remember how that all turned out? Remember how she turned on you, blackmailed you? Remember how much money you had to pay her to keep her quiet? Worse, she didn't have half the gas this Jane does to extort you! Why haven't you learned yet Maura? I thought we were done with all this nonsense!" James wailed into the phone.

I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth against my rage and also against the painful memory of Talia. I didn't think about her ever...I tried at least not to think about her ever. Her memory also was a nightmare...but a whole different kind of nightmare. Jane was...Jane was nothing like Talia. That was something I would have staked my life upon, and I wasn't in the habit of guessing. How could I explain that to James though. He would never believe me, he would never understand.

James was handsome and charming and married with three children. He didn't understand being 34 and spending night after lonely night all by yourself. He didn't know how I suffered, he didn't know what I dreamed of. He didn't know how I cried alone in my bed at night, wishing I had the strength to do better for myself. Most importantly, he didn't know Jane. I hadn't known Jane but for a matter of hours, but I knew everything I needed to know about her. Jane was...she was just precious to me. I found a soul as lonely, lost, and misguided as my own. Even if her circumstances were completely different from mine, even if it appeared on the surface that we had nothing in common, even if the whole of the world around us was against us...I knew Jane...and I would _not_ let her go!

I forced back wave after wave of painful memories and distracting ideas of certain consequences. I cared nothing for them, I only cared for the truth. The truth was, Jane was mine, and I would _never_ let her go.

"Just tell me what my options are. How can I make this investigation stop?" I hissed through gritted teeth.

"Maura you can't _do_ anything. They are probably going to take that child. I know all about Jane and her background and her work history and her income. She's a disaster and you need to steer clear. The only thing that could save that kid is if someone else had custody of her..."

"...Let's do that. Draft papers for Jane to sign custody of Angela over to me!" I stated bluntly.

I didn't even think about it. I didn't _have_ to think about it. If this was the only way to save that child, that's exactly what I would do.

"Maura you have lost every_ bit_ of your mind. Hell _no_ I'm not doing that you're _crazy_!" James exclaimed.

His voice was almost shrill with his protest.

"You _will_ do it, you work for _me_ James, You'll do as I ask. I'll pay you well for it don't worry about that..."

"...I work for your _family_ Maura...your FAMILY! I look out for your _families_ interest and this..._this_ is not going to happen."

"That's not your call to make James...it's _my_ call Goddamnit now do as I say and draft the papers...do it now James!" I was actually shouting now.

James was an excellent attorney but I would not be lectured to. More and more seconds were burning while I was stuck bantering with him over what wasn't even his business. Jane was all alone with that woman, that woman that I wanted to punch in the face, I needed to get this ball rolling and back to Jane before something else horrible happened. For all I knew at this point the ceiling could cave in over Jane's head and land her in a coma or something. That's how crazy this day was going so far.

"I'm going to call your mother, if you won't listen to me maybe you'll listen to her." James sighed heavily.

He sounded just as weary of this conversation as I was.

"You will do no such thing James." There was ice in my voice.

I was not playing around. I would strangle James with my own two hands if he thought he could out maneuver me.

"You're not thinking clearly Maura. You're so wrapped up in little miss _hot_ pants that you aren't even considering the magnitude of what you are suggesting. First of all you don't even know who made the call to DCS or what they told them about Jane. If my guy can find out she's a whore so can they..."

"...James...don't ever...EVER refer to Jane that way again. I'm serious...understand me James. You will show respect!" I spat venom into my phone.

I heard James scoff.

"See..._listen_ to yourself. Do you _hear_ yourself right now? And this isn't even about Jane anymore Maura. This is about _you_. You need to stop thinking so much about that woman and think about yourself. Think about what YOU stand to lose if you continue on like this. You are the heiress to a billion dollar multinational hotel and time share conglomerate. You have share holders to consider, board members to consider, a legacy to protect, a reputation to uphold. If you claim custody of this child and it gets out that you claimed the illegitimate child of a prostitute you've only know for thirteen hours the fall out will be _tremendous_. You will be the joke of every tabloid and every talk show. You will be the laughing-stock of society. Right wing psychopaths will crusade against you. You _and_ Jane _and_ that poor child will be the platform of anti gay, anti gay rights, anti gay parenting, anti gay marriage lobbiest everywhere. Is that what's best for Angela? She'll never live that down...not ever. And what if some man pops up and claims to be the father of the child. He'll have an open and shut case against you and Jane. A judge will take one look at a whore and her John raising a baby and snatch that kid away from you without so much as a 'sorry about your luck'! You're business will suffer, your judgement will be questioned, your place at the head of the table will be in jeopardy. Do you want your family to lose control of the business. Do you want to throw away your grandfathers hard work? He came to this country an immigrant and built that company from the ground up. Are you going to throw that all away some on cheap piece of ass? And what about your mother? She'll snatch your inheritance right out from under you if she finds out about this. You'll be a stain on the great name of Isles. Your foundations could suffer...everything you've worked your life to accomplish and achieve could be lost on this. Think about all this Maura...think long and hard!" James finished with a heavy sigh.

I was silent for a long while. I did think about it. I did think about each and every thing he said. There was so much...so much I hadn't considered. There were so many 'what if's' and so many dark corners to this whole thing. I did have a lot to lose...I had everything to lose. But still, I could not get the image of Jane from my head. I could not erase the look of her pleading eyes as she gazed up at me desperate for my strength. I could not forget the way she reached for my hand. I could not forget the way my entire body tingled when our lips had been so close together. I could not get that one brief moment of lust I saw in Jane's eyes when our bodies were so close. Most importantly...I could not forget the promise I made. I made her a promise...and I _meant_ it. Whatever would come, whatever hell we would have to face, I would face head on for Jane and her baby. I would not let injustice prevail because of money or power or greed.

I'd been wealthy all my life, I would always be wealthy whether I sat at the head of the table or not. I was still the majority share holder. It's not like the money or the power ever made me happy. It's not like I'd be devastated if I lost it all. Money and power only ever brought me seclusion and loneliness. It only ever made me sad. It gave me a cold mother and a distant father. It gave me a life time of living up to expectations, of fulfilling other people's dreams of me, of walking footsteps that had been laid out for me before I was ever born. It would be awful to ruin my families reputation, but at this moment and from now on, I was and would be a fighter. I had the best people in my employ that money could buy. If the enemy came at me, I would show them they were playing with a monster. If they wanted trouble, I wanted the same damn thing.

"Can it be done James," I asked finally

"Maura Jesus..."

"...CAN IT BE DONE!"

"Maura think about it...don't do this..."

"...JAMES!" I shouted.

He was silent for a long while.

"If Jane agrees and signs off on it, it can be done...but the DCS investigation won't go away. They will turn the light on _you_ instead. They will question you. They will question your relationship with Jane. They will dig and they will search. Even if you do spin the story well enough you'll still be put on at least six months probationary observation. You'll have to show you can provide for the child a stable home and have a stable relationship with Jane. There is so much grey area, one crack and this would all fall apart. You need to insulate yourself, you need to have all you ducks in a row and protect Jane too. If Jane is discovered for what she is...this whole thing is over. _Worse_...you're going to have to lie. The court won't sign over custody to someone who's never even met the child before. You're best bet...if you are just _determined_ to do this...is legal adoption. And that will only work if you and Jane were married, and you'd have to do it in Boston since gay marriage isn't recognized in New York. Even still, they will investigate you. Can you lie?" James asked.

I know he already knew the answer to that.

I sighed heavily.

"NO! But Jane can and so can you!"

I heard James grumble a million curses.


	5. Sweetheart!

**A/N: So, I read all your reviews and took some of your suggestions to heart. The last couple of chapters have been...intense to say the least. We're taking a step back from all the drama in this one and moving into the actual development of the romantic relationship between Maura and Jane. Be patient, it's going to be slow, but I'll make it as entertaining as possible the whole time. This chapter flip flops between Jane's POV and changes to Maura's POV so watch out for it so you don't get confused. Once again, let me know what you think and give me your ideas, this is your story as much as mine, I'm writing it for you guys. All that being said...here we go!**

**Jane**

The social worker and I sat in complete silence for several long minutes after the fiery red-headed Doctor dragged Maura out of the room. I couldn't believe what just happened. I couldn't believe a lot of things that had happened over the last thirteen hours. But most of all, I couldn't believe _Maura_.

When I first met that woman I thought a lot of things of her. She was just so...so proper and soft-spoken and poised. Maura didn't seem like the type to fly off the handle or curse at an employee of the State or make wild random threats. When Maura started screaming at Claire she had been, God she was _scary_! Her eyes changed to some deep fire-red instead of their normal soft hazel, her voice was strong and powerful, fierce and commanding. Her whole body shook with the fury of her words.

Claire's own face had gone white and she actually dropped her pen from her hand under the blows of Maura's terror. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Maura was a _beast_, I was in awe of the change that I was watching unfold in that woman right in front of me. I can only say I'm glad all that anger wasn't directed at me. The craziest part was how I felt in that moment watching Maura rip apart the woman that had been terrorizing me for over an hour. I felt so _many_ things, I was firstly grateful in some strange way. The things flying out of Maura's mouth were...they were so sweet, and so precious. She was standing up for me, standing up to the State its self. She was protecting me, defending me, becoming hysterical for me. It I wasn't so terrified and shocked I would have started crying. No one, and I mean _no_ one, had bothered to defend me in five years, since I lost my family.

I thought of my brothers, I missed them so much. Both of them would always stand up for me, even if they knew I was wrong. I thought of a time in my childhood when the neighborhood bully pushed me off my bike and made me skin my knee and ripped my favorite pair of jeans. I ran home crying right into my mothers arms. Ma picked me up and cradled me in her arms, even though I was seven years old at the time, she cradled me in her arms and wouldn't let me go until I stopped crying. When my brothers found out what happened they went looking for the kid together. I don't know exactly what went down, but when I saw that bully at school the following Monday he had two black eyes and a busted lip. His eyes went wide when he saw me and he ran away in the opposite direction, tripping over himself and falling down hard in his haste to get away.

That kid never _ever_ bothered me again, he never so much as looked my way. My brothers never fessed up to it, but I know what they had done. I felt so proud and powerful after that. I was never again a simpering cowering easy target. From that day forward I was badass Jane Rizzolli. I never backed out of a fight again, I even started some of my own for fun. I knew I had two brothers to back me up, even though they were annoying most of the time. Even still, I felt like the alpha dog in some fearsome wolf pack. No body messed with the Rizzolli kids, they got out of the way when they saw me coming.

I smiled thinking of my brothers. I missed them so much. Losing them and Ma, it was like losing all the pieces that held me together. I had nothing, no one. My pack was gone, the pride of my life had vanished. I'd never get high fives from my brothers anymore, I'd never get hugs and kisses from my mother anymore. I was alone, the lone wolf. I buried my strength in those three cold graves with them. I fell apart, there was nothing left of me. I'd wandered this world alone for five, very _very_ long years. I knew no more kind words, I had no more strength, no one to back me up. My foundation was shattered and cracked, I had no ground to stand on so I just fell all the time. I thought it would be like that forever, and then...then there was Maura.

Maura my 'John' I smiled a little to myself. The thought of her as my John didn't bother me as much anymore. It was actually kind of funny. In five years the only one to defend me had been my damn John. Worse...apparantly Maura was far more fearsome than first impressions would lead you to believe. I had been touched by her words. It was almost like she knew me or something. All those sweet things she said about me, actually that she _screamed_ about me at the social worker, I wouldn't even have said those things of myself. Maura spoke of me like I was some kind of hero, like she was in awe of me, like she was impressed that I was still breathing.

My eyes teared up a little when Maura spoke so highly of my hardships. She didn't care that I was a stripper, she didn't care that I was poor, and lonely and desperate. She didn't think I was a terrible mother. She spoke of me as if she'd watched me every step of the way over the last five years. She spoke of me like she had seen my struggle with her own eyes, she spoke of me like she knew me, like she knew me and she loved me. I was in awe of her, I was grateful to her, I...I was floored by her.

The craziest part was how...how unbelievable sexy Maura was storming at the social worker. It had almost taken my breath away. Maura was still wearing her form hugging white cocktail dress, her hair was still pulled back in that beautiful up doo with the golden pins. She was still wearing those crazy tall stilettos and her legs, God her _legs_. But in her rage, dressed as she was, oh my _goodness_...she was breathtaking if not also terrifying. She was the devil in a white dress!

I wish I had gotten to answer Maura's last request of me on the rooftop garden. I believe I would have found being in Maura's service...less awful than being with some random dude. I might have even liked it. Maura really _was_ sweet. I couldn't believe she had stayed with me all night. I had some suspicions that Maura had something to do with Angela's medical bills being taken care of. I hadn't even filled out any paper work to make something like that happen. And that gorgeous red-headed Doctor that saved Angela's life...it seemed like she and Maura knew each other personally some how. More strangely still, the doctor told _Maura_ about Angela's condition, Maura and not me! What the hell was that all about?

It was all very puzzling, but I was far too relieved that Angela was going to be ok, and far too stressed over this awful social worker to question things to hard. I was so grateful that Maura was with me. It wasn't her responsibility to be here, I don't even know why she cared. But apparently she waited with me all night and hadn't left me yet. I knew, I _knew_ for a fact that I never would have been able to deal with Angela's injuries by myself. I knew for a fact that both myself _and_ Angela would have fallen apart without Maura to keep us together. I knew that if not for Maura's strength, I would be nothing right now, I would be _nothing_ and my daughter most likely would not be alive. Surges of gratitude flooded through me as I thought of the blond beauty that was my beast. Maura was just so...God she was incredible.

I thought of the few moments when her face had been so close to mine. There was some sort of electricity in my body when her hazel eyes looked deep into my own with such sincerity and such encouragement. She smelled _so_ good, and her body was so warm and so beautiful. Her smile made something move inside of me I didn't know was there before. I remember noticing her lips. I don't know how I could have thought such a thought in that moment with everything I was facing, but...I felt drawn to her. It felt like Maura was sucking me into some vortex of lust and hunger even though she was trying to comfort me in the midst of the storm of my life. I don't know why, but before Claire interrupted us, it felt like Maura sensed the same heat between us that I did.

It was mostly in her eyes, there was a desire...a passion inside that woman that I couldn't place. Under the gaze of Maura's eyes I no longer felt stripped down and bare in that moment...in _that_ moment, I felt like she truly wanted me for me. I had been almost flattered, was this queen of a woman _really_ that interested in me? Did Maura really want more of me than just sex? I hadn't believed any of her words on the rooftop garden, but now...thirteen hellish hours later, maybe just maybe she was telling the truth.

If Maura didn't care at all, why was she still here? Why did she defend me so passionately? Did she really think all those wonderful things she screamed about me to Claire? It certainly seemed so considering the force with which she shouted at that woman. I'm sure everyone in the emergency room could hear Maura raging. At one point I actually curled the blanket up close to my neck to protect me from the heated vibes consuming every square inch of space in the room.

After Dr. Montgomery dragged Maura away it took several seconds before I remembered to breathe.

"_Jesus Christ!"_ I swore in my head.

I looked over at Claire, she looked like all the wind had been blown out of her sails. Her lips were tight and drawn and it seemed like she might actually want to cry. I almost laughed watching her lean over and pick up her pen. She didn't speak for a long time. She just thumbed through the file in her lap. It seemed Claire wanted to be anywhere in the world than in that room with me anymore.

I really did smile seeing Claire like that. Apparently Maura was such a force she brought people to their knees even when they were only doing their jobs. Well, Claire was a bit of a bitch, I didn't want to lose custody of my child...but somehow I wasn't afraid anymore. Watching Claire's hands tremble as the she gripped the file tightly I knew I didn't need to be afraid anymore. Maura...my John...I chuckled to myself, would stand by her word. I knew that now...Maura was a woman of her word. She would make this go away, I _knew_ it. I smiled. There really was mercy for whores.

It was strange, it was odd, it was the craziest thing ever but somehow I didn't feel like crying anymore. Even knowing my baby was recovering from surgery, even knowing I was facing the possible loss of Angela completely, even after the horror of the last thirteen hours...strangly I felt something stir deep down inside of me. It felt like pieces of me were coming back together, it felt like years of hopelessness were being replaced with possibilities, possibilities that things might just get better for me.

I didn't feel so alone anymore. It felt like there was another wolf in my pack. It felt like I had a great monster of a wolf walking beside me. I smiled, if Maura was indeed the beast she had shown herself to be a little while ago...I was more than happy to pad along beside her. I certainly wanted to be _with_ her, God help the one that was_ against_ her. I found some courage rise up in my spirit.

I looked over at Claire with narrowed eyes. I didn't feel like cowering anymore. No body messed with Maura, and by extension...no body would mess with me. _Claire_ tried to mess with me, now she looked like that bully so long ago that my brothers had man handled. If Maura's assault had been physical, Claire's face would be bruised and bloodied. I tried to hide the devilish smile I felt spreading across my face.

"She's right you know. I wasn't home when Angela swallowed that battery. Christ what do you people think? That I shoved the thing down her throat myself or something? It was an _accident_! I wish it were me instead of my baby but it wasn't and I can't change that. Maura...Dr. Isles, will do _everything_ she said she would you know. Can't you make this go away before it gets ugly for you?" I said staring at Claire with a cool certain gaze.

It was no longer me trembling in fear. It was Claire's turn.

"I'm only following orders. I didn't mean to offend you or Dr. Isles...it's just. I have to do my job. I work so hard, I see so many awful things every day. I have so many cases and I hardly ever sleep." there were tears shining behind Claire's eyes now. I almost felt sorry for her...almost.

"These questions...they're just standard questions. I _had_ to ask them. I'm sorry if I offended you." it was Claire's turn to look at me with pleading earnest eyes, "You do seem like a very nice woman. I'll...I'll write all that down in my report...but we have to get through this. I can't go back empty-handed!"

I studied Claire for a long while. Boy how the tables turned on a dime...well on a dime and under Maura's fearsome temper. I shuddered thinking of Maura's flame red eyes. I thought of the heat of her body against mine, I thought of the way Maura looked at me last night when she thought I didn't notice. I felt a heat of my own stir inside me. What was happening to me?

I started to respond to Claire but Maura marched into the room with a very tall very handsome looking man in tow.

The man was dressed in the sharpest suit I'd ever seen. He had thick jet black hair slicked back and cleanly cut. He had a jaw like an anvil and dark brown eyes that were piercing and spoke of intelligence and confidence. He walked with a swagger that belied an heir of power. He had a barrel of a chest and arms corded with muscles under the expensive fabric of his suit jacket and crisply pressed shirt. When he saw me looking at him he smiled at me. He had a mouth full of perfectly straight gleaming white teeth. He had a car salesman's smile. There was a twinkle in his eye and some devilishness in his smile that made me think he was a snake in the grass. He seemed as slick as the cut of his hair. I was intrigued.

"Jane, this is my attorney James Licton. We have some things to discuss with you and the social worker." Maura said calmly.

Maura seemed to have pulled herself together in her absence from the room. She was all poise and proper language again. But she was still gorgeous, hell yeah she was still gorgeous. Knowing that Maura could be something completely different from the prim and proper person she was now only made her more intriguing. What else did I not know about this woman? What other sides of her had I not seen? I wanted to know more...I wanted to know _everything._

James Licton walked up to my bed and held out his hand for me to shake. I took his hand timidly in my own. What the hell was going on?

"Jane Rizzolli...it's very nice to meet you!" he said shaking my hand firmly and giving me that car salesman's smile again.

I tried to smile back but I was so confused, "Ummm, it's nice to meet you too James...I think?"

James only laughed.

"You'll like me more by the time we're done here," he said confidently.

I looked over at Maura. She looked weary and very tired. But she smiled at me anyway. I loved the way her face lit up when she smiled. I wanted her to be close to me again. I wanted Claire to have to see Maura's face every time she spoke to me. I wanted my wolf beside me...my fearsome beast of a wolf.

I smiled back at Maura scooting over on my bed and patting the space beside me. Maura's eye brow rose slightly. I thought I saw something like amusement and satisfaction in her face. Maura didn't move for a moment, then she swaggered...literally _swaggered_ over to me and sat down on the bed wrapping an arm around me.

I turned to look at her face, we were so close again. I knew instantly I wasn't imagining the electricity between us before. Maura was practically radiating energy. Her pretty eyes bored into mine. There was a slight smile on her lips. I don't know why...but I couldn't stop noticing her lips. They looked so soft and...they were so pretty. I bit my bottom lip and turned away from her. What the hell was happening to me?

"You must be Claire Haverty." James said walking to the other side of the bed and shaking the woman's hand.

Claire looked lost and a little afraid. I knew she was wondering just as much as I was about James' purpose here.

"Yes, I am Claire...I was sent here by the Department of Child..."

"...Yes yes I know all of that. I spoke to your supervisor not to long ago. I have a fax here of a letter of intent to stall this particular interview until a later date. You'll see there are all the proper signatures and everything is in order." Claire took the letter James held out to her and stared at it blankly.

I knew she couldn't believe was she was seeing. I couldn't believe what the fuck I was hearing.

"The Department realizes they've been a bit hasty and unfair to Miss Rizzolli. Miss Rizzolli will be allowed to visit her child under supervision for the remainder of this ridiculous investigation. Dr. Isles here has volunteered to oversee the care of Angela until all this is sorted out. Since Jane and Dr. Isles are close friends, and Jane works for Dr. Isles' foundation,_ and_ Dr. Isles has covered the cost of Angela's treatment personally, the Department and the court system see no reason that Dr. Isles not be able to be the child's temporary foster giver herself until everything is back in order." James said pleasantly.

The man seemed deeply pleased with himself. He flashed his pretty teeth every chance he got.

"Also we will need to schedule a date to redo this interview when Dr. Isles has returned from her business in Boston. Early next week will be best. Dr. Isles and Miss Rizzoli need time to sort out their affairs before this continues any further. The court sees no reason to argue there, being as that Angela will be in the hospital at least two more weeks and is safe for the moment. The court feels that it would only be fair to give Miss Rizzolli an appropriate amount of time to...adjust!" James' eyes twinkled down at the stunned social worker.

My eyes shot back to Maura. She was studying James intently. She seemed extremely satisfied with how everything was going. I was blown the fuck away. What the hell was he talking about? How did all this happen? How many fucking strings did she and James pull to get this together in so little time. What did they _mean_ Maura was going to be my child's foster? Did that mean I didn't have custody of Angela anymore? What the hell was going on?

I elbowed Maura in her rib to get her to look at me. Maura turned her head and studied me for a moment. Her face was a mask of unexpressed emotions. I would have thought she looked cold and unconcerned if it weren't for the slight turning up of her lips and the twinkle in her eye. She was amused...Maura was fucking tickled _pink_. I thought I felt my jaw hanging open and quickly shut my mouth and gritted my teeth instead.

"What is going on?" I mouthed to her, I didn't want to be over heard. I actually felt like freaking out but...at this point I was all spent on freaking out and there was still a hint of danger behind Maura's eyes.

Maura's smile widened a little. She did indeed seem amused. I felt Maura's arm around me pull me closer to her and she moved her mouth to my ear.

"Don't worry sweetheart, I'm going to take care of you. Just trust me!" she whispered softly to me.

I felt a shudder run down my spine. I wasn't afraid, I wasn't even angry...I was more shocked stupid if anything. But Maura was...there was something strange laced in her voice. Something thick and overpowering. It made my skin tingle and my toes curl. It felt like she was claiming me, like she was marking her territory like I somehow...I somehow _belonged_ to her. It was the strangest sensation I'd ever known.

I'd always been so independent, even after I lost my family. I hadn't had a boyfriend in five years and I hadn't had many at all before that. I'd certainly never had a girlfriend, relationships were always so hard for me. I'd never been willing to bend enough to make them work. But for some reason, some reason I could not even begin to fathom, Maura's whispers in my ear moved me completely. She wasn't my John anymore...she was...she was something else entirely. She was my wolf and I was her running mate.

I pulled back and looked up at her curiously. What was going to happen now? How would this all work? Was I going to get to take Angela home with me when she got better? Was Maura going to make DCS back down. Did I really have a job waiting for me at her foundation? Was my life really changing so much and so quickly.

Maura studied my face closely with that intense veiled expression. To others she might have looked cold and unapproachable, to me...to me she looked beautiful and even...even sexy.

James was still rambling to Claire. Apparently he had been blessed with the gift of gab.

"So...you and I can discuss the details while Miss Rizzolli and Doctor Isles leave to visit Angela." James was saying.

My heart soared. I looked at Maura again. She was smiling outright now...a warm, beautiful sincere smile that covered her entire face. I felt tears roll down my cheeks. Tears of unspeakable joy. I brought a shaky hand over my mouth and choked back the sobs that threatened to overtake me. I felt wave after wave after wave of relief and hope and joy flood through me. Was this really happening? Was this hellish nightmare really going to end? Was there really mercy for whores?

Maura's smile faltered a bit as my tears of joy overtook me. I couldn't help crying, I'd been through so much...so much in the past many hours. I'd never been brought so low since my family passed. I thought I wasn't going to make it through this at one point, I thought I just wanted to lay down and die if I had to live in a world without my baby. I had thought so many...so _many_ unspeakable things in my grief. So many _awful_ unspeakable things. But now...now there was a bright white light shining down on me. There was a glowing golden arm reaching down into the pit of shit I was in and lifting me out and back into the sunshine. Maura was that light, I knew it...I just _knew_ it.

I knew there were things Maura wasn't telling me...I _knew_ there was more to the story. Things like this don't just go away like magic. My beast of a wolf was fighting for me, I cried and cried. I had waited so long.

Maura ran a knuckle under both my eyes wiping my tears away. I felt her whisper in my ear again.

"Would you like to introduce me to your baby girl now?" Maura said sweetly.

I smiled so hard I thought my face would split in half.

"Yes!" was all I said.

Maura stood and offered me her hand. I climbed out of the bed walked out of the room and down the hall with Maura. Maura never let go of my hand, I didn't try to take it back. I liked walking beside my wolf. _Nobody_ could mess with me now.

I smiled

**Maura**

Jane stood with her palms pressed flat and her forehead leaning against the cold glass of the observation window of the infant ICU ward. She had cried all over again when she saw tiny Angela hooked up to so many machines and isolated in the incubation chamber. It took all the words of comfort and kindness that I had to calm Jane down..._again_! But I did it willingly. I knew it would happen. I knew Jane would break down once she saw her baby like that. I'd had to explain a million times that it was only temporary, that Angela would heal and that she would be just fine. It took ten minutes to get Jane to stand on her feet again, but she found her strength eventually with the assistance of my words. Jane's face still looked pained and uncomfortable though as she watched her daughter.

I couldn't even see the child's face, it was covered in an oxygen mask. But she was beautiful I could tell. She had the same wild locks as her mother and her skin was the same beautiful olive as Jane's. I felt my own heart break a little when I saw Angela the first time, it was horrible to have to witness her like this. But I was comforted in knowing that at least she was alive. Thank goodness for that. Thank _Goodness_ for that!

"When do I get to hold her?" Jane whispered.

I'd told Jane the answer to that five times already, but I didn't find myself becoming impatient. I just smiled looking at Angela's little body.

"In a few days hopefully." I said confidently.

"James will see to it that you get to see her even though I won't be here," I said.

Jane's neck snapped like at whip as she turned to look at me.

"What! Where are you going?" she asked me.

There was a pleading and a fear behind her eyes.

"I have to go back to Boston. I have to go back to work." I said calmly.

I hadn't anticipated Jane being so disturbed by the news.

"You mean...you're _leaving_ me?" Jane lowered her eyes and turned back to the window. I saw her sigh heavily.

My heart melted.

"I'll never _leave_ you Jane...I just have to go back to work! I'll be back eventually!" I tried to reassure her.

Jane didn't speak for a while.

"Don't worry about it...you don't owe me anything I'll be fine!" Jane said.

Her voice had become suspiciously forced and level. Jane was steeling her nerves, she was hiding her heart again behind a wall of cannons and lashing out with false security and pretend independence. She was crawling back in her shell, sinking back in her hole.

I sighed deeply. I wanted to take steps forward with Jane..._forward_ and not backward. I didn't want Jane to hide whatever it was she was actually feeling and cover herself and me in feigned aloofness. I know Jane was feeling something, I _know_ that. After everything I'd been through with her, she couldn't trick me into believing she didn't care about things, or even about me in some odd way. I remember the way she reached for my hand, I remember the way she pleaded for my strength with her desperate eyes. I remember the way she patted the space next to her, urging me to come sit with her in front of everyone. I remember the way she fell into my body when I wrapped my arms around her. I remember the tickle of her lavender-scented hair on my cheek. I remember the look of joy and relief on her face when she realized she was going to get to see her baby. I remembered everything.

"I'm going to have to take a leave of absence from the Boston Police Department for a while. There is still so much that has to be done here in New York for and about Angela..._and_ about you! I'll fly back here Thursday evening ok. Maybe you'd like to meet me Friday?" I asked moving closer to Jane.

I wanted to see her face. Her voice could sound as harsh and uncaring as it wanted, I needed to see her eyes. I saw everything in her eyes.

I didn't have to worry. Jane turned toward me immediately.

"Did you pay for Angela's surgery?" She asked me straight out.

I faltered for a moment.

"My foundation covered the cost of Angela's care," I said quietly.

I didn't really want Jane to know that. I wished James hadn't mentioned that in front of her. I didn't want Jane to feel indebted to me.

Jane's eyes went wide.

"Did you hire that red-headed Doctor yourself?" Jane asked.

I sighed.

"She's the best pediatric surgeon in the country,"

"Do I really have a job waiting at the Isles Foundation?"

I smiled this time.

"You can have your pick of jobs Jane...I think I've got something you'd really love!" I grinned thinking about it.

Jane was staring at me bright-eyed. I knew she couldn't believe what she was hearing. What she was thinking of me...I didn't know. I became worried.

"Jane...I'm not asking anything of you in return. I did all of this because...because I like you Jane. I don't want you to feel like I'm trying to buy you, or trick you, or undermine you somehow, or..."

"...how come I can't see you Thursday?" Jane cut in.

I was stunned for a second.

"What was that?" I asked curiously

"How come I can't see you Thursday if you're flying in on Thursday?" Jane repeated patiently.

She looked serious, like she really couldn't understand my reasoning.

I stuttered for a moment.

"I-I-...Of course if you'd like to see me Thursday evening I can arrange that." I said a little shocked by the accusing look on Jane's face.

"Well...since you've done so much for me...I'd...I'd like to see you." Jane said timidly now.

She lowered her eyes and turned away from me again. What emotions was she trying to hide from me now? I knew Jane was just pretending not to care about me leaving for Boston. I smiled a little to myself. Was fearsome Jane showing some signs of vulnerability about me?

I opened my purse and pulled out an envelope.

"This is yours Jane," I said extending the envelope toward her.

Jane turned to me and looked at the envelope.

"What is it?" she inquired.

"Open it," I said smiling pleasantly.

Jane looked confused but took the envelope and opened it.

"HOLY shit!" she said when she saw what was inside.

"It's your money, for our...date!" I smiled pleased with myself.

Jane looked angry all of a sudden. She fixed me with her most hateful glare.

"I don't want this," Jane said slamming the envelope into my chest with so much force she actually pushed me back a few steps.

I was blown away. What did I do wrong?

"What's...what's _wrong_ with you...this is what I always pay when I..." I didn't finish my sentence. I just stopped talking. Jane was glaring at me angrily.

"You've done enough for me Maura. You paid for my child's care, you got me a _job _like a real job where I stand on my feet instead of lay on my back, you somehow tricked the legal system into giving you custody of my child! And how is that going to work by the way? That's so weird...so freaking _weird_! I have a sneaky feeling that slick ass lawyer of yours has more tricks up his sleeve as far as DCS is concerned. I don't want your money...I don't have to be a...a whore anymore." she spat at me.

I chuckled at that.

"You never were a whore Jane," I said simply.

"Yes I was," she shot back.

I rolled my eyes. "The custody thing is only a pen and paper issue with the State of New York. Of _course_ Angela is yours. I'd never _ever_ interfere with that. We just need to...to polish some rough edges and spin some tales and make some changes so you get to keep your daughter and be able to provide for her everything she needs."

Jane just raised her eye brows at me.

"Are you always this involved with your...whores?" Jane asked flat-out.

I sighed. This woman was a work out to be around.

"NO Jane Jesus Christ you are so impossibly stubborn sometimes...and you _aren't_ a whore!"

"If I'm not a whore why are you trying to hand me an envelope full of hundred-dollar bills?"

"You gave me your time and you will be compensated for it. No one could have anticipated how that date turned out. You...you earned this...it's just business," I said as calmly as I could under Jane's furious gaze.

"Is _that_ what this is...is _that_ all I am to you..._business_?" Jane looked a little bit hurt, but her voice was still biting.

"God. NO! Don't you _know_ that by now?" I remarked incredulously.

Jane just eyed me.

"Let me pay you for your time, you'll need to buy things anyway when you move into your new place." I said extending the envelope again.

"What new place?" Jane asked curiously.

"Oh yes, I forgot I hadn't told you. You have to move into my apartment at the hotel. It's just to make sure you pass the DCS home inspections. We can't have you being faulted for anything and it has to look like we're close friends." I explained.

"I can't afford to live there. A bottle of wine in that place cost more than some people make in a month." Jane exclaimed.

I laughed outright.

"Stop concerning yourself with petty details, it's all taken care of!"

Jane rolled her eyes.

I decided not to press at the moment. I'd fight it out with Jane later, or maybe I'd have James do it. He had a way with words.

"You must be hungry...would you like to go get some lunch," I asked smiling at Jane.

Jane's expression changed when I mentioned food.

"Can I have whatever I want?" she asked me wickedly.

I laughed, "Of course Jane,"

After Jane gazed lovingly at her daughter for a while longer she finally let me lead her away toward the elevators. She stopped me short before I could push the button. Jane looked around as if checking to see if we were alone.

"What is it Jane?" I asked wondering what was going on with her. I knew she was hungry, she seemed to love to eat.

"I just...I just wanted to say thank you," Jane whispered.

Her eyes were bright and sincere. She looked so sweet and so innocent. She was more precious to me in that moment than she ever had been before. Jane had finally acknowledged me enough to thank me openly for all my sacrifices. It meant the world to me. I blinked back tears of my own. My heart swelled with gratitude and relief that Jane was actually going to stand with me and not be angry about all the things, all the crazy things I'd done to protect she and Angela. I found it in me somewhere to smile.

"Don't mention it sweetheart. It was my pleasure,"

Jane gave me that beautiful smile again that stopped my heart.

I pushed the down button of the elevator and we left the most hellish place on earth.

Jane wouldn't let me go up to her apartment with her while she changed. She seemed embarrassed or something. I waited patently for her to return. When she did she was wearing tight-fitting jeans and a close-fitting black tank top. She had washed the makeup off her face and her long hair hung damp and loosely over her beautiful olive-skinned shoulders. She must have taken a quick shower. I think my jaw dropped when she climbed back into the limo. She was...she was even more beautiful like this.

Jane seemed unsure of herself though.

"Sorry I look so bummy, I just...I don't have anything nicer." she blushed.

"You're beautiful," I said simply.

It was true. She _was_ beautiful.

Jane smiled at me.

"Why are you such a sweetheart!" Jane asked cocking her head at me.

I returned her smile easily.

"Would you like to have lunch at the hotel?" I asked

Jane's face lit up.

"YUMMM! Alligator," Jane's grin was devilish.

I rolled my eyes, but not out of anger or annoyance.

"You're having something _green_ this time Jane!" I said in my most maternal voice.

Jane rolled her eyes back at me.

"Good luck with that," she scoffed.

I held Jane's hand all the way into my hotel and into the elevators. After I put my key into the lock for the top floor and the doors closed Jane rounded on me with piercing brown eyes.

"Do you really like me Maura or do you just feel sorry for me?" She asked me bluntly.

I turned to her shocked by her question. I didn't answer her immediately, I just squeezed her hand lightly and waited for the elevator to stop and the doors to open again. Jane's jaw dropped when the door opened to my apartment.

"Oh my GOD!" she exclaimed.

"I never bring anybody here, ever. You're the first person that wasn't the help or family to see the inside of my apartment. I brought you here because I _like_ you." I smiled at Jane pulling her stunned body into the apartment and allowing the elevator doors to close behind her.

Jane looked beside herself with many thoughts and many emotions. She finally settled on discomfort.

"You've never brought one of your...your whores here before?" she asked me curiously.

I sighed deeply.

"If you're going to live here you're going to have to stop referring to yourself as a whore, and for the record...no...I've never brought any of Carmelite's girls up here. This is my sanctuary away from Boston...this is my home. I'm sharing this with you because...because I can't imaging sharing it with any one else." I said smiling at Jane's face.

Jane was trying to look everywhere at once. I don't know if she realized the gravity of my words through her own excitement and wonder.

"This place is...it's huge. It takes up the whole _floor_." Jane said looking everywhere at once with eyes wide in amazement.

"It _is_ the whole floor, the whole top floor. I'll have to give you an elevator key, that's the only way the elevator will come to this level. This is where you'll be staying from now on...or at least until the DCS nightmare is over and you feel comfortable moving somewhere else."

"What!" Jane exclaimed, "I can't live _here_...it's_ way_ out of my league...and it's _yours_! I can't get into your personal space like that, this is...this is to much!"

"We have to put on a bit of a show for DCS, besides...there are three bedrooms. One for you and one for Angela and one for me! It needs to appear that we've been friends for a while. I need you to come up with a good story because I can't lie. Not outright. I'm opening up my home, you must do all the dirty work though and come up with some kind of a believable story. James will help you with that tomorrow." I said taking Jane's hand again and leading her further into my...I mean _our_...apartment.

"I can do that...I'm a _great_ liar when I have to be!" Jane giggled.

I only smiled back at her.

"Where were you going to stay Thursday?" Jane asked me curiously stopping short.

I stopped with her.

"I'm sorry?" I asked

"You said you were flying in Thursday but you wanted to meet Friday...where were you going to stay Thursday night since this is your apartment and I'll be here?"

I smiled at Jane.

"This isn't the only hotel I own in the city Jane,"

"_God_, you're like fucking Donald Trump or something," Jane said chuckling to herself.

She seemed nervously amused.

"Don't be uncomfortable, this is your home now...have a look around. I don't mind changing some things if you don't like something." I smiled at Jane's nervous looking face.

Jane's eyes were darting around everywhere. She wore the same expression she did when we stepped out onto the rooftop gardens all those hours ago. It made me happy to see her precious look of child like amazement. I didn't have children, but I imagined Jane's expression is what a child's face looked like on Christmas morning.

"Jesus CHRIST! Look at the size of that TV! It must be like 70 inches. And look at those surround sound speakers! Holy _crap_."

Jane had let go of my hand and was running around looking at everything. I didn't stop her. She was so cute.

"And look at the giant pool table...and look at this couch and look at this rug and oh my goodness, your refrigerator is HUGE! Look at this kitchen...you could cook a horse in this oven...look at this dining table...thirty people could eat here. And OH MY GOD! Look at this view!" I heard Jane exclaim from somewhere deep in the apartment.

I chuckled again to myself. I had moved to my bedroom and was quickly changing my clothes. I pulled the pins from my hair and shook out my dirty blond locks. I stepped out of my dress and hung it neatly in my dress closet. I pulled off my heels and put them in my other huge walk in closet in their proper place. I could still hear Jane's exclamations as she ran around my..._our_ apartment.

I smiled again as I stretched. My muscles were impossibly tense and tired from the length and the stress of the day. I pulled off my underwear and bra and put them in the hamper. God it felt good to get out of all those clothes, my feet were _killing_ me. I moved to a drawer and pulled fresh underwear from inside and turned to walk to my bathroom when I saw Jane standing in the doorway staring at me.

Our eyes locked, well, my eyes locked to Jane's face, but Jane's own eyes were...well she wasn't looking at my face. I was completely shocked silent at first, then I smiled. Miss Rizzolli had a wandering eye.

"Jane," I said finally.

My voice was full of amusement, I imagine my face was too.

Jane snapped out of her trance and looked slightly embarrassed, her entire face turned bright red. She turned her back to me immediately.

"Yeah!" her voice squeaked.

My smile widened.

"I'm going to shower, press 0 on the phone and ask for a bell man to come to Eagle One and take our orders ok!" I said smiling at how tense and uncomfortable Jane looked all of a sudden.

"Eagle One?" Jane asked like she wasn't certain she heard me correctly.

"That's the name of this apartment, Eagle One!" I stated

"Ummm...where's the phone?" Jane's voice squeaked again.

I pulled the cordless from my nightstand and approached Jane. I slid my arms around her waist to give her the phone. I let my breast brush against her back and linger there for a second longer than necessary. I nuzzled my face into Jane's beautiful hair and I inhaled her lavender scent. I chuckled when Jane jumped and squeaked. She tried to cover with a cough.

"Ok!" Jane said scurrying away and never turning back to look at me again.

I smiled all the way through my shower thinking of the look on Jane's face as she studied my body. She looked floored and innocent and curious at the same time. She was so silly sometimes it was ridiculous. I took a long shower, enjoying the feeling of the steaming hot water running down my back. I washed the pain of so many hours of horror from my body. I let the steam clear my mind of unpleasant thoughts and instead thought of Jane's smile, and her wide eyes, and her excited face. I couldn't help smiling when I thought of her. She really was precious to me.

I didn't bother blow drying my hair, I just dressed in a light white summer dress and wore comfortable white sneakers on my feet. I put lotion on my skin and put on a light bit of make up. I still wanted to be pretty...mostly for Jane. I liked the way she looked at me. I brushed my teeth and smiled at myself in the mirror. I couldn't wait to finally have a decent meal with Jane without some horrible interruption. I winked at myself in the mirror and walked back out into the rest of our apartment.

I didn't see Jane immediately, but I thought I heard her voice somewhere. I followed the sound. I thought I heard two voices now. I found Jane sitting on the couch in the living room, a bell boy sat next to her..._right_ next to her. They were giggling like school children. I felt a surge of some unprecedented hatred overtake me. Jane was giving him her most light-hearted laugh and he was returning a laugh of his own.

_"What the fuck was this bell boy doing sitting around in my house,"_ my voice raged in my head.

The bell boys hand crept up and wrapped around Jane's body pulling her closer to him as they shared another laugh. I couldn't hear what they were saying or tell what they were looking at...but I could have spit blood. Flashes of red danced behind my eyes. I felt my eye lid quiver and my heart beat twice as fast as it should. I formed my hands into fist to keep them from shaking so hard.

What the hell was this boy doing getting comfortable in _my_ house and getting comfortable with _my_ Jane. Why was he _touching_ her, _why_ were they laughing together like old-time friends? What the hell were they both thinking? My rage exploded out of me.

"JANE!" I exclaimed in a voice shaking with anger.

Jane turned her head toward me and smiled when she saw me. The bell boy looked shocked when he noticed who I was. He jumped up immediately and scooted as far away from me as he could...all the way until he bumped into a wall behind him. He looked terrified and panic-stricken. His blue eyes were wide with fear. He stuttered and stammered stupidly. My furious gaze never left his face. I wanted to tear his eyes out.

"Look Maura, I was showing him pictures of my daughter when she was younger...look how _cute_ she is!" Jane said bouncing over to me excitedly.

Jane seemed completely unaware of how _furious_ I was. She was lost in her own reverie. I couldn't stop glaring at the bell boy though. Jane stopped short next to me when she noticed my face for the first time.

"What's wrong Maura?" she asked me curiously.

"Get the FUCK out of my apartment," I hissed at the bell boy.

He tripped over himself twice on his way to the elevator.


	6. I'll Miss You!

**A/N: I just can't seem to get these chapters to be shorter. Oh well! So hell yeah over a hundred follows...whoo hoo! Anyway...this is when the story gets all sweet. It starts out a little rough, but hang in there, it's precious at the end. The next couple chapters are going to be mostly funny and a lot of sweet before the shit storm starts all over again. So I've spoiled you guys with a lot of back to back updates, but this will be the last chapter for a little bit...I've got some personal stuff coming up this next week and it's the holiday and all. I'm trying to get my Memorial Day drink on...shout out to the service people out there...we all appreciate you guys. Also this chapter flip flops again starting with Jane's POV and switching to Maura's POV in the middle. Let me know if it's too hard to follow and I'll stop. Anyway keep reviewing...I try and give you guys what you want as much as possible. Remember I'm writing this for you so...let me know what you think. All that being said...here we go!**

**Jane**

**"**I need to speak with you now Michelle, right _now_! I expect to see you here in less than five minutes," Maura raged into the phone.

Maura was mad, like...good LORD she was mad. I'd barely gotten a word in since she ran that poor bell boy out of her apartment. I'd been so shocked I didn't even know what the hell to think. I thought everything was fine, I thought Maura was happy, I thought _I_ was happy and now out of no where Maura had turned back into that crazed raging maniac. I'd been so shocked by Maura's temperament that I still couldn't find any words to say to her.

Maura was pacing around the apartment trembling and muttering to herself. I don't know who the hell she had been talking to on the phone but as soon as that bell boy boogied his ass out of here Maura had snatched up a phone and made that angry call. Whoever was on the other end of the line was probably pissing themselves right now. Maura hadn't spoken a word to me yet, she didn't even look at me. I was standing as far away from her as I could get without actually leaving the huge wide open living room. I wanted to go to her, I wanted to take her hand and sit her down and make her explain to me just why the hell she was so upset. But as angry as Maura was, I didn't want to be anywhere near her. She looked like a bomb ready to explode all over anyone who got to close...I had a terrible feeling I was _still_ to close and I was standing on the far side of the room.

"_Oh Jesus_," I thought to myself as I watched Maura's furious form storm around in her rage.

Maura was wearing a light white sun dress that exposed a very healthy amount of her beautiful breast and cute little sneakers that made her look like a tennis player or something. Her beautiful blond hair was damp and hung loosely down her shoulders. I could see more of her legs than I could when she was wearing her cocktail dress earlier. Her thighs I could see were just as formed and shapely as her calves. I suddenly thought of how much it would hurt if she kicked me in her rage.

Even though Maura was so angry, God she was still so _sexy_. I couldn't stop thinking about those moments when I happened upon her naked form undressing in her bedroom. I was rushing to find her and exclaim over something in the apartment, I don't even remember what it was. As soon as my eyes fell on Maura's body the breath in my lungs and the speech in my mouth were lost. My mind exploded with thoughts and visions and dreams. I couldn't move, or speak, or even _think_ clearly. I could think of nothing beyond the beauty of the body in front of me. Every muscle in Maura's body was toned and rippled beneath the slight tan of her flawless skin. When she turned around my eyes had gotten stuck on her breast. I don't know what _happened_ I just couldn't seem to get my eyes to look at anything else. She was just soo...Oh good _LORD_! I knew I must have looked like some eleven year old school boy staring at a dirty magazine he found under his father's bed. But I just couldn't _help_ it. I think Jesus himself would have stared stupidly at Maura's perky titts. Maura was just...God she was _blessed_!

When Maura finally called my name when she realized I was staring at her I had jumped so hard I thought my head would hit the top of the door frame. I never even bothered to look at Maura's eyes after that. I had been so embarrassed I couldn't stand it. I know Maura saw me gaping at her like some kind of freak. What the hell was _wrong_ with me?

Maura had been so kind to me, more kind that anyone had been to me since my family passed, and I repaid her by acting like a fucking pervert. I would have still been ashamed of that but Maura...God Maura had gotten all weird when she brushed up against me handing me her cordless phone. Her arm moved around my waist slowly and I know I felt her push her body and her breast against me much more than was necessary. My whole body had shuddered. I thought I felt her face nuzzle in my hair a little bit. My whole body broke out into goose bumps. I couldn't help it, I had been on fire...on _fire_! I even felt something going on between my legs that made me squeak. I had run from Maura like a bat out of hell. I didn't know what else to do! My palms were sweaty and my underwear was wet and my mind was raging with images of Maura's unbelievable sexy ass and breast and legs and stomach and hips and thighs and lips and **GOD**!

I had been so flustered I had to walk around the apartment five times to try and get some of the adrenaline out of my system and calm my frazzled nerves. The apartment was fucking huge so that was a lot of damned walking. At one point I had to open the refrigerator and stick my head inside for a moment to cool myself off. I could feel my face burning with embarrassment, or maybe it was lust. I couldn't tell, I didn't know what the fuck to think.

I'd never, _ever_ felt this way about a woman before. I'd never, EVER felt this way about _anybody_ before. I'd had plenty of sex in my life, like _plenty_. I'd had enough orgasms to know I loved sex. But Jesus Christ. Not once had anything in the past felt as good as I felt looking at Maura's body from her bedroom doorway. If I didn't think it would be to weird I'd have stuck some ice down my pants and between my legs to cool off everything that was going on down there. I closed my eyes against the blast of the cool air of the refrigerator and sighed heavily. I had to get my mind to think of other things.

I pressed 0 on Maura's phone and wasn't surprised when someone answered on the second ring.

"Hotel Belle concierge service, how may I help you?" the pleasant voice of a young female sounded on the line.

"Ummm, yeah...I need a bell boy at Eagle One to take a lunch order please," I said.

I couldn't believe I said that. I couldn't believe I was in the _position_ to say that.

"_I need a bell boy at Eagle One to take a lunch order?"_ Really?

That's a sentence I never thought I'd speak a day in my life...like...not ever. Who was _I_ ordering a bell boy service from the private ridiculous top floor apartment of one of the finest hotels in the freaking city of New York. This was crazy...two nights ago I at a bologna sandwich with no cheese or condiments and a bowl of Raman noodles cause that's all the fuck I could afford. Now I was being serviced hand and foot, and the one footing the bill was the sexiest, kindest, most selfless person I'd ever met in my life. Did I mention the sexiest?

I closed the refrigerator door and sighed heavily. I still needed more distraction. I walked around the apartment a couple more times before taking a seat on the largest softest leather sectional I'd ever seen or sat in. The leather sighed and molded around my body when I sat cradling me its comfortable embrace. I stared up at the ridiculous TV over the beautiful gas fire-place and sighed. I couldn't believe I was here. I couldn't believe I would be living here for a little while. I still felt uncomfortable about it, but I didn't have time to dwell on all that when images of Maura's body and the feeling of her breast against my back were parading through my mind.

I pulled out my phone and flipped to the photo gallery. I was more than pleased to see the face of my daughter pop up. The first picture was from her first birthday party. She was so cute digging both her hands into the tiny cheap little cake I bought her from the grocery store. I'd cried because I couldn't afford anything nice for Angela. I wanted to throw her a huge birthday party, I'd wanted her to have everything she ever desired. She was my little princess after all. But I'd barely been able to afford the cake and had to get some second-hand toys from Good Will. I cried all night before the day of Angela's first birthday, but when Angela saw her cake she had squealed and giggled and clapped her hands like it was the best thing in the world. I teared up watching Angela shove cake in her mouth with her hands, that was the picture I was looking at now.

I giggled a little bit to myself. I missed my baby already. I knew she was safe, and I knew she was ok...but still I couldn't stop thinking of her all hooked up to those awful machines and her tiny body isolated in that incubation chamber. At least she was alive though right? I had no one to thank for that other than the woman whose naked body still wouldn't stop running through my head. I decided to flip through more pictures on my phone. They were all of my daughter. There was nothing in my life more important than her.

I heard the ding of the elevator and got up and moved down the hallway and around the corner to find a very young-looking man all dress up in a pressed red jacket, black pants, shiny black shoes, and a ridiculous red cap on his head.

"Hello Ma'am, I'm Tyler, I'm here to take your lunch order." He said bowing to me slightly.

I stuttered for a moment. Maura was still in the shower and I didn't know what she wanted. I didn't know what the hell I wanted either and I certainly wasn't going to order before her. I needed to talk to her first, I'd rather she did the ordering anyway...I was fine with her taking the lead. This was her world and not mine. I didn't know the rules, I didn't know if I was supposed to tip this guy or what. I didn't know what this hotel served for lunch or whatever. I decided to just wait.

"Ummm, just come on in. I'm waiting for my friend to get out the shower, she'll do all the ordering," I said motioning for the bell hop to follow me.

I didn't want to leave him alone in the entryway, even though it was huge and beautiful. Somehow it didn't seem right to leave him standing around all on his own waiting on me and Maura to make up our minds.

The bell boy smiled and followed me down the long hall and back into the living room.

"Have a seat why don't ya," I said sitting back on the couch myself.

The boy faltered for a moment, he seemed unsure of himself. He looked like me last night sitting in the bar. I smiled sympathetically at him.

"Don't worry...I don't bite," I said motioning for him to sit down.

He smiled slightly and sat.

I started looking through my phone again; seeing pictures of my daughter was making me feel so much better. I kept smiling more and more at each picture I flipped to.

"Are you playing a game?" the bell boy asked.

"No!" I laughed, "I'm looking at pictures of my daughter would you like to see?" I asked politely.

"Sure," the boy said.

I smiled, I scooted close to him and showed him the picture I was looking at. He laughed and said she was beautiful. My heart melted. My baby really _was_ beautiful, but it was nice to hear someone else say it. I flipped through dozens of pictures of Angela on my phone, we laughed and giggled at each one. I told him a background story behind each picture and he listened patiently and commented on each one. My heart soared seeing images of my baby healthy and happy. I loved her so much, she was...she was everything to me.

I forgot about everything else looking at Angela's pretty face. I never felt the bell boys hand reach around my back, I never heard Maura get out the shower, I never noticed her enter the living room, I never saw her furious face. I wish I had noticed all those things because...because good grief...it felt like the _sky_ was fucking falling.

"Maura! What's _wrong_?" I finally found the voice to ask from the far side of the living room.

I was panicking. What had I done to infuriate this woman to such an extent? My heart was beating so fast I thought it might thump right out of my chest. I was scared as hell watching Maura grumble to herself and storm around like a tornado up and down the hallway.

Maura rounded on me. Her eyes had that crazy fire in them again. I thought she was going to scream at me but I heard the elevator ding at that very moment.

I heard the click of high heels on the marble floors of the entryway.

"Dr. Isles?" a nervous female voice called out. The apartment was so large the voice actually echoed through the apartment.

"In here Michelle," Maura called back. Maura's voice was laced with fury.

An expertly dressed woman walked into the living room. She was wearing a crisp clean black pants suit. Her hair was pulled back in a tight bun, she looked very professional and was quite pretty for an older woman.

"I want that bell boy _fired_ today...RIGHT NOW!" Maura shot at the woman as soon as she walked into the room.

Michelle stopped short mid-step. She seemed floored and taken aback by the power of Maura's temper.

"Tyler?" the woman asked timidly.

Her eyes were wide with shock and worry. I think she realized she had walked into a shit storm of Maura's fury.

"Whatever the fuck his name is I want him out _today_!" Maura screamed.

Her eyes were bulging and bright and wild. She looked hysterical. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Maura couldn't do that, she couldn't fire a boy for nothing. He hadn't done anything wrong...I didn't even know what the hell was going on. This was freaking_ crazy_.

"Wait...you can't do that...he didn't do anything wrong!" I finally spoke up.

I was terrified to challenge Maura's temper, but she was being so wild and unfair. Somebody had to stand up for that poor boy, I mean good grief...what the _hell!_

Maura rounded on me, she looked like she couldn't believe what I'd just said.

"Excuse me?" she hissed at me.

"You can't fire him...he didn't do anything wrong!" I pleaded Tyler's case.

I felt so bad for him. The poor guy was about to be a casualty of Maura's temper. What if he had children to feed? We were in a recession, it was hard enough to find a job and even worse to lose one over nothing.

"Are you telling me how to run my hotel?" Maura's voice was low and dangerous. The whole apartment had gone all chilly, chilly like Maura's voice. She settled her fire red eyes on me in such a way that my mouth dried out and my voice went all squeaky.

I was scared as hell but I couldn't back down now.

"NO! I'm just saying...what did he _do_?"

"What do you mean what did he _do_?" Maura asked me incredulously like she couldn't believe what she was hearing, like _I_ was the one being crazy.

"He was sitting around in _my_ house, getting comfortable on _my_ couch, touching YOU! He shouldn't have had his hands on you unless it was to shake your hand...he was completely inappropriate and out of line. He is out today and that's _final_!" Maura stormed at me.

I was shocked. Is that what all this was about? Because the boy_ touched_ me? Good GOD!

"It's _my_ fault...I asked him to come in here, I asked him to sit down and get comfortable. You can't fire him because I made a mistake," I pleaded

I was growing more and more desperate by the second. This whole situation was beyond me. I still didn't really understand why Maura was so angry. Maura stopped pacing long enough to glare at me furiously.

"Why would you do that, how could you be so _stupid_?" Maura spat at me with so much venom in her voice it hit me right in the chest like a cannon ball.

I was shocked, I was hurt, I was terrified. I felt tears pooling the back of my eyes, I grasped at the beating heart inside my chest. Maura's words had hurt me, right down into the center of me. I hung my head in shame. I _knew_ I didn't belong here. I _knew_ I should never have come here. I _knew_ this could never work. I _knew_ I was to low-class and too stupid to be in the top floor apartment of one of the nicest hotels in town.

I felt terrible and out of place all over again. I wanted to leave, I wanted to run, I wanted to fly right out of there but I couldn't move. The pain in my chest was to much. I wiped at the tears behind my eyes furiously with the back of my hand. I didn't want Maura to see me cry anymore. I didn't want to show her how weak I was and how much I knew she was right. I _was_ stupid, I didn't belong here.

Maura noticed the change in my demeanor. A look of horrible guilt covered her face. She brought her hands up and started rubbing her temples closing her eyes tightly and shaking her head. I saw her take several deep breaths to try and control herself. She looked like she was in a world of pain.

Michelle's eyes were darting between Maura and me wide with bewilderment. She looked like she didn't know what the hell to think about what was going on in front of her. I didn't blame her, I didn't know what the _hell_ was going on either. I just knew I'd made some kind of horrible mistake, _infuriated_ Maura, and got some poor bell boy fired for an offense I didn't even realize I'd asked him to make. I felt so fucking stupid in that moment.

It was a moment before Maura calmed herself enough to speak.

"Michelle, could you wait for me in the kitchen," Maura asked with as much forced calm as she could muster.

Without a word Michelle turned and practically bolted from the room.

Maura looked up at me quivering in the corner. Her brows were furrowed and her eyes were sad. She looked grief-stricken.

"Jane...I'm so sorry sweetheart I didn't mean that...I didn't mean to call you stupid." she said softly.

I felt more tears behind my eyes. I wiped them away again quickly, I didn't want to break down again. I'd cry later when I got the hell out of here and back to my tiny little loft apartment with its leaky ceiling and rusty pipes where I belonged.

"I just want to go home," I said in a broken unsteady voice.

Maura looked twice as pained now. She rested her hands on the back of her beautiful couch leaning over and hanging her head.

"Jane..._please_ I'm so sorry, I won't do that again...you didn't deserve that. I was wrong!" Maura said.

Her voice sounded tired and weary. It also sounded sincere and guilty. Still though, I was hurt...why would she say that if she didn't mean it or think it somewhere deep down inside of her?

"It's ok...I know I don't belong here...I just...I need to get back home." I almost pleaded.

I just wanted to get the hell outta there.

Maura looked up at me with her weary eyes. None of the fire and rage was showing in her face anymore. She looked...she looked so sad. Maura moved around the couch and over to me grabbing my hand lightly and pulling me toward the couch. I followed. I didn't know what else to do, I didn't want to make her angry again. Maura sat down and patted the seat next to her. I sat down timidly, I really just wanted to leave. We sat there for a few moments not speaking. I don't know what Maura was thinking, but _I_ was thinking about how much I wanted to run away. I didn't belong there.

Finally Maura took my hand and pulled it into her lap interlocking our fingers.

"I _am_ sorry Jane, I _was_ wrong. I'll _never_ do that again. I don't know what happened I just...I didn't like seeing one of my own employees touching you in my own house." She said quietly.

"But...he didn't _mean_ anything by it...he was just...I shouldn't have asked him to sit. I was just making pleasant conversation. I was showing him pictures of Angela on my phone. I didn't mean to upset you...I didn't know I was doing something wrong. It _was_ stupid I know...I'm so stupid," I said hanging my head heavily.

Maura's head shot over to me quickly. She released my hand and wrapped her fingers around my chin and turned my head to look at her.

"Don't say that...you're _not_ stupid. _I'm_ the one that's stupid right now, _I'm_ stupid for being unfair to you. I know you don't realize how a bell boy is supposed to behave, I should have considered that before I got so angry and flew off the handle. I told you last night I...I don't share...I should have asked what was going on before I assumed the worst." Maura said tenderly her hazel eyes twinkling in her sincerity.

She rubbed her thumb over my cheek and smiled at me. She was so unbelievable beautiful. I wanted to fall into her. I wanted to believe she really didn't mean what she said to me so forcefully. I felt myself being pulled back into the vortex of Maura's overwhelming presence, but I couldn't just let something like that go. I had to know more...I had to know why. If for no other reason than to make _damn_ sure I didn't make the same mistake again.

"What did you think was going on?" I asked curiously.

What the hell _did_ she think was going on?

Maura's smile turned to more of a nervous grin. Her brow wrinkled a little. She closed her eyes and shook her head slightly as if wishing desperately she could forget all this ever happened.

"I...I don't know what I thought. A young man, touching you like he was. It just made me _crazy_. You're so...never mind," Maura tried to end her thought

"NO! Tell me...I deserve to know what made you call me stupid," I demanded.

I was growing angry now. I was starting to feel like I hadn't done anything wrong at all and it was _Maura_ who had the problem and not me.

Maura sighed again and took my hand in hers as she had before.

"You're so...you're so vulnerable and beautiful and...I don't think you realize how amazing you really are. I, this might sound mean but I'm not saying it to hurt you but...I think you might be a little naïve sometimes." Maura said matter of factly.

I fixed her with my most loathsome frown.

"What the _fuck_!" I spat.

"I didn't mean it to hurt you it's just...I don't think you see yourself the way the rest of the world sees you. You're soooo beautiful and enchanting and funny. I don't think you realize how much you have to offer the world, and I don't think you realize what other people think and want from you. _You_ might have just been having innocent fun with that bell boy, but I could tell by the way he wrapped his arm around you what he was truly thinking of _you_. I have to let him go Jane, I just have to," Maura said like she really had no other choice.

I sighed heavily. Why were Maura's compliments laced with so much insult behind them.

"You don't have to fire him Maura. I won't ask another bell boy to sit around the apartment with me. You can teach me, you can teach me what's proper and what's not. I'm a fast learner. But I'll never be unfair to anyone that works here. I need you to give that guy a pass this time." I said levelly.

I needed Maura to understand. I might just _have_ been naïve, but that didn't mean someone else had to suffer for it.

Maura shook her head no, even if she did do so sadly.

"Jane...you might not have known what you were doing but Tyler _did._ He knew what he was doing was wrong. He sat down with you because you're beautiful and he wanted to be close to you. He wrapped his arm around you because he wanted to be _inappropriately_ close to you. I can't allow that to happen. If he will do that _here_ in _this_ apartment on _our_ couch, he'll do that to some other lady and God knows where that would end up. We could be sued for sexual harassment or anything. I demand that my employees conduct themselves professionally at all times and if they cannot do that, sweetheart they cannot _work_ here. I don't trust Tyler anymore Jane, he has to go." Maura said squeezing my hand trying to reassure me that she wasn't angry with me anymore and that she was actually sad that she couldn't comply with my wishes.

I still felt terrible. I still felt like this was all my fault, no matter what Maura said.

"Can't you just...can't you give him another job or something...like washing dishes or...laundry service or anything else where he doesn't interact with hotel guest. I just don't think he's that bad of a guy that he needs to lose his job. It's so hard to find work, especially at a place like this. What if he has kids to feed?" I asked desperately.

I knew my eyes were pleading, begging, _willing_ Maura to bend to me. I knew it might have been unfair of me to ask such a thing of her; she'd done _so_ much for me already. But I needed this. I _needed_ her to give Tyler another chance or I'd feel guilty about it forever. I'd never be able to feel comfortable in this apartment again if this didn't go my way. I need this to happen desperately.

Maura's face looked pained. She looked torn between what she wanted to do and my begging eyes. I knew she was thinking about it. I knew she felt guilty for calling me stupid. I knew already there was very little Maura wouldn't give me. I appreciated all the financial things she'd done for me, I appreciated all the strings she pulled for me, I appreciated how vehemently she defended me earlier. But all that aside...this meant more to me than anything. This would mean more than all the money, than the apartment, than the crazy dinner, than the slick ass lawyer. If Maura gave me this _one_ thing...I would know she really cared for me and I wasn't just some purchased whore to her. I _needed_ this one thing desperately or I'd never believe I wasn't just being bought and controlled like a puppet.

Maura studied me for a long time. She looked right into my eyes. She was...God she was so beautiful. I was thinking of her naked again. I couldn't stop myself from smiling out of no where when I thought of what was going on under that sexy little sun dress.

Maura's face cracked into a smile of its own. She seemed amused.

"Michelle...you can come back now!" Maura called out.

The rapid clip clop of heels of the hard wood floors brought Michelle's prim and proper body back into the living room. Maura never took her eyes off me as she spoke...

"...send Tyler home for the day Michelle. Impresses upon him the importance of maintaining professionalism while he is wearing his uniform at all times. Write him up, I want his offense on the record. Tell him...tell him one more strike and he's out!" Maura said never looking away from me.

She wasn't smiling anymore, she looked serious...serious as hell. It was kinda scary...if I was one of her employees I'd probably quake under that gaze. But since I was...well, since Maura was doing this for me...she just looked so fucking hot.

"Yes Ma'am of course! Anything else? Michelle asked

"One more thing...send a different bell boy up here, my Janie is still hungry!" Maura said smiling at me now.

My heart melted. I pulled Maura into a tight hug. She made me so fucking happy.

**Maura**

"Jane, you have to eat some veggies sweetheart...it's _important_!" I pleaded with Jane sitting in a bar stool at my kitchen counter with a grumpy look on her face.

Jane's pout looked like a child that had been told they couldn't have ice cream for breakfast. I would have laughed but I was so weary with the argument that I sort of just wanted to hang my head and give in to her protest. But I couldn't do that, Jane really _did_ need the vegetables and I wanted Jane to be healthy.

Mike, Jane's private nurse from earlier, had told me all about Jane's malnutrition and vitamin deficiencies, and Jane was even a little bit underweight. I knew it was from a poor diet and from poor eating habits. I imagined Jane hadn't been doing much eating at all in the past. I intended to put a stop to that, Jane was _mine_ now. I told her that I would take care of her and that didn't just mean giving her everything she wanted all the time. That meant I had to bite down and force her to do things I knew were best for her even if she didn't want to. But boy could that woman put up a fight. If she were a child I would have spanked her, but she wasn't a child...at least her age said so. By the way she was behaving though...good _grief._

"I don't want too...I hate them...they're so _gross_!" Jane exclaimed schrunching up her face and folding her arms across her chest defiantly.

I sighed heavily leaning against the granite counter top across from Jane.

"_God help me_!" I thought to myself.

"Jane...the chef is excellent. He will prepare whatever vegetables you want and make them delicious I _promise_. But you_ have_ to start eating better. You're underweight, _and_ malnourished. I need you to be healthy sweetheart, you're going to need your strength for everything to come. Don't you want Angela to have a healthy mother to come home too?" I asked.

Yes I did it. I played the low card, I hit below the belt, I gave her the sucker punch. I had to do _something_, I'd do anything to get Jane to stop pouting and eat like a big girl. I thought it would work but Jane only pouted harder.

"I'm _not_ malnourished, you saw me eat last night." she whined.

I sighed.

"You ate like that because you were _starving_ to death. And yes you _are_ malnourished _and_ underweight. The nurse told me so. Please Jane...just do this one thing for me ok!" I begged and pleaded.

Jane sighed heavily herself now.

"But they're so _yucky_! Jane grumbled

I rolled my eyes.

"I tell you what...do you like fish?" I asked

"Yeah," Jane perked up.

"Ok, how about I have the chef make you a nice ceviche and a bowl of New England clam chowder. Both of those dishes are very healthy and have vegetables cooked right in them. I'll have him make you a nice broiled Mahi Mahi fillet to go along with it. I promise it is superb." I said smiling at Jane's pouting face.

She really was adorable like this. I believe I was enjoying our playful banter more than I would have admitted out loud.

"If you're a good girl and eat all your food I'll have the bakery bring you up your choice of dessert!" I cooed at Jane like she was a little girl.

Jane giggled.

"Yummm...sweets!" Jane laughed.

I couldn't help the way I smiled at her then. She was so silly some times.

"Do we have a deal!" I asked cocking my head to the side and studying Jane's pretty face.

Jane grumbled some more. "I guess," she finally conceded.

I sighed in relief.

"_Thank GOD!"_ I thought to myself.

Jane tore into her food with the same desperation as she had the night before. I smiled at her between my own mouthful of cobb salad and steamed salmon. I wouldn't call her out on how much I knew she was enjoying her meal. I knew she was starving, so was I for that matter. Neither of us had eaten in forever and this meal was just superb.

Jane chatted away happily about everything under the sun. Mostly about Angela, some about her brothers growing up, some about her mother, some about her training with the NYPD.

Jane didn't seem so sad anymore. She actually seemed kind of cheery sitting next to me at the huge dining table. I talked very little and listened with an open ear. I was enjoying this meal more than any other I'd ever had. I was just so happy in that moment watching Jane rip into her healthy food and smiling pleasantly between every mouthful she ate.

I thought of all the lonely nights I'd spent dining at this table alone wishing beyond hope that I had someone to dine with me. I thought about how cold and uninviting this apartment used to make me feel, despite the fact that it had the best of everything to offer that money could buy. I thought about how sad I used to be, how lonely and miserable. I thought about how quiet this apartment used to me. It certainly wasn't quiet any more, not with Jane's dynamic personality and excited disposition. I thought about how I wouldn't have to fall asleep with my tears soaking my pillow each and every night anymore. I thought about how often I would dream of having someone like the woman sitting next to me now.

I would surely dream of Jane tonight...how could I not. Jane _was_ my dream...she was the living embodiment of everything my heart had desired for so long. I could not ask for more. Jane was my gift, I knew that. She was my_ gift_ and I had to take care of her and appreciate her and show her how much she meant to me. In less than twenty-four hours Jane had turned my life from one of loneliness and despair and self-doubt, to one of excitement and adventure and happiness. Even though half the time we'd spent together had been under the greatest of pressure and earth-shattering despair...somehow...somehow it all just seemed worth it in this moment.

I thought about how I had to leave for Boston early in the morning. I thought about returning to my cold lonely home there and having to eat by myself again. It made me sad, I didn't want to leave...I wanted to stay...I wanted to stay with my Jane. It shocked me realizing how much I would miss her, it felt like I had to leave the best part of me behind. That part belonged to Jane...I couldn't take it back...she owned it outright. But still, it hurt to know I would have to be without it for four long days. I never wanted to be without her again...but duty called. I had responsibilities. I was already going to be leaving the BPD in a bind, but they could handle it. They were professionals. I would come back here as soon as possible...I would come back to my Jane.

I didn't know how Jane felt about me leaving, we hadn't talked about it much since we left the hospital. I didn't have to wonder long because Jane brought it up.

"So...when are you coming back again?" Jane asked me curiously. Her big brown eyes were shining with wonder.

I smiled.

"Thursday," I said simply.

"But what _time_ Thursday?" Jane urged, she seemed very unsatisfied with my answer.

"I'm not sure...sometime in the evening. My pilot will be on standby and have my jet ready to go. As soon as I leave work I'll head right to the hanger." I said casually.

Jane had stopped chewing mid-bite. She was staring at me like she couldn't believe what I was saying. I cocked my head at her wondering what was wrong...what was she thinking? Jane swallowed her food with a gulp.

"You have your own _plane_?" she exclaimed.

I giggled a little.

"I have two actually. One for work and one for play," I smiled at Jane's startled face.

"NO WAY!" Jane said flabbergasted.

She was just so cute. I reached over and cradled her face in my hand for a moment enjoying the childlike expression of amazement.

"Yes way," I cooed at Jane.

"Can you...can you take me for a ride sometime?" She asked me timidly.

I laughed.

"Of course...but on one condition," I said pointedly.

Jane's face fell. I could tell she was worried about what my one condition could be.

"What is it?" she asked warily.

"The first place we go is Boston." I stated plainly.

Jane cocked her head.

"Boston?" she asked softly.

"Yes...Boston!" I repeated.

"Why Boston?"

"I want you to make peace with what happened there. I want you to take Angela to your families graves and introduce them to her in your own way. I want you to be happy, I want you to move forward, I want you to believe that you can do that...that you have the strength to do that. I want you to accept that your families trajedy wasn't your fault and stop punishing yourself for what happened. I want...I just want you to be happy." I said cradling Jane's face in my hand again.

Jane made no moves to pull away from me. She just looked at me like she couldn't believe what I was saying.

"I-I-I haven't been there in five years," Jane said softly looking down at her plate sadly.

I felt for her, I really did. But I wasn't going to back down...not this time.

"Don't you think it's time?" I asked bluntly.

Jane didn't answer. She just kept staring down at her almost clean plate.

"Honey, I'm not forcing you...you can take all the time you need. But...I won't take you anywhere else on my Jets until you do this one thing for yourself. You have some time anyway. It will be at least six weeks before I feel comfortable with Angela traveling on a plane and away from her doctors." I said taking another bite of salad.

"I'll do it if you're with me the whole time," Jane said looking up at me with those pleading eyes again.

Then she looked back down at her plate, "I can't do it without you," She literally whispered.

I was touched, she was just so sweet.

"I'll be there every step of the way!" I said smiling at my Jane.

Jane looked up and gave me that beautiful smile again. She was just so precious.

"Look Maura...I ate all my food!" Jane exclaimed proudly when she had finished eating.

I giggled at her.

"See that wasn't so bad was it?" I teased.

Jane just grinned.

"Can I have dessert now?" She beamed at me.

"Of course," I said happily.

I loved the way Jane made me feel. She made me feel needed, wanted, desired, loved. Of all the things I'd done for Jane, of all the sacrifices I'd made, of all the strings I pulled...it was nothing...nothing compared to what Jane was doing for me. Jane was reinventing my entire life, Jane was washing away a lifetime of loneliness and heartache and showing me life in a whole new light. Jane had lit the fires of a part of me I didn't know was even there. She was making me feel things I didn't even know I could feel or _would_ ever feel. Jane was filling my home and my heart with hope and joy and laughter. With Jane I didn't feel like a nervous wreck, I didn't feel like an invisible brainiac, I didn't feel like a lost soul. Jane made me feel complete, complete and alive. I wasn't just walking through life purposeless anymore...now I was actually living.

Jane yawned deeply and stretched when she had eaten half of her chocolate souflee.

"Are you sleepy sweetheart?" I asked.

"NO!" Jane lied.

I giggled. I knew she was lying. Her eye lids were heavy and she was slumping over a little at the table.

"You're lying," I poked at her.

I was tired too, but I wouldn't sleep until Jane did. I didn't want to miss a moment with her.

"Are you going to take me home?" Jane asked meekly.

I became sad.

"I want you to feel comfortable calling this place your home now, but I'll take you back to your apartment if you want me to." I said sadly.

"It's just...I don't have anything to wear and I don't have any soap or toothpaste or anything!" Jane sighed leaning her elbows on the table and resting her sleepy head in her hands.

"I have everything you need for the night. James will see to it that you get your things from your apartment tomorrow," I said perking a bit.

"The guest room that is now going to be your bedroom is all made up with fresh sheets and towels and everything you need." I smiled at Jane's sleepy face.

"I-I-I can't sleep alone. I have nightmares," Jane said closing her eyes tightly.

"I usually sleep with Angela in my bed, she makes me feel calm." Jane said sadly.

I knew she was thinking of her baby girl in the hospital.

"Then you'll sleep with me, don't worry...I don't bite!" I joked.

Jane grinned.

"I don't want to put you out anymore than I already have." Jane said timidly.

I rolled my eyes.

"You aren't putting me out of anything. Quite the opposite actually sweetheart. You can sleep with me in my bed. No one has ever slept with me in my bed here. It will be...it will be nice" I smiled warmly thinking of just how nice it really would be.

Jane smiled again.

"Ok, I'll stay!" she grinned.

Jane felt so good cuddled up next to me. It was two hours later and I was lying with one arm wrapped around Jane in my bed. I'd changed into my nicest silk negligée and Jane was wearing light cotton pajama's a bell boy brought up for her. They were a little to big...but she just looked so cute. I'd let Jane talk to Addison on my phone about Angela and her improving condition. Jane seemed much more calm now after having talked to the Doctor. I'd have to do something nice for Addison. She was a life saver...literally...a life saver.

Jane was flipping absently through the channels on the flat screen. She'd remarked several times on how she couldn't believe how many channels I had.

"_How many channels we have Jane_," I had to correct her.

Jane looked up at me with a peevish grin when I said that.

"You're awesome Maura Isles," Jane grinned.

I only smiled.

Jane stopped her flipping on a commercial for the Humane Society. That horrible Sarah McLachlan song was playing and pictures of sad-looking dogs and cats were flashing across the screen.

"Awww Maura...look at all those sad puppies." Jane wailed.

"Yes...it's awful," I said offhandedly.

I actually hated the hell out of those commercials, they were indeed sad...maybe a little bit _to_ sad. I couldn't even listen to that Sarah McLachlan song anymore...it just made me think of dead puppies these days.

"I always wanted a puppy, but my Ma would never let me get one. She said I was to irresponsible to take care or another living thing." Jane said sadly.

Jane's revelation tugged at my heart-strings a little.

"Aww sweetheart. That's awful," I said curling my fingers through Jane's long dark locks.

She'd been letting me do that since we climbed into bed. Her hair felt like silk sliding between my fingers and she smelled so good. I was sad again thinking about how I had to leave her here alone. I would miss her so much.

"Yeah...I guess she was right though. Look what kind of mother I turned out to be." Jane said sadly.

I sighed and snatched the remote from Jane's hand and flipped off the TV.

"HEY!" Jane said sitting up a giving me her best little pout.

"Jane we need to set some rules. Rule number one, I don't ever want to hear you talk down about yourself again...I'm over it! You're not a bad mother, you're a _wonderful_ mother and it's time you realized that. Two, I don't ever want to hear you call yourself a whore again...it's not true and it never will be. Three, I want you to feel comfortable here and cooperate with James while I'm gone. I need you to listen to everything he says and do as he asks. If you don't like something he says call me and we'll sort it out ok. If this is going to work you're going to have to start seeing yourself the way _I_ see you. NO more putting yourself _down_!" I said sternly looking right into Jane's shocked face.

Jane didn't speak for a while. Her jaw was hanging open and she looked lost for words. I didn't take my steady gaze off her though. I needed her to understand how serious I was. I just was _not_ playing around. I was over hearing Jane belittle herself. That part of her life was over...I would see to that personally if it killed me. Finally Jane spoke.

"Jesus Maura," she exasperated.

"I'm _serious_ Jane," I reiterated.

"Ok Ok..._sheesh_!" Jane said.

She rolled her eyes and pulled my arm back around her neck and we both lay back on the soft down pillows.

We didn't speak for a while. I just reflected on everything that had happened over the past twenty four hours. Life sure had a way of throwing you blessings wrapped up as curses.

"_Love is felt most keenly after experiencing tremendous pain,"_

I smiled.

"I'm...I'm gonna miss you when you leave Maura," Jane whispered in my ear.

I smiled wider.

"I'm going to miss you too," I said truthfully.

I _would_ miss her, I'd miss her like _crazy._

Jane sighed. "This place is so big...it will be so lonely without you."

I couldn't deny that, this place _was_ lonely when you were alone.

"You can call me anytime. I'll keep you company. And we can video chat if you like when I get off work." I said encouragingly.

Jane only sighed.

"We can do that...but...I'll still really miss you," she said.

"I'll miss you more." I replied sadly.

We talked for about another half hour. Finally I noticed Jane's breathing had become deep and steady. She was sleeping in my arms. I smiled and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead before leaning over and flipping of the lamp on the nightstand. I slept for five hours before my alarm went off. I woke and silenced it immediately. I was glad to notice it hadn't woken Jane. It was only four a.m. and I wanted Jane to get her rest. I knew she was tired. I showered and dressed as quietly as I could. When I was ready to leave I pulled my elevator key off my key chain and left it for Jane with a note on the nightstand. I'd written down the numbers for Addison, James, Allison at my Foundation, and the manager of the hotel. I wanted to make sure Jane had everything she needed. Finally I wrote on last thing on the paper, it was a simple one liner, but it carried the weight of the world.

"_Here is the key to our apartment and the key to my heart,_" I wrote simply and left the letter on the nightstand with the elevator key on top.

I smiled down at Jane's sleeping body. She looked so peaceful. I brushed a few wild strands of Jane's hair from her face leaned over and kissed her cheek lightly.

"I'll see you Thursday little angel," I said softly in Jane's ear.

I left quietly. I thought of Jane the entire flight to Boston.

I missed her so much already.

I had dreamed of her all night. They were good dreams.

I smiled.


	7. Puppy

**Jane**

I was awakened suddenly by a hand shaking me and not to lightly. I sat up with a start. My eyes were blurry and unfocused from my long peaceful hours of sleep and it took me a second to realized where I was. For a moment I was panicked. I couldn't remember how I got here and where _here_ actually was. Nothing around me looked familiar and the huge bed I was in certainly wasn't mine. I thought I had been kidnapped or something for a second until my eyes finally focused and my mind caught up with me. Then I was relieved, I knew where I was. I was in Maura's bed, Maura's huge, beautiful, comfortable bed.

I smiled thinking about how I must have fallen asleep in Maura's arms the night before. I remembered the sound of her voice in my ear, I remembered the way her fingers felt running through my hair. I remembered the way she would tease me about certain things and laugh at all my jokes with a lighthearted pleasant melodious voice. I remembered the way I wrapped my arm around her waist as I lay curled next to her, I could still feel the tight muscles of her abdomen flex under the impossibly soft silk of her nightgown. I smiled thinking of Maura, then my smile turned upside down. I remembered that she was gone, gone for four long days. I became sad...I missed her already.

"Miss...Miss you get up now...da Doctor say you eat breakfast before you see attorney," an unfamiliar voice sounded in my ear.

I was shocked for a moment. Who the hell was talking to me?

A short stout older woman of Latin descent bustled out of Maura's in suite bathroom with an arm full of laundry. She was wearing a clean pressed maids uniform and weird little white sneakers on her feet. There were streaks of grey in her dark hair and her face was pinched in a permanent frown. I sat up straight my eyes wide and my heart beating quickly. Who the hell was this?

"Miss Jane...da Doctor say you must eat breakfast before car come for you!" the woman said in broken english thick with a spanish accent.

I just looked at her staring at me from the bedroom doorway with an arm full of laundry. Some of that laundry were my clothes from yesterday I noticed. What the hell was she doing with my clothes? I needed my damn clothes. And how did she know my name and my business? And how did she get into Maura's apartment? It was weird...it was all so weird.

"Who _are_ you?" I exclaimed with a groggy sleepy voice.

I dug at my eyes with my knuckles trying to make sure I wasn't imagining what I was seeing. I wasn't I realized when my eyes found the older spanish looking woman again.

"I work here...I work for da Doctor. Doctor say you get up now...you get up now and eat breakfast. Car be here soon, you must hurry!" The woman said and not to kindly.

She had a bossy disposition. Her voice was sharp and commanding. The frown on her face wouldn't go away. I would have felt offended by her frown but I think that was just the way her face looked all the time. I would have thought she was funny ordering me around like she was but I was still too confused to get past the fact that she had woken me from my sleep and I was still in my pajamas with bed head and morning breath. I was more than a little startled. And why the hell did she have my damn clothes?

"You have my clothes...I _need_ my clothes." I said frowning at my jeans balled up in the woman's arms.

"NO! I wash dees clothes...other clothes for you in bathroom! You get up now... da Doctor say you eat breakfast before car get here to take you to attorney." The woman said her frown deepening.

What the hell was she talking about, what other clothes? I didn't bring any other fucking clothes with me. And why was Maura telling this woman to make me eat breakfast like I was a child or something? I was completely capable of deciding for myself when I was hungry and when I wasn't.

I sighed. I _was_ actually really hungry.

I grumbled.

"_What_ other clothes, I didn't _bring_ any other clothes!" I said frowning back at the woman.

"Bell boy bring dem dis morning while you sleeping. Get up now...da Doctor say..."

"...Yeah yeah da Doctor say I eat breakfast before car arrive to take me to attorney." I said mocking the woman in a level tone and rolling my eyes.

The woman snorted at me.

"You have smart mouth." she said narrowing her eyes at me, "You will be good for da Doctor," the woman said.

Her lips turned up into some weird expression. I think she was supposed to be smiling, but it didn't look like much of a smile. It looked like a grimace or something.

I chuckled.

"What is your name?" I asked bringing my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms around them as I studied who I assumed was Maura's maid.

"Consuela," she said still grimacing at me. "You call me Miss Connie," she said nodding her head proudly.

"You get up _now_... da Doctor say..."

"...ALRIGHT _ALRIGHT!"_ I said swinging my legs out of the bed and stretching deeply.

I hadn't felt this rested and refreshed in ages...like _ages_ and ages. I studied Maura's bedroom as I blinked more of the sleep from my eyes. I really just wanted to curl back under the covers in Maura's crazy big mahogany hand carved bed but...Miss Connie was annoying as hell and I was hungry and I had to pee so I figured it would just be best to get up.

Maura's bedroom was huge, It was like the size of my entire loft apartment. The walls were painted a gorgeous blue and the molding was a clean spotless white. The hardwood floors were a deep reddish colored wood. I had no idea what the hell kind of wood...I knew it was the kind I could never afford though. There was a white marble framed gas fire-place below the ridiculously large flat screen tv on the far wall in front of the bed. In the corner to my right there were two very antique looking chairs positioned around an old-looking writing-table. Over my shoulder my breath caught again when I noticed the view. The entire wall was nothing but a window. One huge wall sized window. I could see the bright sky of a clear blue morning and sunshine bombarded the entire bedroom. What was weird was that it seemed like the window was tinted, but it didn't look like it was tinted the night before when I stared at the starry sky while I was cradled next to Maura's warm body. I was blown away by the view this morning even more so than I had been last night.

I got up and walked around the bed to get a better look. I tripped a little bit over the baggy to long pajama's the bell boy brought me last night, but I managed to stay on my feet. I pressed my forehead and my hands against the surprisingly cool glass of the window and looked out. I was amazed. I could see wisps of cloud blowing by right outside the window. Below me the bustling city of New York looked like a far away dream. The cars looked tiny, the people looked like ants. I felt so...so tall staring out the window. I felt like I was looking down from the heavens. I felt like I was on top of the world. I felt so...so _weird_ but so _good._ I wanted to go on looking out the window but that annoying voice interrupted me again.

"Miss...you must get washing and dressing and eating breakfast. Da Doctor say..."

"...Jesus _Christ_ Consuela I'm going...I'm_ going_," I wailed pulling myself from the window and eying Maura's maid unhappily. She was so damn pushy.

Consuela only eyed me back. She wasn't intimidated by my bad attitude at all. I thought I was feeling myself start to like her a little bit.

"Da Doctor leave note for you on nightstand...read and take showa...I make you breakfast!" Miss Connie said bossily as she turned and walked away with her arm full of laundry.

I was left standing in my baggy pajama's rolling my eyes after the woman.

"_Good Grief_," I thought.

I walked over to the night stand next to my side of the bed and picked up an oddly shaped key.

"_What's this_?" I wondered

I sat back on the edge of the bed and read the letter. Maura's handwriting was impossibly neat and perfect. I smiled. Of course it fucking was. Everything _about_ Maura was neat and perfect...except when she was pissed. I shuddered thinking of Maura's rage the afternoon before. That whole thing with the bell boy had been horrible. But I smiled thinking of how Maura bent her will for me and didn't fire Tyler. She was so sweet sometimes...when she wasn't _pissed!_

Maura left me a list of numbers for people I might need to contact while she was gone. I smiled; Maura seemed to be extremely thorough. I was grateful she left me Angela's doctor's number, I would have to call her soon. I wanted to check up on my baby.

I really wanted to go straight to the hospital and see Angela. I didn't want to meet with that slick ass lawyer without Maura. Even more so I just wanted to spend the day with my baby. I knew I still wouldn't be able to hold her...Addison told me so the night before. But I could go on just staring at Angela all day long and be content that at least she was alive. I sighed thinking of my baby. I smiled thinking of Maura and how she saved Angela's life. I'd never be able to repay that woman for everything she had done...but I could try. I _would_ try.

Maura never made me feel like I owed her anything but even still...I knew I did. I owed her my _life_ in repayment for the life of my child that she saved for me. It helped that Maura was so beautiful and I liked her as a person...except when she was _pissed_...I didn't like that part at _all._

I read the simple one liner Maura wrote on the paper after all the numbers. I smiled hard and blushed a little. I folded my hand around the little key and kissed my knuckles. I would have to keep this thing safe...it was precious to me.

I found clothes hanging on a hook in Maura's ridiculous in suite bathroom. That bathroom was huge and every surface was marble or granite, even the floor. The shower its self was all glass widows with like a million jets sticking out everywhere. It was the craziest shower I'd ever seen. There was a huge claw foot bathtub in one corner and a jacuzzi big enough for four people in the other. I smiled. I'd have to try that thing out later.

The clothes hanging up for me were nicer than anything I'd ever worn in my life. By the time I got out of the steaming hot, extremely relaxing shower and dried myself off with an Egyptian cotton towel, I felt like a princess for real. I smelled like the expensive body wash Maura left for me and my hair had never felt so soft after using the conditioner and shampoo I found in the shower. Maura had somehow left me a hair brush and a toothbrush and toothpaste and lotion on the granite counter top. I didn't remember any of that stuff from the night before. When had all that happened?

I lotioned my skin and blow dried my hair and smiled at myself in the mirror. I felt so pretty in that moment. I pulled on the clothes Maura left for me. I couldn't believe how much they were actually my style. I studied myself in the mirror. I was wearing close-fitting but not uncomfortable soft black slacks, a form-fitting simple white button down shirt and a nicely cut black jacket. Everything fit perfectly like it had been sized and measured just for my body. I looked at the tag under the sleeve of my jacket and my eyes went wide when I saw what the purple label read.

"Prada," it said.

I burst out laughing.

Really? Fucking _Prada? _I put on the cute little pair of Saddle Oxfords I found in the brand new shoe box on the far counter. They fit perfectly...and they were so _awesome_. I looked at myself in the mirror again. I looked fucking _hot! _I wondered how Maura knew this was just my style? I didn't have time to think about it because Miss Connie's voice sounded in my ear again.

"_Miss Jane_," she screeched "You come have breakfast _now_...Da Doctor say you too skinny,"

"_Or course she did_," I mumbled under my breath thinking of how vehemently Maura insisted I eat vegetables the night before.

I couldn't believe she actually won that argument. I had a feeling Maura didn't lose many arguments though...even so...neither did I.

I'd never admit it to her but...my dinner had been _fantastic_. I actually ate all of it. I knew Maura had been pleased, I could tell by the way she smiled just a little every time I took a bite. She never threw it in my face though. She was gracious at least. Maura had been more than satisfied that at least I'd eaten my veggies...she saw no need to hit me with the 'I-told-you-so'!

I rolled my eyes hearing Miss Connie's revelation about what Maura said to her, but I made my way through the huge apartment to the kitchen anyway. Heavenly scents filled my nose. My mouth watered and my stomach grumbled. I was _starving! _I found Miss Connie standing over the flat top stove grilling up something that looked and smelled like food sex for my mouth.

"_Hell yes_!" I thought to myself as I sat behind the granite counter top in a bar stool.

"Whatcha making?" I asked excitedly.

Miss Connie looked over her shoulder at me studying me levelly.

"Da doctor say you to eat fruit_...I _say you eat bacon and eggs...you too _skinny_...look like stick! How da doctor love you if you fall apart like skeleton!" she scoffed.

I rolled my eyes. I would have argued but I didn't want to eat fruit. I wanted to eat bacon and eggs. I decided that Miss Connie and I would keep that secret among ourselves. I didn't want to get anymore hotel employees in trouble and I damn sure wanted the bacon.

Miss Connie took a break from her cooking for a second and walked to a cabinet and pulled out a coffee mug. She put the mug under some kind of weird contraption and pulled a lever. Steaming hot black liquid flowed into the coffee cup and heavenly scents of aromatic coffee beans filled my nose.

"_Hell yeah_," I thought again as Miss Connie slid the cup across the counter to me.

She opened the fridge and produced a very dainty looking pouring glass filled with thick white cream and laid it in front of me. She slid what looked like a crystal serving dish full of sugar at me. I smiled greedily and thanked her before I began preparing my coffee. It was the best tasting coffee I'd ever had in my life. I sighed and closed my eyes holding up the cup to my nose and inhaling the sweet scents pouring out of it. I was in heaven.

Miss Connie talked on and on about how skinny I was and how pretty I was and how I should eat more to "please da doctor" all throughout my breakfast. She told me about how 'da doctor' never brought a woman here, I was the first apparently. That made me smile, but I didn't respond much. I was to busy gulping down mouthfuls of food. Everything was just soooo good. I couldn't believe my luck. I rarely ever got to eat breakfast at _my_ apartment. I couldn't afford to eat more than once a day. And that was usually Raman Noodles or some cheap take out. I savored every bite of Miss Connies remarkable cooking. I complimented her once or twice but the woman only grimaced at me and made comments about how she had to fatten me up. I just chuckled.

Finally a buzzing sound echoed from somewhere in the apartment. Miss Connie moved to some kind of speaker in the wall on the far side of the kitchen and pushed a button.

" Ello?" she said in that weird accent of hers.

A voice responded immediately.

"Percy Parker for Jane Rizzolli," I mans voice sounded through the speaker.

"Dis for you," Miss Connie said motioning toward me. "You meet him outside...he take you to attorney." Miss Connie said clearing my dishes from in front of me.

"Ok I guess," I said uncertainly.

I wished Maura was with me. Things weren't quite as weird when she was around. I didn't know how to talk to a guy like that slick ass James. I wanted my wolf beside me. I returned to the bedroom and gathered my cell phone and the elevator key and my apartment key. I put the elevator key on my key chain, grabbed my wallet, stuck it in my back pocket and headed toward the elevator.

Miss Connie met me by the elevator with a traveling coffee cup and a brown paper bag folded over with some unknown contents inside.

"Dis for you...I not be here by time you get back...you rememba and eat! You look like stick!" Miss Connie said shooing me into the elevator.

I didn't even know what the hell to say. I just chuckled as the elevator doors closed. What the hell had my life become?

Percy Parker turned out to be a stern looking man in a black suit and piercing eye. I climbed into the back of the limo and sat back quietly enjoying the pleasant ride to the attorney's office. Maura's limo was crazy nice, all white leather seats were complimented with pretty, dark, wood grain trim and a small flat screened tv in a corner. I didn't bother turning on the tv, I liked riding in silence.

I reflected on my life over the last couple of days and couldn't believe how much my life had changed. It almost felt like everything was spinning so fast and so far out of my normal comfort zone that I wondered if I were actually living in a dream. Here I was in the back of Maura's _private_ limo, being carted around by her _private _driver, to see her _private _attorney, after being served breakfast in her _private_ upscale top floor apartment, that was made for me by her_ private _housekeeper. I thought about the three packs of Raman noodles in my apartment and the stale saltine crackers that had been my staple diet for so long I couldn't even remember. Life was just...life was just so _weird_ for me right now. But I liked it.

I thought again of Maura. I really did wish that she were with me. I had no idea what was in store for me with James and I was feeling more and more uncomfortable about the whole situation. Maura told me last night to comply with him but still...I didn't really _know_ that guy. I knew we had a lot to discuss about the whole custody of Angela thing. That, in and by its self, made me really nervous. Maura assured me that it was only a paper work thing for DCS but still...it was so _weird_. I hoped we could find a way around that. I made a mental note to ask the slick ass lawyer. I had to try at least. Angela was _my_ child...I didn't want to give her up...even if it was just on paper.

I called Addison on my cell phone on the way to the attorney's office. She didn't seem surprised at all to hear from me or upset that I had called. She informed me that she had actually already spoken to Maura this morning. Apparently Maura called her as soon as her plane landed in Boston to check up on Angela's condition. My heart melted and my eyes watered when Addison told me that. I couldn't believe Maura cared so much. I guess I really was important to her. Addison said Angela was doing fine...actually she said Angela was doing better than expected. My heart soared. Addison promised to meet me in the infant ICU later to talk to me personally. I appreciated that. I thanked her graciously for all her hard work and for saving my baby. After Maura...Addison was the second most awesome person in my life...well...third most awesome, Angela always came first.

James' office was on the eighteenth floor of some huge building complex. His office was ritzy and spoke of immense wealth. I imagined he was paid very well to pull strings they way he did. I can only imagine how much he was charging Maura for everything he'd pushed through the legal system for me. James met me in a large conference room with a huge expensive looking conference table in the middle surrounded by comfortable leather chairs. He greeted me in another sharp suit and shook my hand showing me all the pearly white teeth in that car salesman's smile again. I was as polite as I could be with him, I still felt uncomfortable but...he was very friendly and tried to make me feel welcome.

There were several files sprawled out on the table in front of us and James gabbed away as he studied them.

"So...we've rescheduled the interview with DCS for Tuesday of next week. That gives us just enough time to get everything in order." James said pleasantly.

He slid me some paperwork and a pen. I studied the documents for a second. They were some kind of forms from the Isles Foundation of Medical Research and Family Assistance. Mostly everything was already filled in. James explained it to me.

"So this one we are going to have to date from a few months ago. It's the form all families fill out when asking the Isles foundation for family assistance. Don't worry about the fact that we are fudging the dates...no one is ever going to see this document for themselves. I'll see to that. We just need to be able to say we have one on file for you and establish a timeline of when you and Maura met. A more...appropriate timeline," James added as an after thought.

I raised my eyebrows at him. James only smiled and kept going.

"Allison has already gone through the computer files and added you and Angela as having entered the Family Assistance Program three months ago on the date that's shown on the document here," He said pointing to the date.

My heart stopped. That was Angela's birthday. February 24...that was Angela's birthday.

"That's her birthday...did you know that?" I asked looking at him sideways.

"Whose birthday?" He asked frowning.

"Angela's, my _daughters_...that's her birthday." I repeated.

James thumbed through some more files.

"Oh...so it is, well that works even better. Don't worry about all that though...no one is ever going to see this paperwork. So the story is you met Dr. Isles at a coffee shop. You two got to talking and somehow the subject came up that you didn't have proper health insurance for Angela...it's believeable because you really didn't. Maura told you about her foundation and you checked it out...blah blah blah...on and on and you two became close friends. The back story isn't as important as how we make it seem in the present. I take it you're enjoying Maura's apartment?" James smiled at me.

I rolled my eyes.

"It's a bit..it's a bit much actually," I said truthfully.

I wasn't lying...it_ was_ a bit freaking much as compared to what I was used to.

James laughed.

"You'll get used to it. I think Maura really likes having you. It was her suggestion that you move in there. I told her you only needed to move into one of her other apartments...but she seemed adamant about you staying with her. I gotta say...she's never been like this before. _I've_ never even been inside her apartment. I think she's got a boner for you or something," James chuckled to himself.

I smiled. That was a wildly inappropriate comment, but I smiled anyway. I was imagining Maura with a boner...I laughed out loud.

James seemed pleased that I enjoyed his joke.

"Anyway...we're going to have to get your stuff moved in sometime this week. We can't do it today...you have to many other things to do. I know Maura said you were leaving for the hospital after this. Then you're going shopping with Albert for baby stuff and what not...that will take all afternoon. Albert is a bit of a...well he's a handful but he his nice enough. Then you're going back to the apartment with the movers. They're going take whatever furniture you don't want out of Angela's bed room to make room for her new things. Tomorrow you'll meet with Allison the director of the foundation in the morning and then I'll meet you at your apartment so you can show me what you want packed and moved and everything. Then you have the rest of the day to yourself. I imagine you'll want to spend it with Angela." James smiled.

I smiled back. I wanted to spend _every_ second with Angela actually. It sounded like James had the schedule for my whole life written down for me. It was strange but I wasn't resentful. Everything sounded so exciting. I still wished Maura was with me though. James seemed nice enough, I wasn't uncomfortable with him anymore but still...he wasn't Maura.

"So how does this whole custody thing work?" I asked finally.

That's what I really wanted to talk about.

"Does it mean Maura can keep my child from me?" I inquired warily.

James scrunched up his face.

"No...firstly she wouldn't do that. Secondly it wouldn't be legal. She's only receiving guardianship because she's the closest person to you...at least that's how we're going to tell the story..._and_ you live with her. If circumstances of your relationship were to change so would the custody situation. Think of it more as a guardian angel sort of situation. You keep your child and Maura's just there to watch over the both of you. I'm moving some judges down town to push this thing through quickly. I've gotten them down to you two having to do the initial interview and a home inspection...we're going to do them both at the same time so you don't have to see them twice in a week. Then there will be once a month check ups for six months then primary custody returns to you automatically when they finally admit you aren't some kind of child abuser." James sighed and rolled his eyes.

I was perplexed.

"How did you get this to happen I thought they were going to take my baby?" I asked curiously.

James smiled.

"As of now you are one of the most well protected people in the state. You're so insulated a bomb couldn't knock you down. I don't know what you did to Maura, but...I hope you appreciate her..." James said "...and me," he added as an after thought laughing at himself.

I smiled. I did, I certainly did appreciate them both.

"Well, what happens if they don't believe our story...what then?" I inquired.

I wanted to know every possible outcome of every possible circumstance. I wanted to know everything!

James sighed heavily.

"I'll know if things are going foul before it gets out of hand...then...then you and Maura will have to make some big decisions. The best bet is legal adoption!" he said fixing me with a serious gaze.

I was taken aback.

"_Legal adoption_?" I asked incredulously.

James nodded his head. "If you and Maura were to become joint custodians of Angela no one would argue further. At least that's the idea. We don't know who made that phone call to DCS. Those calls are confidential but I've got a guy working on it. I don't know what that dick who made the claim of abuse knows about you but...my money is we'll catch that person and squash this whole thing before it gets too deep." James said with an air or confidence.

Then his face became clouded and troubled. He stopped talking for a moment and stared down at the files in front of him.

"Is there any chance...Do you have any enemies that might want to do something like this to you?" James asked turning back to me and looking curious.

"I don't have any friends. I keep to myself since...well I've been alone for five years." I said puzzled by the question. I wasn't always the nicest person...but I didn't have any outright enemies.

I really had no idea who would make such a claim against me. I thought for a while and became trouble myself.

"Does...Does Dr. Isles have any enemies?" I inquired.

James seemed put off and startled by the question. He frowned and went back to studying the file in front of him.

"Let's not...lets not worry about that," James brushed off the question nonchalantly.

"Besides, Dr. Isles seems particularly invested in you...she'll protect you...you and Angela." James smiled that slick ass smile of his.

I thought for a moment. I still wasn't convinced. Besides James seemed strangely evasive about the last question I asked him.

"Legal adoption...don't you have to be married to someone before they can claim legal adoption over a child that isn't theirs?" I asked perplexed that Maura would even consider something like that.

James nodded his head in agreement even if it did look like it was paining him to do so.

"Yes...yes it does!" he sighed heavily

I was blown away. This really was to much. Maura couldn't possibly be willing to do something like that for me. Would_ I_ even be willing to do something like that? James must have noticed how surprised and uncomfortable I looked because he immediately moved to comfort me.

"Hey relax. I'm working very hard to keep this all together. The chances of this going any further than a few house visits and a good story are very slim." James said leaning in and smiling at me.

Then he added with a rather devilish grin, "Besides...you could do worse than being legally married to the great Dr. Isles," James laughed.

I couldn't stop myself from laughing too.

"Would she really do that? I mean...would she really consider that?" I asked.

I was curious. I was...I couldn't help but wonder. Did I and my daughter really mean that much to Maura?

"It was her idea actually. If you really want to know...she pushed me to do this. Maura is...she can be quite a handful to argue with sometimes." James said sighing and shaking his head as if to shake out some bad memory.

I giggled.

"Yeah...I figured that one out already." I smiled to myself

After all the paperwork was signed I shook James' hand goodbye and made my way back to the limo.

I opened the little brown bag Miss Connie handed me before I left the apartment. I grinned wickedly when I saw there was a delicious looking pastry inside. I ate the whole thing in four bites.

Addison met me in the infant ICU just like she promised. I smiled when I saw her long bright red hair and slender frame approaching me.

"Good morning Jane," Addison greeted me pleasantly shaking my hand.

I shook her hand happily smiling like a little kid.

"I wanted to thank you in person for everything you've done for Angela...for Angela and for me. You saved my baby's life!" I gushed. I tried not to cry but I felt like I was shaking the hand of my hero.

Addison returned a smile of her own.

"Would you like to go in and see her?" she asked me kindly.

My heart soared.

"Really?" I exclaimed

"I can get you suited up in sterile scrubs, you won't be able to hold her and I have to stay with you the whole time for legal reasons...but you can at least sit with her and talk to her for a while. Would you like that?" Addison asked.

"Yes!" I exclaimed excitedly.

I felt the tears streaming down my face. I was just so happy. I thought I'd only be able to see Angela through the glass. I imagined Addison had pulled some strings for me herself to make this happen.

I sat with Angela for three hours. She never opened her eyes, she hardly ever moved but I just sat there and watched the steady rise and fall of her little chest. I wanted to reach in and run my fingers through her curly hair and whisper in her ear. But for the moment I was just content to go on watching her, and talking to her, and loving her. I told her all about her new room, and her new apartment, and how she'd be able to eat better. I told her how I had a new job and the birthday party I'd throw for her next year. I told her how she had health insurance now, and that she'd never have to want for anything again because Mommy would be able to provide for her. Tears streamed down my face the whole time I talked to her. I wanted to hold her, I wanted to cradle her against me, and wanted to feel her heartbeat with my own. I wanted to feel her warm skin against my body and her often sticky hands of my face. I wanted to kiss her forehead and sing her lullabies and read her bedtime stories. I knew I would be able to do all that soon...but soon wasn't soon enough. I just wanted to hold my baby.

Finally Addison touched my shoulder lightly and told me the limo was waiting for me outside. I stared at Angela twenty minutes longer. I just didn't want to leave her. I loved her so much. But I finally let Addison coax me from the room after I kissed the top of Angela's incubation chamber. Addison told me all about how Angela was getting stronger by the hour and how I might even get to hold her Wednesday. My heart soared. I hugged the woman's thin body against me for several long moments. Addison only laughed and hugged me back. She was a sweet woman. Addison promised to meet me again tomorrow and I made my way down to the limo with a fluttering heart and a light step. This was the best day ever.

When I crawled into the limo I was surprised to find a man there already waiting for me.

"OH my GOD you are GOR-GEOUS!" the man raved at me as soon as I sat down and closed the door.

He had a loud effeminate voice and was extremely animated. He was wearing a tight-fitting very flamboyantly colored silk dress shirt and tight dress pants with shiny red boots. He was middle-aged and his blond hair was stylishly cut. He looked like he was wearing eyeliner and foundation. I knew instantly that he was gay...like _super_ gay. He reminded me of one of those queer eye for the straight guy dudes with his wild hand gestures and fluttery movements. I was taken aback by the power of his personality.

"Girl-FRIEND! I'm going to have so much fun dressing up that body of yours," the man said motioning his rather limp wrist towards me.

I found myself smiling nervously.

"GIRL you have just got it ALL going_ ON_!" he raved as he cheesed at me.

I giggled. Who the fuck was this guy?

He was sitting across from me with his legs crossed and had a glass of champagne in his hand. He was the prettiest man I'd ever seen and soooo gay!

"MMMmmm girl I see why the Doctor snatched you up...you are just DE-LIS-CIOUS!" the man said snapping his fingers with every syllable of the last word.

I couldn't stop myself from laughing out right.

"_What the hell_?" I thought

"I'm Albert," The man said extending his hand.

He didn't extend his hand for a normal handshake. It was more like he offered me his fingers to kiss like a lady would. I laughed again. I took his fingers and shook them awkwardly.

"I'm...I'm Jane," I said unsteadily still trying to figure out what the hell was going on.

"Oooo Girl! WE are going to have so much _fuuuuun_!" the man practically squeaked in that high pitched effeminate voice of his.

"Are we?" I asked grinning a little.

"YES girl. Let's be _naughty_!" He said sliding open a compartment under his seat and producing another champagne glass.

Albert slid open another compartment next to him and produced a bottle of champagne. He poured me a very full glass of the bubbly liquid and handed it to me with a lop sided grin. I thought he might actually be wearing lip gloss.

"_Good Grief_!" I laughed inside my head.

I took the glass and drank. It was the tastiest alcohol ever. It burned and bubbled all the way down my throat.

"Oh! That's good!" I exclaimed

"YES bitch that's that Dom Perignon!" Albert said taking another long sip from his glass.

"WOW!" I said giggling.

"So...where are we going?" I asked curiously.

"GIRL I'm taking you to the best Thai place in the city...then we are going SHOOOOPING!" Albert exclaimed shaking his hands wildly and bouncing in his seat like shopping was his favorite thing in the whole freaking world.

Oh boy what had I gotten myself into.

Lunch was ridiculous. Albert seemed to know everybody in the whole restraunt. He kept parading me around different tables and exclaiming loudly over how gorgeous I was and how sexy my long legs were and how he was taking me shopping to 'dress me up' as he called it. Everyone he introduced me too was polite and shook my hand and told me how pretty I was. I thought I caught a few of those people's eyes, both men and women, lingering on my body a little more than necessary with side ways grins. It was weird it was all so _weird_, but they seemed to have all heard of Maura and exclaimed how lucky I was to be her girlfriend. I started to correct them all and tell them she _wasn't_ my girlfriend...then I thought better of it. Maybe it was best if people thought Maura and I were in a relationship for Angela's sake. It would make our story and our living situation less strange to outsiders. I just decided to go with it. Why the hell not? I sort of liked all the attention...and I liked Albert's loud gay ass! He was ridiculously entertaining.

Albert raved all through lunch about Doctor Isles and everything she'd done for him. Apparently they went to school together in France for like five years when his family had money. I guess his family lost their fortune when the dot-com boom went under, but Maura convinced her mother to send Albert to interior design school and he built his own interior design firm from the ground up. I couldn't believe Maura had done that. Well then again...yes I could. Maura seemed to have some strange compulsion to help those less fortunate that her...I could attest to that better than anyone else. It was just nice to hear that she had done something so selfless for someone else. It made me feel less...less...less like a whore.

I spoke very little through lunch. There wasn't much room to speak anyway with Albert's incessant gabbing. I didn't mind though. He was interesting and dynamic.

Albert dragged me to the most ridiculous upscale baby store ever. I was floored when I first walked in. Everything was so...Good Grief!

"Bitch this is the _baddest_ baby boutique in the city. Just look at this bassinette," Albert raved skipping over to the most ridiculous looking thing I'd ever seen.

Yes...he did actually skip!

The bassinette Albert was exclaiming over was all frilly, and lacy, and_ huge,_ and had pink poka dots all over the expensive linen of the cover.

"That thing is _horrible,"_ I exclaimed

"GIRL paaaa-LEASE! This thing is the hottest item on the market right now. There's a three-month waiting list for this bad boy. We can walk out of here with one _today_ though girl I got _connections."_ Albert said fluttering around the bassinette and clapping his hands excitedly like he wanted to crawl in the thing himself.

I rolled my eyes.

"How much is it?" I asked incredulously.

Albert looked at me like I'd said some forbidden curse word or something.

"GIRRRRRL! Money ain't no object for _you_ honey child...you got yourself a _suga_ daddy!" Albert emphasized the word 'suga' with another flamboyant wave of his arm and the snap of his fingers.

I laughed outright. He was just so ridiculously gay. But the fun kind of gay that just made people giggle. Even still though...I didn't want to be over the top about my spending. I wanted to be able to pay Maura back and I had a feeling that bassinette cost more than I'd make in a month working at the foundation. I shuffled over to a solid oak crib and snuck a look at the price tag. I almost passed out when I saw the number.

"_Five thousand nine hundred eighty dollars_?" I swore in my head.

Oh _hell_ no we had to get the hell outta this place!

Albert was off skipping around the store exclaiming loudly over this thing or that thing. I suddenly felt very sweaty and faint. This place was ridiculous. I didn't want _anything_ in here. Angela didn't _need_ anything in here. She'd been a perfectly happy baby in the second-hand crib I got from the Good Will and the blankets and sheets I bought from Target. Besides she was freaking one year old, what the hell did a one year old need with a six thousand dollar crib? They wouldn't know the difference!

I finally caught up to Albert exclaiming loudly about an over the top baby changing station that was hand carved hardwood and antique looking. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"Can we get _out_ of here please? Can't we go to Target or something for baby stuff,"

Albert gasped and clutched his chest. His eyes went wide and he actually took three steps back as if I'd knocked the wind from his sails. He looked like I'd slapped his mother in the face or something.

"GIRL! You did NOT just say the T word to me!" he said breathlessly.

"What?" I exclaimed.

"HONNNEY CHILD! Dr. Isles don't own _nothing_ from Target sweetheart! You need to get with the PRO-gram bitch and stop trippin! Besides she told me to bring you here specifically. Only the best for her baby's baby!" Albert said skipping off again and exclaiming over some other ridiculously expensive thing.

"_Of course she did," _I mumbled under my breath.

I sighed heavily. How would I ever be able to pay her back for all of this?

After three very very long hours and four glasses of champagne later I'd finally gotten Albert to agree to buy the cheapest of everything in that God awful baby boutique. I was shocked when a moving truck pulled up out front and four men jumped out and started hustling boxes out the store and into the truck.

"What are they doing?" I asked curiously.

"OH sweetheart. You get the items on stock. NO-body gets the items on stock. I'm sure you bumped a ton of people down on the waiting list to get this stuff today. Ain't you a lucky little diva!" Albert said pursing his lips and studying me proudly.

I felt my palms begin to sweat again.

"_Oh! Good grief_!" I swore under my breath.

It was almost eight o'clock in the evening when the boxes of Angela's new things were hustled into the apartment by the movers. I had to ask them to take everything in Angela's bedroom away to make room for all the new stuff. It seemed like forever before I could get everyone to leave me the hell alone. Albert had left me with a flutter of snapping fingers and loud exclamations of how next time we were going shopping for me. I'd smiled nervously at that and hustled him back into the elevator.

I collapsed onto the couch exhausted by everything that happened during the day. I thought about so many things, so much had happened. I'd signed over temporary guardianship of Angela to Maura, I got to talk to my baby, I met the craziest gay man every (I loved him though in a weird way) and I'd just run up a twenty thousand dollar bill at the boogiest baby store on the face of the planet. The last part irked me a to no end.

I really _really_ didn't want to do that. I didn't make twenty thousand dollars the whole _year_ last year and I'd just let Albert talk me into spending that much on a one year old. The whole thing was insane. I felt so guilty deep down inside. I wished I hadn't done it at all but Albert was so adamant and so dynamic in personality that I didn't feel like I had much of a choice. I also thought about all those nicely dressed people lunching at the Thai place that now thought I was Maura's girlfriend. I imagined how much gossip was going around Maura's circle of high society friends. I wondered if she would be mad at me for not correcting their assumptions.

Mostly...mostly I thought about how much I missed Maura. I'd managed to get through the day on my own but...it would have been so much easier and so much nicer with her beside me. I looked around the living room. The place was so big and I was all alone and I had no one to cuddle up next to tonight. I thought about how sexy Maura was crawling into bed with that crazy hot negligee she had been wearing. I couldn't believe how beautiful she was as I lay wrapped in her arms. I couldn't believe how lucky I was every time I felt her fingers run through my hair. I couldn't believe how sweet she was every time she smiled at me. I couldn't believe how many things...how many other dirty little things...I felt as I lay with my arm wrapped around her waist and the scent of her body filled my nose. I sighed thinking of Maura. I missed her so much.

The phone rang. I reached over on the side table, picked up the cordless and answered it.

"Hello?"

"Am I speaking with Jane Rizzolli?" A familiar female voice asked on the line.

I think it was the same girl that I'd asked to send up a bell boy yesterday.

"Yes...speaking?" I said politely.

"Dr. Isles asks that you turn to channel three." the woman said pleasantly.

"What? Why?" I asked curiously finding a remote and flipping on the tv.

"Just turn to channel three." The woman said and hung up.

I turned to channel three and my heart leaped. Maura was looking right at me. She smiled when I squealed in excitement.

"Oh my God Maura...how are you on tv?" I asked bewildered.

Maura laughed.

"I'm not on tv...this is a wireless connection run through the internet. I'm actually watching you on my lap top. Can you see the little camera above the tv?" she asked me smiling at my shocked face.

I looked up above the tv. There _was_ a tiny little sensor device sitting above the television.

"Oh my God have you been spying on me?" I blurted out.

Maura laughed.

"NO! It doesn't work that way. It only works if you turn to channel three and I'm online sweetheart. I'm not big brother I'm not watching your every move." Maura smiled at me.

I laughed nervously. Maura was dressed in a pretty red dress and tall red heels. She was sitting in an antique looking armchair in what looked like an expertly designed living room. Maura looked tired, but she was still so pretty sitting there with her sexy legs crossed and her hazel eyes shining at me. I found my self leaning forward and studying her closely. I wished she was with me, I wished she was in bed with her arm wrapped around me. But I was glad at least that I was getting to see her.

"You look tired Maura, how was your day?" I asked concerned by how weary she really did look.

A sympathetic expression showed on Maura's face and she cocked her head to the side studying me for a moment before she spoke.

"It's sweet of you to ask about me Jane. I just got home from work actually. I had three autopsies waiting for me as soon as I walked into the department this morning." she sounded so tired.

My heart broke for her.

"That sounds awful." I said. I knew my face was scrunched up with concern.

Maura only smiled at me.

"I like my work. It's just been...I've had quite a weekend," she laughed lightly.

I smiled through my guilt. I felt awful that it was my fault she was so tired.

"I'm sorry Maura. That's all my fault." I said sadly.

"NO! Don't say that. It's no one's fault. We do what we must to survive the day and keep moving forward. I don't blame you and you shouldn't blame yourself." She said sweetly trying to smile through her tired face.

I sighed. It _was_ my fault...no matter what Maura said, but I decided not to push.

"You...you look really pretty." I said shyly. I felt myself blushing.

The smile that covered Maura's face took my breath away.

"You look quite sharp yourself," Maura replied running her eyes over my body briefly.

I looked down at my clothes and blushed harder remembering it was Maura that somehow conjured up these clothes for me out of thin air.

"Did you...did you buy me this suit?" I asked timidly

Maura raised an eyebrow at me.

"Do you not like it?" she asked unsure of herself.

"No! No! It's not that it's just...it's a designer suit and...I'm happy wearing jeans and stuff you don't have to spoil me rotten." I said rolling my eyes a little.

Maura only laughed.

"I haven't even begun to spoil you yet Miss Rizzolli. We'll get there later hopefully." she said sweetly.

I rolled my eyes again.

"But you _have_ spoiled me. That mean ass maid of yours made me breakfast this morning, and...and James hired a moving company to pack and move my stuff tomorrow, and...and you got me this suit...and you hired that bad ass Doctor to save my baby...and you hired that crazy gay guy to take me shopping for stuff for Angela at that boogie baby boutique. If I'm not spoiled I'd like to see someone who is!" I exclaimed to Maura's grinning face.

"How did it go with James?" She asked

"Oh...it was ok. You're...you're my babies temporary guardian now." I sighed heavily.

Maura looked concerned.

"Does this displease you?"

I thought for a moment.

"It's kinda weird I'm not going to lie but...I feel like it's all going to be ok. James is...he's quite the attorney." I scoffed.

Maura laughed.

"He's the best." she said nodding her head certainly.

I thought for a few moments, I sat silently staring at my hands.

"What's wrong Jane?" Maura asked growing concerned.

"I...tell me I'm not going to regret this...tell me signing over the guardianship of my child is what's best for her." I said looking back up at Maura.

Her face went a little droopy and she looked hurt for some reason.

"If you're wondering if I'm going to hurt you or take advantage of you you're wrong. I care about you Jane. I need you to understand that. Angela is yours and always will be." Maura tried to smile through her hurt.

I felt bad all of a sudden. I didn't want to hurt the woman that had shown me so much kindness.

I perked up.

"Addison let me go in and see Angela today. I got to sit with her for hours and talk to her and everything. I wish I could have held her but...Addison said maybe Wednesday I could hold her." I said happily.

I thought I saw tears behind Maura's eyes. It was a moment before she spoke.

"That makes me very happy Jane, I'm sure you're happy about that too."

"Yeah!" I grinned.

"How did the shopping trip go?" she asked me

I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"That guy Albert is a piece of work," I laughed.

Maura joined in my laughter.

"We spent...we spent a lot of money," I said hanging my head and lowering my eyes.

I suddenly felt very guilty again.

"Jane I already paid the bill an hour ago. Stop feeling guilty. I wouldn't have asked Albert to take you there if I didn't want the best for you and Angela." Maura said bluntly.

I looked up and smiled nervously at her.

"How will I ever pay you back for all that?" I whined.

Maura rolled her eyes.

"You won't because I wouldn't accept it. I don't give gifts expecting something in return." Maura stated plainly.

I sighed again. Maura was just _impossible_ sometimes. We went on talking for a long while. Maura told me all about her work and her business interest and various this and that's that I listened to open heartedly. I didn't know what half the stuff she was talking about meant but it was good to hear her voice. It made me feel less lonely in this huge place by myself. After a while I started yawning though.

"Are you tired Jane?" Maura asked

"NO!" I lied pouting a little

"You lie," Maura teased as she had done the night before.

I sighed.

"I wish you were here. I won't sleep tonight all alone in this place." I said sadly.

Maura cocked her head and smiled. It was an amused smile. What the hell did she find so damn funny?

At that very moment I heard that weird buzzing sound again.

"What was that?" I asked Maura as I looked around for the source of the noise.

"It's the intercom. Look on the far wall and push the call button and ask who it is."

I looked around and found the thing she was talking about. I got up and did as she said.

"Hello?" I ask uncertainly

"I have a delivery for a Miss Jane Rizzolli," A nice man's voice sounded through the intercom.

His voice sounded strangely familiar.

I ran back to the TV.

"What did you do?" I asked Maura curiously.

She only smiled at me.

"Push the green accept button. It will allow the elevator to come to the apartment." she stated calmly.

I sighed and ran back to the intercom and did as she said. Thirty seconds later that poor bell boy Tyler stepped out onto the marble floors of the front room holding a very large gift wrapped box.

"This is for you from Dr. Isles," he said handing me the box.

As soon as I took the box Tyler scurried back into the elevator and got the hell outta the apartment. I giggled a little.

I padded back down the hall and sat back on the couch setting the box down on the hard wood coffee table.

"What's in the box?" I asked excitedly

"Something to help you sleep tonight, open it," Maura urged.

I ripped at the box like a kid on Christmas morning. I pulled off the top and squealed with excitement when I saw what was inside. I giggled and kicked my legs and bounced up and down on the couch. A tiny little puppy put his paws over the edge of the box and whimpered at me. He was the cutest thing I'd ever seen. I giggled foolishly when I pulled him from the box and cradled him in my arms.

"Oh my God! Oh my GOD! OH MY GOD!" I exclaimed barely able to believe what I was holding in my arms.

The little brown puppy licked at my face and lips and yipped at me.

"Maura oh my God!" I said looking up at her with tear filled eyes.

Maura had tears in her own eyes I noticed. And her smile was...she looked so happy for me in that moment.

"Read the card," she urged.

I looked around in the box. I didn't see a card.

"Where is it?" I asked searching frantically

"It's on his collar," Maura said

I looked at the squirming puppies collar. There was indeed a small card tied to his collar. I pulled it off easily and started reading.

"_I'm a rescue puppy from the humane society. Dr. Isles wants you to know how sorry she is that she hurt you yesterday and she wants you to know that she believes in you and wishes you sweet dreams tonight."_

I started crying while the puppy licked my face.

I slept the whole night through with my puppy in my arms.

I named him Franklin Thomas after my brothers.


	8. I Made You Dinner!

**OMG this story got nominated for a Rizzle award...WHAAAAAT! Whomever nominated this story...HELL YEAH! I seriously cried like a bitch baby when I found out! Anyway...I don't anticipate winning...there are sooo many awesome stories nominated...most of them I follow myself. But it's awesome to think that someone out there likes my work enough to think I'm worthy of standing with the greats. Anyway...this is another stupid long chapter. It flip flops between Jane's POV and Maura's POV in the middle so pay attention. Also it gets really sweet at the end...but don't get to comfortable. I'll be introducing the antagonist soon...I can't wait. I hope you guys enjoy the chapter...let me know what you think...your ideas are what fuel the story. And with all that being said...here we go!**

**Jane**

"I_ kill _little rat dog...DIABLO!" Consuela screeched running around the apartment after Franklin Thomas with a kitchen knife in her hand.

I ran after her trying not to laugh.

Franklin Thomas was scurrying around the apartment yipping and barking in that high-pitched little puppy voice of his playing his favorite game of "Piss of Miss Connie,"

I'd just come back from visiting with Angela again to find piles of freshly washed laundry scattered all over the entire apartment. I knew little Franklin Thomas was to blame for the chaos. I'd stepped out the elevator to Miss Connie's screeches and wails of fury. Franklin Thomas ran right past me with his tongue hanging out of his mouth, and if I didn't know better I would think he was smiling. There was a pair of pink underwear wrapped around this back leg as he ran past and I'd burst out laughing. Little Franklin Thomas and I were of a same mind. Our new favorite way to amuse ourselves was frustrating Consuela as much as humanly possible.

Ever since I'd opened the box to find Franklin Thomas inside I'd been happier than I ever have in my life. My puppy was my buddy, and I loved his curly brown fur and his playful temperament. He followed me around everywhere in the apartment, except when he was busy infuriating Consuela. He seemed to love crouching down and getting a running jump at the drapes and biting them, he'd swing back and forth off the drapes by his teeth growling and tearing at them trying to pull them down. Ever since the first time he'd done that and ripped the entire set of drapes from the wall it was his favorite thing ever. Consuela had melted into a screaming screeching mess and I had laughed so hard my stomach hurt and tears poured out of my eyes. I laughed even harder when Consuela collapsed into a heap on the floor covered in drapes when she tried to put them back up. Franklin Thomas had run out from under the coffee table and attacked the drapes again wrapped up around Consuela's body. Franklin Thomas yipped and barked as Consuela screeched and cursed trying to untangle herself from the pile on the floor. You should have seen it...it was freaking hysterical.

Consuela had taken to calling Franklin Thomas 'Diablo' and I couldn't disagree with her reasoning. He _was_ a little devil dog, but I loved him so much. Besides it wasn't me he terrorized, it was always Consuela or the other hotel employees that dared enter the apartment. Franklin Thomas had taken to believing that the apartment was his territory and everyone else besides me was there for his amusement and mine. He'd pee'd...actually pee'd on a bell boys shoes yesterday and this morning he jumped on a different bell boy and knocked his serving tray of breakfast out of his hands to clatter and scatter all over the floor in a cacophony of noise and chaos. The bell boy almost cried as he crawled around on his hands and knees trying to gather up the remnants of my breakfast. Franklin Thomas was overjoyed at all the goodies scattered around for his delight. He ran around the bell boy in circles growling at him and gobbling down bits of bacon and toast and snapped at the poor boys fingers every time he tried to grab something that Franklin Thomas had decided was his own. After I managed to stop laughing I'd helped the bell boy clean up the mess, Consuela was busy screeching and hurling curses about "Diablo" behind us and I sort of felt guilty. Poor Michelle, the hotel manager, had come up to deliver Maura's mail herself and she had been run out of the apartment screaming when Franklin Thomas jumped up and grabbed the mail from her hands and started tearing it to pieces right in front of her. That dog never failed to make me laugh.

I was a little worried about what Maura would think of Franklin Thomas when she finally met him face to face. When Maura left Monday her apartment had been quiet and empty. Now it was nothing of the sort. Between Franklin Thomas' chaos, Consuela's constant screaming and antagonizing, and Albert's over the top redecorating, this apartment was nothing like it was Monday morning when Maura left. I know Maura got me Franklin Thomas so I wouldn't be so lonely without her, but still...I hoped she didn't live to regret it. Even though she and I talked constantly, I still had a feeling Maura had no idea what she was coming home to.

"**DIABLO!"** Consuela screeched as she chased down Franklin Thomas.

"Stop...STOP! I yelled between laughs.

Franklin Thomas was impossibly fast and Consuela never caught him, but it didn't stop her from trying and it didn't stop Franklin Thomas from antagonizing her. He was running around the living room in circles with a pair of Maura's underwear wrapped around his leg barking and yipping in his excitement. Consuela's short chubby body waddled by huffing and cursing and stabbing at the air with the knife. Her cheeks were red and her hair was falling out if it's normally neat bun and was clinging to her sweaty face. Consuela looked beside herself with fury and frustration.

"You _bad_ motha," Consuela said turning around and glaring at me angrily pointing the knife at me thrusting it forward with every word she spoke.

Her eyes were on fire and I noticed a very large red stain on her usually spotless maids uniform. I wondered how that happened, I had a feeling it had something to do with Franklin Thomas.

I'd been gone all day. I was busy with Angela. I'd gotten to hold her for the first time yesterday and I'd spent the entire day today with my baby cradled in my arms. I'd even gotten to talk to Maura on video chat while I sat with Angela earlier this afternoon. Maura had a bell boy deliver me a lap top this morning for the sole purpose of me being able to video chat with her so she could see Angela and I together. I called Maura as soon as I opened the box, saw what was inside and read the letter.

"_But Maura you'll be home tonight, you didn't have to send me this thing it's too much." _I whined at her on the phone.

Maura only chuckled but didn't back down.

"_Jane I might be really late, I still have so much to do here before I go on leave...I might not even make it home tonight and I just want to see you and your baby,"_ she insisted

My heart broke when she said she might not even make it home tonight. I'd been looking forward to seeing her all week. I think subconsciously I was counting down the very seconds until I'd get to see Maura's beautiful face again. I even had dreams of her stepping off the elevator into the apartment and me flying into her arms, picking her up, spinning her around, and telling her how much I missed her. One time I even dreamed that I kissed her. That was a _weird_ dream.

I'd awoken with a start sitting up straight and covered with a cold sweat. Franklin Thomas woke up too and started licking me all about the face and mouth area like he enjoyed doing so much. That was the weirdest dream I'd ever had...but it wasn't a nightmare...far from it actually. I'd never, _ever_ had a dream like that about another woman...I hadn't had a dream like that _period_ in freaking years. I felt all sweaty and my insides were on fire and my skin was tingling. I had to get up and drink a glass of cold water to calm myself down. My underwear was wet and my nerves were frazzled.

I didn't want to admit what else had been going on between Maura and me in that dream...I just flipped on the TV and petted Franklin Thomas curled up in my lap. The other part of that dream was just...it was making me feel rather faint. Maura actually called me shortly after I woke from that dream. I'd squeaked and stuttered through the entire conversation trying not to admit to myself what the sound of Maura's voice was doing to me. Maura inquired many times about what was bothering me. I lied and told her I had a nightmare. I certainly couldn't tell her the truth. Even still, I missed Maura three times as much as I thought I would and hearing that she might not be coming home at all made my heart wrench.

"_Maura...you said you'd be home tonight!"_ I found myself pouting into the phone.

I thought I heard Maura sigh. She did sound extremely tired, she always sounded tired when I talk to her. But Maura always tried to be so stoic and brave and would talk to me anyway until I started yawning and my eyes started drooping. Then she'd scold _me_ for not getting enough sleep when it was really _her_ that needed to slow down and take a break.

"_Honey I'm just really busy. I can't leave my lab and my staff in disarray. Also I don't want to fly with a tired pilot. If I leave the office to late I'll just let him sleep through the night and I'll leave first thing in the morning I promise. Until then...I'd like to see you with Angela. It will make the rest of the day so much easier."_ Maura said kindly.

I sighed again but conceded. I missed her, and I wanted her with me...but I'd do as she asked and set up the video chat thingy on the lap top so she could watch Angela and I. It was the very least I could do after all.

**Several hours ago at the hospital**

_I had tears in my eyes as I cradled little Angela in my arms. Her body was warm and her breathing was steady but her eyes were closed and she was still hooked up to several machines and had little probes stuck all over her chest. I hated the feeding tube Angela had, but at least she was eating well...even if it was through a damn tube. Angela looked so frail and vulnerable, despite that fact that Addison assured me she was doing very well and was growing more and more strong by the day. I tried to believe her, but as a mother...it was just hard seeing my baby like that._

_ There was at least a bit more color in her cheeks than yesterday. Yesterday had been awful actually when I got to hold Angela for the first time. I'd dissolved into tears when Addison first placed Angela in my arms and she'd had to spend twenty minutes comforting me. She tried to convince me that at least she wasn't in the incubation chamber anymore and out of the infant ICU. But still...still I cried and cried holding my injured frail baby in my arms. Angela was still being sedated mildly to keep her from pulling at everything attached to her body and she wasn't very responsive to my voice. Tears streamed down my face all day yesterday as I held her and rocked and sang to little Angela. _

_I didn't tell Maura how hard it had been when we talked yesterday evening. I didn't want her to know about all my pain. Maura seemed oddly sensitive to my distress and I hated adding extra stress on her when I knew she was under so much pressure of her own at work and was doing everything under the sun already to care for me. But I had a sneaking feeling Addison had told her about my tears anyway. I kind of thought that was the reason of the sudden delivery of the lap top this morning. _

_I wanted to be angry with Maura for buying something else for me but...it was nearly impossible to protest with her about those sorts of things. Maura would always blow it off and assure me with a smile that she was happy to do it and that she cared for me. If I protested to hard sometimes Maura would even get a little angry. Not as angry as she did with Tyler or that poor social worker, but I saw a glimmer of that shadow behind her eye sometimes. I didn't want to make her mad that's for damn sure...that's for DAMN sure! Besides, Maura really was sweet...somewhere deep down I knew she was telling me the truth when she said she cared for me. I just wish I didn't feel like Maura's only way of showing love was throwing money around. _

_"Can you see her Maura?" I asked looking up from my baby at the lap top. _

_I could see Maura's beautiful face as clear as day on the screen. She was in her office and was wearing a pair of scrubs. She'd just finished an autopsy and looked very tired but still a smile covered her face. I thought I even saw tears in her eyes that she was trying to blink away. _

_"She's...she's so beautiful Jane...she looks just like you," Maura said in an unsteady voice. _

_Was she really crying? I smiled hard looking back at my baby in my arms. Angela really was beautiful...even hooked up to every machine in the hospital. _

_"Addison says she'll have the feeding tube for at least another week, her esophagus is healing slowly but...but her body is getting stronger. That's what Addison said at least," I sighed looking at my sleeping baby. _

_I prayed everything Addison said was true...I couldn't wait to take my baby home to the ridiculous nursery Albert was designing for her. _

_"She'll need to have the feeding tube until she can swallow properly and without it causing her pain. It's dangerous trying to gauge those kinds of things with infants. Angela can't tell us if she's hurting except through crying. If they take the feeding tube out too soon and her esophagus hasn't healed enough she could end up choking on her food...even on just formula. I don't want Angela to have anymore damage to her esophagus...it could even affect her vocal cords if she suffers more trauma. I'd rather that Addison left the feeding tube in until the day before Angela is released from the hospital so there is less of a chance of us having to put it back in. Addison doesn't seem to think it's necessary...but I'll speak with her about it when I get back. I don't want to take any chances," Maura said smiling at me._

_I looked up at her. Something about Maura in those scrubbs...hmmmm! Her hair was pulled back in a tight pony tail and she was sitting back in her office chair casually. I'd seen Maura in all manner of gorgeous designer attire, she was always beautiful...but something about those scrubs made it hard for me to look away from her. She looked so...so freaking sexy. I thought about me walking in on Maura naked before she left for Boston. I blushed hard and turned away from her image on the screen. I couldn't think about all that with my baby in my arms._

_Maura must have noticed me blush though._

_"What's so funny?" she inquired._

_I blushed harder knowing I had been caught. I hoped I hadn't been staring at her cleavage area, I don't know why I seemed to think about her breast so much. What the hell was happening to me?_

_"Nothing?" I squeaked._

_ I tried to cover with a cough again. _

_"You seem amused by something," Maura pushed._

_"I was just thinking about how happy I am you're coming home today," I said truthfully. _

_That wasn't a lie at all. I was happy about seeing Maura. I was more happy that I might just get to sleep next to her again. I loved sleeping with Franklin Thomas and his puppy kisses on my face all night long. But I still dreamed of what it might be like to fall asleep with Maura's kisses instead. I shook my head trying not to think to hard about all that. _

_"I'm still not sure if I'll make it Jane," Maura said sadly. _

_I looked up at her frowning. I didn't want to hear that...I didn't even want to consider that. Maura's eyes were heavy with weariness and her smile was a bit forced but I still decided to play dirty. I turned my body so that Angela's face could be seen clearly by the tiny little computer camera. _

_"Angela...look baby. It's Maura..." I cooed softly into my child's ear but still loud enough that Maura could hear what I was saying, "...it's your daddy!" I said kissing Angela's forehead lightly several times._

_"Daddy's coming home today and she can't wait to see you," I said running my fingers through Angela's soft dark curls. _

_I looked back at the computer screen, Maura had the weirdest smile on her face I'd ever seen. I knew I wasn't misinterpreting the unfallen tears shining in her eyes though. I could see those as plain as day. I'd never...ever seen Maura look so happy before. She looked between me and Angela with hazy shining eyes full of love and insurmountable joy. _

_"Daddy?" was all Maura said in a shaky trembling voice._

_I smiled at Maura and at my daughter, I felt tears welling up in my own eyes...yet again!_

_"You are daddy Maura. You're the only and the best daddy Angela's ever known. You saved her life...and you saved me! You've given her everything...the best of everything a baby could need. She has her own room, and her own awesome toys, and Albert even made the spare den into a play room for her." I said rolling my eyes at the fiasco of fluttering gayness and snapping fingers that whole thing had been._

_"She's even got health insurance and her mommy has a job now. A real job that Angela can be proud of instead of her mother spreading her legs for strange men just so she can eat. If you aren't the best daddy in the world I don't know who is. You foot the bill and I give all the love," I said kissing my daughters face a half-dozen times again. _

_When I looked up tears were streaming down Maura's face unchecked and unchallenged. _

_"I can...I can give her love too Jane." Maura said trying to smile behind her tears._

_ Her voice was so shaky and her face was so honest and beautiful my heart melted completely. I smiled between my own tears. I found myself wishing desperately that I wasn't looking at Maura on a computer. I wished she was here. I wished she was standing over me...me and Angela. I wished I could look over my shoulder and see Maura's beautiful face smiling down at me and my daughter and feel the powerful air of love and protection that I thought I was seeing in her face now. I wished I could hear her whisper soft words in my ear and soft words to my daughter. I wished I could feel her fingers run through my hair as I cradled Angela in my arms. I wished she would deal with the doctors and the lawyers and I was left free to be only with my baby._

_ Maura was a natural with the details and the facts other professionals like her often peppered conversation with. I hadn't the knowledge to fully understand everything that was said to me by people far above my station. I did my best to retain as much information as I could, and with the help of Maura and Google I managed to make it through the day but still...I wished Maura was here._

_ I just wanted Maura next to me...I wanted her next to me forever. If the last thing I felt and saw in my life was Maura's smile and Angela in my arms...my life would be complete and I could die in peace. I felt my heart break and swell looking between Maura's tear streaked face and Angela's sleeping body in my arms. They were my little family...my precious little family and I loved them so much...both of them. They were all I had. They were everything to me...both of them. _

_In a matter of a week Maura had inserted herself into my life, into my mind, and into my heart like no one had in over five years. I wanted to tell her how much she meant to me. I wanted to express my gratitude but my feelings were beyond words. Words could never express how my heart truly felt. I could not have survived the chaos of Angela's accident without her. I knew that, I knew I owed Maura everything. But how could I show her...how could I tell her how grateful I was and the feelings I was starting to have for her? Feelings that weren't just...just friendship! _

_I started to speak to Maura again but I was cut off by her soft soprano voice singing a song. The song wasn't in a language I understood...it sounded like French. But Maura's voice was beautiful and strong even though it was soft and melodious. The melody was simple and the notes were easy, but there was a beauty in the song and in Maura's voice that washed over me and made me feel calm. _

_I sighed looking down at my daughter's beautiful face as Maura sang. Her voice brought me to tears, it was so tender and gentle and warm. I ran my fingers through Angela's hair as Maura sang. Tears streamed down my face as I watched my baby. I knew the song was for her. I knew Maura in some strange way was sending all her love to my daughter in that song. I could feel the love...way down in side of me...I could feel every ounce of love Maura had in her spirit washing over me. Even though I didn't understand the language, even though I didn't know what the words meant...I could just...I could just feel it._

_ I kissed my daughters forehead as tears streamed down my cheeks and landed in soft little puddles on Angela's face and chest. When I broke from the kiss Angela's eyes were open...just a little bit. She was looking right at me for the first time in almost a week. My voice caught in my throat and my heart skipped two beats. My baby was awake and she was looking at me. Maura's voice washed over us both as the tears streamed faster and faster down my cheeks. I could feel Maura with me, I could feel her standing right next to me singing right to me and my baby. I could feel Maura's presence everywhere in the room, I could feel her arm on my shoulder protecting me, guiding me, loving me. Angela's tiny hand reached up and touched my cheek softly, just for a moment. Our eyes locked to each other._

_ There was no pain in Angela's eyes, there was no agony in her face, she showed no signs of blame or hurt over what had happened to her. She looked up at me like she loved me...like I was mommy and she was my baby and she trusted and loved me no matter what. I cried softly looking down at my baby. She looked so calm. We stared right into each others eyes for endless moments until Maura's pretty voice subsided in the background and I heard her sigh softly. _

_"I love you baby girl," I whispered to my daughter through my tears, "I love you and daddy loves you too." I said._

_I thought I saw Angela smile briefly around the tubes in her mouth before her eyes closed again and she drifted back into a pleasant sleep. _

_I looked up at Maura. There were tears running down her own cheeks. _

_"Did you see Maura...did you see her look at me? Did you see her smile?" I cried excited and elated and overcome with joyful tears._

_Maura's smile was breathtaking._

_"I did...I saw everything," she said softly._

_We looked at each other for long moments. I didn't know if it was seconds or minutes or hours. It felt like time had fallen away, it felt like there was nothing and no one else in the world but me, my baby, and Maura. I felt my heart pour out to Muara...I felt my walls crumble...I felt my spirit open up and fly into the heavens. I felt years and years of regret and pain and agony wash away and spotless unfiltered love and admiration for the woman on the screen replaced all of my misery. There was a glow around Maura...a halo of the purest light. I wanted to reach through the screen and touch her, I wanted to feel her hold me in her arms, I wanted so many things in that moment. But somehow...I was still more content that I'd ever been in my life. I couldn't believe what was happening to me. I couldn't believe how light and happy I felt. I couldn't believe so many things. _

_"That was...that was beautiful Maura," I said in a choked trembling voice._

_Maura smiled warmly, she seemed elated that I complimented her song._

_"My nanny used to sing that song to me before bed or when I was ill. It always made me feel better and feel...and feel less lonely that my own parents were...were never there." Maura said sadly. _

_Maura's eyes lowered and I saw her sigh heavily. My heart broke. What loneliness was she feeling? What pain was she remembering? What torment had she gone through as a child? I found myself becoming suspiciously infuriated that someone had made Maura feel unwanted or unloved ever in her life. My own childhood hadn't been perfect...but I'd never ever questioned whether or not I was loved. I had a fierce, loud, boisterous family to fight with and scream at and talk to whenever I needed them. I grew up knowing there was always someone there. Even when the world around me was cruel and unforgiving...I always had my family. I think that's why I fell apart the way I did when I lost them...it was because I knew I had lost everything that held me together. I knew how precious family was...I knew I had nothing and was no one without them. But...I don't think Maura had ever known what family really was. I don't think she'd ever had loud family dinners or family game night or arguments over what movie everyone wanted to watch. Maura didn't have siblings to spar with or back her up when she got in trouble. Maura had never experienced so many things. As accomplished and powerful as Maura was...I was terrified that she was empty inside. I was empty too...but at least I knew what I was missing. Maura had no idea and it upset me._

_I didn't want Maura to see that it was upsetting me to watch her become so sad though. If Maura was lonely...I would give her company. I would drive away the shadows in her mind as she drove away mine. If no one else would show Maura the love she deserved...I'd carry that cross myself and consider it an honor. I had nothing else to offer her, I had no money to give, and my words would never be enough. But I could still be there for her, I could do my best to see that she never felt lonely again. _

_"Please come home tonight Maura..." I said softly "I really miss you,"_

_It looked like Maura's heart broke in that instant. She looked up at me and smiled between glistening eyes filled with fresh tears. I could see her swallow down a lump in her throat and her face flush a little bit. She looked so pretty to me in that moment. _

_"I'll be there Jane...it might be late...but I'll be there." she smiled at me._

_I smiled back. I was so excited...I just couldn't wait! _

_Maura and I talked for another hour or so about everything under the sun as I held Angela's sleeping form. I wasn't so upset anymore that Angela never opened her eyes again. I knew she was fine...I knew she'd be ok. I knew the best doctor and the best daddy would do everything in their power to make sure my baby came home healthy and happy. I was sad when Maura was called away. I didn't want to let her go but she promised over and over again she'd be home tonight. I relented finally and said goodbye before she signed off the internet feed and the screen went blank. I couldn't wait to see her. I left the hospital with a light heart and a head full of ideas of what I wanted to make Maura for dinner. I'd whistled the entire limo ride home and all the way to the apartment until the doors opened to chaos and Franklin Thomas ran by with Maura's underwear wrapped around his leg._

**Present time:**

"You _bad_ dog motha," Consuela repeated jabbing the knife at me.

"Whoooaaa, relax there angry pants...put the damn knife down Consuela you don't wanna do nothing crazy," I said holding up my arms and feigning fear sarcastically.

Franklin Thomas ran around the couch a few more times yipping and barking excitedly. At one point he rolled over on his back and tried to wrestle the underwear off his foot with his teeth. He was growling and tearing at it like a maniac but it only wrapped around his entire head instead and he stood up shaking his little body violently trying to disentangle himself from Maura's sexy bright pink undergarments. I laughed all over again.

"SEE!" Consuela screeched "El DIABLO!" she hissed approaching Franklin Thomas' form with the knife held high over her head.

I moved swiftly and snatched the knife from her hands. Consuela spun on me, grabbed a couch pillow and started beating me with me ferociously.

"You and devil dog be death of me. Dog always peeing and pooping...you with smart mouth and sloppy ways...you make me lose mind before I sixty! All my family live long life...you and DIABLO kill me while I still young!" Consuela screeched beating me with the pillow incessantly.

I laughed running back to the kitchen and tossing the knife in the sink. I ran around the other side of the huge kitchen island and spun on Consuela.

"You ain't been young in thirty years Consuela...and Franklin Thomas wouldn't pee on everything if you didn't suck so bad." I teased sticking my tongue out at her and taking off again dodging the pillow Consuela let fly at my head.

"You cause much havoc...house peaceful and quiet before you come here...now everything _chaos_! You and devil dog spawn of _Satan_! And you need eat more...you look like stick!" Consuela said for like the hundredth time.

I rounded on her again.

"Why don't you give me some of _your_ extra flubber chubbs if you're so worried about me being skinny," I teased Consuela.

She turned bright red and found another pillow to launch at my head.

"You _evil_!" she screeched.

I ran around a corner and the pillow missed me. I heard Franklin Thomas' growls and then I heard Consuela's screeches. I poked my head back around the corner and almost died laughing. Franklin Thomas was dangling from the hem of Consuela's uniform by his teeth and growling every time she spun in a circle shreeking and screaming to try to get him off.

"Diablo...DIABLO!" Consuela raved.

She waddled awkwardly toward the kitchen weighed down by Franklin Thomas' weight.

I could barely stop laughing enough to get to the kitchen but when I did I found Consuela screaming and spinning in circles jabbing at Franklin Thomas with a broom trying to get him to let go of her uniform. Franklin Thomas only growled harder and tore at the dress violently. Finally with a ripping sound a great section of Consuela's uniform tore off and my puppy landed on the floor and hopped away with his prize.

I laughed all the harder. Consuela was fuming.

"You and devil dog make do for selves. I leaving for day." Consuela said pushing past me and stalking out of the apartment.

Franklin Thomas reappeared running up to me with his prize. I picked him up and cuddled him against me. I loved that damn dog. I played with Franklin Thomas until late afternoon and I knew I needed to start making dinner. I wanted to cook for Maura. She promised to come home tonight and I wanted to have something special waiting for her when she got home. I didn't have the money to buy her things like Maura did for me...but...Ma always said you could show all the love you had in a good hot meal.

I smiled thinking of Ma and meals at the Rizzolli family dinner table. Every meal was a production and every meal was an adventure. That was always were I felt safest, that was always where I felt joy. I hadn't had a family dinner in five long years...I hadn't thought I'd _ever_ have one again. But now...now I wanted one more than anything.

I wanted to cook for Maura...I wanted her to eat my meal and taste all the love and gratitude I had for her. I wanted to cater to her and listen to her tell me all about her week without me. I wanted to pour her wine and serve her myself and smile at every bite she took. I wanted to run her a bath and rub her shoulders and tell her how special she was to me...how much I appreciated her...how much I adored her. I wanted to crawl in bed next to her and wrap my arms around her and listen to the steady heartbeat in her chest and feel the vibrations of her body as she spoke. I wanted to thank her for all the things she'd done for me, I wanted her to believe me when I said thank you. I wanted to fall asleep next to her and dream of her all night and know that she dreamed of me also. I wanted so many things...but I'd start with making her dinner. I was so excited. Everything was going to be perfect.

**Maura**

I left my office as soon as I could. I went straight home and grabbed my luggage and the crate that held my tortious Bass. Actually, my _driver_ grabbed my luggage and Bass' crate. I'd left a change of address request with the post office earlier to have all my mail delivered to New York for the time being, and I had my utilities cut off until I returned. I set my alarm and locked the door never looking back as I returned to the limo. My home in Boston was cold and lonely. The only light that shown in the place was when I was talking to Jane. I couldn't wait to see what my apartment in New York had become in my absence. I didn't know exactly what I would be walking into but...I knew it was far from the cold empty place as when I left.

It was well after seven pm before I got to the hanger and after seven-thirty before we finally took off. These last four days had been...they had been trying at best. I was absolutely swamped at work. Every other step I took someone was calling my name and asking for something or wondering why I was leaving for so long. I gave them the professional information they wanted and avoided their probing personal questions. I wasn't overly friendly with anyone at work normally and I saw no need to change that now. I found most of their questions about my personal life annoying at best. I had no time to even pretend to indulge my coworkers. I had time only for my work and for Jane.

I did have to bend at some point to inquire about an open vehicular homicide case that was never solved. I didn't tell Jane about my looking into her family's case. I didn't want to get her hopes up. I wasn't the chief medical examiner for the BPD when her family was killed in that horrible accident. My predecessor was...well they were far from thorough. I had to sweet talk Korsack into telling me where the file was located. I'd dug through a million file boxes in a dusty dingy basement storage area looking for Jane's family's file. I spent half the night reading through the file Tuesday and half of yesterday morning trying to figure out where the car was that hit Jane's family. I found out it was in some police lot far outside the city. I'd driven straight there after work and went back through the car with a fine toothed comb.

It had been five years since the accident but I had to try. I managed to lift several sets of finger prints and even took some blood samples I found on the steering wheel and a few hair samples from the seat. Advances in forensic sciences and the introduction of a nation wide DNA data base since Jane's family's death may have been exactly what was necessary to catch whatever horrible person had gotten away with the murder of three innocent people. I sent all the samples off to the lab and prayed they were enough to yield some new information. But I wouldn't tell Jane...not yet...not until I knew for sure if we could catch the person. I wanted Jane to find closure, but...I didn't want to get her hopes up only to break her heart all over again. I cared for Jane too much to do that.

I thought of Jane often and always. Usually while I worked I thought of nothing other than work. But now...now I always had Jane and Angela in the back of my mind. Jane even plagued my dreams at night and was the first person I thought of in the morning. I couldn't believe how much I missed her. I couldn't believe how much I looked forward to going home and seeing her face in person again. I couldn't believe how much I loved staying up late just looking at her on my computer screen even though I was so tired I could barely form coherent words. I loved hearing her chat away about this thing or the other thing and especially about Angela.

Jane's face always lit up when she spoke of her daughter. Each passing day Jane seemed to be growing more and more comfortable with her surroundings and with me. She opened up to me more and more telling me about her family and various memories she had of them. Jane didn't seem so hurt or angry anymore when she spoke of her mother and her brothers. She spoke mostly with a fondness and a smile on her face. Every now and then though her smile would falter and her eyes would water when speaking of them...but I always moved quickly to comfort her or change the subject of conversation completely. I didn't like to see Jane cry. My entire existence had become devoted to making sure I'd never have to see that again. Jane's tears always broke my heart.

I especially loved seeing how happy Jane was with her new puppy Franklin Thomas. Jane cried like a baby when she opened the box and saw him for the first time. I'd cried right along with her. The whole flight Monday morning I'd been plagued with guilt and sadness that I had to leave Jane behind and alone in our huge apartment that was so unfamiliar to her and knowing she had nightmares if she slept alone. The first call I made when I landed in Boston was to Addison to check up on Angela, then to Consuela to make sure she took care of Jane, then to the Humane Society to adopt a puppy for Jane.

I couldn't get the conversation she and I had Sunday night while we watched that awful Sarah McLachlan dead puppy commercial for the Humane Society out of my head. I also couldn't get the sad look on Jane's face when she told me about how her mother would never let her have a puppy as a child out of my thoughts. I'd picked Franklin Thomas myself off the Humane Society's website and had him washed and groomed and delivered to Jane. I picked Franklin Thomas because he looked so happy, and had curly hair like Jane. He just looked like the perfect fuzzy creature to cuddle up next to Jane while she cuddled up next to me. I loved watching him run around in the background while I talked to Jane at night. Ever since she got him Jane had been far more bouncy and cheerful than she was before. I was more than grateful for that. Consuela, however, was far less than thrilled. I'd received an angry phone call from her Tuesday afternoon.

**Tuesday afternoon**

_"Hello?" I answered my office phone pleasantly. I'd just spoken to Jane and I was in a very good mood despite how tired I was. _

_"Doctor...you must take back evil Diablo dog. He menace...he mess everything up. He pee of floor and eat sock and chew carpet and swing off drapes! HE EVIL!" Consuela practically screeched at me. _

_The woman was always ill-tempered at best...but she sounded beside herself with frustration over Franklin Thomas. I tried not to giggle...but it was a bit humorous._

_"Consuela...Franklin Thomas is a gift for Jane. She loves him and he stays!" I said kindly but still with an air of finality. _

_I knew before I adopted a puppy that it wouldn't be easy. I'd never acquired a dog for myself because they required so much work and attention. I prefered Bass. He was quiet and he didn't chew up my things and he didn't cause a ruckus. But Jane was not me...and she had the wild spirit that could care for a dog far better than I. I knew there would be bumps in the road with Franklin Thomas, but I would work through them and so would Consuela. She didn't have a choice anyway...my word was final. _

_"But he EEEEVIL! DIABLO! I **kill** him!" Consuela screeched. She sounded out of breath and panicked. _

_I smiled. _

_"Consuela don't touch the dog. I'll hire an expert to train Franklin Thomas when I get back but until then you better not touch a hair on his curly little head." I said sternly. _

_Consuela sighed._

_"Why you love Miss Jane so much? She have smart mouth and bad attitude. She throw pillow at me dis morning when I try to wake her up. She evil like dog!" Consuela wailed. _

_I grinned. _

_"Were you doing something to antagonize Jane Consuela?" I chided my housemaid. _

_I knew Consuela...I knew how she was. _

_"Neva...neva me!" she feigned innocence. _

_I rolled my eyes. _

_"Consuela I'll be home Thursday...don't touch the dog and be nice to Jane," I said and hung up. _

_I giggled the rest of the day thinking of how much it was killing Consuela to concede to my wishes. _

**Present Time on the plane ride back to Boston:**

I thought the entire plane ride home of Jane and Angela. It made me so happy to see them together. I knew instantly that Jane was a wonderful mother. I could tell by the way she cradled Angela in her arms. I could tell by the way she kissed her head so tenderly. I could tell by the way Jane whispered softly while she held her baby. I could tell by the smile that never left her face the entire time her child was in her arms. I couldn't get the image from my head. I couldn't stop thinking of the way Jane called me Angela's daddy, and with a sincere smile on her face at that. I couldn't stop thinking of the way Jane cried when I sang to Angela. It was an old French lullaby my nanny used to sing to me when I was a child. I remembered it word for word and sang it for Angela.

I really wanted to be there with Jane...I really wanted to hold Jane as she held Angela. I really wanted to speak to Addison in person and let Jane alone to spend time with her daughter. Addison called me last night and told me how much Jane cried when she first held her daughter. Jane never told me any of that when we spoke later. I knew she was trying to be brave for me...I knew she didn't want me to think she was weak or ungrateful. I knew she just wanted to talk about happy things for my sake. But I saw the pain behind her eyes, I saw the tears that were left unfallen. I saw the shadow in her spirit. Jane couldn't hide that from me. I'd seen Jane in the depths of her dispair...I knew what it looked like...I couldn't be fooled. That's why I had the laptop sent to her this morning...I'm so glad I did. The memory I made of Jane and Angela was priceless.

I couldn't wait to see Jane again. It was only a forty-five minute flight to New York from Boston. I hadn't called Jane to tell her I was on my way...I wanted to surprise her. I wanted to sweep her into a hug and wrap my fingers in her dark curls. I wanted to tell her how much I missed her. I wanted to pet Franklin Thomas, and introduce Bass to them, and have dinner with Jane, and listen to her gab away about everything that had happened in my absence.

I wanted to see what Albert had made of Angela's nursery...not doubt it was over the top and ridiculous. I wanted Jane to crawl into bed next to me and cuddle me as she had done before. I wanted to fall asleep to the sound of her steady peaceful breathing and dream only of her as I had done since I met her. I wanted to wake next to her and eat breakfast with her and spend every moment I could in her company. I wanted so many things. So many things.

I was beyond weary when I finally arrived at the hotel. Jane had left me eight text messages on my phone telling me how much she missed me and how happy she was that I was coming home tonight. My heart melted more and more as I read through each message on the elevator on the way up to the apartment I now shared so openly with Jane. I'd never been so happy to be going home. I'd never been so full of hope and excitement to walk into the apartment I once thought was cold and dark and lonely. I couldn't wait see it filled with all the light and chaos Jane brought into my life. I smiled all the way up...until I started smelling smoke. The smell got stronger and stronger until the elevator doors opened and my eyes were bombarded with black smoke and the smell of fire.

I was shocked. What the hell was going on? I stepped out of the elevator and looked around. The smoke alarm was blaring like crazy, there was laundry scattered everywhere. Franklin Thomas was barking madly somewhere. Smoke was billowing from the kitchen. I ran into the kitchen in a wide-eyed panic. My jaw dropped when I walked in there. There was flour everywhere, the stove was covered in red sauce...the refridgerator and countertops and floor were covered in red splash streaks. There was a bowl of salad spilled all over the floor, the oven was open and smoking like crazy. A foamy white substance was covering the inside. A fire extinguisher was laying about haphazardly on the floor and I could barely hear myself think above the sound of the smoke alarm. Worst of all Jane was sitting on the floor crying hysterically and covered in what looked like everything that was in the fridge. Even her hair had streaks of flour in it and bits of lettuce and loads of red sauce. She looked like she'd been attacked by the entire kitchen and she fought back tooth and nail.

"JANE!" I screeched

Jane uncovered her eyes and looked shocked when she saw me standing there. She started crying twice as hard as she made her way onto her unsteady feet.

"MAURA...I'm so sorry!" Jane wailed.

"I'm so _sorry_...I just wanted to make you dinner," She cried and cried.

She was a freaking mess. Franklin Thomas was licking sauce off her legs in between barking over the blaring alarm. I was shocked still. What the hell was going on? I started moving toward Jane. Jane backed away from me step by step. Her eyes were wild and terrified.

"I wanted to surprise you...I wanted to...to make you dinner like my Ma used to and..."

I stepped forward...Jane stepped back.

"Everything just went all wrong..." she wailed.

I stepped forward she stepped back. Jane grew more and more hysterical the closer I got.

"I should have paid attention better when my Ma tried to teach me to cook...I should have known to cover the sauce...I should have known not to use so much flour...I should have known not to set the oven so high..." Jane wailed backing away from me more and more.

Her eyes were wide and her speech was rushed and panicked

I moved closer and closer to her until she was pinned against the far wall. Jane looked ridiculous covered in food as she was. She was crying and blubbering and trying to pull bits of food from her hair. She was wearing the same dress and heels she wore when I first met her in my hotel bar. Even as messy as she was...even with my kitchen and my house in total disarray she looked so beautiful. Jane had even done her make up I could tell under all the sauce spattered over her face.

Jane just cried and cried backed against the wall. I couldn't understand what she was saying anymore. She looked so defeated and so sad standing there all covered in goo with the alarms blaring and the dog barking like crazy.

Jane flinched when I reached up and wiped a bit of sauce away from her lips.

"I just wanted to make you _happy_," She wailed looking at me with her giant brown orbs pleading for understanding and full of terror and grief.

My heart melted watching tears stream down Jane's beautiful face. Jane tried to speak further no doubt to plead her case more but I needed to hear none of it. I cradled her face gently in my hands leaned in and kissed her softly on her precious tender lips.

Jane seemed shocked at first. Her entire body tensed up in my arms, she grabbed my wrist tightly almost as if to pull them away...but I didn't stop. I kissed her sweetly, gently, kindly. Slowly I felt Jane's body relax and her mouth opened for me. I let my tongue wander between her soft lips and felt Jane's own tongue meet mine in a beautiful dance of heat and passion. Jane wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me closer. I wrapped my arms around her slender waist and pulled her body into mine. We stood there kissing for long seconds lost in an oblivion neither of us had ever known. I could have stood there for hours kissing her despite the horrible alarm, despite the barking dog running around our feet, despite the toxic smoke filling the room, despite the fact that Jane was wearing more food than was in the refrigerator. I could have kissed her forever, I was lost in the beauty of the moment. Jane's body trembled in my arms and a soft sigh escaped her mouth into my own. I smiled against her lips. My body was on fire...every part of me was burning inside and out. I cradled Jane's beautiful face in my hand as I kissed her with all the passion that had been building in my heart and mind for only her. I loved the way Jane kissed me back. I loved the feeling of her hand wrapped tightly in my hair and the way she pulled just a little bit. I loved the way her breath had become ragged and uneven...just like my own. I loved everything about her...but our reverie was broken when the elevator dinged and the sound of many heavy boots burst into the apartment.

"New York Fire Department...is anybody hurt in here?" A voice called.

Suddenly the kitchen was filled with a dozen fine men of the fire department all dressed up in their gear. Jane looked terrified and embarrassed. Her face was a flushed furious red and her eyes looked panicked again. We must have looked like the silliest sight in the world. My own dress was covered in food now after my kiss with Jane and the alarms were still blaring and Franklin Thomas was dangling off of one of the Fire Men's coat. The poor Fire Man was spinning around in circles and exclaiming loudly his arms flailing and the others around him laughing hysterically.

This was the most ridiculous thing that had ever happened in this apartment...ever! So much for my quiet little private retreat. I smiled.

"Franklin Thomas...STOP THAT!" Jane wailed at her little puppy who was tearing violently at the Fire Man's coat and growling like a maniac.

Jane looked beyond flustered and humiliated. She ran through the crowd of firemen and swooped Franklin Thomas into her arms and ran away. I thought I heard the bedroom door slam behind her. I sighed heavily.

The Firemen all turned and stared at me in wide-eyed confusion and amusement. They all wore curious grins and had twinkling eyes. What on earth must they be thinking?

I laughed nervously.

"Everything is fine gentlemen...Jane was just making me dinner," I forced a pleasant smile.

"She's uhhhh...she's no chef!" The oldest fireman said looking at the mess all over the kitchen.

Everyone chuckled including me.

"She's uhhhh...she's hot though. She aint gotta know how to cook, not with those legs and that face." Another of the firemen cracked.

Everyone laughed again except me...I didn't laugh that time. I rolled my eyes and glared at the one who spoke of Jane so...so inappropriately. I wasn't furious with him...he was right after all. I had the same feelings as he about Jane but still...I was the one locked in a kiss with Jane moments before and now Jane was hiding somewhere probably crying and full of humiliation.

It took five minutes for the alarms to clear and silence and another ten minutes to get the firefighters to leave the apartment...which they did with many jokes and rounds of raucous laughter. I smiled after they left and looked around my apartment. It was an absolute _disaster_. Laundry was everywhere, my kitchen looked like a bomb went off in there, a piece of Consuela's uniform was in the middle of the hallway and the whole apartment smelled like burning smoke. I found myself giggling uncontrollably as I looked around.

"_Chaos and Light_," I said to myself as I thought of Jane hiding away in the bedroom.

I knocked on the bedroom door lightly.

"Jane," I said softly.

I heard her sniffling behind the door. She must have been leaning against it.

"I'm such an idiot," She wailed.

I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"Jane sweetheart open the door." I pleaded as patiently as I could.

"NO! I don't want you to see me like this. I ruined your house and embarrassed you in front of the firemen. I just wanted to make you dinner and surprise you and make you happy. I can't even do _that_ right. I messed everything up! I _always_ mess everything up!" Jane wailed and cried.

"_Oh Good Grief!"_ I sighed heavily.

"Sweetheart...it's ok...I have a whole staff of people who do nothing but clean up other people's messes. And you didn't embarrass me...everyone thought it was kinda funny actually. And it's sweet of you to think of making dinner for me. I'm honored that you tried so hard." I said choking back a laugh.

The condition of my kitchen said Jane indeed had tried very hard...even if it didn't actually work out for the better.

"Will you please open the door Jane...don't make me talk to you like this. I want to see your pretty face." I said softly.

"NO! I'm hideous like this. I'm all covered in food." Jane sobbed.

I rolled my eyes.

"It didn't stop me from kissing you! Besides, your sauce tasted delicious...even if it never made it on to a plate." I chuckled looking down at my own ruined dress.

I smiled.

"Really?" Jane asked sweetly.

My smile widened.

"Yes Jane...I loved it...now will you please open the door and talk to me?" I pleaded.

Jane opened the door and stood there covered in food with a guilty smile on her face. Her face was still flushed with embarrassment but she looked very happy to see me. My heart melted.

"I missed you Jane Rizzolli," I smiled at her.

Jane swept me into a crushing hug.

"Daddy's home," Jane laughed sweetly into my ear.

I'd never been so happy in all my life.


	9. I Got You Babe!

**A/N: So as you guys know, I've been nominated for a Rizzle award for this piece of work. Shout out to Mrj726...you r my new favorite person. Anyway, if you guys really like the story I'd love it if you voted for me. I'm really proud of this work. This chapter is mostly funny and character building and plot building...but the story will pick up in the next chapters leading back into the drama. Also it flip flops POV from Jane to Maura so pay attention so you don't miss it. Let me know what you guys think...I love your ideas. I try and do my best to give you what you ask for. All that being said...vote for me and here we go! **

**P.S. Type the link below into your web browser to vote for your favorite Rizzles stories**

** rizzlesfan awards. wordpress **

**Jane**

"MAURA!" I wailed pulling the pillow over my head and growling into it.

"You're _impossible_," I sighed, my voice muffled behind the pillow.

"Jane...I'm simply stating that Spider Man is scientifically an impossible phenomenon. Human beings are capable of many things but to think a person could evolve to shoot spider webs from their eyes and swing around buildings and crawl up vertical walls is just silly at best. I can't justify sitting through two hours of something that could never happen based on the laws of biology, physics, and the limits of human capabilities." Maura protested in bed next to me.

"He doesn't shoot spider webs out of his EYES Maura...he shoots them from his wrist!" I said punching the pillow over my face with my fist.

"Even so it's just as silly. Spider webs are made of the saliva in the glands of arachnids that produces certain enzymes that create the silky strong substance in which spiders build their homes and their food traps. The material is certainly strong but not strong enough for a fully grown male human being to swing around fifty feet in the air." Maura said pointedly.

I muffled a scream into the pillow. We'd been having this conversation for thirty minutes already and it seemed no matter what I said Maura just didn't get. I pulled the pillow from my face and let it fly across the bedroom.

"Jane...don't be careless with your things!" Maura scolded me.

I rolled my eyes again. Maura was always scolding me about something. It was Sunday morning and ever since Maura returned to me Thursday night we'd done nothing but bicker playfully and run around town like maniacs getting ready for the home inspection on Tuesday. Both mine and Maura's world was a blur of motion far from the norm that we had come to expect in our lives. Maura made me eat veggies and I made Maura watch sports center. Maura made me be neat and tidy...well she tried at least...and I made Maura eat chocolate cake with real sugar and butter, not the healthy soda cake she seemed to like so much. Maura read books while I wrestled with Franklin Thomas and watched cheesy reality TV. My choice in television programming was always a sore subject with Maura.

"_These programs are rotting the minds of perfectly decent young adults. If you just must watch TV why don't you watch something educational? How about the History Channel? They are airing a documentary series about the evolution of religions around the world!" _Maura asked excitedly Friday night as I lay my head in her lap on the couch.

I sighed and rolled my eyes.

_"Maura really? The freaking history channel? It's so boring, there's nothing wrong with the Real Housewives of New Jersey." _I scoffed.

_"Do you not find this program offensive to Italian Americans?" _Maura asked curiously.

_"What? NO! This show is awesome! And I'm Italian you know!" _I said looking up at Maura reading her book.

_"I figured as much being as that your sur name is Rizzolli and you have the genetic markers of the Italian race. Even so, this program shines a negative light and perpetuates certain stereotypes of an entire race of people...your people!" _Maura said turning from her book and looking down at me sternly.

She was wearing her reading glasses that made her face look serious all the time and one of those negligees that made her body look twice as sexy as it normally did.

_"Maura, I don't relate these people's lives or the fact that they happen to be Italian to myself in any way. Besides...the drama of my own life far outshines anything on this damn show. I watch this because it's funny and mindless and helps me escape the reality of my own existence" _I said snuggling further into Maura's lap and turning up the volume on the TV.

Maura simply sighed and ran her fingers through my hair as she turned back to her book.

_"I don't relate these people to you either. You're far more complex, dynamic, and intelligent than anything I've seen so far on this...this program. However if you just insist on rotting your mind with this substandard programming I must insist that you watch something more...more engaging later."_

I just rolled my eyes. At the time I didn't think much of Maura's threat but later that evening Maura sure enough convinced me to watch a French love film with her...that was all in FRENCH! I'd barely made it through the thing. The only reason I did was because Maura was snuggled up in my lap on the couch and I liked the way I could look down every now and then when she wasn't paying attention and see the tops of her pretty milky white breast. Maura translated the entire movie for me...much to my displeasure. I would have told her to stop...I didn't care about the cheesy smoochie smoochie film anyway, but Maura was so cute and kinda funny laughing and crying and gasping excitedly at the movie. It was more entertaining watching Maura than it was watching the actual movie. Besides...I liked the way she squirmed in my lap...it made be feel...hmmmm!

We hadn't talked about our little kiss since it happened. Actually, there was nothing little _about_ that kiss. I couldn't stop thinking about it, I couldn't stop thinking of everything I felt wrapped in Maura's arms with her soft tongue in my mouth. I felt things in those few seconds I hadn't felt in all my life. I'd never felt so much heat between my legs over a simple kiss...I'd never felt so much heat between my legs in all the times I'd lay with a man _period._ I fell to pieces with Maura's lips on my own...but then everything got all weird and ruined when the Firemen burst into the apartment and I'd nearly died of embarrassment. I'd been doing my best to make up for that disastrous mess ever since it happened. My dinner had been ruined and all my expectations and desires of showing Maura how much she meant to me were ruined with it. I'd been beside myself with grief and loathing. Maura seemed to think it was funny...but I didn't. I wanted to melt into the floor every time I thought about it. Except the kiss part...I _liked_ that part. Thinking of the kiss made me feel like melting into the floor too...but in a totally different kind of way. But we'd been so busy with running around town, chasing after my bad ass dog, visiting Angela, and Maura often went to her office that there was no time left for talks of our heated moment with each other.

Even still, I slept in Maura's bed every night and woke to find her draped across my body like a human blanket. Every time I woke in the night to find Maura on top of me like that...OH God! So very very many dirty little things ran through my mind. Things I was to afraid to admit fully to myself let alone express to Maura. I think even Maura was nervous about the whole kiss thing between us. Ever since Thursday evening Maura had taken to running off on tangents about random facts and textbook information I didn't find in the least bit interesting or exciting. I'd smile and nod patiently while Maura spouted off about everything under the sun but...it sort of felt like she was avoiding talking about what was really on her mind. I wanted to push her to open up but...I was afraid to open up myself so I let everything go unspoken. Besides...I loved Maura's company...even when she was driving me crazy with all the nonsense she found so interesting. I didn't want things to get weird between us. Especially not right before our home inspection.

"MAURA! Once again...people don't go see Spider Man because they care about how realistic it is that Peter Parker getting bitten by a radioactive spider turns him into a super hero. Nobody _cares_ about that part. People go see Spider Man because it's freaking AWESOME and everybody loves superheros. Plus...everybody likes it when the bad guy goes down. It's just human nature Maura...you can't break something like that down in your little science theories and what not. People see Spider Man cause it's exciting and fun to watch...it's alot more interesting at least than whatever the hell you made me sit through the other night." I grumbled leaning back on the bed and rolling my eyes.

"Actually the compulsion for humans to become enraptured by the idea of the good guys catching the bad guys is very deeply seeded in the science of the psychology of society in general." Maura said sitting up and rolling on her side to look at me.

I sighed and rolled my eyes.

_"Here we freaking go!" _I thought trying not to chuckle at the onslaught of science facts I was about to have to endure.

"As a society we are driven to root for the good guys because it's ingrained in us from birth the battle of good versus evil. We want the good guys to win because it makes us feel safe and secure in our minds and in our homes. We put Super Heroes on a pedestal because the idea of one man battling all evil makes us feel powerful and self-important that we as a species are above all others and above all evil. But it still doesn't make Spider Man realistic..."

"...IT'S not SUPPOSED to be realistic Maura oh my GOD!" I wailed wishing I had my pillow to pull over my face again.

"Jane, there's a very good documentary on the rise of the Third Reich playing at a little theatre outside the city. Wouldn't you rather go see that?" Maura said patiently ignoring my frustration.

I looked over at her incredulously. I started to protest vehemently but Maura's eyes were so cute and sweet and sparkling with excitement I just couldn't bring myself to lash out at her. Besides, I could see right down her negligée while she was leaning over the way she was and my mind got wiped of unpleasant thoughts. I found myself smiling instead despite the fact that the woman was driving me crazy.

"Maura...I watched your thing the other night. I'd like it if you come see Spider Man with me tonight?" I cooed at Maura.

I'd found Maura most often would bend to me if I pleaded with her in just the right way. Maura looked down at me for a few moments studying me. Then her lips turned into some wicked little grin. Why was she so sexy when she grinned like that?

"I'll take you to see your silly little movie on one condition," Maura said sliding her body on top of mine and looking right down into my eyes.

I was lost for breath momentarily. There was too much going on between my legs to speak when Maura's gorgeous body was all over mine.

"What's that?" I finally managed to squeak.

I wanted to kick myself for that.

Maura widened her mischievous little grin. She wiggled a little bit on top of me much to my dismay. I tried not to squeak and squirm beneath her but something about Maura's body in motion on top of mine was just...it was making me_ crazy_!

"You come with me to my foundations fundraising event Wednesday night. And you come as my _date_ Jane and not as my friend." Maura said running her hands through my hair gently.

I sighed and huffed. We'd had the same discussion before and I'd always managed to wiggle my way out of making a commitment to go. I didn't _want_ to go...I didn't know any of those people and I had nothing appropriate to wear. Besides Angela was coming home Friday and I'd rather spend my free time getting ready for her. And further more...I didn't want to embarrass Maura in front of all her uppity up friends. God only knows what those people talked about in conversation. If Maura's conversation was any hint I knew I'd be bored to freaking pieces the whole time and just want to go the hell home.

"Maura...how come you want me to go so bad? You know I wont fit in there." I sighed looking up into Maura's gorgeous eyes.

They were almost a clear hazel in the light of the early morning sun bombarding the room.

"The correct sentence structure would be, 'Why do you want me to go so bad_-ly'_" Maura said pleasantly and with a little smile at that.

I grumbled and rolled my eyes again.

"Really?" Was all I managed to say.

"One must not forget Mr. Adverb," Maura's smile widened.

I frowned.

"I know one who can forget me going to her foundations fundraiser," I eyed Maura unhappily.

Maura looked down at me sympathetically.

"I'll be with you the entire time Jane. And you will fit in just fine. I always end up going to my own events alone and it's unseemly for the CEO of the Isles foundation to be absent a date all the time. Besides...you'll be the most stunning woman in the room, and you'll be there with me! I can't wait to show you off! And furthermore you'll be working for the foundation soon and this is the perfect opportunity to meet everyone in a casual setting outside of the offices." Maura said matter of factly like she was proud of her reasoning.

"Casual! It's a _formal_ event!" I exclaimed.

"I don't even have anything to _wear_," I protested pouting up at Maura's smiling face.

She wiggled a little bit on top of me again. I had to bite my bottom lip and close my eyes briefly for a moment to steady my mind and my nerves. I wondered if Maura knew what she was doing to me wiggling all over me like she was? When I opened my eyes I got the sneaking feeling by the grin on her face that Maura knew _exactly _what she was doing. Maura had taken to being absent appropriate amounts of attire around the house sometimes when I would come back from walking Franklin Thomas or visiting Angela. I'd caught her several times in nothing more than her underwear and a rather sheer, short little bathrobe. Sometimes the robe would even be open a little more than necessary revealing ample amounts of all the sexy going on underneath.

"Albert will take you shopping. He's told me all about how much he wants to dress you up." Maura giggled pulling my hand to her lips and kissing my fingers lightly.

My whole body tingled. I sighed and rolled my eyes thinking of Albert. I loved the guy don't get me wrong, but every time I spent more than an hour in his company I was left feeling like I'd run a great gay marathon.

"I can use some of the money you forced me to take for our first date," I said sighing heavily.

It had been one hell of a row between Maura and I when she forced me to take money again. I'd gotten so frustrated I just gave up arguing.

"We just have to go somewhere reasonable...like...like a mall where normal people shop." I joked at Maura who was giggling at me.

"I'd prefer if you went somewhere a little more high-end. And of course the bill will come to me!" Maura tried to give me her best smile to disarm my mounting irritation.

"Maura no way! We've been through this a million times! I have everything I need. I've got all my own clothes from my apartment now and you've already bought me like three suits that cost more than everything I own. I don't need anything else...you've given me everything already. I can buy my damn dress!" I sighed rolling my eyes.

I wished Maura would just drop it. I wished Maura didn't think she had to buy me things all the time. I wished she knew I'd still care for her just as much if she didn't have millions in the bank just to throw around at her pleasure. But Maura and I were not the same people. Love in my eyes was a shoulder to cry on and a hot family meal at the dinner table. Love in Maura's eyes was green paper with Benjamin Franklin's face on the front. How could I show her that you couldn't buy love...it wasn't for sale? It was something that was given freely and with no strings attached. I felt like I had a long road ahead of me as far as convincing Maura of all that.

"How would it look for my lady to show up in anything less than purple labels?" Maura argued.

I knew she was gearing up for another fight. Her eyebrows were arched in that way that told me she was going to get her way no matter what I said. I almost wanted to cry, I didn't want to argue with Maura anymore, it was just so _exhausting_.

"Maura _please!"_ I wailed.

"I can buy my own _clothes _at least. You buy _everything_ else...even stuff I don't really need." I sighed trying to wiggle out from underneath her.

Maura spread her legs and straddled me in such a way that I was locked underneath her. I felt her pelvis push into my own and her strong thighs holding me still...a slave to her will. I felt something move inside me that sent juices oozing from between my legs. I stifled a moan. Maura looked down at me unsmiling, her eyes were low and burning with some unspoken thoughts I couldn't quite read.

"My mother is going to be there, the vice president of my corporation, and most of the other major shareholders. James will be there along with his partners, Allison and everyone from the foundation will be there also. Most of greater New York will be there actually all dressed in their finest and you will be dressed better than all of them. Albert will see to that." Maura said leaning closer to me and resting her head in her hands propped up on her elbows.

Our faces were so close our lips were almost touching as we spoke.

"Your...your_ mom _is going to be there?" I asked suddenly feeling a great deal of panic.

The idea of meeting the mother of the wealthiest person I'd ever known was making me more than a bit nervous. Actually I was freaking _out_ inside, but I was doing everything in my power to maintain an outer exterior of reserve and calm. I don't know if it was working. Maura didn't seem uncomfortable at all about my meeting her mother. She seemed almost...almost _excited_ about it.

"She'll love you Jane." Maura said happily grinning at me.

I wasn't convinced.

"She will not! She'll think I'm a loser and that you're crazy for doing everything you do for me." I sighed trying to wiggle out from beneath Maura again.

But that woman's thighs were remarkably strong...she held me in place with little effort on her own part.

"My mother has no say over how I spend my personal money. She couldn't care less anyway...she's only concerned about her art and the business. I've never introduced her to a lady I was dating before. Not since college at least. She'll be happy that I finally showed up with someone and not by myself like always." Maura kissed my fingers again lightly.

I got shudders all over again, but...I still felt so uncertain of myself.

"So we're...we're dating?" I asked softly lowering my eyes from Maura's and looking at her lips instead.

She had such nice lips. Maura arched an eye brow and looked at me like she couldn't believe I'd even dare to ask her that.

"Do you not consider our relationship to be in such a place?" she asked, she sounded almost hurt.

"NO! I mean...yes...yes of course! I actually...actually I think most people think you're my girlfriend. All the people assume as much that I've met so far with Albert or James and at the foundation and the hospital. I didn't correct them. I thought it would be best to let them assume since we're putting on this song and dance show for Angela's sake." I grinned.

Maura seemed almost angry. Her eyes glowed that dangerous bright red again. I was worried for a moment that she was furious I let people think I was her girlfriend.

"Is that the only reason you think I'm doing this? Is that the only reason you didn't correct people's assumption?" Maura said in that hollow angry tone.

"Jesus Maura NO! I...I care for you! You're all I think about. I miss you constantly when you're gone...even though you kinda drive me crazy. And...I know you care for me too!" I said cradling Maura's face in my hand.

Maura smiled at that. I loved the beauty of her soft smile. It made her whole face look adorable and precious, a far cry from the fury I saw sometimes in her eyes.

"I'm just thinking this isn't one of those things you take your whore too!" I said before I could stop the words from flying out of my mouth.

I immediately regretted it. Maura's face turned into that mask of hardly contained fury again. Her eyes were blazing and her jaw quivered. I felt like I'd shrunk three sizes under the power of that gaze. It was a moment before Maura spoke again.

"We spoke about you referring to yourself as a whore before Jane...several times actually." Maura said dangerously.

I'd mistakenly called myself a whore twice already since Maura got back from Boston.

"I'm sorry I forgot," I said honestly.

I _was_ sorry and I _did _forget how furious Maura got when I let the word 'whore' slip from my mouth.

"I've never kissed a whore a day in my life." Maura said eying me sternly.

I giggled.

"You kissed_ me_," I smiled reaching up and cradling Maura's face in my hand again.

"And_ you _are not a whore," Maura said raising an eyebrow at me.

"I _was_," I corrected.

Maura rolled her eyes and rolled off of me.

"I'm not taking you to silly Spider Man if you insist on upsetting me." Maura sighed.

I rolled my own eyes and then rolled my own body on top of Maura's.

"Ok daddy...I'll go to your foundations thingy." I whispered against Maura's lips.

I thought I felt Maura squirm a little bit beneath _me_ this time. Every time I called her daddy Maura's eyes clouded over with something that looked very close to burning lust. I felt my own insides heat up. Maura and I stared into each others eyes for long moments lost in whatever it was we thought we saw in each other. The more I gazed at her, the more my heart swelled and the more the fire grew inside me. I didn't want to go to her charity's formal event, but I didn't want her to be angry with me either. If swallowing my insecurities and going to this fiasco with Maura was what would make her most happy...I'd just have to grit and bare it. That's just how much I cared for her.

I absent-mindedly traced the outline of Maura's lips with my thumb. The smile that broke out on Maura's face took my breath away. I felt drawn to her, I needed her...I needed to feel her lips against mine again. I brushed several loose strands of Maura's honey blond hair from her face and leaned down closer and closer...!I heard Maura's breath hitch in her throat, I felt her body shudder beneath me and her hands wrap around my waist pulling me closer to her. I felt my heartbeat quicken and my insides explode with fire. I closed my eyes just before our lips touched when...

...**BANG!**

The sound of something heavy hitting the floor tore me from my precious moment. I rolled off of Maura in an instant and sat up straight. Maura sat up too, both our eyes were wide with frustration and annoyance. I wanted to be kissing Maura right then...not...not dealing with whatever mischief I knew my dog was causing. I choked on a million curses.

"EL**_ DIABLO_**!" Consuela screeched from somewhere in the apartment.

"Oh NO!" I wailed trying to scoot out of the bed to see what the hell my dog had done now.

Franklin Thomas was a terrible little menace sometimes. Ever since Maura got home I'd been trying my hardest to curb his rebellious bad little habits but he never seemed to listen to me. Maura however had a way with him that neither myself or Consuela had managed with all our screaming and chasing him around the apartment until we were out of breath and gasping for air.

"Stay here sweetheart, I'll deal with little Diablo,"Maura said rolling her eyes and crawling out of bed.

I heard much commotion and screaming from Consuela. I could hear Maura's voice too only she sounded very stern and commanding. I heard Franklin Thomas whimper a few times. I smiled. Maura had a way of bending that dog to her will. Maura had only to get a certain look in her eye and hiss at FT in such a way that he would stop whatever mischief he was up to and run in a corner and hide from Maura's fury. It was hysterical actually, FT didn't do that for _anyone_ except Maura. Maura was a tough daddy, Franklin Thomas learned that the hard way. Ever since Maura spanked him for chewing up one of her shoes he'd taken to cowering around her and treading lightly. I couldn't even be upset when Maura spanked FT even though he was whimpering and crying and looking at me with eyes pleading for rescue. Something about seeing Maura like that was...well it was sexy. Now every time my puppy misbehaved when Maura wasn't around I'd threaten to tell daddy he was a bad boy and he'd stop whatever he was doing and run under the coffee table and hide.

A few moments and many screeches from Consuela later Franklin Thomas came running to the bedroom with his tail tucked between his legs and hopped onto the bed with me curling into my arms and trembling. I giggled as I cradled my little devil in my arms.

"What did you do buddy? Did you make daddy mad?" I asked him scratching behind his ears.

Franklin Thomas licked my face and whined. Maura reappeared in the doorway leaning against it with a newspaper folded in her hand and a glimmer in her eyes. I knew she spanked Franklin Thomas again. I could tell by the way Maura's eyes burned and her lips turned up into a satisfied smirk. Maura's blue silk negligée was short...very very short. It stopped halfway down her thighs leaving very much of her toned sexy legs exposed. The cut of the negligée around her chest was far more revealing than anything in a Victoria's Secret add. Even dressed as she was Maura was giving off an air of power and command leaning against the door frame with her arms crossed and her eye brows arched. I felt that burning in my core again.

"Was he really bad?" I asked timidly.

Maura managed to smile at me but there was still that shadow of sexy behind her eyes.

"He knocked over a lamp on the end table in the living room," Maura said rolling her eyes.

I thought it looked like she was trying not to laugh.

"I'm sorry Maura," I sighed hanging my head.

I hated that Franklin Thomas was so keen on ruining everything in Maura's beautiful apartment.

Maura only smiled wider.

"You and your puppy are going to have to take some training classes. But for now it's time to get up. I want to have breakfast with you before I leave for the office and you leave for the hospital."

I felt my face fall.

"You aren't coming to the hospital with me?" I asked sadly.

I loved visiting Angela with Maura by my side. I loved holding my baby, but I loved watching Maura hold Angela too. Maura was always so gentle and so sweet with Angela in her arms. She always spoke softly and would run her fingers through Angela's curls just like I always did. Even still, even when Angela was in Maura's arms there was something so powerful and intriguing about the woman. Maybe it was that I knew Maura could be so different. Maybe it was that I'd seen Maura in a fury fit for a queen. Maybe it was that I knew Maura could bend and break very powerful people to her will that made her gentleness so...so sweet and so sexy. If there were any two arms I felt confident in placing my daughters care other than my own...they were Maura's arms.

"I have to run by the office and check up on a few things but I'm not going to drag you with me this time. I want you to visit Angela and enjoy yourself. I'll meet up with you later and take you to see your silly little movie," Maura smirked at me.

"Spider Man is AWESOME!" I growled, narrowing my eyes at Maura.

Maura only rolled her eyes.

After Maura and I had both showered and dressed, Maura in her thousand dollar skirt suit and I in an old pair of jeans and a tank top, we sat down at the kitchen island for breakfast. Maura was making me eat fruit and whole wheat toast again. I didn't so much mind the fruit...but whole wheat anything was yucky. I'd tried to get Consuela to make me bacon and eggs but Maura caught me, pinched my side and scolded me for my bad eating habits..._again!_

"But Maura...can't I just eat something I _like_ for once? Even Consuela thinks I should eat bacon and eggs!" I grinned at Maura's not to amused face.

"Yes...you need eat more...look like stick!" Consuela piped in placing a plate full of a variety of sliced fruits in front of me.

"Seeee!" I said triumphantly popping a grape in my mouth.

Maura only eyed Consuela over the rim of her coffee cup. She was wearing her reading glasses again, Maura liked to read the paper while she ate breakfast and I liked to watch cartoons on the flat screen above the stove. My affinity for old Bugs Bunny, Road Runner, and Tom and Jerry cartoons were another sore spot for Maura.

"_Those cartoons only instill an affinity for violence in very young children." _Maura scolded me one morning as I watched an old Elmer Fudd and Bugs Bunny cartoon.

_"Maura! It's just not that serious. These old cartoons are classics. Didn't you watch these when you were a kid?" _I'd replied curiously.

Maura just pursed her lips and went back to reading her paper_. _

_"I wasn't allowed to watch filth. I read old French story books instead." _Maura said haughtily.

I rolled my eyes.

_"Maura...I'm starting to think you missed out on a lot of things as a child."_ I sighed.

_"I did not! I had the best education and the best opportunities. I went to the best schools and had the best tutors and teachers. I had everything I needed growing up," _Maura said eyeing me sideways.

_"Yeah...but you didn't have any fun! You didn't get to play hopscotch or baseball or duck duck goose! You didn't get to go trick or treating or play hide and seek with your friends or sneak off on your bike and buy candy behind your parents backs! AND you didn't get to watch freaking cartoons." _I'd raved.

Maura looked sad when I said all that. I felt sort of bad. I didn't mean to shine a light on how deprived Maura actually was. I mean...she did have all the best things money could buy when she was a kid...but she didn't experience so many other things necessary to become a well-rounded human being. Simple things like...like friendship and love and social acceptance. I think that had something to do with why Maura couldn't understand why I liked sports and cartoons and junk food_. _

_"I...I don't know how to ride a bike," _Maura said softly looking at me over the top of her news paper_. _

My jaw dropped.

_"WHAT!" _I gasped.

Who the hell didn't know how to ride a bike in their freaking thirties...I mean really!

_"I...I never learned. I learned to play the violin and speak French and German and Portuguese instead." _

_"You know all that stuff...but you can't ride a freaking bike! Oh Maura!"_ I shook my head sadly.

_"It's ok. I don't mind. I don't need to know how to ride a bike." _Maura said trying to smile.

I wasn't convinced. I suddenly had a bright idea but it would have to wait for later.

"Consuela don't feed Jane unnecessary amounts of junk food." Maura eyed her maid over the frame of her glasses.

I think Maura knew Consuela snuck me pastries and candy bars when Maura wasn't home. Consuela might have been a huge pain in the ass, and she sure as hell hated FT, but she was great at sneaking me treats behind Maura's back and keeping secrets between the two of us.

"What me? Neva...I _neva_!" Consuela feigned innocence.

I smirked. I wished Consuela sounded more convincing when she lied.

Maura only rolled her eyes.

"I have to get to the office," Maura said rising from her seat and kissing me softly on the cheek.

"You and Consuela and Franklin Thomas behave...don't let your puppy terrorize Bass," Maura said running her hand through my hair as she grabbed her briefcase and walked toward the elevators.

"I'll miss you Maura," I called after her.

"I'll miss you too Jane," Maura called back.

Consuela made me bacon and eggs after Maura left. I ate every bit of it with a grin on my face.

**Maura**

I sat in my office most of the morning making phone calls and looking over profit and loss statements for the last quarter. I was pleased with the direction my business was going. Isles Enterprises had reported a six percent gain so far for the year and I was ecstatic. Even in the recession we'd always managed to turn a small profit or at least break even. That was mostly due to a team of very hard-working Ivy league graduates I'd hired to restructure the business. I was actually looking forward to the next board meeting when I could make our profits public to the board members and the share holders. Even with all the good news about my business that isn't why I came into the office today. I came in today because I wanted to speak to the detectives about the results of the blood samples and hair samples and fingerprints I found in the car that hit Jane's family.

Jane seemed to love to be around me when I was home and although I certainly didn't mind...I loved Jane's company after all...it made it extremely difficult to discuss her families case without her overhearing. I hadn't lied to Jane per say when I told her I was coming to the office to 'check up on a few things' but I hadn't told her the outright truth either. I wouldn't do that until I could tell her the person that had killed her family was behind bars.

Jane seemed to be adapting well to living with me...well most of the time at least. She still referred to herself as a whore far to much for my liking. It drove me insane every time she did that. I didn't know what else to do to convince Jane that I didn't see her as a whore and I never would. I knew Jane appreciated all the things I'd done for her, I could tell by the way she smiled at me and curled against me every night before she fell asleep. But still, I had a feeling all the money in the world couldn't move Jane to love me outright the way I wanted her too. Jane seemed most affectionate toward me when I was holding Angela in my arms. Jane would smile and kiss the top of my head with sparkling eyes every time I cradled her baby and sang softly in Angela's ear. Those were the times I felt closest to Jane, that was when I truly felt Jane appreciated me most. Even still...something had to be done about the lingering pain she felt over losing her family.

I knew Jane could never commit truly to starting a new family when the shadow of her loss still haunted her. Besides...I wanted Angela to know there was justice in the world when she was finally old enough to understand what had happened to her uncles and her grandmother. I wanted Angela to know that the good guys _do_ win, even though life is terribly cruel and unfair sometimes. I didn't want Angela to grow up in the shadow of her mother's pain and subsequently carry a shadow of her own with her always. I wanted the best for Angela...and I wanted the best for Jane. And in this instance...the best wasn't something I could throw my credit card at. In this instance Jane needed my skill and not my money. I would give Jane everything I had to offer. I wanted to be her Spider Man!

I picked up my phone and dialed Detective Korsack's number. I was grateful when he answered on the third ring.

"Detective Korsack," his deep voice sounded through the line.

"Detective, it's Doctor Isles how are you?" I asked pleasantly.

"Doctor! I'm good...how are you?" he seemed shocked that I was calling him on a Sunday morning while I was on leave.

I knew he'd be in the station today, I'd checked the schedule before I left and saw that he was on call. Of all the detectives and officers in the precinct I liked Korsack and Frost the best. They seemed genuinely pleasant and weren't caught up in all the ego I found most of their co workers to possess.

"I'm doing well detective. I'm calling to check up on some samples I sent to my lab for review. It's for an open case...vehicular homicide about five years ago...case number 53321..."

"...I remember the case. You asked me about it before you left on leave. I worked that case actually, but we never got anywhere because there were no witnesses and no evidence." Korsack sighed heavily into the phone.

"The medical examiner at the _time_ found no evidence...but I found some things when I combed through the car last week. They were small things...hard to detect, but I managed to pull a few samples anyway. Because of the fact that the national DNA database has been introduced since the case went cold I was hoping my evidence might yield a hit." I said crossing my fingers.

I prayed I was right. I prayed I could give Jane what she wanted most in the world. I hoped and I prayed...please please please please!

"Well, I got something on my desk this morning with the same case number on it. But the results were inconclusive. Honestly I don't think your lab guys are as good as you. Most of us hold our crucial evidence until you come back because we can't trust your people to be as thorough as you are. We don't call you the Queen of the Dead for nothing. You're the best!" Korsack chuckled to himself.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. I hated that nickname. I knew they called me that behind my back...but I'd always thought it was because I never engaged them in personal conversation and preferred the quiet of my morgue to the boisterous noise of the bull ben. I had no idea it stemmed from some sort of respect for my craft and skill.

"The samples I submitted were good samples. Are you saying they just didn't turn up any hits?" I asked sadly.

"No...the lab guys just couldn't get any conclusive DNA or complete fingerprints. The samples are so old and most likely a bit contaminated. They don't know all your tricks Doctor. If you ran the labs yourself you might come up with something different. But as it is I'm thinking your people just don't have the skill it takes to pull anything definitive from these samples." Korsack said sympathetically.

I sighed heavily closing my eyes against the reality of what Korsack was saying. He was right and I knew it. If I wanted something done right...I'd have to do it myself.

"Perhaps I should fly back to Boston and run the labs myself as you say."

"I thought you were on leave. Can't it wait until you get back? It's a cold case after all, nobody is gonna rush this thing in the department. Why are you even looking into this anyway? We let this case go years ago." Korsack inquired curiously.

I thought of brushing him off...I thought of being cold and short like I most often was with my co workers...then I thought better of it.

"The sister and daughter of the three people killed in that accident is a friend of mine. I want to give her closure and this is the only way." I said openly and truthfully.

Korsack was quiet for a few moments.

"It's a long shot you know." He said honestly.

"I do know. But I have to try anyway."

"Well, I'll put a call in to your lab and tell the techs to hold the evidence for you when you get back. When are you coming?" He asked pleasantly.

"Late next week." I said without even thinking about it.

I had to be in New York Tuesday for the home inspection and interview with DCS, and Wednesday for my foundations' fundraiser, then I would be free to leave for Boston again. Jane would be ok by herself. I hated to think I might not be home to see Angela released from the hospital and brought to the apartment for the first time. But it's a sacrifice I was willing to make if it meant I could give Angela and her mother a lifetime of justice and peace of mind.

"All right. I'll let 'em know down there." Korsack said kindly.

I smiled to myself.

"Thank you Detective. I'll see you next week." and hung up with a heavy sigh.

I was hoping for better news. I was hoping to hear they'd found a match based on the evidence I collected and made an arrest. I was hoping so many things...but I wouldn't lose hope completely. I would get to the bottom of this if it killed me. I looked at my watch and gasped when I saw it was already after four p.m. Jane hadn't called me all day. I wondered what she was doing. I dialed her number on my cell phone.

"Maura!" Jane exclaimed excitedly when she picked up.

I smiled, I wondered what mischief she was getting into to make her so cheery.

"Jane...what are you doing?" I asked curiously.

"Maura...are you all done with your office stuff?" she asked me.

I could see the grin on her face as plain as day by the tone of her voice. I knew the wheels in Jane's head were turning and her mind was full of some crazed idea of excitement.

"Yes...I was just about to leave." I said uncertainly.

What new horror did Jane have in store for me? What new silly thing was she going to make me endure for her amusement more than for the life experience she always claimed when she was making me do something I thought was ridiculous. I hadn't forgotten the fiasco of Jane trying to teach me to play basketsball at the park yesterday. That had been horrible. I'd accidentally given a man a black eye trying to shoot a hoopie or whatever it's called. Jane had to make excuses for me furiously to everyone on the court and drag me back to the apartment choking back giggles.

_"You almost took that guys head off Maura!" _Jane exclaimed after we were safely back in the apartment_. _

_"I didn't mean to Jane! I was trying to make a hoopie!" _I protested sitting on the floor and pulling off my tennis shoes that Jane made fun of me for earlier.

Jane covered her face in her hand and grumbled.

_"It's called 'shoot a hoop' Maura! _Jane whined shaking her head.

_"Why is it called that? There are no guns involved in Basketsball. We weren't shooting anything!" _I argued back rubbing my sore toes.

Jane only shook her head harder. Her brows were furrowed in such a way that said she couldn't believe what was actually happening.

_"It's basket-ball Maura...not baskets-ball. And when you shoot a hoop you raise your arms over your head and flick your wrist. You don't launch the ball straight out from your chest at other people. What were your thinking? I bet that guy has a freaking concussion!" _Jane wailed looking at me like I was a lost cause.

_"I didn't do that badly Jane. It was my first time. I hit the hoopie once or twice." _I pouted_. _

Jane just sighed.

_"Yeah...one of those times it bounce off the hoop and knocked a child over on his ass. The second time it hit me it the back of the head. I had to get you outta there before you killed somebody!" _Jane said trying not to laugh.

I laughed outright.

_"I'm not a basketsball kind of person Jane!" _I giggled.

_"I see that." _Jane said scooping me off the floor and carrying me to the bedroom_. _

I wrapped my arms around Jane's neck and enjoyed how strong she was...despite her skinny physique_. _

_"You can teach me though!" _I smiled at her.

Jane smiled at me back_._

_"I'm gonna teach you lots of stuff little miss basketsball!" _Jane cracked.

We giggled all the way to the bedroom.

"Maura...change into your sports clothes and meet me at the park again. Meet me by the bench where we had lunch that one time!" she said excitedly.

I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"My sports clothing? We aren't playing basketsball again are we?" I moaned remembering my sore feet from before.

"NO! God no!" Jane grumbled.

I knew she was remembering that nightmare as well.

"This is something different." she insisted.

I sighed.

"Ok! I'll be there in twenty minutes."

I was nervous the whole walk to the park. I had no idea what Jane was thinking...but I knew it was something I would most likely hate. I had to go though and at least give it a try. Jane did bend to my desires most of the time...it was only fair that I bend to hers every now and then as well. I just wished Jane's things didn't involve me getting bruised or dirty or hurting people. I was so nervous about whatever trick Jane had up her sleeve that I actually had butterflies in my stomach and a lump in my throat. But when I approached the bench Jane was referring too I stopped short and smiled. Jane was standing there holding a pretty pink bicycle and smiling widely at me.

I covered my mouth to hide my grin and felt tears behind my eyes as I walked the rest of the way toward Jane. Jane met me with a hug that swept me off my feet and she spun me around in a circle.

"Do you like it Maura?" Jane asked me shuffling me toward the bike.

"I bought it with my own money," Jane said proudly sticking out her chest a little bit.

I pulled Jane into another hug wrapping my arms around her neck and kissing her lips softly several times. Jane kissed me back, I thought I noticed her cheeks blush. It was the sweetest of kisses. Our tongues danced, our bodies folded into each others, my mind wandered to places it had never been. I moaned softly into Jane's mouth. Jane smiled against my lips and her tongue moved further to explore me. It was many long moments before we released from our kiss. My lips left Jane's and felt cold and lonely absent Jane's mouth on my own. Jane smiled at me when she finally opened her eyes again. Her cheeks were red and flushed. I giggled at how innocent and adorable she looked in that moment.

"I love the bike Jane...but you know I can't ride it." I whispered softly against her lips.

"Don't worry...I'll teach you everything you need to know." Jane smiled down at me.

I wrapped my hands in her long dark curls and pulled her into another deep passionate kiss.

"What if I fall and hurt myself? I-I-I'm kind of clumsy!" I said softly blushing a little bit in embarrassment.

"I got you babe!" Jane said with a smile that could melt gold.


	10. Inspection!

**JA/N: So as I mentioned before...I was nominated for two Rizzle awards for this story...shout out mrj726! I'm up for best author and best AU so if you guys like this story vote for my ass. The link is 'Rizzle awards at word press dot net' or something like that. Just type in Rizzle awards on your web browser and you should find the link and where to vote. My screen name is Kissdagrl...so...yaay me! Anyway, this chapter is when things go crazy again. But I didn't want it to be all heart wrenching like it was earlier so I tried to play up the comedy a bit along with all the disaster. I hope I succeeded in making it as funny as it is crazy. Let me know what you guys think...keep the reviews coming...if you guys lose interest in the story I'll stop writing it and focus on something else. Also I got a new beta for my other story Breathless...shout out cjstar! I'll be posting chapters for that story again this week sometime so look out for it. Anyway I'm very proud of this chapter...let me know what you think...it was so much fun to write. And with all that being said...here we go!**

**Jane**

It was Tuesday morning, the morning of the inspection. Neither Maura or I had slept much the night before. Every time I dropped off to sleep Maura would shake me awake with some question or some worried expression about today and I'd have to reassure her that everything would indeed be fine and it would all work out in the end. I had to tell her a million times that she hired slick ass James for a reason and he was the best and that we were all going to get through the inspection together. By the time it was time to get up and get dressed even I was a nervous wreck after the fretful night of trying to placate Maura and coax her to sleep. My nerves were now frazzled and the state of my mind was nothing short of exhausted. I wished the whole situation over as quickly as possible. Worst of all James just called and informed us of him being stuck in traffic on the turnpike and was running really late. That was devastating news. I needed another rational mind with me because Maura was quickly dissolving into a panicking mess.

Maura paced around the apartment nervously. Her breath came rapidly like she'd run a marathon. She was wringing the life from her hands. Her eyes were wide and her skin was pale and I thought she might be working a trench into the floor in the hallway from all her pacing. I was nervous as all hell too, but I didn't have time to focus on my feelings because of my terror that Maura might be on the brink of a nervous breakdown. Maura barely touched her breakfast and had spilled coffee all down the front of the pants suit she was wearing. Poor Maura dissolved into tears over the whole thing. It took myself and Consuela both to steer her back into the bedroom sobbing and wailing to find something else for her to wear. Miss Connie picked the outfit and I tried to coax Maura into not being a blubbering hysterical mess. I wasn't doing a very good job...I kept saying everything the wrong way and Maura would start panicking all over again which made me want to panic right along with her. Worse the DCS social worker hadn't even shown up yet, they weren't due for another fifteen minutes and that didn't seem like enough time to get Maura to stop digging a trench into the floor.

I had no idea why Maura was as nervous as she was. All we had to do was tell the story right. We had a great story and Angela's new bedroom looked like an infant Disney wonderland or something equally over the top. There was absolutely nothing those DCS people could find fault with as far as Angela's living arrangements. Angela's room was bigger than my apartment and everything in it was worth more than me! Even still, Maura was a disaster. I don't know why it mattered so much to her but Maura was furious that she had to wear a pants suit because all her dresses showed off her knees. Her poor knees got skinned during our little bicycling adventure the other afternoon.

That whole thing had been one of the greatest headaches of my life...but it was also outright hysterical. I wish I had thought to wrap Maura in bubble wrap before I put her on a bike though. The woman spent more time falling off the bike than she did actually riding the damn thing. I wish at least I had thought to buy knee pads and elbow pads. I wasn't aware when Maura said she was clumsy, what she really meant was she was the _queen_ of uncoordination. It was so bad that somehow she even gave me a black eye with her elbow when I tried to run along side her and hold the bike while she figured out how to balance. I ended up on my back wailing and moaning with Maura leaning over me crying and begging forgiveness. I tried to convince myself that it was a natural thing for someone who didn't know how to ride a bike to cause bodily harm to those around them...but when I saw my damaged eye in Maura's pocket mirror and Maura's skinned knees we hobbled and cursed our way back to the apartment. I decided right then and there I'd have to wear a helmet next time along with body armor and wrap Maura's ass up in a foam suit or something.

"_You both look like mess!" Consuela hissed running between the two of us with a furrowed brow and many scolding words. _

_Maura and I just hobbled home from our bike riding adventure and Maura was laid up on the couch with her legs across my own. I was sitting there feeling light-headed and dizzy from the ferocious elbow I took to the eye. Franklin Thomas stood on the back of the couch trying to lick my injured eye in between barking at Consuela who was dabbing hydrogen peroxide on Maura's knees. _

_"I think I need to go to a hospital." I wailed moving my hand in front of my eyes and wondering why three hands were waiving at me instead of just one. _

_"You fine...you just need ice...and more of common sense." Miss Connie chided me gesturing toward me with the peroxide bottle and spilling some all over my shirt. _

_"HEY!" I grumbled, "Cut it out. And what do you mean I need more common sense? I didn't do anything wrong here!" I eyed Consuela's three dancing heads angrily. _

_Consuela only scoffed. _

_"Why you take doctor to ride bicycle when she don't know how? Now knees all tore up and you face look like you beaten! Both look like mess...like you got in street fight." Consuela sighed dabbing at Maura's knees again. _

_"We did get in a street fight...well...Maura got in a fight with the street...the street won!" I cracked. _

_"Connie, Jane didn't know I'd be so dismal at riding a bike. She was very sweet to try and teach me to ride. It's all my fault this happened, look what I did to her pretty face." Maura moaned. _

_Maura looked like a mess, her hair was damp and stringy with sweat, her face red and flushed from overexertion and embarrassment, and her eyes were heavy and low with weariness. All in all we both looked ridiculous. I refused to let Maura wallow in her misery though. Even though I felt like I might have a concussion and I could barely see out of my left eye; I'd still had a lot of fun at least attempting to teach Maura how to ride a bike...even if she was a dismal student. _

_"Awww Maur! It's nothing a little make up can't fix," I looked over at Maura and tried to smile pleasantly. _

_Maura looked up at me and gave me something close to a half laugh half sob. _

_"Your eye is almost swollen shut, you're going to have to wear a patch like Popeye!" Maura wailed. _

_I perked up. _

_"You know who Popeye is Maura?" I exclaimed. _

_Maura laughed._

_"I learned from those silly cartoons you like to watch in the morning." Maura giggled. _

_I giggled with her. _

_"That's precious! I did teach you something after all!" I cooed at Maura trying to lean down and kiss her but I had to stop short cause my head got all swimmy again and I accidentally brushed Maura's injured knees. We both just ended up moaning in pain instead of kissing each other. _

_Franklin Thomas hopped down on Maura's chest and started licking her all about the face. Maura tried to speak but no words came out with FT's tongue all over her lips and nose. _

_"El DIABLO," Consuela hissed smacking FT on the rear making him yelp and scurry under the coffee table._

_"HEY!" I wailed._

_"Dog evil like devil!" Consuela said sticking an ice pack over my eye and bandaging up Maura's knees. _

_"I'm sorry I failed you so badly Jane," Maura wailed covering her eyes with her arm in shame. _

_I laughed. "It's ok Maura...we'll try again sometime with mid-evil suits of armor so you can't kill us both!" _

_Maura laughed. _

_"It would be impossible to balance in a suit of armor."_

_"It couldn't be much worse than you were doing without one," I laughed hysterically. _

_Maura swatted me with a magazine. _

_"OWWW," I feigned pain, "Maybe you just like being abusive." I teased. _

_"Oh don't even." Maura scoffed._

_"I'm just saying we're both a little worse for wear."_

_Maura sighed while Consuela grumbled under her breath as she finished bandaging us up. _

_"It's a really pretty bike though," Maura smiled at me. _

_"It's a lot prettier than the two of us right now," I shot back sarcastically. _

_We both chuckled and then groaned in pain. _

"Maura, you gotta calm down...everything is going to be ok." I pleaded with Maura for like the hundredth time this morning.

Maura stopped her pacing just long enough to smile at me nervously.

"Jane your eye is just...oh my goodness! And James is running late! I need him here, he's supposed to _be_ here!" Maura wailed and continued on digging her trench into the hallway.

"He can't help that there is traffic Maura. He'll be here as soon as he can. And my eye is fine...I can see out of it...sort of! Stop fretting, you're freaking me _out!"_ I hissed.

In all actuality the entire left side of my face was purple and blue from my lips up and it hurt like _hell!_ But I couldn't tell Maura that, not now, not while she looking like she was going to dig a trench to the center of the earth with her pacing.

Franklin Thomas scurried past with a shoe in his mouth. I grumbled and cursed in frustration. I think FT knew something big was going on today and he was doing his best to make everything worse for everyone.

"Little** rat** dog," Consuela screamed when FT made his way through the kitchen with the shoe.

I chased after FT leaving Maura alone with her panic.

"Dog always eating shoe and causing havoc." Consuela wailed chasing my silly dog around the dining table with a broom again.

Franklin Thomas only yipped with the shoe in his mouth and pranced around showing off his prize. I snatched the shoe from him and swatted his butt with it as he ran by me.

"Not today you little _shit," _I growled at him.

FT only turned his head sideways and barked at me playfully thinking I wanted to play a game with him.

"GO_ away _and make yourself scarce. You better not be bad while the social worker is here or you'll find yourself back in one of those sad puppy commercials again." I hissed at him running back to the bedroom and tossing Maura's shoe on the bed.

I heard the intercom buzz. Panic set in. I felt my heart begin to race and my stomach drop to the floor. I clenched my chest and tried to steady my breathing. I wish I didn't feel like I needed to poop so bad. This had to go well, Angela's welfare depended on it. Maura's reputation depended on it. My_ life _depended on it. It all came down to this. I heard the elevator ding and Consuela greeted the social worker in that horrible accent of hers. I closed my eyes, took two deep breaths and turned around to find Maura standing in the bedroom door wild-eyed and white-faced. I sighed heavily and moved to sweep Maura into a crushing hug.

"It's gonna be ok Maura, James said it wouldn't take more than an hour and he'll be here soon to help us through it. And then it's over until next month." I tried to sound as reassuring as possible.

Maura fell into the hug trembling.

"I can't lie," she whispered in my ear.

I rolled my eyes.

"Yes you keep saying that. Just let me do the talking ok." I said taking Maura's hand and leading her into the living room.

We walked into the living room to find Claire Haverty in another rumpled suit standing behind the couch looking around with quizzical eyes and curious expressions. She was carrying that same brief case heavy with files and her lips carried an unpleasant pout. Consuela was bustling about fluffing pillows and wiping surfaces with her little duster thing.

"Oh...here is doctor and Miss Jane," Consuela said motioning toward Maura and I.

Claire turned around and nodded at us. Her eyes lingered on my swollen eye for a few moments, she looked taken aback by my appearance. I tried to brush it off. I was wearing that Prada suit Maura bought for me but still my eye was a grotesque mess. I wondered what Claire was thinking. I felt Maura's hand reach for mine again and I took it without thinking.

"Please, won't you sit down." I motioned toward the couch.

Claire sat down with a sigh of relief, she let her brief case fall to the floor and pulled out various files laying them out on the coffee table.

I pulled Maura to the love seat where we both sat awkwardly next to each other. Franklin Thomas came running into the living room with a pair of my underwear in his mouth. I wanted to throw something at him. Claire looked at FT wide-eyed as he ran around in circles with my underwear waiving around obscenely. Consuela kept hissing 'Diablo' at him and Maura looked fit to be tied. I grabbed FT by the scruff of the neck and ripped my underwear from his mouth stuffing it in my pocket and laughing nervously at Claire whose mouth was hanging open in amused shock. Consuela shooed FT from the room with many curses before turning to the guest.

"You want coffee?" Consuela asked in a high-pitched nervous voice.

She was wringing her hands and bouncing on her toes nervously. We hadn't told Consuela exactly who Claire was and what was going on. But I figured by Maura's demeanor all morning and my elevated stress level Consuela could figure out for herself that something serious was going down.

"Oh yes please," Claire said politely.

Consuela bowed almost in half at the waist before she scurried off toward the kitchen; she looked ridiculous. I tried not to roll my eyes.

"So..." I said, trying to break the heavy tension in the room.

"Let's get this thing started." I forced a smile on my face.

My eye hurt when I smiled though. I resisted the urge to wince in pain.

Claire cleared her throat and started thumbing through her file again.

"I'd like to see Angela's room first please, we require that children have their own rooms separate from adults." Claire said pleasantly.

"Of course," I piped in happily, "Maura would you like to show Miss Haverty around?" I elbowed Maura slightly in the side to get her to stop looking like she was going to pass out.

"Certainly," Maura squeaked.

I tried not to roll my eyes. I actually sat and waited in the living room while Maura showed Claire around the apartment. Since Maura paid for everything, I figured she at least could show it off. Maybe it would make Maura less nervous...it didn't! Claire and Maura returned to the living room ten minutes later, Maura sat back on the love seat with me twitching nervously, and Claire resumed her place on the couch. I lay my hand on Maura's knee to keep her from shaking it so badly. I tried to give Maura a smile, the smile she gave me in return was more of a nervous grimace!

"Miss Rizzolli, how long have you and Miss Isles had this...this living arrangement?" Claire asked.

She was looking right at me now, studying me. I think she still remembered the way Maura screamed at her in the hospital for not showing me more respect. I remembered that whole thing too...my goal was for that to never happen again. Nobody wanted to see Maura in another rage. Least of all _me_...I had to live with the woman.

"It's _Dr_. Isles actually and we've been living together for a little over a week." I said pleasantly.

"Where did you live before you moved here?"

"I have my own apartment across town. Maura and I thought this would be better for Angela." I said squeezing Maura's sweaty hand.

"I see." Claire said curiously "And how did you and Dr. Isles meet?" she said scribbling in her file.

"We met several months ago actually, at a coffee shop." I tried to sound as honest as possible.

Maura was squirming next to me. I squeezed her hand hoping she would stop wiggling so much. She was starting to freak me out again with all her fidgeting...and her hand was sopping wet.

"And...and in three months your relationship evolved into...into what exactly?" Claire Haverty asked studying Maura and I over the rim of her glasses.

She had an odd look on her face that said she wasn't buying into the whole charade.

"Maura and I are...we're good friends," I said confidently.

Claire nodded her head but didn't stop staring at Maura. I looked over at Maura. I wished she wasn't so sweaty and didn't look like she wanted to vomit all over me.

"Dr. Isles, you've taken temporary guardianship over Angela Rizzolli, hired Miss Rizzolli to work at your foundation,_ and_ offered Miss Rizzolli a place to live in your own home. Why would you do that for someone you met at a coffee shop a few months ago?" Claire asked studying Maura intensely.

Claire's eyes stayed locked on Maura, so did my own. You could have cut the tension in the room with a knife. Where the fuck was James when you needed him?

"I-I-I...Jane is a good friend of mine." Maura said finally.

I squeezed her hand. She looked like she was going to pass out.

"I see. I find that interesting because records show you actually live and work in Boston most of the year. In fact...since February 24, the day you supposedly met Miss Rizzolli, you've only spent a total of thirteen days in New York. I'm curious as to how you and Miss Rizzolli became so close?" Claire asked never taking her eyes from Maura's panicked face.

"We talked all the time..."I tried to cut in

"...I'd like Dr. Isles to answer the question please." Claire interrupted me.

I looked back at Maura...she seemed completely at a loss for words. I grew extremely nervous now. Maura always said she couldn't lie...but good grief. She really did look like she was going to pass out. Her hand was so sweaty my fingers were starting to prune. I started to panic all over again. If Maura didn't come up with something to say, and _fast_, this whole thing was going to unravel like bad crochet. I grew more and more nervous the longer it took Maura to answer. I tried to squeeze her hand for reassurance but I don't think I was getting through to her. Maura's face was pale, she pursed her lips so tightly they were turning blue. If my left eye wasn't so fucked up I would think the skin around her neck was turning an angry red. What the hell was wrong with her?

"Ummm Jane and I have gotten very close over the last few months via text messaging and...and internet chat...and...and...and!" Maura's skin was turning a violent shade of red; even my bad vision couldn't miss it this time. Angry splotches were breaking out all over the place and she was scratching at her neck furiously.

"Maura...are you _ok?"_ I whispered to her in a panic.

Maura looked at me wide-eyed and terrified. I really did think she was going to puke all over me until I heard a great crashing in the kitchen and the sound of many dishes breaking and scattering all over the floor.

"EL**_ DIABLO_**!" Consuela raved.

Every head in the room turned toward the kitchen. Claire looked concerned and a little scared. I jumped up and ran into the kitchen to find Consuela flat on her back moaning in pain. A silver tray was lying next to her and pieces of broken dishes, food, and coffee was everywhere. FT was running around gobbling down cookies and prancing excitedly at all the treats he'd made available for his delight. I knew FT had something to do with the hell going on in the kitchen. I wanted to scream, I wanted to pull my hair out, I wanted shake Franklin Thomas like a maniac but I couldn't do that. Not now. Not with that damn social worker sitting in the living room alone with Maura who looked like she needed a puke bag and a whole bottle of ointment.

"JESUS CHRIST!" I hissed through gritted teeth. "Franklin Thomas get the hell outta here _now,"_ I cursed at my evil puppy.

I picked up the broom and swatted at him running all around the kitchen trying to shoo him away. Maura appeared in the room looking like she went swimming in a pool of sweat and scratching at the angry red splotches all over her skin. She was jumping from foot to foot and whining pathetically as she tried to scratch at her skin.

"Maura good LORD!" I hissed at her.

What the hell was wrong with her?

"Oh my goodness," Maura gasped when she saw the scene playing out in front of her.

"Maura..._help _me. We gotta get Consuela up before Claire comes in here and see this madness," I raved running around like a maniac with the broom.

"OH Dear," Maura wailed moving to help Consuela who was spitting curses about 'Diablo' and 'satan' and many other things it wouldn't be appropriate to repeat.

I finally gave up chasing FT and moved to help Maura get Consuela back on her feet. Maura and I heaved and swore under our breath as we brought Consuela back to a standing position. Consuela's uniform had coffee and food crumbs covering the entire front. The whole situation was ridiculous. I could have put my fist through a wall. How could this be happening and on today of all days? And why did Maura look like she was turning into a tomato?

"Lets get her to the guest bedroom," I said struggling with Consuela's bulk.

Maura and I shuffled Consuela down the hall past the social worker who was looking at us with furrowed brows and wide eyes.

"It's nothing," I lied as we passed her "Just a little accident," I tried to laugh lightheartedly. My voice sounded more like squeaky nervous desperation.

We lay Consuela on the bed who was moaning about her achy back. I kneeled down next to the bed panting and grumbling. Maura was back to hopping around and squealing and trying to scratch at her inflamed skin.

"What the hell is going _on_ with you?" I hissed at Maura between my own gasps for air.

Maura looked down at me nervously.

"I have...my body has an immediate reaction to high amounts of stress and lying makes me break out into hives." Maura wailed hopping around again and scratching all over her body.

Her eyes were wild and panicked. Her hair was falling out of its pretty pin and her disheveled suit was twisted oddly on her body.

"You break out in_ hives _when you _lie?" _I asked incredulously. "That's the most _ridiculous_ thing I've ever heard in my whole entire_ life. _What the hell are we going to _do?" _I wailed collapsing onto the floor and laying on my back muttering and moaning right along with Consuela.

"I'm sorry Jane. I can't help it. It's just something that happens." Maura wailed.

"El Diablo be _death_ of me," Consuela moaned on the bed.

"Jesus_ Christ _Consuela you ain't gonna die." I hissed from the floor. "You aren't the one covered in fucking_ hives_," I spat angrily.

I shouldn't have been so mean to Consuela but I only had the energy for one disaster at a time. My head was starting to pound.

"We have to go back out there Jane...we have to get through this." Maura said hysterically scooting around the bed to stare down at me on the floor.

"Oh no...you aint going back out there Miss 'I break out into fucking hives if I lie'." I said looking up at her with narrowed eyes full of disbelief.

Maura looked ridiculous. Red welts shown all over her face and neck and arms. I felt terrible for being so angry with her, she really did look like an awful mess. I'm sure she was extremely uncomfortable by the condition of her inflamed skin.

"I _have_ to. I have temporary guardianship of Angela. Claire has to talk to me." Maura insisted.

She looked like she wanted to vomit again. I rolled my eyes and beat my fist into the floor furiously a few times. How was this happening?

"This is fucking out of control, how is this happening! I can't believe I agreed to this madness! Now we're stuck in this craziness...you and me both! This has just got to work out...this nightmare is turning into a night _terror_!" I raged in a hushed whisper quivering with stress and fury.

I managed to make it to my feet again, "Look...I'm going to go get some Tylenol for Consuela's back and _my_ fucking headache... and your ass needs some Benadryl or something for your damn _hives_. You look _insane!" _I hissed.

"Then we have got to go back out there and play house like this shit is normal." I said shaking Maura's shoulders in my frustration.

"You have just _got _to get it together. This was _your_ idea remember? _Suck it the fuck up!" _I hissed.

I was grinding my teeth so hard I could feel the vibrations in my head. Maura dissolved into tears.

"I'm_ sorry _Jane I thought I could do it. I thought it would all be ok. But I c-c-cant seem to figure out how n-n-not to lie." Maura wailed and sobbed into her hands.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head in disbelief.

"_God help me," _I wailed in my head.

"Ok...ok...ok...ok sweetheart it's gonna be ok," I said wrapping my arms around Maura's shaking sobbing hive ridden little body.

"I-I-I'm letting everyone d-d-down," Maura cried into my chest.

I rolled my eyes over her shoulder and rubbed my hand up and down her back trying to soothe some sense back into Maura.

"You have just _got_ to stop crying Maura...this isn't making anything better. Claire Haverty is probably thinking we're weird as hell right about now. Look...you go get the Tylenol and Benadryl and calm down. I'll clean up the kitchen and try and get back in here. Maybe we can salvage this," I tried to sound reassuring.

"M'kay" Maura said trying to choke back her tears.

I rolled my eyes and ran out the room.

"I'm sorry about all that...we're...we're...we're having some technical difficulties," I said nervously to Claire as I shuffled past her again.

I cursed when I walked back into the kitchen. There was mess everywhere, food, coffee, broken glass, sugar, creamer, spoons...everything was just everywhere. I ran around like a maniac trying to clear everything up off the floor. I didn't even bother with being quiet. I cursed and raved the whole time throwing everything into the sink and trashcan and all the while wishing I could strangle Franklin Thomas. Maybe it was best this happened though. A few more seconds longer and Maura would have thrown up all over me or passed out or something. This was just an unbelievable nightmare. I spotted an opened bottle of wine on the counter from last nights dinner. I dropped what I had in my hands in the sink, grabbed the bottle, and ran the back way around to the guest bedroom and popped the cork as soon as the door closed behind me. Maura was gulping from a Benadryl bottle and Consuela was shoveling pills down her throat. I rolled my eyes and turned up the bottle of wine in my mouth. I gasped for air when I had taken a couple long swigs.

"God I needed that." I hissed setting the bottle on the dresser next to me.

Maura moved and grabbed the bottle drinking heavily herself.

"Maybe you shouldn't mix alcohol and Benadryl Maura," I said concerned at what the mixture could do.

Maura's eyes went wide and she pulled the bottle from her mouth a little to quickly, red wine dribbled all down her chin and the front of her white shirt.

"JESUS CHRIST!" I wailed pulling the bottle from Maura's hand.

Maura started crying all over again.

"My shirt! It's ruined!" she sobbed.

"Oh fuck your _shirt...!"_ I hissed "What's ruined will be our_ lives_ if we don't get this shit together!" I raved turning up the wine bottle and taking another long swig.

"Oh Jane...I can't go out there looking like_ this_!" Maura cried and pouted.

"Oh good LORD! I gotta finish cleaning up the kitchen..."

"...Oh...my back!" Consuela wailed

"_Consuela_ damnit...just relax the pills will kick in soon!" I hissed across the room.

"I gotta finish cleaning up the kitchen...you change your shirt and meet me back in the living room when you get your shit together ok!" I sighed heavily.

I was weary to death already and it had only been thirty minutes.

"Ok...Ok...I can do this," Maura said wiping her tears and looking up at me with those pretty sparkling eyes.

"Yes Maura...you _can_ do this," I insisted.

I pecked her on the lips before I darted out of the room again. I attacked the mess in the kitchen with a renued fury. I was crawling around all over the place on my hands and knees scooping up bits of broken glass with the dust pan and mini broom when I felt someone else in the room.

"Ahem Ahem," I heard a voice clear.

I turned around and looked over my shoulder to find Claire staring down at me curiously.

"Oh...Claire...hello," I said breathlessly.

"_FUCK!" _I swore in my head.

I knew I must have been a site scooting all over the floor on my hands and knees. My pants knees were wet with coffee and I had crumbs all over my clothes.

"I wanted to ask you while Dr. Isles was away..." Claire paused as if trying to figure out exactly what she wanted to say.

She looked over her shoulder nervously as if to check to make sure she couldn't be overheard.

"Is...is Dr. Isles abusing you in some way?" Claire asked me gently like she was talking to some battered wife.

"WHAT?" I shot back.

What the hell was this woman talking about?

"It's just that...you have an awful black eye and Dr. Isles seems particularly nervous every time you speak. It's like she's trying to hide something and doesn't want you to say anything that might incriminate her." Claire said kindly.

She was almost patronizing in her manner. Her face had that forced, 'I'm your friend' look on it and her smile was making me sick. I turned my head and sighed. I almost started laughing. This was so ridiculous I just couldn't believe it.

"Claire...no Maura isn't _abusing _me. She elbowed me in the eye on accident." I said standing up again and leaning against the kitchen counter heavily.

Claire moved to stand next to me. The woman actually rubbed my back and pulled me into a tight hug.

"It's more common than you think for wealthy patrons to take in less fortunate women and offer them what seems like an exciting new life. When the abuse starts the battered women often feel like they have no one to confide in and no one will believe them, and they're scared to leave their abusers. But I will help you. I can get you and Angela to a safe place if you're willing to testify to your abuse." Claire said squeezing me tightly.

I wanted to die...I wanted to _die _and punch Claire Haverty in the fucking face before I did.

"I'm _not _being abused Claire. Dr. Isles is very good to me." I grumbled through gritted teeth, I was so angry I was seeing red.

Claire released me from the hug and held me at arm's length studying me. Her face had that awful sympathetic look on it again that was making me want to grab her by the throat.

"I know something is off here. I know your story doesn't add up or make sence. I also know you'd do anything to keep your child, including staying in an abusive relationship. But this isn't the way sweetheart. I know Dr. Isles is a very powerful person and has many tools at her disposal to keep you locked under her spell but you can get out...I can help you get out of here. But you have to testify to your abuse. You have to tell the truth about your situation."

I was so stunned and furious I didn't even know what to say. I knew my jaw was opening and closing but nothing was coming out but stutters and stammers and random curses.

"Is the abuse sexual as well, is Dr. Isles forcing you to perform sexual acts in payment for your staying here with her?"

"Oh_** GOD**_!" I wailed pulling out of the woman's arms and throwing my hands over my head in disbelief and frustration.

"This is ridiculous. What is _wrong _with you? Maura is my _friend..._there is no...no sexual _abuse_ good GRIEF!" I said turning and banging my head against the refrigerator over and over again.

"These situations aren't as uncommon as you think. Powerful people often prey on helpless women like yourself forcing them to do things they wouldn't normally do. Abusers always promise to care for their purchased whores in return for sexual favors."

"Stop _saying_ that. That's not what's going _on_ here." I cried continuing to bang my head against the fridge.

"Jane sweetheart," Maura called out to me reappearing in the kitchen.

I turned toward her and tried to smile through my panic. Maura looked just as disheveled as when I left her but at least she was wearing a clean shirt and her hives had gone away. Thank God for that at least...I couldn't thank him for much more at the current moment, what I needed to do was start praying. It would take a miracle for us to get out of this mess in one piece. Maura's eyes went wide when she saw Claire standing in the kitchen with me.

"W-W-what's going on?" Maura asked timidly.

"Claire here thinks you _beat me up!_" I blurted out before I could think better of it.

Claire looked at me shocked before turning to Maura and fixing her with her most haughty gaze.

"I was asking Miss Rizzolli how she came to have that black eye," Claire said studying Maura with narrowed accusing eyes.

"I...it was an accident. I didn't mean to elbow her in the face." Maura wailed.

Maura looked like she was about to start freaking out again. Her face had gone all pale and she was sweating like a maniac_ again_.

"Seeee, it was an _accident_." I raved at Claire.

Claire didn't seem satisfied in the least.

"Are you forcing Miss Rizzolli to perform sexual acts on you in exchange for your taking care of her?" Claire asked Maura bluntly.

Maura looked like she was going to pass out for real. She was looking between me and Claire like a deer caught in headlights. I wished to _God _she didn't look so guilty in the face.

"_Jesus Christ_," I said moving to stand by Maura.

I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her body into mine.

"I _told_ you already it's not _like _that," I almost yelled at Claire.

"Miss Rizzolli, I'm going to have to ask you to return to the living room while I speak with Dr. Isles." Claire said calmly.

Steam was coming out of my ears. I was also terrified to leave Maura alone with this woman. I knew if I did something awful would happen. Plus Maura looked like guilt on a silver platter and I was starting to panic all over again.

"Oh NO...I'm not leaving you alone to insult and torment Maura for nothing! I've told you nothing weird is going on between us. We're just_ friends_," I raved.

"I know what you told me. But I've seen Dr. Isles' temper for myself. I believe she may have forced or threatened you to say those things to protect her and this arrangement you two have. Forced prostitution and sex slavery is very serious Miss Rizzolli."

I spat a million curses. I started to protest again but Maura cut me off.

"JANE is not a WHORE, I've never brought a whore to my house and I never will. Jane assumed she was about to sell her body for money when I first met her...but I've never treated her like anything less than the wonderful woman she..."

I wrapped my hand around Maura's mouth and laughed nervously. Maura had been raging at Claire...raging like she did that time in the hospital. I don't even think Maura realized what she was saying was tearing apart every bit of our well thought our story. Not that Maura was very good at following the story in the first place but still, this was a nightmare! I knew she was just trying to stand up for me...everytime I called myself a whore or a prostitute Maura freaked out on me too! But this was neither the time nor the place for Maura to lose her damn mind. I was sweating and stammering in my own panic now. What Maura said couldn't be taken back. Claire was looking between the two of us wide-eyed and gape jawed. My mind raced furiously, my eye throbbed like crazy, my stomach felt like there was a pound of ice in it...and I really really had to poop, mostly from bad nerves and stress.

"_Holy fuck_!" I thought.

I had to think fast.

"OH dear...Maura you've spilled something on your shirt," I said reaching for a coffee cup on the table and splashing it all over Maura's fresh new shirt.

Maura looked up at me in fury and frustration. I still hadn't taken my hand from over her face. I couldn't chance Maura running off at the mouth again like a freaking train wreck of unnecessary information in front of the damn social worker. I put the now empty coffee cup back on the counter and shuffled Maura from the kitchen never taking my hand from her mouth.

"Let's just get you cleaned up," I said nervously, "We'll be right back," I said to Claire before grabbing Maura's hand and sprinting from the room dragging Maura behind me.

"WHAT in the FUCK was THAT!" I hissed as soon as we were safely in the guest room and I closed the door behind us.

"I'm sorry Jane. I don't know what happened! She was accusing you of being a prostitute and I just...I couldn't let that happen!" Maura wailed falling into an arm-chair and shaking her head like she was in a world of misery.

"Oh God! What are we going to do _now?"_ I wailed laying out on the floor on my back again.

I was so exhausted and furious and panicked I didn't even want to get up from the floor again. I just wanted to sleep and dream and pray that when I woke this will all have just been a bad dream.

"What has happened?" Consuela said from the bed.

"Maura is ruining my LIFE!" I cried closing my eyes. What Maura revealed to the social worker was devastating to both of us.

"Jane I'm so sorry," Maura wailed from her chair.

Maura was crying again. I could hear her sobs from my place on the floor.

"What has happened on your clothes. Evil Diablo dog attack you?" Consuela raved.

"No...Jane threw coffee on me because she _hates_ me," Maura cried.

I rolled my eyes.

"WHY you throw coffee on doctor...you _evil_ like _dog!"_ Consuela hissed at me.

"I didn't throw coffee on her to hurt her Consuela...I did it so we had an excuse to get the hell away from that freaking social worker." I wailed banging the back of my head against the floor.

"Why you not say s'cuse me and leave? Why you need make mess?" Consuela asked.

"I _panicked_. Shit got crazy..._I_ got crazy...Maura got_ really_ crazy." I wailed

"Maura what the_ hell_ are we going to do?" I cried.

"I don't know..._I don't know_," Maura sobbed.

I wanted to melt into the floor but I heard the elevator ding at that very moment.

"James!" I said shooting to my feet and running out the door and down the hallway to meet James stepping off the elevator.

"Wow this place is NICE!" he said looking around.

James was wearing a sharp suit as always and he was immaculate. I thanked every God in heaven that at least one person was in one piece and not covered in some kind of food or beverage substance.

"James...OH my GOD James everything is going to hell. You have to _help_ me!" I said grabbing James' hand and hustling him down the hallway toward the guest bedroom.

"What's going on Jane...you look hysterical?" James hissed at me.

"I _am_ fucking hysterical," I hissed back.

"What in the hell is going on? Where is the social worker?" James asked.

His eyes were wild and unbelieving. What the hell must he have been thinking?

"James...she's in the kitchen or somewhere. Everything has just gone to hell. Maura let slip that I was a whore...Claire thinks I'm being held hostage as a sex slave or something, she doesn't believe our story...Maura broke out into fucking hives earlier and everything is a nightmare!" I wailed shaking my head furiously and gritting my teeth.

"How did all of this_ happen?_ Why didn't you guys stick to the_ story!"_ James raged in a hushed whisper.

"_I tried_...but Maura started freaking out and broke into hives in front of Claire cause she had to lie! Then Franklin Thomas tired to kill Consuela. Then Claire cornered me in the kitchen and asked me if Maura was beating me and shit! Then Maura went all crazy when Claire accused her of holding me as a sex slave! Maura even blurted out that she met me when I was a _whore_! What the hell are we going to do _now_ James?" I spat in frantic whispers pulling James into the bedroom and closing the door behind us.

Maura still hadn't stopped crying. Consuela was standing over her trying to get her to calm down. James looked like he didn't know what in the hell to make of all this or what the hell to say.

I just lay on the floor again. I didn't have the strength to stand. I just lay there and banged my head against the floor over and over as if to knock the horror of my situation from my mind.

"What has happened to make you two act so strange?" Consuela asked.

"Maura told the social worker I was a_ whore_." I repeated angrily.

Why hide it. The whole world was going to know by nightfall.

"You no _whore..._you big menace but you no whore." Consuela spat out.

"Yes Consuela...I know that. But Maura made a mistake and now the _sky_ is fucking falling. That social worker thinks Maura is holding me hostage here and making me sleep with her in exchange for a place to live and me keeping my daughter. They are gonna take my baby from me!" I said softly.

There were tears streaming down my face. What was going to happen now? What was Claire writing in that folder of hers? What did she think of me? What did she think of Maura? How could this all be going to badly? I thought everything would be ok! I thought I had it all, how could I have asked for more? I thought Maura was my knight in shining armor. I thought I'd never make it without her. Now I felt like I was drowning right along with her. I thought only of Angela. I thought only of her precious face and the way she giggled when she looked at me. I thought of the smell of her hair and the touch of her skin. I thought of all the love I had in my heart for only her. I thought about how much she looked like my mother. I thought of my mother. I missed her so much! I was failing her, I was failing my daughter, I was failing myself...I was a failure, always had been, always would be!

"That silly! I speak to silly lady myself," Consuela exclaimed leaving Maura's side and exploding out of the room before anyone could stop her.

"_OH shit_," I said scrambling to my feet.

"James...get Maura to calm down...I'm going after the damn maid!" I hissed running out the door after Consuela

"Who dis woman?" Consuela said to me when I came bounding around the corner to notice a very shocked looking Claire and a very furious looking Consuela standing in the middle of the living room.

"Consuela...this is Claire...the social worker, leave her alone! Lets go back to the bedroom and calm down." I hissed at Consuela.

I knew my eyes were burning with fury and my throat hurt from trying to contain the screaming I really wanted to be doing. The last thing I needed right now was Consuela adding a fan to the shit storm Maura already started.

"Let me tell you bout Miss Jane social worka woman. Miss Jane is have bad mouth and is have bad attitude, she messy and have evil puppy for dog friend. She no eat good food or speak nice to elders or hang up towel in bathroom. But she no _whore! _Miss Jane love daughter and she love doctor! She teach doctor to be normal, to ride bike, to eat cake, to laugh at joke, to listen to good music, to have fun, to be friendly. Doctor never be so happy before Miss Jane come here. Now doctor smile all da time and laugh when something funny, she even watch _cartoon! _Jane is lot of things...but she no whore! Jane and Doctor good friends...they be friends long time and no thanks to you and prying questions! Doctor even make silly gay man build nursery for Miss Jane's baby! When baby come home...she have beautiful house and beautiful room and beautiful toys to play with! Doctor never bringing guest here before...now house full of noise and laughter and baby stuff and evil Diablo dog. You bring only chaos into house with you. Everything fine before you come here miss social worka! Now everyone crying and much panic and many messes! You leave now and take silly file with you!" Consuela said with a huff and her hand on her hips.

Everyone in the room was silent. I was staring at Consuela with my mouth hanging open and so was Claire. Consuela had a satisfied look on her wrinkled frowning face and was tapping her foot impatiently. She looked insane in her coffee stained uniform and wild hair all over her head. It seemed everyone was losing their damn minds at the same time...and it could not have been a worse time! I would have said something to dissuade the tension but the sound of Franklin Thomas' growling stopped me short.

"FRANKLIN THOMAS!" I screeched.

My dog was on top of the coffee table tearing away at the files Claire left on the table. Bits of paper were flying everywhere and I was panicking all over again. James came running down the hallway. I leaped over the couch to grab my dog but FT darted out of my reach with the folder still in his mouth. I fell over the couch, legs over head, and landed on the floor with a thud. Claire was shrieking, James was running around the room trying to grab FT. Maura came running down the hallway in her stained ridiculous looking suit wide-eyed and flustered.

"What's going _on?" _she shrieked.

"El **DIABLO**!" Consuela screamed running around the room in the opposite direction as James trying to corral my puppy.

FT ran between Consuela's legs and James and Consuela crashed into each other knocking heads hard and falling backward on the floor holding their heads and moaning in agony. I tried to get to my feet and lunge at Franklin Thomas again but I slipped on a piece of paper and went flying over the coffee table and landed in a heap all over again.

"Son of a BITCH!" I wailed holding my throbbing elbow and cursing violently.

Maura was frozen on the spot sobbing and crying. Consuela was rolling around on the floor wailing about her back and her head, Claire had retreated to a corner standing there in shock with her hands over her mouth and her eyes wide with the chaos unfolding before her. Franklin Thomas was still prancing around with the file in his mouth! James was the first to recover. He ran all around the room finally cornering FT.

"I got you now you little _shit!" _James said triumphantly.

FT crouched down and dropped the file growling at James dangerously.

"Give me that!" James hissed reaching for the file.

But Franklin Thomas was ahead of him. FT got a running leap and latched on the James' testicles with his little puppy teeth.

"AAAAHHHHHH!" James screamed punching at FT with his fist.

Franklin Thomas was swinging from James' privates like Tarzan in a fucking tree. I picked up a remote and threw it at FT nailing him in the back of the head. Franklin Thomas yelped and let go of James and ran out of the room.

"AHHH my nuts...my nuts and my dick..._my nuts and my dick!" _James wailed collapsing to the floor on his knees and crying like a little girl.

His face had turned red and his eyes were bulging out of his head as he clutched his private area.

"James are you ok?" Maura cried out rushing to his side.

James fell over on his side and whimpered and sobbed squirming and writhing in pain. Consuela was crawling around on the floor trying to gather up the torn files and cursing under her breath. I was trying to get back to my feet but my head was all swimmy and my eye hurt like a bitch. I started laughing at some point. I just couldn't help it. What else was I going to do? This whole thing had been a disaster and was growing worse by the second. I finally stood on my feet and turned to Claire's shocked face trembling in the corner.

"Perhaps...perhaps we should do this another time," I said my shoulders sagging in defeat.

Claire didn't speak for a while. Her eyes were darting everywhere around the room taking in all the chaos and horror.

"NO...no I think I have everything I need." She said in a high squeaky voice.

"We can do this again...I feel like everything got a little bit out of hand," I protested looking around the room myself.

I started chuckling again. James was still crying and wailing and holding his testicles, Maura was crying with him trying to rub his back and comfort him. Consuela had stuffed as much of the paperwork back in the file as she could, but there were still shredded bits of paper all over the living room. My eye hurt like crazy, my stomach burned from alcohol and my elbow throbbed from my fall.

"NO NO!" Claire said grabbing the file from Consuela and moving to gather up her briefcase.

"I'm just going to leave now. I'll...I'll file my report with the department tomorrow. You have a nice day." Claire said rushing down the hall toward the elevator.

I ran after her.

"Claire...don't judge me based on everything that just happened...this...this isn't normal," I insisted desperately.

"Oh...no I'm sure it's not," Claire laughed nervously. "I'll send James my report tomorrow," and with that Claire got on the elevator and was gone.

I sighed staring at the closed door of the elevator.

_"Fuck!" _I cursed loudly.

I stalked back down the hallway into the chaos of the living room. Consuela was laid out on a couch moaning about her back again, James was still on the floor whimpering and Maura was rocking back and forth on her rear shaking her head and sobbing softly to herself. I walked to the kitchen opened the refrigerator grabbed two beers and walked back to the living room. I flopped down on the couch and kicked my feet up on the coffee table.

"That did not go well!" I said popping the top on the first beer and draining it in three gulps.

**A/N: Don't worry...all my stories have happy endings! **


	11. Aftershock!

**A/N: Quick notes cause this chapter and the next, which I have already written and sent to my new beta, are super crazy long. This chapter is mostly a set up for the next several chapters. Don't worry the chapter after next is the sex chapter so...look forward to that! I was thinking I'd write that one chapter under an M rating but not post it as part of this actual story so I don't have to change the rating of the entire story. I'd still make this flow, just absent all the really dirty stuff! Let me know what you think...I don't know what to do about it! Anyway...I got nominated for two rizzles for this piece...smiles...vote for me at ,rizzle awards at word press dot net, if you like the story. Sorry about how long this chapter is...the next one is way longer! Enjoy and review please! Luv you guys! And with all that being said...here we go!**

**Jane**

"In the future...we should probably take Franklin Thomas to doggy day care before our home inspections," Maura said next to me in the hospital emergency waiting room while she held an ice pack over my eye.

Maura, James, Consuela and I were all sitting in the waiting room holding ice to various injured parts of our bodies. James hadn't said much since the disaster happened, he was sitting with an angry pout on his face and an ice pack down his pants. Both he and Consuela had knots on their heads from colliding into each other earlier. Consuela was flip-flopping between moaning in agony about her back and cursing Claire whom she now considered to be a worse devil than Franklin Thomas. Maura at least seemed to have regained her senses...thank goodness for that. I wish she'd had her senses about her an hour ago and maybe we all wouldn't be stuffed into the crowded emergency room moaning randomly in pain and shaking our heads with the horrible memories of the day.

"I _hate _that fucking dog!" James hissed from his seat on the other side of Maura.

Both of James' hands were down his trousers holding the ice pack against his privates. When the four of us first hobbled into the emergency room everyone in the waiting area went quiet and just stared at us. James had to hobble awkwardly with his legs spread wide and both his hands down his pants holding the icepack in place and he hissed and wailed with every step he took. Consuela walked in beside him bent over and shuffling her feet across the floor oddly never actually taking real steps. Maura walked in with me holding the icepack over my eye and trying to dissuade my lingering fury and debilitating hopelessness. My elbow was wrapped in ice and hung limply in a sling Maura made for me. Even the nurses at the triage station looked at us wide-eyed and wondering. All of our clothes were stained and twisted and our faces were tight with pain and frustration. Now we all sat in a corner looking weary with physical and mental exhaustion.

"He's just a puppy James...but I _am _sorry" I sighed heavily.

"Evil Diablo dog try and eat James man parts! _And _he try and kill me! Why he not try and eat silly social worka woman, that at least be fair." Consuela moaned.

"My nuts feel like they're going to pop! I probably have rabies of the dick or something!" James cried.

"James, Franklin Thomas has been vaccinated, he's just...he's just bad!" I shook my head remembering all the havoc he caused!

"El DIABLO!" Consuela hissed all hunched in her chair.

"Can we lay off FT for a little while? We've all got a lot more to worry about than a puppy." I said sadly.

"That's easy for you to say. It wasn't _your_ dick being chewed on like a doggy bone! Thomas the tank will never be the same!" James hissed at me fixing me with his most loathsome glare.

"Who the fuck is Thomas the tank?" I asked incredulously.

James' face turned the brightest of red.

"It's my...it's what my wife calls my penis!" James mumbled.

I burst out laughing.

"You call your dick Thomas the TANK!" I cracked

James glared at me hard.

"I have three kids and I've only been married five years. My wife calls my penis the little engine that could." James said, his face turning almost purple.

"Well you and Franklin Thomas have something in common. You share a name...maybe he was just trying to get friendly with his namesake!" I burst out laughing again.

James looked like he would have kicked me if he wasn't in so much pain. He looked pathetic sitting there holding his man parts and whimpering randomly. I felt awful for him, but I felt awful for all of us. Something would have to be done about FT. It was unseemly for him to go around chewing on men's testicles.

"James, I'll take care of your medical bills and compensate you for your pain and suffering, but what are we going to do now? The inspection was a disaster!" Maura wailed.

James rolled his eyes and adjusted the icepack down his pants.

"What exactly did you _tell_ that woman Maura?" James grumbled.

Maura's face went all guilty again and she looked like she wanted to cry. I hoped she wouldn't start that again. Two beers wasn't enough to refuel my reserves of patience I'd spent trying to get Maura to act normal in front of the social worker. I wanted to take a large sleeping pill and forget this whole thing ever happened. I'd never escape this reality though; very likely my reality was about to turn into something even more horrible and hellish than it was currently. What Maura said to the social worker about me was awful. But Maura was always awkward, hot-tempered, and often said things that were inappropriate at the worst of times. I knew deep down she'd only been trying to stand up for me. I did wish Maura could figure out how to stand up for me without plunging us into a world of chaos.

"I told her..."

"What on _Earth _has _happened_ to all of you?" Addison Montgomery asked suddenly appearing in front of us with wild eyes and a curious expression.

I can only imagine what she thought of the four of us sitting in that waiting room; all of us with some sort of stain on our clothing and random injuries all over our bodies.

"It's...it's a long story!" I mumbled.

Addison just stared at us a few moments longer.

"All of you come back with me now; you look like the four freaking stooges!" Addison hissed.

It was with much moaning and groaning and curses under our breath that we finally made it to our feet and started our parade of damaged bodies behind Addison.

"So...let me get this straight," Addison said leaning heavily on the counter in the private hospital room Maura and I were hustled into earlier.

I just got back from radiology. Consuela and James were in separate rooms somewhere having their wounds attended too. Maura told Addison the entire story of how we actually met and what happened with the social worker earlier in the morning. Addison listened to the story with her jaw hanging open most of the time and her green eyes bright with disbelief.

"You two met through an _escort _agency?" Addison squeaked in a high-pitched frantic voice.

I sighed heavily about to respond but Maura cut me off.

" It was Jane's first time and anyway we haven't had sex Addison. Jane and I are just dating!" Maura said angrily.

Why was the woman so testy about the subject of my past profession? My being a whore seemed to inflame Maura beyond reason. Besides it was she that told Addison the whole story...not me! What did Maura expect? That people would roll out the red carpet and bust out the welcome wagon for a whore?

Addison seemed taken aback by the viciousness of Maura's tone. She just stared between us with blinking eyes for a few moments before she spoke again.

"So...does the social worker know that?" Addison asked incredulously.

"No...maybe...I dunno! We didn't really get a chance to explain." I sighed.

"So the social worker is writing up a report about the whole thing...and all that crazy stuff happened right in _front _of her?" Addison said frowning and shaking her head.

"Yup," I said lying back on the examination table.

"That guy James' testicles are a mess. They look like purple peaches!" Addison exclaimed "And your maid is a mess too...she's going to need rest for weeks. Your elbow is going to be OK, your eye too but it still looks awful. You need to alternate heat and ice all day long. As far as this situation with the social worker; I'm going to write DCS myself. I've seen you with Angela, I know how much she means to you, Jane. I've seen you with her too, Maura. However crazy and ridiculous I think this is, Angela is very lucky to have two people like you guys to care for her and I'll say that in my letter. You two need to get yourselves and your people home and take it easy for the rest of the day.." Addison sighed heavily.

"Would you really do that for us Addison? Would you really write a letter on our behalf to DCS?" Maura's eyes were wide with excitement and gratefulness.

Addison's expression softened into a sympathetic smile. She was very pretty with her red hair and green eyes and white coat over her stylish clothes. She reminded me of Maura only taller and less socially awkward.

"Of course I will, Maura. And I'm doing it as much for Jane as for you! No parents are perfect, but I've seen far worse than the two of you; despite the circumstances under which you met. That's what friends are for Maura, to have each other's back when the proverbial shit hits the fan." Addison smiled.

I was floored. This could be just what Maura and I needed to help us through this nightmare. Addison, being Angela's doctor and a well-respected medical professional and Maura's long time friend could sway DCS to not take further action against us for the time being at least. I felt a wave of gratitude wash over me. I wanted to run into Addison's arms, sweep her into a hug and plant kisses all over her cheeks but Maura beat me to it. Maura flew into Addison's arms almost knocking over the red-head. I was taken aback by Maura's display of affection. Maura didn't display that much affection toward me most of the time. I mean she kissed me, mostly in private, and cuddled me, also mostly in private, but never anything like this. Maura was practically drenching Addison's clean white coat in tears and was trembling with her sobs. Addison's eyes went wide for a few moments then she smiled and wrapped her long arms around Maura in return smiling as she did so.

"Thank you so much Addison! This means the world to me. I-I-I'm so sorry I never gave you a chance all those years ago. I was cold and distant and you were so wonderful and full of light. I didn't think I deserved someone like you in my life, even now; you're such a special person. I hope you find someone to make you as happy as you deserve to be!" Maura whispered in Addison's ear.

I don't know why, I don't know how or where it came from, but I suddenly felt a storm of jealousy rip through me. I was grateful to Addison, don't get me wrong, but what the hell was Maura talking about as far as her not giving Addison a chance all those years ago? What did that mean? Did Addison secretly have a thing for Maura? Could they once have been lovers? What did Maura mean she didn't think she deserved Addison? Addison was for all intents and purposes perfect for Maura. She was well-educated, had a bright shining career, she was beautiful and fit perfectly in Maura's world. I stick out like a sore thumb in Maura's elite company. Why didn't Maura think she deserved all that Addison had to offer? What was so special about me? Or was Maura only settling for a whore because she thought she didn't deserve better even though Addison was what she really wanted? Watching the two women embrace right in front of me made me feel empty inside. I felt my stomach drop. I felt my chest burn with sadness and self loathing. I felt my eyes stinging with tears. Maura was saying something else to Addison; she was speaking softly into the woman's ear. I felt the urge to run, I had to get the hell out of there. I scooted off the exam table and dressed quickly slipping out of the room before either of the woman noticed. Not that they seemed at all concerned for me in that moment. They were so busy in their embrace they didn't have time left to concern themselves with me.

I walked mindlessly down the hallway and caught the elevators up to the infant ward. I found Angela's room and sat down in a chair next to her bed and pulled her into my arms. Angela was still mildly sedated, she still had the feeding tube, but her esophagus was healing nicely now. Addison said they'd take the feeding tube out Thursday and monitor her overnight, if everything went well Angela could come home Friday. I'd been so elated when I heard that I started crying uncontrollably. Maura had to pull Addison from the room to get the rest of the information because I hadn't been able to calm down enough to hear anything else that was said to me. I'd just been so happy. I wanted to take Angela home more than anything. I wanted to bathe her, feed her, read to her, play with her, cuddle her; I wanted to do everything outside of this damn hospital. I'd promised Angela a better life and I wanted her to have it sooner rather than later, and the first step was taking her home.

But now as I sat with my daughter in my arms I just felt so lonely for some reason. Actually, I knew the reason. She was about 5' 10" with gorgeous green eyes, long red hair, a million degrees, and all the class and sophistication in the world. I couldn't be angry with Addison, not outright. She was the only reason Angela was still alive, well she and Maura together. They did make quite a team. Together I don't think there is anything they couldn't accomplish. But seeing Maura in Addison's arms _hurt_ me. How long before Maura realized that she _could_ have Addison if she wanted? How long before Addison remembered why she wanted Maura so long ago? I couldn't blame Addison, Maura was beautiful, sweet, and funny even though she didn't realize she was being funny most of the time. But at this point, losing Maura would kill me. I _wanted _her, I wanted to be hers and her to be mine. I wanted Maura with all her imperfections and silly quirks! I wanted her despite the fact that she drove me crazy half the time, coddled me like a child far to often, and pampered me like a princess despite my most desperate protestations.I wanted her hugs and even her tears to be only for me. I wanted to be the only woman in her bed ever again and all I had to offer, I wanted to offer only to her.

But what _did _I have to offer Maura? What did _I _have to give her she couldn't get from someone else...someone better...someone more her class and her style? How long before Maura became weary of the drama I brought into her life and tired of me? How long before I lost my luster? Or did I ever have any luster at all? Did Maura just feel sorry for me and feel obligated to see me through my darkest night? Does she really care for me or am I...am I just all she feels like she deserves for some strange reason? Those thoughts ran through my head over and over on a loop as I sat for many long minutes with my daughter in my arms. Every now and then a tear would fall down my cheek and land silently on Angela's little body. I didn't _want_ to cry, I wanted to be strong, I wanted to pretend like I wasn't hurting so badly inside. I just couldn't escape the pain, I couldn't get the image of Maura in Addison's arms from my head no matter how hard I tried. Even Angela wasn't enough to keep the waves of self loathing from washing over me and settling deep in my heart. I didn't notice that I wasn't alone in the room anymore. I didn't feel Maura approach me from behind. I didn't see her curious almost hurt expression. I didn't notice how frantic her eyes looked. I didn't see a lot of things. I was too wrapped up in myself to look beyond my pain.

"Jane, I've been looking for you _everywhere_." Maura exclaimed right behind me.

I jumped. I was so startled. I hurriedly wiped my eyes and looked over my shoulder to see Maura there. Her eyes were wide and she looked a bit panicked. I don't know why but I felt myself growing angry.

"Why were you looking for me _everywhere_? Didn't you _know_ I'd be with my daughter?" I spat turning back around and looking down at Angela's sleeping form in my arms.

Maura was silent for a few moments. Then I felt her fingers run through my hair softly several times and a sigh escape her mouth.

"Everything is going to be OK Jane. You're going to take Angela home Friday and this DCS nightmare is going to be settled. Addison has been a friend for a long time, she's well respected and her letter will go a long way with DCS. I thought you'd be _happy._" Maura said softly still running her fingers through my hair.

Normally the gesture would have comforted me, normally I would fall into Maura's touch and feel safe and desired by it. This time though it made me feel pathetic and sad like Maura was coddling me again. Maura didn't touch _Addison_ like that, Maura fell into Addison like I always fell into Maura and it made me feel furious and worthless.

"That's, that's nice." was all I said.

I heard Maura sigh again.

"Jane I'm so sorry about the home inspection. I was just so nervous and everything got so out of hand. I couldn't figure out what to say without James there to filter for me. I lost myself in my emotions. But know that it was fear more than anything that made me react so badly. I was afraid of saying something to hurt you or Angela. I tried Jane, but the stress and the pressure of lying made me fall apart. I've never held a living persons future in my hands in such a way; especially not someone I care for so deeply! I _promise_ next time I'll be stronger for you. I know you needed me to be better than I was and I failed you. I'm so sorry Jane," Maura pleaded with me desperately.

"Sure Maura," I sighed offhandedly.

I shook my head slightly pulling away from Maura's fingers running through my hair. I didn't bother to look back and notice how hurt Maura was by my actions. When had I become so needy and possessive? I'd never been like this in my entire life. Maura scooted another chair next to me and sat down. She was silent for a while as I held Angela in my arms.

"Consuela is going to stay with us in the guest room while she re-cooperates. I just spoke to her and apparently she's pulled several muscles in her back badly and damaged her sciatic nerve. It will be weeks of physical therapy before she's better. James is...well he showed me his injuries," Maura hung her head in shame.

"He will heal but he's going to be very uncomfortable for a while. I will send a dog trainer to work with you while I'm away. We must do all we can to see that Franklin Thomas doesn't repeat this behavior again! We have a baby coming home soon, things must be in order!" Maura sighed.

I perked up and looked over at Maura.

"Where are you going?" I asked curiously.

Maura gave me a heavy forced smile.

"Boston,"

"Aren't you on leave? Why do you have to go back?" I said sadly.

I was angry about Maura's embrace with Addison, but I didn't want her to leave again. I was _lonely _without her; even though we talked all the time when she was away. I felt my heart break all over again and my face fall in defeat. I wanted to cry. I wanted to rage at Maura over Addison and ask a million questions about their past, but the idea of being alone again without Maura was consuming my thoughts and my emotions. I wiped more tears from my eyes.

"There is an important case that requires my attention. I won't be gone long, I'll come back as soon as I can," Maura said leaning over and placing her hand on my arm to reassure me.

"But...but when are you leaving?"

"Thursday, I need to see to this as soon as possible so I can get back here with you and little Angela." Maura squeezed my arm lightly.

"THURSDAY!" I spat at her. "You're going to miss Angela coming _home _Friday!"

A sad pained look crossed Maura face. She looked weary for a few moments.

"I...I know I'm really sorry about that..." Maura started but I cut her off immediately.

"...Can't it _wait? _Don't you have a staff to take care of things while you're gone? Isn't that what you told me? You said you were free for six weeks! What's so important that they can't handle it without you?" I hissed angrily.

I would have raged at Maura but I couldn't with Angela in my arms. Maura looked extremely sad and uncomfortable under my furious gaze.

"Jane, it's a special case. My staff can't figure out how to properly process evidence I submitted for a cold case before I left and I need to fly back and do it myself." Maura pleaded.

"A COLD case, you're flying back and leaving me alone with Angela _and_ Consuela to work a COLD case?" I asked incredulously.

"Jane please I need you to understand..."

"...Do you just not _want _to be here? Are you having second thoughts? If you don't want to do all of this, if I'm crowding your space and you just want to get away then say so...I-I'll leave you the hell alone. I don't need you, I'll figure it out myself like I always do." I spat viciously at Maura pulling my arm from under her hand roughly.

I don't know what came over me but I was so angry, and hurt, and now Maura was leaving me again. I didn't want to think about how selfish and unfair I was being. I was hurting like crazy inside at the thought of being without Maura; especially when Angela was coming home. I wouldn't cry though, not this time. I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of my tears. My face burned with the effort of holding my tears within me. I bit my tongue to stop myself from continuing my rant. If I did continue talking I knew I'd end up screaming and Maura didn't deserve that. I couldn't scream with my baby in my arms anyway. I steeled my nerves, gritted my teeth, and sucked up my sadness and despair. If Maura wanted me gone then I'd be gone faster than she could say the word. I still had my apartment, I could leave her and never look back. I didn't bother to look over and see just how much my words hurt Maura. I didn't see the stunned horrified look on her face that was quickly replaced with pain and tears. I didn't see the way her hands trembled and her lips quivered. I didn't pay attention to the way her breath quickened and her face had fallen into an expression of the deepest hurt. I didn't see the way she tried to swallow the huge lump in her throat or the way she clutched at her heart as if I'd stuck a stake through it.

"Jane...how could you even _think _that? How could you say that to me after...after everything we've been through together? If I didn't care for you deeply, you and Angela _both_ I wouldn't have bothered to go through so much on your behalf. I have never, _ever_ cared so much for other people in my life. I've never wanted a woman as much as I want you. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me! I'll never leave you, why do you want to leave me?" Maura sobbed quietly next to me.

I looked at her for a few moments. Both of her hands were over her face but I could still see the tears streaming down her cheeks. Her face was red and her voice was shrill and agonizing to hear. Her breath came in choking rapid waves and her entire body trembled with the ferocity of her suffering. The center of my chest exploded with guilt and grief. I was overcome with wave after wave of sympathy for Maura and fury with myself. Lashing out had been for so long my only way of protecting myself from emotional pain. But Maura was the sweetest most sincere person I'd ever met, even if she was weird beyond reason sometimes and I just didn't understand her half the time. But I understood this, I understood the pain in her face, and her voice, and her tears. I understood that I'd hurt Maura far more than she deserved and I was more the fool for my insolence.

"Maura, please don't cry I didn't mean to hurt you...I just don't understand why you have to leave to work a cold case! I wanted you to be here so we could bring Angela home _together_. I thought that's what you wanted also! I just...I'm sorry," I sighed laying Angela back in her tiny bed.

Maura was on her feet in an instant and slid her arms under Angela pulling my baby into her body. Maura was still crying softly but she cradled Angela gently in her strong arms. Maura smiled through her tears looking down at my daughter. She rocked Angela gently and brushed her cheek with her thumb. My heart melted. I couldn't stop it. I felt my selfish anger and my hurt fade away. The tears I'd tried so hard to choke back swelled in my eyes and ran down my cheeks. I felt my heart open and so much love pour out of me. How could I ever think Maura didn't care for me? The way she looked at Angela was the way my mother used to look at me so many years ago. There was nothing but love and the sweetest tenderness behind Maura's eyes as she cradled my child. I thought of how much my mother would have loved Maura. I thought of Maura at my family dinner table and how much light she would have added to every meal. I thought of the new life Angela now had with Maura as her...well as her daddy. What greater privilege did Angela have with the greatest person I'd ever known backing her up? How fortunate was she _and_ I to be cared for so deeply by one so stong and so capable as Dr. Maura Isles?

I reached up and cradled Maura's face in my trembling hand. She looked up at me with eyes full of tears of her own. We stared at each other for a long moment nonverbally exchanging so many thoughts and unspoken feelings. Of all the hell we both experienced so far today, there wasn't a single person in the world I'd want by my side than the woman standing in front of me with my baby in her arms. I'd take _all_ of Maura, even the hives and hysteria any day of the week. Even when Maura was falling apart she was still my constant. If it weren't for me trying to keep Maura together during the inspection I would have fallen apart myself. If it weren't for Maura, I wouldn't have to worry about home inspections at all because Angela would most likely be dead. If it wasn't for Maura I would still be caged with fear and regret and self loathing rather than being free to explore myself, the world, and Maura for all the wonderful that she was. I sighed and choked on my tears as I brushed a few loose strands of golden hair from Maura's beautiful face and looked right into her soft hazel orbs. She was so beautiful in that moment. Even though her clothes were rumpled and stained. Even though she looked exhausted and like she'd run through a fire, I loved Maura so much in that moment.

I didn't stop to think about it, I had nothing left to think about. I cradled Maura's face in both my hands leaned in and kissed her. I kissed her deeply, passionately. I kissed her like I had loved her forever. I closed my eyes and sighed softly against her lips. I felt Maura's mouth open willingly for me, I felt her fall into me, I heard her moan softly against my trembling lips. I felt her hand cradle my face and pull me deeper into the kiss. I felt my entire body shiver in excitement and hunger. My tongue savored the sweet taste of Maura's mouth, my lips took in her essence, loving her softness and strength. I wrapped my hands in her hair and pulled her head back slightly so I could kiss her harder. I loved being taller than her, I loved the way Maura had to look up at me when she kissed me, I loved the way the smaller woman's body quivered against my own. I loved the sound of the soft moans escaping her mouth. I loved the fire coursing through me, I loved the burning between my legs, I loved the juices that flowed out of me. I loved the way my heart felt light as a feather, I loved the way my spirit felt free and unburdened as it hadn't felt in so many long years. I _loved _kissing Maura...I _loved _her!

"Ahem," A throat cleared behind us.

I didn't break the kiss for a few moments. I was enjoying myself far too much and Maura didn't seem to be in any rush to part from my lips. I don't know if she heard the voice behind us at all. When I finally pulled away from her Maura's eyes remained closed and her breath remained unsteady for several seconds. It wasn't until I brushed her cheek with my thumb and whispered her name that she finally opened her sparking eyes and looked up at me with a blushing smile. I was lost in that smile; I couldn't turn my eyes away from her. She was just so beautiful to me all glowing and happy with my baby in her arms.

"Ahem," the throat cleared again.

We both jumped in shock when we saw Claire Haverty standing in the doorway of the hospital room staring wide-eyed at both of us.

"_Oh shit."_ I thought.

"Miss Haverty...how are you?" Maura asked in a dangerous threatening tone. Only Maura could make a simple greeting sound like a battle cry!

Maura seemed to have done away with the nervous babbling she was reduced to earlier in front of Claire. She was all poise and strength again. Maura seemed to be taking her promise to pull herself together to heart. I was floored by the change in her demeanor. Three hours ago Maura had been a _mess _in the presence of this woman, now she stood straight-backed and square-shouldered radiating confidence. Maura stepped in front of me protectively, shielding me from whatever Claire was about to say. I couldn't see Maura's eyes anymore, her back was to me. I would bet all my money that Maura's eyes were emanating that cold 'I dare you' look they got sometimes when she was angry. I didn't bother speaking. I just nodded my head toward Claire and quickly moved to pull Angela out of Maura's arms. If she was about to start storming around again I didn't want her holding Angela while she did. Daddy did have quite the temper when pushed! I cradled Angela against my body tightly, I was terrified of what was to come.

Claire looked between the two of us with an unreadable expression before her eyes softened and she actually smiled. It was the first time I'd ever seen the woman smile. I wished she would smile more often, she actually didn't look so weary with a smile on her face.

"I received a call from a Dr. Addison Montgomery and a very...a very strongly worded letter through fax about an hour ago. I was told I could find you two here, my office is only a few blocks away and I thought I could stop by on my way to lunch." Claire said still smiling.

"What do you want now?" Maura spat.

I wish Maura didn't look like a tiger ready to pounce on its prey. Her protective vibes were filling up the room and making me uncomfortable...and worried. I moved to dissuade some of the tension Maura was causing. Between Maura and Franklin Thomas I felt like it was possible everyone I'd laid eyes on today would end up in a hospital bed!

"It's good to see you again Claire," I said stepping in front of Maura now.

I felt like it was Claire that needed protecting from Maura as verses me that needed protecting from Claire.

"What can we do for you? I'm sorry about how our last meeting turned out. I hope you don't judge us to harshly for all that!" I said nervously.

Claire only rolled her eyes a little.

"If all my home visits were that entertaining my job would be a lot less stressful." her smile widened.

If I didn't know better I would think Claire was trying to hold back laughter.

"I just wanted to apologize for accusing you, Dr. Isles, of any type of abuse. I've been watching you two for a while outside the room." Claire looked a bit ashamed now. A red blush crept up her cheeks.

"I can see that you both care for Angela and love her very much. You've provided a beautiful home and life for Angela when she's released from the hospital. Besides, your friends and even you housekeeper seem compelled to defend you two to the bitter end. It will be my recommendation to the court that you be allowed to proceed as you are. You'll still have to have the monthly home inspections to make sure everything is going smoothly but rest assured, I'll not be pursuing a case against you. I'll tell James the same thing before I leave. I just wanted you to hear it first and from me."

My heart leaped, I smiled down at Angela.

"You hear that baby girl? Everything is going to be OK!" I exclaimed excitedly.

Maura moved from behind me. She seemed to have relaxed her aggressive stance.

"We both appreciate that," Maura said shaking Claire's hand and escorting her from the room.

I sat with Angela another thirty minutes before Maura returned all smiles and bouncing with excitement.

"Well that's all cleared up. Are you ready to go home? Albert is already waiting for us with the dresses and suits for you to try on for tomorrow night!" Maura asked excitedly.

"WHAT!" I exclaimed.

I'd forgotten all about agreeing to go to that damn fundraising thingy.

"Yes Jane, I know you don't feel like going out and shopping so...Albert brought the stores to us. It will be fun." Maura said leaning over and pecking my stunned lips.

'I can't go to that thing looking like this! The left side of my face looks like a purple pumpkin!" I wailed.

Maura just smiled at me.

"You will always be beautiful, although cosmetics will go a long way as far as the discoloration of your face!" Maura sighed eyeing me sympathetically.

"I don't even know _how_ to cover a bruise with makeup, I hardly ever wear it at all! I can't meet your mother looking like a drag queen or something," I protested.

I was starting to panic just thinking about tomorrow night. Maura just laughed.

"You could_ never_ look like a drag queen. Besides Albert will take care of your makeup and hair. You don't have to worry about all that! I can't wait to see what they brought for you to try on." Maura smiled, she was running her fingers through my hair again. I didn't bother pulling away this time. I liked the way it made me feel.

"Is...is Albert in the apartment alone right now with Franklin Thomas and a bunch of expensive clothing?" I said breathlessly.

I knew my eyes were wide with horror. Maura's eyes went wide too as she thought about what I said.

"We...we should probably leave now!"

**Maura**

"Why I need stay here with Diablo dog and you two love birds? You two always staring at the other with big puppy eyes and goofy grins. It make me sick! And evil Diablo be death of me!" Consuela wailed in her wheelchair in the elevator on the way back up to the apartment.

It had taken a great deal of persuading and patience, mostly on my part because Jane was a panicked mess about FT being alone with guest in the apartment, to get Consuela out of the hospital and back in the limo to bring her home. We'd dropped off James at his apartment building earlier. He hadn't done away with his angry pout the whole ride there but he seemed less furious by the time we hustled him back into his apartment and into the arms of his wife with furious apologies and sympathetic smiles. James at least had been given some nice pain killers and was swimmy eyed and light-headed by the time we got him home. I felt horrible about the nature of his injury, but the cream would help with the pain and the swelling and I'd write him a substantial check for his trouble.

"We are _not_ love sick puppies Consuela." Jane hissed at her in feigned anger. "I think you're just jealous. If you weren't so mean you'd have someone too!" Jane teased.

I wasn't fooled anymore by the banter between the two of them. I heard Consuela raging at Claire earlier in defense of Jane's character, and I knew she would sneak Jane treats when I wasn't around. I'd even overheard Jane telling Consuela about her family and her daughter...some of which she hadn't even told me. Jane and Consuela secretly liked each other; they just had an odd way of showing it.

Consuela fixed Jane with her most hateful expression, "You evil like dog! Dis why dog so badly behave...it because you terrible motha! I teach you thing or two about being motha!" Consuela said haughtily.

"Don't be silly Consuela...you feed on the young and helpless! But you're no match for me...I'm spry and float like a butterfly!" Jane cracked throwing a piece of balled up paper at Consuela and dodging around the elevator teasingly.

Consuela cursed and tried to swat at Jane but Jane stepped out of the way leaving Consuela moaning and cursing in pain.

"OHHHH! You be death of me too!" She wailed.

"Oh...you've already got one foot in the grave old woman, I'm just helping you along!" Jane said slyly on the other side of me. I knew she was using my body as a shield against any further blows from Consuela.

"Both of you stop it, Consuela you need to rest and relax and Jane stop antagonizing her!" I sighed nudging Jane in the ribs with my elbow.

Jane gave me a pout in return.

"Owww," She exclaimed.

I rolled my eyes. "Don't be silly, that didn't hurt. I'm more worried about Franklin Thomas hurting Albert than I am about you right now!" I sighed heavily thinking about the chaos we were very likely to be stepping into...again!

"Oh...yeah let's hope FT wore himself out this morning and has passed out far away from Albert and the department store I'm sure he brought with him." Jane said nervously.

I couldn't have agreed with her more but at that moment the elevator stopped and the doors opened. Two loud voices could be heard talking excitedly somewhere in the apartment. I took a deep breath and wheeled Consuela out of the elevator and down the hallway with Jane close on my heels.

"OH my GOOOODNESSSS!" Albert said appearing in the hallway ahead of us with Franklin Thomas tucked under one arm and a glass of champagne in his free hand.

Both Jane and I stopped short staring at FT and Albert in shock. Franklin Thomas was licking at Albert's face in between barking at us excitedly. FT didn't let anyone but Jane and I hold him let alone carry him around. What on earth was happening in my apartment? Albert looked as eccentric as ever in a bright pink pair of slacks with white shoes and a pink and white polka-dotted shirt! He was even wearing pink lipstick and black eye liner. I looked over at Jane, she was standing with her mouth hanging open and her eyes were bulging in her head. Consuela looked much the same in her wheelchair. I don't know if they were more taken back by Albert's bizarre appearance or the fact that FT seemed to have taken a shine to him. Either way I knew this was not the scene anyone was expecting to walk into.

"Girl-FRIENDS!" Albert gasped clutching at his chest and staring at Jane and I wide-eyed and curious, "What has happened to you guys _clothes?_ And Jane _baby_ your EYE? OH girl we are going to have to fix _that_ shit honey you _cannot _be walking around town looking like you got beat by a pimp! You three look like you've been to Iraq and back!" Albert said setting Franklin Thomas down and prancing up to Jane with fluttering dramatic hand gestures.

Franklin Thomas barked once and disappeared around the corner to find some mischief.

Jane seemed shocked into immobility.

"Oh...it's nothing it's just a little bump on the head," Jane said when Albert came up next to her staring right at the horrible bruise on her face with a disapproving frown.

"Oh _no_ girlfriend. That shit is _AW-ful!_ Dr. Isles you ain't been letting some fool beat on this beauty have you?" Albert exclaimed turning to me with pursed pink lips and wrapping his arm around Jane's waist.

Jane giggled before I could answer.

"Actually is was _Maura_ that beat me up. She tried to kill me on a bike in the park!" Jane laughed.

I rolled my eyes. I'd rather that little tid bit stayed between us; but at least she was laughing about it. Jane had sulked since it happened; much to my dismay. Even so it was unseemly to say that I had beaten her, I didn't do it on _purpose!_ I was just awfully clumsy at the best of times, even more so on a bike it seemed.

"Oh girl-FRIEND! Dr. Isles you ain't gotta beat her honey! Make _loooove_ ladies not war!" Albert said hustling Jane down the hallway with snapping fingers and the dramatic twisting of his hips.

I sighed again and wheeled Consuela to the guest bedroom.

"Silly gay man love Miss Jane!" Consuela said as I helped her onto the bed after we both changed into something less stained and more comfortable.

"Yes I see that,"

"I think he love her more than you! He always saying how pretty she is," Consuela moaned as she lay back on the bed.

"Jane_ is _very beautiful," I smiled at Consuela as I sat next to her on the bed.

Consuela smiled that hideous smile of hers and chuckled to herself.

"It good thing she pretty cause she have bad attitude,"

I grinned to myself.

"So do _you_ Consuela," I said honestly.

Consuela looked up at me and studied me for a while.

"I see you hugging red-headed doctor in hospital. You make Miss Jane very sad! Why you no tell Miss Jane for yourself that she beautiful?" Consuela asked frowning at me.

I was taken aback by the question.

"I did, I've told her! How did I make her sad?" I inquired curiously.

What _did_ I do to make Jane sad? I know she'd been awfully short with me in Angela's hospital room, even a little bit cruel, but I had no idea why. I thought it was because of how horribly I'd handled the home inspection. Jane had every right to be angry about that; but I wouldn't fail her in the same way again. I was ashamed actually of how badly that went. I couldn't have been any more hysterical and ridiculous all morning. Thank goodness for Addison and Consuela or the outcome might have been very different.

Consuela looked at me like I was a fly that needed swatting.

"You hugging pretty Doctor hurt Jane feelings. I see it for myself! Jane like to think she strong but inside she always hurting. You make Jane feel like she not good enough for you...even though dat silly! Jane best thing ever happened to you!" Consuela cackled.

I was stunned. That couldn't be true could it? Was Jane actually hurt about a simple hug between Addison and me? Could she actually feel threatened by Addison is some bizarre ridiculous way? Was that the reason she lashed out at me earlier?

"I never meant to hurt her Consuela. I didn't even _think_ about it." I protested.

"Dat problem, you have big brain and you knowing many things, but you no think about feelings of others enough. It never matter before but now Jane your responsibility! You must be considerate." Consuela smiled closing her eyes and relaxing against the pillows.

I thought about Consuela's words for a while. She was right and I knew it. I'd never been concerned with emotions, my own or anyone else's. I had a lot to learn about love it seemed. At least I had Consuela to help me. I looked down at the older wiser woman and smiled taking her hand in my own. Consuela had worked for my family since I was a child; she knew me better than anyone else in the world. I cared for her and valued her opinion above most others.

"I wanted to say thank you Consuela for standing up for Jane to Claire earlier. I wasn't doing anyone any good and if it weren't for you...well things would have been a lot worse I think. You're a good friend." I smiled sincerely.

I really did mean it. I didn't have many people to call friends. Actually all the people I was close to were employees of mine or colleagues. I'd never had anyone I could introduce as my friend and compliment with an amusing story of how me randomly met. I just didn't make friends that way. But of all the people in my life, Consuela was my oldest and longest friend and acquaintance; she was far more than just an employee. I cared for her and she cared for me. Had it not been for Consuela, I might have been swallowed alive by my loneliness and despair. I _owed_ her the respect of my attention and consideration of her opinion.

Consuela only chuckled and rolled her eyes.

"No need for thank you! I not let silly woman take Miss Jane's baby for silly reason. Besides, you would have told woman yourself what a fool she was...but you to busy crying and having much panic. You must be strong now! Jane have enough tears by herself, you crying only make things worse! I only do what is right but you be betta next time! Now go away, I tired and you having guest." Consuela shooed me from the guest room.

I closed the door softly and made my way down the hall to the noise of Albert and his assistant.

"YES! WORK that thang!" Albert said snapping his fingers and shaking his hips dramatically.

I turned the corner to see Jane parading up and down the living room in an all white three-piece pant suit with a pink shirt underneath. There was some kind of bouncy runway music playing through the theatre system and Jane and Albert and his assistant were having a little fashion show of their own. I stopped and smiled at Jane's goofy walk in that sexy suit as I leaned against the wall and enjoyed the display going on in front of me. Jane must have had a pleasant buzz going because that's the only way she'd agree to strut around the living room the way she was. Albert and his equally gay assistant were prancing around with their glasses of champagne and exclaiming loudly about Jane in the suit.

"Get it girl...walk _fierce_ woman _fierce_! Look at those long legs...strut girl _strut!_" Albert's assistant, I think his name was Caleb said.

Caleb looked like something coughed up from the seventies in his high platform paten leather shoes, bright green pants, and a green oddly patterned button down shirt. He wore is hair in a bleach blond mohawk and was wearing more makeup than Albert. Caleb was the most fabulously dressed black man I'd ever met and twice as animated as Albert. Jane started laughing at Caleb doubling over and grasping her knees to keep her balance. I giggled along with her.

"Uh-Uhhh girlfriend keep on being sexy! Show us girl...show us how you _work _them hips!"

Jane tried to imitate Caleb's dramatic hip movements, she looked ridiculous but strangely sexy at the same time. I found myself giggling quietly in the corner.

"That's_ right _girl twerk it..._twerk _it! Swirl them hips like you do when you're on top of the doctor late at night when she is making you scream like 'OHHH my GOD'!" Caleb said snapping his own fingers and rocking his hips obscenely making strange grunting noises as he did so.

Jane's face went the deepest of red. I think mine did too.

"Don't be _shy_ girl you are GOR-geous! I know what you two get up to between them sheets! I bet the doctor brings out all the _freaky_ in yo ass!" Albert said scooping FT in under his arm again and strutting around the room like it was he on a fashion runway.

"Albert stop _saying_ that! We aren't getting up to _anything _between the sheets," Jane exclaimed nervously.

She looked very hot and uncomfortable all of a sudden. None of them had yet noticed me standing in the far corner of the room, but I was enjoying their exchange. Especially how much it seemed to make Jane squirm and blush. I thought about what Consuela said to me earlier. Jane looked like a school girl with a crush that was being teased by her buddies about it. Perhaps Consuela was right, I would have to be more considerate of Jane's feelings.

"Girl _please_ don't try and tell me you ain't been up in that shit yet!" Caleb said fixing Jane with a pout of pursed painted lips with his hands on his hips.

Jane looked fit to be tied. Her jaw was opening and closing but no words were coming out.

"GIRL WHHHY!" Albert wailed circling Jane and looking her over.

"You got legs, hips, thighs...the cheeseburger _and _the fries, girl what is the _problem? _Why you ain't making the sexy with the doctor?" Albert exclaimed in a high-pitched voice.

Franklin Thomas barked as if to add his two cents.

I took two steps back so I wouldn't be seen. I felt odd about eavesdropping on the conversation but I was curious about the answer.

"I don't...I don't think Maura wants to...you know...make the _sexy_ with me!" Jane said bluntly.

I chorus of gay wails and exclamations filled the living room and echoed through the entire apartment.

"GIRRRL pa-LEASE! Dr. Isle's ain't got us over here dressing your ass up for nothing. She wants her baby to have something pretty to compliment all that _sexy_ you got going on. And _trust _and _believe_ she wants all that sexy to compliment her too girlfriend get the with PRO-gram!" Albert exclaimed circling Jane and sashaying his hips dramatically.

"Yes girl you is so gorgeous even _I _wanna fuck you honey!" Caleb said before he and Albert burst out into their over the top gay laughter.

I covered my mouth to keep my chuckles from being overheard. I wanted to hear Jane's response...I knew she must be blushing furiously but before I could hear Jane's answer Consuela's voice sounded behind me.

"What is happening with so much noise?" Consuela hissed hobbling down the hall awkwardly on a cane.

I turned and rolled my eyes.

"Good heavens Consuela you're supposed to be in bed _resting,_" I hissed.

"I no need so much rest. It boring all alone, I come to see silly gay man dress up Miss Jane." Consuela said slyly with an evil grin on her face.

I had a feeling she secretly wanted to hurl teasing insults at Jane while she played dress up with Albert and Caleb. Consuela seemed to be amused by the two men and even more amused with teasing Jane. This was going to be a special treat for her.

"Don't_ torture_ Jane," I scolded Consuela.

It was hard enough getting Jane to agree to go to the fundraiser with me, and even more trouble getting her to agree to let me buy her something nice to wear. I didn't need Consuela adding her nonsense to the mix and messing up all my hard work.

"I no need lecture from you," Consuela said swatting at me with her cane.

I had to flatten myself against the wall to let her pass. I sighed heavily when Consuela shuffled around the corner and started cackling at the display in the living room.

"Look at Miss Jane in white." Consuela exclaimed loudly. "Dat funny cause you no angel," Consuela teased.

I heard Jane curse and Albert and Caleb's loud exclamations reverberated off the walls again. I rolled my eyes and steeled my nerves rounding the corner behind Consuela.

"Uhh Ohhh Miss Connie look at _you _girl. Come on in here and let me see that pretty face," Albert teased prancing over to Consuela.

Caleb followed fluttering around like a fairy.

"What is dat noise? Sound like cats screeching!" Consuela scoffed.

"That's _music _girlfriend," Albert said sipping from his champagne glass.

"Dat no music. It just noise!" Consuela countered grumpily.

"Come on Miss Connie you know you used to get down back in the day." Caleb said prancing around Consuela in a circle and gyrating his hips obscenely to the beat of the music.

"Yeah girl! Don't stop get it get it come on put Miss Connie in it!" Albert laughed as he waved his arms around wildly and danced to the music.

I couldn't stop myself from giggling. Consuela flushed furiously and swung at Caleb and Albert with her cane. Jane was laughing hysterically from her corner of the living room.

"Silly floating man making noise and bad music." Consuela hissed.

Both Albert and Caleb were dancing around Consuela's grumpy hunched body waving their arms and shaking their bottoms wildly as they dodged Consuela's random attempts to smack them with her cane. Franklin Thomas barked in Albert's arm and his tail wagged furiously in excitement.

"All right all right," I said finally. "Everyone leave Consuela alone. I want to see Jane try on all the clothes you two brought for her." I said guiding Consuela to the couch where we both sat.

Jane looked peevish and uncertain of herself.

"I dunno Maura...this is weird. I don't wanna put on a fashion show in your living room!" Jane blushed.

"GIRL pa-LEASE honey with that body you could put on a fashion show in _Paris _sweetheart!" Albert said hustling Jane to our bedroom to no doubt change her clothes.

Caleb disappeared into the kitchen and returned with two glasses of champagne handing one to myself and one to Consuela. Consuela drained half her glass in one great gulp. I looked over at her smiling.

"You shouldn't have alcohol with pain killers Consuela," I eyed my house maid curiously.

"Who you to tell me no after evil Diablo dog try and kill me many times!" Consuela raved pursing her lips.

"Consuela I'm a doctor," I insisted.

"You no _my _doctor. You doctor for da dead and I not be dead yet!"

"You might be soon if you keep mixing pills and alcohol!" I exclaimed.

"Oh you neva mind dat! I older than you I know what good for me! Besides, noisy music give me headache and so does Miss Jane and silly floating gay men!"

I rolled my eyes.

"Don't be offensive Consuela,"

"Who offended? I not offensive...not me...neva me I _neva!_" Consuela feigned innocence again.

I just rolled my eyes again. Jane and Albert returned. My jaw dropped and I almost lost a hold of my champagne glass. Jane was dressed in a long flowing deep purple gown with a slit all the way up the thigh to her hip that showed off her incredible long legs. The dress left her shoulders bare and hugged her slender form like a glove. Albert covered Jane's horrible bruise with makeup and her long dark curls fell over her olive toned shoulders. She was wearing tall black heels and walked with a grace I didn't even know she had. I was speechless, I was motionless, my mind flooded with thoughts about how much I wanted everyone to leave so I could see what was going on under that dress.

"_Oh my goodness,_" I thought to myself.

Even Consuela didn't seem to have anything negative to say about the dress. She was as speechless was I was in that moment.

"You...you look like _angel!_" Consuela exclaimed.

Jane blushed from head to toe.

"Yes girl you are just gorgeous just _gorgeous_ girl! Go on girl show the doctor what she's spending her hard-earned money on! _Work _that!" Caleb pranced around the couch exclaiming excitedly over Jane's beauty.

Albert was bustling about Jane fussing over the dress.

"This one is Vera Wang right off the runway in Milan. I had this mailed to me last week girl and it's the only one like it. Aint no body got _this_ shit honey this is an original sewed by Miss Vera herself." Albert exclaimed proudly.

"How much is it?" Jane asked frowning slightly.

I felt a fight coming on. Albert looked at Jane like she'd said a curse word. I tried not to giggle.

"We'll take it Albert." I said running my eyes over Jane's body again.

I was feeling things in that moment that I hoped no one else could pick up on. I crossed my legs to try and keep the heat from escaping between them and exploding all over the couch. Jane's face turned into a pout.

"Maura...no _way!_ I said you could buy me a dress but I didn't say you could spend a _fortune. _This is just..."

"...Jane it's yours! And it's beautiful just like you!" I smiled at her childish pouting face.

I couldn't explain what her little pout and that dress were doing to me. I felt some deep urge to drag her into the bedroom, slam her against the wall, hike that dress above her waist, and turn that little pout into screaming moans of ecstasy! But I was more or less frozen on the spot, and Jane was kind of prudish even though she'd never admit to it. I knew she'd never let me have her with a house full of people. Even still, I couldn't wait until everyone went home. There were so many things I wanted to do and say to Jane in private. And that dress was making me crazy!

"MAURA!" Jane protested.

"Uh Uh girl, don't even start pouting. You know you love being a princess. Come on let's try on the other stuff." Albert said scooting Jane back into the bedroom.

Caleb, Consuela, and I sat on the couch another hour and a half watching the fashion show unfold before us. I said little but my mind was in overdrive. I let Caleb, Albert and Consuela do the talking. I was busy imagining so many things in my mind's eye. Jane was gorgeous in everything; she was the epitome of beauty and sexiness. I laughed to myself when I thought of what Consuela said about Jane being jealous of Addison earlier. The very idea of it was just silly to me. Addison was very beautiful, but Jane had an inner beauty that drove me wild and an outer beauty that made my insides burn. I kept my legs crossed tightly, I could feel my underwear becoming more and more uncomfortably wet. I went through three glasses of champagne during the fashion show before Jane hopped up to me in her favorite worn out jeans and a white t shirt and snuggled next to me on the couch. I smiled at her through hazy heavy eyes laden with lust and hunger. I wondered if Jane could see how much I wanted her. Jane studied me for a moment and a sly little grin spread over her face. She leaned in and kissed me deeply. I kissed her hard, desperately, and hungrily. I wanted to rip off her clothes, get down on my knees, pull her long legs around either side of my face and...and soooo many other dirty things. But for the moment, I just enjoyed the heat of the kiss.

Albert and Caleb were exclaiming loudly and prancing around the living room as we kissed. I heard Consuela cursing and mumbling about 'love birds' and her sick stomach as she shuffled back down the hallway to the guest room. Jane finally broke from the kiss and grinned sheepishly biting her bottom lip and turning her head away from me.

"We'll take them all Albert. Send me a bill." I said never taking my eyes from Jane.

Jane's head shot around to look at me again incredulously.

"What Maura NO!" She protested.

I covered her lips with my finger.

"Stop, I don't want to hear it!" I said leaning in and kissing her again.

This time I wrapped my arms around her body and felt up everything I'd been imagining for over an hour. Jane didn't even try and stop me. She opened up to me completely and let my hands explore parts of her I'd never touched before. Jane's fingers wrapped in my hair and she moaned softly against my lips as her body squirmed under the assault of my probing hands. Franklin Thomas jumped on the back of the couch and started barking in my ear. I mindlessly pushed him away. Albert and Caleb left the apartment quickly with loud exclamations of encouragement.

"Yes ladies...get _at _it!" Albert said before the elevators closed and Jane and I were left alone...finally!


	12. Cinderella Part 1

**A/N: So I lied to you guys, the next chapter isn't the sex chapter anymore...actually this chapter I split into three parts and this is part one. Fair warning, I'm taking Constance Isles a bit far OOC but I've done that with Maura and Jane too so it works as far as what I'm trying to get across in these chapters. I'll bring it all full circle and Constance won't be so horrible by the end of the story so...don't get scared. These next three chapters are going to be hard to read at some points, especially next chapter so I'm warning you now. The rating will change after 'Cinderella Part 3'! Hint Hint! Expect me to post again tomorrow and then maybe Friday. I've already written the next two chapters but my beta is to busy to work them so if anyone wants to volunteer to be my new beta please PM me! I need help! And with all that being said...here we go!**

**Jane**

"Yes girlfriend you are gorgeous," Albert said looking at me in the mirror and smiling.

I smiled half halfheartedly sitting in the styling chair in the bathroom. I was far to nervous and anxious to be as excited as Albert was about me going to Maura's charity fundraising event. It was hard for me to even speak for fear that vomit might come out instead of actual words. I didn't have a lot of words to say anyway. There was plenty going on in my head but as far as verbalizing my thoughts, well I figured some things were better left unsaid. Besides I'd stated my case to Maura a million times already. She'd been patient and kind and tried everything she could to reassure me that I was beautiful, everything she ever wanted, and how proud she was that I was her date. But still my nerves were in hyper-drive and I couldn't seem to stop sweating. I stopped expressing my thoughts to Maura because the more I did the more hurt Maura's expression became. Far be it for me to hurt her, I adored Maura. I adored her so much I was terrified that I couldn't possibly live up to the image she had in her head of me. Maura seemed to be in some fairytale place in her mind where I was a princess and she was my proud prince. But in this moment I felt nothing like a princess. I felt like a squid about to jump into a shark tank where I would surely be devoured and spit out like the nothing I was. I wanted to be everything Maura thought me to be, but how could I? I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth, and I knew nothing about etiquette.

Maura tried to give me a lesson last night on proper dinner etiquette. It was exhausting and boring and made me wish for the days when a party meant pizza and beer and nobody cared one way or another which side of the plate you laid your damn fork. But there were so many rules to proper dining that I'd never even heard of; most of them were just silly.

_"Hold your fork this way,'_

_"Hold your spoon this way,"_

_"Eat your soup this way,_

_"Lay your knife across your plate this way,"_

_"Waiters serve from the left and take from the right,"_

_"No elbows on the table,"_

_"Hold your glass by the stem,"_

_"Cut your meat one slice at a time and only in one direction,"_

_"Sit straight, elbows in, head up, don't cross your legs and blah blah blah blah!"_

Trying to process all the information and rules Maura threw at me made me want to lay out on the couch, watch TV, and back out of the whole thing. But I'd promised Maura and I'd keep my promise. Maura at least was letting me wear the beautiful white suit she bought me yesterday instead of a dress. My new dresses were awesome of course, but pants would make it easier if I did or said something stupid and had to get the hell outta there in a hurry. Besides Maura was wearing a long gorgeous red gown and if nothing else I was happy I'd be standing next to her while she was wearing it. I hadn't seen her in it yet; but I imagined she was beautiful. Maura was _always_ beautiful, even without trying.

Albert had covered my awful bruised face with makeup and styled my hair in an up do that let my curls fall down my back. Looking at myself in the mirror I hardly recognized the person staring back at me. Two weeks ago the very idea of this was laughable. Two weeks ago I was spending my last dimes on a dress from Goodwill and Pay Less shoes to wear on my first date with my first John! Now look at me. I felt sick to my stomach again. I tried to remember everything Maura taught me last night. I tried to tell myself that I'd be OK, that my mother would be proud of me, that I wouldn't stick out, that someone would dance with me while Maura was making her speeches and greeting her guest. I tried to tell myself that Maura's mother would be friendly and I'd like her. I wanted to believe I wouldn't fall apart in front of the woman and make a fool of both me _and_ Maura. I wanted to believe all that would be true, but I'd keep my mouth closed as much as possible anyway. I had a tendency to say things sometimes that were inappropriate and rude in the most casual of settings. God forbid I'd let something slip like a curse word or a bad joke in the esteemed company of the greatest men and women New York had to offer. I sighed heavily weighed down by stress and terror.

"So girl, did you and the doctor make the sexy last night?" Albert asked laying down his curling iron and comb and standing right next to me bright-eyed and eager for answers.

He was wearing a very nice tuxedo, even though the jacket was pink and so were his shoes. I don't think Albert could wear anything that wasn't as colorful as a mosaic. Even so he did look dashing; make up, eye liner, lip gloss and all! I felt myself blushing under the scrutiny of Albert's gaze.

"No...I really wanted to but I was so nervous about today and so exhausted after everything that happened yesterday I just couldn't get it together!" I said rubbing my forehead and sighing heavily.

Albert rolled his eyes.

"Is that really why? You can tell me girl I can keep a secret!" Albert smiled.

I grinned sheepishly. I_ had_ been nervous about today, and I _had_ been exhausted by yesterday's insanity but in truth I was _terrified _of sleeping with Maura. What the hell did I know about sleeping with women? I'd never even _kissed _a woman before Maura! I had no idea how all of it worked! I hadn't slept with _anyone _since I got pregnant with Angela and that was almost two years ago. What if I wasn't good at it? What if I didn't please Maura? What if I didn't like it and freaked out or something? I can't imagine how I _wouldn't_ like it though; Maura _was_ gorgeous after all. She made me feel things between my legs I'd never felt before and that was only with a kiss or a smile or the smell of her perfume. What if I DID like it? What if she blew my mind, what if I had a revelation or something? There were just to many possibilities, to many unknowns, but most of all I was just scared!

"I don't know how," I admitted to Albert blushing twice as hard.

Albert rolled his eyes.

"You're thinking to much about it. You just gotta _relax_! Besides, Maura is a doctor..."Albert whispered leaning in and fixing me with sparkling excited eyes. "She knows _exactly _what she's doing with a human body...trust me girl I've heard the rumors! But she ain't gonna make the first move...you gotta let her know when you're ready! Then just lay back and let her do all the work" Albert winked at me.

"How do I...how do I make the first move?" I wailed.

I didn't know what the hell to do, I knew nothing about seducing women. Albert looked at me like I was crazy.

"Girl please...you ain't gotta do much. Maura is fired_ up_ for you sweetheart...everybody can see that shit honey! But you need to catch her when she has plenty of time and is in a good mood. Pour her a glass of wine, rub her feet, listen to her babble about her bullshit for a while. Then slip into the bathroom and change into one of those short little nightgowns I got you, put on some tall heels, let your hair down, channel all that sexy you got going on, walk back out to her and see what happens. I bet she'll have your ass climbing up the walls five minutes later." Albert giggled.

I wanted to talk more about it. I wanted to ask more questions but Maura walked into the bathroom looking like a vision of heaven and earth. I was speechless. Maura was absolutely gorgeous. Her red dress hugged her perfect body like skin and made the hazel of her eyes stand out with an intensity I'd never seen. Her blond curls cascaded down her back and a diamond necklace adorned her flawless white neck. She was wearing heels tall enough to make her an even height with myself and her lipstick made me want to press my lips against hers and send Albert away. Maura smiled at me, a smile that took my breath away. I was immobilized.

"Oooo girl look at you honey," Albert exclaimed as he circled Maura's form taking her all in.

I tried to speak, but my voice caught in my throat.

"Albert can you excuse Jane and I for a moment, the limo is already here...we'll be leaving in five minutes." Maura said kindly but never taking her gorgeous eyes away from mine.

"I'll wait for you ladies in the living room," Albert said winking at me behind Maura's back.

When we were left alone Maura walked up to me and spread my legs so she could stand between them. I couldn't stop looking at her, I could barely breathe. She was just so intoxicating. I wrapped my hands around her slender waist and felt her muscles tremble under my touch.

"Oh Maura...WOW!" I exclaimed. I couldn't think of anything better to say, words seemed to be hard to come by.

I forgot all about my nerves, I forgot all about my fear. I forgot about everything else in the world with Maura standing between my legs looking down at me with that amazing smile. The scent of her perfume filled my nose and made my head swim. I pulled her body against mine and cradled my lips in her neck kissing her softly. I heard a sigh escape Maura's mouth and she wrapped her fingers in my hair gently pulling my head back so I was looking right up at her.

"You're quite dashing Miss Rizzolli," Maura smiled down at me.

I grinned.

"You think so?" I smiled, "You look good enough to eat!" I said nuzzling my face in Maura's cleavage making silly moaning sounds.

Maura laughed excitedly as she pulled my head back again by my hair. I grinned wickedly at her. Maura's eyebrows arched. She looked twice as sexy giving me that crazy no-nonsense expression.

"No teasing Jane! You're going to be distraction enough as beautiful as you are; but it's going to be a long night and I need to focus." Maura said leaning over and kissing me lightly on the lips.

I pouted.

"I'll be focusing on _you_," I said running my hands up Maura's sides and trying to get at her breast again.

Maura was having none of it, she swatted my hands away playfully and pinched my nipple beneath my vest and shirt, hard.

"OWWWW!" I wailed scrunching my face into a frown.

Maura only smiled.

"You didn't want me last night, and you can't have me now!" Maura said kissing me lightly again.

I didn't stop pouting.

"I _did_ want you last night...I'm just...I don't know what I'm doing," I huffed, angry that I had admitted that to her.

Maura only rolled her eyes.

"I'm not going to push you Jane, but I have a feeling you know everything you need to know already." Maura gave me her sexiest grin as she leaned in and pressed her lips to my ear. "And what you don't know...I'll teach you!" she said in a low seductive voice.

I felt her hands running down my body and I jumped when she tucked her fingers down the front of my pants.

"OH! OH GOD!" My entire body shuddered.

I felt Maura laughing. I was having trouble breathing. She seemed to be amused!

"Come on you," Maura said pulling away and taking my hand. "We have to pick up Addison on the way,"

My heart dropped. Addison? I didn't even know she was coming, let alone that she was riding with us.

"Oh...I didn't know she was coming," I tried to sound casual.

Maura looked at me, studying me intensely.

"Does this upset you?" she asked.

"Ummm...No!"

I didn't want to let on how insecure and jealous I was about Addison. I knew she was going to be twice as beautiful as Maura thought I was. I think Maura sensed my discomfort because she leaned in and kissed me deeply. I fell into her kiss like I always did. My body was on fire, my mind raged with so many thoughts. I wish I hadn't chickened out last night because I wanted Maura so badly in that moment it was making me crazy. I moaned against Maura's lips and my body shook with my hunger for her. Maura let me cup her breast this time and didn't pull away. I smiled. They were so soft and so full. I wanted to feel them without her dress in the way, but I knew I wasn't about to get that lucky...not now at least. I had to make it through the night first. I now had a hell of a motivation to be on my best behavior because all I could think about was how much I wanted to get back here! I'll be damned if I pussied out again! Maura pulled away from me and giggled when I started trying to lift the hem of her dress. She swatted my hands away again and bit my lip playfully.

"Owww!" I grumbled rubbing my lip.

Maura eyed me and smiled.

"You have lipstick on your lips sweetheart!" Maura said brushing her thumb over my lips lightly.

I knew I was pouting like a child. Maura giggled and pulled me out of the chair by my ear.

"Come on you!" she teased as I whined and complained.

**Maura**

Jane looked tense and uncomfortable the entire ride to the hotel where Addison was staying. I didn't know exactly what was on Jane's mind. I would have inquired but Albert was busy chatting away and sipping his champagne excitedly. I knew Jane wouldn't open up to me in front of anyone else anyway. Jane's mind seemed far away and distant as she stared out the window not paying much attention to me or even Albert. I tried to converse as politely as possible with Albert, but Jane was the only thing on my mind for the most part. I'd been to a million of these fundraisers since I was a child. I'd given many speeches and danced many dances with people I didn't even care to know and would never call again. But tonight was different. Tonight I had a date, and not just any date. I had Jane, who was absolutely stunning in her crisp white three-piece suit and white Italian leather shoes. But I was nervous for some reason, maybe it was because I knew Jane was nervous herself. It had taken a great deal of persuasion to get Jane to agree to go with me in the first place and I knew she was terrified she'd feel out of place. I wasn't afraid of that myself as far as Jane was concerned. Jane was so beautiful tonight and her personality was vibrant and entertaining on the worst of days. If I was worried about anything it was that Jane would second guess herself to the point of inhibiting her wonderful personality. I wanted her to relax and enjoy herself and let others enjoy her the way I did. Well...not in _every_ way that I did. There were some parts of Jane I wanted all to myself, parts I had felt but never seen in all their glory. I wanted many things from Jane; but for right now I just wanted her to have fun.

I reached over and took Jane's hand in my own. She turned and smiled at me. It was a forced uncomfortable smile that made me a little sad, but I knew she was trying. I knew she was doing her best. I just wish I knew what else was on her mind that was bothering her so much. The limo slowed in front of the hotel and I spotted Addison waiting on the curb dressed in a beautiful green gown. Jane saw her too and smiled. Jane's eyes even lit up a little as she stared at Addison. I wondered what she was thinking. She certainly didn't look jealous of the woman in that moment. Jane looked at Addison like she'd looked at me when I first entered the bathroom of our apartment earlier in the evening. I felt a pang of hurt and jealousy. I wanted those eyes of Jane's to be only for me. I hadn't bothered telling Jane I owned this hotel too; I thought it might upset her if she knew I'd put Addison up for the duration of Angela's hospital stay. But Jane didn't seem to be in the least bit upset about Addison in the moment.

"I'll get out and get the door," Jane said crawling out of the limo before I could make any protest.

"Oh my lord that woman is gorgeous!" Albert said looking out the window at Addison who was now hugging Jane.

"She's an old friend," I said as politely as I could.

"She seems fairly friendly with Jane too!" Albert said, studying Jane and Addison's embrace out the window.

I batted down my frustration and disappointment; it would be unseemly for me to react unpleasantly over a simple hug between a long friend of mine and Jane. I willed myself not to over-react like I had with the bell boy. If I looked like that yesterday, hugging Addison in front of Jane, I now understood why she felt jealous. A pain hit my chest that I tried my hardest to ignore. Even with my greatest effort I knew I was giving off an air of discomfort.

Albert studied me for a few moments.

"You look like you need one of these," Albert said setting down his own champagne glass and went about pouring one for me.

I took it gratefully. Addison climbed into the limo and sat across from me greeting me and Albert pleasantly.

"Addison, I'm so glad you could make it," I said offering her a glass of champagne which she accepted graciously.

Jane climbed back into the limo and sat next to Addison this time making me grit my teeth. I hoped my expression didn't belie the frustration I was feeling. Addison's green eyes sparked and her red hair was done up in a gorgeous bun making her features look sharp and elegant at the same time. Jane gave me her lopsided grin before turning back to Addison.

"I wanted to say thank you, Addison, for writing that letter to DCS. It made a world of difference. They aren't going to pursue a case against us. I don't know what you said to those people; but you're my daughter's hero!" Jane smiled. I thought I saw her eyes shining with tears.

Addison reached over and squeezed Jane's hand in her lap.

"I was happy to help you...and Maura," Addison added my name as an after thought I noticed. I felt myself frown but quickly replaced it with a smile.

I have always had trust issues; but I trusted Jane and I trusted Addison and would continue to do so until I had a reason to doubt them. At that moment Jane turned and looked at me. Her face was split in that grin that made her adorable.

"Maura's _my_ hero!" Jane winked at me.

I felt my insides flutter. There was nothing forced about the smile I gave Jane in return.

"So, how long have you and Maura been friends?' Jane inquired accepting a glass of champagne from Albert.

"Oh...we've know each other for years. I've been to tons of these things but I've never known Maura to have a date. I believe she struck gold with _you_ beautiful!" Addison smiled as she ran her eyes over Jane's body.

Jane gushed and blushed. I rolled my eyes. Albert kicked me lightly and gave me a quick frown before turning back to the two women.

"Where is your date Dr. Montgomery?" Albert asked studying Addison.

Addison chuckled, "Tell me where I can find another one of these and I'll show you my date!" Addison smiled at Jane and squeezed her hand.

Jane turned some kind of purple color. I felt heat rising in my face but Albert sensed the tension in my body and moved to speak before I did.

"Jane and Maura are going to be a big hit tonight I'm sure." Albert said.

Jane smiled at me again. Her dark eyes radiated affection...I hoped that affection was for me and not because of Addison.

We made pleasant conversation the rest of the way to my charity event which was being held at the Garden Hotel that I also owned. Jane seemed to be much happier and far more talkative than she was before. I tried not to think it was because of Addison, but at least Jane seemed to be getting along better. Never the less I was grateful when we arrived. Jane stepped from the limo first and extended her hand to help me to my feet. There were finely dressed people everywhere in the courtyard milling around, sipping drinks, and chatting pleasantly with one another. Jane looked around nervously. Her eyes were bright and uncertain. My heart melted with sympathy and love. I heard many people calling my name but I ignored them for the moment. I gave Jane several lingering kisses on her pretty lips. She looked hazy eyed and was blushing by the time I pulled away from her. I couldn't help myself from smiling as I wiped my lipstick from her lips with my thumb again.

Albert popped out of the limo next and started raving and clapping his hands running over to a man he recognized who met him with a hug and many loud exclamations. Jane and I both giggled at them. I spotted my mother standing around one of the fountains. My heart skipped three beats and my stomach turned. I hadn't seen my mother in six months; but I was anxious for her to meet Jane. I wanted to show her I _could_ get a date and I wasn't hopeless and bound to be alone forever. I started to pull Jane toward the fountain but she ducked her head back into the limo and helped Addison to her feet. Addison smiled and flushed.

"Who knew you were such a gentlewoman Jane!" Addison gushed.

I thought I noticed Jane's chest poke out a little, "I've been practicing," Jane joked with her silly grin. "I have a lady to impress," she said leaning over and pecking me lightly on the lips.

I felt myself blush furiously. Addison's eyebrows rose dramatically as she watched Jane and I giggle at each other. Jane was whispering dirty things in my ear as she held me by my waist. I was trying to shoo her away playfully but Jane's words were making me weak. People were calling for me everywhere and Jane was an awful distraction; but so adorable I couldn't resist her playful advances.

"Look Maura it's your mother...Hello Constance!" Addison said suddenly.

I turned to see my mother approaching us. Constance Isles was dressed in a lovely black evening gown, her hair done up in a pretty diamond pin and a black diamond necklace adorned her neck. Mother's sharp angular face was compliment with light amounts of makeup and she walked with her head high and lips pursed as she always did. My mother was always well dressed and proper. Her eyes were wide and curious as she looked between Jane, Addison, and I. Mother looked at Jane the most I noticed. Jane seemed to have turned a strange pale color and appeared to be a bit faint. She'd backed away from me several steps and seemed afraid to make eye contact with me any further. I knew she was wondering how much of our playful exchange mother had seen.

"Good evening Dr. Montgomery, how good of you to come." Mother said pleasantly in that prim accent of hers extending her hand toward Addison.

Addison shook her hand graciously.

"And will your father, the Colonel, be joining us this evening?" Mother asked.

"Oh no, he's off in the Riviera for the summer I'm afraid." Addison said sadly.

"Well, we are more than happy to have you here. You and your family are always welcome." Mother smiled one of her rare smiles at Addison who blushed a little.

"And whom may I ask is this dashing young lady?" Mother asked looking Jane over curiously.

Jane looked positively faint under the studious all-seeing eye of my mother. I moved to rescue Jane quickly despite the fact that my name was being called from every direction.

"Mother this is Jane Rizzolli! I wrote about her in the email I sent you. She's my date this evening." I smiled encouragingly at Jane.

Jane smiled nervously at my mother and extended her hand which my mother shook politely.

"It's lovely to meet you finally Mrs. Isles," Jane smiled pleasantly. I was so glad Jane wasn't falling apart. She was so much better at handling stressful situations than I.

"You are a sight this evening Miss Rizzolli. I can't believe my daughter managed to snag a woman as commanding as yourself. Maura's always had such odd and unseemly taste in women; that's if she could ever get a date at all. People don't find Maura very appealing. Her personality is often lacking I'm afraid. It's a wonder you find her interesting enough to accompany her anywhere let alone here. Maura is always such a bore at occasions like these. We'll have to talk more, I have so many things to warn you about." my mother said snidely.

I felt my face fall and tears stinging my eyes. My mother had never been overly kind to me; putting me down in front of others seemed to be her favorite way to amuse herself. I felt my chest burn with pain and my throat hurt from trying not to cry in front of everyone. I knew I wasn't perfect, but I thought bringing Jane here would show my mother that someone _did_ find me interesting and I _was _worth loving after all...no matter what she thought. I _wanted _my mother to be proud of me, or maybe even happy for me for a change. But it seemed no matter what I did I'd never be good enough, not even with Jane by my side.

I didn't see the way Jane's expression turned into one of shock and disbelief upon hearing my mother's unkind words. I was to busy staring down at my feet blinking away tears. I felt Addison touch my arm gently to encourage me but I was too far gone in my darkness to find much comfort from the gesture. I wanted to run away, to run from Mother and Jane. I didn't want Jane to see me become the weak inadequate wretch my mother always seemed to bring out of me. Jane had seen enough of my weaknesses to last a lifetime. How would she ever think of me as strong again? How would she ever look at me with those beautiful dark eyes full of admiration and wonder after seeing me belittled and torn down by my own mother. I felt years of horrible memories of my shortcomings and inadequacies flood my mind. I was that awkward little girl again that no one would eat with in the lunch room or partner with for class assignments or invite to sleepovers or parties. I was that strange uncoordinated kid with no date to the prom and no company but my books and my imagination. What did Jane think of me now? I hung my head in shame.

"There is no where in the world I'd rather be than right here with your daughter Mrs. Isles," Jane said firmly moving beside me, taking my hand giving it a tight squeeze.

I looked up at Jane and smiled. Her face was tight and strained. I knew she was trying her hardest to keep from glaring daggers at my mother, but I could still tell Jane was angry. I could tell by how tense every muscle in her body was, and how tightly she held my hand. I could tell by the defiant set of her jaw and the stiff arch of her back. Addison looked uncomfortable. My mother gazed right back at Jane curiously. What must she be thinking? The last thing I wanted was for there to be a row between my mother and Jane. I'd never seen Jane particularly angry before but I knew she could be cold and hurtful and so could my mother. By the look on Jane's face I was afraid she was thinking many cold and hurtful things to say to my mother and I was terrified. We hadn't even been at the hotel five minutes and already disaster loomed.

"My goodness Maura. Where did you say you found this little pet of yours again? She's awfully protective of you. Perhaps that's what you need, you've never been very good at standing up for yourself. Remember all those times you let those girls torment you in school and you did nothing but run and hide like a fool. It's good you found a dashing little dog to do your biting for you." My mother smirked.

I felt Jane's hand tremble in my own. Her face dissolved completely into one of fury and loathing. She wasn't even bothering trying to hide it anymore. The air around us had grown heavy and chilly and I was panicking inside. I chanced a look at Jane's eyes, I saw a fire behind them that made my blood run cold. My mother was staring right back at Jane studying her like a hawk. There were remnants of a smirk on my mother's face that made me sick. I wanted to speak but I was busy trying to breathe normally and hold my composure. It wouldn't do to prove my mother right and run away to hide in a corner at my own charity event. But I felt like I was falling apart on the inside. My mother's words were cutting into me like a knife.

"This dog has very sharp teeth," Jane said in a low, chilly, dangerous voice.

My mother simply arched her eyebrows and smiled. It was my turn to feel faint. Addison's green eyes were wide and uncertain as she stared between Jane and mother.

"Oh Goodness," Addison piped in. "There's Allison, let's go speak with her Maura. I'd like to make a donation to your foundation as I do every year. Jane would you like to come along?" Addison asked nervously.

Jane and my mother hadn't parted gazes yet. I thought they were trying to bore holes into each others skulls with their minds.

"Yes Jane, let's go speak with Allison. I have so many people I'd like to introduce you to tonight." I said wrapping my hand under Jane's elbow and trying to pull her away discretely.

I thought Jane was going to resist at first; but I squeezed her gently and she turned to look at me. I don't know what was showing on my face but Jane's expression softened under my gaze and she smiled.

"Of course, Maura. Lead the way." She said pleasantly.

I exhaled a grateful breath.

"It was nice to see you again Constance." Addison said politely.

"Oh you'll be seeing me again shortly. We are dining together of course." Mother replied, but she never took her eyes from Jane.

Jane glared at her.

"Ok well let's be going," I said quickly pulling Jane away, Addison followed.

I led Jane around the different circles of people gathered in the hotel court-yard. I introduced her to everyone as my date which Jane seemed to be very proud of and confident about all of a sudden. She seemed to have forgotten all about being a nervous wreck. Her exchange with my mother seemed to have lit a fire in Jane burning away all insecurities allowing her vibrant personality to shine. She seemed determined to please me and was never far from me. Jane spoke with everyone pleasantly and amused every group with silly jokes and animated conversation that made everyone laugh and smile. I didn't have to say much and I was grateful for Jane's casual banter. My mind was far to consumed with thoughts of my past and my mother. My heart was far to heavy with hurt and self loathing to be entertaining myself. Besides, I was never good at small talk. I always felt awkward and out-of-place even at my own events. My mother was right, I _was _a bore. But Jane was carrying on like she'd done this twice as many times as I and was the focal point of every eye in every group I introduced her to. Addison had made her way off with a dopey eyed young oil heir and it was just Jane and I now; which is the way I loved it.

Jane hadn't paid Addison any attention at all since she met my mother. Jane refused to let go of my hand and even if she had to she would stand right next to me and wrap her arm around my waist protectively. I kept a constant eye out for my mother. I had a feeling it wasn't over between Jane and Constance Isles but I would do everything I could to see that things didn't come to a head tonight at least. For now, I was just happy Jane was with me and having a good time; at least outwardly it seemed she was enjoying herself. If it weren't for Jane I wouldn't have the confidence to linger so long with all my guest. I was a wreck inside, but I had to suck it up for Jane and prove my mother wrong. I didn't want to give mother a reason to put me down again, especially not in front of Jane.

I led Jane to a small cluster of women I'd attended school with in my childhood. They were all well to do and from high society families like my own. But I'd never particularly liked any of them. They'd always been polite in their manner but their words were often biting and cruel despite the smiles on their faces. I always left them feeling weary and undesired. I didn't want to speak to them now...but it was my duty as the hostess to greet all my guest.

"Hello Cynthia, Blair, Michaela, Sherri! I'd like you all to meet Jane Rizzolli, my date for the evening." I said proudly smiling lovingly at Jane who grinned that silly little lopsided grin at me.

The ladies all seemed shocked as they stared at Jane wide-eyed and wondering. They were of course dressed in their finest gowns, diamonds, and designer shoes sipping their champagne. In the past they'd always greeted me with a snide comment about my lack of a date, or husband, or children. The loved to point out my character flaws under a veil of polite advice. However, in this moment they seemed stunned and speechless. They seemed to be lacking cruel words to say to me as they looked at Jane in her dazzling white suit. Jane grinned at all of them in turn and shook their hands.

"Well, aren't you a gorgeous little thing!" Sherri said.

Sherri was the leader of the group and the most cruel to me in the past. But she seemed to have eyes and interest only for Jane. Jane blushed.

"You are very beautiful yourself Sherri." Jane replied politely.

Sherri smiled devilishly at Jane and so did all the others. The rest of them were whispering behind their hands and giggling as they looked at Jane; but Sherri never let her lust filled eyes part from my date. I felt my heart harden and my jaw clinch. Perhaps I should not have introduced Jane to these women at all.

"Tell me...Jane, how much did Maura pay you to make you pretend to be her date tonight?" Sherri asked bluntly.

I felt my heart drop and my eyes lower again.

"Why would you think Maura paid me?" Jane asked cocking her head to the side and frowning slightly.

"Oh please honey. Everyone knows Maura can't get a date she didn't buy, especially not someone as gorgeous as you darling! She always runs people off with her boring rambling and socially awkward aloofness. Maura couldn't even get a date to prom; not even from the weird guy that smelled like cheese!" Sherri and all the girls laughed around their champagne glasses.

I thought I heard Jane's teeth grinding in her head. I was to busy blinking back tears again to pay much attention though. I'd been embarrassed many times in my life; but being embarrassed constantly in front of Jane was a knife in my chest. Was I really so awful that I deserved to be treated this badly? Why did people not believe that Jane cared for me? Not even my mother! I couldn't even stand to look at Jane anymore, I didn't want to see her look at me the way everyone else did. I didn't want Jane to see my pain either; I just wanted to get away and be alone like I always was. It was safer alone, at least alone I had no one to disappoint and embarrass but myself. At least alone Jane wouldn't have to be ashamed to be my date or witness my torment. I should never have asked Jane here. I should have let her stay home and battled my way through this nightmare by myself.

"Actually, Maura is my _girlfriend_ and I'm happy to be here and support her. Only an idiot wouldn't want to be the date of the beautiful and great Dr. Isles! I couldn't be more proud of my girlfriend than I am right now!" Jane said lifting my chin and planting a light kiss on my stunned lips.

Jane's eyes glowed in the lantern light of the gardens and her sweet smile took my breath away. Her face and eyes sparkled with sincerity and kindness and she looked at me like I was the queen of the world. No one had ever looked at me like that before. My mind was drowning in a sea of love and relief. I let Jane kiss me and felt my knees go weak. I felt myself blush and my heart flutter. My breath caught in my throat and my eyes burned with tears of joy. Jane walked behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist pulling me into her body. I wrapped my fingers over Jane's hands and sighed when I felt Jane's lips on my neck briefly. I closed my eyes and shuddered under the assault of affecting with which I was being showered. For a moment I forgot where I was. I forgot I was in the presence of women who had tormented me most of my life. I forgot I was the hostess of one of the most premier events of the summer. I forgot I was awkward and unlovable and boring and undesirable. I forgot about my years of loneliness and pain. I forgot about my hateful mother and my absent father. I forgot everything in the arms of the woman that set my soul on fire and said she was proud of me! No one ever said that to me before. I would have cried if I had the breath to do so. How long had I wanted to hear words of honest affection? How long had I dreamed of a moment like this? But any and all dreams paled in comparison to the gravity of this moment. I could have floated away into the heavens. If there was a heaven, it was not a place. It was feeling...it was a moment...it was _that _very moment in the arms of the woman I loved.

"You're so beautiful, Maura. You're twice the woman as any of these little girls!" Jane whispered in my ear.

Jane kissed my jaw softly and I barely stopped a moan from escaping my mouth. I closed my eyes and shuddered in Jane's arms, reveling in her soft tender words. I felt a powerful wave of love and sexual arousal over come me with the heat of a lightning strike. So intense was the feeling that I had to grasp Jane's arms and lean against her to keep myself from falling. I opened my eyes and sighed heavily surprised and overwhelmed by the fire between my legs. I could feel my moist thighs and adjusted my stance to hold my juices inside. I turned back to the women and saw their stunned open jawed expressions and smiled haughtily. I'd been embarrassed by many things in my past, but I wasn't embarrassed by what I was feeling in the moment or what I may have looked like quivering under Jane's touch. It was about time I got one up on those awful women.

"So ladies, are you all here with someone also?" Jane inquired, still not releasing me from her arms.

"My husband is away on business," Michaela said

"Mine too," said Cynthia

"My husband is working late at the office," Blair said

"My husband is...well he's here somewhere." Sherri said offhandedly.

"Oh well, they are all lucky men I'm sure," Jane said kindly. "How do you all know Maura?"

"Oh...we all went to school together in France for a while and the same finishing school in the states. We've known each other since we were girls." Sherri replied having the nerve to smile at me.

"Oh, that's nice that you all stayed in touch for so long. What do you all do now?" Jane asked

I had a sudden spark of confidence standing in Jane's embrace staring down the women I'd hated for so long.

"They do nothing, but their husbands all work for me." I said eyeing each woman in turn.

They all blushed and pouted. I turned my head to look at Jane, I thought I saw something like burning pride in her eyes. I smiled at her but my mind was wandering. I wanted to kiss Jane. I wanted to feel her body tremble in my hands. I wanted to make her understand how grateful I was to have her by my side. I wanted her to feel as loved I felt in the moment. I wanted to give Jane everything as she had given me.

"Come along Jane, I want to show you the rest of the gardens before the speeches start."

I nodded to the women and their frowning faces and led Jane away down the stone path.

"Gosh Maura, you know a _lot_ of people! I spoke to two Senators and the Mayor of New York and a Saudi prince who said I had nice titts...can you believe that? Did you hear him? Who actually says things like that to people they don't know? I met a bunch of celebrities and a ballerina and a basketball star! And I met the guys that founded Google and the CEO of Starbucks! His wife couldn't stop looking at me...it was _weird!"_ Jane giggled lightheartedly as she held my hand through the gardens.

I only smiled. I led her to a little coy pond with an iron worked bench in front of it where I knew we'd have at least a small bit of privacy. I pulled Jane to sit with me. We stared at the fish in the pond for a little while enraptured by the twinkling lantern light shining on the surface of the water. The sun was very near setting now and the sky was a gorgeous cascade of pink and orange and purple. A warm breeze blew through the trees and flowers sending up gusts of pollen and petals floating through the air. I'd walked through this garden many times. I'd never seen it look as beautiful as it did in that very moment sitting next to the woman I loved so much. Jane hadn't let go of my hand or said anything since we sat down. I wondered what she was thinking. Her face had the intense look it always got when she was thinking hard about something. I decided to pry. I'd never felt closer to Jane than I did in the moment and I wanted answers to so many questions.

"Do you really consider me to be your girlfriend, Jane?" I asked softly.

I was afraid of the answer. What if she only said it to throw off that wicked Sherri? Jane turned to me her eyes wide and uncertain, then she turned away staring back at the pond. I knew Jane wanted to speak, but expressing emotions was difficult for her. It was difficult for me also, but I was willing to bend and I wanted Jane to bend with me. I squeezed her hand to encourage her and kissed her cheek. Jane looked at me and smiled, blushing like a school girl.

"I...we've only known each other for like a week and a half..."

"...Twelve days actually!" I corrected.

Jane rolled her eyes at me.

"Do you want to hear my answer or are you going to get stuck on the details like you always do," she pouted.

I sighed and scooted closer to Jane, nestling against her side and pulling her arm around my shoulders.

"I'm all ears," I said softly leaning my head on Jane's shoulder.

I felt Jane sigh. I was a few moments before she spoke again.

"You mean more to me than anyone has in five years, Maura." Jane said softly.

I turned my head and saw tears shining behind her dark brown eyes.

"I've...I've never felt this way before. I care about you so _much,_ Maura! I think about you all the time, I miss you when you're not around, I even _dream_ about you in my sleep. Don't get me wrong you drive me crazy sometimes, and you can't ride a bike for shit, and you're terrible at basketball, and you treat me like a child sometimes, and you nag me _constantly..."_ Jane chuckled to herself.

I giggled too.

"...But I don't know what I'd do without you Maura. I don't know what I ever _did_ do without you! I'd probably by on my back right now with some guy between my legs instead of here with you if we'd never met!"

"Jane, please don't talk like that," I sighed.

"It's _true_ Maura, you _know_ it's true! But I don't have to do that now thanks to you. Addison said I gained six ounces when she weighed me at the hospital yesterday. My blood work came back better. Angela is still alive because of you! And Franklin Thomas means the world to me! But mostly...when I look at you my heart explodes with so many thoughts and feelings it overwhelms me! When I'm with you in bed, I just want to kiss you all the time. Even when your driving me crazy I still just want to kiss you. You make me think of my mother. She...she would have loved you _so _much Maura, And when I watch you with Angela, it makes me love you so much more. Angela smiles at you, she _never_ smiles at anyone but me. And she falls right to sleep every time you sing to her. You look so happy with her in your arms and she looks so happy when your holding her. When I watch you with her I _know_ there will never be another person that I trust as much as you with my daughter. You really are just like a dad to Angela." Jane's voice cracked in her throat and I know I saw the tears ready to fall from her eyes.

Jane turned her head away so I couldn't see her face. But I _wanted _to see her face, my heart was melting more and more with every word she spoke. I wrapped my fingers around her chin and turned her head back to me gently. Jane's eyes never met mine but one lonely tear fell from both of her eyes and ran down her beautiful olive-skinned face. We were so close our lips were almost touching. I could feel Jane's warm sweet breath on my cheek and smell the lavender of her body wash. I closed my eyes and filled my nose and my senses with the essence of Jane. My body felt weak and my heart felt light in the moment. I was enraptured in every word Jane spoke and I shuddered every time she planted one of her sweet tender kisses on my lips.

"For so long I thought I was lost without Ma and my brothers. Even after I had Angela I hated myself because I knew I'd never be able to give her everything my mother gave me. And not even that I didn't have much money to provide for her. I was so broken and so empty inside I could never show Angela the love and support my mother gave me from the day I was born. But now...Maura you filled a hole inside of me I thought would be there forever. You've exposed parts of me I've hidden away for five years and even before that. You make me want to cook you dinner, you make me want to try new things, you make me happy first thing in the morning and you and Angela are the last thing on my mind at night. When I kiss you Maura...it feels like I'm floating and drowning at the same time. When your mom was talking all that crap about you, God I wanted to scream at her. I couldn't _stand_ it! I _hate_ it when you're hurt! And I _will_ to Maura...I will _scream_ at her if she does it again." Jane said fixing me with an expression that could burn rubber.

I was taken back by the intensity of her eyes.

"Please don't scream at her! I know she's trying but..."

"...And those women you went to school with...what's wrong with that Sherri girl? Why do people keep saying you're boring and can't get a date? I can't imagine why you don't have people lining up to get at you! Look at you...you're gorgeous, and oddly funny sometimes, smart, intelligent, successful, you own everything in the city! What's _not_ to like about you?" Jane's eye brows were furrowed in confusion.

She looked like she really couldn't understand! My heart melted again.

"Before I met you...and even now I was never good at making friends or having relationships. People...people scare me Jane!" I sighed.

Jane looked at me like I was crazy.

"People should be scared of _you _not the other way around! Most people _are_ scared of you; you're intimidating to weak minded people! There's nothing wrong with you, you're awesome!" Jane frowned at me.

I tried not to laugh at Jane's intense face. I knew she was trying to encourage me but she looked like she wanted to punch something.

"Jane...my childhood was less than perfect..." I started but Jane cut me off again.

"...How come you never talk about your family? I tell you so many things about _my _family and they are dead. _Your_ parents are still alive but you never talk about them. You told me your mother would be proud that you showed up with a date...but she just seems so...so _cold_ and cruel! What is going on with all that?" Jane asked curiously, her face still scrunched in a frown.

I faltered for a few moments. I didn't know what to say. There were _many_ reasons I didn't talk about my family, mostly because I didn't have much of a family to begin with. But Jane's eyes were wide with curiosity and yearning for understanding. I sighed and willed myself to speak about what hurt me most.

"I...I hardly ever see my father and when I do all he talks about is business and traveling. He's not very interested in me and never has been. He spends all his time with his mistresses and sailing on his yachts. My mother, well you've seen what she's like, she hates me. I grew up lonely and have remained so until I met you." I said trying to smile at Jane.

Jane's face was stricken with sympathy and sadness. I sighed and hung my head. I didn't want her to feel sorry for me. I wanted her to love me.

"For the first time in my life I feel alive. I dream of you _too_ Jane. Every time I look at you I still can't believe you're real and how lucky I am. You saved me Jane...you saved me from myself and my loneliness. You turned my cold dark apartment into a warm inviting home and you've filled my heart with hope and love! I don't want to live another day without you." I felt tears forming in my own eyes again.

Jane turned my head towards hers and gave me her brightest smile.

"It's _you _that saved _me_ Maura, you saved me _and _my daughter."

I half laughed half sobbed. "How about we just call it even," I said trying to smile through my tears.

"Don't cry Maura, I _hate_ it when you cry! And you're so beautiful tonight, I'm the luckiest woman in the world to be your date." Jane said running her thumb over my cheek.

"I love you Jane Rizzolli," I blurted out before I could stop myself.

I was shocked at my forwardness. I don't even know where that came from it just escaped my mouth like vomit! I felt my eyes go wide and my insides go cold. I hadn't meant to say that...not now...not so soon! I didn't want to freak Jane out and scare her away. I was panicking inside. But Jane only smiled at me again. One tear fell from each of her eyes again and her lips quivered.

"I love you too Dr. Maura Isles," Jane said leaning in and kissing me.

She said it...she said 'I love you too'! I was dying and being reborn in unison! I wanted to go on kissing Jane forever. The crickets chirped a symphony of love for Jane and I against the background of the setting sun. My heart exploded with love and desire. My mind danced with thoughts of many hopes and dreams I never thought would come true but were now manifesting in that very moment. I melted into Jane, I surrendered myself to her, I was hers completely and she was mine. I loved that woman shining like an angel in her pretty white suit. I loved Jane and I knew I'd love her until the day I died.

"Oh Goodness...I've been looking for you two everywhere," Addison's voice broke our precious moment.

Jane pulled back instantly and looked over her shoulder at Addison.

"They want you at the stage Maura...everyone is seated and it's about to start!" Addison said looking guilty that she'd interrupted us.

"Of course," I said standing quickly.

I grabbed Jane's hand and started to lead her away when she pulled me back into her arms.

"Wait...I wanted to ask you something," Jane grinned mischievously.

"Jane what is it?" I giggled.

"Will you be my girlfriend Maura Isles?" Jane asked with that lopsided smile on her face.

I laughed like I'd never laughed before and with a heart as light as a feather.

"I've been yours from the moment I laid eyes on you Jane Rizzolli." I smiled.


	13. Cinderella Part 2

**Jane**

The table Addison led me to was the smallest one in the open court-yard of the hotel. There weren't half as many faces around it as were around the others. But most of the faces I recognized at least. There was James and his wife. James seemed oddly out of sorts and loopy headed. It must have been because of his pain killers and the champagne he was drinking. He'd hobbled up to the table the same time I did. His stride was bowed legged and awkward from his injuries. Despite his condition James lifted me off my feet into a crushing hug exclaiming over how beautiful I was and how happy he was for Maura and I. Everyone around us turned and stared. I thought I was going to die and James wouldn't put me down despite how much I struggled. I was very nearly out of breath when his wife slapped him upside the head with her purse and led him to his seat hissing and scolding him the entire time. Next to them was seated Allison and her husband, a balding but friendly soft-spoken man who was far out shined by his wife's beauty and dynamic personality. Allison was a woman of few words and even fewer smiles, but she radiated confidence that amplified her dark beauty and spoke with commanding intelligence. Next to them was Addison who was sitting to my left. Addison kept smiling at some man she met earlier seated at another table. I thought the guy looked a little plump and dopey and far below Addison's league, but who was I to judge? To my right was Maura's empty seat and next to that was Constance, Maura's mother! The woman seemed to be unable to take her eyes off me. I wasn't intimidated by her anymore. I had a great deal of feelings about Maura's mother I wanted to express, but now was not the time or place. I bit my tongue concentrating on the MC for the evening as he introduced Maura.

Everyone at the event stood clapping their hands and cheering for Maura as she walked to the podium. She was twice as beautiful under the bright lights of the stage. Her every movement was elegant and graceful and her smile made me weak. The sky was now dark and twinkling with the first stars of the evening. I couldn't help but think Maura twinkled also. There were hundreds of people at the event. I hadn't met half of them yet but everyone seemed to have a particular respect for Maura, even though Maura was strangely awkward around the guest during our more personal interactions with them. She'd been subdued and almost shy around all the people she introduced me to. It was left to me to take the lead and hold conversations with everyone. I didn't have a choice; we couldn't both be awkward and nervous. I couldn't figure out what was going on with Maura's bizarre behavior. I'd seen Maura storm and rage before, I'd seen Maura speak with command and confidence before. I'd seen Maura reduce capable people to near tears with the power of her voice and the ferocity of her glare. But it seemed like ever since we spoke with her mother all the wind was gone from Maura's sails. That more than anything made me loath Constance Isles. I wanted Maura to shine, but her mother was like tarnish on a silver plate. I glared at Constance from the corner of my eye before we all took our seats to hear Maura's speech. Maura made me promise not to yell at her mother...but still...I wasn't about to let the woman embarrass and belittle my girlfriend again.

I couldn't believe how beautiful Maura was on that stage. Her speech was wonderful and Maura was extremely well spoken and poised. She smiled at me many times throughout the speech and I couldn't stop myself from smiling back. It was just an involuntary reaction at this point. I couldn't believe the gorgeous woman on that stage captivating so many people with her words was my girlfriend...MY girlfriend. The more I said the word 'girlfriend' in my head, the more I couldn't believe how lucky I was and how much my life had changed. After a while I noticed many other people were looking at me too and not just the people at my table. I chanced a glance around the courtyard, more than half the eyes at each table were roaming over to me in between listening to Maura's speech. I felt slightly uncomfortable but I brushed it aside. I knew I was the first date Maura brought to one of these things. I guess it was only natural that people were interested...even if I did think all the staring was inappropriate and a bit nosy.

I noticed Constance studying me from time to time also. I tried not to glare at the woman, though it was difficult to bite my tongue when so many hateful thoughts were raging through my head. I wouldn't make a scene though, I promised Maura. Maura ended her speech to a round of applause and made her way back to the table with a smile and twinkling eyes. I greeted her with a tight hug.

"You were _amazing_ Maura...I'm so proud of you!" I whispered in her ear.

Maura's smile could have melted gold. She kissed me several times with blushing cheeks and trembling lips before we took our seats again. Everyone at the table complimented Maura with gracious words and pleasant smiles. Everyone but her mother I noticed. She wasn't paying any attention to Maura at all. I caught Constance's eye several times, the woman's eyes seemed to be drawn to me. I wrapped my arm around Maura protectively; wordlessly challenging Constance to act an ass again. Maybe I _was_ Maura's guard dog. Constance could call me whatever she liked. Maura was mine now and I'd bite if I had to!

Next, Allison made a captivating speech of her own. Everyone's attention returned to the stage as she spoke. My mind was swimming with thoughts and admiration of my girlfriend; but I paid Allison her due respect between squeezing Maura's hand beneath the table. Allison's husband gazed proudly at her every moment she was on the stage. I wondered how long they had been married. He seemed as in love with Allison as he was the day they were wed. It made me smile. It made me wish for the same thing with Maura one day. I wanted to stand by her side; always and forever in awe of her. I felt Maura's hand on my leg. She never took her eyes from the stage but the gesture was meant to comfort me. I smiled to myself and ran my fingers through Maura's hair. I saw her grin from the corner of my eye. I felt Constance watching us from the corner of my other eye. I batted down the urge to glare at her again.

When Allison returned to the table we all complimented her as we did Maura. This time Constance joined in the praises with verve and excitement. It made me grit my teeth. I noticed Maura's shoulders sag even though she was trying to smile and remain outwardly passive. But I knew it bothered her that she'd received not so much as a word from her mother after her speech only to turn around and have Constance compliment Allison with so much fervor. I kissed Maura's cheek lightly before we took our seats again. She smiled at me graciously but I could still see the pain in her eyes. My distaste for Constance was growing by leaps and bounds every second Maura spent second guessing herself and agonizing over her mother's aloofness. My heart hurt watching Maura's internal battle consume her mind. I wanted to give her all the comforting words and compliments I could think of. To me Maura was...well she was _everything_ to me. Maura had more character, generosity, intelligence, and grace than I'd ever known one person to possess. Maura was far from perfect; she had a ferocious temper and quirky habits, but still she was a wonderful person. Why couldn't her mother see how special she was? Why did she feel the need to belittle and embarrass and ignore her own daughter who should have been the pride of her existence? **My** mother would have sobbed and cried all through my speech if it was me on that stage. She probably would have baked me a cake and brought it here along with a million baby pictures and made sure everyone knew I was her daughter and how proud she was of me. I would have drowned in my families affections if it were me on that stage having accomplished so much in my life as Maura. But Maura had no family to cheer for her or speak with pride about her to everyone they knew. My heart broke all over again.

Several more speeches were made before many people in black clothing took the stage with instruments. They began playing soft classical music and conversation erupted at every table.

"Dinner is to be served now...and then dancing." Maura whispered to me.

I looked down at my place setting. There were three glasses, three forks, three knives, two spoons, a small bowl and three plates beneath it. I sighed heavily willing myself to remember what Maura tried to teach me the night before. Maura squeezed my knee under the table and smiled. She unfurled her napkin and placed it in her lap. I did the same. Several waiters in sharp black tuxedo's approached our table with various bottles of wine in their white-gloved hands. One waiter approached my left just like Maura said they would.

"Would Miss care to sample the wine of the evening. We have a lovely Pinot Grigio, a nice Pinot Noir, or of course a classic Champagne if that is more the ladies taste." The waiter, a young man, asked politely.

I noticed one arm was behind his back and the bottle of wine he held in the other was nestled securely in the crook of his arm. I wrinkled my face a little, I didn't really like wine and I was tired of sipping champagne.

"Perhaps the lady would care for something stronger. We have a fine selection of top shelf liquors if that is more your style," The waiter said pleasantly.

"Ummm, what would go well with dinner!" I asked.

The waiter smiled.

"The choice of entrees are a baked goat cheese and scallop pasta in a creamy white wine sauce with steamed broccoli and fresh baked garlic bread. Or prime rib made to order with sautéed mixed vegetables and baked potato, or fillet white fish with crab sauce, a stuffed crab shell, and mixed salad. The soup of the evening is a choice between a robust creamy sausage and potato, or a classic vegetable, or our chef's special take on New England Clam Chowder. The appetizers include shrimp cocktail and miniature cucumber and smoked salmon sandwiches. Of course as the date of Dr. Isles you may order whatever you wish!" The waiter bowed his head to me respectfully.

I giggled. I'd never heard of half the stuff that guy mentioned and what was a cucumber and smoked salmon sandwich? I looked at Maura and grinned devilishly. Maura returned an amused smile, I knew she realized I was about to ask for something ridiculous.

"I want the best cheeseburger you got...and french fries...I love french fries."

The waiter looked stunned for a moment before he smiled.

"The lady has excellent taste," he said bowing his head to me again. "Might I suggest a robust port wine to accompany your meal?"

I had no idea what the hell a port wine was. I looked at Maura who rolled her eyes slightly despite her amused smile.

"My girlfriend and I will have a seven and seven please," Maura said kindly to the waiter who bowed his head again and marched away.

"Yum cheeseburger!" I grinned at Maura whose face was split between amusement and disbelief.

"Wouldn't you rather have the prime rib? I had fresh Kobe beef flown in just for this event." Maura asked curiously.

"I've never eaten prime rib in my life. Besides...cheeseburgers are awesome!" I replied defiantly fixing Maura with my most determined expression.

Maura just sighed and rolled her eyes. I knew she wanted to argue further but she'd let me have my way tonight at least. Tomorrow, I knew I'd be eating baked fish and veggies again, but tonight I intended to enjoy myself.

Dinner was excellent, except for Constance Isles. The atmosphere was amazing, the entire courtyard was glowing with lantern light. The steady hum of crickets and chirping birds compliment the soft tones of the band's instruments. The scents of so many flowers filled the air and everyone seemed to be relaxed and content. Boisterous conversations were being had all around us, and laughter filled the air. I spoke animatedly with everyone at the table in between bites of salad that Maura made me order and my cheeseburger that was a huge mountain of deliciousness.

Many people approached us with big checks to donate to Maura's foundation and offer compliments to Maura for her charity work. Everyone seemed interested in complimenting me also; but I steered all conversation toward Maura. This was her night and I was here to be her cheerleader. I _had_ to be since her mother was such a freaking c-word! I learned so many things about Maura listening to all the guest rave about her. Apparently Maura worked in Africa for several years as a volunteer physician at a children's hospital. I never even knew that about her. Two men in sharp black suits approached us and spoke of Maura's work with the FBI as their assistant Chief Medical Examiner. One of the men kept hinting that they'd love to have her back; but Maura only smiled and expressed how happy she was with the BPD! A decorated soldier approached the table, a General I found out later. I learned from him that Maura had done work with the U.S. Army in Kuwait helping perform autopsies of locals and identifying soldiers who's bodies had been brutalized beyond recognition. I was floored by that. She'd worked in the most hostile of war zones apparently. The general told us all about how Maura helped organize their hospitals and trained nurses and doctors in more modern techniques. She'd even built a school for girls and sent donations of books and supplies every year.

"Maura you could have been killed!" I blurted out at one point.

The general chuckled at that and Maura flushed.

"Those soldiers loved Dr. Isles; any one of them would have laid down their life for her. The doctor was excellent for moral, they still talk about her over there!" the General's hard face smiled. It looked like a grimace, I don't think the man was used to smiling, but he seemed extremely fond of Maura.

The Saudi Prince fawned over Maura and made a huge donation to the Isles Foundation. I was more and more blown away the more I learned of Maura and what she'd done all over the world. I gazed at her in wonder and admiration.

Maura never talked about herself. Not once had I ever heard her toot her own horn and exclaim over her work and accomplishments. The more I learned of her the more humble and gracious Maura became in my eyes. Everyone at the table spoke nothing but praises about Maura who blushed and brushed off each and every compliment. Constance Isles said nothing however. She sat eating quietly and never once acknowledged her daughter or her many wonderful works. I know Maura noticed that too. I believed that to be the reason Maura seemed so shy and uncomfortable with all the attention and accolades. I felt myself growing angry again. Maura should be having the time of her life. She should have felt free to smile at least and speak of her work in detail. But she did very little of any of that. Maura latched on to my hand and barely spoke at all, looking more and more uncomfortable with every compliment and every moment her mother remained silent. With the steady flow of alcohol everyone else was in a very good mood and eyes were shining all around with intoxication. I felt slightly buzzed myself, but I wasn't drinking to be cheerful. I was drinking to drown my mounting frustration over Constance Isles' cool demeanor and the pain growing behind my girlfriend's eyes. I should have stopped drinking, but my fury was overcoming my rational sensibilities. If Constance wouldn't show Maura the respect she deserved than I'd do it myself. The alcohol was driving me to speak out.

"I didn't know you'd done all that stuff, Maura! You're a regular Mother Teresa!" I said loudly so everyone could hear.

I smiled at my girlfriend's flushing cheeks. At least Maura still had smiles for me despite the fact that she seemed almost miserable.

"You don't know the half of it. Maura could fill an encyclopedia with all her humane and relief efforts. Not to mention the other things she's accomplished career wise. Maura is a remarkable woman," Allison said kindly.

Everyone nodded their heads and smiled in turn, everyone except Constance. Maura looked like she wanted to speak but her eyes roamed over to her mother briefly and she hung her head and picked at her salad instead. I stabbed at my French fries angrily with my fork. Maura was making me eat my cheeseburger and French fries with a fork and knife. Something about even though I was eating baby food I still had to eat it like a lady. I'd rolled my eyes at that, but didn't argue. I didn't want to end up eating cucumber and smoked salmon sandwiches instead of my delicious cheeseburger. I'd eat the damn cheeseburger with chopsticks if it would make my girlfriend stop looking so sad. I decided to keep pushing the compliments.

"I had no idea you were such a great public speaker, Maura!" I smiled despite my frustration with Constance Isles.

Addison chimed in with her bright beautiful smile.

"That was a _wonderful _speech you gave, it moved me to tears." she said pleasantly.

I beamed at Addison who winked at me. I think she caught on to what I was trying to do for Maura. I couldn't have been more grateful for her support.

"You were _amazing_!" I added smiling proudly at my girlfriend.

Maura blushed and smiled back at me with loving eyes and pecked my lips lightly. I gushed and pinched Maura's thigh. She giggled and slapped my hand away.

"Later baby," She whispered in my ear.

It was my turn to blush. I couldn't _wait _for later! I was busy imagining all the possibilities 'later' had in store for me when Constance Isles spoke for the first time since dinner started.

"I'm always surprised when Maura makes it through a speech without making a fool of herself. When Maura was a child she had an awful stuttering problem. It wasn't worth even trying to speak to her because it took her forever to make a sentence and half the time it didn't make any sense. The kids would tease her at school and she'd cry every night and hide in her room. She never made friends...and who could blame the other children? Not that it mattered to Maura; she was far to busy playing with her science kits and dissecting dead frogs she bought from the pet store. She's always been better with the dead than with the living. I was worried she'd be a stuttering oaf forever but thank goodness for her nanny. Not that Maura's any better at making friends; she still prefers the dead over the living I'm afraid." Constance Isles said taking another bite of her potato and shrugging her shoulders.

Everyone went quiet and looked uncomfortable. I felt my face burning with anger. Maura looked pale and terrified. I saw her shoulders sag again and tears shining behind her eyes. It took everything I had not to explode at Constance. But making a scene would only embarrass Maura further and I couldn't do that to her. I squeezed Maura's hand tightly under the table and turned back to her. I wasn't going to let Constance win. Maura needed a champion and I was proud to be her knight in shining armor.

"No wonder you're so good at your work Maura. You've been a little genius all your life. I wish I'd had your brains when I was a kid, I'd be a lot better off now if I did!" I smiled at Maura. Maura never looked up from her plate. I could tell she was trying not to cry. My heart sank with sympathy watching Maura become so helpless and sad at her own event.

James, swimmy eyed with painkillers and wine, chimed in.

"Maura's never had any problem communicating with me! You should hear the way she screams at me sometimes. My partners are terrified of her and leave the office rather than try and argue. Maura can out argue anybody. If she weren't such a genius doctor and business woman I'd convince her to be a lawyer! Although she'd probably be held in contempt of court constantly. Maura would argue the judges to death if they tried to overturn her objections or motions. They'd get so tired of her they'd just throw her ass in jail!" James grinned lazily.

Everyone at the table chuckled with their mouths full of food. I smiled at James gratefully. I was thankful he was trying to stand up for Maura; even if he did look like he was three sheets to the wind. Maura looked terribly nervous I noticed from the corner of my eye. I reached for her hand again but Maura was smoothing her dress and suddenly looked a bit pale and sweaty.

Constance Isles paid the kind words no mind. She barreled on in her hateful manner despite the fact that everyone at the table looked like they wanted to be anywhere else in the world. If I didn't know any better I'd say everyone at the table was afraid of Constance Isles by the way they never looked at her or made any moves to defend Maura, except James. I had a sneaking suspicion he wouldn't have spoken up either if he wasn't so intoxicated. What power did the woman have to be allowed to carry on so shamelessly without challenge? What had Maura endured all her life to make her quake and cower around her mother instead of standing up for herself with pride and confidence?

"Maura might know textbooks well, but she's no genius." Constance chuckled.

"You remember that play in second grade don't you dear," Constance asked Maura.

"Yes mother...I-I remember," Maura whispered. I thought I noticed her hand trembling around her fork.

"Maura had a part in her second grade production of Annie. It was just one line but with that awful stutter of hers it was a wonder they didn't stick her in the back to build the set or something more appropriate. Anyway, when Maura's line came up she froze, it was terrible. Everyone in the audience started chuckling and whispering. Maura stuttered and stammered and everyone laughed. Then she actually urinated right there on stage. Oh it was awful...I'd just bought that dress from Paris and it was ruined after that. Maura ran off the stage crying, the play had to go into intermission to clean up the mess she made. It took the nanny two hours to find Maura hiding in a closet and talking to one of her dead frogs. Needless to say I never bothered showing up to another play again; not after what an embarrassment she was to me. I couldn't show my face in society for weeks after that. I flew to Germany instead and focused on my art." Constance said in such a tone you would think she was talking about the weather.

Everyone around the table was silent. The air around us was thick with uncertainty and disbelief. No one wanted to make eye contact with anyone else, especially not Maura. I had a mouthful of cheeseburger; but I'd forgotten to chew and my jaw was hanging open. I just could not _believe_ the nerve of Maura's mother. It was like she didn't care about her daughter at all. I thought about _my_ mother and what she would have done if something like that happened to me. My mother very likely would have screamed at everyone in the audience for laughing and carried me home in her arms, gave me a bath, fed me ice cream, sang to me and encouraged me not to give up and try again the next year. Besides, my brothers would have beat up anyone who tried to tease me at school the next day. Maura didn't have _any_ of that, no protective brothers, no loving mother, no one to encourage her or even care enough to find help for her. I found myself _hating_ Constance Isles. I looked at Maura and noticed the tears streaming down her cheeks. Her breath was shallow, her hands were trembling, and her head was bowed over her plate.

I couldn't stand it anymore. I couldn't sit there a moment longer and allow this to continue. I don't know what was wrong with everyone else and why they all looked so afraid and uncomfortable but I was feeling nothing but storming rage. Promises be _damned_. I would_ not_ let this hateful woman belittle by girlfriend a second longer regardless of the fact that she was Maura's mother. Fury ripped through me. Ice formed in my stomach and my eyes. My ears were ringing with the blood surging through my veins and my chest hurt from the rapid pumping of my heart. My hands trembled, I slammed my fork down on my plate and rounded on Constance.

"You hateful disgusting woman! How dare you mention that here. How dare you embarrass your own child like this in front of her friends and coworkers! I don't know who you think you are but Maura is ten times the woman you will ever be you little troll!" I spat at Constance.

My voice was laced with poison and hatred. Every fiber of my being emanated fury and disgust. Every jaw dropped. The silence around us was deafening. Eyes were wide and jaws were open and everyone at the table stared between me and Maura and her mother. I didn't care. I thought little of those seated around me without even the courage to stand up for their friend and employer. My eyes were all for Constance, and I knew they spoke volumes of hate. Maura looked like she wanted to die. Constance's face went blank and chilly. It seemed like she couldn't believe she had just been challenged. She looked like she didn't know what to say or do...I imagined Constance had never been spoken to in such a way before. I was happy to be the first and I'd do it over and over until she got the point and backed the hell of my girlfriend. But the woman recovered quickly. She even gave me a smile.

"Well, the little dog _does _have teeth! And I'll speak any way I please about my child. I keep thinking Maura will outgrow her childish awkwardness, but it seems she'll always be a helpless fool forever in need of a dog to save her. It's such a shame. They say adopted children are incapable of ever truly carrying the traits of their adopted families. Maura lacks the breeding necessary to be a better developed human being. A child of my own body would never have been such a simpleton in her youth or remained unwed and childless well into her thirties."

I was stunned into silence. I felt as if I'd been knocked silly. I could not have heard those horrible things coming from that woman's mouth. It felt like time had stopped and everyone was frozen in the moment; helpless to think of anything to do or say. I felt my heart breaking for Maura; but I gritted my teeth and sneered at Constance Isle. I'd had enough of this fucking dinner. I wasn't going to tolerate this any longer. If Constance insisted on behaving like a cunt she didn't deserve my company or Maura's.

I downed the rest of my seven and seven and slammed the glass on the table. I tried to reach for Maura's hand and take her away from this place but before I could Maura was on her feet. Her entire body was shaking, her face was pale, her mascara was running and tears dotted the top of her beautiful dress. I felt intense waves of hatred for Maura's mother flood my heart as I looked at my girlfriend sobbing in embarrassment. This was supposed to be her night, this was supposed to be one of her proudest moments. Maura was supposed to be shining and laughing and basking in the glow of the compliments that showered her. But Maura was none of that in the moment. She looked broken and defeated. She looked terrified and her eyes were full of pain. Her chest heaved; her breath was heavy and labored. My heart broke over and over again as Maura fell apart.

This was a nightmare, this was far worse than anything I could have imagined happening this evening. I wanted it to be _me_ standing there crying hysterically and not Maura. I wanted to trade places with her and take all the pain and the insults and spare Maura this horror. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and give her all my strength. I wanted to hold her heart in my hand, kiss it and drive the pain away. Maura was my angel, Maura was my hero, Maura was everything I wanted to be and everything I knew I didn't deserve. I _loved _that woman...I loved her more than I loved myself. I loved every piece of her, every word she spoke, every breath she took. My heart beat for her and my blood boiled for her. I _felt_ her pain. I felt it as real as any pain I'd ever experienced. My soul was tearing, my heart was breaking, my throat ached with the effort of holding in my tears.

"P-P-Please excuse me," Maura choked in a whisper.

I jumped from my chair and reached for Maura's hand but she spun away from me before I could take hold of her. Maura began sprinting away from the table sobbing full force; but blinded by her tears she ran right into a waiter carrying a full tray of drinks. She and the waiter started going down but the waiter in his panic reached out to Maura for balance. He grabbed hold of her dress instead tearing the dress from her shoulders and they both fell to the ground hard in a great crash of breaking glass and spilled drinks. The waiter had torn the entire front of Maura's dress off leaving her bare body exposed from the waist up. Maura lay sprawled on the ground in shock, she was covered in dirt and spilled drinks. Maura's hair was soaking wet, her breast were exposed, her skin was sticky with alcohol. In her shock and embarrassment Maura hadn't even realized she was naked from the waist up. The waiter _did_ notice and his face was pale and terrified; but he was to shocked to move or speak sprawled out on the ground as he was. I was so shocked and freaked out I thought I was going to have a heart attack.

I ripped my jacket from my shoulders and rushed toward Maura to cover her before everyone in the courtyard noticed her naked chest. I could hear the rushing footsteps of so many people running up to see what was going on. But before I could get to Maura she stood trembling and sobbing still not noticing her nakedness. The entire courtyard went silent. When people realized what was happening and saw Maura standing half-naked, covered in dirt, and dripping wet with spilled drinks the whispers started. Everyone at my table looked stunned and horrified. Even Constance Isles.

"Baby, put this on sweetheart," I whispered breathlessly. My eyes had tears of their own now. I was dying inside seeing Maura so vulnerable, exposed, and clueless to her condition.

Maura looked at me confused then looked down at her naked chest. My heart broke when the horrified look overcame Maura's beautiful face. Every inch of her skin went red with humiliation and my stomach dropped to my feet. That's when the chuckling started. It was coming from everywhere. It was all I could hear. Everyone was laughing all around us and Maura was trembling and sobbing hysterically. James, Addison, Allison, and I tried to reach for Maura but she wrapped her arms around her chest and ran toward the hotel in shame and embarrassment. The four of us ran after her. My mind was racing, my heart was pounding. I shoved people out of my way with no thought at all about how rough I was being. I had no thoughts beyond getting to Maura. I cared for nothing and no one else. I cursed and raged and screamed inside my head. Adrenaline pumped through my body. My fight instinct and need to protect my loved ones took over my senses. I was possessed with the need to save Maura from her shame.

I could barely see Maura running in front of me. She was weaving through the lobby of the hotel like a maniac. People were stopping to stare at her as she passed wide-eyed and horrified. James, Addison, and Allison were far behind me. James couldn't run in his condition, Addison and Allison could barely run in their dresses and heels. I thanked God I chose to wear the pant suit and comfortable shoes. I ran with all my might. I cared nothing for the stares that followed me or the whispers behind my back. I saw Maura burst through the front door of the hotel to the world outside. Where the hell was she going? I was almost at the doors when I collided into a very large man and was sent flying backward landing hard on my back. My head throbbed and my back ached but I willed myself back on my feet again. I saw one of Maura's shoes lying on the ground next to me forgotten. I don't know why but I grabbed the shoe and ran after Maura again furiously apologizing to the man I'd knocked over. My lungs burned, my heart pounded in my chest. I burst through the front doors. I looked around frantically trying to find Maura. There were people everywhere on the sidewalk outside. I panicked twice as hard when I couldn't seem to find Maura. Then I saw her...she was getting into her limo. The limo door closed and it sped off.

My heart dropped. I ran full force down the side-walk weaving in and out of people. I ran right out into the street pumping my arms and willing my legs to move faster.

"MAURA!" I screamed after the taxi.

I could barely breathe, my chest was heaving in an effort to supply my body with the oxygen it needed to sustain such a frantic pace. I was so close..._so _close...but the light ahead of us turned green and the limo sped off and out of my reach.

"**FUCK**!" I cursed at the top of my lungs.

A taxi screeched to a halt behind me its horn blaring in my ear. I spun around, eyes wide with panic. The taxi was inches from my body. Smoke and the smell of burning rubber was stinging my eyes and made me cough and choke.I could have just been killed. The taxi driver hung his head from the window and cursed loudly.

"What the _fuck_ do you think you're doing? Are you crazy or something? You wanna get run down in the streets?" the taxi driver raged at me.

I didn't think. I hopped in the taxi coughing and sputtering. I pulled a wad of money from my wallet and tossed it at the man.

"There's a black limo ahead of us, chase it down and don't let it out of your site!" I pleaded between gasping breaths.

I clutched Maura's heel to my chest. I had to get to my Cinderella!


	14. Cinderella Part 3

**A/N: So I read all your reviews, thank you to those faithful few that take the time to give me their ideas! I downplayed some of Maura's more disturbing drama in this chapter since you guys seemed to think I was going overboard with her. Anyway...I hope you enjoy the chapter. Please keep reviewing, I love your ideas. The next chapter is already written...it is the sex chapter so the rating will change to M. Expect that chapter up tomorrow or the next day...maybe even Friday. But it will be before the weekend so look out for it. Shout out MrJ726...I'll hit you up later today...I'm about to fall into a coma!**

**Jane**

I stared out the windshield from the back seat of the taxi in nervous desperation. We were flying down Madison Avenue. Maura's limo was weaving in and out of traffic and it was all my driver could do to stay behind it. Maura's limo was three cars ahead but at this point I was confident on where Maura was headed. She was going back to the apartment, but still I didn't want to lose her. Maura owned a million buildings in New York, most of which I didn't even know she owned and I couldn't risk Maura ending up somewhere other than the apartment. Maura had left her purse at the party and her cell phone was in the purse so I couldn't even call her. I clutched her one heel in my hands and prayed I could catch her. I knew Maura's state of mind was far from rational. I could only imagine what embarrassment she was feeling. Humiliation could compel people to do insane things. I was terrified for Maura. I had to get to her, I just _had_ to. I cursed myself over and over for not coming to her aid sooner. I'd just been so shocked and panicked I hadn't been able to move fast enough. All that motivated me now was a desperate need to get Maura someplace safe and hold her while she cried.

I felt tears streaming down my face. I was sobbing quietly but I couldn't let my emotions overtake me. I had to keep it together. Maura _needed_ me. I had to save her. I loved her! I'd do _anything_ for her. I'd trade places with her in a heartbeat if I could. I'd run through a crowd of millions naked as my nameday if it meant I could go back in time and prevent this horror from ever happening to her.

"Go _faster!_" I pleaded with the taxi driver.

"Lady...I'm twenty over the speed limit already! I can't go any _faster _than this!" the driver shot back at me.

I growled under my breath in frustration. I saw Maura's limo turn the corner onto our street and pull into the parking garage.

"In there..._go in there!_" I screamed at the driver.

He pulled up short outside the hotel.

"I can't lady...it's a private building, only approved cars can go in there! I can't get passed the gate, you'll have to go in the front!"

"The limo went in why can't _you _go in?" I raged at the driver.

"Whoever's the passenger in that car must have a special code to open the gate or something. If you aint got that code...we aint getting in that way!"

I rolled my eyes, threw more money at the driver and jumped out of his taxi running full speed toward the front of the hotel still clinging to Maura's shoe. My heart raced all the way up the elevator. I prayed Maura was in our apartment and not in some other room somewhere. The hotel was huge, she could be anywhere and she had an entire staff to do her bidding and hide her if that's what she wanted to do. I didn't blame her if she didn't want to be around me. I wouldn't want to be around anyone either if that happened to me. But I wasn't going to give up. Maura was my girlfriend now, it was my job to protect her and I failed at that too much already. The elevator doors opened to the apartment and I stepped out onto the marble floor quietly. I was listening for sounds of Maura. I hurried down the hallway and heard her sobbing in the guest room. My heart tripled its pace in my chest. I rushed to the door and knocked softly three times.

"Maura sweetheart, can you let me in?" I pleaded, trying not to choke on my own desperate tears.

I heard shuffling and then the door opened abruptly and Consuela stormed out and smacked me hard on the shoulder with her cane.

"What has _happened_ to Doctor? You do this to her?" Consuela screamed at me in a shrill high-pitched hysterical voice.

"JESUS!" I wailed holding my shoulder tightly and falling to my knees.

Pain surged through my shoulder and down my arm.

"It wasn't _me,_" I wailed through tears that were as much from physical pain as they were from emotional pain.

"Doctor half-naked, and crying like crazy! She covered in filth, hair messy, dress tore up! But you look FINE! What has happened? If you hurt her I _kill _you!" Consuela hissed.

Her eyes were wide with fury and her chest heaved in anger. I looked up at her and was actually afraid for a few moments she would kill me anyway. I'd never seen Consuela look so angry before, not even at Franklin Thomas. I could hear Maura's sobs all the way out in the hallway. I chanced standing to my feet holding my shoulder and hissing in pain. Franklin Thomas ran by and into the guest bedroom. I tried to chase after him but Consuela took a step back, put the end of her cane to my throat and pushed me back into the wall. I stood pressed against the wall with my arms up in surrender and choking a bit with the force of the pressure on my throat and the pain in my shoulder. I still clutched Maura's shoe in one hand for dear life.

"You tell me what happened...NOW!" Consuela's eyes were wild and dangerous, her voice low and seething.

I swallowed a painful lump in my throat. My mind raced trying to find words to say.

"I-I-I...I _love_ her Consuela! I'd never do _anything_ to hurt her! I'm trying to help her, she _needs _me! Her mother is...she's _awful_ Consuela! She embarrassed and humiliated Maura in front of _everyone!_ Everything went crazy, Maura tried to run away from her mother but...the thing with the dress was and _accident_! She ran into a waiter and he ripped it off of her trying not to fall! Everyone saw, it was terrible! _Please_ let me go to her! Please Consuela she's my girlfriend! I _love_ her!" I pleaded crumbling into uncontrollable sobs of my own.

Consuela studied me for a long while, her face never losing the hateful angry glare. Then finally she lowered her cane from my throat and sighed leaning heavily on the cane. She looked weary and exhausted.

"I love doctor too! Constance _always_ mean and unfriendly. You make dis betta now, she need you!" Consuela said shuffling away down the hallway toward the living room.

I took several deep breaths and ran into the guest bedroom. I found Maura on the floor in a corner cradling Franklin Thomas in her arms and sobbing into his soft curly fur. Maura looked terrible, she was missing her shoe, her dress was torn half off her body, her hair hung limp and damp with alcohol, her face was red and flushed, her eyes puffy and irritated with many tears. My heart melted with sympathy. Franklin Thomas was whimpering and licking the tears streaming down Maura's face. His ears were laid back and his heckles were up. I tried to approach Maura but Franklin Thomas turned and growled at me furiously. I stopped short for a moment, shocked by FT's demeanor. He was even showing me his sharp little puppy teeth in his growl. I smiled at FT and shushed him. I got down on my knees and petted his head gently calming his frazzled nerves.

Maura was so far gone in her misery she didn't even notice I was in the room. My heart exploded with love and longing. I swallowed the painful lump in my throat and willed the tears in my eyes not to fall. I couldn't cry right now, I _had _to be strong for Maura. But my heart felt like it was shredding into a million pieces watching Maura's entire body shake and tremble with the ferocity of her sobs. I wanted to wash away her pain. I wanted to wipe the memory of her humiliation and her mother's horrible words from her mind. I wanted to tell her how beautiful she was and that I didn't give a _fuck _what happened in the second grade or what happened tonight. I wanted to show Maura just how much I loved her, how much she _deserved _to be loved. I wanted to protect her most of all. I'll be damned if I ever let this happen again. If that meant I had to curse Constance to hell in front of God himself, I would do that! If that meant I had to punch people in the face that dared laugh at Maura and her shame, I'd do that. Maura was everything to me.

The pain in my chest was terrible. I brushed Maura's wet blond curls from her face with trembling fingers. Maura jumped when she felt my touch. Her eyes went wide when she finally noticed me and she turned away immediately burying her face in FT's fur.

"Jane go _away_," she wailed, trembling in her grief.

I sighed heavily. The lump in my throat was killing me. My chest felt like my heart was breaking over and over again. But I'll be damned if I was leaving Maura, not like this...not _ever!_ I loved her so much it frightened me. Seeing the woman I loved more than life its self in so much pain was ripping at my soul. I gritted my teeth and steeled my nerves. I pulled Franklin Thomas from her arms and set him aside.

"I am _not_ going anywhere! Talk to me Maura!" I pleaded with my girlfriend.

Maura's expression was nothing but pain. She put her hands over her face and cried in such a way I couldn't stand it. The sound was like nails on a chalkboard in the way that it ripped at the very core of me. Maura tried to scoot away from me but I tossed her shoe on the bed and grasped her firmly by the shoulders, locking her in my grip.

"Let go Jane...leave me ALONE! I don't ever want to _see_ you again. I just want to be alone!" Maura was crying so hard she was barely able to form words or breathe.

She struggled against me violently. I didn't let go of her. I held her firmly in my hands. I know she didn't mean what she was saying, I know she was consumed with anger and embarrassment and it was driving her mind into its darkest place. Franklin Thomas was running in circles, whimpering and crying at the scene playing out in front of him. I felt his little teeth latch onto my jacket and pull at it violently trying to tear me away from Maura. He wanted to protect her as much as I did. I let go of Maura just long enough to pick FT up and cradle him against my chest.

"It's ok buddy," I said kissing his head and smoothing his heckles. He licked at my face and whimpered. I set him on the bed where he lay with his ears perked up and his eyes trained on Maura. I grabbed Maura's shoulders again trying to calm her.

"I'm not going _anywhere_ Maura, I _love_ you!" I wailed desperately and with a broken heavy heart.

Seeing Maura is such a crazed state was killing me. I thought of how she must have felt when I fell apart in the hospital. It was a deep, helpless, mind-numbing despair. Maura covered her face again and sobbed rocking back and forth, shivering in her grief.

"Leave me _alone _Jane! I'm such an idiot, my mother_ hates_ me! She's right, I am weak and foolish. No one has ever loved me..."

"...That's not true...that's NOT true! People _do_ love you! Allison, Addison, James, Consuela, Albert, _and _Me...we _all_ love you! We all want to _help_ you. You are_ not _alone. I will _not_ leave you alone! I _love_ you Maura please..._please_ calm down!" I cried.

Hot tears streamed down my face and burned my flushed cheeks. My shoulder ached from Consuela's blow. But I would _not_ let go, I would _not_ run away. Maura stood by me in my deepest despair and I would do the same for her if it killed me.

"_Why_ do you love me Jane? _Why _did you come back here? _Why_ did you chase me? You should be ashamed of me, you should leave me like everyone else does!" Maura choked hysterically.

Her breath was so heavy and labored I was starting to worry. I tried to wrap my arms around Maura's body but she pushed at me and struggled against my attempts to comfort her. My heart was tearing to pieces and I couldn't hold in my tears. I felt helpless and hopeless when I heard Consuela's voice over my shoulder.

"**Maura**!" Consuela said in a loud bold voice. "You stop dis right now! You no silly little girl! You _strong_, you _smart_, you _pretty_, and _many_ people loving you! I not know what happened but I know you need stop crying and hiding NOW! Miss Jane here to help you, we _all_ here to help you. I know you long time and I know you betta that _dis!_ You calm down and listen to Miss Jane! I watch you suffer many long years, but you no need suffer no more. It time to get _up_, it time to be_ brave!_ I go get you new dress but you do this no more. It time to open eyes and see!" Consuela said.

I looked over my shoulder at the older woman leaning heavily on her cane. I was shocked by her forwardness and the frustration on her face; but I was thankful most of all. Maura's hysteria had lessened as Consuela raged at her and she'd stopped trying to beat me away. Maura's eyes still poured tears but she seemed stunned and immobilized. Consuela looked at me with a pained grimacing face before turning to shuffle back out of the room. I turned back to Maura and brushed her sticky hair from her wet face. Her eyes were glazed and unfocused, her lips trembled, her breath was heavy and labored. But her eyes met mine briefly and I gave her what I hoped was my most sincere and loving smile.

"Why won't you leave me?" Maura whispered so softly I could barely hear her words.

Her eyes were searching and her expression confused. I didn't understand why Maura kept asking me that. Why would she question my presence here? Why didn't she understand that I loved her and it was my duty to be here? How neglected was she all her life that she didn't understand the very basics of what love and affection truly were? Sorrow and heartache over came me. I was overwhelmed by just how damaged and broken Maura really was. Her exterior of strength and poise when I first met her was all just a joke. Inside Maura was lost, tormented, and broken. I wrapped Maura's face in both my hands and looked straight into her eyes.

"I'll _never _leave you Maura! I _love_ you!" I said kissing her lips hard before pulling away brushing my thumbs over her flushed hot cheeks.

"You _still_ love me...after all that just happened?" Maura asked curiously. Her face was frozen in shock. I smiled.

"Can I tell you a story?" I asked softly.

Maura's eyes were curious and wondering, but she nodded her head slightly. I kissed her lips again before I sat next to her. I pulled her body toward mine letting her rest her head in my lap. I covered Maura with my jacket and brushed my thumb over her cheek in steady gentle motions trying to calm and comfort her. With her head in my lap I felt just how much her body was trembling. Her entire form was wracked with pain and suffering. Every inch of her was emanating defeat and embarrassment and self loathing. I felt defeated myself seeing her in so much pain. I sighed heavily and began to speak softly as I brushed her cheek.

"When I was eleven years old I was really fat!" I whispered. "I was away at summer camp and my brothers were off at a different camp. I was all alone, and I was so awkward and ugly that summer. I had braces and acne and everybody called me roly poly Rizzolli. I didn't have any friends. No one wanted to talk to me or play with me. I was always off by myself or hiding from everyone else because they teased me mercilessly. I cried all the time that summer. I'd never felt so alone. I made this little paper mache doll in art class and I named it Peter after the boy I had a crush on at the camp. I used to talk to that doll at night in my bunk. I used to tell him I loved him and I'd pretend he loved me back. Anyway one of the other girls in my cabin heard me talking to the doll one night and told all the boys. Peter found out about it... and well..." I paused closing my eyes against the pain.

I hadn't thought about that horrible memory in years. It was one of the most awful things that had ever happened to me. I hadn't even told my mother or brothers about it. It was just to painful to think about. Even in that moment with Maura sobbing in a half torn dress, wrapped in my jacket, and crying in my lap; I still remembered that fat awkward kid at camp no one cared to know. I was so consumed with the memory I barely noticed that Maura's sobs had lessened. She rolled over to look up at me curiously through teary eyes.

"What happened?" Maura whispered softly.

I gazed down at Maura and smiled. I cradled her face in my hand and felt my heart swell with love. Even though her eye liner was running and her eyes were puffy and red and I'd never seen her look so sad before; Maura was still the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen.

"Peter sat with me at lunch one day. I was so excited I had butterflies and goosebumps. He talked to me, he told me he liked me and I thought I would _die._ He convinced me to sneak out of my cabin that night and meet him by the lake. I did! I was so excited; I thought I was going to get my first kiss from the boy I loved. I even put on make up that one of my cabin mates had. I felt so pretty walking to the lake. When I got there Peter met me and talked to me and was nice to me. I had stars in my eyes for him and my heart was fluttering the entire time. Then he told me he'd kiss me if I showed him my titts," I hung my head and sighed. Maura reached up and covered my hand on her face with her own. I noticed she wasn't crying anymore; she was enraptured by my story.

"What happened?"

I closed my eyes against the memory of all the pain and hurt from that summer.

"I did it, I took of my shirt and showed him my titts. I just wanted to kiss him. I didn't _know_ any better, I was such a lovesick _idiot_. But as soon as I took off my training bra all the boys from his cabin jumped out the bushes and started laughing and taking pictures and teasing me. I was so embarrassed I thought I was going to die. I tried to grab my shirt but Peter snatched it out of my hands and pushed me into the lake. The boys danced around the lake with my bra and called me brace face and ugly duckling and fatty paddy and everything awful under the sun. Peter teased me the loudest and the hardest. My heart was so broken I just wanted to drown myself in the water. I had to climb out of the lake and run all the way back to my cabin with my arms over my chest and barely able to see through all the tears. I fell three times on the way back, by the time I got to the cabin I was covered in mud and grass and had a million mosquito bites. Worse the boys kept my bra! I cried all the rest of the night and every night after that. The boys hung up my bra in their cabin and everyone at camp heard about it the next day. If I thought camp was bad before, it was _nothing_ compared to what it was after the thing at the lake." I sighed heavily.

Maura looked up at me in horror.

"Oh my GOD! Jane that's _awful_. What did you do? Did you call your mom to pick you up and take you home?"

I smiled painfully as I shook my head.

"No! I stayed. I faced my nightmare and I stayed. It was awful and I hated every second of it...but I didn't want my brothers to think I was weak or have to tell my mother what happened to me. I didn't want my mother to be sad too! I also didn't want to give those asshole boys the satisfaction of running away. So I stayed. And the next summer I went back. I'd shed all my baby fat, grew five inches, my acne cleared up and I was pretty hot. That same boy Peter was there again. That summer _he _was the one fawning over _me_ and trying to get me to go out with him!" I chuckled.

Maura sat up and wrapped my jacket tightly around her as she snuggled into my side. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and pulled her into me kissing her lightly on the top of her head.

"Did you go out with him?" Maura asked, her eyes sparkling with curiosity. I laughed.

"I caught him behind a cabin one day and kicked his ass. The point is people are cruel and awful sometimes. We all have bad memories, we all go through things; but it's what you do when the bad shit happens that defines who you are. You remember that thing you told me about strength the first time we met...what was it?"

A look of the deepest wonder played across Maura's face. Her eyes sparkled. Her lips formed the slightest but sweetest smile.

"Character is what is built in the face of great adversity, strength is what is found to overcome your challenges, love is felt most keenly after suffering tremendous pain...you remember that?" She asked me curiously.

"The question is do _you_ remember that? Are you going to stand by your words? You might have had a shitty second grade play, but you have become one of the strongest, most beautiful, incredibly accomplished, amazing people I've ever met. And it might seem like you'll never get over that business with the dress and all, but you can't run away. If you don't go back there tonight, if you don't face those people with your head held high, you'll spend the rest of your life running from it and regretting it. Now is the time to show your character and be strong, if for no other reason than because I love you and I believe in you!" I eyed Maura sincerely.

Maura's eyes lowered and she looked away from me.

"I'm not you Jane, I can't face those people ever again!"

"You don't have a choice. You will run into them eventually somewhere, what are you going to do run and hide every time you see anybody from the party? Some of those people work for you! Some of those people own shares in your company! You can't duck and dodge this, you can't hide in here and never come out again!Those people are going to gossip anyway, but at least you can make sure they have no choice but to mention that you came back. That you stood in front of them with courage and confidence despite what happened. You can show them what true character is and they will be in awe of you...just like I am!"

"I can't go back there Jane, I'm to ashamed! I made a fool of myself again, I'm such an idiot!" Maura said barely loud enough to be heard.

"Let's get one thing straight, you did _not _make a fool of yourself. That was an accident. If anyone is to blame, it's your mother! And you are not an _idiot._ Those people back at that party might think a lot of things right now, but none of those things involve you being an idiot. When you walk back out in the courtyard all anyone will be able to think is how brave you are, and how stunning you look, and how much they admire you because they know they'd _never _have the courage to face their humiliation the way you are going to." I smiled at Maura.

She looked at me incredulously.

"Jane...half of New York saw my breast!" Maura wailed. She moaned and curled into me resting her head on my shoulder.

I just chuckled and ran my hands through her sticky wet hair and kissed her forehead.

"Baby...you have awesome titts! All those guys and some of the women will dream about them tonight...just like me!" I whispered in Maura's ear.

I felt Maura laughing in my arms. I smiled.

"You're very brave Jane. I wish I was like you," Maura sighed.

I rolled my eyes.

"I wish I was like _you!"_ I countered.

"I'm not that great. You heard my mother, I'm not even worthy of being an Isles!" Maura said sadly.

I rolled my eyes again.

"Maura, you're amazing! You've done_ so_ many amazing things. You've accomplished more already than most people could ever _dream _of and you're still young...and _sexy_!" I teased planting several kisses on Maura's cheek.

Maura giggled and tried to wiggle out of my grasp. I held her tight and cooed in her ear.

"Your mother _wishes_ she was you, she wishes she was as intelligent and accomplished as you. Whatever her problem is with expressing her love for you...you must understand that it's _her _problem, not yours. You're ten times the woman she'll ever be without even trying, and I love you Maura Isles!" I said leaning my fore head against Maura's and sighing softly.

Maura kissed me softly and brushed my cheek.

"Why are you so good to me Jane? No one has ever stood up to my mother before, I couldn't believe how strong and confident you were in front of her."

I smiled, "I'll tell Satan himself to suck it if he messes with you! Besides you're my _girl,_ I'll do anything for you!"

Tears streamed down Maura's face but I quickly moved to brush them away. I wanted to see no more tears tonight, or ever if I could help it.

"I need one thing from you tonight," I said sincerely

"What is it?" she whispered.

"I need you to clean up, change clothes, and come back with me to the event. I want you to walk back out there with your head held high and stand up for yourself if your mother comes at you again. She only treats you that way because you let her and I _know _you are stronger than that...I _know_ you are I've seen it myself! I know she's your mom and you love her...but she doesn't get to treat you like this anymore; you deserve better! You have to _demand _better! She will never respect you until to take a stand and I'll be right there to back you up."

Maura and I just stared at each other for long moments. There was fear and doubt behind Maura's eyes that I hated seeing. I pulled Maura's hands to my lips and kissed them tenderly.

"My mother will just hurt me more if I try and fight back..."

"...No she wont. You have to do this...you _have_ to try. _Please_ Maura, I can't see you like this again, it _kills_ me! Besides, by now everyone has heard what happened and why you crashed into that waiter. Constance's reputation is far more damaged than yours at this point. You get to play the sympathy card...she's just a cunt and everybody knows it!" I smiled.

"Jane she's my mother, you can't talk about her like that." Maura said looking me square in the eye.

I studied her for many long moments.

"You are ten times the woman you mother will ever be. Even now you defend her when all she does is tear you down!" I sighed and kissed Maura's lips softly.

Maura and I kissed for long minutes. I closed my eyes, I felt the heat rise in my body. I felt my body tremble and my heart flutter. I felt my thighs moisten and quiver. I felt my skin explode with goosebumps. I heard Maura moan softly into my mouth. Maura pulled away from me abruptly and fixed me with her most devilish grin.

"Do I get a prize if I go back?" Maura asked in that crazy sexy voice she got sometimes when she was looking at me with those heavy burning eyes.

"_I'm _your prize," I giggled.

Maura laughed.

"I want to unwrap my prize tonight!" Maura whispered in my ear. My core caught fire and my juices leaked out of me. There could be no denying what she meant by that. I felt my insides squirm.

"I'm ready to be unwrapped," I mumbled breathlessly.

By the time we made it back to the hotel over an hour and a half had passed and dinner was over. The dancing was in full swing. Maura had showered at the speed of light, styled her hair in a bun, and dressed in a shorter lighter gown than the last. She was still gorgeous though. I'd tried to get frisky with Maura before we left the apartment but she pushed me away and scolded me again for being a distraction. I pouted, but I was proud of Maura. Her confidence was back full swing and she seemed determined to see herself through this nightmare. Maura was dragged to the bathroom by Addison and Allison as soon as we walked out onto the courtyard and I was left standing alone. I looked around and spotted Constance Isles dancing with an older silver-haired man. I ignored the Saudi Prince calling out to me and all the curious stares and soft whispers behind my back. I straightened my suit jacket and marched into the dance area and straight toward Maura's evil mother. My steps were heavy and filled with purpose. My jaw was set and my hands were clenched in tight fist at my side. I weaved through the people dancing around me and stopped right next to Constance and her dance partner. The man noticed me first and stopped short, Constance looked at me bewildered.

"Jane, what are you doing? I thought you left!" she asked curiously.

I smiled and bowed my head at the silver-haired man.

"Excuse me sir, may I have this dance with the lady?" I asked as politely as I could.

The mans eyes went wide and his face looked stunned but he backed away and I swept Constance in my arms. I was a wonderful dancer, between my years of ballet as a child, my mother's idea and not mine, and my years on a pole I had perfect rhythm and surprising grace. I twirled around the dance floor with Constance Isles for several minutes leading her in and out of dips and fancy steps before finally pulling her tight against my body. I wrapped my arm firmly around her waist locking her body against mine.

"Well well Miss Rizzolli, you are quite the dancer." Constance complimented looking up at me curiously.

I tried to smile at her.

"You were right you know," I said bending her into another low dip.

I pulled Constance up roughly and back into my arms. She was breathless and confused by my aggression.

"I was right about what?" the older woman inquired.

I looked deep into her eyes. Constance had the same fine features, subtle grace, and poise as her daughter. Constance was still beautiful, I imagined Maura would hold her beauty the same way as her mother long into her aging years. But I did not see the same sweet innocence in her mother's eyes as I saw in Maura's most of the time. Looking closely at the woman, I saw a shadow there, a lingering pain that had probably been there for a long time. Still I felt no pity for the woman. I felt only anger and frustration at the way she treated my girlfriend. I'd pushed Maura to be strong, but I would do my part to pave the way.

"I_ am_ protective, especially about those I love." I said bluntly glaring intensely into Constance's eyes.

"And do you have teeth also Miss Rizzolli?" the older woman asked not even flinching under my gaze.

"Maura made me promise to behave, lucky for you! But I _will _catch you alone and show you my teeth if you _ever_ embarrass her like that again!" I hissed. "Other people might be afraid of you; I don't know why. I think you're a coward and a fool! But I am not afraid of you woman!"

I leaned in and nestled my mouth against her ear, "I'll sink my teeth into your throat if you ever treat my girlfriend like that again!" I whispered right into her ear.

The woman's eyes went wide for a few seconds before softening into a smile.

"I see why Maura likes you, you're very direct...and you're not intimidated by me. I think I like you Miss Rizzolli!" Constance smiled at me.

I rolled my eyes.

"I don't think much of _you_! You can _hate_ me as far as I'm concerned! What happened earlier is beyond me. I can't believe you're still here. You should be cowering in a hole somewhere where you belong after the humiliation you caused Maura! By now everyone knows what you said to her, you're a pariah and people see you for what you are no matter how much you try and pretend you're something different. I bet everyone is just glad they're fortunate enough to not have an awful, insecure, wretch of a mother like you! I want to know something and I want you to be honest."

Constance looked stunned and hurt by my words. I saw the concern and panic in her eyes. I heard her breath quicken and her hands became moist with sweat. But her voice remained steady and unaffected. It must have been years of practice that enabled her to keep a smile on her face in the midst of her pain.

"What's that Jane?" Constance asked as I led her through another series of fancy ball room steps.

"_Why_ do you hate Maura?"

Constance looked at me like she couldn't understand what I was saying.

"Whatever do you mean?"

I rolled my eyes.

"You know what I mean! Don't play dumb with me, I know you're not stupid so cut the crap! Why do you treat Maura so badly? How could you embarrass her like that in front of her friends and employees? What the hell is _wrong_ with you?"

Constance looked taken aback and hurt. I felt her trying to pull away from me but I held her firm and crushed her body against mine glaring down at her with all the hatred I felt for her at that dinner table.

"Jane you're hurting me!"

"_Answer_ my question!" I hissed dangerously at the woman.

I was in no mood for games. Constance turned her eyes away from mine and looked over my shoulder with a distant pained expression.

"I was never any good at motherhood. My mother treated me terribly as a child if she was ever around at all. I'm afraid I am no different than her. I keep my distance because I don't understand Maura. I never have, she's always been beyond me, above me even. I don't know how to love her..."

"...**TRY**!" I spat at Constance viciously. I would spare no more kind words for the woman. She didn't deserve them anyway! I was here to make a stand for Maura and I'd stand tall as a giant if I had to. Constance Isles didn't scare me anymore; to me she was disgusting and I hated her beyond belief. Even still, she was Maura's mother so I had to at least try and impress upon her the error of her ways.

_"Try _loving her! It's easy! Maura is the most wonder person I've ever met. She's sweet and kind...well most of the time...and she's smart and generous and beautiful. She treats my daughter like a little princess, she's a wonderful mother figure despite how shitty _you_ seem to be! I'm blessed to have Maura in my life and if you can't treat her the way she deserves to be treated, if you can't see Maura for all the wonderful she is, then I feel _sorry_ for you. You should be _proud _of her, you should _encourage _her and _call_ her sometimes. Stop neglecting her half the time and humiliating her the rest. If you can't love her, at least have the decency to show her the respect she deserves. What you said about her not being an Isles because she's adopted; I told her you were wrong and she was a far better Isles than you'd ever be. I only said that because it's what she needed to hear. But in truth, if _you_ are what the name Isles represents I'm so glad Maura doesn't take after you. I don't _want_ her to be an Isles, I don't _want_ her to be a disgusting, miserable, hateful, horrible woman whose only way of feeling powerful is by bringing others down. Maura _is _above you, she _is_ beyond you and she always will be!" I said holding the older woman's body so tightly my injured shoulder throbbed and my arms were starting to hurt. Maura tried to use my injured shoulder as an excuse to not come back to the party, insisting in needed rest and ice and her to look after me. But I'd brushed her off and insisted I was fine despite the throbbing running all the way down to my finger tips.

Constance looked terrified, then there were tears behind her eyes.

"Maura is very lucky to have someone to stand up for her so passionately. My husband never bothered to stand up to my mother or father. I'm sure he's off somewhere with one of his mistresses spending my families money on her. Maybe if I'd had someone like you I wouldn't be such an awful person." Constance looked weak in that moment. Her lips trembled and her eyes were shining with tears. I sighed heavily and loosed my grip some.

"It's not to late to try and be better. You can always say I'm sorry. Maura will forgive you, she's good like that and she loves you! But no more excuses, tell her you love her before it's to late. She's your only child. You don't want to be all alone when you die do you?" I asked arching my eye brows and fixing Constance with my most steady gaze.

"I will try..." Constance started but I dropped her arms and left her standing alone on the dance floor.

I didn't care to hear her voice anymore, and didn't care about her sob story or her excuses. The only words I wanted to hear from her were an apology to my girlfriend and maybe even a compliment for Maura if miracles really did happen. I stalked off the dance floor and snatched a glass of champagne from the tray of a passing waiter. I downed it in three gulps

"Jane come dance with me..." Addison said running up to me grabbing my hand and leading me to the dance floor. I went without an argument. I needed the distraction from my fury and frustration.

**Maura**

I couldn't seem to get back to Jane. I'd spent ten minutes in the bathroom with Addison and Allison trying to assure them I was ok. Neither of them seemed particularly convinced and were surprised I'd returned at all. I was surprised to be here again also; but I wanted to be strong for Jane. I wanted to be strong _like _Jane! I couldn't believe that awful story Jane told me about her experience at summer camp so long ago. But I was in awe that Jane handled it so well. If something like this happened to me when I was that age I don't think I would ever have recovered from it. Jane was amazing and strong and proud. I wanted to show my girlfriend that I could stand up for myself too and that I _wasn't_ weak and helpless. But as soon as I managed to hustle Addison and Allison back to the courtyard people came from every direction to speak to me and offer donations and ask questions about everything under the sun.

Allison took the lead quickly and the two of us circled through the crowd accepting donations and chatting pleasantly with each group of people. Actually Allison did most of the talking. My mind was elsewhere. I wanted to get to Jane. I wanted to feel her arms around me and see her encouraging smile. I wanted to dance with her and hear her laugh at her own silly jokes and lean my head on her shoulder as we danced the night away. I wanted to sneak her off into the gardens and kiss her again. I was really thinking about having my way with her. I'd actually packed a bag of things at the apartment and ordered the concierge to deliver it to my room here within the hour. I wanted to get Jane alone so she would be comfortable. I knew Jane would be far to nervous to relax at the apartment with Consuela there. I wanted our first experience to be absent unnecessary hindrances. I wanted to talk to Jane about my plans but I just couldn't seem to spot her in the crowd of people. Not that I could get away from Allison anyway. The woman wouldn't let go of my wrist and I didn't want to be rude. Most people seemed to be well into the alcohol at this point and the event was quickly turning a bit raucous and boisterous like it always did around this hour. It only made me wish for Jane more. I wanted to feel her arms around my shoulder and sway the sideways looks I was getting from men with that glare she got in her eyes sometimes. I kept feeling like people were looking at my chest. I felt bare and stripped down without Jane next to me.

People kept asking me about Jane and my relationship with her. I told them all firmly that Jane was my girlfriend but I left it at that. I didn't want to answer all their other prying questions, I knew there would be gossip but I didn't care. This event would go down in the books. It was the first time I had a date, my bare breast were exposed to everyone, and I ran out of the building crying like a little girl. Somehow though I felt strong inside. Stronger than I'd ever felt before. I knew it had something to do with Jane; but I liked it. I wasn't even concerned about the gossip. Jane could handle it and I'd protect her from the bad things if they came. But I really wished I could at least _find _her.

Eventually I did spot her through a crowd of people. She was dancing with Sherri who was laughing excitedly in her arms. I felt a surge of fury rip through me. I'd always hated Sherri and she hated me. Sherri always got the boys in school, she always got the dates to the dance, the invites to the parties, prom queen, most likely to succeed, student body president, mother of three children...Sherri always got _everything_. And boy didn't she know how to throw it in my face. I'd always cowered in front of Sherri before, I'd always felt less than and insignificant compared to her. But not tonight, especially not in this moment. Sherri could have everything else, but she could _not _have Jane. Jane was mine now..._officially_ mine! I did not share...not ever...! Sherri might have everything else but Jane was worth ten prom queen crowns and a million party invitations.

I felt my hands form into fist and my chest tighten in fury. I didn't hear that someone was speaking to me. The rest of the world and everything around me had fallen away and all I could see was Sherri dancing in the arms of Jane. My mind exploded with jealousy and rage when Blair cut in, pushed Sherri away, and started dancing with Jane instead. I could see Jane smiling as she led Blair around the dance floor in a graceful waltz. I didn't even know Jane could dance so well. She was supposed to be dancing with me anyway. Those girls had everything in school, and teased me mercilessly all my life for never getting married or ever having a date. Now they were falling all over themselves and each other to be near _my _girlfriend. I was seeing red.

"Maura, what's wrong?" Allison asked pulling me aside and staring at me curiously.

I must have shown all my emotions on my face because Allison looked like she was near a panic as she stared at me.

"See to it that Dr. Montgomery and Albert get home safely when they are ready to leave. Jane and I and going to have to leave. Please make my excuses," I tried to pull out of Allison's grip but the woman pulled me back roughly.

"It's _your_ charity! We've been planning this for _seven months_! You can't leave now! What's wrong?" she hissed at me.

I looked back at Jane who was now dancing with Michaela. A furious growl escaped my throat. Allison followed my gaze and her eyes lit up with understanding.

"Don't make a _scene_ Maura and don't _leave_. You've had enough drama for one evening!" Allison raged through gritted teeth.

"That's your girlfriend; go up there and dance with her yourself. If you storm out of here those girls will know they got to you and they'll gossip about it forever. Is that what you want on top of everything else that's happened this evening? Go up there, kick them out the way, and dance with your girlfriend right in front of all of them. Jane will forget they ever existed when you're back in her arms. She ran after you like a bat out of hell earlier. I see the way she looks at you. That woman _adores_ you, she thinks you walk on water now go on...suck it up! Go get your girl!" Allison pushed me toward the dance floor.

I took a deep breath, steadied my nerves, smoothed my dress and made my way to the dance floor. I was almost there when my mother stepped in front of me blocking my path. My heart sank.

"Maura, may I speak with you privately?" Mother asked.

I rolled my eyes. Jane told me to be strong and I intended to be, starting right now!

"No mother! I'm not in the mood to be ridiculed and embarrassed any more tonight. Save it for another time I'm busy!" I said trying to push past my mother but she took two steps back and blocked my path again.

"I just want to say...I'll be staying at the home in the Hamptons next weekend and I would like it if you and Jane joined me." Mother said smiling at me.

I was taken aback. What had gotten into_ her?_ Mother never invited me anywhere, not even for holidays! I was lucky if I got a birthday card. Now she was inviting me to the Hamptons for the weekend right after humiliating me like I'd never been humiliated before, and I was no stranger to embarrassment! I stuttered for a few moments then quickly stopped. I didn't want to be that blubbering foolish child I was in second grade again. I set my jaw and lifted my chin.

"Angela is coming home from the hospital Friday and I don't know if I'll feel comfortable taking her on a road trip...or bringing her around _you_ for that matter." I added the last bit spitefully.

My mother's face fell and she seemed peevish and taken aback.

"Well of course I'll have Walter bring out your old baby things from the attic if you come. I'd like to meet Jane's daughter, and I'd like to spend some time with you." My mother said shyly.

I actually took three steps back and looked her over frowning. I had to make sure it was really _my_ mother standing in front of me and not some mirage or alien life form that had inhabited my mother's body. My mother looked the same, but she was acting terribly strangely.

"Are you ok? What happened to me not being good enough to be an Isles? Now you're inviting me and my girlfriend out to the Hamptons for the weekend?" I asked incredulously.

My mother's eyes lowered.

"It was wrong of me to say that. Please accept my apology. Will you come? It would mean the world to me!"

I rolled my eyes.

"You can't treat me like this anymore. You can't embarrass me and then say you're sorry and expect me to all of a sudden want to spend time with you when you've never shown an interest in spending time with me before. I'm not going to be weak anymore, I'm taking a stand _right _here and _right _now. You are _horrible_ to me, always have been, and I've only done everything I can to please you. But it's never good enough is it? You will always _hate_ me." I hissed at my mother.

Anger was over taking me. Years of abuse and neglect were fueling my rage. I had to greet my teeth tightly to keep from screaming. I was furious with my mother but I didn't want to be the center of any more public drama. My mother's eyes shined with tears and her face was tight and crestfallen.

"I know I've been unfair to you...but please allow me the chance to make it up to you. I can't change the past, but I can do better by you now. Please join me in the Hamptons, we could...we could all have fun together!" My mother said nervously.

My face must have looked as stunned and shocked as I felt. I didn't know what to think or what to make of the whole thing. I wasn't about to commit though.

"I'll talk to Jane and email you if she wants to go...but I wouldn't count on it." I said honestly.

It was true..I couldn't imagine Jane wanting to spend any more time with my mother than she absolutely had to.

"Oh please do just call, I'm always available for you!"

"Since **WHEN!**" I blurted out a little bit to loudly. I blushed when all the heads around us turned and looked towards my mother and I.

My mother was blushing too, I couldn't believe it. What was going on? I didn't have time to focus however because Jane was now dancing with another woman I didn't even know. I felt the heat rise in my face again. I mother turned and saw Jane dancing with the woman and scoffed. I rolled my eyes. I steeled myself for whatever mean thing my mother was sure to say about Jane. I was more than ready to jump to Jane's defense. Jane had called my mother a disgusting troll after all. I couldn't scold Jane for that, she'd only been standing up for me when I was to weak to do it myself. I know what the compulsion to protect someone you loved could do to you. I'd made a fool of myself raging at Claire in the hospital trying to protect Jane. But I still wouldn't let the bad blood between Jane and my mother go any further. My mother could say whatever she wanted about me, but I wouldn't tolerate her putting down my girlfriend, not ever! But the insults never came.

"That's been happening all evening," My mother giggled. "I think that's the seventh woman that's found their way into Jane's arms. They're fighting over her and making fools of themself, the silly little girls! Everyone here can see Jane only has eyes for you." my mother smirked.

I stared at my mother with my mouth open and my face no doubt scrunched up in some expression of disbelief. My mother noticed my face and smiled at me.

"Close your mouth dear you don't want to look like a simpleton in front of your lady's suitors. No go on, pull yourself together and claim you prize." Mother said turning back to look at Jane.

"Jane _is_ quite dashing! And she cares about you deeply. I'm happy for you Maura...you deserve it!" my mother said kindly before turning and walking away.

I felt like I'd been hit in the face with a ton of bricks. Who was that woman and what had she done with my mother? I was stuck on the spot trying to work out the strange turn of events when Jane shuffled up to me bright-eyed and smiling.

"Wanna dance with me Maura? I'm trying to get away from all these girls, they won't leave me alone!" Jane said frowning over her shoulder.

I smiled and wrapped Jane in my arms, pulling her into my body and kissing her passionately. Jane seemed stunned at first, then she opened up for me and let me kiss her the way I wanted. I paid no attention to the whispers and stares all around us. Jane seemed lost in the kiss and so was I. I was kissing my girlfriend and I'd kiss her as I liked for however long I damn well pleased in front of whomever; stares and whispers be damned. Jane was starry-eyed and grinning foolishly when I finally released her from the kiss. I looked over her shoulder and noticed many women that had been dancing with Jane earlier looking at the two of us with hateful pouts and sagging shoulders. I smiled from ear to ear as I led my girlfriend to the dance floor amongst the curious stares of many faces. Jane took me in her arms and danced with a renewed vigor and perfect grace. She never stopped smiling at me and I never stopped blushing in her arms. No one even dared to try and cut in on us. Jane's eyes were trained on me and mine on her. We danced all night, only taking short breaks to catch our breath and chat with Albert and Addison and James and random others that wandered over to us. Jane didn't leave my side again. It seemed everyone wanted to speak with her though. I smiled at her all night and basked in the glow she was giving off. I fell into her every time Jane wrapped her arm around my body, and I blushed like a school girl every time Jane called me her girlfriend. By the last dance of the night I was exhausted, but I was so in love with Jane my heart was melting all over the dance floor. The last dance was a slow dance and Jane held me tightly against her by my waist. I had my arms wrapped around her neck and I gazed lovingly into her eyes. The music was soft and sweet like Jane's eyes and I sighed with each light kiss Jane planted on my trembling lips. I felt Jane's hand ease up my side and cup my breast. I giggled and swatted her hand away.

"Jane, people will _see!_" I whined at her.

Jane only grinned wickedly.

"I've been a good girl all night...lets get out of here and you know...get to _know_ each other!" Jane's face split in half with her silly devilish grin.

I giggled and kissed her again.

"I have a room here if you'd like to stay the night. No one to bother us, no interruptions, no Franklin Thomas...just you and me!"

Jane's eyes lit up like wild-fire.

"What are we still doing here?" Jane said sweeping me off my feet and into her arms hustling me toward the hotel.

I giggled all the way to our room.


	15. Little Princess Pt 1

**A/N: I am so sorry this is so long...but it's their first time and it had to be epic. So epic in fact that it's going to be a two part experience...this is part one. I'm leaving for vacation tomorrow...so you won't get anymore updates for a week or so! I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please review...I want your ideas and thoughts for the next chapter and how I can make it better. You guys be da best...and with all that being said...here we go! **

**Jane**

I stared at myself in the mirror in the huge ridiculous bathroom of Maura's hotel room. It wasn't really a hotel room. It was more like a hotel apartment. It wasn't as large as our apartment at Maura's hotel on Madison Avenue, but it was still insanely huge. My idea of a hotel room was the Holiday Inn; a bed, a TV, if you were lucky you got cable, a shower and a sink. This place was; well it was Maura's hotel so what did I expect? Even with all I'd come to expect in the short time I'd known Maura, I don't think I could ever get used to her lifestyle. Maura packed a bag and had it delivered here without me even knowing. I stared at the clothes Maura packed for me. There were my little black boys cut boxers, my not to flattering bra, and my favorite pair of cotton pajamas with the Red Sox logo all over them. I sighed. Maura bought me so many nicer things than this, but I'd had the Red Sox pajama's for years. They were one of the few articles of clothing I owned from before that hadn't magically disappeared when I was away from the apartment.

I smiled thinking of Maura. She packed these things because she knew how I felt most comfortable. The hint was as plain as day; Maura wanted me to be comfortable with her. She was saying that she knew me, understood me, and accepted me as I was; boys cut underwear, cotton pajama's and all. It touched my heart that Maura knew me so well, but at the same time...I wanted something different. I wanted to be sexy, I wanted _Maura _to think I was sexy. I thought of what Albert told me before we left the apartment earlier. He said Maura liked heels and sexy lingerie. I _wanted _to be sexy. I looked at myself in the mirror again. I'd just stepped from the shower a few minutes earlier and I was naked, my hair wet, and my body shivering slightly from the cool temperature of the room. I'd washed away my makeup and my bruised face was all I could see. I studied the bruise and wanted to cry. There was nothing less sexy than that. Every time Maura looked at the bruise she flinched and turned her head. It made me sad every time she did that. I loved when Maura would let her eyes linger on my face or my body sometimes when we were around the apartment and she didn't think I noticed. But since my eye got bruised Maura rarely looked at my face without makeup. I wanted to be beautiful to her again. I wanted her to look at me in that way that made her face light up and her cheeks dimple in that perfect smile. I wanted to feel her body on top of mine and look right into her eyes and know she would look right back into mine. I wanted to please her, but how could I in cotton pajama's with a busted face?

I looked at my body in the mirror. I was so skinny, my breast were so small. I cupped my breast in my hands and sighed again; I _hated_ my tiny breast. I wished they were full and sexy like Maura's. I knew Maura was waiting for me in the bedroom. I told her I wouldn't be long. But I couldn't bring myself to move. I looked at the pajama's again and frowned. I wanted to be _sexy._ I wrapped my body in a soft Egyptian cotton towel and brushed my wet curls from my face. My bruised eye made me want to cry again; maybe I could sneak some of Maura's makeup and cover it.

I padded to the bathroom door and opened it slowly. I poked my head out and looked around the beautiful bedroom for Maura. She wasn't there. I smiled and tiptoed toward Maura's purse. I know she kept makeup in there. If I could just get to it. I sat on the bed and willed myself to dig around the purse for what I needed. I spotted it. I grabbed the makeup and eye liner and tossed the purse on the nightstand.

"_Yes,_" I thought to myself triumphantly.

I stood to head back to the bathroom when Maura called to me.

"Hello little princess," Maura's voice sounded in my ear.

I stopped short, my body cringed, my face wrinkled. I turned around and tried to hide the makeup behind my back. I laughed nervously at Maura; then I stopped laughing completely and my face went slack and dumb. Maura was standing in the doorway in a short...a _very _very short tight black dress. The dress was some kind of lace or something and left very little to the imagination. The thin straps of the dress barely held Maura's beautiful breast; so much of them were open to the raping of my eyes. Maura's feet were adorned in the tallest, sexiest black stilettos I'd ever seen. Maura let her hair down and it fell over her shoulders like waves of golden silk. Maura's lipstick was red, devil red. And her eyes were dark and husky. I dropped her makeup from my hand to clatter onto the hard wood floor. I'd forgotten I was holding it. Or maybe I just lost control of my muscles. Maybe both. I wanted to speak, I wanted to move, I wanted to drop to my knees and worship her. But nothing about my mind or body seemed to be functioning properly. Everything was fuzzy and hazy and my heart was beating like crazy. Maura just leaned against the doorway and studied me. She was sipping from a glass of wine, red wine...Maura's favorite.

I tried to speak but some kind of squeak escaped my mouth instead. I quickly closed my mouth and gritted my teeth. I couldn't afford to be running around quacking like a duck. Maura smiled at me and curled her finger, beckoning me to her. Her eyes shined with hunger, they stripped me, called to me, desired me. I mindlessly found myself walking toward her. I was in a daze. Maura in that dress was driving my imagination wild. I couldn't pin point one specific thought, I had so many! I felt like I was in a dream. I was in heaven, this _had _to be heaven. No one, nothing, and no place on earth was as beautiful as Maura in that moment. When I was two feet from Maura I saw my reflection in the dresser mirror and stopped short.

"_Fuck...my bruise!_" I wailed in my head.

I immediately dropped my head and took a step back. I wanted to be beautiful, I wanted to be beautiful like Maura. I covered my bruised eye shamefully. I felt Maura's hand wrap around my waist. She placed her glass of wine on the dresser and kissed my cheek. The sweetest, lightest, gentlest kiss. My heart sank. My heart soared. My heart stopped. Maura brushed her lips against mine softly, teasing me to kiss her. I wanted to. The air around us was heavy. It was on fire, my skin was burning with electricity. Maura's hand on the small of my back held my body still like an anchor, supporting me, filling me with so many thoughts of desire and longing. I was hungry for her. My lips were starving for hers. My body ached with yearning. I leaned in to kiss her but Maura pulled back just out of my reach. I let out a choked sob.

"Look at me sweetheart," Maura said softly, bringing her lips right against mine again.

Maura was half an inch taller than me in those heels and I was barefoot. The cold hardwood under my feet sent shivers up my spine. Or maybe it was Maura's sweet breath on my lips. Maybe it was how much of her body I could see through the lace of her dress. Either way, I was trembling.

Maura lifted my chin with her fingers and I had no choice but to look at her. I felt afraid, I felt ugly, but Maura wouldn't let me pull away. She held me tightly. She looked right into my eyes, studying me, searching me, opening me, reading me. She knew everything, she _saw_ everything, she loved everything. I saw it in her eyes. I _knew_ she loved me. I could tell by the way her eyes softened as she looked at me. I could tell by the way she kissed my bruise ever so gently. I could tell by the way she curled her fingers in my wet hair and smiled against my lips before she let me kiss her with all the passion one human being could offer another.

I loved the way she pushed her breast into mine, but not to hard. I loved the way she held my face in her hand and led me through the beautiful dance of our kiss. I loved the way she controlled the moment, conquered me with barely a word, made me feel beautiful despite all my insecurities in a matter of seconds. I melted. My knees became weak. My legs trembled. My center burned. My thighs moistened. I moaned softly in the kiss. My eyes closed and angels danced for me. Songs of love filled my mind. Heat flooded my body. We kissed and kissed and kissed.

I wanted to do more, I wanted to pull Maura closer to me. I wanted to rip off her dress. I wanted her to take me, control me, move me inside and out. I grabbed at the hem of Maura's dress desperately. I needed to feel her, I wanted her inside me. My urge for release drove me to the brink of my sanity. I was crazed and possessed, hungry for Maura's bare skin against mine. But Maura grabbed me around the waist, spun us both on the spot, and pushed me into the dresser. I cried out, shocked by her aggression. I grasped the edge of the antique oak dresser to steady myself. I forced my breath to remain calm. I shifted my legs and felt my wet thighs slide freely against each other. I pulled the towel around me tighter and whimpered softly. Maura took a step back and studied me. Her expression was stony, like ice. Her eyes burned some dark amber color like the embers of a campfire. Those eyes of hers, they _captured_ me. They set my soul on fire and terrified me in turn. In that moment Maura was power, Maura was control, Maura was a goddess and I subservient to her will. Was there nothing this woman didn't see with those eyes? I shivered again. Then Maura smiled. Just barely a smile. Her lips, blood-red, turned up in the corners slightly making her look devilish and intense. She grabbed the glass of wine from the dresser.

"This wine is five years old. A gift from a French collector I met years ago in Paris. I think you'd enjoy Paris; I will take you and Angela there one day. Anyway this particular wine is called a Burgundy. Burgundy grapes only grow in one specific place in the world. They grow along the Saone River in France between Lyons and Dijon. Good Burgundy is rare and old. When the Romans conquered Gaul in 50 B.C. they discovered the grapes growing on the hillside of Cote d'Or. Since then those vineyards have become the favored of Kings, Dukes, Barons, monks of the middle ages, Popes and Presidents. For over two thousand years those vineyards have been nurtured and this wine has been perfected to what it is today." Maura said taking a sip of the wine.

She closed her eyes as she tasted, inhaled the scents of the glass and smiled. Her face was a mask of content and deepest delight. She sighed as she lowered the glass from her lips and handed it to me. I took it tentatively, staring into it curiously. Maura was talking about the wine like it was a living being she loved with all her heart. I stared at the dark liquid not knowing what to do with all the information Maura was pouring out to me. Maura stepped forward and pushed me against the dresser, kissing my neck softly as she wrapped her hands around my waist. I sighed. I was intoxicated already by the smell of Maura's apple scented shampoo. Her blond curls tickled my face and my skin was prickly with goosebumps.

"Taste it," Maura whispered in my ear.

I barely suppressed a moan from escaping my mouth. My breath was heavy and my heart pounded. Maura brushed my hair from my face as I took a sip of the wine. Flavor exploded in my mouth. I couldn't stop myself from smiling. Maura smiled with me, pleased by my expression of delight. She leaned in slowly and kissed my lips, the tenderest touch. Her lips tasted like heaven, like the wine of kings. I opened my mouth and savored the tongue that found mine. Our tongues began another waltz of passion and love. My eyes were still closed when Maura pulled away from the kiss. Our lips still touched and our breath was in rhythm like the beating of a drum. I was lost in some nirvana only the luckiest of souls had ever known. Maura nuzzled her lips against my ear again and whispered sweetly in that deep voice that made my skin flush and heat rise inside me.

"Red wine is an ancient aphrodisiac. A chemical compound in red wine called cresveratrol increases blood flow to the erogenous zones and the scents it gives off of leather, tobacco and earth open the body to sexual arousal." Maura whispered.

I felt her hands run up my body beneath my towel. I stuttered and whimpered. I bit my lip against the power of the desire to say so many dirty things. But I didn't want to taint this moment. Maura's fingers ran up my sides and my body squirmed beneath her touch. I felt her fingers brush my nipples and I moaned against her lips. She kissed me again and pulled the towel from my body letting it drop to the floor. I shivered from cold, or maybe arousal. But Maura wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into her warm body and her warm kiss. I forgot about my bruised face. I forgot about everything. I felt beautiful in Maura's arms.

I set the glass of wine on the dresser and tangled my fingers in Maura's hair. She was just slightly taller than me in the heels and I loved it. It felt like surrender, it felt like Maura was my king and I her blushing princess. A deep moan escaped Maura's mouth into mine and she ran her hands down my naked body and lifted me onto the dresser easily. I had no idea Maura was so strong, but I smiled, enraptured in her embrace. Maura spread my legs and stood between them never breaking our kiss. I felt a rush of juices escape me and moisten my thighs again. I ached and cried for release. The muscles of my core and thighs quivered beyond my control. I grasped at the hem of Maura's dress again but she grabbed my hands, brought them to her lips and kissed them.

"No no no little princess." She spoke softly against my fingers. "I'm going to take my time with you,"

I whimpered. She smiled. Maura stepped back and pulled me off the dresser and onto my unsteady feet. She let her eyes run over my body for long moments. I felt shy suddenly, naked to the scrutiny of Maura's burning eyes. I whimpered again and lowered my head hoping Maura didn't see me blush.

"You are exquisite sweetheart!" Maura said kissing my bruise several times to reassure me.

I smiled sheepishly. Maura grabbed the glass of wine on the dresser and handed it to me again. I sipped and sighed. Burgundy, the wine of Kings, was my life now.

"The wine of kings...I've come a long way for a whore." I chuckled.

I stopped laughing immediately when I saw the look on Maura's face. I was afraid for a moment. I was terrified of the stony, iron cold mask of fury that over took my girlfriend. I tried to apologize but Maura shook her head, took the glass of wine from my hand, set it aside, and wrapped me in her arms. Her body was warm, but her muscles were tense. I felt her mouth at my ear and a heavy sigh escaped her. I shivered as her warm breath blew across my ear. I felt my heart break and my eyes fall. I'd upset Maura, I knew I had. I always did when I reminded her of what I had been. Maura had changed my life so much; but I could never forget where I came from. I could never forget the darkness, the hole, the despair, the hopelessness of having to sell my body to feed my child. I _loved_ Maura, I _know_ I did; but shadows of my past still haunted me no matter how much light Maura shined on me.

"Jane, sweetheart. When are you going to stop hating yourself?" Maura whispered to me softly.

"What?" I was confused by the question. I didn't know what to say.

"When are you going to stop hating yourself?" Maura held me at arm's length and studied me.

There was a desperation in her eyes. I turned my head; I didn't want to see her look at me that way. I wanted to be beautiful, I wanted _Maura_ to think I was beautiful. In the moment I was failing myself and failing my girlfriend. I hurriedly wiped tears from my eyes hoping Maura didn't notice them.

"I-I...I" I tried to find words to say, but I found none.

"Do you believe me when I tell you I love you?" Maura asked sincerely.

"Yes, Maura...I believe you."

"You're my little princess, you and Angela both..."

"...I'm not a princess!" I pouted.

Maura giggled. "You are to me, and you always will be. Now kiss me little princess and let me love you the way you deserve to be loved,"

Maura kissed me hard, wrapping her hands in my hair and letting me feel her body the way I wanted. I forgot about being a whore. I was kissing Dr. Maura Isles; I was the luckiest woman in the world. Maura gasped when I took her breasts in my hands. I smiled. Her breasts were my new favorite things on earth. I was encouraged by Maura letting me feel her up; I tried to slip my hand between her legs...but Maura pushed me back again. I growled and protested, Maura only smiled.

"Get dressed and meet me in the living room, I have something special for you." Maura said brushing my cheek with her thumb.

I pouted. Maura frowned.

"What's wrong?" she inquired.

"I don't _want_ to wear Red Sox pajamas and boys cut cotton briefs!" I said honestly.

"Sweetheart you love those pajamas! I packed them special just for you." Maura whispered against my lips.

I frowned and turned my head.

"I want to be sexy like you," I said softly, sighing heavily.

Maura's smile was devilish and hungry.

"You're _always_ sexy! But I have something you might like better." Maura pulled me to the bed and pushed me to sit. I did.

I brought my knees to my chest to cover my nakedness. I don't know why, I didn't feel ugly anymore. I just felt...shy. Like a virgin. Like I'd never been touched. Truth be told in some ways I _was_ a virgin. I'd never slept with a woman. I'd _certainly_ never been touched the way Maura touched me. It felt good, it felt sweet, it felt kind, if felt..._good!_ No man ever made me feel this way. No man ever cared how I felt about myself or insisted on calling me his little princess or treated me anything like one at all! No man ever bothered to take the time to kiss me gently or explore my body beyond his penis inside of me pumping away for his pleasure.

Maura touched me like she loved me. She guided me, controlled me, manipulated my body and my senses in her hands and with her eyes and her smile and her gentle touches. But she was not overly aggressive, she was not selfish, she was not in a rush. She was savoring me. She was giving me time to savor her and experience so many things I never knew were possible. She was testing me, searching for my limits, studying my body, exploring the extent of my desire. Maura was wonderful; she was everything.

Maura pecked my lips before leaving the bedroom. I watched her go and my jaw dropped again. She was so _beautiful._ I could tell she wasn't wearing anything underneath the lacy black dress and her body was...lord have mercy on me! The way she walked in those crazy tall heels was nothing short of awe-inspiring. The sway of her hips and the swagger of her stride moved me to lust, desire, and wonder. I looked down at my own body when Maura cleared the room and flushed when I saw my nipples were hard, like little brown rocks. I covered them with my hands and smiled. Maura returned moments later carrying a red box with a silver bow on top. I giggled. Maura smiled and lowered herself to her knees in front of me. She pulled my legs down and around her sides and laid the box in my lap.

"Maura, no more presents!" I admonished playfully.

Maura found my hands and kissed my fingers again.

"This is for both of us little princess." she smiled.

Something about that smile was wicked and knowing. I pulled the lid from the box and my breath caught. I lifted a dark blue silk negligée from within and a pair of black heels just like Maura's from the box. Maura's eyes glowed with desire. My mind raced with possibilities.

"Do you like it?" Maura asked.

I gushed and giggled.

"Do _you_ like it?" I asked curiously.

The look in Maura's eyes boiled my blood.

"Get dressed and meet me in the living room," was all she said before she disappeared from the room again.

I blushed as I stared at my reflection in the vanity. The blue negligée was perfect and the heels made me feel like a queen. I'd never cared for dressing up before, but in the moment I felt wonderful, _beautiful_! I choked down a wave of nervousness. I wanted to please Maura, I wanted her to think I was beautiful too. But I couldn't let my insecurities hold me back. I had to be confident, confident like Maura. I brushed my hands over the silk fabric covering my abdomen and smiled. I _was_ beautiful. I caught Maura's reflection staring at me in the doorway. I spun and stuttered. Maura smiled.

"Come here sweetheart!" Maura said extending her hand to me.

I crossed the room as gracefully as I could and took Maura's hand. She kissed me again and my head swam. In the heels I was taller than her again, but I still felt like I was under her spell. I loved her so much. Maura led me to the living room and I gasped. The lights were out and the soft glow of many candles filled the room. The fire-place was roaring and the coffee table was scooted aside leaving a large open area. Dozens of soft looking pillows were laid out over an oriental rug. A small table with a huge tray of delicacies sat in the middle of the room for our delight. I smiled. Maura smiled with me as we sat and stretched out on the pillows. Soft classical music played in the background and I was in heaven again. Maura spread her legs and pulled me into her body so my back was leaning against her front. She kissed up and down my neck and cheek, massaging my shoulders and whispering softly in my ear from time to time. I closed my eyes against the assault on my senses. The pleasant warmth of the fire comforted me. My body swayed and pushed into Maura of its own accord. I couldn't stop smiling, I couldn't stop moaning, I could barely breathe. Maura scooted from behind me after a while and let me lay back against the pillows. I stretched and giggled. In that moment I really _did_ feel like a princess. The room smelled like vanilla with a hint of lavender. It must have been the candles. Maura leaned down and kissed me deeply again before turning her attention to the tray of goodies.

"Did you know that certain foods also carry aphrodisiac properties?" Maura asked kissing my fingers as she picked up a slice of banana from the tray.

"No," I said simply.

I hadn't much breath to speak and eyes only for my girlfriend. I smiled when I thought of the word 'girlfriend' again. Maura was mine, and I was hers. I could not have been more in love. Maura brushed my lips lightly with her finger before she slipped the slice of banana between them. I smiled as I chewed.

"The potassium in bananas aids in the strengthening of muscle tissue allowing for more powerful muscle contractions during orgasm." Maura smiled as she watched me swallow the banana.

I giggled, "What!" I said incredulously.

Maura only kissed my fingers again. Maura fed me a piece of dark chocolate this time. It was delicious, rich and strong in flavor.

"Chocolate contains phenylethylamine, it releases endorphins associated with feelings of well being and excitement,"

I sighed when I swallowed. Next Maura fed me a piece of avocado.

"Avocado contains vitamin E which helps the brain release the hormones testosterone and progesterone that aid in clitoral swelling and vaginal lubrication," Maura smiled at me.

I burst out laughing almost choking on the avocado. Maura giggled with me.

"It's_ true_," she insisted.

"_Maura_ you make it sound like something out of a textbook. Clitoral swelling, vaginal lubrication...oh my goodness!" I exclaimed covering my face with my arm and sighing heavily.

I felt Maura's hand on my stomach, her fingers sliding over the silk of my new negligée. My muscles trembled with her touch. My hips swirled slightly. I knew my clitoris was swollen and my vagina was well lubricated, but it had _nothing_ to do with the freaking avocado.

"Technically the characteristics of food and their various properties _are _textbook; but I don't mean to put you off. I want you to enjoy yourself and understand what your body in experiencing." Maura said simply.

I rolled my eyes under my arm.

"Maura, my body is experiencing _many_ things right now. Things only _you _could make me feel. I am _well_ aware of what you're doing to me!" I said sincerely.

I felt Maura's hand leave my stomach. I felt it again, only this time on the middle of my thigh. I gasped, she had the softest hands. But they were strong and capable. I squirmed and my hips swirled again. More juices escaped between my legs.

"Look at me Jane," Maura's voice was sincere but also commanding.

I lifted my arm from across my eyes and gazed up at Maura's face. Her eyes were still burning, the firelight made her skin glow. I was breathless for moments. But something in Maura's eyes spoke of pain and heartache. I sat up immediately and kissed her. I didn't want to see pain. I wanted to see only love and desire. I wanted to be beautiful for Maura. I wanted her to think only happy things in my arms. I wanted her to forget. To forget everything that made her sad. I wanted her to forget her past and her loneliness and her horrible mother and focus on me. I wanted her to see how much I cared, how much she meant to me, how much I _adored_ her. I wanted her to love me like I loved her. I wanted _everything_, to _give_ everything, to _be_ everything she needed. I'd never say 'whore' again if it meant Maura would always smile; and call me her little princess.

"What's _wrong_ Maura," I asked pulling away from the kiss and leaning my fore head against hers.

Maura didn't look into my eyes this time. Her gaze was distant and her eyes shined with tears. My heart broke. I brought both of my trembling hands to Maura's face and held her gently, stroking her cheeks with my thumbs.

"Baby, please don't cry. It hurts me so_ much_ when you cry! I'll _never_ call myself a whore again; I'm _not _a whore...I'm yours...I'll always be yours! You're a queen and I'm your champion; I'll always stand by your side! Don't you know I love you, don't you know how happy you make me? Don't you_ know_ sweetheart...don't you _know?_" my voice cracked and a tear streamed down my face.

I pulled Maura to me and kissed her hard. I needed her to _know,_ I needed her to _understand,_ I needed her to _believe_ that she was my everything. I felt Maura's hands on my wrist, holding me tightly. She pulled out of the kiss and tears were streaming down her face. I choked on a sob. I kissed as many tears as I could. Maura's body trembled, her eyes closed, she swallowed many times trying not to sob harder. I kissed the lump in her throat and kissed her lips again.

"Tell me Maura, you can tell me anything," I whispered against her lips, pressing our foreheads together again.

I saw Maura try to smile around the tears streaming down her face. I don't know how but I lifted Maura into my lap and cradled her against me, pushing her head to rest on my shoulder and kissing the bridge of her nose. Maura nuzzled her face into my neck and kissed me many times, the sweetest touch. I rocked her back and forth, running my hands over her back and spoke calming comforting words.

"Tell me baby," I pleaded again.

I was desperate to know. I _had _to know what was wrong so I could fix it. I'd do _anything_ to fix it.

It was moments before Maura spoke, and when she did it was with a voice trembling and soft, barely above a whisper.

"I love you _so _much Jane." Maura gasped.

My heart melted. I held her tighter against me. I'd _never_ let her go.

"You are all I've ever wanted. You make me feel like I'm dreaming sometimes; like you couldn't possibly be real, I couldn't possibly be this happy. Every morning when I wake up I panic because I think this has all been in my head; until I look over and see you sleeping right next to me. My heart stops. I touch you just to make sure you're really there. I lay across you because I don't want you to disappear. I just want to hold you all the time; I want to be with you and love you and never let you go. Jane, when you stood up to my mother, God you blew my mind! Everyone else looked terrified but you looked...gosh you look like a _titan_, like a queen. You looked like you wanted to rip my mother's eyes out and I was blown away. If I hadn't been so embarrassed I would have kissed you right then but..."Maura's voice trailed off.

"You don't have to worry about that, I was happy to do it...someone had too! Next time you'll do it yourself." I smiled kissing Maura's damp cheeks.

"No one has ever stood up for me like that before. No one challenges my mother but _you_ did...and you did it for me! I want to thank you..."

"...You're welcome!" I giggled.

Maura smiled.

"I wanted to thank you for making me go back. I wanted to thank you for not running or leaving me and for helping me find my strength. You make me feel like I can do anything. You make me forget all the hurt and the pain. You make me better Jane Rizzolli. You complete me. You're what I've been missing and praying for my entire life. It's like the universe heard me cry every night and gift wrapped you just for me. I have to keep you safe, I have to protect you, I have to love you like crazy and never let you go. I don't ever want you to hurt again. I want to give you...I want to give you _everything_!" Maura said looking at me with teary desperate eyes.

I smiled.

"Baby you already have...and I want the same for you!"

Maura looked shocked for a moment, then she kissed me like she never had before. I went crazy kissing her back. I kissed everything I could get at in a frenzy. Maura straddled me. I ran my hands under her dress and cupped her bottom, pulling her into me. Maura wrapped her arms around my neck and moaned softly against my lips over and over again. I grew bolder. I ran my hands up her body and Maura raised her arms instinctively allowing me to pull the dress over her head and toss it behind me forgotten. Maura tried to kiss me again but I held her firm by the shoulders. Maura's eyes were low and burned with lust. Her pupils had turned a dark color I'd never seen before. I let my eyes linger on every part of Maura exposed to me. I gasped and sighed and shuddered. She was so _beautiful._.._so_ beautiful! I wrapped my hand around Maura's sides just under her arm pits and pulled her to my lips. I kissed her shoulders, her neck, her collar bones, her chin, her cheeks, her lips, her breast, her nipples her ears.

"_Janie!_" Maura gasped when I pinched one of her nipples between two fingers.

I smiled and nipped at her trembling lips. I could get the hang of this! What the hell was I so worried about before? Maura was breaking before me. Her eyes were closed tight. Her hips swirled in my lap, her juices leaking onto my negligée. She arched her back every time I kissed her breast, or neck, or whispered in her ear how much I loved her. I felt her legs tremble around me. I was wrong before..._this _was heaven! Maura's naked body in my arms, bending for me, breaking for me, surrendering to me..._this_ was heaven!

I felt Maura's nails digging into my shoulders but I gritted my teeth against the pain. I pulled her body closer and closed my lips around her hard pink nipple taking the whole thing in my mouth. Maura moaned my name again and scratched her nails across my shoulders as her back arched and her hips pushed against me. I felt my insides burn. My core released another flood of juices from within me. They poured out of me like a raging flood. My head swam, my vision blurred, all I could see was Maura's beautiful body. Maura moaned several more times before pushing me roughly against the pillows and covered my body with her own. I ran my hands up and down Maura's thighs and back. I _loved_ the way her body moved on top of mine. I _loved_ the way her hips locked me down. I _loved_ the way her muscles rippled beneath her skin. I_ loved_ the way she kissed me so hard it took my breath away. I _loved_ the feeling her breast against mine; her body covering me like a warm blanket. Maura reached for my hands and pulled them above my head pinning me down by my wrist. She looked down at me, her lazy bedroom eyes pierced me to my soul. I whimpered. I wanted more. I wanted everything. I didn't want to stop...I wanted _everything!_

"Not yet baby...let's finish our treats. I know you didn't get to eat all your cheeseburger and you need your strength." Maura cooed down at me.

I growled and rolled my eyes.

"_Fuck_ food!" I blurted out before I could think better of it.

Maura smiled from ear to ear.

"Language my love," she scolded me arching an eye brow.

I growled again and tried to wiggle my way from beneath her but she held me firm, locking me down. I sighed as I realized there was nothing I could do. I was a slave to Maura's will in this position. I had no choice but to bend. My eyes ran down Maura's naked body. I smiled when I saw her hard nipple glistening with my saliva. I wanted it in my mouth again but I couldn't reach. I pouted and huffed. Maura only grinned at me wickedly. I got the feeling she was enjoying this immensely. I started to protest but the doorbell rang. I didn't even know this place _had_ a doorbell. I cursed and pouted. It was almost one o'clock in the morning. Who the hell was at the door? Maura looked curious too.

"What the _hell_!" I protested angrily.

The last thing I wanted was company when I was already half way to nirvana. Maura rolled off of me and ran to the bedroom. I swore again and stood. I felt a foot taller in the heels. Maura ran back out of the bedroom wrapping a robe around her body and heading toward the door.

"Maura, _Jesus._..tell them to _go away_!" I hissed. I was so frustrated I wanted to kick something.

Maura smiled sympathetically over her shoulder at me before opening the door. I ran to the door behind her. I picked up a vase on the way. If there was a killer out there I'd knock him out quick before he could steal my girlfriend from me.

"Delivery for you Dr. Isles and for a Miss Jane Rizzolli!" a bell boy said handing Maura a bottle of wine with a bow stuck on it and a small box glittering with sparkly pink wrapping paper.

"Really?" I grouched over Maura's shoulder.

Maura looked back at me, noticed the vase in my hands and rolled her eyes.

"Jane...put that down, and take this to the living room and bring me my purse!" Maura said shoving the gifts in my free hand.

I pouted and huffed and did as she asked. I scowled at the bell boy before I turned away. His eyes were lingering around Maura's cleavage a bit to long for my comfort. I tossed the box and wine on the couch and snatched Maura's purse from the bedroom running back to her.

"Thank you Henry," Maura said, fishing a twenty from her purse and handing it to the boy who looked like it was Christmas morning.

"Thank _you_ ma'am!" He said bowing his head. I was pretty sure his eyes were glued to the space between Maura's legs.

"Get out of here chump," I hissed, closing the door in his face and grumbling under my breath.

Maura fixed me with her most stern expression.

"That was _rude_ Jane...he was only doing his job!" she scolded.

I pouted.

"What part of his job is staring at your _tits_?" I shot back.

Maura looked at me like I was crazy. Then her expression changed into something like patronizing disbelief. Her grin was infuriating.

"Are you jealous little princess," Maura cooed at me, wrapping me into a hug and kissing my neck again.

Half my fury melted away in Maura's embrace. It was hard to think of other things with Maura's lips on my neck.

"**NO**..." I wailed. "..._yes_!" I sighed.

Maura smiled and led me back to the living room. I followed still pouting. Maura pushed me back onto the pillows and stared down at me. She was still wearing those heels and her legs were so sexy in that short little bathrobe. Maura's eyes burned again. She put one foot next to me and the other heel she put right on the center of my chest pushing me back against the pillows.

"_Jesus!_" I thought as my breath caught in my chest.

Maura's smile was wicked and beautiful as she untied her bathrobe, shrugged it off her shoulders and let it fall to the floor.

"Oh my _GOD!_" I cried as my eyes were assaulted with her beauty.

There was nothing I couldn't see of Maura with her standing above me holding me down with her heel on my chest. Everything was on fire...every _part _of me! Maura's body was a work of art, the finest sculpture God ever created. If I didn't believe in God before I certainly did now...if for no other reason than to thank him for designing something so..._exquisite!_ I noticed the area above Maura's vagina was decorated with soft, reddish blond, silky looking curls that were well-trimmed and beautiful. I wanted to nuzzle my face in them, I wanted to taste between her legs. I wanted to pull her down, flip her on her back, spread her legs, and find out _all _the ways I could make her scream my name. But Maura held me firm against the pillows with her heel. There was nothing I could do but stare, crave, dream, and wonder! Maura licked her blood-red lips seductively, teasing me, taunting me, captivating me. The smile on her lips was devilish.

"Don't worry baby...this is _all _yours!" She said running her fingers over her breast and down her stomach stopping just above the folds between her legs.

Maura circled her fingers through her amber curls before letting them slip between her slit. A breathy sigh escaped Maura's mouth. Her eye lids fluttered and closed. She moaned softly, music to my ears. Her body trembled and her hips circled slowly as she touched herself while her heel held me down. I watched Maura pleasure herself in awe. My jaw was hanging open, my center was burning. Every soft sigh and desperate moan that escaped Maura's mouth was driving me crazy. I wrapped my hand around Maura's calf and let out a moan of my own. Maura's hand was moving faster and faster between her legs. Her skin, glowing in the firelight, was covered with a sheen of perspiration. Her breath was heavy, the muscles in her face trembled. Her lips quivered. She called my name softly many times as her fingers worked between her legs.

I thought I was going to explode. Maura's entire body quivered and shook. I could hear the squishing sounds of Maura's fingers becoming drenched in her juices. The muscles in her neck and arms were taught, her veins engorged with burning blood and clearly visible beneath her pale white skin. I could tell Maura was close. She was shaking all over, her moans were growing louder and louder, the circling of her hips came faster and faster. The pressure of Maura's heel on my chest increased more and more. It was hard to breath, it was painful, it was beautiful...I fucking _loved_ it!

"Janie..._Janie.._."Maura called my name in high-pitched desperate moans.

Maura was lost in the moment. Her hand was a blur between her legs. Her heel on my chest dug into my flesh, quivering with her building orgasm. Maura was in another world, where ever she was she was taking me with her. I'd never been so aroused. I'd never hurt so much between my legs. My body was screaming at my mind, my mind was raging with desire, my senses were so overloaded I thought they might all shut down in exhaustion. Maura drove herself further and further screaming my name louder and louder. I scratched my nails down the back of Maura's calf. Maura cried out for me.

"Maura..._baby._..cum for me sweetheart!" I gasped.

"**JANIE**!" with one long, loud, reverberating scream Maura threw back her head and I could see the flood of cum pour out of her and run down her thighs.

Maura was left standing breathless, legs trembling, eyes rolling in her head. I could have passed out. I stared up at Maura. I stared at my queen! My eyes were wide and my body trembled in amazement. I whimpered many times; my cum soaking my thighs made me squirm under Maura's heel. If I liked cigarettes I'd be smoking two at the same time. It was several long moments before Maura calmed enough to catch her breath and look down at me. Her eyes...God her _eyes_! Her lustful gaze burned me up. Her face was damp with sweat. Her skin was red and flushed and golden locks of her hair stuck to her damp face making her look wild and dangerous.

"_Oh shit_!" I wailed. Maura smiled.

She sighed heavily, as if in relief and pushed her wet fingers into her mouth. She sucked away her juices looking down at me in such a way that I could have passed out all over again. I tried to speak, but only stutters came out again. I slammed my head against the pillows beneath me and whimpered. Maura smiled as she removed her heel from my chest and sat on the couch crossing her legs and picking up the bottle of wine. I struggled to catch my breath before I sat and looked up at Maura through hazy unfocused eyes.

"Who is it from?" I asked curiously.

"Albert," Maura said arching an eyebrow at the wine.

"The box is for you," She said handing it to me.

I took it and tore off the ridiculous wrapping paper. Maura watched me open the box. We both stopped breathing when we saw what was inside.

"Get the_ fuck_ outta here!" I exclaimed.

I looked up a Maura, she was laughing hysterically. I blushed and put the lid back on the box.

"Oh my goodness!" I mumbled.

What was Albert _thinking?_

"Give it here baby!" Maura said pulling the box from my arms.

She opened it again and pulled out a tiny card and handed it to me. I started to toss the card away but Maura raised an eyebrow at me.

"It's a _gift_ Jane...read the card!"

I huffed and opened the little envelope.

"_Dearest Jane. Don't be scared...she loves you!" _was all it said.

I stuffed the letter back in the envelope and shook my head.

"_Jesus Albert, could you be any more over the top?"_ I thought.

Maura leaned over and kissed me. I smiled. She smiled. I loved her so much. Maura crawled back over to the table with the treats and I followed, happy to be away from the box. Maura slipped a slice of smoked salmon in my mouth. I smiled and chewed it happily.

"Salmon contains the vitamin Omega 3 that opens the blood vessels and allows for longer stronger orgasms." Maura educated me again.

I rolled my eyes.

"It's delicious," I said picking up a piece and feeding it to Maura.

We kissed in between each bite. Maura and I drank more wine and ate oysters, which I didn't particularly care for, but Maura insisted they were the ultimate aphrodisiac. I thought they tasted like snot. Maura almost choked when I told her that. We both fell over laughing and giggling. We ate pomegranate...which I'd also never had before. But it was delicious...despite the pesky seeds. I bit into my half wrong and red juice ran all down my chin and chest. Maura teased me and I pouted. But she pushed me down against the pillows and licked me from naval to lips. I can not even describe what that made me feel or think. There_ are_ no words to describe such a sensation. I just trembled and squirmed. Every muscle in by body was beyond my control. I moaned as cum escaped me again. Maura smiled and pulled me into a sitting position. She pulled at my negligée. I lifted my hips from the floor slightly so she could pull it over my head.

"My _sexy_ little princess," Maura whispered against my lips as she pushed me down on the pillows again.

Maura propped herself up on her knees and pulled my leg over her shoulder. I moaned, _breathless._ Maura's eyes spoke of purpose. I shuddered. She kissed the inside of my leg at the knee.

"I love you Jane Rizzolli!" she sighed against my goose bump infested skin.

I tried to speak, but my voice came out as a whimper. Maura kissed me again and again, further and further up my leg. My hips swirled. My eyes closed, my back arched, my body ached. Maura lowered herself onto her stomach and continued her trail of kisses up my leg. I quivered and shook. I spoke half coherent words. I gasped and cried out when Maura's tongue ran through my slit.

"_Maura_!" I cried.

I wrapped my hands in her hair breathing rapidly and seeing colors behind my eye lids. Maura wrapped her arms around my hips and pulled me closer to her, spreading my legs and opening my body.

"Don't forget to breath," Maura whispered.

Maura's tongue slid through my slit again.

"Fuck!" I whimpered.

Maura didn't stop. She buried her face between my legs circling her tongue slowly around my clit. Heat burned me up. Lights exploded behind my eye lids, my body trembled violently, my core ached with yearning, my fingers tightened in Maura's hair. Maura only seemed encouraged by my reaction. She sucked my clit into her mouth and began flicking her tongue over my swollen sex in brisk methodic motions. I cried out, I gasped for air, I was falling. Falling deeper and deeper into an oblivion I never knew existed. My chest heaved, my heart pounded, my hips rocked my legs spread wider. I opened like a flower for my lover, my baby, my girlfriend, my everything. I moaned with each exhalation of my breath. Louder and louder my cries became. My face burned with the flow of my hot blood, my ears rang, my heart raced. Maura's tongue was a blur of motion across my swollen throbbing clit. I grabbed at the floor, my nails scratched at the rug. My toes curled in my heels, heavenly music played in my head. My body was gleaming with perspiration, my abdominal muscles contracted and released over and over again making my entire body shake. I cried out louder and louder, each moan growing in strength and intensity. Maura's tongue was heaven, earth, and everything in between. The heat was growing inside me. Every pore opened and begged for release.

Maura went at me like I was her life force. She held my hips firmly in her hands, her head moved with every motion my body made. The wilder my hips swayed the faster Maura's tongue circled my clit. The heat inside me was painful. Blood raced through my body like raging flood waters. Cum poured out of me in waves. I could hear the sloppy wet sucking sounds of Maura's mouth between my legs; it sounded like the voices of a thousand choirs. I thought I would die from it, I thought I would burn to cinders from within, I thought I would fall to pieces. Somewhere in my head someone was screaming. Maybe it was me. I had no control of any part of my body. Everything trembled. My legs shook and quivered on either side of Maura's face. Just when I thought I couldn't take it anymore, Maura pushed two fingers inside of me..._deep_ inside of me. My back arched violently. Tears streamed down my face, explosions of light played behind my eyes, sweat poured from every pore of my skin. Maura didn't miss a beat. She repositioned her body to allow her fingers to penetrate me deeply without her tongue having to break stride. She laid her arm across my abdomen and pushed my hips down again. I _knew _I was screaming this time. I _knew _that crazed, hysterical, manic voice screaming for dear life was my own. I grabbed Maura's hair tightly again. She pushed her fingers so far inside me I could see stars.

"Oh GOD M-M-M-MAURA!" I cried.

My breath was deep, desperate, trembling. My legs shook like crazy. Maura fingers were driving into me, hard and fast, skilled and talented. It took no time for her to find the spot inside me that made my eyes cross and my back arch again. My hips bucked and swayed, I screamed and moaned and wailed. Words tumbled out of my mouth. I had no idea what I was saying. I had a feeling I was making no sense. Maura met every buck of my hips with a thrust of her fingers and the flick of her tongue.

"_Jesus!"_ I cried when Maura's fingers curled deep inside me.

I thought I would explode when I felt another finger enter me and join the others in their vigorous dance of bliss. Tears poured from my eyes. I was close...close...close...so close...so close...

"...SO CLOSE...SOOO C-C-_CLOSE_!" I screamed.

I don't know what Maura did with her tongue, but everything went black for several moments. When I came to my self again I was on my stomach crying hysterically, writhing uncontrollably, screaming in ecstasy and pain. Cum was shooting out of me and pooling on the floor beneath me. I could hear nothing, nothing but the rush of blood in my ears and my own screaming. I was breathing so hard my lungs were burning and I thought I might black out again. What was this _feeling_? What was this _ecstasy?_ What was _happening _to me? Where _was_ I? Why was I _crying_? Why did I feel like I was on _fire_? Why couldn't my clit stop pulsing? Why couldn't my vagina stop leaking cum like an avalanche of pleasure. Where had I been all my life that I didn't know such things were possible? WHAT-THE-FUCK!

"OH...OH...OHHH...my G-G-_GOD_!" I found the breath to scream. I tried to crawl away but Maura caught me. She wrapped her hands around my hips again and lowered me to her hungry mouth. Maura was on her back now and I was on my hands and knees, trying to wiggle away from her...but Maura was not done with me yet.

"No...Maura NO _please..._I can't _do _this anymore! I can't_ take_ it...PLEASE Maura don't _do_ this to me!" I wailed in a high-pitched desperate voice.

I started crying all the more when I felt Maura's tongue attack me again. My body rose to an erect position. I was straddling Maura's face on my knees. I grabbed my thighs as my hips made slow circles around Maura's tongue. It was involuntary. It was beyond me. My body was out of my control. It reacted only to the pleasure Maura gave me. My thoughts of running and crawling under the bed to hide were far...far away.

I cried Maura's name as her tongue lapped at me again. I moved my hips in expert rhythm in sync with the work of Maura's mouth. I didn't fight it anymore, I didn't even try. I didn't want to...this is what I _wanted_. I wanted Maura, I wanted her tongue between my legs making me curse, and cry and break into pieces. I arched my back, ran my hands through my hair, sighed and gasped, and bounced on my knees my hips gathering speed in their circling bucking motion over Maura's hungry mouth. I said many dirty things as I rode Maura to ecstasy. Wave after wave of cum escaped me. Maura didn't seem to mind at all. Maura met every swirl of my hips with her skilled, talented tongue. She moaned and hummed over my clit pushing me, controlling me, driving me beyond myself.

I thought I could reach out and touch the hand of God! It took half the time as before for Maura to send me over the edge. I exploded again, cum poured out of me. I screamed and cried in my release. I fell forward and curled into a fetal position crying and sobbing and wailing. I couldn't get control of myself. My body trembled, my heart fluttered, my core just couldn't seem to stop pouring cum. I thought I would be lost forever and never regain my senses. I was helpless. I'd been stripped down, conquered, pushed, controlled, driven to a place far beyond the realm of understanding. I'd seen things to beautiful to express. I'd felt things to wonderful to describe. I was drowning, flying, running, jumping, falling, dying, living, living, living, _**living**_! I was _everything _and more all at once. It was to much to feel, it was to much to take in, it was to much..._to much_! I covered my face with my hands and sobbed desperately. I could barely breathe. I couldn't see a thing. I was no where and everywhere at once. I felt Maura wrap her arms around me and pull me against her, cradling me, loving me, comforting me.

"It's OK baby girl! Take big breaths..._deep_ breaths; come on sweetheart...deep breaths." Maura whispered as she kissed the back of my neck softly. I tried to do as she said, but it was just so hard.

"Come on little princess. It's OK...I've got you! I'm not going to leave you...I've got you...deep breaths..._deep_ breaths...there you go angel..._deep_ breaths." Maura said softly as she rocked me in her arms.

It was many long minutes before I was calm enough to see straight again and stop trembling finally. Maura held me tightly in her arms. I looked at the clock above the fireplace. It was almost two forty-five a.m. I was shocked. I'd been in heaven for over an hour. I rolled over and faced Maura. She was sweaty and her cheeks were flushed from exertion. I knew my eyes were wide and disbelieving.

"You...you did that for like an hour and a half!" I exclaimed.

Maura smiled brightly. She looked extremely proud of herself. She cradled my face in her hand and kissed gently. I could taste myself on her lips. I cried in her embrace. I was still tingling all over and slightly out of breath, but I let Maura kiss me as hard and as long as she wanted. She deserved it. She was a freaking titan..._my_ titan! When Maura finally pulled out of the kiss I smiled at her shyly. She brushed my lips with her thumb.

"Are you better now?" Maura asked me softly. Something like concern shown on her face.

I lowered my eyes embarrassed a little. I felt my cheeks flush.

"Was I very loud?" I whispered.

Maura's smile was as bright as the sun.

"It's OK...I can still hear...barely." Maura laughed.

I pinched her and tried to roll away but Maura wrapped her arms around me and held me firmly in her arms.

"I _love _you little princess." Maura smiled.

"I love you too baby!"

We kissed again and talked about everything on our minds. Maura talked about her family, I talked about mine. We shared more wine and ate more delicious food...I stayed away from the oysters.

"Are you still going to leave for Boston today?" I asked sadly at one point.

Maura's face became pained. I could tell she was thinking of what to say. Then she smiled, even though I knew it hurt her to do so for some reason. What was she not telling me? I _knew_ there was something she was not telling me!

"I guess it can wait little princess. I _do_ want to be there to bring Angela home tomorrow! I'll go next week before the Hamptons." she said softly.

"The Hamptons?" I repeated curiously.

Maura looked shocked and then embarrassed.

"I-I forgot to mention my mother invited us to stay with her in my family's home in the Hamptons next weekend. I wont go if you don't want to." She said uncertainly.

I was floored. So Constance Isles was extending an olive branch. I wanted to say no...I still hated that woman. But I wanted Maura whole, I wanted her happy, I wanted her healed. I'd never get that if she didn't mend her broken relationship with her evil cunt faced mother. Still...I didn't want to freaking go.

"Why don't _you_ go...I'll stay home and take care of Consuela and Angela." I said hopefully.

"No Jane! I won't go without you." Maura said boldly.

Her tone denoted there would be no point arguing. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"When did all this happen...the invite to the Hamptons?"

"Last night, after we got back from...you know...after we got back!"

I sighed and grumbled. Maybe Constance _did_ hear me. That was good. Maybe I'd not have to rip out her throat after all. Still...I wanted Maura to be happy, but being out of town with Constance seemed like a long stretch.

"Do _you _want to go, Maura?" I asked looking deep into my girlfriends eyes.

I saw something there that looked like yearning and hope, but there was also doubt.

"I don't know...I don't get to see her very often." Maura said sadly.

I gritted my teeth and spoke the most difficult words I'd said in a long time.

"Then we will go...it will be...fun!" I almost choked on the word 'fun'.

Maura's eyes lit up in excitement and childlike happiness. She kissed me hard. I kissed her back. I'd do anything for her...I _loved_ her. Maura seemed to have recovered her senses and her energy. She stood and pulled me to my feet.

"Let's go to the bedroom!" Maura smiled at me devilishly.

"Are you tired baby?" I joked.

I sure as hell was exhausted.

Maura only grinned at me. She grabbed the box with the gift Albert sent me and winked. My heart stopped in my chest.

"_Oh God!_" I thought.

"I'm not done with you yet little princess," Maura said taking my hand and leading me to the bedroom.

My heart was racing a mile a minute.

**A/N: What's in the box? Let me know what you think? Please review...this chapter was so much fun to write. There will be much more smut next chapter!**


	16. Little Princess pt 2

**A/N: Ok so...I read all your reviews. Know that I appreciate them all, they mean the world to me and magically make chapters appear even after I convince myself I need to get a life. Anyway...DJluvmix and another reviewer pointed out that the last chapter was...what did they say...something about a bad porn and indigestion and wanting it to be more romantic. I considered your thoughts and I tried really hard in this chapter to make that happen for you. I hope I didn't let you guys down again. Let me know what you think; I don't want to write a cheesy porn spoof! Enjoy this chapter...Noblegraces you're the only reason I'm posting it so soon. It really will be a while before you get the next one...and expect the humor and drama to come back! And with all that being said...here we go!**

**Maura**

Kissing Jane was like touching the stars. It was like standing on top of the Eiffel Tower and watching the sun rise. It was more precious than crown jewels; it was heaven, it was infinity, it was beautiful. My skin slid over the soft sheets beneath me as Jane's skin slid on top of mine. I wrapped my arms around her as tightly as I could. I wanted to feel close to her. In truth our bodies were as close as they could get. Jane's body covered mine; her dark hair fell over my face like a soft, black, lavender-scented veil. I loved her hair; wild, unruly, and untamable just like Jane. I loved the way her legs tangled with my own. I loved the way she kissed my neck and sighed against my lips. I loved the way her body complimented mine like it was made for me. I loved the olive tone of her skin against my pale flesh. I loved the deep rasp of her voice when she whispered 'I love you' in my ear. I loved the way she let me hold her, touch her most precious parts, and open her mind and body to a whole new world.

I loved being close to Jane. I loved the way I could feel her heart beat in her chest when I cupped her small but perfect breasts. I loved the way she nuzzled her cheek against mine when I ran my fingers down her tender sides. I loved the way she called me 'sweetheart' and 'beautiful' and 'angel' and 'perfect' and 'amazing'. I loved the way my heart broke and soared every time I thought about how much I'd always wanted a moment like this. What was love if not this? What was passion if not this? What was beauty if not this? Where would I be if not for this? Who ever loved me as much as Jane? Who ever kissed me with as much passion as Jane? Who had _I_ ever loved as I loved Jane? I thought I had loved before in the foolishness of my youth. I thought I had seen true beauty. I thought I knew what passion and desire was. I knew _nothing!_ I thought the sun rose and fell on a girl that cared nothing for me. I cared nothing for her...I knew that now.

In the arms of Jane I see no one else. Not in the literal sense of seeing with the eyes; it would be impossible to see anything else with Jane's hair cascading over my face and her body covering mine. But figuratively; I could see no one else. Jane consumed me, filled me, captured me, held me still, and sent me flying. My soul touched hers, heaven surrounded us, my eyes were only for her. No one else existed. I could see only Jane. All I wanted to know of life was only knowing Jane better. All I desired was to make her happy. The only place I cared to go was any and everywhere with Jane. All I wanted to do was love her endlessly, forever, on and on into infinity. How could something like this die? Once true love was born how could it ever fade away. It was just to strong. There was to much power. It was precious, it was life, it was magic, it was..._everything!_

In the arms of my love my walls crumbled, pain was a distant memory, loneliness was something I no longer understood. Joy was every part of me; her love wrapped around me like her body was wrapped around mine. I was King David gazing at Bathsheba bathing in the pool. I was complete, whole, intoxicated with the scents and sounds and touches of the woman I loved most. If I died in this very moment...I would know that I had lived, finally, I was living.

Jane kissed me softly and pulled away from my lips, resting her head in her hands. She gazed down at me with heavy swimmy eyes, low and burning with love. I smiled up at her. Her face was flushed and damp. I cradled her cheek in my hand. Jane sighed softly, closed her eyes and kissed my palm tenderly. She ran her finger down my jaw line studying my face. I smiled again, she smiled with me. I loved her so much.

"What are you thinking?" I whispered against her lips.

Jane sighed and kissed me again. I let her kiss me. I loved it when she kissed me. My body rose slightly from the mattress in my arousal. Jane's hips pushed against mine forcing me down with the weight of her desire. Jane's body moved only to compliment mine. She reacted to me instinctually; her body touched me in every way possible. I wrapped my fingers in Jane's dark locks and pulled her closer to me. A soft, husky moan escaped her mouth into mine. I swallowed her passion and returned more of my own. I ran my hands down her back and held her hips. I traced the lines of the v of her slender hips with my thumbs. Jane was so beautiful, and so sweet, and so lovely. I felt her abdomen tremble slightly above my own. I sighed in our kiss. There was no where in the world I'd rather be than beneath my girlfriend absorbing every kiss, and every sigh, and every soft trembling moan she gave me and releasing them back to her ten times over. Jane was all I could see.

I pulled Jane out of the kiss by her hair; but not to roughly. I didn't want to be rough anymore. I wanted to savor this; it was precious to me. I'd lost control of myself with Jane in the living room earlier; so overcome with lust as I had been. But now, in this moment, I thought of blooming flowers. Of fresh spring rains. Of the sounds of beautiful instruments. The feeling of earth beneath my feet. I dreamed of sleeping in the arms of my lover. I dreamed of majestic mountains and fields of gold. I dreamed of Jane.

"What are you thinking?" I asked again, gazing curiously into Jane's dark gorgeous eyes.

I knew Jane was thinking. I always knew when Jane was thinking. I wanted to know...I wanted to know everything. Jane opened her mouth to speak but quickly closed it and smiled instead. She tried to kiss me again to distract me. I rolled her over and covered her body with mine locking her down and forcing her still.

"Tell me little princess," I whispered.

"Why do you insist on calling me that?" Jane pouted.

I smiled down at her. My blond hair tickled her cheeks.

"I told you love...you _are _my little princess!"

"Can't I be something cooler like...like a knight in shining armor!" Jane's face lit up in excitement.

I giggled.

"You are_ many _things Jane; but you will always be my little princess! Now_ tell_ me little princess...what are you thinking?" I cooed at my love.

Jane sighed and looked deep into my eyes. I saw nervousness in her gaze, timidness, uncertainty. I grew curious. What did Jane want that I was not giving her? What questions did she have that I had not answered? What thoughts did she have that she felt she couldn't express or I wouldn't understand? What fear was in her heart that I wanted to drive away?

"Jane...what is it?" I pushed.

I brushed the back of my fingers over Jane's cheek to comfort her. Jane smiled timidly. She wrapped her hands around my side and squeezed me gently. I squirmed above her but kept my balance and held her still. My squirmy little princess wanted to get away from the thoughts burning in her head. _I_ wanted to pull them out of her. I'd hold her here forever if that is what it took to open her heart to me. Jane bit her lip and furrowed her brow. I grinned. She wanted something...I knew it. Jane always bit her lip and scrunched her face when she wanted something but was too afraid to ask.

I relaxed on top of Jane. I kissed her lightly several times on her sweet lips and felt Jane melt into me again. I'd kiss her secrets out of her if that is what it took. Whatever Jane wanted; I would provide. My tall, dark, often grumpy, viciously protective, sweet-hearted girlfriend was deceptively complex. But I was learning her, I could read her, I could bend her. I would pull the truth from her if she wanted to tell it or not.

I pulled from the kiss and rolled off of Jane. I wrapped a sheet around my waist and sat with only my breasts exposed. Jane rolled on her side and smiled. I knew that smile. I knew what Jane was thinking. She loved my breasts. She was trying not to stare at them; but I knew she would love nothing more than to do so. I smiled at her and rubbed my hands up and down her side. Jane squirmed under my touch. I loved the way she reacted to me. I'd never felt so desired. It was the most wonderful feeling to love and be loved in return. Jane tried to pull me back into her arms but I resisted. I put my hand on her chest and pushed her back gently. Jane pouted. She looked like such a child when she pouted like that; but I adored her anyway. I arched my eye brow and Jane narrowed her eyes at me.

"Are you playing hard to get now?" Jane asked sarcastically.

I grinned and swatted at her. Jane giggled; fought against my playful swats, and pulled me on top of her again. She held me tightly as I squealed in excitement and tried to wiggle away. Jane was impressively strong; even though I was on top. She held me in her arms giggling and laughing kissing at my neck playfully.

"Janie_ stop_ it," I wailed, trying twice as hard to get out of her grasp.

"Maura_ nooo_! You will let me love you until my heart is content!" Jane cooed at me, mocking my whining tone.

I laughed all the harder nipping playfully at Jane's neck. I bit her earlobe. Jane cried out.

"Ow you little shit...that _hurt_!" she pouted, looking up at me in shocked disbelief.

I smiled triumphantly. In Jane's shock she released me from her grip and I sprang to my feet beside the bed.

"I will always win Jane!" I said arrogantly, putting my hands on my hips and arching my eye brows at her.

Jane looked furious at having been tricked into letting me go. Jane tried to roll out of the bed but she was twisted in the covers and she fell to the floor in a heap of sheets and pillows. Jane looked twice as furious. I giggled and ran from the bedroom. Jane was right behind me. I squealed when she wrapped me in her arms from behind, lifted me from my feet, and tossed me on the couch.

"You little cheater..._I_ win Maura," Jane said attacking my writhing body.

Jane tickled me like crazy. I laughed and giggled until tears streamed down my face. I tried to get away but Jane was just to strong and determined and I was far to weak with laughter and excitement.

"Take that Maura...you like that...huh! Think you can top me woman...I'll tickle you to death!" Jane teased me as she attacked me. She assaulted every part of my tender stomach and sensitive sides tickling me like crazy with her long nimble fingers.

"J-J-Jane...JANE!" I wailed and cried and stuttered between hysterical giggles.

I'd never laughed so hard in my life. My stomach actually hurt. Breathing was becoming difficult and Jane seemed determined to have her way with me. I did the only thing I could think of. I grabbed Jane's nipple and pinched it hard. Jane cried out and flew backward onto the pillows cursing and wailing.

"OWWW! What is_ wrong_ with you?" Jane hissed grabbing at her breast and rolling around on her back kicking her feet and wailing.

I jumped on top of her causing Jane to gasp under the sudden impact. I grabbed her wrist and pulled them above her head, locking her down in the way I'd learned she couldn't escape. Jane looked furious again at having been outmaneuvered.

"_Maura!_" Jane wailed trying her hardest to free herself.

She kicked and squirmed and tried to nip at me. I giggled on top of her; teasing her futile attempts to free herself.

"_Janie_!" I mocked, kissing her pretty lips lightly.

Jane's face scrunched into that childish pout again.

"Get off me Maura!" Jane grumbled.

"NO! Not until you tell me what you were thinking in the bedroom!" I said sternly.

Jane's eyes narrowed again. She had that mischievousness expression that belied she had wicked intentions.

"Sherri asked me to have a threesome with her and her husband!" Jane said matter of factly.

I was stunned. I felt like I'd been slapped in the face. I let go of Jane's wrist and sat up straight looking down at her furiously. I felt my body go cold and my hands form into fist.

"WHAT!" I spat icily.

Jane grinned, flipped me on my back, straddled me, and held me down as I had held her moments before.

"I'm kidding...sort of...I think...it doesn't matter! I just wanted to get you off of me...I WIN!" Jane said excitedly.

A silly look of triumph shown on her face. I was furious. I was seeing red. I was raging inside.

_"Jane...get...__**off**_!" I hissed furiously at my girlfriend.

Jane's face fell. Her eyes went wide. She looked shocked, and then she looked terrified. Her eyes moved back and forth rapidly, she was thinking hard, thinking of what to say. Thinking of how to squirm her way out of her mistake. She knew I was angry...I was _seething._

"I didn't mean to say that...I should _never_ have said that!" Jane closed her eyes tightly and winced. She looked in pain. She looked like she was kicking herself in her head. She knew I was furious!

"Jane get _off _me!" I almost shouted at her.

Jane looked miserable. Her eyes looked desperate, her chest heaved slightly with the quickening of her breath.

"Maura I..."

"...Jane.._.now!_" I hissed. My voice was low and threatening.

Jane's eyes went wide again, then lowered in defeat. She rolled off of me and scooted away wrapping her arms around her knees and staring down at her feet. Her long unruly curls fell in her face; she made no moves to brush them back. Her shoulders sagged and her head was bowed. She looked absolutely miserable. I stood to my feet and looked down at my girlfriend. I didn't think it was possible to hate Sherri more than I already did before, but if that woman was in front of me now...she would see a side of me she didn't know existed. How many years had I cowered around that woman? How much abuse did I take from her? How long had I allowed her to make me feel inferior? NO! That was _my _fault. I had been weak; but I would be that no longer. If I could find the strength to stand up to my mother; I could find the strength to strangle Sherri.

But I had to control myself. I had to maintain myself. Jane was oddly sensitive to my moods. I didn't like the way she cowered and curled up inside of herself when I was raging. Jane was a strong person, I knew that, but she had a weakness for me and it was not my place to exploit that. I'd promised to control myself better when I lost it over the bell boy touching her the first time I brought her home. I remembered how innocent and guilty she looked over thinking she made a horrible mistake. I knew Jane was nieve and aloof about certain things and certain situations. Still I was angry. I sighed.

I walked to the kitchen, poured two glasses of wine and walked back to the couch. I sat and looked down at my girlfriend. She hadn't moved a muscle. I knew she was waiting on the storm of my rage. I felt terribly guilty. I would not rage at her; but this was not something I could overlook.

"Jane, come sit with me sweetheart!" I said, gently.

Jane looked up at me with bright curious eyes. She still looked frightened; she looked like she was afraid I was tricking her somehow. I forced a smile to reassure her that I wasn't going to lash out and hurt her.

"Come on, I won't bite," I said, extending a glass of wine to Jane.

She looked at it uncertainly. I smiled wider. Carefully Jane took the glass; but she made no moves to sit with me on the couch. I patted the place next to me and Jane's brows furrowed.

"I didn't mean to upset you Maura. I wasn't thinking, I made a mistake..."

"...Come sit with me and tell me exactly what happened." I insisted.

I kept my voice low and neutral; Jane was a skiddish creature. I had to be careful. She hesitated for a few more moments; then slowly moved onto the couch. She sat a full foot away from me. I smiled and scooted right next to her. I wrapped my arm around her back and pushed her head to lay on my shoulder. Jane fell into me; comfortable that I wouldn't hurt her. I kissed the top of her head and ran my fingers through her silky curls. Jane wrapped her arm around my stomach and sighed pleasantly. She seemed content in my arms. I smiled, I wanted her to be comfortable with me. I needed her to understand that I still loved her even when I was angry. And let me be honest...I was _very_ angry.

I sipped my wine and we sat in silence for a few moments. I thought many thoughts full of fury toward the one called Sherri. Visions of retribution played through my mind's eye. I would have continued on in my unpleasant thinking; but Jane nuzzled her face into my neck and kissed me softly. I closed my eyes and sighed. Fury melted away, anger dissipated, jealousy subsided...well almost. I kissed the top of Jane's head again; this time letting my lips linger in her soft dark hair. Jane was mine, I knew that. Sherri was nothing more than a fly that needed swatting. Still, I needed to know exactly how much of her mind Sherri had lost so I could determine just how hard I needed to swat her.

"Jane...what did Sherri say?" I whispered against Jane's ear.

I heard Jane whimper.

"Can't we just forget that whole thing?" Jane's voice was pleading.

She sat up and looked at me. Her bright eyes were wide with innocence, sincerity, and affection. My heart melted. Jane was afraid she hurt me; or that I didn't trust her. I kissed her lips softly. Jane sighed as our lips met. So gentle was the kiss. I found myself lost again; falling in the ocean that was my love for Jane. Jane wrapped her hands in my hair and pulled me forward. She kissed me harder, she kissed me deeply, she kissed me like she loved me.

With that kiss she spoke to me. Vocal words were absent but her actions spoke volumes. She told me she was sorry. She told me she was mine. She told me there was no one else she dreamed of but me. She told me she was happy. She told me she was free. She told me how much she loved me...she told me everything within that kiss. I pulled away from her and watched as her eyes lids fluttered and her unsteady breath caught in her throat. I smiled. I knew she loved me. I brushed her lips lightly with my finger and Jane finally opened her eyes. We stared into each other for long moments; lost in the love we saw in the other.

"Tell me what she said sweetheart...I'm not angry with you; but I need to know."

Jane sighed and tried to turn away. I caught her chin in my hand and brought her face to look at me again.

"Jane..." I warned.

It was a few moments before Jane spoke.

"She just said...well it was when we were dancing. I could have misunderstood the whole thing...it's probably nothing..."

"..._Jane._.." I warned again.

Jane looked defeated. She hung her head; resigned to the fact that I wasn't going to drop it. She steeled her nerves.

"She said she and her husband have an arrangement. She said he hasn't satisfied her in years...she said...she said...she said..."

"..._What_ Jane!" I pushed.

Jane whimpered.

"She said she could show me things I'd never seen before. She said I should come over for dinner and she'd cook for me sometime and...she could make me happy. She said she and her husband enjoyed spicing things up and that I would be a welcome guest in their house. She didn't actually _say_ anything about a threesome...she didn't actually _say_ anything about having sex with me...she just...I dunno! I got away from her as soon as I could anyway...I was half drunk by then...it could have all been in my head. Maybe she just wanted to make me dinner and get to know me better!" Jane insisted.

She looked desperate for me to believe that. I gritted my teeth. I took several deep breaths and closed my eyes trying to remain calm. What in the world was _wrong _with Sherri? Jane stood right in front of Sherri and _told_ her I was her girlfriend. Yet as soon as my back was turned Sherri wasted no time trying to move in on what was mine. After all the years of parading her dates in front of me. Taunting me about not being married or having children. Highlighting my faults and shortcomings; now she suddenly wanted to steal from _me_!

I didn't want to tell Jane how ridiculous it was to pretend she'd heard wrong or that the hint wasn't as plain as day. I didn't want to tell her how silly it was to think Sherri meant anything less than exactly what it sounded like. I held in the storm of fury. I kept my expression soft and understanding. I willed myself to be strong. I trusted Jane...I needed her to feel comfortable enough to tell me things like this without fear of me flying off the handle. I took a long sip of my wine anyway; I needed help to calm my nerves. Jane's eyes were wide and searching. She was looking for cracks in my expression. She was looking for signs of anger and disapproval. She was waiting for the storm. I forced myself to smile.

"I'll talk to her sweetheart." was all I said.

Jane looked unsure.

"What are you going to say?" she asked timidly.

"It will be a talk between two women about boundaries. Don't worry. I'll keep you safe from Sherri," I smiled kissing Jane lightly again.

"You're...you're not mad?" Jane's voice said she was shocked.

"No baby, not at you. In the future I'd prefer if you were more upfront with me about these types of things...but I'm not mad at you," I said stroking Jane's cheek lovingly.

"I know how pretty you are little princess. This will not be the last time something like this happens. But I'm always here to protect you sweetheart; even when you don't think you need protection." I said nuzzling my nose playfully into Jane's neck.

Jane grinned peevishly.

"I'll protect you too; when the boys come calling for you." Jane winked at me.

It was my turn to giggle.

"Jane don't be silly,"

"I'm _not_ being silly! I saw the way that bell boy stared at you earlier! It wasn't the first time a man has looked at you sideways either." Jane insisted.

I rolled my eyes.

"You have nothing to worry about sweetheart," I said kissing Jane lightly.

She smiled at me.

"Neither do _you_ babe...I thought you were about to freak out about Sherri," Jane's eyes widened.

"I'm not going to freak out." I giggled.

She smiled in relief.

"Now tell me what you were thinking in the bed a little while ago,"

Jane furrowed her brow.

"God you're _persistent._" she huffed.

I giggled.

"Persistence is the key to success," I remarked casually.

Jane rolled her eyes and sipped her wine. I knew she was stalling for time.

"Jane..." I warned again.

Jane sighed and let out an exasperated grumble. She was pouting again.

"I just...I was thinking...I was thinking maybe we could try out Albert's gift to me." Jane said shyly.

Her cheeks blushed. She turned her head trying to hide her nervous smile. I was stunned for a moment. I took several more sips of wine before I spoke.

"You want me to...to do it to you?" I asked curiously.

It wouldn't be my _first_ time...but it would be my first time in a _long_ time. Actually I'd love to have Jane that way...but I wasn't going to push. That was a decision she had to come to all on her own. Until then I was content to use what God gave me naturally.

"Ummm...actually I was thinking I could do it to _you!_" Jane whispered.

She took another long sip of wine while I sat with my jaw open in shock. Jane looked over at me and smiled.

"It might be _fun _Maura, you know...I _want_ to please you." she smiled kissing my cheek lightly.

I had no words. I'd never let someone have me like that before..._ever._

"I've ummm...I've never done that before." I said honestly.

Jane looked confused.

"You've never used one before?" she asked curiously.

"No I've _used_ one before...I've just...I've never had one used on _me_."

"WHAT!"

"I'm serious. I...I've never been comfortable with the idea."

"But you've done it to others,"

"Yes," I agreed.

"Then why can't you let someone do it to _you?_"

"It's...it's a trust issue. It's...it's a control issue." I said honestly.

Jane looked incredulous.

"Has a man ever...have you ever with a man?" she asked, her eye brows furrowed in disbelief.

"No...never!" I sighed.

"I can't believe it! You're telling me...you're telling me you're a _virgin!_" Jane exclaimed.

I laughed.

"Jane I'm hardly a _virgin!_ You should know that by now. I've just never been penetrated with...well with anything but a woman's fingers."

Jane looked shocked. Then she closed her mouth and bit her lip. She was thinking again. I could tell she was thinking hard. Her eyes were burning with ideas and her grin was mischievous and playful.

"Will you let _me?_" she asked raising an eyebrow at me.

I laughed again.

"You want to _top_ me Jane?" I teased tickling Jane's tender tummy.

Jane smiled wickedly.

"If you'll let me," her voice was low and seductive.

"Do you trust me?" she asked brushing my hair from my face.

I hesitated. Not because I didn't trust Jane. But because of what I knew I'd have to do to prove it to her. In truth...in _truth_ I was _terrified_. What Jane was asking of me was more than I had ever given another living soul. It was surrender, complete and total surrender. It was me opening myself and allowing myself to be conquered inside and out...literally! The very idea made my head swim with fear and self-doubt. Jane sensed I was uncomfortable. She took my glass of wine from my hand walked to the table and set down both glasses. She walked back to me and bowed to her knees before me. She took my hands in hers and kissed them gently.

"Baby I won't hurt you. I'll be careful. This isn't about conquering you...it's about so much more than that. It's about me loving you and you letting me. If at anytime you don't like it, or it hurts to much, or you change your mind, you can say so and I'll stop. But I promise...I'll let you take the lead. You can guide me through it, tell me what you like, help me please you. I _want_ to please you. I want to love you this way. I think...I think it will be beautiful." Jane said softly.

I tried to smile. But a tear ran down my cheek. Jane looked surprised and kissed it away quickly. She wrapped me in her arms and kissed me deeply. She pulled me off the couch and lay me on the soft pillows on the floor. I didn't struggle. I didn't fight. I didn't blink an eye. I let her spread my legs and lay between them; draping her body over mine. Jane never broke our kiss. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into me. I wrapped my legs around her hips and sighed into her mouth.

"Janie..." I whispered breathlessly against her lips.

I was aching. I was hungry for my lover. I ran my hands all over her body loving the way each muscle trembled as my fingers passed over them. Jane sighed and kissed my neck. She buried her face between my breast and kissed me all the way up to my lips again. I trembled. A whimper escaped my mouth. The fires lit in the depths of me. I _wanted _this. I _loved_ this. I _needed_ this. I'd opened my heart to Jane. I'd opened my home to Jane. I'd opened my bed to Jane. I'd given my soul to Jane. My body was all I had left. It was what Jane wanted most in the moment. I knew it. I felt it in her touch. I heard it in her sigh. I believed it every time she whispered my name and moaned against my lips. I could see it in her eyes. The lust, the desire, the love..._so _much love. Jane would never hurt me. She would never betray my honor. She'd always treated me like a lady; I had no thoughts of her only wanting to control me. She loved me. As if in sync with my mind; my body responded. I felt my sex swell and throb. I felt my nipples harden. I felt my skin burn and my face flush. My body ached as my soul ached for release. I _wanted_ Jane...I _wanted _her inside of me. I would let her have me as I never let anyone before. I would surrender. I would release. I would live.

"Take me to the bedroom," I whispered in Jane's ear.

She moved her head in front of my face and studied me; trying to decipher what I meant. I smiled up at her. She was so gracious she wouldn't even assume. She wouldn't move until I gave her express permission. That's how much Jane thought of my honor. That's how much she loved me. That's how much she respected me. My heart melted. A pain exploded in my chest. It was love and passion, hope, trust, relief...it was so many things. Things only Jane made me feel. I kissed her again. I took her hand in mine and ran it down my body. I let her touch my breasts. I let her squeeze my nipples. I let her feel the muscles of my abdomen contract, release, and quiver. I let her feel me squirm. I let her hear me moan her name softly. I bit her lip lightly when I pushed her fingers inside of me. I cried out in ecstasy. Jane gasped. Her body trembled over mine. Her breath heaved and caught in her throat.

"_Maura?_" Jane whimpered against my lips.

She spoke my name almost as a question. Like she was begging me to be certain. Like she needed me to say yes; she needed the words and not just the gesture. I could tell she wanted me. I could feel her fingers tremble inside of me. I could hear her breath become raspy and ragged in the heat of her lust. Her voice was unsteady and yearning. I was seeing stars. I let Jane kiss me again. I let her kiss everything. I ran my fingers through her mane of dark curls as she worshiped my body with hers. I smiled as tears streamed down my face. I felt_ so_ good. Jane felt _so_ good. This felt _so_ good. Jane brought her lips to my ear and whispered to me.

"You're so wet angel," Jane's fingers pushed inside of me and curled.

I cried out, gasping for air. My eyes went wide in pleasure, surprise, and pain. I felt myself soaking Jane's hand. I held her so tightly I thought I might be suffocating her. I didn't realize I was pulling her hair. I was lost in some oblivion. Everything was beautiful. Life was perfect. Heaven and earth were one. Hell was a place unknown. I had never experienced such pleasure. I had never felt such joy. This was where I was supposed to be. This was my sanctuary; on my back, with Jane above me, _inside_ me, and me offering my body to her along with all my love.

"Take me to bed...I'm ready," I whispered through trembling lips.

Jane smiled down at me with flushed cheeks and sparkling eyes. She lifted me to my feet and picked me up. I wrapped my legs and arms around her as she carried me to the bedroom.

...

**Maura**

Jane was taking an extremely long time in the bathroom. I sat on the bed with a sheet wrapped around me. I held it tightly against my chest. I was nervous. I was also extremely excited; but still I was _nervous_. I was about to give Jane something I'd never given anyone before. I'd never even used a toy on myself. I tried to steady my breath and told myself over and over that Jane wouldn't hurt me. She loved me...she'd _never _hurt me. Jane was my little princess; she only wanted to please me. Jane made me happy. In her arms I was safe. I her arms I was beautiful. In her arms I could do anything. In her arms I was a queen. I smiled thinking of Jane; the feel of her skin, the kiss of her lips, the brush of her hair. So many ways and so many reasons did I love her. I wrapped my arms around myself and imagined they were Jane's arms. I could never hold myself tight enough to replicate her embrace. I couldn't wait to lie beneath her, I couldn't wait to give myself to her, I couldn't wait to surrender...to love...to honor and appreciate her. I would show her...I would show her everything...I would give her everything. My princess, my love, my life.

Jane finally walked out of the bathroom. Her face was blood-red and she held a towel over her...well her gift from Albert. She tried to smile at me; but she looked twice as nervous as me. I almost giggled. It was _me _about to spread my legs and let Jane have me in the most sacred way possible. Yet Jane looked like a blushing bride on her wedding night. I smiled lovingly at my sweet hearted girlfriend.

"Come here little princess," I said sweetly.

I reached out my hand for Jane. She whimpered and shuffled over to me; she never took her hands off the towel covering her present..._my_ present! Jane couldn't even look at me; she was blushing so hard I thought she might explode. I couldn't stop myself from laughing. I forgot all about my nerves seeing Jane look so vulnerable and uncomfortable.

"Baby relax it's OK," I said trying not to chuckle at how silly she was being.

"Let me see baby," I tried to pull at the towel but Jane jump and took two steps back.

I rolled my eyes.

"Are you chickening out?" I teased.

"NO!" Jane grumble.

I knew I'd struck a nerve. Jane had as much pride as any man I'd ever met. Teasing Jane a certain way was the perfect tool to manipulate her to do things she didn't feel comfortable with. I'd never take advantage; but I need to break through Jane's walls if this was going to happen. Still there were other ways; safer ways to move my girlfriend to action. I knew what she loved, I knew what she desired, I knew what she dreamed of at night. I ran my eyes over Jane's gorgeous body and smiled. I knew what to do to calm her...to get her attention!

I stood and let the sheet fall away from me. I stood naked and proud before the love of my life. I smiled when Jane's face went slack and her jaw dropped. I'd been naked for hours already with Jane. But she still gazed upon me as if it were the first time she'd ever seen me in all my glory. I felt beautiful. I felt like a queen. Jane took me in with her eyes; every inch of me. She looked desperate and hungry and in awe of me. If I didn't know better I'd think she was holding her breath. Perhaps she'd forgotten she needed to breath. I stepped up to her and brought her face down to kiss me. I wrapped my hands around her waist and pushed my body into hers. Jane was trembling from head to toe; but she let me kiss her. She let me love her. She let me show her how beautiful I thought she was. I clasped her hands over the towel and smiled against her lips. Her breath caught in her throat. She tried to step back but I stepped with her. I gazed right into her eyes; her dark beautiful orbs.

"It's OK sweetheart...let me see," I whispered trying to encourage her.

Jane whimpered.

"It's...it's kind of _big_," she said breathlessly.

I smiled.

"It's OK...I trust you."

I pulled at Jane's hands. She hesitated for a moment. I smiled; Jane reluctantly let me pull her hands away. The towel dropped to the floor. I kissed her softly before I looked down. Jane looked uncertain and afraid. I knew she was ready to bolt. She'd rip the thing off and toss it away forgotten if I so much as flinched. She was doing this for me, she wanted to please me, she wanted to love me, she wanted to show me...open me...drive me to places I'd never been. I felt so grateful, I felt fortunate...I was lucky. There was nothing selfish in Jane's eyes; there was only love, hope, and desire. I ran my hands over Jane's taught muscles; leaned my forehead on her chest and sighed. I looked at Albert's gift adorning my lovers body. It _was _big. It didn't look that big in the _box!_ But somehow on Jane it was...it was _sexy!_ Desire flooded me. I felt that familiar ache between my legs again. My knees felt weak. My heart pounded in my chest. The power of my arousal was overwhelming me.

I stepped back and sat on the bed studying Jane. She looked...she looked so _strong_. I noticed her toned muscles popping beneath her skin. I noticed the way her abs stood out and trembled with every breath she took. I noticed her long sexy legs. They looked powerful. I thought of them when they were wrapped around my waist earlier. I thought of the way Jane screamed my name. She'd been so vulnerable then; but now...now she look like a statue of perfection. So feminine; yet she oozed masculinity in a strange way. Passion moved inside me. Lust devoured my senses. I ached between my legs. I squirmed looking up at Jane. Her eyes burned, her skin glowed, her hair draped her body and I wanted to lose myself in it. I smiled at Jane with excited, trembling lips.

I _wanted_ this. I _wanted_ her. My excitement drove me. My hunger pushed me. My lust over came me. My nervousness long forgotten. I scooted back on the bed and lay against the pillows. I smiled at Jane encouragingly. She hesitated; studying me. Her expression was unreadable; but she no longer seemed nervous. She gazed upon my naked body as if she was filing away every atom of my existence in her memory for her pleasure. She let me linger against the pillows. She let my mind run wild. She let the hunger build. She let the tension engulf me, suffocating me.

I whimpered and reached out for her. I needed her, I _needed_ her inside of me. In this moment Jane was no longer my princess. She_ was_ my knight in shining armor. She was my champion. She had conquered me already. She had taken control of my mind, my heart, and my soul. All that was left was my body. It was her prize, it was my pleasure to give her, it was my greatest treasure. I was offering it to her in humble respect of the woman that had broken my walls, driven out my loneliness, and given me just enough of her strength that I could stand on my own; a free woman to be exactly what I wanted.

Jane gazed at the hand I extended to her and smiled. It wasn't an arrogant smile; it was pleasure and joy. Jane stepped to the bed and looked down at me. She held her toy so it didn't hit me. Jane ran her fingers up my body from my feet to my chin. She smiled. She loved me. I knew she did. I felt so beautiful. I took Jane's hand and tried to pull her into bed but she resisted. Instead she got down on her knees, took my hand and kissed it. I smiled. She was so gentle with me. She touched me like I was a porcelain doll that might break in her hands. I loved her so much. Jane looked at me reverently on her knees by the bed.

"Are you OK...with this? Are you...comfortable?" she asked softly.

I smiled and shook my head. I had no breath to speak. I only wanted Jane inside me, touching me, driving me, loving me. Jane grabbed my legs and swung them toward her. I squealed. Jane smiled. Not a devilish smile. Just a loving, precious turning up of her lips. She scooted me to the edge of the bed and spread my legs positioning her body between them. I sighed heavily. I ran my fingers through her hair as I gazed down at her. Jane looked up at me with eyes full of hope and excitement. She leaned in and kissed me between my breast. She ran her hands up my thighs. I sighed. She left a trail of kisses all the way down my body. I was trembling. Jane looked up at me just before she kissed between my legs. A tear ran down my cheek. She was _so_ beautiful. My heart exploded with affection and love.

"Lay back," Jane whispered.

I closed my eyes. I wrapped my hands in her hair again and slowly lowered myself on the bed.

"I love you," Jane whispered so softly I could barely hear.

I smiled. I started to respond but I cried out instead. Jane's tongue was heaven. It moved between my legs with confidence and skill unknown to me. I felt Jane spread my legs wider and push her mouth into me. I had never known this. I had never felt this. I'd had women between my legs before; but _never _like this. Jane was doing far more than just going about the motions. With her mouth she honored me. With her hands she cradled me. Her soft moans sang her pleasure. I was lost. I was falling again into that holy place. This moment in its self was holy. My pleasure built. My desperate soft moans grew louder. I lifted from this earth and flew into the heavens. There were stars. There was light. There was music. There was dancing. There was celebration. There was hope. There was victory. There was love. I saw visions of majesty. I saw oceans and planets and distant moons. I realized perfection. I understood triumph. There was no pain. My body and soul became one. Jane held be down with her strong arms despite the way my body moved against her. She controlled the motion of my hips. She fought against the trembling of my legs. She met every movement with one of her own to compliment me. I was on fire. I cried her name. I screamed I love you. I called to a God I'd never met. This moment was mine. The angels spoke my name. The ecstasy came. The earth shook. My voice cried out to the heavens in thanks and praise.

"_**Janie**_!" I screamed.

My back arched lifting me off the bed as my pleasure overcame me. I pulled Jane's mouth away from me as the orgasm consumed me. I trembled and shook. My voice was broken and strained as wave after wave of glory flooded through me. My eyes were closed tight. My breath ragged and chaotic. I was vaguely aware that Jane lifted me into her arms. I was vaguely aware of her laying me against the pillows. I felt her body cover mine. I felt her lips kiss my own. I felt her hair fall over my face. I heard her sweet words in my ear. I wrapped my arms around her back. I pulled her into me. I was still flying. I opened my eyes and saw Jane looking down at me. Her face was flushed, her smile beautiful. She cradled my face in her hands.

"You're so beautiful little angel," Jane whispered down at me.

I smiled as my face burned with the flush of the orgasm she'd just given me.

"Little angel?" I repeated.

Jane smiled sweetly at me.

"Your voice sounds like heaven when your saying my name when you're...you know...when you're happy," Jane said with that silly lopsided grin.

"You're _my_ little princess," I whispered, kissing her precious lips.

"You're _my_ little angel," Jane countered, kissing me back.

I could not have been more in love.

"Are you ready?" She whispered.

I smiled between gasping breaths. I nodded my head. I _was _ready. I spread my legs for Jane. I grasped her shoulders and trained my eyes to hers. Jane gazed down at me steadily. She smiled lovingly. She reached between her legs, lowered her hips and...

"AAAAHHHH!" I cried out.

My eyes rolled in my head, my lashes fluttered, my vision blurred.

"It's OK sweetheart...deep breaths remember," Jane whispered against my lips.

I sighed and moaned. Jane was filling me. I felt myself stretching. It hurt, it tingled, it burned...it felt...it felt _soo_ good! Jane waited for me to steady myself and for my eyes to open again. I found her studying me. She watched my face like a hawk looking for the slightest sign that I didn't want this anymore. Love poured out of me. I smiled and nodded my head slightly again. Jane smiled back. She thrust her hips forward gently. I let out a sound from the deepest part of me. I wrapped my arms around Jane. She pushed into me slowly. Her rhythm well-timed and expert. It felt _so_ good...it felt _so good_...it _felt_ so _good_..._it felt sooo GOOD!_ I bit my lip. I moaned with each thrust of Jane's strong hips. I felt her open me, I felt my juices running, my breath was heavy against Jane's lips. It was slow, it was passionate, it was _heaven_, it was _love!_

"_Baby_!" I gasped when Jane pushed further into me.

The sounds escaping me were deep, rich, powerful, hungry.

"You like that?" Jane whispered in my ear.

I burned with pleasure. It was beyond language to express. I closed my eyes. Fireworks! I grasped Jane's bottom and pulled her down.

"OH! OH MY _GOD!_" I cried out frantically.

She was completely inside of me now. Tears streamed down my face. Jane found my lips and smothered them in a kiss so passionate my soul caught fire. I dug my nails into her back.

"Faster," I whispered

"_Faster_," I begged,

"**FASTER!**" I screamed.

Jane obliged me. I lost control of my body again. My muscles spasmed, my hips rocked in time with Jane's thrust, my legs trembled. I grabbed my knees and pulled my legs up and as wide as they would go. Jane was deep in a place inside me no one had ever touched. I cried out to her. I moaned and sobbed and squealed beneath her. Jane pushed into me faster and faster. Our bodies becoming a tuned rhythm of rapid motion. I held myself open for her. My voice sang to the heavens. I laughed, I cried, I _begged_, I _pleaded._ I kissed Jane over and over again between desperate rasping breaths.

"That's it..."

"_That's_ it..."

"T-T'-_THAT'S_ it..."

"JANE **baby**..._THAT'S IT!_" I screamed.

Jane moaned in my ear. Her body covered mine, her hips drove into me. I burned inside. It felt so good...it felt _so_ good!

"You're so _pretty _Maura,"

"You're so _sweet _baby,"

"I _love_ the way you scream,"

"I _love_ the way you taste,"

"I _love_ you body baby,"

"I _love_ you...I _love you_..._I love you_!" Jane whispered all these things in my ear with a desperate shaky voice as she drove me.

My center burned more and more with each precious word and the push of her hips. My pleasure grew. My heart raced. My eyes rolled in my head. Jane put every bit of her weight behind each thrust. Tears streamed from my eyes. Lights flashed, music played, voices sounded in my head. I was open for her, I was breaking for her. I saw the gates of heaven. Jane inside me was...it was everything. My voice was high and shrill and screaming. Jane's husky voice was low, and determined; her moans guttural and growling in her pleasure. She gave me everything she had. She worked me with all the power of her well toned muscled body. My head flew back, my eyes rolled, my heart soared, my toes curled. Jane's soul touched mine, our every moan and whimper compliment by one from the other. We were one. Jane pushed my limits; she explored her own. Jane touched my heart; I touched hers back. Jane kissed my lips; I kissed her harder. This...this moment...this feeling...this woman...my lust...my desire...my screams...Jane's voice in my ear...all of it was everything..._everything._..EVERYTHING!

"I love it...I LOVE it Jane...I love it...I LOVE it...I Love you...I **lOVE** YOU!" I screamed the last.

Three more powerful thrust of Jane's hips and I was over the edge. I screamed. I dug my nails deep into Jane's flesh. I heard her cry out. She pushed deep inside of me and pinned me to the bed. My legs trembled around her, everything faded away. Everything but the body on top of me, the toy deep inside of me, the spasms of my orgasm, and the screaming of my voice. I wrapped my hands around Jane's face and looked deep inside her as my orgasms came; wave after wave so powerful and intense lights flashed before my eyes and blood rushed through my body like lightning.

I know I'd soaked the sheets; but I didn't care. I couldn't help it anyway. I surrendered to that which was beyond my control. There was only me, my lover, and my pleasure. I finally fell back against the pillows exhausted and spent. Jane lay atop me, her arms wrapped around me, her toy deep inside me. I ran my fingers through her hair as Jane rested. Her skin was slick with sweat, her chest heaved. I could feel her heart beat against my own. I kissed her neck many times. I whispered thanks and praise in her ear. I held her, I coddled her, I comforted her. I locked my feet and let Jane rest between my legs.

I'd never known true beauty until this night. I'd never known true love until this moment. I'd never felt so much pain and so much pleasure at once. I imagined so many things about my future with Jane. I thought of her smiling face whenever I would come home. I thought of Angela in her arms. I thought of arguments over what movie we wanted to see or what we wanted for dinner. I thought of many years from now; sitting with Jane on a porch somewhere watching our children play in our yard. Children? Yes _children_! I smiled. I wanted _lots_ of them with Jane. I wanted many nights just like this one. I wanted to grow old with her, to love her always, to walk through life with my better half at my side. I thought many things as I lay; spent and satisfied. I'd never felt so good. This felt _sooo_ good! We fell asleep without another word. We dreamed good dreams of love, pleasure, and understanding.


	17. Homecoming

**Maura**

Jane was in a panic. It was early Friday morning and Angela was coming home today! Jane woke up at four thirty this morning near tears and wailing about everything we didn't have for the baby and how much we needed to do to get ready for Angela. I was exhausted; beyond exhausted. I'd tried for fifteen minutes to keep Jane in bed with me; but she'd wiggled, squirmed, and wailed so much I just gave up and tumbled out of bed with her. I could hear Jane running around the apartment and exclaiming loudly about everything in the apartment that was suddenly not baby proof or hazardous the entire time I was in the shower. I took a long shower. Most of the time I just stood under the jets leaning against the glass with weary eyes and a drooping head wishing I could just crawl back into bed and sleep a while longer. My body was still aching inside and out from making love to Jane all day yesterday and the night before. We'd only slept five hours last night and I was dying inside. My vagina throbbed. I'd taken two aspirin already to fight some of the pain in my muscles and my insides. I just wanted to sleep!

I chuckled at one point when Jane burst into the bathroom wailing about how we needed to move Angela's crib into our room so we could be close to her at night. I'd sighed, I didn't even bother arguing. I just conceded to Jane's wishes. It was too stressful arguing with Jane when she was in this state. I'd make a case later about how Angela could sleep in her own room and survive the night. But for the moment; I'd let Jane have her way. I knew she was reliving the trauma of why Angela was in the hospital in the first place. Jane was consumed with worry and the idea of her daughter being out of her sight was driving her crazy. Angela was not my blood child; but Jane was mine and by extension so was Angela. I wondered if every father figure felt the heavy burden I was feeling under the pressure of caring for a child and for a woman that had lost her mind with worry. I wanted to stay in the hot shower forever but Jane burst into the bathroom again.

"Come ON Maura, we have so much to _do_! You're not that big...it can't possibly take forty minutes for you to wash your tiny body! You're moving as slow as your turtle!" Jane wailed.

I rolled my eyes and turned off the shower jets. I willed myself not to grumble and curse. I opened the shower door and stepped out grabbing a towel from the hook and wrapping my naked wet body.

"Bass is a_ tortious_ Jane; and the correct sentence structure would be 'You're moving as slow-_ly_ as your tortious,'" I corrected.

Jane looked like she could spit fire.

"_Really_...freaking _really_! You're worried about _grammar_ when we have so much to _do!_" she hissed at me.

I looked at her and chuckled. Her arms were stuffed full of baby essentials. Diapers, wipes, baby powder, bottles, a bib, a small towel, a stuffed elephant, and two or three baby outfits.

"Honey, what's all that for? We packed Angela's baby bag yesterday! All we have to do is walk out the door." I sighed looking at my hysterical girlfriend struggle with her burden.

"What if we don't have enough stuff? I'm just making sure we don't run out of anything."

I smiled at Jane. Her brow was furrowed with worry and her eyes were watering like she wanted to cry. I loved her so much. I walked to her and started pulling things out of her arms and setting them on the counter. Jane resisted at first but I gave her my most firm expression. I pulled the container of baby wipes from her arms.

"There's five _hundred _wipes in here sweetheart...I don't think Angela is going to go number two five hundred times between the hospital and home!" I said.

Jane turned red.

"What if she has diarrhea?" Jane wailed.

"Jane...Angela's body isn't big enough to produce enough excrement that we would need five hundred wipes to clean her!" I insisted.

"You've never _seen_ her poop! It's like a _volcano_ erupted in her diaper sometimes!" Jane exclaimed.

I giggled. I pulled the huge bottle of baby powder from her hands.

"We bought this from Ollies...this is enough baby powder for months. This isn't travel sized honey and Angela will be potty trained before we use all of this!" I insisted.

Jane frowned.

"I don't want her to get a diaper rash!"

I sighed heavily. I closed my eyes and reminded myself that Jane was a mother and mothers worried beyond reason.

"There is a small bottle of baby powder in her diaper bag...that will be enough until we get her home little princess!"

"But..."

"..._Jane!_ Trust me!" I started pulling everything out of Jane's arms as she wailed and protested.

"We will take this." I said holding up the stuffed elephant.

I looked at it, it was adorable. Jane pulled it out of my hands and cradled it against her chest.

"He is kind of cute! I could never afford stuff like this before...but I think we should take the clothes too because..."

"..._Jane_! There are three outfits in the bag already! We're not taking anything else." I sighed scooting everything behind me on the counter and standing in front of it protectively so Jane couldn't grab at it.

Jane looked miffed.

"I'm just trying to be prepared! I put her baby carrier by the door, I put an extra blanket in there. I got her stroller ready, I put an extra blanket in there too. I checked her diaper bag again...I put an extra sippy cup in there just in case..."

"...Jane!" I exclaimed grabbing my girlfriend by the shoulders and shaking her slightly to get her attention.

"Everything is going to be_ fine_. We're going to pick up Angela and bring her home and love her to death!" I insisted.

Jane's eyes went wide.

"I don't want her to _die!"_ Jane said hysterically. "Addison said she was better! She said she'd be ok we just have to keep her incisions clean and take her temperature every two hours and feed her soft foods and..."

I sighed and hung my head. Playing daddy was exhausting and the baby wasn't even home yet. I interrupted Jane's hysterical rant.

"..That was a figure of speech Jane, everything is fine! _Calm down_!" I pleaded, kissing Jane's forehead and smiling at her worried face.

Jane's eyes were desperate and worried still but she smiled at me anyway. My heart melted. I kissed her cheek and brushed her lips with my thumb.

"Will you help me move her crib when you're done getting dressed?" Jane asked timidly.

"Baby, of course!" I said pulling Jane into my arms and hugging her tightly.

Jane fell into me. I pulled the stuffed animal from her hands and held her closely against me. I smiled when I felt Jane's lips kissing my neck. My skin erupted in goosebumps. I thought of last night and why I was so tired and my body hurt so much. I smiled.

"You were wonderful last night," I whispered in Jane's ear.

I felt Jane giggle.

"So were _you,_ Maura" Jane kissed me deeply.

"I'm so happy Angela is coming home today. I love you so much...you're such a good daddy!" Jane smiled wrapping her arms around my neck lovingly.

I beamed at her.

"I love my baby and my baby's baby!" I said kissing Jane's lips again.

She moaned softly and grabbed at my towel pulling it so it fell to the floor. I giggled.

"Baby, not again! I can't take it sweetheart. My body needs to heal!"

Jane pouted.

"We might not get another chance for a while. Angela is...she's a handful!" Jane wailed.

"She's just a little baby how much of a handful can she be? I'll _always_ find time for you honey!" I cooed at Jane.

Jane looked doubtful but she smiled at me anyway. Since two nights ago when we made love the first time we hadn't done much else besides talk about Angela and prepare for her to come home. Well, we fought too!

The fighting started when I bought Angela's new diaper bag from Luis Vuitton on the way home from the hotel. Despite how worried she was that we didn't have everything we needed for the baby; Jane had no problems expressing her disbelief that I'd spent so much on a diaper bag. I'd only rolled my eyes and insisted Angela should have the best! We had another huge argument when I tried to give Jane a credit card for anything she might want to buy for Angela or herself in the future. That was met with such a heated furious reaction from Jane she literally snapped the card in half. I'd only been thinking of Jane and Angela. I thought Jane would feel more secure and worry less if she knew she had money to fall back on since it was _she_ panicking every five minutes about ever thing under the sun. But I was wrong...very very wrong!

**Yesterday Afternoon:**

**Maura**

"You cannot be _serious _Maura!" Jane spat at me.

She'd snatched the card from my hand, snapped it in half, and threw the broken pieces across the room like a frisbee. My eyes were wide with disbelief and confusion.

"What's wrong?" I asked incredulously.

Jane was shaking in her fury. Her brows were furrowed, her lips were curled, and her hands were formed in tight fists at her side.

"I don't need a credit card from you on top of everything else! Angela has everything she needs already!" Jane exclaimed.

I rolled my eyes.

"You're the one worrying about not having enough things, Jane. Isn't that what you were wailing about five minutes ago. I give you a credit card and you start acting like the sky is falling! It was just to make sure that you and she are taken care of when I'm away. You know I'm leaving for Boston next week for a few days and anything could come up! It's just a security blanket; what is the problem?" I said rubbing my temples.

What _was _the problem? Why was it such a fight to give Jane things? She was my girlfriend now after all; isn't this what girlfriends do...take care of one another?

"Maura! You don't have to give me money ok! I'll be working soon and I'll buy Angela what she needs myself!" Jane raved.

I sighed heavily.

"As long as Angela is under _my_ roof and under _my _protection I will provide for her _and _for you...my _girlfriend_!" I yelled back.

I was growing furious with Jane's stubbornness.

"You _have_ already. We live here, you built a fairy wonderland in her room, she's got more clothes and toys and shoes than I had my whole life growing up! You don't need to do anything else but love me Maura!"

"I _do _love you Jane...at least I'm _trying_ to love you! You have to _let _me! You_ have_ to stop pushing me away every time I try and express my love for you!"

"_That's _not an expression of _love_ Maura, Jesus!" Jane raged pointing at the credit card pieces across the room.

"What _is_ it then Jane since you know my mind better than I do!" I hissed.

I was growing more and more offended by Jane's reaction. What was wrong with her that she couldn't accept a simple gift? You would think I was asking her to take drugs by the way she was behaving. Jane threw up her hands and mumbled curses under her breath as she glared at me.

"What's that Jane?" I mocked her, "I can't hear your lame excuses anymore,"

An expression came over Jane's face that looked like the deepest loathing. I stood my ground. I would not back down. I was trying to do my duty as a girlfriend despite how pig-headed she seemed to be.

"Money is _not_ an expression of love Maura!" Jane's voice was icy along with her eyes.

"I'm not a baby! I'm not _helpless!"_ Jane said through clenched teeth.

"What are you talking about? Who said anything about you being helpless? Don't put words in my _mouth_ Jane!"

"Don't put credit cards in my_ hand_ Maura!" Jane spat back.

"I'm just trying to _help_ you Jane. I need to know when I leave town and an emergency comes up you have a way to afford whatever you might need!" I insisted.

I was growing so frustrated I was clenching my jaw and waiving my hands around wildly. Jane growled and paced around the room.

"What could possibly happen that I need a credit card with a ten thousand dollar limit? What you're really saying is that you don't _trust_ me to take _care_ of myself!" Jane hissed.

I sighed and tried to reach for Jane. She stepped back and eyed me angrily. My heart broke. I didn't want her to be angry; I just wanted to _love_ her. I loved her _so_ much. I studied her furious features for long moments. She was looking at me with so much rage it shattered something inside of me. I couldn't look at her anymore. I couldn't stand to see her expression when hours before she looked at me with so much love when she was inside of me. I walked to the couch, sat down, and hung my head. I bit my fingers to keep from crying. What was I doing wrong? What had I said to make Jane look at me with so much loathsome hate? Why was she hurting me when I loved her so much? Why was I failing, how was I failing, I always failed. Tears rolled down my face. I bit my fingers harder. I didn't want Jane to see me cry but the pain was just so much.

I felt long fingers on my shoulders. I felt them run through my hair and a kiss on the top of head. I closed my eyes and sighed.

"I...I shouldn't have yelled at you Maura. I'm sorry baby. I know you're just trying to help but..."

Jane bowed to her knees behind me. I felt her lips on my ear. I trembled. Even now her touch moved me to passion and filled me with love.

"...I'm already so happy with you Maura. It just feels like...when you try and give me money all the time it makes me feel like you want to change me! That I'm not good enough for you. It feels like you don't think I can take care of Angela by myself and like I'm stupid and needy or something."

I closed my eyes. Jane's voice was soft, sad, and broken. There was pain in her voice...I could hear it as plain as day. Whatever Jane was feeling by me offering her money had nothing to do with me. It was something inside of her. Some insecurity she had long before she met me. Perhaps I'd been overly presumptuous in presenting her with a credit card before speaking to her about it first; but the core of the issue lay with Jane and not myself. How could Jane still think I didn't love her exactly the way she was? How could Jane think I didn't trust her to care for her child? Had I not defended her to the social worker? Had I not done everything in my power to ensure than Jane kept custody of her child? Had I not told her over and over that I loved her and I believed in her and how wonderful she was? Did Jane not hear me when I said those things? The pain inside her must be overwhelming for her to think I thought she was stupid. Knowing this only made me more sad. It broke my heart. How could I fix this? How did I heal such a pain? I'd tried everything already but I was doing something wrong. Jane was right. She needed much more than my money. I couldn't swipe a credit card to fix this. No amount of money could plug this hole.

"Come sit with me sweetheart," I said softly.

My voice sounded tired and weary. Jane walked around the couch and sat next to me. She picked at her fingers and let her hair fall in her face so she couldn't see me. I knew she was hiding her emotions. She didn't want to talk about her pain. She didn't want me know it existed. She wanted to keep it bottled up inside of her where she thought it was safe. Jane's pride was admirable but crippling at times. I knew she was feeling weak and needy. Vulnerable and embarrassed. I hated seeing her like this. I loved my grinning, loud, boisterous Jane with her silly jokes and bright smile. But Jane's pain was a part of her; some dark shadow neither of us could escape. I wanted the best of Jane; but the worst was something I couldn't escape.

I turned sideways on the couch, pulled Jane into me, and lay back against the pillows. I wrapped my legs around Jane's waist and she pulled her feet up on the couch. I stroked her chin and kissed her head many times as we lay in each others arms. Jane nuzzled her face in my neck and kissed me. I sighed. I pulled her head back by her hair and looked loving at her. Jane smiled up at me. I kissed her lips long, deep, and hard. I felt Jane's body rise and push into me. A soft moan escaped her mouth. My eyes closed, my passion came. I was lost in her again. _Again_! It never stopped, it never ended, my love for Jane...my desire to have her still hadn't run dry despite the fact that we'd made love already when we came home earlier. But despite my arousal I would not let her distract me. Loving Jane was more than incredible earth shattering sex. Loving Jane was understanding her, healing her, being able to communicate with her even when she wanted to hide and run away. Jane didn't let me run from my pain...I wasn't going to let her run from hers.

"You know that's not true don't you sweet heart? You know I love you don't you? I love you just the way you are. You're far from stupid, I have no desire to change you, and I know you're a wonderful mother! Why would you think other wise? What am I doing wrong for you to think anything different?" I asked softly stroking Jane's cheek as I gazed down at her.

Her brown eyes filled with tears. She lowered her head and wiped them away quickly. Jane lay her head on my chest and sighed. I kissed the top of her head and waited for her to speak.

"I can't give you stuff like you give me, Maura. I can't buy you all the stuff you like or give you cash when you need it or anything like that. When you try and do it for me...it feels unfair. It feels like I'm constantly taking and taking and never giving back. My mother raised me to be an independent woman! I'm poor but I'm not needy! I can't have you thinking I'm a gold digger and I don't want to feel like one. I feel weird enough already! I'm wearing shoes that cost more than my rent!" Jane exclaimed.

I chuckled.

"You love those shoes," I smiled.

"Yeah! But that's not the point!" Jane protested.

"You're not a gold digger Jane. You've never asked me for a dime. What I give you I give you because I love you. And you have given me more than you'll ever know. I told you already...you're my hero. You give me strength, you give me courage, you make me laugh, you fill my house with joy and noise and even chaos sometimes. You make me try new things, you teach me to be patient. You bought me a bike," I giggled.

"Yeah and then you tried to kill me while you were learning to ride!" Jane laughed.

I laughed with her.

"That was the sweetest most sincere gift anyone has ever given me,"

"Don't lie!" Jane grumbled, "I bought it at Dicks Sporting Goods with the money _you_ gave me!"

"It doesn't matter how much it cost or how you earned the money to buy it. You thought enough of me to buy me a bike because you wanted to teach me to ride. You picked it out yourself in my favorite color and I love it. It's the best gift I've ever received because it came from your heart. It means you listen when I talk. It means you care enough to try and teach me what I don't know. It means you love me Jane Rizzolli and I love you too. You tried to make me dinner that time..."

"...and almost burned the hotel to the ground!" Jane sighed.

I laughed.

"There's a very advanced fire suppression system in the building. The point is you tried because you wanted to make me happy. You tried to teach me to play basketsball..."

"...Maura! It's basketball not basketsball!" Jane wailed.

"Whatever! The point is you took the time to teach me something I didn't know, even though I'm not very accomplished at it..."

"...you_ sucked_ at it babe!" Jane giggled.

I smiled.

"You stood up to my mother. You get jealous over me sometimes..."

"...that bell boy was staring at your titts! Only I get to do that!" Jane grumbled.

I kissed the top of her head.

"You stood right by me at the fundraiser and never left my side. You made me be strong and go back after that awful thing happened and I'm so proud of myself for having the courage to do that. You entertained my guest when I was too sad and awkward to do so myself!"

"Yeah what the hell was that all about? Why are you so weird around people? You're not like that with me at all!" Jane exclaimed looking up at me curiously.

I gave her a painful smile.

"You heard the story my mother told. You saw what she was like. Growing up with a mother like mine, having a stutter as a child, and being teased constantly damaged me. I never make friends easily."

"But you don't stutter now and you're a grown woman. And you're funny sometimes and sweet! You gotta stop second guessing yourself. You've got a lot more to offer than you think. I love you to death and I've only known you a couple weeks. Give yourself a chance sheesh!"

I smiled at Jane.

"See...you say things like that. You encourage me and you mean it. You're wonderful and I love you. So don't ever fool yourself into thinking you're just a taker in this relationship because you're not. It offends me that you think that because I'm not an idiot Jane. I know a gold digger when I see one...trust me I've met thousands of them! But you're going to have to work with me here. I can't stop being wealthy. Like it or not you're a part of my life now and I'll provide for you. Tomorrow after we bring Angela home and interview for nannies I want you to sit with me while I call my accountant. I want to order another credit card for you." I said kissing Jane's dark curly head again.

"What!" Jane exclaimed sitting up and looking at me in bewilderment.

"Jane..._please!_" I begged.

"Interview for _nannies_?" Jane hissed.

I faltered for a moment. I wanted to bring up the subject of a nanny differently but I'd said it now and I had to deal with it. Jane's expression said she thought I was crazy. I sighed and steeled my nerves. I knew another fight was coming.

"I feel like it would be best to hire a nanny for Angela when you start work." I said confidently.

I couldn't appear to be weak in my opinion.

"NO!" Jane said firmly laying her head back on my chest.

I rolled my eyes. Of course this wasn't going to be easy.

"Jane, honey Angela is too young for day care. Even though she coming home she's still susceptible to infection while her body is healing. She needs rest and a clean environment. Day cares are a breeding ground of germs. When she's older we'll look into day care. I have some in mind but we don't need to worry about it right now." I said as I curled my fingers in Jane's hair.

"Angela does not need a nanny! I'll stay home until you say she won't get sick but babies get sick sometimes, Maura! And she needs to play with other children and socialize and stuff. I don't want my daughter turning into a pampered nanny baby that grows into a snob, treats people like crap, and expects people to wait on her hand and foot! I'd _die_ if that happened. NO nanny!" Jane insisted.

I sighed.

"Jane, I don't treat people badly and I had a nanny. Am I a snob?" I asked curiously.

"NO! But you get real mad sometimes and you tried to fire that bell boy for nothing. And you don't know how to ride a bike, you don't watch cartoons, you don't know what a meat lover's pizza is, you missed out on a lot and I want my kid to be normal. She's a Rizzolli and we Rizzolli's are a working class resilient people. I'm not keeping her in a bubble Maura. She can go to freaking day care it won't kill her,"

"Jane...she's too_ young _right now. She doesn't even speak yet. She couldn't tell us if she were being molested or someone hurt her or anything like that! I'm not against it in the future but for now I'd feel more comfortable if she had a nanny while you and I work in the day. And some nights when I want to take you out! Unless you don't want to work then _you_ can stay home with Angela. Still I'd like to have a nanny on call in case you want some time to yourself." I sighed.

"Do I look like a freaking housewife?" Jane frowned up at me.

I giggled.

"I haven't asked you to marry me...yet!" I teased tickling Jane's sides.

Jane laughed and squirmed on top of me.

"But you'd be the sexiest house wife on all of Madison Avenue sweetheart!" I cooed at Jane.

"Stop Maura...and I'm not staying home. I _want _to work." Jane frowned at me.

"Then you work..._and _we hire a nanny!" I said firmly.

Jane rolled her eyes.

"Let's compromise. Let's just interview some candidates and you can see how you feel about them. You can pick whomever you like. You'll be their boss! How do you like that?" I smiled.

A wide grin split her face.

"I get to be the boss?"

"Yes baby...you're the boss!" I said kissing her sweetly.

"I wanna be _your _boss too!" Jane said in her sexiest voice.

Jane sat up and tore at my shirt. Her eyes burned with lust. I moaned softly. I was powerless to fight my desire for her. Jane was cursing at the buttons of my blouse. Her shaky fingers unable to undo them fast enough for her liking. I giggled. I tried to help her but our fingers kept getting tangled together and Jane swore all the louder. I giggled and laughed at her frustration. Jane grimaced at me, grabbed me around the waist, pulled me into her arms, sat back on the couch and ripped my shirt open. Buttons flew everywhere. I squealed in my shock. Jane's face split in half in a triumphant grin. She grabbed my bra and ripped it open, pulling it over my shoulders roughly and tossing it over the back of the couch. I was beyond shocked. My eyes were wide and I grabbed Jane's shoulders for balance.

"_Janie,"_ I exclaimed breathlessly.

Jane held me by the waist and studied me; running her eyes over my breasts and smiling.

"Honey, I _loved _that shirt," I wailed.

Jane's expression was devilish.

"I love _this_," she said with a voice low and thick with arousal.

Jane pulled me to her and slipped my breast in her mouth.

"OH..._God!_" I wailed in a high-pitched crying voice.

My hips swirled and pushed into Jane instinctively. I grabbed the back of her head and pulled her hair hard. Jane's head flew back and she cried out. I wrapped my hand around her neck and squeezed just enough to hold her there. Jane's eyes were wide with shock. Then her expression turned back into lust and hunger. She tried to speak but I squeezed her neck harder.

"You owe me for that shirt..._I'm_ the boss now"

My voice was low and dangerous. Jane tried to grab at my breasts again but I slapped her hand away. Jane's expression turned into a pout. I leaned in, never letting go of her neck. I let my breasts brush the side of Jane's face enjoying the sigh that would have escaped her mouth if I hadn't been holding her neck so tightly. I leaned down and whispered in her ear.

"You _owe_ me for that shirt!" I said again.

Jane's entire body tensed. I pulled back and ripped Jane's own shirt open in one fell swoop. Jane cried out. I smiled.

"Take it off," I commanded.

"Mau..."

"..._Don't _talk!" I spat at her.

Jane stopped speaking mid word.

"Take it _off,_" I repeated.

Jane didn't hesitate. She pulled off her shirt and her bra and sat back smiling at me. She was so sexy. I wrapped my arms around her again and our bodies crashed together in a renewed heated frenzy. I roll off the couch and we crashed to the floor never breaking the kiss. I straddled Jane and ripped at her belt.

"You're a bad little girl," I whispered as my slid my body over hers.

Jane scratched at my back and moaned in my ear.

"I'm _your_ bad little girl!" Jane whispered in a shaky desperate voice.

"You're going to do as I say now! _I'm _the boss!" I whispered against Jane's lips.

Jane whimpered beneath me but her body rose, letting me know she was mine.

"Punish me baby," Jane whispered.

Desire ripped through me. My center raged with arousal. I felt my underwear dampen and my skin flush with the heat coursing through me. Jane's eyes were low, her breath unsteady, her lips trembling. I tore into her. I ripped her pants down over her hips roughly and ran my fingers through her slit lightly, teasing her. Jane whimpered and wailed and squirmed on the carpet. I loved the way she whispered my name. I loved the way she tangled her fingers in her hair and bit her lip. I loved the way she smiled at me when I ripped her pants off her body completely. I loved the sound she made when I spread her legs and lay between them taking her breast into my mouth. I loved the way her back arched and her thighs moistened. I loved the way she squealed and moaned and laughed as I teased her clit with my knuckle. I nipped at her lips and covered her body with my own. I loved the feeling of Jane's nails in my back and the way she begged me to take her.

I smiled and kissed her deeply. I ran my hands up and down her thighs loving the way Jane squirmed and shuddered. I kissed her breasts and Jane sighed in my ear. Jane touched me everywhere. She kissed everything she could reach. Jane's touch felt like heaven but this was a far different passion than when she was between my legs with her toy. Jane was saying dirty things to me. Wicked things. Things I'd never heard before. Things that made my blood burn. Things that made my thighs shake. Things that made my juices flow. Things that made me want her, to take her, to ravage her. I absorbed her dirty words. My hands caressed Jane's sexy body. My eyes studied every part of her. I watched her body wiggle and her hips sway. I felt her nipples harden between my fingers. I felt how slick Jane's thighs had become. I moaned in her ear.

"Are you wet for _me_ baby?" I whispered against her lips.

Jane whimpered as I played with her clit again. She cupped my breasts in her hands and gasped and sighed as she moistened my fingers.

"_Please baby_...I want you so bad...I _need _you so bad!" Jane's voice was pleading and desperate as she scratched at my back.

I smiled down at her and kissed her lips lightly before pulling back and looking into her gorgeous brown eyes. Our lips brushed against each other and Jane moaned softly.

"Bad-_ly_" I teased.

Jane narrowed her eyes and dug her nails so deep in my back it arched and I cried out. I looked down at her with wide eyes. Her smile was wicked.

"_Fuck_ me!" she hissed between clenched teeth.

Her eyes burned with a fire that drove me wild. Jane _loved _to be a bad girl it seemed. I smiled...I drove my fingers deep inside of her. She was so wet my fingers slid in like a knife through warm butter. My hand was instantly soaked. Jane cried out and cursed at the top of her lungs. She ripped at my back. Her nails burned my flesh but I loved it. I lay across her again and pulled her hair. I spread her legs wider with my thighs and drove into her. My thrust were hard but not to fast. I put the power of my hips behind each thrust and bit Jane's nipple as I obliged her request.

Tears streamed down Jane's cheeks. Here eyes were closed tightly. She grabbed my waist and pushed her hips into my hand every time I drove inside of her. Seeing Jane surrender and open for me was heaven. I was loving this. I loved her tears, I loved her desperate wails. I loved the way her body moved and her lips trembled. I loved the feeling of her muscles convulsing around my fingers. My hand was sopping wet inside of her, my body was on fire. I whispered dirty things in her ear. I was about to push another finger in her when Franklin Thomas ran up to us with one of Angela's new stuffed animals in his mouth. He set the bear right next to Jane's head and started humping it vigorously. My jaw dropped. Jane looked mortified. FT was making awful grunting noises on top of the bear that was twice as large as his little body. I started laughing. I laughed so hard I pulled out of Jane and rolled on my back overcome with giggles.

"**FT**!" Jane wailed.

"_Stop it!_" she screamed trying to tear the bear away from him.

FT growled and latched onto the bear trying to hold onto his prize.

"STOP...**STOP**!" Jane was hysterical.

She was squealing and shaking the bear like crazy but FT wouldn't let go. I couldn't stop laughing.

"Maura _help_ me," Jane wailed.

I couldn't move. Tears streamed down my face. Jane cursed and raged.

"What is making much noise in here?" Consuela appeared in the living room leaning on her cane.

Her eyes went wide when she saw Jane and I. Jane was naked, I was half-naked. Clothes were everywhere. Jane cried out in shock and grabbed her pants hopping around like a maniac trying to put them back on.

"You two like _rabbits_. All day making love. How come you not _tired?_ I be dead from so much sexing all the time. Miss Jane you noisy like squealing pig! I get no rest in this house now...all _day_ with the sexing! Now on floor in living room? Next you be swinging from the chandelier!" Consuela wailed.

Jane fell to the floor trying to get into her pants. She crawled around on her back trying to pull them over her hips. Her face was red and furious.

I tried to pull on my shirt but all the buttons were missing and it was hopeless. I just stood there trying not to laugh. Franklin Thomas dragged his toy in front of Consuela and continued to hump it. Consuela screeched!

"Now Diablo dog making sexing with _toys_! This _madness!_" she raved poking FT with her cane.

Jane cursed, snatched the toy from Franklin Thomas, and ran to the bedroom. She ran back out seconds later pulling a t-shirt over her head. She tossed a t-shirt to me and I covered myself quickly.

"You two have baby coming home tomorrow! You no need make love every second of every day! There other things in life besides _sexing!_" Consuela said shaking her head.

I rolled my eyes.

"Consuela we love each other," I spat.

"Yes but at least go to _bedroom_ where I not _see _you! I still _hear_ you though," she said narrowing her eyes at us.

Jane looked like she wanted to crawl under a bed and hide.

I started to speak again but FT ran into the room with Jane's gift from Albert in his mouth.

"What is _that?_" Consuela screeched.

FT was hopping around growling with his prize. My jaw dropped. I don't even know how he _got_ that. I thought I'd put it back in the box on the night stand this morning! The toy was flying around obscenely and FT was acting like it was his new favorite thing. Jane was red from head to toe. She looked frozen on the spot, her eyes wide in horror. Consuela bent over and grabbed the toy from FT and held it up studying it. Her eyes went wide when she noticed it was in the shape of a penis.

"OH! What is _dis?_ What it _for?_" She said holding it in the middle and shaking it around trying to figure out if it would do something.

The toy wobbled around in her hand. I could have passed out from embarrassment. FT was running around at Consuela's feet barking and jumping up and trying to get at the toy. Jane jumped on the couch and ran over the cushions snatching the toy from Consuela's hand.

"Don't worry about it," Jane hissed.

She grabbed my hand and dragged me into the bedroom slamming the door and leaning her back against it eyes wide in shock and horror. We stared at each other incredulously...then we both burst out laughing.

**Present Time**

**Jane**

I sat on the couch with Angela in my arms. I was feeding her oatmeal in between Franklin Thomas trying to lick it off her face.

"Go away you little vulture," I hissed at my puppy.

FT sat back on the couch cushion and barked playfully. I smiled at him. He seemed to love Angela. Ever since Maura and I walked through the door with Angela all his attention had been on her. FT followed and sat with whomever was carrying or holding her and whined every time she would squeal or cry. Consuela had raved over how beautiful she was and held her for a long time singing old Spanish songs from her childhood while she rocked my baby. I'd had to pry Angela from her arms and shoo her away to the guest room after I'd prepared Angela's lunch. Maura had been on the phone since we got back confirming interviews with various nannies recommended to her, checking their references, talking to Albert and Addison and whatever the hell else she was doing. Every now and then Maura would find her way back to the living room and smile at me while she spoke to whomever on the phone and kiss Angela's forehead before she'd wander away again and continued her business.

I couldn't stop looking at my baby. She was wearing the pink shorts and princess top Maura bought her the other day and her feet kicked in little pink and white shoes. Maura refused to let me watch TV while Angela was in the room. She put on classical music instead and insisted that it sparked certain brain waves in babies that promoted advanced brain function and encouraged bonding between parent and child. I hadn't argued much. I was happy to sit and play with my baby. I couldn't believe how healthy she looked. There was a bandage over her throat where the tracheotomy had been. Maura said she'd have to change and clean the wound daily. It made me sad to remember how damaged Angela was two weeks ago but Maura calmed me and told me that Angela was going to be fine and I should be happy. I _was _happy. I looked around the huge living room and smiled.

"This is your home now baby girl! Mommy is gonna do better for you! You have your own room and so many clothes and toys and a puppy and a turtle and a daddy that loves you and is going to give you everything in the world. You're such a lucky little girl!" I smiled, kissing Angela's head.

Angela giggled and clapped her little hands excitedly. I smiled so wide my face hurt. Franklin Thomas licked the oatmeal off her fingers.

"Go away you!" I growled at FT.

He just licked my face. I smiled.

"Janie, Angela has a high chair. Let's feed her in the kitchen ok." Maura said appearing in the living room smiling at Angela.

"Maur...we're already halfway through the oatmeal." I complained.

Maura looked at me over the rim of her reading glasses. She was wearing one of her sexy skirts and blouses that made her look powerful even though she was so much more feminine than me. Her hair was pulled back in a pin and her glasses always made her look so...sexy! She walked over to me and lifted my chin staring down at me with firm but loving eyes.

"It's not healthy to feed a child around animals. It's less likely dog dander will get into her food if she's in her high chair as verses sitting on a couch with the puppy. Besides, proper dining etiquette starts young sweetheart."

"Dining etiquette? Really...Maura she's_ one!_" I exclaimed.

Maura rose an eyebrow at me. I sighed. Maura pulled Angela from my arms and carried her to the kitchen. Angela squealed when Maura kissed her chubby little cheeks lovingly.

"You're such a big girl Angela...yes you are...you're such a big girl!" Maura cooed at Angela laughing in her arms.

Maura spun Angela around in a circle laughing and tickling her tiny body. Angela was beside herself with excitement. She wrapped her hands in Maura's hair and pulled at it giggling mischievously.

"Ow...OWWW!" Maura laughed.

She pulled Angela's hands away from her hair gently and giggled.

"Your mommy likes to pull my hair _too_!" I heard Maura whisper in Angela's ear when I walked in the kitchen with the sippy cup and the bowl of oatmeal.

"Hey!" I complained.

Maura looked at me and smiled.

"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree!" Maura winked at me.

I pouted my lips. Maura went on spinning Angela in her arms and laughing with her. Angela raised her hands in the air and made high-pitched wails. I sat in a chair and smiled from ear to ear. My heart melted watching Maura with my daughter. I'd never seen Maura smile the way she was. She looked so light and innocent. She looked so happy and free. She looked...she looked like a mom playing with her baby and I was overcome with love for both of them. Angela responded to Maura like she'd known her forever. I watched the two play with each other for several minutes until Angela spit up all over Maura's face. Thick, white, oozing goop ran down Maura's face. I covered my mouth in shock and horror. Angela giggled and rubbed her hands all over Maura's face smearing the vomit even more.

"OH GOD!" I wailed grabbing Angela from Maura's arms and setting her in her high chair.

Maura was standing in shock spitting baby vomit out of her mouth and wiping at her face with her hands. I tried not to laugh. Maura looked so ridiculous. I should have told her it wasn't a good idea to spin Angela around while she had a stomach full of oatmeal; but I'd been distracted with love and affection and the thought slipped my mind. I ran to grab a kitchen towel from the drawer.

"It's in my_ eyes_...it _burns_ Jane...it _burns_ and it smells so _bad._..it's in my _mouth_...OH GOD...it's in my _mouth_!" Maura wailed and cried.

I choked on my laughter pulling her to the sink. I pulled off her glasses that were covered in sticky oatmeal vomit. The entire left side of Maura's face was covered with the smelly gross white goo and it was dripping onto her shirt. I bit my lip. I felt horrible. We'd been home an hour and a half and already Angela had christened Maura's face with her puke.

"Baby...lean over the sink," I said with a trembling voice choking on laughter.

"It's not _funny_ Jane...it's in my MOUTH! It smells so BAD!" she wailed.

I started laughing.

"Maur come on...let me clean you up. Lean forward."

I sprayed Maura's face with the water sprayer and rubbed her back tenderly.

"It's ok sweetheart. It's ok...we'll get you another shirt." I tried to comfort Maura.

"It's on my shirt _too?_" Maura wailed.

I accidentally sprayed water down Maura's throat while she was talking and she started sputtering and coughing and choking in the sink. I quickly turned off the water and pulled her up drying her face with the towel.

"It's ok baby," I said wiping her face and her damp hair and kissing her cheeks in between giggles.

Maura coughed and choked, her entire face turning red. I sighed and kissed her all over her cheeks.

"It's just not _funny_ Jane!" Maura cried.

I could tell she was trying not to laugh too. The top of Maura's shirt was wet, her hair was damp and all over her head, her eye was red where the baby vomit had irritated it and she looked insane.

"Maura, you're so beautiful," I laughed taking Maura's cheeks in my hands and kissing her softly.

"I'm a _mess_ Janie," Maura wailed.

"Baby get changed while I feed Angela," I said turning Maura around rushing her toward the bedroom.

"I love you daddy," I said swatting Maura's butt playfully.

Maura blushed.

"I'm gonna get you for that later little princess," Maura winked at me.

It was my turn to blush.

"We'll see!" I said.

I ran back to the kitchen. My jaw dropped when I saw what was going on in there. It seemed like Angela's entire head was covered in oatmeal. While I was distracted Angela must have attacked the oatmeal with her hands and somehow turned the bowl over her head. She was wearing the bowl like a hat and licking her fingers. Frankin Thomas was standing on the tray of her high chair licking all about her face. Angela squealed and petted Franklin Thomas. His curly fur was covered in oatmeal as well as most of his head.

"OH FUCK ME!" I said throwing the towel on the floor.

Angela pulled the bowl back on her head and giggled mischievously at me. She showed her dimples and her dark eyes glowed excitedly. Her entire outfit was covered in oatmeal. She kicked her little feet in her chair as FT licked at her face and laughed petting the puppy's face with her sticky fingers. If I didn't know better I'd say she _knew_ she was making a mess and was loving it.

"Baby girl!" I wailed. "Look at you honey you're a mess!"

I moved to pick Angela up from her high chair but I slipped on some baby vomit and crashed to the floor.

"OWWW!" I wailed.

Maura came running into the kitchen in a new blouse looking beautiful again but stopped short when she saw what was going on in the kitchen.

"OH! GOODNESS!" Maura exclaimed.

"Franklin Thomas _down_!" Maura hissed running toward Angela and the puppy.

I just rolled around on the floor wailing. Maura wasn't even paying any attention to me. She was busy with the baby.

"Angela honey _look_ at you! You've got it in your hair and down your shirt and in your shoes somehow! Oh sweetheart...let me get the bowl!" Maura giggled.

I could hear Angela squealing and clapping her hands. Maura was laughing as she pulled Angela from the high chair holding her at arm's length. I rolled to my knees and wailed unhappily.

"Never mind _me._..I'll just be down here in_ pain_!" I cried.

"Honey are you ok?" Maura asked me finally.

"NO! I'm _hurting _over here," I wailed shaking my head in frustration.

"What is so much noise in here...EL DIABLO!" Consuela hissed hobbling into the kitchen on her cane.

"It wasn't him this time Consuela...this is all little Angela's work!" Maura laughed.

"Why you let little girl make mess? She covered in food! What has happened to Miss Jane?" Consuela raved.

"We got a bit distracted." Maura sighed.

Oatmeal was sliding off Angela's little head and face and landing on the floor. FT was licking it up delightedly. I think he and Angela were in cahoots. They both had an affinity for causing havoc and making messes for other people to clean up. Consuela narrowed her eyes at me as I struggled to my feet.

"You making the sexing with doctor again while baby make mess! You horny like_ toad,_" Consuela said poking at me with her cane.

"Consuela NO!" I said slapping at her cane angrily. "I was cleaning Maura's face after Angela puked on her and the baby made a mess!"

"Everything come from you messy. _You_ messy, _dog_ messy, _baby_ messy...messy messy messy!" Consuela sighed.

I rolled my eyes.

"Give her here I'll clean her up," I said walking toward Maura's outstretched arms.

Angela was squealing and smiling at Maura who was cooing loving at her filthy little body.

I was almost to Maura when I slipped on oatmeal this time and skidded across the floor crashing into the dining table and flying over it landing in a heap on the other side.

"OWWW!" I cried.

"Oh my GOODNESS!" Maura wailed running over to me.

I hissed and cursed on my back.

"Jane...watch your language in front of the _baby!_" Maura spat at me.

"Are you _serious_!" I shouted at her. "My back hurts like FUCK!"

"Jane there's no need for..."

Angela sneezed in Maura arms. Snot, oatmeal and baby spittle sprayed Maura in the face and all over her fresh clean shirt. Angela giggled and clapped her hands. Frankin Thomas pranced around by my head. Maura looked incredulous. She was spitting oatmeal and baby spittle out of her mouth. I started laughing again. I couldn't help it. I tried to get to my feet and help her but my back hurt so bad and I was weak with laugher. I couldn't move.

"OH! You messy now too!" Consuela raved.

Consuela pulled Angela from Maura's arms and carried her off to the bathroom. Maura just stood there frozen, her arms still outstretched, her eyes closed tight, her face covered in goo.

"It's in my mouth _again _Jane..._why_...WHY!" she wailed at me.

"This is my_ third _shirt today...I'm going to run out of clothes between you and Angela! It's not _fair_...it's just not _fair!_"

I crawled to my feet and pulled Maura toward the sink again. Maura's eyes were closed tightly and watering because they'd been sprayed with snot. She was walking with her hands outstretched in front of her feeling around for obstructions and wailing. I bit my lip hard to keep from laughing. I unbuttoned Maura's shirt carefully and pulled it off her body. It was silk and so was the last one Angela puked on. It would have to be specially cleaned if it could be saved at all. Maura wailed and cried as I lowered her head to the sink again and sprayed the goop off her face.

"Don't talk," I giggled.

I apologized furiously as I rinsed off Maura's face. I couldn't believe this. The kitchen was a disaster. Maura was a mess, Angela was a mess. FT had a belly full of oatmeal and we'd only been home a couple of hours. Maura had no idea what she was getting herself into by playing daddy. I pulled her up and dried her off again.

"She _hates _me Jane!" Maura cried. "I'm _terrible_ at this...she _hates _me!"

I sighed and giggled.

"Take it as a compliment Maur...Angela only pukes on people she likes!" I said wrapping Maura in a hug and laughing silently over her shoulder.

"That doesn't make any sense...she _hates _me!" Maura insisted.

"Maura that's ridiculous. She's a baby she doesn't hate anybody. Babies...they just do this kind of stuff. They sneeze and puke and mess up stuff. You're going to have to wear my t-shirts around the house so your nice clothes don't get ruined. And you gotta be careful about spinning babies around...they have tender stomachs." I said kissing Maura's lips.

Both of her eyes were red now and her bottom lip was poking out in a pout.

"She didn't puke or sneeze on _you!_" Maura wailed.

"That's because I wasn't holding her. I was busy falling all over the place slipping in her puke and her mess. My back is killing me!" I sighed.

"You should go lay down...I'll clean up Angela and the kitchen!" Maura said tenderly.

I smiled lovingly at her.

"No honey, you go take a shower...I'll clean my baby and my baby's mess." I said kissing my pretty, topless girlfriend.

I squeezed her breast playfully. I expected Maura to swat me away but she didn't. She held me gently by the waist and kissed me deeply. I loved her so much in that moment.

"It will be faster if we share the burden. Let's do the kitchen first and then the baby and the dog!" Maura whispered against my lips.

"Deal," I smiled.

...

"I'm so _tired_ Maura, " I wailed in bed late that night.

I was lying on my stomach in bed and Maura was straddling my back and massaging me gently with her smelly good oils. I sighed and groaned and moaned as Maura's nimble fingers worked out the stress and knots in my back. The day had been impossibly long. It took forever to clean Angel the first time. She had oatmeal EVERYWHERE! It was even in her diaper somehow and all in her ears and nose. It was awful and sticky and Angela squirmed and squealed in the baby tub Maura bought her. Washing Franklin Thomas was worse. He kept escaping and running away and hiding under the furniture getting soap suds and little puppy paw prints everywhere.

The interviews with the nannies were ridiculous. I thought it would be safe to let Angela crawl around her little play area closed off by the baby fence Maura bought her. But Franklin Thomas figured out how to lift the lock and Angela kept crawling off and getting lost in corners or into some other mischief. Once she crawled into Maura's closet. We heard a great crashing and found Angela and Franklin Thomas buried under a pile of Maura's heels. Angela was giggling and crying and FT was chewing on a heel. I'd been beside myself with frustration. Maura found it in her to laugh pulling a giggling Angela from the rubble of the shoes.

We put her in the play pen after that; but somehow Angela managed to flip the thing on its side and escape..._again_. We wouldn't have known Angela had broken free at all if Bass hadn't crawled into the living room covered in a powdery white substance. The nannies eyes went wide when she saw Bass. Maura panicked' I ran to Angela's playpen and cursed when I found it on its side...empty! We ran around the apartment tearing things apart looking for my daughter. I found Angela in the pantry covered in flour from head to toe. Franklin Thomas was prancing around in the flour sneezing and rolling around and licking Angela's face happily. The two of them were partners in crime. I almost started crying. Franklin Thomas ran off and left flour prints everywhere. Maura walked into the kitchen, saw my face, and sighed when she saw Angela. Maura picked her up and Angela sneezed a great gust of flour in her face. Maura was wearing her nice clothes for the interviews and now they were all covered in a thick dust of flour. Angela smiled and pulled Maura's hair. I just sighed, pulled Angela into my arms and sat down in the flour weary and exhausted. I thought Maura was going to cry. She sat next to me covered in flour. We leaned into each other and wailed various exclamations of weariness and defeat. Consuela had to kick the nannies out while Maura and I once again washed the baby, the dog, the turtle, the kitchen, and ourselves.

Maura and I didn't even eat dinner. Angela kept slinging her Spaghetti O's around and laughing at FT who licked them up happily. Maura had to change her shirt again. At least she'd taken the hint and was wearing jeans and a t-shirt now. It took forever to get Angela to calm down and go to sleep and she only did so after I put FT in her crib despite Maura's very stern protest. But the two of them curled up together and fell right to sleep and I fell onto the bed exhausted.

"Honey...we have _got_ to hire a nanny! I hate to admit it; but we've been outsmarted all day by a baby and a dog! I changed my clothes five times today! I had oatmeal in between my breasts...I don't know how it got there!" Maura wailed on top of me.

I sighed.

"Angela is just excited about being here. And she loves FT, and she's always been a bit...boisterous."

"Like her mother!" Maura cooed in my ear.

I smiled.

"Are you having second thoughts daddy," I asked playfully.

Maura kissed my back and rolled off of me.

"Never that sweetheart!" She said tickling my side.

"I read in this book that in lesbian parental relationships the father figure is often called Maddy and not Daddy! I like that better. Since my first name is Maura anyway it's like shortening Maura and daddy and making it into one." Maura said excitedly taking a book off her nightstand and opening it.

I rolled my eyes.

"You've been reading a book on lesbian parenthood?" I asked incredulously.

Maura looked at me curiously. She was wearing her reading glasses again.

"There is a wealth of literature available on the subject." Maura protested.

"What's the title of that book?"

"Lesbian Parenting, A Guide to Creating Families," Maura said casually. "It's very informative. Did you know..."

"...Maura not tonight ok! I have to get up every two hours to take Angela's temperature and check her feeding tube scar to make sure it isn't leaking. I just want to go to sleep!" I cried burying my face in the pillow.

"Of course I'll help with that, Jane. You don't have to do it yourself. If we had a nanny..."

"...enough with the nanny business," I said reaching over and putting my hand over Maura's mouth laughing playfully.

Maura narrowed her eyes at me and licked my hand. I squealed and laughed.

"Maura stop...you're so _weird!_" I giggled.

Maura rolled on top of me and kissed me.

"Shhhh baby! You'll wake the baby!" Maura whispered at me.

I smiled at her. Five minutes later I was sleeping.

I woke up at nine a.m. I sat up straight in the bed surprised by the amount of sunlight pouring into the bedroom. What was going on? Why didn't my alarm go off all night to wake me up to take care of Angela. I shot out of bed and ran to Angela's crib. It was empty. Maura wasn't in bed. I ran out of the bedroom and found Maura and Consuela in the kitchen with Angela. Maura was feeding Angela in her high chair. Angela was already dressed and giggling around her spoons full of mashed melon. Consuela was preparing bacon and eggs on the stove.

"Morning Miss Jane," Consuela smiled at me.

Maura looked over her shoulder and gave me her best grin.

"Good morning little princess. Consuela is making you breakfast. I know you're hungry...you didn't eat last night."

"Did you turn off my alarm?" I exclaimed.

"Yes...you were exhausted honey. Don't worry I got up with the baby every two hours...she's fine! Aren't you sweet heart...yes you are...you're such a pretty little girl!" Maura cooed at Angela who giggled and clapped her hands.

"Baby...you didn't have to do that, I would have gotten up!" I wailed.

"Honey you were snoring so loudly even Consuela heard you and you _never_ snore. Besides you're a grumpy person when you're tired and we've got a big day today!" Maura insisted.

"What are we doing?" I asked nervously.

"Car shopping," Maura said casually.

I narrowed my eyes.

"You have a limo driver," I said levelly.

"Yes but limo's aren't safe for children, especially babies. You need a car for Angela,"

I rolled my eyes.

"I can take Angela on the bus or take a taxi or something!"

Maura looked at me in horror. Then her expression changed into one that brokered no argument.

"Absolutely NOT!" Maura spat at me.

I sighed. I sat at the table and pouted through breakfast. Maura barely noticed. She was busy with Angela. Consuela winked at me when she laid my plate of bacon and eggs in front of me. I noticed there were a few extra strips of bacon than she normally gave me. I ate quietly while Maura chatted away about safety features of different cars. I barely heard her. I was busy working an argument in my head of why Maura didn't need to buy me a car.

"Maura, Percy drives your Mercedes too...can't Angela and I use that if we need to go somewhere?"

Maura rolled her eyes.

"What if you and I need to go somewhere different at the same time and I want to take the Mercedes? What if the Nanny needs to go somewhere with Angela while you and I are away? You're getting a car and that's final!"

I grumbled. Maura was so stubborn! When Angela was finished eating Maura pulled her from her high chair. I reached to take her but before I could Angela coughed up creamed melon all over Maura's fresh blouse.

I laughed.


	18. Would you go with me?

**Maura**

"Tell Maddy you don't want her to leave us baby girl!" Jane said in a playful childish voice behind Angela's back.

Angela giggled and crawled over to me on the bed climbing on my chest and kicking her little feet. I set my book on the nightstand, gathered her in my arms and smiled kissing her dark unruly curls and laughing at her attempts to pull my hair again. I looked over at Jane who was smiling at me playfully with narrow mischievous eyes and pouting lips. I rolled my eyes and kissed Jane softly. She opened her mouth for me and let me kiss her deeply. I sighed into the kiss, loving the way Jane's arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me closer to her.

Jane had been playing the guilt trip game for two days and it was beginning to wear on me. She was using every trick in the book to get me to stay in New York and not go back to Boston. I wished I could tell her I was going to work on her family's case; but I just couldn't do that. In the event that my efforts proved fruitless I couldn't bare breaking her heart after getting her hopes up that we might be able to find her family's killer after all. Still Jane was proving to be...persuasive. She'd taken to teasing me sexually every chance she got. She now understood that her sexuality was her crowning glory and her greatest weapon. She would push me to the brink of my desire only to pull away and say something snide and cruel like '_you'll need your rest for your trip'_ or '_if you want me you'll have to stay to have me'._ I'd gotten so frustrated with her last night I'd been force to take a shower and pleasure myself just to get some relief from Jane's horrible teasing.

It was Monday night and I was supposed to be leaving for Boston in the morning. I'd spent most of the day at the office because Jane's teasing and pouting had become cruel and unbearable. I went in to the office angry and frustrated. Jane let me shower with her this morning and feel every part of her I loved so much only to jump out the shower just when I thought she was going to let me have her. I couldn't get Jane's knowing smirk out of my mind. I had so much pent-up frustration I decided now was the perfect time to relieve some of my tension on one who'd offended me beyond belief.

**Earlier this Afternoon:**

**Maura**

"Dr. Isles, there is a Mrs. Sherri Oliver here to see you," my receptionist buzzed me on my office phone.

I smiled.

"Send her in," I said cooly.

Moments later my receptionist opened the huge double doors of my office and led Sherri inside. I didn't get up. She didn't deserve that respect. I sat in my chair leaning back casually and folding my hands in my lap. I knew my face was cold and expressionless. I was furious with Sherri over her advances toward my girlfriend. Her blatant overtly sexual conversation with Jane behind my back was enough to infuriate me to the brink of my self-control. Unfortunately for Sherri I was also frustrated with Jane's incessant sexual teasing. Those two facts together made a dangerous combination. I might have been afraid of Sherri in the past; but that person was gone. Dr. Isles had been reborn and in this moment I would show Sherri just how far I was_ not _going to be pushed any longer. Sherri was smiling when she first walked into my office; but the closer she got to my desk her expression changed into something more like nervous curiosity.

I didn't speak, I didn't move, I certainly didn't smile. I had nothing but the vilest distaste for Sherri in my heart and my mood and demeanor reflected my thoughts and feelings. Even my receptionist looked uncomfortable as she gazed at me. She introduced Sherri again and quickly scampered from the room. I didn't offer Sherri a seat. I just let her stand in front of my desk nervously fidgeting with her purse. She was refusing to meet my eyes. She looked everywhere but at me. I wondered what she was thinking. Was she wondering just how much Jane told me of her advances? Was she realizing that she'd made a mistake? Was she afraid of me? She certainly looked afraid. My heart felt like stone and ice staring down the woman that had so grievously offended me. Not just about Jane, but many many times before that for years and years. How many times had I stood nervously in front of Sherri feeling bare and stripped down? Somewhere in my heart I felt satisfaction, relief, and power.

"Your office is beautiful, Maura. It's very classy and well decorated like yourself." Sherri said finally giving me a nervous smile.

I gritted my teeth but inclined my head in thanks.

"Your fundraiser was incredible as always. You're so well connected. I'm so sorry about what happened to you with the waiter ripping your dress. If that were me I would have run like the wind and never come back..."

"...That is because you are a weak _pathetic_ little child!" I spat at her

Sherri looked taken aback. I narrowed my eyes at her.

"Tell me Sherri, how sad and lonely are you that you feel the need to come on to my girlfriend behind my back?" I said firmly.

Sherri looked bewildered. Then her eyes turned hateful and her lips quivered.

"I have a husband and three children that love me. I'm far from lonely as _you_ have always been. I don't spend my nights alone or talking to frogs in closets because I'm not a socially retarded, emotionally insecure, awkward little _freak_ that can't form a real relationship to save my life." Sherri said haughtily.

"You wish you had what I have; you've always wanted to be me but you could _never_ be me! Jane will tire of you eventually. If it's not me there will be someone else to take her from you. I could have her if I wanted; you're no competition. It's like taking candy from a baby!" Sherri laughed.

My face darkened and my eyes hardened but I smiled. I stared right into Sherri's eyes with all the hate and loathing I'd felt for her for half my life. I let her stand there for moments longer as I glared her down. She looked triumphant at first. But I never let my eyes move from hers. I showed not one sign of embarrassment or fear. I was that person no longer. Sherri began to look nervous again. She'd expected me to cower as I always had. My cold stare was unnerving to her. I widened my smile. I leaned over my desk folding my hands in front of me.

"You _are _lonely, sad, and emotionally insecure. Unfortunately for you I am no longer any of those things thanks to my _girlfriend_, Jane." I emphasized the word girlfriend and glared hatefully at Sherri as I did so.

"You're right...I could never be you and why would I want to be? You have nothing. No career, no accomplishments, no goals; you're _nothing_! You _do _have a husband that drinks, cheats, and gambles your money away...yes I know about your family's debt! I have to force my girlfriend to accept anything from me while your husband blows through your money like drinking water."

Sherri turned bright red. Her eyes filled with fury and embarrassment.

"My family has just acquired a wealthy new investor. My father's business is secure. And you have_ no _right to talk about my husband that way...you don't know him..."

"...I _do _know him. He _works_ for me...that is he _worked _for me in the past tense. I fired him this morning for possession of illegal drugs. I got a tip that he was doing drugs on the job. Did you know about the cocaine habit? Never mind don't answer that..."

I'd had James ask his private investigator to dig up any and all dirt on Sherri when Jane told me what she said to her. It only took two days for the PI to come back with a wealth of damaging information about Sherri's entire family.

"...You _can't_ fire him. He _needs _this job!" Sherri said hysterically.

Sherri looked near tears. Her eyes were bright and wide in panic. Her shoulders slumped, her lips trembled; I smiled.

"I'm well within my rights to fire an employee for possession of illegal drugs in my building. I can't be seen to tolerate such distasteful habits. I didn't call the police or have him arrested; take comfort in that. The embarrassment to your father and your children would be irreparable I imagine. Your father is well known for his extreme right wing conservative views." I said pointedly.

Sherri hung her head. There was nothing she could say. She knew I was right.

"Exposing your sham of a marriage and your husband's many faults would damage your father's image; something he doesn't take lightly. I'm told he is pushing for a seat in the state senate come the next election. What would happen if certain skeletons were to tumble out of certain closets? Such humiliation might even sway your father to void your trust fund and write you out of your inheritance." I said casually.

Sherri looked shaken. Being left destitute was her worst nightmare. She had nothing to fall back on besides her father's money. She'd accomplished nothing on her own. She'd devoted her entire life to looking down on others and leaning on her family's good name. The thought of being stripped of everything that held her together was devastating to her. I paused to let Sherri stew in my words. I suppressed a smile of satisfaction. I earned this. I'd endured a life time of torment from this woman. I deserved this moment.

"Your father's company received a ten million dollar investment yesterday morning correct? Enough to cover the debts and keep the factories from closing."

Sherri's face faltered. She was wondering how I knew so much.

"Yes," Sherri said curiously.

"The donation was given in exchange for stock in the company correct?" I asked, enjoying the way Sherri's face looked shocked and afraid.

"Yes,"

"What percentage of the company does the investor own?" I smiled.

"Twenty five percent," Sherri said with a shaky voice.

"That's interesting because I just bought twenty-_six_ percent of the shares in your father's company this morning. I bought them cheap; your share holders have lost faith in Oliver Enterprises. They were all very happy to sell. So my twenty-six percent along with the twenty-five percent I received for my investment makes me the majority shareholder of Oliver Enterprises. Isn't that exciting?" I sat back laughing in my chair.

Sherri looked like she didn't understand what I was saying at first. Then she looked like she wanted to vomit.

"You..._you're_ the investor?" Sherri squeaked.

"I am! I own Oliver Enterprises...I _own_ you!" I smiled cruelly at Sherri's wide disbelieving eyes.

"I believe this calls for a celebration!" I said happily as I stood and moved toward my small office bar.

"This is a Burgundy wine," I said happily pouring two glasses.

"It's my girlfriend's favorite," I smiled handing a glass to Sherri.

I sipped from my glass and closed my eyes. It tasted like victory, it taste like satisfaction, it tasted like sex, it tasted like Jane. I opened my eyes and stood staring Sherri down. Her face had gone pale and her hands were trembling.

"Perhaps you don't like fine wine," I said taking Sherri's glass and setting it on my desk.

"You won't be able to afford it anyway once I'm finished selling off your father's company in pieces at cost. I'm not interested in making a profit. I'll be happy to break even. I _could_ turn the company around and make it successful again; I just don't think it's worth my time." I said sitting on my desk and sipping my wine again.

Tears ran down Sherri's cheeks.

"P-P-Please, Oliver Enterprises is my family's legacy," Sherri whispered.

I smiled.

"I could be persuaded to remain a silent partner on one or two conditions." I said casually.

"What do you want?" Sherri pleaded.

I smiled. I leaned close to Sherri putting my lips right next to her ear. I enjoyed the way she trembled.

"Stay _away_ from my girlfriend and stay _away _from me! If I ever so much as _hear_ of you anywhere near Jane again...well...I'll introduce you to the _new_ Maura Isles. I promise; you won't like her! Certain secrets you'd rather remain unknown might just come to light. I might suddenly be overcome with the urge to sell Oliver Enterprises to your father's competitors." I whispered in Sherri's ear.

I leaned back and looked at her again. Her head was bowed and her face was red with fury and embarrassment.

"Get the hell out of my office," I whispered dangerously.

Sherri turned and ran bursting into tears as she did so. I sat in my chair and kicked my feet up on my desk finishing my glass of wine and savoring every drop. Besides the wine I shared with Jane the first time we made love...it was the best wine I'd ever tasted in my life.

**Present time:**

**Maura**

I'd returned home from tearing Sherri to shreds around dinner time to find Jane feeding Angela in the kitchen. Jane was wearing nothing more than the silk negligee she wore the first night we made love. My desire for her hit me immediately as I stared at her. Only it was ten times stronger after having so successfully thwarted that evil Sherri's attempts to take what was mine. I didn't feel badly for what I'd done to Sherri. If she wanted to play dirty...I would play dirty too!

I smiled at Angela and brushed her dimpled cheeks as I stood over Jane. I tilted her head back and kissed her sweet lips gently several times. Jane smiled and let me run my fingers over her breasts. I wanted everything from Jane. I wanted what she had denied me since Friday afternoon. I wanted what Sherri wanted but would never have. I wanted Jane's legs around my waist and her voice screaming in my ear. I wanted to put Angela in her play pen, bend Jane over the table, and have my way with her. But she was not finished punishing me yet. Jane pulled my hands from her breast, sat me down, and served me roast beef, carrots, and mashed potatoes that she made herself. Jane watched me eat excitedly giggling every time I took a bite. I didn't realize how hungry I was. I tore into Jane's home-made meal like a woman possessed. I'd tasted fine dining all over the world, but this was the best meal I'd ever eaten. Angela kicked her feet in her high chair and smiled between her tiny bites of mashed potatoes and mashed peas.

"Do you like it, Maura?" Jane asked me many times.

I smiled every time she asked.

"I love it baby," I would say and squeeze her leg under the table.

"I followed a recipe this time so I didn't burn the apartment down," Jane said proudly.

I smiled at Angela who had mashed potatoes in her hair somehow.

"I think Angela loves your mashed potatoes," I laughed.

Jane looked miffed.

"Baby girl you're so messy. I turn my back for two seconds and you're covered in _food_!" Jane wailed.

Angela squealed. I rolled my eyes.

"She's a baby honey," I stated bluntly.

Jane frowned at me.

"What happened to _'dining etiquette starts young'_" Jane mocked in a high effeminate voice that I imagined was supposed to be mine.

I pinched Jane's butt. She swatted my hand away angrily but smiled despite herself.

"None of that from you," Jane teased. "Save that shit for your girlfriend in Boston,"

I almost choked on my roast beef.

"Don't do that Jane," I warned "There _are_ no other women and don't curse in front of Angela,"

Jane just turned up her nose at me. She gathered Angela in her arms, pecked me on the lips, and carried Angela off for a bath. I watched them go smiling widely. I couldn't take my eyes off Jane's sexy legs. I imagined them around my waist again. I turned back to my dinner and ate every bite as I read the paper peaceful and content as I had never been before. For the first time in my life I felt like I was home. Now we lay in bed. Jane was still dressed in that sexy negligee teasing me and pleading for me to stay in New York.

"Baby if you stay I'll make you dinner every night and let you have me whenever you want," Jane said running her hand up her leg and pulling the hem of her negligee just below the space between her legs.

I bit my lip. I turned Angela's head so she couldn't see her mother's devilish smile. I wanted to say yes. I wanted to give in to Jane's every desire. But it had become a contest of wills. Besides that; I was only going to Boston to help Jane...she just didn't know it.

"Jane you _know_ I have to work," I sighed heavily.

Angela squirmed on top of me and patted my cheeks. I giggled at her and tickled her sides. Angela squealed. Jane rubbed Angela's back lovingly.

"She loves you Maura...look how happy she is. It will break her heart if you leave her!" Jane smiled knowingly.

Jane knew how much I hated it when she threw Angela in the mix. I rolled me eyes.

"You know I don't want to leave you Jane. But you know I work in Boston. In five weeks I'm going back to work full time," I sighed heavily.

Jane pouted.

"I'm sure your girlfriend on the side will love that," Jane said snidely.

I looked at her incredulously.

"_Excuse _me?" I spat at her.

Jane only shrugged her shoulders.

"I'm just saying it's awfully strange that you have to jet off to Boston to work a cold case! It seems like something that could wait until you got back full time. I think there's something else going on that you're not telling me!" Jane said arching an eyebrow at me.

"It's _not_ another woman?" I hissed through gritted teeth.

I was furious that Jane would even say that to me.

"So what is it then?" Jane asked pointedly.

"What is what?" I sighed rolling my eyes.

"What are you_ hiding_? What's _really_ going on in Boston?" Jane pushed.

I didn't speak for a moment. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't lie outright but I couldn't tell Jane the truth. Still the woman was extremely inquisitive and she knew me well enough to know there was something I wasn't telling her. I loved that Jane knew me so well; but at the moment it was extremely annoying. I decided to push back and hopefully throw off Jane's line of questioning.

"How could you think I have another woman Jane? You occupy all of my time and attention...you and little miss projectile vomit!" I said rubbing my hands through Angela's soft curls and smiling at her.

Franklin Thomas jumped on the bed and started licking Angela's face. Jane pulled FT into her body and rubbed his head.

"Is that why you're leaving? Because I'm exhausting you?" Jane said sadly.

She'd lowered her eyes and looked like she wanted to cry. I kicked myself for upsetting her. That wasn't my intention at all. Sometimes I just said things that were cruel even though it wasn't my intention to be so. I was still learning to filter my speech as to not hurt my girlfriend. She was incredibly sensitive about being here and the thought of her crowding my space plagued her mind with doubts despite the fact that I loved living with her.

"Honey...NO!" I said trying to kiss Jane again.

Jane pulled back and looked at me doubtfully.

"I can go back to my apartment if you don't want me to..."

"...Stop Jane! I'm serious. I don't want to hear you talk about leaving or giving me space or any of that. I love having you here...I hope you never leave." I said honestly rubbing Jane's cheek while Angela crawled on the bed between us.

Angela fell on top of FT who yipped and licked her face again.

"Well...why won't you tell me what's going on? I_ know_ you're hiding something!" Jane frowned.

I rolled my eyes again.

"Listen to you; Detective Rizzolli on the case," I teased.

Jane smirked.

"I always wanted to be a detective when I was a kid," Jane smiled.

Then her smile turned into a frown.

"That's why I joined the police academy. I had a head full of dreams of being the biggest baddest homicide detective ever. When I got into the police academy I thought I'd won the lottery. I worked _so _hard. I trained _so_ hard. I did _everything_ right. I studied like _crazy_. I graduated the academy at the top of my class. When I made the force I'd been so happy I cried when I got my badge. My mom cried too and both my brothers. They were so proud of me. My Ma couldn't stop smiling. My brothers told everybody they knew about their bad ass sister making the NYPD. Ma made me lasagna for my celebration dinner. I loved her lasagna...it was so _good_ Maura I wish you could have tasted it. She used to sing to her sauce when she made it. She bought all the ingredients fresh from the farmers market and stewed her own tomatoes over night. That recipe was generations old, my great great great great grandmother used to make it in Sicily two hundred years ago. The last time I saw my family was at my celebration dinner in my tiny little apartment. My Ma acted like it was a mansion and brought out my old baby pictures and embarrassed me to death. It was awesome. My family and I laughed and told stories and my brothers told dirty jokes and made Ma mad."

Jane laughed. I smiled.

"Ma wrote down the recipe for me before they left for Boston and said next time I ate that lasagna it would be me that had to make it. I just rolled my eyes. I teased her that she'd always make it for me because she loved me. But then she died...she and both my brothers driving back to Boston. I haven't had lasagna since...I don't want to be a detective anymore. It just makes me sad." Jane said softly.

She rolled over and turned her back to me. I thought I saw her lips tremble and tears in her eyes before she turned away. My heart broke. Jane pulled a pillow in front of her face and clutched it tightly against her. I knew she was fighting down the pain. I knew it was killing her to remember what she had lost. She lost everything. Not just her family but a lifetime of hopes and dreams died with them. I felt the bed shake slightly with Jane's sobs. I knew she didn't want me to see her cry. I knew she felt weak, embarrassed, and alone. I knew she fought everyday to suppress what hurt her the most. I swallowed a lump in my throat. I reached for Jane and lay my hand on her shoulder. I didn't know what to say. I could find no words to comfort her. All I could do was fly to Boston and try my hardest to bring her at least some level of peace in knowing justice had been served.

Angela stood on the bed and patted her mother's arm cooing and crying for Jane's attention. If was as if Angela knew her mother was in pain. It was as if she was reaching out to her mother and trying desperately to get her attention and make her tears go away. I thought of how many nights Jane must have cried with Angela in her arms. How much misery had Angela seen already? How many of her mother's tears soaked her hair on dark nights? How many times had she curled in Jane's arms falling asleep to the sounds of Jane's pained sobs of grief? Angela shook her mother desperately, begging for her attention. What was she thinking? What was she feeling? Did she recognize Jane's misery? Was she afraid? Was she saddened as I was by Jane's choked soft whimpers into her pillow?

I sighed and pulled Angela into my arms. She began crying hysterically and fighting against me begging to be released back to her mother. My heart broke again as I wrestled with the baby's screaming wailing body. Angela never behaved this way with me. She always let me hold her. But this time she cried and screamed so much her entire face turned red and Franklin Thomas nipped at my hands to release her. I did. Jane turned over and gathered Angela in her arms and held her tightly whispering sweet words of comfort in her ear.

"It's ok sweetheart. Mommy's got you! I'll never leave you baby girl...I'll never let you go!" Jane said softly as tears streamed down her face.

Jane buried her face in Angela's curls kissing her tiny head repeatedly. I crawled behind Jane and wrapped my arms around her kissing her neck and rocking her gently. I could feel her begin to cry again softly into Angela's dark curly hair so much like her own. The lump in my throat was horrible. My eyes burned with tears. My girlfriend was hurting and therefore so was I. I held Jane as tightly as I could while she cried, her body trembled in pain. How could I leave her like this? How could I fall asleep and dream peacefully knowing I was leaving her alone with a heart full of pain and a mind full of doubt about my intentions. Was Jane waiting for me to hurt her? Were her snide remarks about me having another woman on the side based on some real thoughts of betrayal she had in her head? Did Jane keep asking if she was crowding my space because she still didn't believe this was real or that I could love her the way I said I did? Was she just waiting for the other shoe to drop? There was nothing I could say to make her feel better...but they say actions speak louder than words.

"I tell you what honey...why don't you and Angela and little Franklin Thomas come with me?" I whispered in Jane's ear.

I felt her body stiffen in my arms. I knew it was a long shot asking her to go to Boston. Jane hadn't been there in five years for a reason. I promised I wouldn't push her to go and I wouldn't...but I would extend the olive branch. Maybe Jane loved me enough to make the journey with me. Maybe she trusted me to let me hold her hand through the misery and the pain and guide her out into the light again. Maybe she believed me when I said I love you!

"Really?" Jane asked softly.

She turned to me eyes wide and curious although red and swollen. Angela giggled in her arms. I turned Jane's head gently with my fingers and kissed her deeply. I pulled her hips into mine and opened her mouth with my tongue leading hers in a dance of love and desire. I ran my hands up and down Jane's sides feeling her muscles quiver as my fingers caressed her strong but soft body. I sighed in her mouth and felt her lips tremble against mine. Jane's eyes were closed, her breath unsteady and deep. I loved her so much it was painful to feel all my love for her at once. I could kiss Jane forever. This moment, in our bed, with our daughter, and our little puppy, kissing like we meant it, like there was no place we'd rather be...this moment was heaven and earth. I broke the kiss finally. My body trembled with desire.

"Please come with me," I whispered.

I smiled at Jane who looked bewildered but excited at the same time.

"I...I haven't been in years." Jane said sadly.

I held her more tightly against me.

"I know baby. I understand that it's hard for you. I understand if you say no but..."

"...you said Angela can't fly yet." Jane whispered as she studied my face.

I sighed and brushed Jane's lips with mine.

"We'll have to drive," I said kissing Jane.

"Will that be safe for Angela?"

I looked at Angela rolling around with Franklin Thomas on the bed. She was giggling and pulling his ears and kicking her little feet in her pajamas.

"She's strong...like her mother!" I smiled at Jane.

Jane grinned against my lips.

"If you're not comfortable with going I won't force you..."

"...Yes!" Jane exclaimed with a triumphant grin.

I paused and studied her face. Jane was smiling from ear to ear. My heart melted.

"Really? Yes? You'll come with me?" I asked tears streaming down my face.

"Yes Maura...I want to go with you!" Jane said nuzzling her face in my neck.

I grinned so widely my face hurt. Angela giggled as she crawled up to me and pulled at my arm around Jane. Franklin Thomas licked her face. Jane rested her head against my chest and I fell back on the pillows happy and relieved. I pulled Angela into my side where she curled up and giggled happily as she chewed on the ear of her stuffed elephant.

"I thought you'd never ask. I thought you didn't want me to come. I thought you wanted to get away or that you had another woman you wanted to..."

"...Jane knock it off with the other woman business!" I said shortly.

I didn't want our precious moment ruined with Jane's strange obsession that I was some kind of interstate cheater. Jane rolled over on her stomach and lay on top of me looking deep into my eyes. I gave her my most firm expression of displeasure. I was tired of hearing about me having another woman.

"If you ever cheat on me it would kill me," Jane said sadly.

I rolled my eyes.

"Same here," I replied matter of factly "But I'll _never_ cheat on you!"

"I'll never cheat on_ you_," Jane smiled kissing me softly.

I pulled Jane from her hungry kiss and slapped her butt lightly.

"You better not!" I teased her.

Jane's eyes went wide then narrowed into that mischievous grin.

"You wanna be dirty baby," Jane said wiggling on top of me.

I raised my eyebrows at her.

"I played _very_ dirty today with a certain woman named Sherri," I smiled at Jane "But I was well within my rights to do so,"

Jane looked curious.

"What did you do?" she asked in a low husky voice.

"Let's just say you won't be bothered by her anymore," I said proudly.

Jane grinned.

"You did something bad didn't you?" Jane's eyes narrowed accusingly.

I smiled but rolled her off of me. Jane pouted beside me.

"We have to pack sweetheart...we're leaving first thing in the morning and we have so much to do,"

Jane whined and moaned the entire time.

...

"Who is the kid and the girl in this picture, Dr. Isles? The woman looks familiar!" Detective Korsack asked picking up the picture of Jane and Angela on my desk and studying it curiously.

I leaned back in my office chair and yawned. I was weary and exhausted from the insane car trip earlier today. Consuela insisted on coming with us and she and Jane bickered the entire time about Jane's horrible driving. Jane apparently had an affinity for speed and a certain disregard for turn signals that made everyone panicky and nervous. I screamed a hundred times about using turn signals before she switched lanes to which Jane would only grumble and insist she'd been driving half her life and knew exactly what she was doing. I sat in the back of Jane's new Escalade clinging to Franklin Thomas and wondering how on earth Angela could sleep through the chaos in the car.

Jane had been miss grumpy pants all morning owing to the fact that we'd been awake since four a.m. loading the truck and making sure everything was in order. Jane insisted on loading the truck herself while I stood back holding Angela and timidly making suggestions that were met with frustrated growls and spurts of fury from Jane. At one point I just gave up and sat on the couch in the apartment with Angela until Jane came back huffing and sweaty declaring that everything was ready to go. We hit traffic almost immediately which enraged Jane beyond reason and caused her to veer off the interstate onto some country road insisting that she knew a short cut. I'd screamed at Jane to just follow my directions but that was met with furious instance that she knew best and to trust her. I'd grown so frustrated we had a clipped hateful argument peppered with exclamations from Consuela that she had to use the restroom and how Miss Jane was leading us down the road to hell. We were indeed riding down some dusty bumpy road surrounded by rather lame looking farms and intermittent shacks supposed to be gas stations and diners.

Jane wanted to stop at some rundown road side hovel for breakfast insisting they had wonderful pancakes. I'd protested vehemently exclaiming loudly that I didn't want to get salmonella poisoning and Angela might catch a virus in there. Jane called me boogie for that and I'd tossed one of Angela's sippy cups at her head. Jane almost swerved off the road trying to yell at me instead of paying attention to driving reducing Consuela and I into screaming furious messes.

At one point we had to come to a screeching halt because there were four or five cows in the road that had escaped their fence somehow. Jane had to get out of the car and try to shoo the cows away with a big stick but they wouldn't move. I yelled at Jane to get back in the car but she refused saying she could handle it. I'd rolled my eyes and decided right then and there Jane would _never_ be allowed to drive on a long car trip again. Jane finally got the cows to move but had stepped in a giant cow pie that splashed all over her boots and pants leg. Consuela cackled at Jane and Jane cursed and raged stomping around like a maniac.

I refused to help Jane clean herself up. I was in charge of Angela and I couldn't have poo fingers and touch the baby. I handed Jane some baby wipes and hand sanitizer but still the truck smelled like poo the entire rest of the ride. Consuela teased Jane mercilessly about her smelly shoe to which Jane hissed and grumbled insults back. We were lost for two very smelly hours on Jane's little detour; but she refused to pull over and ask for directions. We were so far off the grid no one had cell phone service and the car's navigation system couldn't calculate our position.

"_We be murdered out here! I too young to die!" _Consuela wailed in the passenger seat.

_"Consuela damn it! Everything is going to be fine I know where I'm going!" _Jane hissed.

Jane was gripping the steering wheel with both hands so tightly her knuckles were turning white and her brows were furrowed with determination.

"_You do __**not**__ know where you're __**going**__! I think we're riding in circles; I could swear I've seen that tree before!" _I wailed from the back seat.

"_You did __**not!**__ Everything looks the fucking same out here but we're traveling in the right direction!" _Jane raved.

_"Jane...no cursing! Angela can hear you!" _I scolded.

_"Maura I swear to Christ if you don't stop picking at me I'm going to pull over at the next gas station and make you drink their three-day old coffee!" _Jane spat angrily.

_"Why don't we do that...let's pull over. I'll drink three-day old coffee if it means I can ask for directions and get us back to civilization and fix your horrible mistake! You just __**had **__to take a shortcut! Now we're lost in __**cow**__ country! The sooner you get to a shower the better for us all!_" I hissed.

"_Hey I didn't see you trying to help me get the damn cows out of the road!_" Jane said furiously.

_"I told you not to get out the truck in the first place! But __**noooo**__ you just __**had**__ to play Superwoman! We wouldn't have been in that situation anyway if you'd just followed my directions! Now we're lost in the middle of no where and the entire truck smells like __**POO**__!"_ I wailed.

_"For the last time we are not __**LOST!"**_ Jane raged.

"_Then what's the name of this road, __**Jane**__?"_ I exclaimed. _"I saw a man riding down the road on a tractor wearing overall's with no shirt underneath and some very serious dental problems!" _

_"Just relax and go to sleep,"_ Jane insisted.

_"How can I relax or sleep when you smell like a barn and we're stuck in some scene from that horrible movie deliverance! You have no idea where we are. Angela needs her diaper changed, you need to be disinfected, and Consuela thinks we're going to be captured by Satan! This is all your fault! If you weren't so stubborn we'd be in Boston already!_" I screamed at Jane.

"_Stop badgering me and maybe I can get us out of her damn it!" _Jane raged.

"_Jane stop CURSING!"_

"_MAURA goddamnit stop talking! You never stop freaking __**talking**__!" _

"_Pull over and let me drive!" _I hissed.

_"__**NO!**_" Jane pouted.

I rolled my eyes and wanted to cry. We went on like that another forty-five minutes until we finally found our way to a real interstate. It took seven hours to get to Boston when it should only have taken four. I'd been so frazzled when we finally pulled into the driveway of my home I just left Jane and Consuela with the house key, kissed Angela's cheek, hopped in my BMW parked in the garage, and headed to the precinct. I'd been in my office eight hours already buried in my work. It was after nine p.m. and I was throughly exhausted.

Detective Korsack wandered in my office a few minutes ago. He was sipping from a very large coffee and smiling at the picture in his hands. He was dressed as usual in an older looking rather frumpy suit. He looked tired like he hadn't slept much in a while; but then again all the detectives looked like that normally. I imagined I looked as weary as he did.

The tests I'd been performing on the evidence I'd gathered for Jane's family's open case were difficult, tedious, and time-consuming. Most of the evidence I'd collected from the car was to old or tainted to yield conclusive results. Most of the finger prints I lifted belonged to officer's that had been called to the crime scene and didn't wear proper protective gear while searching the car. It was frustrating beyond belief. I couldn't believe my predecessor had allowed such unprofessional standards of evidence gathering while at a crime scene. I'd spent hours sorting bad evidence from what was actually usable only to discover I had only one partial faded print I could lift from a soda can I found under the passenger seat and one strand of hair I found on the carpeting between the seats. Even still, finding a way to lift the aging print from the can without compromising it was driving me insane and the hair sample was very short and missing the follicle. The chances of gathering enough DNA from it to run it through the DNA database were slim. Still I would not give up. I had to try. I had to do this for Jane and for Angela.

I sat back in my chair and sighed rubbing my forehead and stretching my cramped limbs. I was wearing my favorite pair of scrubs and crocks. They weren't fashionable, but they were comfortable and I didn't get my nice clothes or shoes ruined while wearing them. Normally when I left the morgue or lab I'd immediately change into proper attire; but I hadn't the energy to move let alone change my clothing. Besides I'd become comfortable wearing less appealing attire since Angela had an affinity for ruining nice things. I smiled at Detective Korsack as I yawned.

"Wow doc...you look like you're going to fall asleep in that chair. I've never seen you like this before. I heard you singing in the lab earlier...I didn't know you could sing!" Detective Korsack smiled at me.

His smile was warm and friendly. I felt myself feeling affectionate toward him. I'd never felt particularly friendly toward anyone at work but I liked Detective Korsack.

"That's my girlfriend and her daughter," I said kindly motioning toward the picture in Korsack's hand.

Korsack's eyes went wide as he studied the picture again.

"You mean...you're a ...a _lesbian_?" Korsack looked flabbergasted.

He whispered the word 'lesbian' looking over his shoulder as if to make sure he wasn't overheard. I grinned and nodded my head.

"Her name is Jane and her daughter's name is Angela." I said pointedly.

"WOW!" Korsack exclaimed. "If I'd married one that looked like her I wouldn't be divorced three times over!" Korsack chuckled to himself.

I laughed with him.

"She's a handful!" I said honestly.

"The pretty ones always are. So where is she? Does she live around here?" He inquired.

I sighed.

"She's visiting with me while I'm here but she lives with me in New York." I said sadly.

"Well don't sound so down about it. You should be happy you get to wake up to that every morning," Korsack grinned.

"Except that I live_ here _most of the year," I reminded him.

"Well...what does she do? Can she visit you when you're in Boston?"

I rubbed my sleepy eyes.

"The cold case I'm working is for Jane. It was her family that was killed in the hit and run. This is her first time back in Boston since it happened and I doubt she'll want to move here." I said sadly.

Detective Korsack's eyes went wide; then they filled with understanding.

"That's where I've seen her. She came to identify the bodies of her family. It was awful; she just sort of fell apart. So that's why you're killing yourself to solve this case. Everyone's wondering why you came back here to work a cold case when you're supposed to be on leave. I gotta admit though Doc...it's a conflict of interest for you to work this case. You're to personally involved. If you have to end up testifying about any evidence you find your personal relationship with the sister and daughter of the victims could be questioned!" Detective Korsack said not unkindly but with a level of warning in his voice.

"I have never and _will _never be _anything_ but professional. If my predecessor had been half as professional as myself I wouldn't have to be doing this right now." I said hotly.

Then I lowered my eyes. I also wouldn't know Jane if not for her family's tragedy. Still I had no reason to be unfriendly with Detective Korsack. I sighed and looked at him with pained heavy eyes.

"I would like to keep this between us Detective Korsack; please don't tell the others why I'm doing this. Not until it's over and the scumbag is behind bars."

Detective Korsack nodded his head sympathetically.

"Do you really think you're going to be able to get anything out of those samples? I mean...they're really old! And even if you do you're going to need a Detective to investigate for you and all the guys are swamped with other cases..._recent_ cases! It might be hard to find someone willing to go out on a limb and investigate a five year old hit and run." he said said carefully.

I rested my head in my hand. Detective Korsack was right and I knew it. I'd always known him to be a friendly man; but just how far did his friendliness go? I studied him for a few moments. He was looking at the picture of Jane and Angela with a pained grimace on his face. His eyes looked sympathetic. Could I sway him to help me? Could I trust him? I needed someone on my side; someone experienced and competent with enough pull with the lieutenant to convince him to allow this investigation to proceed. I'd never reached out to a co-worker for help before; but Jane said I should give myself more credit; that if I just tried I'd find I had more people in my corner than I realized.

"Would you help me Detective Korsack? You're the best detective in homicide! Will you help me bring my girlfriend peace? You worked this case five years ago but didn't have the evidence to close the case. I can give you that evidence, I can help you solve this! I can give both you and my girlfriend closure," I said confidently.

Detective Korsack looked at me for a long time then looked down at the picture of Jane.

"If you give me something solid to go on I would love nothing more than to lock that motherfucker up! This case has haunted me for five years. That crime scene was awful. The victims were hit head on by a car going sixty miles an hour on a residential street while they sat at a stop sign. The steering wheel crushed the mother's chest, she was nearly decapitated! One of the boy's neck was broken so badly it was literally backward like the exorcist! The other brother's head went through the passenger window; half his face was torn off and most of his bones were broken. It was horrible. The weird thing was the medical examiner at the time said something about the one brother's neck that was broken couldn't have been broken in the accident. The boy's body was found outside the car like he'd managed to crawl away. He couldn't have done that with a broken neck. But that never made it in the examiner's report. The guy got transferred out of the blue and his cases were handed down to some rookie medical examiner they brought in from some no name town. I thought the brother might have gotten a look at the driver of the other car and that's why his neck got broken. I wanted to look into it more but the lieutenant at the time made us push the case aside for newer ones. I've never gotten over it. It's never added up to me. It's almost like the brass wanted to sweep the whole thing under the rug. We weren't even allowed to tell the sister, your girlfriend, what we thought might have happened to the brother with the broken neck. It's my honor to help you find who did this." Korsack's face looked grim and angry as he set Jane's picture back on my desk.

I was floored by the new information. I'd read nothing in the files about the possibility that Jane's brother's neck was broken _after_ the accident. A cold awful feeling crept into the pit of my stomach. I tasted bile. What was going on?

"Are you saying it wasn't just a hit a run? Are you saying the driver got out of the car and broke Jane's brother's neck before disappearing into the night?" I asked incredulously.

Detective Korsack sighed heavily.

"It's...it's possible but we never got to investigate further. I know the one brother with the broken neck, Tommy, had some gambling debts with some pretty bad people. I don't know what else he was mixed up in or if it had anything to do with the accident. After the sister, your girlfriend, went back to New York I talked to a lady who said she was Tommy's girlfriend. She seemed really scared about what happened to him. She'd just had a baby and said it was Tommy's, a little boy if I remember right. I guess she was mixed up in some bad stuff too and the kid ended up in the system. Like I said; it's all very strange and I was put on another assignment before I could ask to many questions." Detective Korsack said sadly.

"Jane has a _nephew?_" I exclaimed.

Detective Korsack looked like he wished he hadn't told me that.

"I don't know; we never ran any DNA test it wasn't our place to do that," Detective Korsack insisted.

I knew my eyes were wide with shock. Could Jane possibly have a little nephew somewhere she didn't even know existed? Where was the child now? I had to find out, I had to run the test but how could I even find this kid? I didn't even know his name.

"Does she know, Jane, does she know you're doing this?" Detective Korsack asked.

I shook my head.

"I can't tell her; it's against protocol to speak about an open case and I don't want to get her hopes up anyway." I sighed.

"That's good. The less people that know the better. I guess that makes us partners then," Detective Korsack smiled.

I returned his smile graciously. I stood and extended my hand which he shook firmly to solidify our pact. Detective Korsack turned to leave but stopped short. His eyes went wide and his breath caught in his throat. I followed his gaze and my heart dropped to my feet. Standing in the doorway of my office with a horrified look on her face and a covered dish in her arms was Jane.

"_Oh my goodness,_" I thought. "_How much did she hear?"_


	19. Peace be Still

**Maura**

"**I want to help**," Jane raged.

She was gripping the steering wheel like it was the only thing keeping her from wrapping her arms around my throat or exploding in fury. The car wasn't even running. We were sitting inside of Jane's new Escalade in the parking garage of the precinct arguing desperately with each other. I was exhausted physically and mentally. I was near tears trying to explain to Jane so many things she didn't seem to understand. It was awful, it was heart wrenching, it was the worse thing that could have happened. Jane heard everything. Everything she shouldn't have heard. Jane ran from the precinct in a fury; I ran after her in tears desperate to catch her before she did something insane in her fury. Jane threw the covered dish she brought for me against the stone wall of the parking garage and it shattered everywhere. I'd managed to jump in the car before Jane could pull away and ripped the keys from the ignition before she could speed off in a rage.

Jane's eyes were dangerous and hurt at the same time. Her expression moved from fury, to sadness, to loathing in flashes. My heart was racing, my chest hurt, my lungs burned, my soul ached. The conversation between Detective Korsack and I wasn't meant to be overheard by anyone and least of all Jane. I'd pleaded desperately with her for over thirty minutes to calm down and let me explain. Jane grew more and more angry when I skirted around her direct questions about her family's open case. I couldn't speak of the intimate details of the case; it was against the law. Something Jane didn't understand or care about at all. She called me a liar, she called me a sneak, she called me many things in her fury. Her words cut into me deeper than any knife. She was hateful and loathsome. She was furious and in agonizing pain. I tried to tell myself that Jane's words stemmed from her personal grief. I tried to remind myself that old wounds were hard to heal and hearing in such detail what had happened to her family was like ripping open scabs five years old.

Jane couldn't mean all the hurtful things she said to me. She loved me. I knew she did. But her anger was ferocious and terrible to witness. She lashed out at me with the power of a flaming whip and my soul was searing under the blows.

"Jane _please _understand; you _can't _get involved...you're not a police officer..."

"...I don't give a _fuck _about any of that! It's my _family _that died...MY family. That detective said they pushed that case under the rug and forgot about it. My family deserves better than that. My _mother_ deserves better than that...my_ brothers_ deserve better than that!" Jane banged her fist against the steering wheel in her fury. "They weren't trash to just be forgotten. They were my family...my _only_ family! If they won't solve this case I will do it _myself!"_ Jane screamed at me.

She wouldn't even look at me. She stared out the windshield. I could see tears streaming from her eyes. Her face was flushed a furious red and her eyes were so wide and dark I was frightened. Something inside of Jane had ripped wide open; something I had never witnessed in full force. Even so I knew it had been there all along. It was the shadow. It was the anger. It was the hatred. It was the grief. It was everything that she'd kept bottled away for so long in her desperate attempts to keep moving forward despite the pain. Knowing that so much fury existed in the recesses of her mind did not make it easier to bare in its greatest intensity.

"Jane, I could get fired if you get yourself involved in this case! You aren't supposed to know anything you just heard..."

"...why didn't you tell me yourself? I knew there was something weird going on! I _knew_ it! You could have told me...you should have _told _me Maura! I'm your girlfriend...it's _my _family that died? Why would you lie to me..."

"...I didn't _lie _Jane!" I cried desperately.

I reached for Jane's hand but she pulled her arm away roughly. She gave me a stare so hateful and belittling I felt my chest cave it. I reached for my heart and clutched my chest. Something inside of me was breaking. I tried to stop it but tears were pouring from my eyes. My lips trembled, my eyes lowered in shame. I turned my head from Jane and looked out the passenger side window. I covered my mouth with my hand and tried to suppress gasping wails of grief. Agony surged through me like fire in my veins. Was I wrong? Should I have told Jane? Should I have opened this can of worms at all? I'd only been trying to help but in doing so I'd made some grievous error I didn't even understand. I _loved _Jane. Why couldn't she see that? Why didn't she understand that I was doing this for her and for no other reason? I would crawl through hell for her, climb the highest mountain, swim across the deepest ocean. I would do anything to bring Jane peace because I _loved _her; but in the moment all I was doing was causing more pain.

Jane looked at me and sighed. I was crying softly in my hand. I heard Jane curse and rage under her breath. She leaned her forehead against the steering wheel and shook her head. I looked over at her and choked on a sob. Tears were streaming down her face. Her eyes were closed tightly against the pain but they couldn't staunch the flow of hot wet tears. Jane's face was a mask of agony. I wanted to reach out to her but I was afraid. I wanted to hold her, but I was afraid. I wanted to speak, but I was afraid.

Jane began to sob. Her grip on the steering wheel was turning her knuckles white. I bit my fingers. I felt selfish for crying when Jane was in so much pain. I felt like I had nothing to offer her. I had no relief to give. I was too afraid to even try. I didn't want to hurt her anymore. I felt foolish. I felt useless. I felt like a failure. Jane's sobs were growing in intensity. Her breath was heavy and ragged. Her face was flushed. The lump in my throat could have choked me to death. I wanted to melt into the seat and fade away. If I could do no better than this, if I couldn't give Jane more than this, if I only brought her pain and misery...I saw no reason to exist.

Jane cried desperately for many long minutes. I found the strength to reach for her and run my fingers through her dark curly hair. Jane didn't pull away; she let me touch her. She cried harder when I did. I pulled Jane into my body and held her tightly against me. Jane's wails of pain and agony tore into the depths of me. My soul touched hers and I could feel all of her pain. Something in the center of me ached like a gaping wound. I held the back of her head and pushed her face into my neck. Jane's tears soaked my scrubs but I thought nothing of it. I couldn't hold her close enough. I couldn't tell her I loved her loud enough. I couldn't apologize desperately enough. I couldn't dry her tears fast enough.

I held her tightly like I was afraid she would melt into nothing. Jane leaned heavily against me; my body shook with the power of her sobs. I buried my face in her neck and cried with her. I was so sorry, I was so _sorry_, I was _so _sorry. I repeated my apologies to her over and over choking on my grief. This was everything I didn't want to happen. This was what I was fighting so hard to prevent. I opened Jane's family's case to bring her peace; not to tear her to pieces all over again. I closed my eyes tightly in shame.

"They were all I had Maura. They were all I _had_! How come they wouldn't solve the case? How come my family wasn't good enough? How could they forget about them? I never forget. I _never _forget! I lost everything and no one even cares! My family's not nothing; they deserve to rest in peace...they _deserve _to rest in peace!" Jane cried in my ear.

I closed my eyes tightly absorbing Jane's painful words. I pulled her even tighter against me.

"_I'm _here, you have _me_, and I'm _not _going to forget. This is why I'm here...this is why I'm _here!_ Your family deserves everything you want for them and you deserve to have peace too! I will do my best to give you _all _of this...I _swear _it...I want you to have _everything_." I whispered in Jane's ear.

"I want to help," Jane cried again. "I _deserve _this...I deserve to _help_!"

I sighed heavily.

"Sweetheart you _can't_..."

"...Maura I don't trust ANYBODY else! You heard what that detective said. They just gave up five years ago!" Jane raged pulling back and looking at me through tearful furious eyes.

"You have to trust me! I am not the _enemy_! I will fix this Jane, I'm here for you, I'm doing this for _you_!" I pleaded with Jane.

"_Are _you Maura? Are you here for me?" Jane asked me through narrowed accusing eyes.

I looked at her shocked and confused. How could she even ask me that? Had I not done everything..._everything _I could for her?

"You _know _I am; I'd do anything for you..."

"...Then let me _help! _Let me bring my family peace; they deserve peace." Jane said sadly.

She turned her eyes and body from me staring out the driver's side window. She gripped the steering wheel again in pain and determination. I sighed. I wiped tears from my eyes and lay my hand over hers.

"There is nothing you can do right now Jane. I'm still working on gathering evidence. If I let you get involved it will only call my judgment into question and undermine any progress I might make on the case. If you get involved the DA could say my evidence was tainted, that I wasn't professional, that my judgment was compromised because of my relationship with you. Detective Korsack is the best...we will solve this case and give you peace but I need you to _trust _me!" I pleaded with Jane.

"That's _bullshit_...I won't get in the way. I wasn't the one that pushed my family's case under the rug and withheld evidence..._crucial _evidence that could have helped solve the case five years ago. It's those fucking bureaucrats whose judgment should be questioned." Jane insisted.

She looked at me with bright sad eyes. She wasn't raging anymore but she looked broken and confused. My heart ached. I couldn't deny that she was right on some level...but still she couldn't get involved in an open criminal investigation. I had to sway her somehow. I had to get her to understand. I needed her to trust me like she'd never trusted me before. We were both standing on the precipice of possible failure or great success. I loved Jane; and if she loved me I needed to be able to trust her to not interfere as she needed to trust me to stand by my word.

"If you get involved and ruin this investigation you could be brought up on charges of tampering in an open investigation, witness intimidation, evidence tampering...any manner of things and so could I. Where would that leave Angela? Who would care for her if we both went to prison?" I asked.

I turned Jane's head toward mine so she was staring directly into my eyes. She didn't speak. She looked defiant at first; but the mention of Angela made her face fall into one of hopeless despair.

"So I just have to sit around _again _and wait for justice to fail me and my family _again_," Jane said softly.

I felt my heart break. A tear streamed down my face.

"_No _sweetheart; you have to wait for your girlfriend to show you just how much she loves you. If you believe in nothing else...believe in me. I'm _excellent _at my job; I _never _fail at my work! You can't help with the case yourself...but I'll move heaven and earth for you. There _is _something else you can do." I said rubbing Jane's cheek with my thumb.

Jane looked up at me with curious eyes.

"What?"

"You can look for your nephew." I smiled at Jane.

Jane's brow furrowed.

"We don't even know if I _have _a nephew." Jane insisted.

"We don't know that you _don't_. Isn't it worth finding out? If your brother had a child that's been left to the system wouldn't he want you to care for him? Don't you want to know if you have family? Do you want your bloodline to die with you?" I asked sincerely.

Jane looked furious.

"My bloodline will _never _die. Angela will carry it after me." Jane hissed.

"She will marry one day and her name will change." I said softly.

Jane's jaw worked furiously but no words came out.

"I could have a boy...I will give him my name and keep my family's line going. I _have _too...I can't let my family die out. Rizzolli forever!" Jane said proudly.

I smiled.

"Rizzolli forever!" I repeated kissing Jane's cheek lightly. "How about Rizzolli-Isles forever?"

Jane looked shocked; then her face split in a mischievous grin.

"That could work too," Jane laughed.

My heart melted. I smiled at her. She was so beautiful when she laughed. I wiped the last of her tears away. Jane's face scrunched up in a frown. She was thinking hard about something. I cocked my head and studied her.

"What is it?" I asked curiously.

Jane looked at me. She had a funny little frown on her face that made her adorable. I giggled and kissed her cheek.

"What is it?" I asked again.

"Ummmm...how does that work?" she asked softly.

I was confused.

"How does what work?"

Jane looked uncomfortable.

"How do...how would we make a Rizzolli-Isles baby?" Jane asked, her eyes were wide with wonder.

I laughed.

"Addison would have to help us with that. She has a good friend that specializes in that sort of thing."

"Really? Well...you'd be sexy pregnant!" Jane grinned.

My heart broke again.

"I can't...I can't have children." I said sadly.

Jane looked horrified. I tried to smile but I ended up sobbing instead. A guilty look came over Jane's face. I knew she hadn't meant to hurt me. But being barren had haunted me for years. Now that I knew for sure that Jane wanted more children with me and I couldn't carry them myself made me feel the pain of my empty womb ten times more. Jane pulled me into her arms kissing me softly and whispering sweet words to me.

"It's ok Maura. All my stuff works down there and I'll give you a baby...one day...not today!" Jane giggled.

I laughed through my tears.

"You're very sweet Jane. You make beautiful babies." I whispered.

"I'll work really hard to make an extra pretty one for you." Jane smiled sweetly.

My heart melted for her. I kissed her deeply. Jane kissed me back with all her passion. I loved her so much. I pulled from the kiss and studied her beautiful face. Her eyes were red and swollen from crying and her cheeks were flushed from our kiss; but she was still gorgeous. I kissed her softly several more times before settling back in my seat.

"Still you must find your nephew!" I whispered.

"HOW!" Jane exclaimed.

I thought for a few moments. That was a daunting question. I didn't know the name of the woman that gave the child to the system. I didn't know the name of the child. I didn't know _anything _and five years had passed since it all happened. Still I was Doctor Maura Isles. I told Jane I would move mountains for her and I would.

"Detective Korsack would know the name of Tommy's girlfriend...we'll go from there." I said as confidently as I could.

Jane just rolled her eyes.

"And how is _that _supposed to help?"

"Well it's the first step in finding him. We have to start somewhere. I have an army of very capable people at my disposal. We can't get the police department involved but there are other ways." I sighed.

Jane didn't seem very convinced.

"And what if we _do _find him and he _is _my nephew...what then?" she asked curiously.

I smiled.

"Well then I think our family is going to get a little bigger," I said happily.

Jane looked incredulous. Her jaw hung open as she stared at me.

"WHAT!"

"Jane if you have a nephew it's your duty..._our _duty to care for him! Don't you agree?"

"Wha...you...I don't...we can't...how come...that's _insane_!" Jane wailed.

I frowned and fixed Jane with my most stubborn gaze.

"_How _is that insane?" I hissed.

"We don't _know_ that kid! And it's been five _years_...he could be all fucked up or something and you want to _adopt _him! We're not talking about a stray puppy here. We are talking about another _human being_!" Jane exclaimed.

I looked at Jane furiously.

"We are not talking about just _any _human being...we are talking about the last surviving male in your family...your dead brother's child!" I trembled in my anger.

Jane looked terrified for a moment. Her jaw opened and closed but no words came out. I think she was afraid of saying something stupid..._again_!

"What happened to '_Rizzolli forever'_? What happened to '_my family deserves the best'_? If he _is _your nephew and you turn your back on him you are _not _the woman I think you are; you are not the woman you _say _you are! You would be a _coward _and your mother would be ashamed!" I spat at Jane.

The look Jane gave me could have melted a glacier. Her eyes burned and her jaw quivered. I glared at her and did not flinch. I don't care how mad she was...I hadn't said anything that wasn't true and Jane knew it.

"You've got a _lot _of fucking nerve!" Jane spat angrily.

I folded my arms and arched my brows.

"So have _you _to even _suggest _turning your back on family." I persisted.

"Maura...why do you care? Why did you open this case?" Jane asked curiously.

I rolled my eyes.

"_Because _Jane; you're my girlfriend and I _love _you! I want you to be happy but I see the shadow behind your eyes. I see the pain. I see the loneliness you carry with you no matter what I do to try and fix it. You don't want my money, you don't believe me when I say you're everything to me, all that is nothing to you. But I _can _give you this...I can give you _peace_! Maybe then you will believe me when I say I love you. Maybe then I won't feel like I'm never enough. Maybe then I'll make you happy." I said sadly.

Jane looked at me like she was seeing a ghost.

"You...you really think all that? I mean...you don't think I believe you when you say you love me? How could you think you're not enough?" Jane's eyes were filling with tears again.

I sighed and hung my head.

"You said some really awful things to me, Jane." I said softly.

Jane looked at me, I turned my head. I didn't want to cry any more. I didn't want to remember the horrible things Jane said to me in her fury that made me feel awful and small. I rested my hand against my heart and closed my eyes willing myself to remember that Jane _did _love me. I felt Jane's hand on my shoulder.

"I...I didn't mean to hurt you, Maura! I was shocked and upset. I'm...I'm so selfish and insensitive sometimes. God I _hate _myself for what I said to you! Please Maura..._please _forgive me! I'm upset, I'm angry, I'm hurt, I'm devastated, I'm frustrated...I'm so many things. But all that aside...I'm still in love with you Maura Isles. I'm...I'm in _awe _of you. I can't believe you have the power to see that my family gets justice after so many years. It's like we were meant to find each other. It's like all the hurt and pain I suffered led me right to you. Being with you makes everything hurt less; sometimes I forget about the pain all together. I believe you when you say you're going to solve my family's case. You _always _do what you say you will. You're the most honorable person I've ever met." Jane said softly.

I sighed. I still didn't look at her. I just stared blankly out the window. To many thoughts were running through my head. The pressure of great responsibility weighed on my mind. Weariness filled my body. Jane's hand tensed on my shoulder. She pulled away. I heard her shuffling around in her pocket. Jane didn't carry a purse anymore. She preferred to stuff her wallet in her back pocket and make me put anything extra she wanted in _my _purse. Jane took my hand and squeezed it lightly.

"Look Maura," she said softly.

I turned and looked at her. Her eyes were bright and shiny and her smile was sweet and innocent. It was the smile I loved so much. It was the smile that made my heart flutter in my chest and my soul soar. It was the smile that made me love her, it was the smile that made me want her, it was the smile that drove me to lust and happiness at the same time.

I leaned my head against the headrest and couldn't help the smile I gave her in return. She was so beautiful. She was wearing jeans and a white t-shirt; but still she was _so _beautiful. I ran my fingers through her dark silky curls and Jane's smile widened. She leaned close to me and kissed my lips softly. My heart broke. I didn't move. I didn't flinch. I let her kiss me. I loved her so much. _So _much. So _much_.

Jane pulled away and stared down at a small wallet sized photo in her hand. I followed her gaze and looked at the picture curiously. A beautiful middle-aged woman with strawberry blond hair, friendly green eyes, and a bright familiar smile looked up at me from the picture. She was flanked by two very handsome dark-haired young men with the same familiar smile and Jane's bright but mischievous eyes. I ran my thumb over the picture. I smiled, and then I cried.

They were such beautiful people, all three of them. Their smiles were mirror images of Jane's smile. Their eyes were mirror images of Jane's eyes. Their skin was the same flawless olive tone as Jane's. I knew them; I knew who they were without Jane saying a word. I didn't have to see the tears streaming down Jane's face. I didn't have to see the way the picture trembled in her hands and her tear drops dotted the paper to know it was her family I was seeing. I wrapped my hand around Jane's holding the picture to steady it. I studied it long and hard. Jane had never shown me a picture of her family before. I'd imagined what they looked like a million times; but nothing I could imagine was as beautiful as the three people I saw staring back at me from the photo. Jane cried softly next to me. I ran my thumb over the picture.

"That's my brother Tommy," Jane pointed to one of the boys. "And that's Frankie and that's Ma!" Jane said sadly.

I smiled through my tears.

"Jane they're...they're so beautiful!" I whispered.

"Jane beamed at me proudly! Angela's going to be pretty like my Ma when she grows up," Jane laughed.

My heart broke. I wrapped my hand in Jane's curls and kissed her cheek. Jane's face was warm and she smiled when my lips found her soft skin.

"Angela is already beautiful...just like her mother." I whispered in Jane's ear.

Jane blushed.

"Angela is...she's all I got left," Jane said sadly. "I wish my Ma could have met her. She always wanted grandchildren. She begged me to get married and have a child all the time. She _always _worried about me. She thought I'd never find someone to love me and take care of me and make me happy." Jane looked sad again.

"I was always so _mean _about it. She nagged me to death and it made me so _mad_! I kept telling her to mind her own business and I could take care of myself. I was so stupid. I thought I could do anything. I didn't realize how much I depended on my mother until I lost her. I never told her how much I loved her; I never told her how important she was. I never did _anything _I should have as a daughter...I failed her and now she's gone. Now I have Angela and she never got to meet her. She never got to hold her. Angela would have made her so happy. My Ma would have been proud of me...she was never proud of me but she would have been proud of Angela," Jane said softly as tears streamed down her face.

I shushed her and pulled her into my body.

"Don't do that sweetheart. Your mother was very proud of you I know it. You're such a wonderful person and Angela is a precious little girl. You love your baby girl like your mother loved you and don't ever doubt it. Don't cry now sweetheart...don't cry." I whispered in Jane's ear.

Jane held onto me for dear life. I let her hold me as tightly as she liked. She was my love, my light, my life. I would comfort her anyway I could always and forever. Several officers walked by Jane's Escalade and looked at us curiously. I frowned at them and they walked on. I dared them to say anything snide tomorrow...I wasn't in the mood to tolerate any type of ignorance.

"Ma would have loved you. She would have loved you more than me." Jane chuckled through teary eyes.

I rolled my eyes.

"Don't be silly. Will you ever love anyone more than Angela?" I asked her pointedly.

Jane laughed.

"You're a close second!" she joked.

I smiled. It was good to have my Janie back. I hugged her for a while longer before pulling away and giving her several long sweet kisses. Jane sighed against my lips. I brushed her hair from her face and cradled her chin in my hands. Jane looked at me through bright but sad eyes. She was so beautiful. I leaned in and kissed her again softly.

"Did you eat dinner sweetheart?" I asked finally.

Jane looked guilty.

"I...I was going to eat with you. I made you dinner and then...well I threw it against the wall." she said sadly.

I giggled.

"You cooked for me?" I smiled lovingly at Jane.

Jane grinned.

"Well...I felt bad about the car trip and I wanted to make it up to you. I thought you'd be home sooner. I spent all day grocery shopping and cooking dinner. Your kitchen is HUGE, it couldn't find _anything _in there! I set the table and lit candles and everything; but when you didn't show up I thought you were mad at me. I was so scared! I put Angela to bed and asked Consuela to keep an eye on her. I packed up the dinner and came down here to surprise you. I love you!" Jane looked a bit embarrassed and ashamed of herself.

I smiled at Jane's pretty dark eyes.

"Let's go home honey. It's very late and I want to get to the office early and be home by the time James gets here tomorrow." I said pointedly.

Jane looked at me curiously.

"James?" she asked confused.

I smiled.

"I'm going to call him when we get home. I want him to help you locate your nephew and deal with all the legal issues," I smiled.

Jane arched her eye brow at me.

"In that case we'll be the parents of two in no time!" Jane laughed.

I laughed with her.


	20. Open Cases

**A/N: So I'm back from vacation...booo! I had some horrible writers block while I was away but I've finally figured out exactly what I'm going to do with Jane's family's case and where the story is going from here. It's going to be extremely funny at times...and extremely dark when it comes to Jane's nephew at times; but trust I'll bring it all full circle and it will be awesome...I hope! How about Maura dressed up in biker gear...anyone down? Let me know what you think...I'm open to ideas. This is my first time writing about a case and figuring out how to solve it. Anyway please review.**

**Maura**

I ran down the hallway as fast as I could. My heels clicked against the tile floor and many officers in uniform stopped to stare at me as I passed. I didn't care. It was out of character for me to run in the building; but I was desperate to get to Detective Korsack. It was already well past five and I was praying he hadn't already retired for the evening. I couldn't hold on to my good news until morning. I'd drive over to Detective Korsack's home if I had too. Though that would be rude. It wasn't proper to show up to a person's home uninvited; but this was important!

I threw open the doors of the bull pen and searched around frantically for Detective Korsack. I didn't see him anywhere and his giant coffee mug that he usually kept on his desk was gone. My heart sank. He must have left already.

"Hey doc...whatcha looking for?" A very young uniformed officer asked suddenly appearing at my side.

I sighed and gasped trying to catch my breath. I saw the officer trying to read the files I had in my hand. I clutched them to my chest and took a stop back. The officer frowned at me.

"Detective Korsack...have you seen him?" I asked as politely as I could.

"Yeah he just left...he had bit of a row with the lieutenant actually," the officer whispered leaning in and frowning slightly.

"Oh...what about?" I asked curiously.

Usually I didn't get involved in office gossip; but I had a horrible feeling Detective Korsack's row with the lieutenant had something to do with the case he and I were working. The young officer smiled wickedly.

"I guess the old guy was digging up dirt on an old case and the lieutenant flipped shit. Korsack turned down a call to work a new case and handed it off to a newbie to keep on working some five year old hit and run. It was crazy! Korsack turned purple and stormed outta here like a mad man. I don't know what the lieutenant said to him but Korsack was _pissed_!" The young officer said snidely.

He had a cruel smirk on his face that made me furious and worried at the same time.

"Oh...I see! How long ago was this?" I asked casually.

"About five minutes," The officer said.

My heart sank.

"I have to run, maybe I can catch him!" I said.

I turned and ran from the bull pen. I didn't even bother waiting for the elevator. I ran down the stairs all the way to the basement parking garage. I ran around looking for the Detective's car and found him leaning against it smoking a cigarette. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Detective Korsack," I panted.

He turned around and smiled when he saw me. His eyes were heavy and he looked exhausted. His smile was pained and forced. Worry was all over his face. I tried not to panic but his expression was making me nervous.

"I did it Detective Korsack...I finally did it! I lifted the print and I got some DNA from the hair sample! It's only a partial print and just enough DNA to either run one comparison test or run it through the DNA data base. We have to choose. I know the sample was from a male but that's all I know. We can hold the DNA and run the print and if we get a hit we can take DNA from the un sub and compare it to what I found. If it's a match we found our guy...isn't that exciting?" I blurted all of it out so quickly I stumbled over half my words and was out of breath by the time I finished.

Detective Korsack turned his head and stared off in the distance. I frowned. Why wasn't he as excited as I? He should have been elated by my news. Dread poured through my body. Had he changed his mind? Did he not want to work the case with me anymore? I felt a pain in my chest. I needed him. I needed his cooperation. I couldn't do this alone. I promised Jane...I _promised _her! I swore on God and everything I held dear that I would break this case and that she could trust me. I prayed Korsack hadn't changed his mind. I trusted him more than any other detective. I _needed _him!

"What's wrong?" I asked timidly. "Are you backing out?"

Detective Korsack whipped his head around and frowned.

"NO!" he shot at me a little to aggressively.

I stepped back confused by the power behind his voice. Detective Korsack noticed me eyeing him nervously and looked ashamed. He sighed heavily and flicked his cigarette away. He scratched the three day old stubble under his chin and sighed heavily.

"I'm _not _backing out. I had to tell the lieutenant why I passed on a new case and he hit the roof. He doesn't think anyone can ever solve this case. He says we're waisting resources and time looking into it when there are more pressing concerns. He said this case was a lost cause. He _made _me take the new case...I didn't have a choice! He said he'd write me up if I didn't! It's like five years ago all over again." Detective Korsack said sadly.

"I've been running around all afternoon on this new case. Worse the victim was a junkie that got shot by a store customer when he was trying to hold up the place. Whoever killed the guy ran off; but who can blame him for shooting a man that was trying to rob a store at gun point? If he would just come forward I could help him out...we could call it self defense; but of course no one is talking in that neighborhood. I'm going to be beating feet all day tomorrow knocking on doors just to have them slammed in my face." Detective Korsack looked weary and furious at the same time.

My heart felt heavy. He seemed to be under immense pressure and I felt awful adding to it. I didn't want to get him in trouble with the lieutenant; but I couldn't give up so easily.

"That's awful Detective, perhaps if I spoke with the lieutenant myself..."

"...NO! Don't do that. I don't want you fighting my battles for me. I'm going to work the new case...but that doesn't mean I can't work the old one in my free time like you. You give me that print and I'll start running a search on it now. With any luck we'll get a hit on it...that is if the guy is in the system."

I could tell by the set of his jaw and his squared shoulders that he meant business. I smiled widely at him, but it was a sympathetic smile. Detective Korsack was making great personal sacrifices to work this case with me and I appreciated him more than I could say. I flew into his arms and hugged him tightly. The detective seemed shocked at first but then he hugged me back.

"WOW!" he exclaimed, "I should work with you more often if I get hugs like this!" he laughed.

I laughed with him. I told him everything I'd learned from reviewing the case files as we sat in my office. We wrestled Detective Frost into hacking into the fingerprint database from my office computer and we were watching the blur of fingerprints flash on my screen as the program looked for a match to the print. Detective Korsack told me honestly that it could take days to find a match if we found one at all. That upset me but I didn't let it show. I was determined to solve this case one way or another.

It was Friday night and I was supposed to be leaving for the Hampton's with Jane and Angela tomorrow. And probably Consuela too because the woman seemed to be adamant about going wherever Angela went. I don't know how much Jane was looking forward to going to the Hampton's; but I would have to call my mother and cancel. I wasn't going anywhere until we solved this case.

It was late. I looked up at the clock on my wall; it read half past eleven p.m.! I sighed and took another long sip of my very cold coffee. I stared at the crime scene photos again. Detective Korsack was sitting on my couch with files and folders and pictures scattered everywhere. He had taken off his tie and consumed three cups of coffee already but he seemed determined. I appreciated him so much. I'd never worked so closely with another living soul in the precinct before; but I had to admit...it was refreshing.

"It's strange that the driver of the other car didn't get injured in the accident. I found no blood. How is that possible? The entire front end of the car is smashed!" I said frowning at a picture of the car that hit Jane's family.

Korsack grumbled in his bass voice.

"That car had been totally redone post factory. Look at the seats in this picture." Korsack said holding up a picture from across the room.

I squinted my eyes to see it. I shuffled through my own set of pictures to find the one he was referring too.

"They _are _quite odd," I admitted. "I noticed that when I combed through the car looking for evidence,"

"They are racing seats. See the seat belt? It comes over the shoulders and buckles between the legs. The head rests hold the head to place to keep the neck from snapping in high impact crashes. This is Nascar type stuff." Detective Korsack educated me.

"And the air bag had been ripped from the steering wheel. It wasn't there when we got to the scene." He added.

It was my turn to frown.

"Is it possible the driver _was _injured and blood got on the air bag and that's why he took it with him?" I asked curiously.

"I suppose it's possible. But it still doesn't explain why there was no blood anywhere else in the car." Detective Korsack frowned.

I studied the pictures silently for a while longer. I could hear the clock on my wall ticking away the seconds. My eyes felt heavy and were crossing from time to time. I was so tired but I wouldn't stop looking. I reached for my cold coffee again when my eyes landed on something curious in one of the photos.

"This material here caught in the door frame. It looks like it was ripped from someone's clothing. It couldn't have been an officer...this fabric is specialized textile material usually seen in motorcycle riding jackets. It's very strong; it's made to protect a rider if they fell off a bike at high speed. It must have gotten caught in the door when the driver was trying to exit the vehicle and he had to tear the jacket to get loose. I'd have to run test on the fabric; but if it _is _what I think it is; I know it's very expensive and very rare in Boston. There are only a few stores that sell anything like this. I have to find the material...where is it?" I exclaimed.

I ran from my office and into my lab. I tore through the boxes of evidence from the case. Detective Korsack ran in the lab after me panting slightly. His eyes were bright and curious even though he looked even more weary than me.

"It's a tiny piece of fabric. Can you really get all that information from just seeing it in a picture?" Detective Korsack asked incredulously.

I smiled. My head was buried in a box as I looked for the evidence bag with the piece of fabric; but I was more than confident.

"Not only can I identify what the material is if I find it. I can match the color and fabric to the exact make and model of the jacket it came from. If we are lucky it hasn't been discontinued. Either way we can find a picture on the internet of the jacket and print it out. We can ask the bike jacket dealers if they still have it in stock or know anyone who's ever bought one!" I said excitedly.

My voice was muffled by the box but I was practically giddy.

"If we can get a picture of the jacket it's more likely we'd have better luck looking at the biker bars. You said that kind of jacket was really expensive right?" Korsack asked.

"Yes...a jacket made of this type of material will run anywhere between six hundred and a couple of thousand dollars." I said reemerging from the box and throwing it aside to bury my head in another one.

"Really? My guess is the perp still has that jacket. You don't just throw away a couple grand cause you got a little hole in it." he said pointedly.

I frowned in the box.

"It's poor personal etiquette to wear damaged clothing." I said.

I heard Detective Korsack sigh behind me.

"Not everyone can afford to toss something so expensive because of a tiny rip or tear. Anyway, those jackets are sacred to bike riders. They put patches on them to represent their clicks or gangs or whatever the hell."

"It's call being patched in," I said pulling my head from the box and smiling over my shoulder at Detective Korsack.

"It's very fascinating actually. Motorcycle gangs and gangs in general have a very well defined hierarchy of rank. In motorcycle gangs certain patches represent rank, or time served in the gang, whether one has been to prison, whether one has ever murdered, the name of their bike, or their girlfriend...actually I believe bikers refer to their girlfriends as 'old ladies'. Anyway, you are probably right. If the un sub is affiliated with a motorcycle club he most likely still wears that jacket which is wonderful for us. If we find the jacket...we find the un sub. I can match the fabric left in the car to that jacket, we can run his prints against the one I lifted from the soda can, we can match his DNA and..."

"...and we've got the smoking gun! The trifecta...the head shot!" Detective Korsack smiled.

"BONGO!" I said excitedly.

Detective Korsack frowned, then he smiled and shook his head.

"Actually it's _BINGO_, Dr. Isles," he chuckled to himself.

I blushed and stuck my head back in the box.

Detective Korsack and I spent forever looking through the boxes until finally he produced the evidence bag with the fabric. I was so excited I snatched it from his hand and ran to my microscope. Detective Korsack stared over my shoulder the entire time I examined the tiny piece of material. Normally that would have bothered me; but in this case I didn't mind. He wanted answers and he deserved to have them.

"Layers of nylon and Kevlar, cowhide and tanned leather...small amounts of textile materials. I'll have to snip off a small piece of the outer layer and test it to identify it's exact color. I can compare the color to the materials and we can identify the manufacturer that made the jacket and print out a picture of it. Then we can go from there," I said happily as I snipped off a piece of the cloth and to perform the tests.

It took another hour to run the tests but Detective Korsack never left my side.

"You know...if it ends up that this guy is in some kind of gang in the city we won't just be able to walk in his club house and start asking questions. Those guys are really secretive and they spook easily. They are no strangers to the law. If they get wind we're on to one of them that guy with disappear like a ghost in the wind. That's if he's still here at all. Five years is a long time." Detective Korsack frowned.

I sighed over my exam table.

"How do you suggest we proceed?" I asked curiously.

"Undercover," Korsack said bluntly.

I frowned at him.

"_Undercover?"_ I repeated.

"It's the only way to get in close enough that we can meet everybody in a relaxed environment. We'll hook up a camera to you somehow and if we see someone wearing the jacket we'll swipe his DNA under the table and run it. If we're lucky we'll not only get the guy that killed Jane's family; but we could get some pretty big fish in the drug game. Some of those motorcycle clubs do big business in the cocaine and heroine distribution arena. Boy this is going to be a case I can retire on." Korack chuckled.

I wasn't nearly as excited as he was. I didn't want to go tramping around with crooks and criminals and murders. I had a family to support; I couldn't afford to be murdered. I certainly couldn't afford for a violent motorcycle gang to find out I was the CME for the Commonwealth of Massachusets working undercover to put them in prison!

I thought of Jane. I know she wanted me to solve this case; but I imagined she would be less than thrilled if she knew that meant me putting my life on the line. I couldn't seem weak however. I was the one who asked Detective Korsack to help me. There was no one else willing to investigate with us. I couldn't ask Detective Korsack to go it alone into the bowels of the unknown.

"Let's just start with identifying the jacket. Then we'll go from there." I tried not to sound as nervous as I was.

Detective Korsack just shrugged his shoulders.

"Suit yourself," he said casually.

Around two a.m. myself, Detective Korsack, and Detective Frost sat staring at a picture of the motorcycle jacket I'd identified and Frost pulled up on my computer screen.

"It's made by a company called 'Icon'. This is one from their deluxe series. It only sold two hundred units in the United States total. It's much more popular in Japan. It has a leather outer and a textile, Kevlar, and nylon lining. This jacket isn't for the causal rider. Somebody hard core bought this jacket. The company discontinued selling this particular model in the states three years ago. Now it's only available online or over seas. The jacket was only offered for sale at Dick's Sporting Goods and Wilson's Leather. That should narrow down the search if you want to ask around the stores. We don't have many of either of those. Still we're not sure if the guy bought the jacket in this city or even in this state. I bet you he still has it though. Look at the price on this thing. I could pay my rent with that..._twice_!" Frost chuckled.

"I say we ask around the local bike mechanic shops and flash the picture around, see if anyone knows anybody with this jacket." Korsack piped in.

Frost frowned.

"I dunno. Some of those places are fronts for the motorcycle clubs. That's how they launder their drug money. You need a better cover." Frost said pointedly.

"Yeah! What do you know about it pip squeak?" Korsack huffed.

Frost rolled his eyes.

"Let me in on the case and I'll tell you what to do." Frost said crossing his arms glaring at Detective Korsack.

"Computer boy; we just needed your help pulling up a pic on the screen. That's what you're good at! Now go back to your tech stuff and leave the big boy stuff to the big boys." Korsack grumbled.

Frost flew out of his chair shaking in a rage.

"You think I can't be a good detective because I'm black. I can do more than just pull up pictures on a screen. You're a racist, no good, stupid old man who..."

"...I'm not a racist!" Korsack raged. His face was turning an odd puce color.

I was growing more and more nervous as the exchange between the two continued.

"My second wife was black!" Korsack stormed.

"If you'd just give me a chance you'd see I can help you!" Frost shouted.

"OK! Gentlemen!" I said stepping between the two placing either hand on their chests and pushing them back.

"Barry if you can keep quiet about what we're doing we'll be happy for the help. I'm not a detective and any help is appreciated." I smiled at him.

Detective Frost's chest seemed to deflate a little as I smiled at him. He still glared at Korsack though.

"Detective Korsack, wouldn't it be nice to have another detective to help you investigate so you don't have to go it alone? You already have another case to work and this way you'll cover twice the ground in less time. You two can have each other's back...like partners." I said happily.

The two men grumbled under their breath but they took their seats again. I supposed in man language that meant they were sorry and they'd give it a go. I didn't think I was going to hear any verbal apologies though. Men were such strange creatures.

I sat down with a heavy sigh. It was nearing two thirty in the morning and we were all weary and exhausted.

"Detective Frost...what do you think is the best approach?" I asked politely.

"We buy a bike...an old one. We order one of those jackets online and the two of you go around all the bike shops and pretend you want to fix up the bike. That jacket is so rare someone who's seen it before will comment on it. They might even mention they know a guy with the same jacket. You get in good with them. They'll think you're a real bike lover. You'll ask questions...you'll get introduced to the clubs...you keep an eye out for the guy with the same jacket as you. Either that or the guy will hear about you because of the jacket and find you himself. It's your best bet. But you gotta be careful. Some of the clubs and some of those guys are really dangerous. You'll have to pretend Dr. Isles is your old lady. You two can say you're Nomad riders from another state fleeing the law. Say you're looking for a new home. You need to go shopping doc...you gotta look the part." Detective Frost and Detective Korsack exchanged smirks and turned their heads quickly.

I was left feeling odd and put out.

"I have to dress like a...like a biker skamp?" I wailed.

"You mean a biker _skank_?" Frost laughed.

"Yes I suppose. What do biked skanks wear?" I asked curiously.

Frosts' face split into a wide grin. Detective Korsack chuckled into his coffee cup. Frost pulled up some pictures on my computer screen. A woman in a very short leather skirt, black fishnet stockings, tall black pump heels with metal studs protruding from the heel and toe, and a leather vest that showed off her belly button and a great deal of cleavage appeared on the screen. Her hair was jet black and she was wearing dark eyeliner and blood red lipstick. She had a leather collar around her neck and black gloves with metal studs on her hands. I squeaked and covered my mouth in horror. My eyes went wide and my stomach turned. I couldn't possibly wear something like _that!_

"It's so _unseemly_!" I protested.

"It's our best bet. You gotta look like a good 'old lady'" Detective Frost pointed out.

I sighed.

"He's right. It's our best bet. We still haven't gotten a match on the fingerprint. If we find the guy with the jacket you can take his DNA or get a print off something he touches and compare it to the one you lifted off the soda can." Detective Korsack said yawning.

I felt weary and trapped but we'd come this far. It was too late to turn back now. How would I hide this from my girlfriend though? I felt like I'd fallen into a world or craziness.

"_The things I do for love,_" I thought to myself.

"Ok gentlemen, we've done enough for one night. Let's all get some rest and continue on with this Monday morning. If you get a hit on the print call me immediately. I'll do some shopping this weekend just in case we don't get a match." I said shaking my head.

"I can't wait to see how that all turns out," Frost chuckled.

I rolled my eyes.

This was going to be interesting.

**...**

**Jane**

"I want you to stay home today Maura, _please_!" I begged.

Maura was sitting on the edge of the bed holding Angela in her lap. She looked so tired. I knew she was exhausted no matter how much she insisted she was fine. I'd never seen her look like this before. It was six in the morning and Maura was already dressed and insisting that she go back to the precinct. I was furious but I couldn't yell at her. Consuela and James were sleeping and Angela was falling asleep again in Maura's arms. I was dying inside seeing Maura so run down; but the woman was an expert at thwarting my complaints and making excuses to leave for the precinct at the crack of dawn.

It was Saturday morning and we'd been in Boston since Tuesday. Maura had worked insanely long hours the last several days and I was over it. Maura looked like a zombie. She came home every night with red eyes and slumped shoulders barely able to stay awake through dinner. She didn't even come home for dinner last night at all! I'd had to carry her to bed early this morning because she fell asleep on the couch as soon as she came home after three a.m. Tears ran down my face as I changed her clothes and dressed her in her favorite night gown. I loved her so much; but I felt like I was failing her. I felt like I was losing her. I felt like I'd transferred all my pain and needs onto her and she'd absorbed them and was killing herself to make me happy.

I'd never known such selfless love. I'd never known such devotion. No one had ever cared for me so deeply outside of my family. I sat for an hour early this morning just staring at Maura as she slept. There were dark circles under her eyes and her skin looked tight and drawn like she hadn't been eating. I whispered so many things to her as she slept. Declarations of love, promises of devotion, wishes of happiness for her. I'd fallen asleep with my lips against her forehead and my arms wrapped tightly around her. I wished desperately that I wasn't the reason she was in such a state.

I wanted peace for my family. I wanted justice for what happened to them. But I wasn't willing to sacrifice Maura's health or happiness to get it. I wasn't willing to sacrifice my relationship with Maura to get it. Maura had become a woman obsessed with solving my family's case. She was working herself to the bone and it was killing me. I'd pleaded with her to slow down and sleep more; but Maura would only pull away from me, grit her teeth, and insist she'd made me a promise and she was going to keep it. I'd even tried turning off Maura's alarm this morning so she would get more rest; but Angela started crying right when the alarm would have gone off anyway and Maura jumped out of bed to get to her before I could.

I was on my knees in front of Maura. I leaned my forehead on her lap and sighed heavily. Maura looked as weary as she did earlier when I carried her to bed and my heart ached. I felt Maura's fingers run through my hair and a lump formed in my throat. Maura hadn't touched me like that in days. We hadn't made love in a _week_! It felt like she was slipping through my fingers. Like the case was all that mattered to her...well the case and Angela. Maura _always _had time to hold Angela; but she didn't seem to have much time to hold _me_ since we got to Boston.

I _missed _her. I missed her _so _much. I wish we'd never come here, I wish she'd never opened the case. I wanted to go _home_. I wanted to go back to New York and our apartment and our nights in our bed when nothing else mattered but each other. I wanted to see Maura smile again. I wanted to hear her laugh. I wanted her to scold me for not eating veggies, or cursing to much, or watching cartoons, or _anything_! I wanted to make love. I wanted to curl up in her arms. I wanted to hold Maura while she read to Angela at night before we put her to bed. I wanted so many things. But I didn't want _this_. I didn't want to see Maura walking around like a robot anymore. I wanted her back. She was mine!

"I won't be gone all day again Jane...I just...I need to order some things for the case," Maura said peevishly.

I had a feeling she wasn't telling me everything.

"But you said this morning when you got home that you lifted a print and got some DNA and they were waiting for a match...what the hell do you need to order?" I asked curiously.

"I shouldn't have told you that. I must have been extremely tired to have told you that..." Maura looked surprised with herself.

I rolled my eyes.

"...you _were_. You still _are!_ You were pretty much sleep walking and talking when you came home...at _three-thirty_ in the morning might I add!" I said unhappily.

"If they have the print and the DNA there's nothing else you can do. It's up to the detectives now, Maura!" I insisted.

Maura looked down at me with exhausted eyes. My heart broke. I pulled Angela from her arms and lay her back in her new Basinet.

"I'm working with Detectives Frost and Korsack in identifying a biker jacket that..." Maura's voice trailed off.

She had a guilty, horrified look on her face. What was going on? What about a biker jacket? Was she just sleep talking again?

"What _about _a biker jacket?" I asked curiously.

Maura looked like she wanted to bolt for the door. I'd just asked a simple question. Why did she look so nervous? She was the one that mentioned the damn jacket in the first place. She had to expect that I'd be curious.

"I...we found...I have to...Detective Frost said...undercover..._I can't talk about an open case!"_ Maura blurted out the last with wide eyes and a frantic look on her face.

She was breathing heavily and squirming on the edge of the bed. I narrowed my eyes at her.

"Maura...what are you _talking_ about!" I said holding her hands tightly and trying to get her to look at me.

"I just...I have to help the detectives solve the case!" she wailed desperately.

I wouldn't be fooled so easily this time.

"What_ aren't_ you telling me!" I insisted.

"I can't say anymore. I can't talk about an open case and it's to dangerous even if I could talk about it!" Maura sighed.

There was something in her eyes that worried me. I frowned and fixed her with my most stern expression.

"...Maura you're _not _a Detective...you're the Chief ME and you've done all you can! You have to take care of _yourself _now. You're _killing _yourself with this case!" I sighed as I sat next to Maura on the bed.

Maura looked at me sadly.

"I made you a promise sweetheart! I want you to be happy..."

"...I _am _fucking happy!" I wailed.

Maura looked at me through heavy weary eyes. She took my hand and held it gently in her own.

"The lieutenant won't allow Detective Korsack to work on the case during normal work hours. He has to do it in his free time. We found another rookie detective to assist us but it's just the three of us. I have to help or it won't work!" Maura pleaded.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. I crawled back on the bed and pulled Maura onto the pillows with me. I wrapped my arm around her waist and kissed her cheek. Maura smiled for the first time in days. I cradled her face in my hand and brushed her cheek with my thumb. I kissed her smiling lips lightly. I wanted her to always smile. I'd do anything to see her smile. Maura must have felt the same way about me or she wouldn't be driving herself into the ground trying to do what she thought would make me most happy.

"This is too much, Maura. Something will happen with the fingerprint scan. We just have to wait." I said softly.

Maura sighed.

"That could take days if there's a match in the system at all. If not; Detectives Korsack, Frost, and I have a plan to..." Maura's voice trailed off again.

She turned her head away from me. I frowned. What _was _it she wasn't telling me? I pulled her head toward me and kissed her forehead.

"You're killing yourself with this case. I want you back, I want you healthy, I want you _with _me. That's what makes me happy Maura." I whispered in her ear.

Maura looked startled by my words.

"I'm _always _with you Jane,"

"You haven't been. Not the last couple of days. It's like your mind is in another place whenever you are around and you're gone most of the time. We haven't made love in a week!" I exclaimed.

Maura chuckled.

"I miss that too." she admitted.

I giggled with her.

"_See_...how about you stay home and sleep a while longer. It's fucking _Saturday_ and you're on leave anyway! I'll make you breakfast and we can spend the day together,"

Maura sighed.

"But the _case_. I need shop around for..."

"...Maura! You've done everything you can! The detectives can handle it from here. I want you _back_." I pleaded.

Maura started to protest again but I pulled her into a kiss. A deep, passionate, loving kiss. Maura tensed for a few moments; then I felt her body relax and she let me kiss her with all the passion I'd been missing for days. I felt the heat stir inside me. I felt my heart flutter. I felt my lips tremble against her own. I rolled over and covered Maura's body with mine. Maura moaned softly and pulled me close opening her mouth and her legs for me. She wrapped her legs around my waist and her fingers in my hair. I kissed her desperately. I'd missed her _so _much. I loved her _so _much. I kissed her neck and whispered sweet things in her ear. Maura sighed and moaned and squirmed beneath me. She ran her hands over my body and my muscles quivered with her touch.

"Please stay with me today?" I whispered in her ear.

Maura smiled up at me. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were tired; but she smiled at me lovingly. I'd missed that smile. My heart ached for her. I hated seeing my love so weary and run down. I hated knowing it was because of me that she drove herself so hard. I felt so guilty. What had I given Maura that I deserved so much sacrifice on her part? What could I ever do for her to make up for everything she'd done for me? Even in her absence I knew Maura loved me; she was only absent _because _of me. As I stared deep into Maura's beautiful hazel eyes all I saw was love. I felt a tear run down my face. I felt my heart break and soar. Maura cradled my face in her hand and brushed back my hair.

"We could take Angela to the park later," she whispered.

I smiled.

"I have something else in mind, but you have to sleep now little angel." I said softly.

Maura smiled. I helped her undress and we fell asleep again wrapped in each other's arms.

**A/N: Jane's nosy ass will get involved in this case somehow...you know how she is!**


	21. Possibilities

**Maura**

"Is your mother upset, Maura?" Jane asked appearing in my office rubbing her sleepy eyes and yawning.

I quickly closed my laptop computer and smiled at Jane. At Jane's adamant insistence I'd slept four more hours this morning wrapped in her arms. I had snuck out of bed an hour ago to buy the motorcycle from eBay that I'd need for my undercover work. I'd also called my mother to cancel our visit to the Hamptons. I didn't wake Jane. She looked tired and was sleeping so soundly; I didn't want to stir her away from what I hoped were pleasant dreams. Besides, I needed to be away from her to order the bike and speak to Detective Korsak who informed me there still was no match for the print I'd lifted. This information didn't bother me as much as I thought it would. I was convinced I would solve the case one way or another. Jane's pajamas were twisted oddly on her body and her hair was a rat's nest of a mess; but she was absolutely adorable. Jane narrowed her eyes at me when she saw me close my computer so quickly.

"What were you just doing?" she asked curiously.

I didn't falter in giving an answer.

"I was working on your family's case." I said simply.

I wasn't going to tell her I'd been ordering a motorcycle to go undercover; but I wouldn't lie either. I hoped my answer would suffice for now. Jane's face turned grumpy.

"You're not supposed to be working! We talked about this earlier; today you rest. For Christ sake even God rested on the seventh day!" Jane pouted.

I stood and sauntered over to her. I didn't miss the way Jane's eyes lingered over my calves as I walked. I was wearing what I'd discovered were her favorite pair of my heels. I loved the satisfied grin she tried to hide. I wrapped my arms around her neck and kissed her sweetly. Jane didn't resist. In fact her eyes started to burn with lust and her hands roamed my body ravenously. I felt my face flush and escalating arousal within my core. I missed her touch. Working so much the last several days I'd been absent this type of intimacy with Jane. Now in her arms my spirit felt light and my erogenous zones felt like fire scorching with desire and needs. My mind scrolled through the memories of all the ways Jane pleased my body in the past. I ached for her touch. I kissed her like I missed her.

"Where's the baby, honey?" I asked when little by little I broke the kiss, taking deep breaths as I tried to steady myself.

Jane smiled down at me; her eyes glassy with her own arousal.

"Consuela's got her. I swear that woman thinks Angela is _her_ baby!" Jane glowered.

I smiled.

"It's sweet don't you think? She loves Angela and it's nice to have the help." I said happily.

Jane just shrugged her shoulders; but she couldn't deny what I said was true. We hadn't agreed on a nanny yet; but I believe the idea of having one was growing on Jane. Despite Jane's insistence that I'd been working too hard; I knew she and James were working just as hard in locating Jane's lost nephew. Jane had come a long way in accepting responsibility of her nephew's care since our argument in the car several days ago. I loved her even more for it. Jane had grown so much since I met her. So had I for that matter. We were both far from perfect. Jane still had her demons and trust issues. I still had my anger and lingering self deprecating habits when faced with fallacious situations; but I was proud of the strides both Jane and I were making with the support of each other.

"She's been a big help these last few days. You've been working like crazy and James and I have been swamped making phone calls and visiting group homes and all kinds of awful stuff. I'm so glad Consuela came with us to Boston. I don't want to take Angela to any of those awful group home places, Maura! Some on them smell like _pee_ and the kids all look so sad...and _hungry_! I hope my nephew isn't in one of those places." Jane said sadly.

"If he is, he won't be for long. His amazing aunt Jane will save him!" I said sweetly as I kissed Jane's lips again.

Jane smiled down at me.

"His amazing aunt Jane and his even _more_ amazing Aunt Maura will save him! But in the meantime what did your mother say?" Jane asked again.

I could tell by the tone of her voice she was worried my mother said something to hurt me. Jane was studying my face closely looking for signs of pain or abuse. I felt myself fall more in love with her in that moment. Albert told me Jane danced with my mother at the fundraiser and my mother was near tears by the end of the dance. I had a feeling Jane was the reason for my mother's sudden interest in being a part of my life. The woman called me four times over the last week and she'd sounded particularly upset when I canceled our visit to the Hamptons this weekend. Jane never spoke a word about her having talked to my mother; but I was no fool. Jane's muscles were tense and her eyes were bright like a tiger ready to pounce. She'd protect me with her life if she had too. I smiled up at my love.

"She was upset; but I promised I'd make it up to her later." I said honestly.

Jane grimaced.

"You don't owe her anything," Jane said holding me more closely.

"I know honey; but I would like to see her again. She wants to meet Angela."

Jane's eyebrows rose.

"What?" she spat.

"She wants to meet my family...Angela is part of my family." I said trying to kiss Jane again.

"She sure has turned over a new leaf!" Jane exclaimed.

I smiled and kissed her. I didn't want to talk about my mother. I didn't want Jane upset in my arms. There were so many other things on my mind; much more pleasurable things. Jane lifted me off my feet while sitting me on the desk never breaking our kiss. I giggled and moaned against Jane's lips. I ran my hands under Jane's pajama top and smiled when I found her nipples to be hard. Jane sighed and whimpered when I ran my fingers over them. She spread my legs and ran her hands up my thighs. My legs quivered. Jane nipped at my neck and said many dirty things in my ear that made me ache with desire. I made no attempts to stop Jane from unbuttoning my blouse and caressing my breasts. It was what I wanted; I wanted Jane...I wanted everything. I'm sure Jane's feisty hands would have led us other places but James appeared in the doorway with tousled hair still dressed in his pajamas.

"I just got a call from my contact out here. I think he's found the boy!" James exclaimed excitedly; then his face faltered.

Poor James turned pale, then pink, then bright red when he saw what he'd interrupted.

"OH!...gosh I'll come back later!" James said, flushing furiously as he dizzily shook his head.

Jane giggled, I rolled my eyes.

"We'll meet you at the breakfast table in five minutes," I sighed.

I wanted to keep kissing Jane; among other things. James disappeared from the doorway. Jane's eyes were lively with excitement.

"That's _great _Maura! I can't wait to meet my nephew!" She said happily.

Jane pecked me on the lips and disappeared from the room. I was left sitting on my desk feeling decidedly neglected. I buttoned my blouse and sighed heavily. I was happy to hear good news about Jane's nephew. Still, there were parts of me that craved, needed, and ached for attention. The type of attention only Jane could give me. I looked down at my heels and smiled. I decided to find a way to clear the house of unnecessary people later. I'd been without Jane long enough; I intended to make up for that.

I walked into the kitchen and kissed Angela's forehead as she squealed in her high chair. I wiped the mashed banana from her face and she giggled at me clapping her hands and holding up her arms to be picked up. Franklin Thomas was licking drops of mashed banana from the floor that Angela had splashed around. I pulled the baby from her high chair and sat next to Jane who seemed particularly grumpy all of a sudden. I was the only one dressed. Jane, Consuela, James, and Angela were still in their pajama's.

I held Angela close and cooed at her lovingly. She wiggled and squirmed in my lap trying to pull my hair and chew on my necklace. I pinched her dimpled cheeks and tickled her tummy making her giggle and squeal. I laid her against my chest and patted her back while I listened to Jane and James speak. They were deep in conversation about their efforts to locate Jane's nephew.

"You having more babies come live here?" Consuela screeched from the stove where bacon was sizzling in a skillet.

Jane sighed.

"My nephew...and he's not a baby, he's like five or six by now!" Jane said.

Consuela looked fit to be tied.

"Not another one of _you!_" She wailed. "You messy, and Angela messy, and now you bring boy here? He be _extra_ messy!"

"Consuela it will be fine! Stop stressing out! I'm stressed enough already." Jane hissed.

Consuela grumbled and complained about Miss Jane's bad attitude and her messy babies. I suppressed a chuckle.

"So am I to understand that you two found the boy?" I asked, taking a sip of my orange juice.

Angela pushed off of my shoulder, reached for a piece of my soy bacon, and threw it on the floor where Franklin Thomas was waiting to gobble it down.

"Angela NO!" Jane said, swatting Angela's hand lightly to make her point.

Angela cried in my arms. She sobbed and wailed and writhed to be released. I held her tightly against my chest and kissed her little cheeks.

"It's ok sweetheart. Don't cry baby girl! Maddy's here...I won't let mommy hurt you anymore." I cooed at her.

Jane looked furious.

"Maura, you can't keep _coddling _her! Daddy's are supposed to be _tough_! She can't keep on with this bad behaviour. That soy loaf you eat cost eight dollars a pound! She needs to learn to appreciate things and not waist them." Jane wailed at me.

I rolled my eyes and kissed Angela's forehead.

"She's only one year and four months old, Jane!" I said pointedly. "And I'm not a daddy...I'm Maddy! Angela's my sweet girl!" I said tickling Angela's tummy.

I made a mental note to have a discussion with Jane about age appropriate discipline and what children were capable of understanding at various ages. I could tell now was not the time, however. During my pediatrics and psychiatric rotations I learned that children were not to be swatted or given time outs until at least the age of two. Under the age of two behaviors should be redirected with verbal commands. Even knowing this to be true, I had a feeling Jane didn't want to hear it at the moment. I focused instead on placating Angela.

Angela giggled at laughed. Her bright brown eyes shone with excitement. I'd missed holding her and feeding her and spending time with her this past week. The case had consumed me for days; but I was elated to be with my family again. I could hold Angela all day and never get tired of her. She made me feel peace and at ease even though my mind was heavy and labored with thoughts of what I might have to do come the next week. I pushed those thoughts aside for now. There was no place for thoughts of potential danger while at my family's breakfast table. I would enjoy today and enjoy Angela and Jane. I looked over at Jane. She was still frowning at me over the rim of her coffee cup. I knew she wasn't finished arguing with me about Angela.

"She won't be a baby forever. And she'll think she can get away with anything if she doesn't have some discipline. Back me up here Maura; I can't be the bad guy all the time!" Jane wailed.

I sighed and looked down at Angela who was giggling again and chewing on my diamond necklace.

"_See_ don't let her do that!" Jane insisted.

I kissed Angela's cheek and sat her in her high chair again.

"Hows that," I asked, as I handed Angela her favorite stuffed animal.

Angela laughed playfully and went about chewing on the stuffed animal's ear.

"_Redirection,_" I said to proudly to myself.

Jane shook her head and looked at me like I was hopeless; but her eyes were filled with love. She gave me a patronizing smile before she turned back to James.

"So what's the next step? Lydia obviously doesn't want the kid. So how do I get him?" Jane asked bluntly.

"We can't do anything until we run a DNA test on the kid." James insisted.

"He's in a foster home with _eight _other kids! He's my _nephew _I want him _now_!" Jane hissed.

She was holding her fork so tightly I thought it might snap in her hand.

"Yes but Jane, you aren't a foster caregiver. You have to go through months of training and certification and all sorts of stuff before you can be a foster caregiver. As far as they're concerned you are a stranger walking in off the streets claiming a kid that we don't even know for sure he is your nephew. We have to get the DNA test and _then _we can make a case that the kid belongs with you because you're his only living relative."

Jane growled furiously.

"Well let's do that...let's get going!" Jane said standing and grabbing her car keys off the kitchen counter.

"It's not that _simple_...we have to ask permission to run the test first." James sighed.

"WHAT! From _who_! He's _my _nephew and _my_ responsibility!" Jane raged.

Her brows were furrowed and her jaw quivered. I knew Jane was on the verge of exploding into another rage and it was making everyone uncomfortable.

"Jane, please honey. Sit down. James knows what he's doing; we have to hear him out!" I pleaded.

"But...!" Jane started to protest.

I picked Angela up from her high chair and handed her to Jane. Jane was less likely to storm around if she was holding her baby. She grumbled and complained under her breath but sat anyway. Consuela bustled over and piled bacon on Jane's and James' plates. Then went about pouring everyone more coffee.

"Consuela, sit down. You're not supposed to be working." I implored her.

Consuela scowled at me.

"I always working. House fall apart if I not working. Now we have new baby coming home!I be nanny for two! Oh I be so busy now," she huffed.

"Consuela, you aren't Angela's nanny!" Jane protested.

Consuela glared at her.

"You not hire anyone else yet! That because they all silly bimbo's! I be Angela's nanny...and I want a raise!" Consuela hissed between Jane and I.

Jane started to protest but I lay my hand on her arm gently and shook my head.

"FINE! You old bat you're hired!" Jane said grumpily.

Consuela huffed and spilled coffee on Jane's pajama pants '_accidentally'!_

Jane screeched and thundered springing from her chair and hopping around. I quickly pulled Angela from her arms who was waiving her hands excitedly and squealing.

"It's _burning_...it's _burning_...I need _ice_...I need ICE!" Jane yowled.

Jane's face was red and her eyes were wide and hysterical. Franklin Thomas took advantage of the pandemonium and leaped in Jane's empty chair and gobbled down her bacon. Jane looked manic. I suppressed fits of giggling. I set Angela back in her high chair and filled a sandwich bag full of ice for Jane. I raised my eyebrow at Consuela when I caught her eye. She just turned up her nose and went back to loading the dishwasher with a smug smirk on her face. I rolled my eyes. I shushed Jane and helped her dry her pants with a towel. Jane sat back in the chair and held the ice against her upper thigh grimacing angrily. I leaned down and kissed her softly several times. I felt some of the tension leave Jane's body when I pulled out of the kiss. Jane was grinning at me when I sat down. I squeezed her knee under the table and winked at her. It was good to know I could still dissuade her anger with a few kisses and a smile. James seemed amused.

"So how long have you two been married?" He cracked.

James had continued to eat his breakfast throughout the morning mayhem.

Jane looked confused.

"We're not married." she said innocently.

"Really? I can't tell. You two sound like me and my wife!" James smirked.

Jane had an odd expression on her face; I thought I saw her smile before she stuffed a piece of toast in her mouth.

I smiled at him and urged him to continue his conversation about Jane's nephew.

"Since the child is a minor his care falls fully in the hands of his foster parents. They have to give their express permission for us to collect his DNA for testing or it isn't admissible in court. I'm going to drive out there today and see what I can do." he said.

"I'm coming with you!" Jane insisted.

James' smile faltered.

"It would be best if you didn't until we know for sure that he's your nephew."

"I want to see how he's living. I want to see this farm or whatever you said it was. If they're mistreating him I swear to God..."

"...Yes see _that's _why you can't come! You have a bit of a temper Jane..."

"...No I DON'T!" Jane shouted at him.

James looked startled.

"Jane," James said carefully "If you meet this kid you could get attached to him and he to you. If he ends up not being your nephew it could devastate both of you."

"Well, how long does the DNA test take." Jane sighed.

"I can do it myself," I piped in.

James shook his head.

"It needs to be done by an approved clinic of the state. You're to close to Jane. It could be said that you altered the results and we could get tied down in court for months because of it." James pointed out.

Jane was fuming.

"Well how _long _then!" Jane hissed again.

"If the foster givers give me permission to collect DNA samples, then we could have results in a few days. But even still we have to be able to prove you're able to care for the child."

"Not another _inspection_!" Jane wailed.

My heart dropped. I knew everyone in the room was remembering how horribly the last inspection went. Jane looked like she wanted to burst into flames or fade away!

"_Yes _another inspection and there's no use yelling at me about it. If it were up to me we'd test the kid's DNA and if he were a match we'd take him and run, but it's not up to me. You know by now the system is particular about these types of situations. They aren't just going to hand the kid over no questions asked." James said wearily.

"Oh nooooo!" Consuela cried.

"We not _survive _another one of those inspections! Miss Jane almost strangle Doctor last time. Doctor turn funny color, evil diablo dog try and eat you! Everything so crazy and we all end up in _hospital!_ Next time we end up in _coffin!_" Consuela's eyes were twitching and her voice was high and panicking.

"I hate to say it but I agree with Consuela! We'll never survive another one of those. We barely made it out of the last one alive! This is a _nightmare_!" Jane said shaking her head and balling her hands into fists.

"Maura...you can't be home for the next inspection!" she looked at me sternly.

I furrowed my brow and spat angrily at her.

"I most certainly _will _be home! They need to see us as a family unit and I'm part of the family!"

"Yes but sweetheart...you lack certain...I don't mean this in a bad way...it's just that...Maura you broke out into HIVES! You spent half the time crying and the other half of the time _freaking out_! I can't go through that again..I was scared you were going to pass out or something. It's just too much stress for you. You don't do well in high pressure situations, that's all I'm saying." Jane said with pleading yet haunted eyes.

"That was different. We had to lie that time! This time we can just tell the truth...you're my girlfriend and that's all there is too it. Why can't you have more faith in me? I'm working myself to death trying to solve you're family's case...you think that's not a high stress situation? You apparently have no idea how much of myself I'm willing to sacrifice for you. I'm the CEO of a multibillion dollar corporation and the CME for the Common Wealth of Massachusets. I managed to keep my company turning a profit even in this recession and I'm a damn good Medical Examiner. I know all about high stress situations! I'm not an idiot Jane! If you believe I can solve your family's case why can't you believe that I can keep it together for another inspection?" I said angrily.

Everyone at the table looked stunned. Jane looked weary and like she wanted to cry.

"I _do_ believe in you Maura! I just don't want to put you in another situation where you get so stressed out you fall apart again. You were a mess last time! I don't like to see you like that...it scares me." Jane said staring down at her plate.

Her eyes looked watery and her voice was low and laced with sadness. I suddenly felt awful about being so defensive. Jane had every right to be apprehensive. I _was_ a terrible mess at the last inspection...but I wouldn't have to lie this time. Jane and I could stand on the truth and overcome any obstacle that came our way. I took Jane's hand in mine and squeezed it lightly. She looked up at me with uncertain eyes.

"I'm not the same mess of a person I was during the last inspection. I'm better now because of you. I won't fail you again little princess," I said softly.

Jane smiled and blushed.

"I believe in you; I just worry about you," she repeated softly.

She looked lovingly in my eyes as she spoke to me. I felt my heart flutter. I cradled her face in my hand and she leaned over and kissed me deeply. My heart was soaring. I closed my eyes and opened my mouth for her. Jane chuckled and pulled me out of my chair and into her lap. I squealed and squirmed but Jane caught me in another deep heated kiss. I moaned softly against her lips and wrapped my arms around her neck. Jane groped at my breasts and I didn't even bother to stop her. I'd missed her touch far to much to deny her a pleasure she'd been without for so long. Jane whispered something dirty in my ear and I laughed. It felt good to laugh.

"Oh NO! Now you sexing at breakfast table...in front of_ baby_ and _Mr. James_! Stop this..._stop!_ You make everyone here sick to stomach!" Consuela screeched.

Consuela started squirting Jane in the back of the head with a 409 bottle. Jane broke our kiss and started cursing. She flailed her arms trying to grab the bottle from Consuela. Consuela took two steps back and started squirting Jane in the face. Jane sputtered and spit as the spray got in her mouth. Jane raged and leaned further back in the chair. Before I could stop it the chair tipped over and Jane and I toppled to the floor. Jane let out a gasp as I landed on top of her.

"Consuela what the HELL!" Jane raged from her back.

"I cool you down before you start getting naked on kitchen table!You keep filthy hands off doctor in front of guest and baby! Doctor never be so horny before you come here. You like dog in heat all the time humping!" Consuela grumbled.

Jane scrunched her face in a frown and started to protest; but I was laughing hysterically. Jane looked at me like I was crazy then her face broke out into a smile. I wiped Jane's face with her pajama top and kissed her again. I pushed my hips into hers and smiled when I felt Jane's hands running up my thighs under my skirt. I moaned softly into our kiss. Consuela started screeching and poking at Jane with the broom handle. Jane swatted at the broom but never broke our kiss. Eventually she ripped the broom from Consuela's hands and tossed it aside. Franklin Thomas yipped and ran out of the room when the broom smacked him on the butt. Jane was glassy eyed and grinning widely when I finally crawled off of her and helped her to her feet.

James chuckled.

"This is the best breakfast I've had in a long time...like ever! I get waffles and a show and I'm on the clock!" he smirked.

I felt my face redden and so I turned my head. I forgot James was even in the room. Jane was such a distraction. My sexual needs had overcome my senses. Jane smiled wickedly and pinched my butt. I jumped and squeaked and smacked her hand playfully. I narrowed my eyes at her but smiled despite myself. I'd make her pay for that later.

"Let's just focus on getting custody of Jane's nephew!" I said taking my seat and pulling Jane into hers.

James kept chuckling but he moved on anyway.

"You need to establish a permanent residency somewhere. Are you going to be living here or in New York? If you leave New York then DCS there will transfer Angela's case to Massachusets and you'll have to do an inspection here. If you take the nephew back to New York then Massachusetts DCS will transfer his case to New York and you'll have to do an inspection for him there." James sighed.

I wanted to cry. Everywhere we turned we were facing inspections. As vehemently as I'd stated my case that I could handle another inspection; it was still the last thing I wanted to do. Jane looked like she wanted to spit nails.

"Maura and I will provide for him. I'm so tired of this red tape bullshit!" Jane fumed.

"Honey _please _don't curse in front of Angela." I sighed.

Jane glared at me.

"Well...these are things you have to consider Jane. The boy is school aged. He needs a solid stable home. You can't just run back and forth to New York and Boston during school season. And since Maura is technically Angela's caregiver at the moment, that could be brought into question too!" James said.

"But Angela is MY daughter..." Jane started to rage.

I cut her off immediately.

"What's the worst case scenario?" I asked plainly.

James sighed and shook his head.

"Worst case scenario the foster givers don't give us permission to take DNA from the kid. Then we have to fight it out in court and that could take months. Worse than that, the child could end up not being Jane's nephew when we do get permission to take his DNA sample. We will have wasted countless amounts of time and money and possibly have to do it all over again when we find the right kid. Another worst case scenario is they _still _don't grant Jane custody when we find the right kid, or only allow weekend supervised visits for months until they believe Jane can care for him; though we all know she can. We could get tied up in this thing for a year if we don't play our cards right." James insisted.

"Additionally, we don't know if this child is healthy or not. He might have special needs. He may have mental health issues. He may have been abused in some way. I just don't know until I drive out there and meet him." James sighed.

All of a sudden Jane looked dejected. She was staring down at her plate and blinking her eyes furiously trying not to cry. The thought of the boy being hurt or abused upset her. I could see the sadness and guilt creeping back into her mind. The boy was her last link to the family she had lost. He represented so much of her past and her future. I didn't know exactly what she was thinking; but I definitely saw the tears behind her eyes and it broke my heart. We needed to find the boy sooner rather than later for Jane's peace of mind. I stood behind her chair with my hands on her tense shoulders massaging them gently. I would support her no matter what happened. I wanted us to move forward as a family; I'd never stand for Jane falling back into her darkness.

"When you gather the DNA take two samples. Give one to me. I'll run it as soon as you get back. I know it won't be admissible in court but we need to know one way or another as soon as possible." I said firmly.

James looked weary.

"I can't take a sample if they won't let me," James insisted.

I thought for a moment.

"Give the boy a juice box. Make sure he drinks it and then take it with you when you leave. I can get DNA from the straw. If he won't drink it give him a tissue to wipe his nose; that would work just as well." I smiled.

"That's devious!" James grinned.

Jane looked up at me curiously. Her dark eyes sparkled with excitement.

"Look at you! You _are _a bad girl these days, Maura!" Jane grinned devilishly.

I smiled proudly. I leaned over and pecked Jane's lips. Jane giggled and pulled me closer whispering dirty things in my ear and grabbing at my breasts again. I laughed and kissed her face many times.

"OK! Well I'm going to get going." James said getting out of his chair and looking away from us.

His face was flushed and his voice was unsteady.

I smiled at him.

"Are we making you uncomfortable?" I laughed.

"NO!" James squeaked.

He ran from the kitchen and up the stairs to change his clothes. Jane and I giggled and continued on kissing each other. Jane pulled me into her lap and I wrapped my arms around her nuzzling my lips against her ear and whispered all the intimate details of how much I missed spending time with her. Jane flashed her devilish grin at me and tried to sneak feels of certain parts of my body inappropriate to touch at the breakfast table. I didn't pull away. I just kissed her harder. My body exploded with desire. I moaned against her lips.

"Why must you two be this way at the breakfast table? It good you two both women because if one of you was man, the other would be pregnant _all the time! _Ay Dios mio!" Consuela squawked.

Consuela pulled Angela from her high chair and glared at us. Her entire face was crumpled in a disapproving frown. I rolled my eyes. James scampered down the stairs, out the front door, and was gone.

"Do you mind taking Angela to the park Consuela? Jane and I have some making up to do!" I grinned.

Consuela rolled her eyes, clicked her tongue, and muttered under her breath in Spanish.

"Oh baby..." Jane grinned wickedly, "...I'm going to make so many things up to you!"

She pulled her keys from her pajama pocket and tossed them to Consuela. Jane's lustful grin set my core on fire. I flushed with yearning. My body tingled with anticipation. I'd give myself to Jane any and every way she wanted. She lifted me in her arms with no effort at all. I squealed and wrapped my arms around her neck and my legs around her waist. I kissed her deeply. God I missed her kisses.

"So much sexing...all the _time _sexing!" Consuela wailed.

Consuela bustled about gathering the stroller and diaper bag. She hissed and wailed the whole way out the door about our inappropriate 'sexing'. Jane and I barely heard her. I was too busy laughing in Jane's arms as she grasped and fondled my breasts beneath my blouse whispering so many dirty things. I ran my hands all over her body and whispered dirty words of my own. Jane lay me on the kitchen table and giggled between the kisses she landed all over my body.

"I missed you, Maura" She cooed at me.

I smiled as Jane unfastened the buttons of my blouse. I sighed and moaned softly.

"I missed you _too _sweetheart," I said breathlessly.

I _had _missed her. I'd worked so much the last few days I'd barely seen Jane or Angela awake. For the first time in several days I felt rested and whole. I squirmed as Jane pulled my blouse over my shoulders and unfastened my bra. She attacked me in her passion. Jane pulled me to the edge of the table and pushed my skirt over my waist. I squealed and wrapped my fingers in Jane's hair as she pulled down my panties and kissed my thighs. I closed my eyes and smiled. Jane was hungry for me. I knew it. She was wasting no time in sending me toward my ecstasy. I'd denied her what she loved most for many days as she had denied me many days before that. I would fight her no longer. I pushed aside all thoughts of the case and the hell we might have to face in gaining custody of Jane's nephew. This was _my _time. This was _our _time. This was _everything_.

I whispered dirty, nasty things to Jane as she kissed up and down my legs that were spread wide for her. Everything tingled and the world around us faded away. I was in the arms of my lover again..._finally_. I felt my nipples harden as Jane sensually kissed my belly button. She moved her kisses lower and lower. Jane pulled my underwear off but didn't remove my heels. She loved me in heels. She always smiled when I walked into a room wearing them. I loved the way her eyes lingered over my calves when I would walk. I knew she was thinking dirty things. It always made me feel beautiful. Jane's eyes were lascivious as she leaned over me and kissed my neck whispering dirty but oh so sweet words in my ear.

"You're so fucking _sexy_!" Jane said in a quivering voice laced with desire.

"I want you so bad...I _love _your body...I love _everything_!" Jane said kissing me deeply and running her hands up and down my thighs.

I wrapped my hands in Jane's hair and pulled her into me. She took my breast in her mouth and I cried out to her in hungry desire. Jane's hair fell over my face and chest. I inhaled the scents of her lavender shampoo and was intoxicated with the essence of her. I felt my center burning for release. My mind and body were screaming in pleasure and anticipation. My sex ached for her touch. The parts deep inside me swelled, throbbed, and screamed for attention. I felt my hips rise and push into Jane. Jane looked down at me and smiled wickedly.

"How _much _did you miss me?" Jane whispered against my lips.

I whimpered softly.

"_So _much baby..." I gasped. "..._So _much"

Jane smiled. My entire body shuddered when I felt her fingers run through my slit lightly. I felt myself soak her fingers instantly. I pulled Jane's hair and she cried out in surprise and excitement.

"You like that?" Jane asked, her voice low and husky.

Her eyes burned with arousal. Her face was flushed and she bit her bottom lip to keep it from trembling. She wanted me. She wanted everything. I would give her everything. I belonged to her. My body was her temple and I wanted her to worship me, push me, drive me to all the heavenly places I wanted to go. I ripped at Jane's pajama top pulling it roughly over her head. Jane cried out in surprise but she didn't resist. I lay beneath her on the kitchen table and kissed her so hard I thought our lips would bruise. I ran my hands up and down her body feeling every muscle that I'd come to know so well but wanted to know even better. Jane moved on top of me; our skin slid over each other's absorbing the heat one body gave to another. I cupped Jane's breasts in my hands and squeezed her nipples between my fingers. Jane heaved and sighed and moaned softly. Her head flew back and she looked at me with those beautiful dark eyes. I saw her lust. I saw her desire. I saw her love for me in those gorgeous brown orbs.

"I missed this_ so_ much baby!" I moaned, kissing Jane's neck.

Jane smiled down at me. Her hair was wild and her curls tumbled over her shoulders and tickled my cheeks. I bit Jane's lip and pulled her into another kiss. Jane moaned in pain and exhilaration. She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me up into her arms. I squealed and giggled. She was impossibly strong. Jane sat in a chair and I straddled her. Jane's eyes ran over my body and her lust amplified. She squeezed my ass and grinned wickedly. I pulled her head back roughly by her hair and kissed her deeply again cupping her breasts and scratching at her abdomen. Her muscles trembled. Jane lifted my skirt around my waist again and teased my clit with her fingers. I moaned and my hips swirled in her lap. I was on fire. Jane's fingers teased my clit harder flicking over it in slow methodic circles. Jane's long fingers possessed so much skill. She knew just how to touch me. She knew just how to move me. She knew exactly what to say to make me tremble with desire.

I nipped at Jane's lips and pushed my tongue into her hungry mouth. The kiss was sloppy, wet, wonderful. Jane's free hand massaged my breasts as I squirmed on top of her. I rocked my hips against hers to the rhythm of our bodies and the motion of Jane's fingers rubbing my clit. I moaned softly through trembling lips. My back arched and my hips bucked beyond my control. It was simply a reaction to the pleasure and the hunger Jane brought out of me. My moans were soft and high; my voice was broken and unsteady. I felt my thighs dampen. I ached inside and out. My body knew what my mind wanted, my mind knew what my body needed. I wrapped my arms around Jane's neck and pulled her face between my breasts. Jane giggled and kissed me softly as her fingers continued to tease between my legs. My hair fell over Jane's face and shoulders and I whispered softly in her ear.

"Please Jane...I _need _you...I need this...I want you _inside _of me..._please_ Janie!" I begged her desperately.

Jane pulled back and smiled at me. I tried to kiss her but she pulled away. I whined and pleaded with her to touch me. She kissed my chin and down my jaw finally nuzzling her lips against my ear.

"Tell me what you want," She whispered to me softly.

"_Please _Janie don't tease me anymore...I can't _take _it! _Give _me what I want!" I begged her.

I tried to kiss her again but Jane wrapped her hand around my neck and held me still. She wasn't choking me, but I couldn't move. She held my neck firmly in her hand as she continued to tease my clit. My breathing quickened and my whimpers grew louder and more desperate if not slightly choked from the pressure on my throat. It only made me want her more. I scratched my hands down Jane's back and she screamed in pain. Her eyes bore into mine. I'd never seen them look so bright and so dark at the same time. Her expression was stony like ice. She exuded power and control. I was hers for the ravishing and she knew it. There was nothing I wouldn't give her in this moment. My body was hers to do with as she pleased. I was putty in her hands.

Jane loved the power. She loved the way my eyes pleaded with her for release. She loved the way my clit throbbed against her fingers and my juices moistened her hand. She loved the way my breasts heaved in her face and my hips squirmed in her lap. I could tell by the grin that spread across her face. I could tell by the way she teased my clit just enough to drive me crazy but not enough to satisfy me. She knew I wanted her. She knew she was pushing my body to its limits. She heard my moans and my pleas for more. She saw my flushed sweaty face. She tasted the salty sweat of my skin.

"You want me baby?" Jane whispered against my lips.

She never took her hand from around my neck. She loved the control. She loved what she was doing to me. I nodded my head slightly. Jane arched her eye brow at me.

"Yes ma'am would be the proper response." Jane said in a low, dangerous, husky voice.

I felt another flush of arousal run through me. Jane was so beautiful, but so powerful at the same time. Something was happening to me. Something I'd never experienced. I'd given myself to Jane before but this was different. I'd never seen Jane look as sexy as she did in that moment as I straddled her lap, with her hand around my neck, her fingers driving my clit wild, and my body aching for her.

"Yes...ma'am!" I whispered.

Jane's eyes caught fire. She pushed her fingers deep inside of me. I screamed out in ecstasy. My eyes went wide. My legs trembled. I gripped Jane's hair tightly. She pushed her fingers as deep as they would go. My entire body shuddered. My eyes rolled in my head. My back arched. Jane kissed my neck and started working her fingers in and out of me. Her thrust inside me were powerful, slow, and full of purpose. I sighed and moaned and cried. I grabbed the back of Jane's chair, planted my heels on the floor for leverage and started riding Jane's fingers.

Jane's eyes burned with desire. I bounced up and down in her lap. Her fingers curled and worked hard as they slid in and out of me. My insides were convulsing like crazy. I could feel myself opening and spreading for Jane. I felt my juices flow out of me and my body shook with the pleasure of it. My breasts bounced in Jane's face the harder and faster I rode her hand. Jane wrapped her free arm around my waist and pulled me closer to her. She pulled my body into each one of her thrust and I screamed in pleasure. She took my breast in her mouth again as I rode her faster. My face burned, my lashes fluttered, my skin glistened with perspiration. I bit my lip hard. I arched my back and scratched at Jane's shoulders. Jane's fingers worked hard inside of me. She pumped in and out of me with controlled, well timed, aggressive thrust. I met each thrust willingly as I rode her to heaven.

"I _missed _you baby! That feels so _good, _you feel _so good_ Janie!" I moaned in Jane's ear.

"You like that," Jane whispered to me. "You want more?"

I let out a low, guttural moan. I rode her hard. My legs quivered with the effort to keep my balance with my mounting pleasure.

"YES! Yes Janie I _love _it...I _love _you!" I cried.

Jane pulled my hips down and bit my ear lobe. I scratched at her back. She pushed her fingers deep inside of me and curled them over my g-spot so fast my mind went blank and fire surged through my core.

"Oh my **GOD**!" I screamed.

I fought against Jane's attempts to hold me still. I started riding her again with a frenzy unknown to me. My body knew what it needed to do to compliment Jane's fingers driving me toward bliss. Jane's fingers worked harder than ever thrusting faster and faster in and out of my most sacred place. My thighs were soaking, my screams desperate and gasping. Jane tried to kiss my breasts but I was riding her to hard and too fast for her to get land any productive kisses. She just gave up and bit my hard pink nipple holding it between her teeth and flicking her tongue over it in a blur. My head flew back, I pushed my hips into Jane's fingers as hard as I could. She touched that place deep inside of me that opened the heavens and made me see God!

"_Don't _stop baby..._don't _stop...don't _stop..._DON'T _stop_...**DON'T **STOP!" I screamed.

I didn't see it coming but Jane stood, turned me around, and bent me over the dining room table in a matter of seconds. She ripped my skirt up to my waist and pushed my hips down onto the table. I cried out in surprise. Jane grabbed the back of my head by my hair and pushed her fingers deep inside of me again.

"Oh GOD _**Janie**!_" I cried.

I scratched at the smooth polish of the table but could find no traction. Jane pushed another finger inside of me and I was singing to the heavens. She held me by my hair as she started working inside me again. The gravity of my pleasure was overwhelming. Jane spread my legs with her knees and pushed into me with the power of her hips behind every thrust. Jane's fingers were a blur inside of me. I screamed and cried in ecstasy and pain. I wailed desperately higher and higher every time Jane pushed into me and touched the spot inside my body that made my eyes roll. Jane leaned over and bit my shoulder as she drove into me. She ravaged me. I cried for her. Glory, hunger, lust, power, everything oozed out of me. My hips bounced up and down meeting Jane's every thrust.

"You're such a _dirty _little girl Maura," Jane whispered in my ear.

I soaked her hand again. It was coming. The moment, the bliss, the joy, the sun, the moon, the stars...it was coming. I closed my eyes tightly. I scratched at the table, my body writhed and squirmed, my hips bounced and swayed, my legs trembled, my insides spread and opened, lights flashed behind my eyes. Jane knew my moment was near. Jane pushed my head down against the cold table holding me as still as she could. I could barely hear her cries and low growls of pleasure as she drove me. There were screams in my head...I think they were my screams. I felt tears pouring from my eyes. My lips trembled. I was powerless to move but I didn't want too. I let Jane have me. I let her push me, open me, punish me, love me, worship me. The heat inside me was threatening to swallow me alive. A light as bright as the sun shone behind my eye lids. My breath was so heavy my head was swimming and my lungs burned.

"_Come _on baby..." Jane whispered to me.

"_Cum _for me,"

"_Fuck _me Janie!" I cried in a high, shrill, desperate voice.

It was as if my words set Jane's very soul on fire. She did not hesitate to oblige my request. She drove into me so hard she lifted my hips from the table with each thrust. I shrieked and cried, I begged and pleaded, I burned and ached. I felt _so good_. Waves of pleasure engulfed my entire body. Everything began to tingle and burn. It was coming, everything was coming. I was so close..._so _close.

"Harder Janie...HARDER..._faster _Janie...FASTER..THAT'S it..._right _there...right _there_..RIGHT THERE...OH my GOD...OH my GOD...OOOOooo OH **GOD**!" I screamed.

Jane drove into my like a woman possessed. My hips bounced so hard I couldn't tell if it was Jane making that happen or if I'd just lost complete control of my body. With one final thrust deep inside me I fell over the edge. I came so hard I was seeing stars. I screamed things in three different languages that didn't even make sense. My eyes rolled in my head. My body quivered and convulsed. I cried hard between deep ragged breaths. I lay writhing on the table whimpering and crying. Jane lay on top of me panting for breath. I could feel her shaking slightly. I absorbed her heat. She kissed my neck many times whispering how beautiful I was and how much she loved me. I was flying. I was dancing. I was singing. I was everything.

Jane picked me up and turned me around. She sat me on the table and stood between my legs holding me tightly. I just lay my head on her shoulder. I didn't have the energy or muscle control to wrap my arms around her body. I exhaled and gasped and sputtered on Jane's shoulder. Her skin was slick with sweat. Her breath was heavy and the muscles in her arms trembled with the work they had done; but I knew I heard Jane giggling. I found the energy to look up at her and smiled.

Jane grinned down at me and kissed me deeply. We giggled and laughed and teased each other playfully. Jane played with my nipples and I pinched hers. She nipped at my lips and I bit her neck. She kissed my breasts and I ran my knee between her legs. Jane squirmed when I did that. I didn't miss the moan that escaped her mouth. I didn't miss the way her breath hitched or her abdominal muscles trembled.

I hoped Consuela and James stayed gone for hours because there were many more things I wanted to do with Jane. A week was too long to be absent her touch. I vowed right then to never again torture my mind or body or Jane with such a cruel wait. I'd waited long enough to meet someone that could move me the way Jane did. I didn't know such pleasure was possible. My orgasms with Jane were God like. They were fire and rain; burning my soul and drenching my mind, heart, and body with ecstasy. We kissed and cuddled for long minutes atop the kitchen table. I wrapped my legs around Jane's body and she caressed my thighs and tickled my sides playfully. I wrapped my hands in her silky curls and savored every sweet word and gentle kiss. I loved her _so _much; I'd missed her _so _much. She was everything.

When we had calmed down a bit she pulled me to my feet. I stood on weak legs trembling slightly from my pleasure. She brushed my damp hair from my sweaty face. I felt shy in the moment. I'd said such dirty things to Jane. I'd given myself to her on my kitchen table. I'd never done _anything _like that before! I'd let her have me in a way I'd only heard about in distasteful conversations I'd never cared to join. Now I knew. I new so many things I always thought were beneath me. There was nothing wrong with what we had done, it was heaven. Still such pleasure was foreign to me. I blushed and lowered my eyes but Jane caught my chin with her fingers and brought my face up to hers and kissed me sweetly. I fell into the kiss. She let me run my fingers through her hair and fell into my passion. I felt weak and light headed in the kiss. Her soft tongue danced with mine compounding my desire for her exponentially. My legs trembled and my sex throbbed..._again_. I was _still _hungry for her. Would it never end; would my lust for Jane ever cool? How could it? She was so beautiful, and masculine, and feminine, and powerful, and vulnerable. She was everything!

Jane wrapped her arms around my waist and pinched my butt. I squealed and giggled against her lips. Jane smiled devilishly as she gazed at me through hazy lustful eyes.

"Go to the bedroom. Take off your skirt but leave on your heels. Bring back Albert's gift." Jane said softly.

It wasn't a harsh command but her words carried the weight of the world. She knew I still wanted her. She knew I would do exactly as she asked. She was exploring her power. She was flexing her sexual muscle. She was testing my limits. She was driving my hunger and teasing me. I didn't argue with her. I didn't say anything besides, '_yes ma'am'_.

Jane watched me walk away. I smiled to myself. I thought of the way I'd just been conquered. My skin blushed. My slick sopping thighs slid against each other and my imagination ran wild with possibilities. Jane had a spell over me...but I had one over her too. Jane might have conquered me...but I could do the same with her. I let my hips sway more than necessary as I walked. I knew Jane was watching me. I knew she wanted me again. I knew her desire and her lust were building with each step I took. When I got to the edge of the kitchen I turned around. Jane was staring right at me. Her eyes were wide and hungry. She was thinking of all the things she wanted to do to me and all the ways she knew I would let her have me. I smiled at her, a wicked knowing grin. I ran my fingers down my body slowly. I circled my nipples and they hardened instantly.

Jane's eyes were on fire. She sat again in the chair and watched me. I bit my lip and smiled. I slipped my hand down my skirt and teased my clit. I gasped and closed my eyes. My chest heaved and my back arched. My fingers were instantly wet. I opened my eyes and found Jane's. She was staring at me with her mouth open and a dazed glassy look in her eyes. I felt so sexy standing there teasing Jane as she had teased me. I pulled my hand from my skirt and unzipped it shaking my hips and letting it fall to the floor. Jane gasped as she took in my naked body. She stood and reached for me but I stepped back.

"Sit _down_ and _don't_ move," I said in a voice thick with lust and command.

Jane stopped short, took two steps back, and sat squirming in the chair.

"Yes ma'am," she whispered.

I ran my eyes over her body seductively.

"You better be naked when I get back," I said dangerously, arching my eye brow at her.

Jane's body trembled and her eyes burned.

"Yes ma'am," she whimpered.

I walked back to her, leaned over her chair, and kissed her softly. Jane sighed against my lips and cupped my breasts in her soft hands. I opened my mouth for her and let her kiss me as passionately as she liked. I closed my eyes and felt the heat rise in my body..._again. _There were so many things I wanted to do to Jane. I stood and smiled at Jane's pouting lips. I winked at her and walked to the bedroom. When I returned Jane was indeed naked and sitting on the couch in the living room with a pillow covering her most private parts. Her expression was nervous but her jaw fell open and her eyes went wide when she saw Albert's present adorning my body. I had done as she asked. I was wearing my heels and I brought her Albert's gift...but I wasn't finished giving. It was my turn. Jane's eyes followed me until I was standing right in front of her. She looked at the toy nervously then back up at my eyes. I smiled at her lovingly. I ran my fingers through hair and brushed her lips with my thumb.

"Are you ready?" I whispered.

Jane smiled up at me. She had the prettiest smile. I sat on the couch and pulled Jane onto my lap so she was straddling me. She kissed me sweetly. I whispered encouraging words in her ear and as I spread her legs wider. I wrapped my hands around her slender hips and felt Jane tremble above me. Her eyes looked nervous but excited. Her hair fell over my face like a black veil. I kissed up and down Jane's body feeling all the parts of her I loved so much. I loved the way her nipples hardened in my mouth. I loved the way her raspy voice moaned in my ear. I loved the way she bit my lip when I ran my fingers through her slit. I loved how wet she was. I loved the way she begged me to touch her. I loved the way she told me she was mine. I loved the way she said I love you. I loved the way she trembled and cried out when I flicked my fingers over her clit.

Jane fondled my breasts and smiled down at me. My nipples were rocks in her talented hands. She circled my nipples with her thumbs and gave me her most teasing grin. She knew what she was doing to me. She saw the way my eyes burned. She heard the way my breath caught. She felt my hips move in rhythm with hers pushing gently into her body. Jane knew what to do to please me. She knew what to do to drive me wild. She knew she was going to let me have her...but she would have fun teasing me in the process. Jane's grin awoke something inside so me. Something primal. Something dark. Something dirty. Something ravenous. I loved Jane more than anything; but in the moment my urges were to take her...have her...drive her...push her to the brink of her sanity and her ecstasy for my pleasure.

I ran the head of my toy through Jane's slit. She shuddered and her legs trembled. The gasp that escaped her mouth was soft but yearning. I smiled into the kiss I planted on her soft lips. She opened her mouth for me and kissed me hungrily.

"I've never had you like this before," I whispered up at her.

Jane smiled and blushed.

"I'm not afraid. This is the first time I've ever let someone inside me that I truly loved. I want this...I _want _you." Jane said softly.

Her eyes were beautiful and sincere as she gazed lovingly at me. I kissed her neck and steadied her hips. I pushed her my toy inside of her with a gentle thrust of my hips. I didn't want to hurt her; but I could deny my crushing desire to be inside of her. Jane cried out and grabbed my shoulders for support. She arched her back and smiled encouragingly at me. She was so sexy like that. I felt so powerful. In this moment Jane was all woman. Feminine vulnerability poured out of her. She was mine in that moment. I was her God. I was inside of her. She was giving herself to me willingly. She was letting me touch her most Godlike space. She cried my name in a high, whimpering, pleading voice. I held Jane's hips as I started pushing into her slowly, deeper and deeper. Jane responded to me immediately. She swirled her hips slowly meeting my thrust. She quickened the pace and spread her legs wider. She grasped the back of the couch and rode me faster. I quickened the thrust of my hips to meet her demands. Jane threw back her head and said so many dirty things that set my soul on fire.

"_Maura_...you're so _good..._you're so fucking _good_!" she moaned in a husky high pitched voice. "It's so _deep_...it's so _deep_ inside me Maura!"

I was wild with desire. Jane's body was beautiful. Her veins popped beneath her skin and her toned muscles quivered and throbbed. Jane arched her back and rode me hard. I held her hips and thrust myself inside of her loving the way she cried and screamed my name. Jane was so wet the toy was already covered with a shiny sheen of Jane's juices. This only encouraged me. I pulled Jane's body into mine and let her ride me the way she wanted. Her skin was slick beneath my arms. Her hips circled and swirled in my lap. She held me so tightly as she rode me it was almost painful. I took her breast in my mouth and sucked gently. Jane gasped and hugged me tighter as she rode me to her pleasure.

"Oh Maura...you're so fucking good baby...fuck me...just like that fuck me!" Jane wailed and pleaded.

Her husky deep voice drove me crazy. I slid down on the couch, spread my legs, planted my heels, held Jane's hips, and fucked her as hard as I could. Jane screamed and cried in a broken desperate voice. She grabbed a handful of my hair and held it tightly at the back of my head. I let out a primal growl and quickened my pace inside of her. Jane's smiled at me as she rode me like a champion. Her smile was a challenge. She was teasing me to unleash myself on her. Her skin was slick with sweat, my thighs and hers were trembling and wet. I pinched Jane's nipple and she gasped and shuddered in ecstasy and pain. She whispered dirty words and challenges in my ear. I loved the way her body bounced on top of me. I loved the way she soaked the toy over and over with her juices. I loved the way she screamed my name. I loved everything about her.

I was just about to lay her on the couch when Consuela burst through the front door pushing Angela's stroller. Jane flew off of me in the blink of an eye and disappeared up the stairs. I heard the bedroom door slam. I was so frustrated I wanted to cry. I pulled a pillow over the toy and wrapped myself in the Afghan on the back of the couch.

Consuela wheeled Angela into the living room and stopped short when she saw me. I blushed. Consuela rolled her eyes.

"AGAIN! I been gone _two hours_ and still you _sexing_...on COUCH!" She ranted at me.

I giggled nervously.

"Sorry," was all I managed to say.

Consuela pulled Angela's sleeping body from the stroller and held her close.

"Baby not need see this!" she spat at me.

"She's _sleeping_," I protested.

Consuela only rolled her eyes.

"There is delivery man outside that say he have motorcycle for you." Consuela informed me.

"Oh NO!" I wailed.

I was in a panic. The motor cycle was supposed to be delivered to the precinct _tomorrow_; not to my house _today_! What was I going to tell Jane? I ran up the stairs ripping off the toy and bursting into the bedroom. I snatched clothes from my drawers and dressed quickly.

"Maura...there's a man outside with a motorcycle. Did you buy a _motorcycle_?" she asked curiously as she looked out the window and down at the delivery man.

"I...ummm...yes...it's not for me...well it is sort of for me...and for you...it's for undercover...well it's for your family's case...oh GOD I have to get down there." I wailed, buttoning my blouse as fast as I could.

In my desperation I'd said to much. Jane didn't need to know anything about the motorcycle or undercover work involving her family's case. My head was spinning. I was sweating but more from nerves than the crazy sex I'd just been having. I had to get down stairs and have that delivery guy strung up for his mistake. His mistake could expose my intentions of undercover work to Jane and that would be a disaster. I raged in my head. This was awful. Jane wasn't supposed to know the bike even existed.

"What is going on? You aren't making any _sense_!" Jane said narrowing her eyes at me.

She was dressed again in jeans and a t shirt.

"Don't worry about it sweetheart...I've got it under control!" I said trying to run out the door.

Jane caught me by the arm and spun me around. She held me firmly in her grasp by my shoulders. She studied me through narrow eyes.

"You look _hysterical_. What's going _on_? And don't you _dare _lie to me!" she asked in a low dangerous voice, her eyes were on fire...and not in a good way!


	22. Spy Games Pt 1

**A/N: Ok so this is part one of a two chapter series. The two chapters were originally one long long chapter but with the help of my beta (shout out mrj726) we decided to break it down so it was easier to read. I'll be releasing the next chapter later tonight or earlier tomorrow morning...or afternoon...or evening! Either way be on the lookout! It's going to get crazy so I hope you like the drama and suspense. And with all that being said...here we go!**

**Rizzoli & Plan**

**Jane**

Maura absolutely refused to tell me exactly why she bought the motorcycle. Actually, she let some information slip that only made me more worried and paranoid. I pushed harder for the truth but Maura got so worked up she broke out into hives _again_ like she did during the inspection. She was so stressed out under my barrage of questions I thought she might have another panic attack.

I would have pushed for more information but Consuela busted into our bedroom when she heard Maura wailing and crying. Consuela smacked me with a book and dragged Maura out of the room calling me 'evil devil' and 'mezquino?' the entire way down the hall. I wanted to tell Consuela to go away and mind her own business; but seeing Maura in her arms so vulnerable and upset I just couldn't decide whether to push her any harder right now. I actually hung my head in shame and felt remorseful for driving Maura to tears. But I refused to just let it go. I had to figure out what was going on. Somewhere way deep down inside me was still a rusty cop gut and my gut was telling me something was amiss.

I was frightened to death that Maura was getting herself into something perilous that she was not qualified to handle, and it had something to do with my family's case. I started to run after Maura and perhaps try a different approach to get information out of her; but James came home before I got the chance. He rushed through the front door and bounded up the stairs huffing and puffing, excited to show off the DNA sample he collected off my potential nephew; even though the foster givers didn't give him express permission to do so. James bristled with pride until he saw what was going on in the house; then his face fell and he looked like he wanted to be anywhere else in the world. I grabbed him by the collar and dragged him into the spare bedroom he was using as his room for the duration of his stay.

James sat on the edge of the bed with his shoulders slumped and a decidedly dejected look on his face. He was watching me pace around the room. His eyes were nervous and he shook his head side to side. He loosened his tie and removed his jacket as I ranted and raved about the motorcycle and Maura's lame explanation as to why she purchased it.

"Don't you think that's _crazy_?" I asked him finally.

James just rolled his eyes.

"You haven't asked me anything about your nephew yet!" He said unhappily.

I was struck with guilt. I'd been so wrapped up in myself and what was going on with Maura I hadn't even bothered to inquire about James' trip to the foster farm.

"Yes of course James I'm sorry; how did that go?" I asked kindly.

I sat next to him on the bed and gave him my full attention. Even though it was his job to find my nephew; I was still grateful for his hard work and dedication. I _did_ want to know all about my nephew. I'd come back to Maura's insanity later.

"I'll be honest with you, Jane…I've seen worse but I've seen better too!" He said honestly.

"What do you mean?" I asked carefully.

I grew more and more nervous by his response. I prayed my nephew was in good health and not being abused. The very idea of my nephew being mistreated stirred something inside me; a darkness better left to fester in the pits of my being rather than being exposed to the light. If I were to find my brother's only son was being misused in some way I'd bring fire and rain down upon those responsible.

"Be honest James…is he ok…did he look healthy?" I asked with wide eyes and a set jaw.

James shrugged his shoulders.

"Well, he doesn't look like he's being abused. If anything he's being over worked. He's the youngest of nine boys there and he shares a bedroom with three of the other boys. When I got there he was shoveling out a barn stall and he's only six. It was a little weird but he's a bright kid. He talked about horses and Batman the entire time." James chuckled.

I smiled. Tommy used to love Batman when he was a kid too; actually he loved Batman even after he grew into a man.

"He's a bit on the skinny side, but there were no marks or bruises on his body which is good. The foster caregivers wouldn't give me permission to take his DNA; but I did what Maura said and gave him a juice box that I took with me after he drank it all. To tell you the truth, I think those foster parents don't want to lose free labor and the check the government gives them for caring for him. But they aren't bright people and they don't have an attorney. I'll kill them in court and get a subpoena to have his DNA taken legally if Maura's results come back that he is, in fact, your nephew." James said confidently.

"Does he look like me?" I asked.

James smiled. He produced his phone from his wallet.

"I got a picture here if you want to see?" James said proudly.

My heart soared.

"Of course I want to see…show me!" I said excitedly.

James pulled up the picture on his phone and my jaw dropped. On the screen was a picture of a smiling little boy with a wicked grin, bright brown eyes, and tousled black hair. My hands began to shake. My heart fluttered. Tears rolled down my cheek. I'd seen that boy before. He looked like Tommy…_exactly_ like Tommy did at that age! I choked on a sob and pulled the phone from James' hand and held it in my own staring down at the boy I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt was my brother's child. He was beautiful. I couldn't believe it. I had a nephew. A Rizzoli to carry on into the future! I ran my thumb over the boy's face on the screen and smiled as the tears continued to roll down my cheeks. I knew a Rizzoli when I saw one; and this boy was a Rizzoli beyond a shadow of a doubt.

"He's a handsome devil if I've ever seen one." James chuckled.

I laughed.

"This is him…this is my nephew!" I whispered.

I couldn't tear my eyes away from the screen and the smiling boy. I wanted to hold him. I wanted to hug him. I wanted to wrap him in my arms and never let him go. I wanted to fly to that farm and carry him home. I wanted to tell him what a great man his father was and all about his Uncle and his Grandmother. I wanted the best for my nephew. I wanted to save him from the darkness and show him the meaning of love and family like Maura did for me. My nephew deserved the best of everything.

I was suddenly reminded of Maura and my heart sank again. Had it not been for Maura I would still be swamped in my own darkness. Had it not been for Maura I still would have nothing and no place to call home. Now my life was full of hope and possibility and the light in Maura's eyes every time she looked at me made me melt inside. I knew in my spirit that Maura would always be there and always protect me and I would do the same for her. I also knew my nephew had no concept of such devotion. He'd been abandoned in his infancy and knew nothing of unconditional love. I wiped the tears from my eyes. This boy was my brother's son, my family's only living hier. I sent the picture to my email account from James' phone and gave it back to him.

"I want custody of my nephew as soon as possible. But we have to do something about Maura first." I said in a determined voice.

I stood and started pacing the room again. Seeing my nephew made me more resolute than ever to keep Maura whole and alive! I could not and would not allow Maura to fall into the darkness of my family's past. I would keep her in the light if I had to hold her by the neck to do it. I squared my shoulders and clenched my fists. I knew Maura was tough, stubborn, protective, spirited, determined, and that this was going to be a battle of wills but I would not fail! James sighed and shook his head.

"You know I have kids too," James said forlornly. "It's their summer break and I barely get to see them because I'm always doing something for Maura; or for _you _lately!" James eyed me unhappily.

I felt empathy. I understood the meaning of the importance of family.

"James, bring your family out here while you're working! The more the merrier! But in the meantime, we have _got_ to figure out what's happening with Maura!" I insisted.

"What is it that you think is going on, Jane?" He asked in a flustered tone.

I rounded on him.

"I know something is up with her James…I just _know_ it!" I growled at him.

James threw up his arms.

"Something like _what!_" he yelled.

"Something dangerous I think! Something she shouldn't be getting herself involved in. Something crazy I dunno; you saw the bike and you saw the hives! Don't you think that's _odd?_" I asked him incredulously.

James shrugged his shoulders but nodded his head in agreement.

"Maura is kind of weird _most_ of the time actually. I'm sure there's a logical explanation for the motorcycle,"

I couldn't disagree with his logic. Maura _was _somewhat awkward on a good day; I'd learned to accept a certain amount of eccentricity from her. Even so the motorcycle was over the top and her disjointed explanation and subsequent eruption into a hive ridden mess was less than satisfactory. That feeling in my gut that Maura was in over her head was raging all the more.

"Yes but she's never been _this _weird…not '_buy a motorcycle and not tell me why'_ kind of weird!" I frowned.

"Maybe she's having a midlife crisis and wants to try something new," James chuckled.

I looked at him like he was crazy.

"She's too young to have a midlife crisis, _James!_ And anyway what the hell does Maura know about motorcycles? I've never heard her so much as mention motorcycles before today!" I raved.

"Well then why don't you just ask her about it_, Jane?"_James asked wearily.

"I already told you I DID! She started having a panic attack and broke into _hives_ like she did at the inspection! She let slip something about undercover work and my family's case when I asked her about the motorcycle; and then she started _freaking out!_

I closed my eyes tightly and gritted my teeth. I took a deep breath and steadied myself.

"I _know _Maura, James. She's afraid to tell me what the bike is for because she knows I won't approve of what she's planning!" I raged in a hushed whisper.

"How could you _possibly _know that? You just said she doesn't talk about the case…she _can't _talk about the case because it's against the law!" James insisted.

"Yes I know that James; she told me all about the legal ins and outs! But Maura's become a woman _obsessed _with this case! We need to investigate what she's doing. No matter what I say or do she just won't let it go. She thinks I'm broken and solving the case will magically fix me. I think she'd do anything to get justice for my family, including doing something stupid like getting herself killed!"

I was frantic just thinking about it. James' eyes went wide and his brow furrowed.

"What the hell do you mean by that?" He asked curiously.

"Exactly what I said…Maura would do anything to solve this case! Including putting herself in dangerous situations if she thought it would help! She doesn't have to spell it out for me; the bike, her weird behavior, the hives...she's planning something dangerous I _know_ it!"

James sighed and shook his head. He looked like he wanted to crawl back against the pillows, go to sleep, and pretend this was all a dream. So did I for that matter; but there was no time for sleep.

"Maybe if I solved the case myself!" I said thinking out loud. "Maybe if I figure out who they're investigating I can get whatever evidence they need so Maura doesn't have to do anything crazy and get herself killed!"

James looked incredulous.

"You're not a _cop_ Jane! You can't tamper in an open investigation you'll go to jail! _**You've lost your mind**_**!**" He exploded at me

"_Keep your voice down_!" I hissed at him. "Maura could hear you she's just down the hall! And for your information I have police training. I graduated top of my class at the New York Police Academy. I won't get caught. I'll just help the case along!" I insisted.

James was staring at me with his jaw open and a disbelieving look on his face. Finally he beat his forehead with his fist and grumbled under his breath.

"Why are all women so _crazy_?" He wailed.

I stamped my foot in frustration.

"We _have t_o figure out what's going on, James!" I insisted.

He rolled his eyes and loosened his tie more.

"There's that _we _again…you and this '_we_' you keep saying are freaking me out!" He frowned.

"I need you to back me up. I need you to see what I see so you can help me convince her she's lost her mind. I can tell her all the practical reasons she's crazy and you can tell her all the legal reasons she's crazy. Besides you know all her hiding places and stomping grounds. We have to work together on this or it won't work." I insisted.

"And how are _'we'_ supposed to do that, Jane? What work are you talking about?" he asked in a hollow, defeated voice.

I paced around thinking hard.

"We follow her around and see what she's really planning with the bike. We need more information!" I said wringing my hands together nervously.

I heard James grumble under his breath.

"You're talking about spying…on _Maura_…spying on her while she's doing her _job!_ You do realize that's _insane!_" He stated bluntly.

"Don't you want your employer to stay alive so she can keep paying you? It doesn't do us any good if Maura is dead or hurt."

James shook his head.

"You'll be just fine if Maura dies; you're very well taken care of you just don't know it." James smirked; then his eyes lowered and he looked ashamed like he wasn't supposed to say that for some reason.

I didn't know what he meant nor did I care. I just glared at him.

"What's that supposed to mean? Never mind…I don't even want to know. I need Maura alive, healthy, and home with me where she belongs, James. Maura is my family; she's my daughter's Maddy! She's everything to me! It will** kill** me if something happens to her and it was my fault," I said rubbing my temples and blinking back tears.

"What's going to happen to her and how could it possibly be your fault?" He asked concernedly.

"I don't _know_ what's going to happen to her; _that's what we have to find out!"_ I cried.

"She's only doing whatever she's doing because of me! We only came back to Boston so she could work this case…_for me!_ The motorcycle, the case, her weird behavior, the secretiveness, the hives, they're all connected and it scares me, James. I won't let her do it…I won't let her get herself in trouble for me!" I said in a voice that brokered no argument.

James studied me with an odd expression on his face.

"You really love her don't you?" He asked curiously.

I looked at him with heavy, teary eyes.

"More than you'll ever know," I whispered.

James sighed and closed his eyes. He gritted his teeth and shook his head. He looked weary.

"An argument could be made that you're a crazy stalker girlfriend."

I found myself laughing.

"I wouldn't deny it if that argument _was_ made. I'll be whatever I have to be to save my girlfriend. I will stalk the_ shit_ out of Maura if it keeps her ass alive!"

James looked at me like he wanted to cry.

"And what happens if we_ do_ discover that she's doing something dangerous? What then? How are we supposed to tell her to stop without letting on that we've been spying on her while she worked an open police case?"

My mind raced.

"I…I don't know; I haven't gotten that far yet. I haven't even thought about it!"

"You haven't thought about a great many things!" James sighed.

"We'll figure it out. But I have to know the truth, James! I have to know sooner than later if Maura's getting into trouble before it's too late!" I pleaded with him.

James studied me for many long moments; then his shoulders sagged. He resigned himself to the fact that I would not give up. I would do this with or without him.

"We can't get caught doing this, Jane. You have no_ idea_ how _**angry**_ Maura would be if she were to find out we were spying on her while she was working. You _have_ seen her when she gets angry." James said.

"You have no idea how angry _**I'll**_ be if something happens to Maura! You've never seen me angry; I'll make Maura's temper look like a breath of fresh air!" I said flopping down in an armchair and sighing heavily.

"How are we even going to go about this?" James asked.

I thought for a few moments. "I have a plan." I said confidently.

...

**The Next Day**…

"Remind me why we're crammed up in this old rented beater when we could be sitting in your nice, brand new Escalade?" James grumbled in the passenger seat of the rental car.

I huffed behind the binoculars I was holding up to my eyes.

"Because James, we're _spying_ remember? Maura would recognize my Escalade. This way we can sneak around and not be noticed." I reminded him as patiently as I could.

"Yes and remind me why we're spying on the _POLICE_ again? Who the hell spies on the police?" James continued to whine.

He adjusted the crotch on his pants awkwardly. I rolled my eyes and continued looking through the binoculars.

"You _know _why we're spying…and we're spying on Maura more than we are spying on the police." I said "And what the fuck is going _on_ down in your _pants_?"

James grumbled and squirmed in his seat.

"It's hot in here! I'm sweating like a farm animal and my nuts are sticking together!" He complained.

I rolled my eyes again. I was seriously reconsidering why I thought it was a good idea to bring James along on this undertaking. The man was more irritable than Consuela when she was complaining about me, Angela, and Franklin Thomas put together. James chose to wear a three piece suit even though I told him it was a bad idea. I had the sense to wear jeans and a tank top. But far be it for James to dress down; even if we were just going to be sitting in a car all damn day following Maura around.

"I _told_ you to wear something more comfortable; and stop playing with your testicles, it's disgusting and_ weird_!" I scolded him.

"Can't we just get out of here? They're not doing anything but talking?" James moped.

I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth. James was wearing out my patience.

"James," I said in a painfully strained voice "Do you think you can sit still and be quite for the next five minutes? You're like a toddler on a long road trip! Just relax and _calm the fuck down_!"

James scrunched up his eyebrows in a frown.

"Fine, but if I die of heat stroke it's your fault!" he spat at me.

"You ain't gonna die you big baby now _sit still!"_ I hissed at him.

I returned my attention to my binoculars and trained them toward the precinct's parking garage. I could just make out Maura with Detective Korsak and a younger black man in a nice suit that must be Detective Frost. They were all standing around the motorcycle that Maura bought yesterday. It was Sunday afternoon and James and I had been at this venture since early this morning.

I felt a bit guilty about tailing my girlfriend and spying on her; but I didn't feel like I had any other choice.

"Can't you turn on the AC or something? It's so _hot_ in here!" James complained

"If we turn on the car it will draw attention to us. The windows are rolled down and that will have to suffice for now." I argued impatiently with him.

"But my nuts…"

"…Damn it James! Just unzip your fly and we will get you an icepack for your sweaty balls later; but for now will you _please_ just calm down, be quiet, and let me **concentrate**!" I pleaded with him wearily.

James turned red in embarrassment and opened his pants. He started breathing giant gusts of breath at his crotch until I looked at him in horrified disbelief. James grumbled and pouted and leaned his car seat all the way back. He crossed his arms and sat quietly…finally.

I went back to studying Maura across the street.

"Those three have been talking about the bike for half an hour. I _knew _Maura was lying this morning; she said she was coming here to test my nephew's DNA!" I pouted.

"I don't think she was lying; not outright at least. You know Maura can't lie outright on account of the hives. She was probably testing the DNA while she was inside the building all those hours…while you made me roast out here in the heat might I add!" James said with a voice laced with contempt.

I ignored him. I was busy watching the goings on in the garage.

"Hmmm! That's interesting. Why is the old detective putting on that leather jacket? It's the middle of the summer! He's going to sweat to death in that thing." I said confused by what I was seeing.

James at up and pulled the binoculars from my hand and started studying the scene for himself.

"That _is_ interesting," He said.

"I know right? Who wears leather when it's 90 degrees outside?"

"No! Not that! I'm talking about the patches on the jacket. They're motorcycle gang patches," James explained.

I snatched the binoculars out of his hands again.

"The one that says 'nomad'?" I asked.

"Yeah. It's an old motorcycle club term for a man who's not affiliated with any particular club but he used to be. It means you're a lone rider. And that jacket is serious stuff. It looks really expensive and it's made for hardcore riders. Wonder why that old detective has one? He doesn't look like he's much into motorcycles. Oh shit! Maura's got one too!" James exclaimed.

I watched Detective Frost hand Maura an identical jacket as the one Detective Korsak was wearing only it was ladies cut. I frowned when Maura put on the jacket.

"Her patch says 'Property of Bo'!" I said confused by what I was seeing.

James took the binoculars back and studied Maura himself. He started chuckling.

"Maura's kinda sexy in that jacket," he said in a voice laced with implications that grated my nerves.

I gritted my teeth.

"Get it together, James! What does Maura's patch mean mister motorcycle gang expert!" I hissed at him.

James stopped chuckling but kept smiling.

"It seems to me like Maura is that detective's old lady." James said.

"What the hell is that? Maura's not old!" I exclaimed.

James rolled his eyes and looked at me.

"The term 'Old Lady' is used to describe the wife or girlfriend of a male motorcycle club member. To them women are properties. They aren't very advanced in their thinking. My wife would cut off my nuts if I ever referred to her as my property,"

I grew furious with disbelief.

"If you talk about your nuts one more time I'm going to kick you in them! And what is going on with the patches and the jackets? Maura isn't anyone's property! Not even _mine!_ Why is she wearing that jacket?" I raged.

James looked nervous all of a sudden.

"Relax Jane it's not real! They're just playing dress up! If I had to guess I'd say they were planning on going undercover in a motorcycle club or something like that! It makes sense considering the bike and the jackets with the patches."

Dread flooded through me. So my worst fears were true. Ice formed in my stomach and my heart ached with terror. Motorcycle gangs were dangerous; very dangerous. And Maura wanted to play dress up and get involved in one or more for my family's case. I didn't know what the hell a motorcycle gang had to do with my family's case; but I _did _know I wasn't about to let Maura get wrapped up in one just to solve it. I steeled my nerves and grabbed at the door handle of the car.

"FUCK THAT!" I spat angrily trying to get out.

James wrapped his long arms around me and held me tightly.

"NO! Jane…you can't get out! You CAN'T!" He said struggling with my body.

I writhed and squirmed, flailed my arms, and cursed at him furiously to let me go.

"JAMES! Stop…let me _go_! I'm _not _going to let this happen! I won't do it James…she's my girlfriend! I'm not going to stand by and let her put herself in danger!" I raged.

"If you go up to her and demand she stop doing what she's doing in front of her coworkers you'll humiliate her and you're not supposed to know what she's doing anyway! We still don't know exactly what's going on. We need to know more…calm _down_ Jane…we need to know _more!_" James insisted.

"James she's my _girlfriend!_" I said hysterically.

"And she's like a sister to me!" He screamed.

"I don't want this to happen any more than you do but we have to be rational! We can't embarrass her at work. We need more information. Then we make a move when we have all the facts. Calm down Jane…I'm not the enemy!" James pleaded with me desperately.

I stopped thrashing around mostly from exhaustion. We were both covered in sweat and panting heavily. I leaned my head against the steering wheel and tried to calm my breath. I bit my lip to steady my nerves. I clutched my heart and tried not the to let the tears that burned my eyes fall. I was so afraid for Maura. What had she gotten herself into? How could she think this was ok? Why didn't she know this was the last thing I'd _ever _want her to do? My heart continued to ache as my mind imagined thoughts of a life without Maura. The thought was just as horrible as a life without my daughter. James released me from his grasp and sat back in his seat.

"I'm on your side Jane. We're in this together." He said softly.

I smiled at him through teary eyes.

"What are we going to do?" I wailed.

"We have to keep following her until we know for sure she's planning on going undercover in a motorcycle gang. Then we come up with a plan to see that it doesn't happen."

I looked back toward the garage where Maura was with the detectives. I narrowed my eyes at Detective Korsak. This had to be his idea. Maura wouldn't come up with this craziness alone.

"I want to punch that old raisin detective in his fucking face!"

My jaw was clenched so tightly a searing pain shot through my neck.

"If you did you'd go to jail for assaulting an officer of the law. Even I couldn't get you out of that one!"

I rolled my eyes.

"I know this shit was his idea! He's got Maura dressed up in a jacket that says she's his property! God knows what kind of places he's going to be dragging her around! I fucking HATE that guy!"

My eye lid twitched in my fury.

"You gotta relax! Cooler heads prevail remember? Calm down, you can't get so worked up! Besides you're driving and I don't want to die!" James said nervously eyeing me.

I must have looked as angry as I felt. I tried to calm myself but when I looked back toward the precinct's parking garage my heart dropped.

"Shit, _get __**down**_!" I blurted out in a panicked voice.


	23. Spy Games Pt 2

**A/N: I promised you this update quickly and here you go! It's going to get wild from here...well wilder...the whole story has been pretty wild already right? LOL! Hope you enjoy roller coaster rides because that's what this story is about to become. Ideas are welcome. Shout out to my beta Mrj726; you freaking rock girl! And with all that being said...here we go!**

**The Plan. Part Two.**

**Jane**

_"SHIT, get **down**_!" I exclaimed.

James' eyes followed my gaze and noticed Maura approaching her car with Detective Korsak in tow and we both ducked down at the same time. I had parked three cars behind Maura's Mercedes. Maura was already inside the building when James and I arrived this morning but now she wasn't more than fifty feet away from us. My heart raced. Adrenaline surged through me. James was wide-eyed and looked frantic. He had a tall, large body but he managed to stuff himself into a ball between the dashboard and his seat. It was almost comical.

I chanced a glimpse over the steering wheel. Maura was standing right by the driver's side door of her Mercedes dialing a number on her cell phone and Detective Korsak was smoking a cigarette next to the passenger side door. Dread filled my heart. One false move and we would surely be caught. I ducked back down and wished they would just get in the car and drive away so we could follow them. I put a finger over my lips to signal to James to be quiet. He nodded his head in understanding and curled his body into an even tighter ball. His face was pale and sweaty and his normally perfect black hair was wild and unkempt making him look even more hysterical. I figured I didn't look much better, I could feel my heart straining in my chest and my hands shaking from the adrenaline poisoning my system. Why did I have to park so close to Maura's car? I started to peek over the steering wheel again when my cell phone rang.

**"SHIT**!" I swore in a hushed whisper.

James looked at me in a furious panic.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" he hissed at me.

"Why is your cell phone ringer so LOUD? Are you _deaf_ or something? They're going to hear us! I can't believe this! You're supposed to turn your phone to vibrate when you're spying on people miss '_I graduated at the top of my class at the Police Academy_!' You're the worst detective EVER!" James fumed through clenched teeth.

"Just help me find the fucking phone will ya!" I whispered as I tore through the front of the car trying to find my phone.

James cursed again and started to help me look. We scrambled through the car so wildly we bumped heads several times swearing and spitting insults at each other in clipped whispers. I finally found the phone between the seat and the center console. I snatched it up and answered it before I even stopped to see who was calling.

"HELLO…HELLO!" I said in a hushed whisper breathless from searching the car.

My voice sounded as panicked as I felt.

"Jane?" Maura's voice sounded curiously on the line.

So much adrenaline ran through me I thought I was going to pass out or throw up.

"M-Maura?" I squeaked.

I wanted to kick myself for sounding so freaked out but I couldn't help it. I tried desperately to calm my voice and steady my nerves. It was hard to do since I was crammed between the seat and the dashboard randomly bumping my head against the steering wheel. James looked like he wanted to spontaneously combust. I heard him squeak too when I said Maura's name on the phone. Between the two of us we were pouring enough sweat to float the Titanic.

"Honey is everything ok? You sound strange." Maura asked me.

Maura's own voice sounded nervous and concerned. I swore in my head and bit my knuckle to hold in my panic. Of course Maura could pick up on my hysteria. I took several deep breaths as I worked out what lie to tell in my mind.

"Yeah…I'm good. James and I are just…working!" I said honestly.

It wasn't a lie. We _were_ technically working. I just left out a few specific details. It wasn't like Maura was any stranger to doing that herself.

"Ok love. I'm going to be home later to take you to dinner. I know James' family will be here tomorrow and I want to have some alone time with you before the house is over-run with company. I have some very exciting news to tell you and I don't want you to be mad at me anymore," Maura said sweetly.

My heart melted and guilt gripped me. Even now, when she was planning on risking her life to solve my family's case, Maura was still worried about me being angry with her because of yesterday's fight. Her selfless love overwhelmed me. My heart beat for her. I wanted to hold her and hug her and tell her I loved her no matter what. I wanted to beg her not to go on with the crazy undercover work, I wanted to make love to her and keep her safe in my arms. I wanted so many things; but I didn't want what was happening in that moment.

"I'm not mad at you at all, Maura. I love you and I'm so sorry about the way I acted yesterday. I just want you to be safe and come home to me," I sighed.

"You're such a sweetheart, Jane. I love you too and I'll be home later. Wear something pretty and I'll take you anywhere you want to go!" Maura sounded excited.

I couldn't stop myself from smiling when I imagined the way her eyes must be sparkling and her lips grinning. I wished her lips were against mine and the smell of her shampoo was filling my nose instead of the scents of James' aftershave and the musty smell of the old rental car. I peeked my head over the steering wheel and grinned when I caught a glimpse of Maura's beautiful smile before she slid into her car. She was wearing a pretty white sun dress I bought for her, with the bank card she gave me, and a pair of heels I think she realized were my favorite. Heat rose in my body but it had nothing to do with the outside temperature. I'd keep Maura alive if for no other reason than to see her walk in those heels. I bit my lip and ducked back down in the car. James still looked frightened to death. I patted the top of his head to reassure him there was no reason to vomit all over the seat the way he appeared to want to do.

"Where are you going right now?" I asked

I heard Maura sigh softly. She sounded tired and if I didn't know better a bit guilty also.

"I have some errands for work. I'll try to be home before seven." She said.

I felt my face fall and my shoulders sag. What kind of errands was she talking about? Where was she going with that old detective? I grew worried all over again.

"Please be careful, Maura." I blurted out before I could stop myself.

"I will honey," Maura assured me confidently.

I heard her car engine start.

"I'll see you later sweetheart, I have to go. I love you little princess!" she said sweetly.

I blushed and grinned.

"I love you more little angel!" I gushed.

"Kisses," she said, and the line went dead.

"Little Princess and Little Angel," James chuckled. "That's so precious!"

I flashed a scowl at him.

"Should we follow her?" I asked.

James nodded his head.

"Stay three cars behind her at all times. Don't get directly behind her at a stop sign or stop light." James said as we pulled ourselves up into our seats and buckled our seat belts.

"James I'm trained to be a cop remember? It's been a long while but I got this!" I said somewhat despondently.

"Fine detective! Just waiting on you."

...

**Maura**

"You look really happy Doc!" Detective Korsak said from the passenger seat.

I smiled to myself. I could feel the detective studying me. I didn't want to be overly transparent but I always felt happy when I talked to Jane. Well, usually. I'd left home this morning feeling a bit lost and dejected after our disagreement yesterday afternoon when the bike was delivered accidentally to the house. I'd spent all day so far worried that Jane's anger would continue as she had every right to be frustrated with me. I even snuck out of the house before she awakened this morning leaving her with a kiss on her sleeping forehead and a whisper of love in her ear. But Jane sounded sincere when she said she loved me on the phone and I couldn't stop my spirit from soaring and my heart from feeling consumed with love.

I tried to push thoughts of Jane and baby Angela from my mind and concentrate on the case; but it was hard to not think of them. I'd never had family before; not the way Jane and Angela and even Consuela were my family. My house in Boston was, for the first time, a home. When I walked through the front door this evening I knew I'd step over dog toys and stuffed animals until Jane flew into my arms and kissed me like she missed me. If I was lucky she would notice I was wearing her favorite heels and the dress she bought me. If I was extremely lucky perhaps she'd left me finish what was interrupted yesterday afternoon. I was already tired from running the DNA test this morning and conferencing with Frost and Korsak over our plans to proceed with our undercover investigation; but I had energy enough for Jane. Even if Jane had no interested in making love again tonight I knew Angela would be waiting for me with a soggy diaper and a happy smile squealing to be picked up and coddled the way I loved to do with her. No matter how much Jane and I fought I knew when I lay my head on my pillow tonight that the pillow next to mine would hold the head of the love of my life and it made me feel, for the first time, complete.

Knowing all these things to be true made what Detective Korsak and I were planning all the easier and all the worse. I wanted to solve this case and bring my love the peace and justice she and her family deserved. I didn't mind putting myself in danger to give her what she had dreamed of for five long years. But at the same time knowing that if I were to die, heaven forbid, I'd be leaving behind a woman more broken than she was when I met her. That thought disturbed me to no end. I sighed and gripped my steering wheel tightly willing myself to concentrate on what I was doing. I would not leave Jane alone to mourn me. I already set up a trust for her and Angela in the event that something did happen to me and as soon as we gained custody of Jane's nephew I'd set one up for him also. This was unbeknownst to Jane of course being as the woman always grew so grumpy when I tried to give her money. Still, money was cold comfort in the face of great loss and Jane had lost enough already.

"I know that look on your face…it's love! You're in love!" Detective Korsak smiled.

I blushed.

"I am," I said simply.

The detective chuckled.

"It's a good look on you. I'm happy for you! You've changed so much since you met her…everyone at the station talks about you and your sexy girlfriend."

I was floored.

"What…really?" I said nervously.

I didn't like to be whispered about behind my back. It reminded me of my past when I felt I was a lesser woman and not strong enough to take care of myself.

"Don't worry Maura. It's good talk. Love is good! But you have to focus on the case too. You can't think about her when you're working. It's a distraction. It clouds the mind and your judgment." Detective Korsak pointed out.

I sighed. I knew what he was saying to be true, but it did not lessen the blow to my pride. I'd always considered myself to be upstanding and above reproach in my work. For the longest time work was all I had. But now I had a family to support and a woman to love and to say they weren't constantly in the back of my mind even when I was swamped in work would be a lie. The pressure of great responsibility was a heavy burdon; but my family was worth it. I was reminded of that every time Jane smiled at me or Angela giggled in my arms and patted my cheeks excitedly as she bounced in my lap. Even now as I drove with the detective I smiled as I thought of them.

"I won't get distracted," I firmly stated.

Detective Korsak studied me for a while. I grew nervous under his studious gaze.

"Are you afraid?" He asked me bluntly.

"Yes," I said without even thinking about it.

It was true; I was very afraid. I'd be a fool if I wasn't.

"Does she know what we're doing?" He asked.

I paused to consider his question.

"Are you asking if I told her about the undercover work?"

"Yes."

I considered my response carefully.

"I let a few things slip that I shouldn't have; but I went into no specific details. I don't want her to worry," I said honestly.

"Do you think that's wise? Leaving her in the dark that is?"

I chanced a glance at Detective Korsak's face briefly before turning back to the road. He seemed genuinely interested in my response. I'd never been so open with a coworker before; but Detective Korsak and I had developed a kinship since I'd returned to Boston that made me feel comfortable with him. I liked that I could be open and honest with him and he wouldn't judge me and was always discreet. He was like the father I never had but always wanted and I'd come to consider his counsel when he offered it to me. I decided to test the newly developed relationship between me and him and be equally blunt.

"When you were married did you tell your wives about your undercover work?" I asked him.

"Yes. I didn't tell them all the details, but I told them when I was undercover on a case. I thought they deserved to know incase something happened to me. I found my wives to be much more patient and understanding with me when they knew I was working a heavy case undercover. This kind of work gets dark and the danger is taxing. They deserve to know they're the light in your life. A good woman will do everything she can to make sure her light shines extra bright when you come home safely every night." He counseled me.

I nodded my head as I considered his words but still I was unsatisfied.

"The last time we spoke of Jane you said it was a good idea_ not_ to tell her I was investigating the case," I pointed out.

Detective Korsak nodded his head.

"I did say that and then she found out anyway and didn't look happy about it! She doesn't seem like a stupid woman either. Like I said these cases can get dark and you'll bring home some of that darkness whether you want to or not. She'll put two and two together eventually, or she'll be miserable and think your darkness is because of her. It's best if you're upfront about it before she kills herself trying to find out exactly what's going on. Women are craft little things; they have ways of discovering secrets especially if it concerns someone they love. If Jane loves you like I think she does she'll get to the bottom of what's going on and she'll be angry with you for not telling her upfront; especially since the work is potentially dangerous!"

I didn't like to think of Jane worrying over me. I wanted to think I could keep my work separate from my home life and not bring the darkness into Jane and Angela's lives. But maybe the detective was right. Jane_ wasn't_ a stupid woman and after last nights fight I knew she was still curious about the bike; even if she hadn't mentioned it so far today. How far would Jane go to discover the truth? I only kept this a secret from her to protect her; would she understand that? I hoped pushing Jane to work with James and take custody of her nephew would be distraction enough; but detective Korsack was right. Jane was not stupid and I had no doubt she could accomplish anything if properly motivated; including finding out about my undercover work. The thought made me nervous. There were things about this case that Jane did not need to know for her own good! She was my responsibility and it was my opinion that I was doing the best thing for her by keeping some things confident.

"It's different with Jane. I'm working her_ family's_ case. I want to give her peace; but there are certain details she should never know. I read parts of the file you gave me…is everything in that file true Detective Korsak?"

My heart ached just thinking about what I'd read. The detective sighed and nodded his head.

"An old buddy of mine I used to work with in Vice gave me the file. I've been asking around my contacts in other departments for information that might help us and he told me some things."

I bit my lip nervously. The information in that file haunted me. I could only imagine what the truth would do to Jane.

"So Jane's brother really _was _involved with the Road Dogs undercover?" I asked sadly.

"Yeah, but only after he turned himself in for all the shit he'd done for them."

"So it's possible that he was killed to silence him and Jane's family was just collateral damage?"

I blinked back tears as I spoke. The truth was almost too much to bare. Jane lost her entire family simply because her brother got involved with very bad men.

Detective Korsak nodded his head again. I held in my tears with great effort. How could I ever_, ever_ tell Jane something like that? Knowing that would absolutely devastate her. Sometimes ignorance _was _bliss. Jane's heart was my responsibility; I had to care for it and protect it from harsh truths that would kill her. Jane idolized her entire family; she spoke of her brothers as if they walked on water. It wasn't my place to shatter her image of Tommy. I'd let her have her happy memories because they were the only things that brought her peace.

"He wasn't a bad guy, the brother, Tommy. He was trying to do the right thing in the end, but somebody gave him up as an informant. No one knows who. The brass at the time wouldn't let homicide push our investigation because it would interfere with the undercover investigation Vice had going on inside the Road Dog gang. There was a Vice officer undercover with the gang at the same time Tommy was an informant. Tommy didn't even know he was a cop. The brass thought the undercover officer could bring down the whole gang for illegal arms dealing, drug smuggling, and a dozen other murders _and _the Rizzoli case. But the guy got killed under suspicious circumstances just like Tommy. After that the gang closed ranks. Nobody has gotten close to them since. It really pisses me off that the brass just went quiet on the whole thing!" Detective Korsak said angrily.

"You think the gang killed the undercover officer too?" I asked growing more and more nervous.

"The guy was found in a hotel room with a needle in his arm. The medical examiner at the time called it a heroin overdose; but I knew that guy. I didn't know him personally; but I knew he wasn't a junkie. He had five times more than enough drugs in his system to kill him. A lot of officers were furious about it. I remember when it happened, but I had no idea it was tied to the Rizzoli case at the time. Everyone was screaming for justice, but the FBI and ATF got involved. They didn't get anywhere with the case either; everything just went cold and they closed up shop and left. The brass doesn't want to get involved with the Road Dogs again. The gang has been quiet anyway for years. I swear if we can break this case it will bring a lot of families justice for the murders and missing persons associated with that club."

"I'm determined to do everything I can," I said softly.

I didn't want to reveal how anxious and afraid I was. I had a feeling the detective knew my thoughts anyway. I felt him studying me again.

"It could get really scary, Doc," He said bluntly.

I nodded my head.

"I know. But science has come a long way in the five years since the case opened. We just have to find the guy with the jacket. I just need his DNA or a fingerprint then we can blow the whole case wide open. I can get a finger print off almost anything. And I don't have to have a cheek swab to get DNA. I can get if from his hairbrush, his toothbrush, his fingernail clippers, his sweat, his spit, his urine, and so many other things. If I can connect the one man in the gang to the Rizzolli case then we can blow down the doors to the whole gang. The DA can claim RICO against the club, subpoena them all for fingerprints and DNA samples and bring them up on charges for conspiracy to commit murder. I'm sure something will turn up for them in the DNA and fingerprint data bases. We can send the whole gang to prison if we just find the one man with the jacket. I'm confident in my abilities and I'm confident in yours," I said with as much vigor and certainty as I could muster.

"We're going to make a hell of a team doc," Korsak chuckled.

I smiled.

"Tell me more about this…Gentleman's Club," I said.

Detective Korsak smirked.

"It's a strip club doc; just call it a strip club. The old detective friend of mine in Vice gave me the name of an informant that works as a bouncer at the club. The informant says one of the Road Dog gang members owns the club and the guys hang out there a lot. I figure it's a good place to start. But the place is a dive I'm told. It's not like any place you've ever been I'm sure. Don't expect any pleases and thank yous from the people in there. You won't find any upstanding citizens or pillars of society on that side of town. I'm just warning you!"

I pondered for a while.

"I've never been to a strip club before! That's ok; I won't run into anyone I know there!" I said innocently.

"I love strip clubs," Detective Korsak cracked.

I looked at him in bewilderment for a moment.

"You frequent those types of establishments?" I asked curiously.

"Well not this particular one; but it's a great way to blow off steam." He replied simply.

"Oh!" Was all I said.

"You're a lesbian! I can't believe you've never been to a strip club before…you like tits don't ya?"

I blushed.

"Yes detective…I enjoy a woman's body! But I prefer my women to be a little more…modest!" I said sincerely.

"I bet that woman of yours puts on quite a show!" The detective laughed heartily.

I looked angrily at him. I knew Jane had been a stripper at one point in her life. I didn't like to be reminded of that or for people to insinuate something like that was even possible. I knew my anger was over the top but the detective had struck a nerve. He stopped smiling immediately when he saw my furious face and started stuttering and stumbling over his words.

"I mean privately…for you…behind closed doors…she puts on a good show for _you;_ that's all I'm saying," Detective Korsak said nervously.

I rolled my eyes and focused on the road again. I tried to hide the smirk on my face. I felt my anger fade away. Thoughts of yesterday on the kitchen table and the couch flashed through my mind. I thought of the smell of Jane's hair in my face and the way she whispered dirty things in my ear when I was inside of her. I felt my face flush.

"Jane is all I need," I said softly.

Detective Korsak smiled.

"I bet she is; you're a lucky woman, Maura," He complimented me.

I nodded my head.

"Yes I am," I grinned to myself.

"So there's a little shop not too far from here where we can get some biker clothes before we head over to the strip club. It's way too early for any of the Road Dogs to be there; but I figure we could swing by, flash our jackets, tell our story, see what kind of looks we get and if anyone approaches us. You never know we might get lucky. Either way we need to get our faces out there. You remember the story don't you?" He asked.

I sighed. I wasn't fond of the story; but it was necessary to play the parts we needed to be trusted inside the gang's circle.

"I remember. My name is Diamond; just Diamond no last name. Your name is Bo. I'm your 'Old Lady," I said the last words distastefully.

I thought I saw Detective Korsak trying not to grin next to me.

"We are nomads and have been for several years. We wander around town to town never staying in one place long. We were once in a gang in California but our club was raided by the feds and we went on the run after half our members were thrown into prison. You committed some crimes a while back and that's why we have to keep running. We never say exactly what you did. You work construction and odd jobs for cash under the table. I used to be a stripper before I met you but you made me stop when I became your old lady. Our bike broke down a few days ago and we're in town waiting on a part to be delivered and that's why we're out at the clubs looking for a good time. I refer to all men as sir or boss; even though I think that's disgusting!" I said with a grimace.

Detective Korsak chuckled.

"You don't have to like it, but that's the way it is in those gangs and we gotta play the part. You've got the story down and that's good. You aren't anything like Diamond and I'll never forget it."

I sighed.

"I have to believe I'm Diamond while we're undercover. I have to believe the story or it won't work. I have an issue with lying. But this is more like misdirection or acting so I should be ok. As long as I'm not discovered for who I really am, or have to answer direct questions about certain things our story should hold."

"Don't worry so much. Let me do most of the talking. Women are seen and not heard in these gangs anyway. A woman that talks too much would draw unnecessary attention. Stick to me and I'll keep you safe. The hardest thing for you will be turning down that brain of yours. Diamond isn't a genius and you have to remember that. You can't go running off on tangents about smart people stuff the way you do. You need to play dumb and talk stupid and for the love of God don't correct anyone's grammar! You might see some things that disturb you; these guys and even the girls get in fights all the time. If someone comes up with a busted face or broken bones you ain't no doctor and you can't help them. You can't even call 911, let someone else do it if it comes to that! Remember, these people aren't bright and you can't be either or it will look too suspicious," Detective Korsak warned.

"I'll do my best," I said nervously.

"You just keep your sharp eyes open and your ears to the floor. We find the guy with the jacket, get what we need, and get the hell away from those people. If we're lucky this will all be over in a week,"

"If the guy with the jacket is still around," I added.

"My informant says he's seen a guy with the jacket when I showed him a picture of it. But he said it's been a few months since he's seen him and he didn't get a look at his face which doesn't help us much. But it's better than nothing. At least we know he's been in town recently."

I perked up.

"I'd like to speak to this informant when we get to the club. I might be able to jog his memory."

"Not going to happen. I won't even point him out to you if he's working. We don't know anyone in town remember; and you can't be seen chatting it up with local men. Maura, old ladies don't talk to other men and we could blow his cover and ours if we speak to him. Maybe I can set something up between the three of us later; but not at the club!" Detective Korsak said firmly.

"I understand," I said sadly.

"If you make this left turn the motorcycle shop is on the right."

"Actually, do you think we can go somewhere further outside of town? I looked up a place on the internet that will have what we need that's far enough away that I won't run into anyone I know. I don't want my girlfriend to know exactly what I'm doing yet. I'll tell her in my own time but I want her to hear it from me and no one else." I said honestly.

"Suit yourself," Detective Korsak said offhandedly.

"Thank you," I was relieved.

I couldn't imagine the look on Jane's face if she saw me dressed up like a motorcycle skank. I shuddered just thinking about it.

**...**

**Jane**

"I think we should go in there," I said to James as I slumped in the driver's seat looking at the creepy little motorcycle shop Maura and the old detective entered moments before.

I couldn't believe Maura had driven all the way to this part of town just to visit this horrible little shop. This part of town was awful. It was way outside the inner city and no place would I ever expect Maura to know about or visit. There were housing projects and liquor stores everywhere. Bums and vagrants peppered the sidewalks and corners. I swear I'd seen three drug deals in plain sight on the way over here and the streets looked like they hadn't seen a street sweeper or an asphalt truck in years. Men with unwashed clothes and women with unwashed bodies wandered around drinking from bottles in brown paper bags. Children ran around unchecked and unmonitored by any adults. Filthy dogs and cats were everywhere eating from trash cans or begging for scraps of food. The shop Maura went inside was little better than a run down shack. There were iron bars on the windows and the doors and the widow display was the strangest thing I'd ever seen.

It wasn't much of a display actually. It was a random collection of leather clothing and accessories; leather vests, jackets, skirts, belts, gloves, masks, even whips. I shuddered to think of what type of people would want to wear any of those things…especially the masks…what was that all about? And why were Maura and that Detective in there? I looked over at James. He was huddled in his seat with a frantic look in his eyes clutching a small Taser he produced from his pocket. James seemed more than terrified and out of place in this neighborhood. He'd locked the doors and pulled out his Taser as soon as we exited the highway into this part of town and kept insisting we turn around before we got robbed.

"James…let's go in there!" I repeated, nudging him with my elbow.

He crouched lower in his seat.

"We can't go in _there_! Are you _insane_? There are bums and thugs _everywhere!_ Let's just get the hell out of here!" He insisted.

I rolled my eyes. I was used to neighborhoods like this. It looked just like the area in New York where my old apartment was. I was no stranger to the lesser lifestyles; but James was acting like he'd never seen anything like this before in his life except maybe on TV.

"Don't you want to know what she's doing in there? _I_ do! We drove forty-five minutes to get out here so we might as well see what's going on!" I exclaimed.

"I'm not getting out of the car!" James spat at me.

I gritted my teeth.

"Maura's in there James, she could be in trouble!" I hissed at him.

James frowned.

"She's _fine_! She's with a_ cop_ and he's got a _gun_! I'm wearing a three thousand dollar suit; this watch is a Rolex! You're wearing expensive stuff too; why are you so eager to get killed or worse ROBBED?" James said wide-eyed and frantic.

I sighed.

"I'm starting to be concerned with your priorities." I grumbled.

"This place looks like Rapeville USA! I'm staying right here!" James blustered.

I grew furious with him. I started smacking him with the driver's manual of the car.

"_You- ain't- gonna- get -raped_ -you big _baby_! And what's with the Taser! That little thing ain't gonna stop anybody from robbing us if it comes to that! Why don't you have a gun?" I spat angrily at him between blows.

James flinched and whined in his seat trying to protect himself from my assault.

"I don't own a gun! I don't believe in violence!" He whimpered.

I rolled my eyes and kept hitting him.

"**I DO!"** I raged.

"I see that; you're very mean!" James complained.

"Will you stop being such a sissy! Man up and act normal!" I barked at him.

James reluctantly sat up but he continued to clutch his little Taser and looked around outside with horrified eyes. I sighed and threw the manual in the back seat.

"We can't go in that store!" James insisted.

I looked at the weird little shop again.

"You're right. That place is really small. They might see us." I said.

James looked relieved that I agreed with him.

"I'm going to search Maura's car; I've got the spare key!" I said excitedly as I pulled Maura's key from my pants pocket.

James looked twice as horrified now.

"You can't go sneaking around her _car_! It's a brand new Mercedes; it's probably going to get stolen in the next sixty seconds in this hell hole. You should stay in _this_ car where it's safe!" James pleaded.

I banged my fists against the steering wheel.

"I need you to buck the fuck up,_James!_ We're spying remember! Spying takes guts…stop being a big BABY! Just stay in the car and keep a lookout. I won't be long. If you see them come out the store call my cell phone and I'll book it back here before they see me!"

"You're really going over there?"

"YES James I'm really going over there! Keep a lookout! And put that Taser down before you shock yourself with it you giant wussy pants!" I hissed as I opened the car door and got out.

Maura's car was parked in a tiny little lot on the side of the little motorcycle clothing shop. We were parked across the street in clear view of the little lot and the front door of the shop. I ran across the road quickly and headed straight for Maura's car. I had no idea how much time I had but I knew I had to move swiftly. I passed three bums that all asked me for change but I ignored them all. I clicked the button on the car key chain to unlock the car and slid into the driver's seat closing the door behind me. I smiled when I smelled Maura's perfume. It made my head dizzy with images of her beauty; but I quickly shook them aside. I had investigating to do.

I tore through the car looking for anything that might be a clue as to why Maura and that Detective were at this shop and what their plans might be. I found something promising in the glove box. It was a business card. '_Jiggle Hut Gentleman's Club'_ it read. I frowned. Maura wasn't a strip club kind of person so I knew it must have something to do with the case. What the hell did a strip club have to do with my family's case? I noted the address and put the card back in the glove box.

I was just about to exit the car when I noticed a file folder sitting on the back seat. I grabbed the folder. It was labeled 'Rizzoli'. My heart skipped a beat. I thumbed through the folder. My mind raced with everything I saw in there. There were medical examiner's reports. Pictures of motorcycle jackets that looked suspiciously like the ones Maura and Korsak were wearing earlier. There was a great deal of information about a motorcycle gang called the Road Dogs. I read through some of the information with wide eyes and a clenched jaw. Whoever this gang was they sounded extremely dangerous. They were linked to all sorts of crimes;heroin distribution, illegal gambling, illegal firearms, prostitution, even sex slave trade. I frowned and shook my head disbelievingly. Why was all this information in a file folder with my family's name on it? Who the hell were the Road Dogs?

I kept reading. The Road Dogs were linked to over a dozen unsolved murders and at least half as many missing person cases where the victims were suspected of having been murdered and disposed of by the Road Dogs. There was even a bit about a cop who died under suspicious circumstances while working undercover in the Road Dog gang. The more I read the more dread I felt. I couldn't tear my eyes away from the words on the pages. There were just so many pages about the gang and all the horrible things they were suspected of being involved in. What was Maura planning on doing? Did she dare go undercover and infiltrate this horrible gang? Why would she do that when she knew how dangerous they were? I kept flipping through the pages. My heart skipped a beat when my eyes landed on a name I knew all to well. Tommy Rizzoli was listed as an informant for the BPD working to bring down the Road Dogs. I felt like I was going to vomit. Not my brother. He couldn't have been involved with these people. I just couldn't believe it.

I turned to the next page and my heart stopped completely. It was a statement written by an officer over five years ago detailing Tommy's involvement with the Road Dog gang.

"_On December 11, 2007 Tommy Fredrico Rizzoli turned himself in to the BPD for crimes he committed. Mr. Rizzoli stated that he'd committed crimes for the Road Dog gang in order to pay off a gambling debt he had accumulated with them. Mr. Rizzoli stated that the debt was over forty thousand dollars and he'd received threats against his life and his family's lives if he didn't pay the money back. Mr. Rizzoli stated that he agreed to assist the club in committing various crimes in order to fulfill his debt obligations. Mr. Rizzoli admitted to committing robberies, scams, money laundering, and petty theft at the behest of the road dog gang. Mr. Rizzoli stated that on December 8, 2007, while committing a home robbery with several members of the Road Dog gang the owner of the home returned and was shot dead when she entered the house. The home owner was 27 year old Felicia Parks, an ex-girlfriend of one of the Road Dog gang members. Mr. Rizzoli stated that he wanted to turn himself in to get away from the gang and his guilty conscience. The gang member suspected of committing the murder fled the city before an arrest could be made. Mr. Rizzoli was given a deal by the DA that in exchange for his cooperation with the police department in bringing down the Road Dog gang all charges against him would be dropped. Mr. Rizzoli agreed to the terms and began work undercover inside the gang to aid vice in their investigation. It is believed that while working with the BPD Mr. Rizzoli's intentions against the gang were discovered and…"_

**RING RING RING **

"**SHIT**!" I swore loudly.

I jumped so hard the file flew out of my hands and the papers scattered everywhere. I cursed repeatedly. I'd been in the car way too long. I couldn't believe I'd allowed myself to get distracted but I just couldn't stop reading. My heart was racing. Adrenaline was coursing through my veins. I looked at my caller ID. It was James. I swore again. I looked out the passenger's side window and saw Maura and the old detective off in the distance dressed in motorcycle gear approaching the car. My heart stopped in my chest.

"**SHIT**!" I swore again.

I started gathering up the scattered papers and stuffed them in the folder. Some pieces had slipped between the seats and in my haste to retrieve them I tore several pages in half. I wanted to cry. The adrenaline in my system was making me feel sick. Dread and fear overcame me. My hands shook and my palms were sweaty. Maura was getting closer. I ducked down in the car and opened the door sliding out backwards. I tried to put the file back in the back seat but it slipped from my shaky hand again and papers fell all over the ground. I was so terrified and desperate tears were rolling down my face. I started snatching up the papers again when a voice next to me made me jump so hard I hit my head painfully on the door frame.

"Miss, do you think you could spare some change?" A shoddily dressed bum asked behind me.

"GO AWAY!" I hissed at him.

I couldn't have someone talking to me right now. The bum could very easily give away my position and he was drawing way too much attention to the car. I threw the file in the back seat and closed the door as gently as I could. I stayed crouched beside the car. I couldn't stand or Maura would see me. I was panicking like I never had before in my entire life. I was going to get caught I just knew it. What would Maura say when she found out what I'd been doing? She would know I looked through the file which was illegal. She would be so embarrassed. What would she do to James? How angry would she be? Would I be arrested? Would Maura break up with me? I felt shame, fear, extreme sadness and and alarming terror over what I read in the file. I looked up at the bum with pleading eyes. He was watching me with interest.

"This ain't your car is it?" He asked curiously.

I closed my eyes and tried really hard to steady my breathing. I had to figure out how to get away. I knew Maura had to be close. My cell phone rang again but I silenced it immediately. I knew it was James. I knew he must be pissing his pants in the car.

"Hey buddy Boston Police!Get away from that car!" Detective Korsak's voice sounded so close I knew he could only be maybe ten feet away. The only thing keeping him from seeing me was the car.

I looked up at the bum. He had his hands raised in surrender. He looked shocked and scared. Was Detective Korsak holding a gun to him? I cringed. I pulled out my wallet and grabbed five one hundred dollars bills from the bill fold. The bum's eyes looked down at me inquisitively. I showed him the money and tucked it into his shoe. I put my finger in front of my lips to signal to him to be quiet about me. He nodded his head once and raised his eyes back to the detective. I scrambled away on my hands and knees and just managed to get around the car parked two spaces from Maura's when Detective Korsak's voice sounded so close I knew I had just missed being caught by him.

"Who were you talking to? What are you doing beside this car?" Detective Korsak demanded of the bum.

The detective's voice was strong and powerful. I could tell he was not playing games. I trembled in fear. I tasted bile in my mouth. My fate and future rested in the hands of a bum. If he turned on me the jig was up. I wiped tears from my eyes and prayed to a God I wasn't sure was there to have mercy on me.

"There was somebody trying to break in here sir; I scared 'em off though!" The bum said.

My heart was racing so fast I thought it would burst my chest wide open. I covered my mouth to suppress my choked sobs. I was only two cars away and I was too terrified to move. I huddled next to the car on my hands and knees willing myself not to fall apart.

"Oh my goodness!; I need to get into the car…"

I heard Maura's sweet but terrified voice.

"..Maura go back inside!" Detective Korsak demanded of her.

"But there is a file inside of a sensitive nature I have to make sure…"

"…Maura go inside until I come get you!" Detective Korsak commanded.

I heard Maura whimper and then her footsteps running in the opposite direction.

"The doors are unlocked and the alarm didn't go off! How did that happen?" Detective Korsak authoritatively thundered at the bum.

A vile sick feeling settled in my stomach. I didn't think to lock the door. How could I have been so stupid?

"I don't know sir. I don't know nothing 'bout no cars sir; but I know them kids been breaking into cars all summer sir. The one breaking into this car was young, maybe sixteen, black, baggy jeans and a red shirt. He run off that way sir. You can catch 'em if ya hurry!" The bum said.

"You're sure!" Detective Korsak asked.

"I'd put money on it sir," The bum said.

I heard the detective's footsteps disappearing in the opposite direction. I breathed a sigh of relief. I quickly crawled out behind the car and ran across the street as fast as I could. James was already buckled into the driver's seat with the car running when I slid into the passenger's seat frantic and breathless.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" James screamed.

He looked like he didn't know whether to be furious or terrified.

"Just drive," I said between gasping breaths.

Tears streamed down my face as James and I sped away.


	24. All that she wants pt 1

**A/N: So...let me just say...this isn't a trajedy. NO ONE IS GOING TO DIE! I promised a happy ending and I will deliver. I also said it was going to be a wild ride and I will deliver on that too. This is part one of a chapter I had to split up into two parts cause it was way too long. The crazy whirlwind is coming but don't freak out...it will work out in the end. I hope you guys are still interested in the story. My beta and I work extremely hard on delivering the best chapters we can. Shout out mrj726! Reviews are love..show me some love! And with all that being said...here we go!**

**Maura**

"We aren't calling anything off! We're going to get to the bottom of this and there will be justice!" I nearly screamed at Detective Korsak.

I was so furious I was trembling from head to toe as I paced up and down the sidewalk while the detective eyed me nervously from the park bench.

"Maura we need to consider that our investigation has been compromised. It isn't safe to proceed until we look further into this incident. It would be unwise to proceed until we know exactly what happened! You're allowing your emotions to cloud your judgment; you've got to calm down and be reasonable." Korsak insisted.

I rounded on him, my eyes lit up like lightning in a midnight sky.

"Someone broke into my _car_ detective! I don't even know how that's _possible_ without a key! The alarm didn't go off, the doors weren't damaged, and the battery cables weren't cut. Besides that, who knew where we were going? NO ONE! We must have been followed. Someone at the precinct is working against us. The same someone that is responsible for the death of Tommy Rizzoli and the undercover officer and potentially many others! Now _my_ family is in danger and you're telling me to _calm_ myself! I will do no such thing until I figure out what's going on, and those Road Dogs or whomever are behind bars! No one puts my family in danger without consequences Detective Korsak, and I will do what I must to protect them. I will not rest until the people responsible are put away!" Every pore of my body was seething with anger.

The detective's eyes were wide and he looked fearful as he watched me pace in front of him. Several people walking along the sidewalk noticed me screaming and gave me a wide berth eyeing me sideways and quickening their stride. I must have looked as wild and frenetic as I felt. I was beyond furious. Detective Korsak insisted that I turn my car over to the police and have it swept for bugs and evidence which I insisted I could do myself, but for some reason the detective didn't seem to think I was capable of gathering evidence in my condition. We took a cab to the park as Korsak believed this was the only place we could speak and not be overheard by curious, possibly even corrupt, ears. We were dressed again in our professional clothes, but since I felt like punching something I actually thought the biker gear would better fit my mood.

Detective Korsak studied me for a while sitting in silence. I mumbled to myself as I continued pacing in front of him.

"I've sent private security to watch my family until this is all over." I said through gritted teeth.

"We can put a unit outside your house!" The detective commented.

I slowly turned on him with what I knew was a look of incredulity.

"I don't trust them...I don't trust _anyone_, and neither should you by now!" I exclaimed. "It may be that someone in the police station gave us up to the gang! Don't you realize that? We have to look out for ourselves!"

"I doubt it was an officer that gave us up. I haven't spoken to anyone about this that I don't trust with my life." Korsak insisted.

I could feel my teeth grinding in my head.

"Did you call Detective Frost?" I growled at him.

Korsak nodded his head wearily.

"He'll be here any minute. I doubt it was him though...he wouldn't rat us out; he doesn't even have the contacts to make something like this happen. Besides he's too excited to be included on this case. It wasn't him." Korsak insisted.

I rolled my eyes.

"I don't trust anyone at this point. This is insane! Someone broke into my _car_ Korsak...my personal vehicle! They have my license plate number and can trace that to my address. If they'll break into my car they'll break into my home too. Our undercover operation is destroyed before it even started!" I screeched.

I narrowed my eyes and leaned in close to Detective Korsak's face.

"Let me tell you something detective... May God have mercy on the fool that followed me to the motorcycle shop and broke into my car! If war is what they want it's war they will get! I will not abide being followed or terrorized! Where the safety of my family is concerned there is nothing, absolutely _nothing_ I'm not capable of, nor hesitate to do, in order to prevent harm from coming to them!" I raged, my eyes on fire, and my voice laced with contempt.

Detective Korsak shook his head wearily.

"Doc you sound hysterical! You need to go home and check on your family!" He pleaded with me.

I glared hatefully at him.

"My girlfriend and my daughter are safe. There are two ex-marines covering my home right now. They'll call me if anything is amiss; after they put a bullet in the head of anyone trying to intrude on my family's peace!" I scoffed.

Detective Korsak looked incredulous.

"You're going off the deep end Doc. I'm worried about you. Maybe you need to step back from this case; you're too close to the victim! It's making you irrational!"

I rubbed my temples and shook my head. Detective Korsak was right; I was getting out of control in my demeanor but he was ten times a fool if he thought I was going to back away from the case. I was more determined than ever to see this through to the end. He was right that it had become personal the moment the gang _made_ it personal by breaking into my car. Still, I had to hold it together. I could tell Korsak was growing more and more disconcerted with me by the second. It took everything I had not to continue screaming, but I had to impress upon him how serious I was.

"Have you forgotten what it is to have family detective? Is it that you have no children, so you don't understand my intrinsic need to keep my daughter safe? If someone were to move against _your_ family directly when you were married would you have sat idly by waiting while someone else figures it out though you had the skill to handle it yourself?" I asked sincerely.

Detective Korsak opened and closed his jaw many times trying to find words to say. I knew he wanted to argue further but I could tell he realized there would be no dissuading me.

"I understand where you're coming from and therein lies the problem. You'll do anything to keep your family safe including something rash and potentially dangerous to yourself and me for that matter. I think you need to take Jane and the baby back to New York and let me handle this one! I'll call you when it's safe for you to come back." He insisted.

I scoffed.

"I've no problem sending Jane to New York or even out of the country if it's necessary; but I'm _not_ running and I'm _not_ hiding. I'll not be intimidated!" I stated boldly.

"Maura I just think you're..."

"...Hey guys. What's going on you sounded crazy on the phone!" Detective Frost said running up to us on the sidewalk.

I lunged at him in a fury.

"Who have you been talking too? I told you to keep this case between us...who have you told! What have you done?" I exclaimed grabbing Frost by his collar and shaking him like a ragdoll in my wrath.

Frost's eyes were wide and startled.

"What are you _talking_ about?" He wailed as he struggled to pull away from my clinging grasp on his shirt collar.

"Someone broke into my car!" I screamed at him. "They read the Rizzoli file and now they know everything. They know where I live, they followed me around! My family is in danger! Detective...are you working against us? Tell me what you've done! Tell me!" I bellowed at the young detective.

Frost looked like he wanted to cry. He struggled harder to get out of my grip but I would not be stopped. I was overwrought and frantic; motivated by the most primal instincts to do all things necessary to protect what was mine.

"Let me go! You're being crazy!" Frost ranted, struggling wildly.

Everyone around us stopped and stared at the scene I was making. I was swinging Frost around in a circle screaming maniacally in his face. I was oblivious to the onlookers; I wanted answers and I would have them if I had to choke them out of Frost. I was consumed with fury due to the terror I felt over the danger posed toward my family. Finally he pushed me hard enough to back me up several steps. I stood there shaking as tears streamed down my face. What was happening to me? Frost's face darkened and his lips trembled in fury.

"Psycho!" He hissed furiously.

I felt my own face darken and the blood ran cold in my veins.

"You have no idea how psycho I'm about to become if you don't tell me what I want to know!" I whispered in a cold trembling voice.

I felt strong arms wrap around my waist and pull me toward the park bench. I had no choice but to let myself be carried away. Detective Korsak pushed me down on the bench and held me still by my shoulder. I could feel his large strong hands enforcing his will on me. I didn't struggle, I couldn't overpower the man. But I glared at Frost none the less.

"Maura! That's enough!" Korsak's voice bellowed.

His breath was coming in great puffs and his chest heaved with the effort to control himself. Frost looked like he wanted to kick something. He cursed and spun around in circles while spitting furious words at me.

"Frost calm down! We're not doing this, not here, not now, not EVER!" Korsak thundered.

"You're telling _me_ to calm down? _She's_ the one freaking out; she almost ripped my shirt off!" Frost fumed.

"She won't do it again, will ya doc?" Korsak said looking at me threateningly.

I turned my head and pursed my lips.

"No," I said, though I was still loathsome.

"Good; now you two cut out this useless bullshit behavior and _focus_. We're partners in this and if we don't trust each other we're as good as dead do you understand?" Korsak counseled, his eyes flaming and piercing both Frost and I with an intensity neither of us cared to see.

Frost and I stopped cursing and glaring at each other. We set our jaws and looked at anything that wasn't each were high but no one wanted to die or be responsible for the death of the other. The situation was serious we all knew, and our best work and efforts would be required at all times in order to get to the bottom of it and stay alive in the process.

"Frost, we need your help. Have you told _anyone_ about our intentions to go undercover inside the Road Dogs gang?" Korsak inquired in a voice struggling to remain calm.

"I haven't said shit to _anybody_!" He exclaimed.

His brow was furrowed and his face trembled in consternation but I could tell he wasn't lying. His eyes were steady if not furious and he didn't as much as flinch when he answered Korsak's question. I sighed. I'd been extremely unfair to him and I knew it. I bowed my head and blinked back tears. I was so hysterical I was lashing out at the few people I could trust. The title of head of household carried a far greater weight than could ever be measured or calculated under such a serious threat of a family's safety. I was moved by feelings I never had before and could not control, but I wouldn't trade the title for anything in this world. I felt guilty and ashamed of my behavior toward Frost. The threat against my family was driving me mad; but I had to rise to the challenge and adapt and do it quickly before I made a grievous error I could not fix.

"Someone broke into Maura's car and went through the Rizzoli file while we were inside a motorcycle shop just outside the city. No one could have known we were going to be there. We had to be followed." Korsak explained patiently to Frost.

Frosts' face showed surprise then became pinched with the look of intense concentration as he thought hard.

"The doors were unlocked, the alarm never went off, and there was no sign of forced entry! I don't know how they got into the car." Korsak said finally releasing my shoulder.

He paced around thinking hard himself.

"It doesn't make any sense! Something doesn't add up here!" Korsak said more to himself than anyone else.

I twiddled my thumbs in my lap. I was still too ashamed of myself to offer much at the moment.

"I'm very sorry I grabbed you and spoke to you in the manner I did." I said to Frost though never raising my eyes to his.

Frost studied me for a moment.

"It's ok. I know you got a kid and everything. We'll figure this out." He said not unkindly.

I looked up at him and forced a pained smile.

"I don't know what to do, Frost. How could the gang have found out about this?" I said miserably.

Frost scratched his beard and shook his head.

"Maybe it wasn't the gang at all! They likely aren't high tech enough to program a remote to override your car's security system or pop the locks through the internal controls," Frost said pacing around.

"It's not possible to break into your car with sounding the alarm unless..." Frost paused and looked bewildered.

"Unless _what_?" I pushed him.

Frost looked uncertain of whether or not to continue his thought. He sighed and looked at me with sincere but mournful eyes.

"Unless they stole a key to your car somehow!" He said frowning.

"But there are only two keys to my car," I exclaimed.

"Well who has the other key?" Korsak demanded.

I pulled out my cell phone and dialed Jane's number. My heart pounded in my chest as I waited for her to answer. She never did, her voice mail picked up. A cold creepy feeling settled in my stomach. I shook my head and dialed the house phone number. Consuela answered on the third ring.

"Ello?" Consuela said on the line.

"Consuela, is Jane home? I need to speak with her." I asked with as much calm as I could find.

"Oh...no she not here. She go with Mr. James all day. They say they went to visit nephew. I tell her you call." Consuela informed me.

I don't know why I felt so worried. Why wouldn't Jane answer the phone? I needed to hear her voice and know she was safe. What if someone robbed her for the car key? What if she was hurt or worse dead? I felt sick with dread. Had I failed at my job already?

"Where's our baby?" I demanded.

"Oh she fine. She playing with evil diablo dog in play pen." Consuela told me.

I sighed.

"Consuela, go upstairs and look in Jane's sock drawer. There should be a spare key to my car in there. I need to know if it's there!"

Consuela sighed.

"I playing crossword puzzle!" She complained.

"Consuela you can't _spell_! Do what I ask please it's important!" I pleaded with her.

I heard Consuela curse and hiss in Spanish. I sat on the park bench feeling my heart beat in my chest faster and faster. I heard Consuela rummaging around in the drawer.

"No...I not see key! It not here." Consuela huffed.

My heart sank. Either the key had been stolen from inside my home or Jane had it and someone stole it from her. I brought a trembling hand up to my forehead and rubbed my brow. I worked hard to steady my breath and my nerves. So many thoughts were running through my head; terrible thoughts of what might have become of the key or Jane. I finally spoke as calmly as I could.

"There are two men outside watching the house. I'm going to send one of them in to stay with you until I get home. Don't ask questions just do as he says." I said firmly.

"_What_ man? Why they watching house? You in trouble?" Consuela sounded hysterical.

"Consuela just do as I ask. I'll explain later, and you call me as soon as Jane gets home!"

"If you in trouble I take baby and leave this place!" Consuela countered my demand.

I smirked to myself. I had no doubt she would do just that at the slightest provocation.

"Consuela stay put for now. I'll be home soon. Do what the man asks; his name is Gerald Ingles...ask to see his I.D. before you let him inside. Call me if you hear from Jane." I said and hung up before Consuela could argue further.

"What's going on? Who has the spare key, Maura?" Korsak demanded, his face betrayed his worry.

I'm sure my face betrayed everything I was feeling also.

"I am fairly sure Jane has the spare key. She's not answering the phone. She's clumsy with her things and forgetful. She misplaces her belongings all the time. I'm worried she misplaced the key or perhaps someone stole it from her. There is a smaller chance that someone stole it out of my house, though this is unlikely!" I said miserably.

Frost piped in.

"We can find out if someone used the spare key. You drive a brand new Mercedes. Every time a key locks or unlocks your car it's recorded in the car's navigation system. Call your company's security system and ask them for all the times over the last couple hours that a key was used to unlock your car."

I perked up. Frost was right but I could do him one better. I had an app on my phone that connected directly to my car's security system. I can't believe I hadn't thought of it before. I went through the app and my heart stopped. My security system was advanced enough to record the addresses of every place my car's engine stopped and started and the exact time a key was used to lock and unlock the doors. I found the address of the motorcycle shop on the app. My car's engine turned off at 1:52 p.m. I locked the doors at 1:53 p.m. A key was registered as having opened the doors at 2:05 p.m. That couldn't have been me. Korsak and I were in the shop over thirty minutes and I never used the key to unlock the door again because it was already open. I tasted vomit in the back of my throat.

"What is it? What's going on?" Korsak demanded impatiently.

I looked up at him with wide eyes.

"Someone has my spare key!" I said barely above a whisper.

I was so shocked and panicky I could barely breathe. Korsak and Frost looked at each other wide-eyed, and slack-jawed. I called my security team and insisted one of them sweep my home for bugs and remain inside until I got home. I dialed James' number next. Frost and Korsak were having a hurried, clipped discussion further down the sidewalk. Their backs were to me and they kept glancing over their shoulders to make sure I wasn't approaching them. I knew they were discussing me and what my lost car key could mean. I tapped my foot impatiently as I waited for James to pick up the phone. He never did. When his voice mail picked up I wanted to cry and throw my phone and dissolve into a panic, but I couldn't fall apart. I had to think clearly. I was Dr. Maura Isles...I just had to _think_!

I had an idea. I tapped into Jane's car's navigation system on my phone to see where she was. I would never check up on Jane like this normally, I trusted her and felt it was an invasion of her privacy to follow every move she made. But I'd become desperate to find her. Her safety could be in jeopardy. I frowned when I saw her car hadn't so much as moved all day long. It was still sitting in the driveway at home but Consuela said she and James left to go to the foster farm this morning. It didn't make any sense. James didn't have a car. Why would they take a taxi to the foster farm? It just didn't make sense. I dialed the house phone number again. Consuela picked up and this time she sounded extremely upset.

"Doctor," She exclaimed. "Man here say he have permission to go through everything in the house! He prying and opening drawers and sneaking around like criminal! It no make sense!"

I sighed.

"He's doing his job Consuela, leave him alone to do it!" I said impatiently.

"What he _looking_ for? He look at my _underwear_!" She hissed at me.

I rolled my eyes.

"Consuela, is Jane's car in the driveway?" I asked.

Consuela grumbled again and didn't answer for a few moments.

"Yes it here!" She huffed.

"Well how did she and James leave this morning if her car is in the driveway?" I demanded.

"I not know; maybe they take taxi. I not ask questions. Miss Jane do whatever she want anyway even if it don't make sense!"

I felt sick to my stomach again.

"Call me if you hear from her," I said and hung up again.

I dialed Jane and James' numbers again and cursed loudly when neither one of them answered. I sat staring off in the distance crippled in fear and anxiety when Frost and Korsak shuffled up to me.

"Have you spoken to her?" Korsak asked finally.

"NO!" I spat angrily.

I hated being in the dark. I hated the thoughts floating in my mind. I hated the idea that someone had stolen from my home or from Jane and that my family was in danger because of my involvement with this case. I hated thinking something could have happened to Jane or James. I hated that they were beyond my reach and weren't answering the phone. I hated not being in control. I was _always_ in control...of everything. Now I felt like I had control over nothing. Not even my personal possessions or the whereabouts of my girlfriend and my attorney. I was furious that someone had deceived me despite my best efforts to protect myself and my loved ones. What had I missed? What was I not seeing? Something was off I just _knew_ it! I bit my thumb nail as I thought hard. What was I _missing_?

Detectives Korsak and Frost stood in front of me shuffling awkwardly and seeming uncertain of something.

"WHAT?!" I demanded.

They exchanged another nervous glance. Korsak nodded his head at Frost and turned back to me. Frost looked down at me sympathetically.

"WHAT dammit?!" I shouted again.

Frost took a deep breath before speaking.

"Is it possible that Jane was the one following you guys around and broke into your car?" Frost said rushing his words as if to get them out of his mouth before he lost his nerve to speak them.

I looked at him incredulously. I started to retort in anger before I thought better of it. His words struck me like lightening. I didn't want to believe it to be true...but it _was _conceivable. I knew it was possible. All the events added up in my head and his question became more and more feasible the harder I fought to deny it. It was possible that there was a leak in the department, but wasn't it more likely the leak was in my own house? It was possible that someone had stolen from my home, but wasn't it more probable that no one had stolen from me at all? Who had more access to me than Jane? Who had more means than Jane? Who, at this point, had more motivation to tail me than Jane? I'd given Jane the spare key to my car myself. I remember the look on her face yesterday when I tried to explain the motorcycle to her. I remember how heated she became, and how hard she pushed me for answers that I tried so desperately to skirt around knowing my efforts at deflection were clumsy at best. I thought Jane would back down, I thought she would just let it go. Could her silence on the matter all day have been because she was busy finding out for herself what she wanted to know? What had she done? I didn't want to believe it.

Detectives Korsak and Frost lowered their eyes and turned their heads away giving me space to work through the implications on my own. I could feel my facial expressions move between shock, fear, rage, and finally settle on doubt.

"I don't think so?" I said finally. In my scientist's brain I thought 'Occam's Razor'…"_The explanation requiring the fewest assumptions is most likely to be correct.__" _Damn.

I shook my head. Jane wouldn't do that...right? I felt something move inside of me, a discomfort I couldn't quite place. The very idea of Jane sneaking around after me was over the top to say the least, but her snoopy behavior wasn't what was making me feel sick. It was the thought that if she _had_ been following me and broke into my car then she also read what was in that file and she knew everything. All that awful information about her brother and the Road Dogs was no longer a secret. Unspeakable terror and crippling empathy enveloped me. Where was she? What was she thinking? How tormented were her heart and soul now that she knew the truth? I just didn't want to believe it. I didn't want to think that Jane could be wallowing in misery and despair at that very moment reliving the horror of her loss over and over again.

"I would have noticed her following me, right?" I asked spoke aloud, shaking my head as if I could just shake the idea away.

Detective Korsak moved to speak.

"I told you before Jane wasn't a stupid woman. I told you before women have ways of finding things out for themselves if you aren't up front with them. My God, _you_ told _me_ Jane graduated top of her class at the NYPD police academy. I'm not saying it _was_ her that broke into the car...but it makes sense. With all her police training she would know how to follow you without being noticed. No one at the department knows what we're doing save the three of us and a few very trusted old colleagues of mine. Those colleagues do not even have the exact details of what we have planned." Korsak said fixing me with his most piercing gaze.

"It's very likely it is as I said; Jane has put two and two together and found out for herself what the intentions were with regard to the bike. Now she knows the truth about what got her family killed and all about the Road Dogs gang. If she loves you, and I know she does, she won't be happy about you going undercover. What if she keeps on like this with the snooping and what not? It's dangerous!" Korsak said with a heavy but sympathetic voice.

He knew how much his words hurt me. He knew the truth of what he spoke. Worse he knew the danger Jane posed to us _and_ herself if her interference continued.

I turned my eyes away from him. I didn't want to see the look on his face. I didn't want to believe what he was saying to be true. I didn't know how to feel. So many things were going on in my head and in my heart I couldn't quite place any specific feeling or thought.

I looked past the detectives as I swallowed the bitter pill that was the truth. Across the park was a playground. I watched the children play excitedly, running and jumping and swinging without a care in the world. I watched proud but wary parents keeping a close eye on their babies looking for any signs of trouble, wishing they could keep their children safe and innocent forever. I thought of Angela and I thought of Jane. I felt for the first time the full magnitude of my position. I wanted to keep Angela safe and innocent forever and even though Jane was not a child I also wanted the same thing for her. But Jane was a defiant creature, a survival method no doubt born out of unbearable pain; no matter how much I tried to keep her under the umbrella of my protection she refused to sit still and let me take the lead. She was a woman grown and capable of thoughts and opinions and actions outside of my control and I knew that; but it didn't lessen my desire to protect her, especially from herself. I thought I had done enough to convince her I would bring her peace. I thought Jane was confident enough in me to let me alone to do as I had promised her. Perhaps I had underestimated the love of my life. Maybe I didn't fully understand what motivated her. She had a strength I admired but her stubborn defiance was dangerous. I obviously failed at holding Jane's curiosity at bay, I needed advice and perhaps even assistance, loath as I was to admit that.

"If it _was_ Jane what do I do now?" I asked simply.

Detective Korsak nodded his head relieved that I had finally accepted the probability that my girlfriend was a nosey busy body potentially putting us all in danger if she kept going as she was. Detective Frost just looked uncomfortable.

"I can't tell you what to do. You know your girlfriend better than we do. If I _was_ her I can tell you she's panicking right now. She knows you know someone broke into the car and read that file. She probably knows about Tommy and what really happened to her family. She's fearful, distraught, agitated and worse she's furious. I'm afraid she won't stop here; she knows what we're planning with the gang. She knows _way_ too much. She's a wild card Maura; something's gotta be done about her." He said honestly.

Detective Korsak was gracious enough not to mention that if I didn't do something and Jane got in the way again the law very likely would take over and remove her from the equation entirely by placing her under arrest.

I closed my eyes again and brought my fingers to my lips as I considered his words. Detective Korsak waited patiently for me to speak. Detective Frost excused himself and walked away down the sidewalk. I folded my hands in my lap. The late evening sun was just starting to set behind the trees in the distance covering the park in the glow of pretty orange and pink colors. However, the beauty of the sunset was lost on me, my mind was consumed with worry and fear and even a great deal of fury. I asked Jane to trust me and she swore to me that she did. I asked her to believe in me and she swore to me that she did. To think that Jane had betrayed my trust was eating at me. What was I to do with her? In her mind maybe she thought in some way she was keeping me safe. What was I to do at all? If Jane knew the truth I knew it would be a battle to keep her safe not only from the gang but from herself. I felt like I was fighting a war on all fronts and my greatest enemy was in my own home and in my heart. I couldn't believe myself for thinking it but I wished in that moment that it _wasn't_ Jane that followed us to the motorcycle shop. I wanted it to be someone else...anyone else. I could squash any other enemy; but I couldn't squash Jane. I sighed heavily and bowed my head. Jane left me no choice. If she admitted to me she had indeed done as I believed and tailed and spied on me I would do what I needed to keep her safe. I steeled my nerves. Love they say is a battlefield; I was in for a war.

"What do you want to do now?" Detective Korsak asked.

I looked up at him.

"I have to go home. I have to talk to Jane."


	25. All that she wants pt 2

**A/N: So everyone make sure you read the last chapter which is part one of this two chapter update. This one is wild and a bit painful...the next one is all about the actual case and it's going to get intense. Shout out mrj726 (we worked our asses off on this one didn't we) Please review...we're almost at the finish line for this story. I can't wait...I'm exhausted. And with all that being said...here we go!**

**Jane**

James was sitting across from me in the restaurant booth looking very much like he wanted to implode. He kept shaking his head and his face was wrinkled in a disbelieving frown. Both of our meals remained untouched but our drink glasses were empty. I'd had one drink already to calm my nerves and James had polished off his second Long Island Iced tea. I stabbed at my French fries with a fork and sighed heavily. I'd stopped crying long ago and my sadness was replaced with feelings of vindictiveness coupled with defeat.

I felt like I'd been living a lie for five long years. All this time I thought my family had been killed in a random drunk driving accident. To discover that it wasn't true and worse to discover that my family's death had something to do with Tommy having an apparent addiction to gambling was sickening. I couldn't care less that my brother was a criminal. Well that's a lie; I did care. A lot. But he'd been trying to do what was right at the end. He was fighting for justice and standing up for what was right and someone had killed him and my whole family for it. Someone in that fucking Road Dog gang. I stabbed my fork at my plate several more times. I felt my cheeks tremble in my fury and my entire body flush with rage. I wouldn't stand for this. I wouldn't let this go. I knew the truth now. I was the last surviving Rizzoli old enough to make a difference. It fell to me to avenge my brother and my family that were robbed from me. But how? I couldn't go at the gang head on and neither could Maura; we'd get killed! Still there had to be a way; there just _had_ to be. And if not I just wanted to run. I wanted to forget everything I read in that file. I wanted to go back to New York and leave this hateful place behind for good. I should never have come here; well, I'm glad I did. This way I could convince Maura to stop what she was doing and come back to New York with me. I wanted justice; but I wanted Maura far more. I had been unhappy for so long and Maura filled my life with love and purpose. I didn't want that to end, I didn't want Maura to end. I just wanted peace for myself and our family.

I could feel James glancing up at me from time to time. His eyes were nervous and uncomfortable every time he looked at me. I didn't care what he was thinking. I didn't care what _anyone_ was thinking. I had my own thoughts to consider and no room for thoughts or opinions from anyone else.

"Would you like another round?" Our perky waitress asked appearing at our booth.

"YES!" I said without even thinking.

James was more hesitant.

"Who's going to drive us home?" He hissed at me across the table.

I glared at him.

"I don't give a fuck! We'll leave the car here and take a taxi!" I grumbled stabbing at my plate again.

"But Jane I don't think you should get drunk in your state of mind..."

"...what state of mind is that MOM!" I spat at him angrily.

James cowered under my ferocity.

"Two more please!" He squeaked at the waitress who looked all too pleased to get away from the table.

James picked at his Cobb salad. I could tell he wanted to talk but I wasn't in the mood to coddle him anymore. I'd put up with his hysteria the entire way back to the city and now I just wanted to think about what the hell I was going to do. I drained half my drink as soon as the waitress delivered it and ordered another before she left the table. James kept glancing at me nervously as he sipped his drink from his pink straw.

"That's a woman's drink," I said offhandedly.

James pouted.

"You know she's going to find out it was us!" James retorted.

"What?" I frowned.

"She's going to find out it was us that broke into the car!" James exclaimed.

"HOW?!" I frowned.

"She's not stupid. You said you tore the papers in the file! The alarm didn't go off, there's no forced entry. She's going to know someone had to have a key to get in!" James sighed.

"She'll forgive you because she loves you. But what about me? This is a shit storm." He complained.

"You know what?! I just found out my entire family was murdered because my brother was trying to bring down the most dangerous motorcycle gang in Massachusetts. I've got more to worry about than Maura's reaction to you right now! And anyway, she will be mad at me too!" I spat across the table.

James nodded his head.

"Yeah you're right...she _will_ be mad at you! She's not going to stand for the spy stuff anymore now that she knows the truth. She's going to pack us off to New York if we're lucky or overseas if she's feeling particularly malevolent. Maura's the _only_ thing we need to worry about right now. She's the one working the case remember? She's the one going undercover in the homicidal death gang! They killed your family _and_ an undercover police officer...they'll kill her too and _you_ if you're not careful!"

"I'm not going _anywhere_! Maura can't order me around. She can't banish me from the city! I'll send Angela back to New York with Consuela but I'm not leaving Maura to do this alone. I don't care if she likes it or not. Either she comes to New York with us or I stay here with her." I shot back with more fierceness than I actually felt at the moment.

James sipped from his pink straw again looking at me from the corner of his narrowed eyes. I downed the rest of my drink.

"I think you're underestimating her. Maura does what she wants, and when she wants. She has the power of her name behind her. That woman can move mountains, you've seen her. She'll move you too if she wants...all the way back to New York. And she'll work this case if she wants to; you need to think about how to get her to leave for New York with us!" He wailed.

I felt my anger rising.

"I think you're misjudging _me_. I'll do as I please James. And I _don't_ want Maura involved in this...not exactly. I don't want her running around undercover with those people. But I do want those biker bitches behind bars...or _dead_! I'll do it myself if it comes to that especially if it keeps Maura away from that gang! "I said slamming my fist on the table.

Several heads seated at tables near us looked warily in my direction. James reddened with embarrassment.

"You _can't_ get involved and neither should Maura." He tried to convince me.

"We just need to come up with another plan. We need to figure out how to get to the gang without getting directly involved with them. There has to be a way. We need to go to that strip club and check it out," I whispered to James.

James looked incredulous. His hair was wild and his suit was rumpled and the knot of his tie was undone. I'd never seen him look so disheveled and his frantic expression made him look dangerously close to crazed.

"WE need to throw ourselves at Maura's feet and confess to everything and beg her forgiveness! At least that's what _I_ need to do. I'm not protected like you. She's not in love with me! We gotta stay away from this from now on, Jane. More than that we need to convince Maura to stay away from it too! How could you even think of getting involved now that you know the truth?" James said with shaky fists and veins popping out of his neck and forehead. .

"Honestly I don't _want_ to be involved! I want to take Maura and run. But if she won't leave with me how can I NOT get involved now that I know the truth? I have to at least try right? My brother _died_ trying! You've got family; what would _you_ do if someone killed them and you had the chance to find out who it was?" I retorted angrily.

"I'd let the police do their _fucking_ JOB!" James hissed.

His jowls were quivering and his face was reddening.

"I _did_ do that and they gave up!" I said crunching on a piece of ice to keep myself from shouting.

"They reopened the case...they're trying to figure it out!" James said drinking from his pink straw again.

"When you say 'they' you mean Maura and that old raisin detective going undercover with a bunch of sociopaths. It's too dangerous, the very idea is insane! You said you didn't want Maura to go undercover with them either. You said you loved her like a sister! Help me out here James!" I pleaded with him.

James sighed and swore under his breath.

"I don't want _you_ getting involved in this either. Maura would die if something happened to you...and she'd blame _me_ for it. She could _crush_ me if she wanted! Maura's only doing her job, but you're a civilian and her girlfriend. Like I said, I say we confess to what we did and try to convince Maura to come back to New York with us until this whole thing is sorted out." James tried to convince me.

I sat back flustered and frustrated.

"She won't do it James. She won't give up; I know her! If she won't back down, neither can I. I don't want to get killed nor Maura to get killed either; _especially_ Maura James. I'll be damned if she's getting into this mess alone! We have to figure out how to help this case along so everyone on the good side comes out _alive_!" I cried.

"Well what the fuck Jane, what do you want me to say? Obviously this gang is not playing around; getting involved is a death sentence. There's no way to do it without danger!"

"_Think_ James. You have a private investigator. I feel like Maura and that old detective are looking for somebody with that same jacket they were wearing. There were all kinds of pictures of the jacket in that file. And that strip club...something's going on with the strip club. I say we sit outside that club and wait for the guy with the jacket to show up. Then we steal his bike and give it to Maura to find fingerprints or something. She says she has a finger print. We don't even have to meet those people face to face. I don't know why Maura didn't think of this!" I said chewing on another piece of ice.

"You don't think that gang would notice us sitting outside that club night after night? They probably have cameras and stuff. They'll get our license plate number and track us down. Even Maura wouldn't just steal a bike because it's an illegal search and seizure for the police and just plain old grand theft auto for us you fucking crazy pants! There's a process to this thing. They have to prove probable cause in order to convince a judge to sign a warrant to seize property, run finger prints and DNA. They can only prove probable cause if they get some kind of confession from someone in the gang about some crime or conspiracy and even then they need to find the right guy before they make a move. The only way to do that is undercover. We don't know the specifics of what's going on with the jacket. We can't run around stealing motorcycles from everyone in the world that has that damn jacket! Any evidence we collect that way wouldn't be admissible in court, then the gang would be on to us, we'd blow the entire investigation; the whole police department would hate our guts, not to mention how embarrassed and furious Maura would be...and then MURDER or worse JAIL! Think like a cop miss NYPD." James hissed.

I frowned. James was right. I scratched my head thinking hard.

"What if we..." I started, but James cut me off.

"...Stop saying 'we' I'm over the freaking 'we' word right now. If it doesn't have something to do with convincing Maura to stop with this nonsense I don't want to hear it." James growled.

I glared at him.

"What if we found the guy with the jacket and at least got his license plate number and got your detective guy to do some background checks on him. If something comes up for him in the system like a warrant we can give the police an anonymous tip. We can do this James," I pushed.

James looked drained.

"We'd still have to find out who the guy is and that's nearly impossible without going undercover. It's bigger than just the one guy. We don't know if he was ordered to kill your family by someone higher up in the gang or what the fuck is going on. I can tell you one arrest isn't going to make a difference. You have to take the gang out at the knees and cut off the head. You have to do that from the inside. It's too dangerous. _Jesus Christ_ you're persistent!" He scoffed.

"Persistence is the key to success," I smiled.

"In this case persistence is the key to _murder_." James retorted.

I rolled my eyes. I started to argue again but my cell phone rang. I looked at the caller ID, it was Maura. I didn't bother to answer. I was too angry with her to speak to her.

"That's her isn't it?" James sat up excitedly.

"Yes," I admitted.

"Answer it, explain yourself, plead for mercy!" He cried.

I shook my head.

"James, I'm furious with her. She should have told me the truth about my brother! She was probably _never_ going to tell me! I'm so mad I can't think straight right now."

James looked like he wanted to fall out of the booth.

"You're mad at _her_? _We_ are the ones running around like Sherlock and Watson breaking into cars and shit! How was she supposed to tell you about your brother? She was trying to protect you from this and from yourself. She'd do anything to protect you. Why can't you see that?"

I shot daggers at James across the table.

"It wasn't her place to do that!" I raged.

"She had every _right_ to do that. It's _her_ case..."

"...It's my _family's_ case!" I interrupted.

James closed his eyes and gathered his strength. He opened his eyes and fixed me with a level gaze.

"The only reason your family has a chance at justice at all is because of Maura. Your arrogance in thinking you can do better than her is astounding!"

I fumed.

"Maura's not a detective..."

"..Neither are YOU!" James spat. "The only one qualified to do this is Maura and the police...let them do what they do best which is solve crime!"

"And let her get killed in the process? I don't think so! I've lost enough already. I'm not losing her too."

"You need to come clean about the car incident and listen to what she says. We can give her some ideas of how to solve the case but at the end of the day it's not up to us. She knows best Jane. If she refuses to back down at least she'll protect you and solve this case one way or another."

I started to argue again but James' cell phone rang.

"It's Maura," He exclaimed.

I grabbed the phone from his hand and held it away from him.

"Jane...give it..._give_ it!" He begged trying desperately to snatch his phone back.

I swatted at him and cursed until it stopped ringing. James sat back in the booth looking flustered and dejected. Everyone around us was staring.

"Why are you being so _stubborn_?" James hissed.

I tucked his phone in my pants pocket and leaned back in the booth.

"If Maura refuses to back away from the case how do I convince her to let me help?"

"You _don't_!" James said rolling his eyes and rubbing his forehead.

I thought for a few moments.

"I have an idea!" I exclaimed at last.

James grumbled.

"Not another one of your ideas."

...

I paid the taxi driver and ran up the driveway to the front door with James in tow.

"I can't believe we just left a rental car at a restaurant!" He complained.

"Stop fretting you whiner it will be fine!" I said through clenched teeth.

"I have to pee so badly!" James wailed.

I rolled my eyes.

"That's because you had three lady drinks and you have a woman's bladder." I chuckled.

James fumed at my insult. I rummaged in my pocket for my house key when I heard the click of a gun behind me. I spun around. James was pressed against the front of the house with his hands up trembling in fear. There was a very large man pointing a very large hand gun at us. He was wearing a sharp black business suit and was clean shaven and clean cut. He certainly didn't look like a scary biker but he did look frightening none the less. There was no fear in his eyes and no hesitation in his demeanor. He had the set jaw and steady arms of a man who had wielded a gun many times in his life. I raised my hands slowly shocked and uncertain of what was going on. It was early evening, the sun was just setting. This couldn't be a robbery, so what the fuck?

"Identify yourselves!" The man barked at us.

James squeaked. I frowned.

"I _live_ here; this is my girlfriend's home and this is our attorney! Who the hell are _you_?" I inquired.

I was growing angry that this man was aiming a gun at me on the front steps of my girlfriend's house.

"Jane Rizzoli? James Licton?" The man asked with authority.

"YES!" I exclaimed.

James was shaking like a leaf beside me.

"I'm Arthur Bennington. Dr. Isles hired me and my partner as private security for you and the family for the time being." The man said holstering his weapon.

"WHAT!" I wailed.

"Go inside ma'am and sir. Dr. Isles will be home shortly."

"Is she very mad?" James quaked.

The security man cocked his head to the side and seemed amused.

"Just wait inside." He said.

I didn't need to be told twice. I opened the front door and dragged James inside behind me.

"Gross James, you're sweating like crazy!" I said wiping James' sweat on my jeans.

"I think I pissed myself a little, that guy's so scary, Jane!" James wailed.

I rolled my eyes.

"You're such a _sissy_-go change!" I berated him.

"Go to hell you were scared _too_!" He spat at me.

"Who wouldn't be? At least my pants are dry you wimp. I can't believe Maura's got those secret service dudes running around the house pointing guns at people!" I exclaimed.

I was extremely shaken by what had just happened. I was trying to pull myself together with great effort but James' panting was distracting.

"She's scared for you and the baby. That's how dangerous this situation is...it calls for delta force one!" James exclaimed.

I started to respond when my thoughts were interrupted.

"WHERE YOU BEEN MALDITA?" Consuela screeched bounding into the foyer with Angela on her hip.

I smiled at my baby and pulled her into my arms. She giggled and pulled my hair as I kissed her all over her cheeks. Franklin Thomas rushed up to us and barked at James' feet. James stepped behind me and eyed FT warily. I thought I saw him put his hands in front of his crotch protectively. I smirked.

"What's going on with the guy outside, Consuela?" I asked walking toward the living room with Angela bouncing in my arms.

"I not know! There another one upstairs digging around. Big scary man with big scary gun! Doctor call in panic asking for you! She send strange men here and no explain why. What you doing? Where you been?" Consuela said at my heels berating me with information and questions.

"If you two in trouble I taking baby away from here! I already pack bags! You tell me what's going on!" Consuela demanded of me.

I sat on the couch and kissed the top of Angela's head. James had come back from probably changing his urine-soaked boxers and disappeared into the kitchen. Consuela stood over me with her hands on her hips and a pout on her wrinkled face but her eyes were wide with excitement.

"I want you to leave for New York tonight Consuela. I'll book you a flight on my credit card but I want Angela out of here as soon as possible. You'll be safe there."

Consuela narrowed her eyes at me.

"I _knew_ you in trouble. Loca! Maldita! You come to New York with me!" She demanded.

I shook my head. What the hell? Maldita? I'd have to ask Maura what the word meant. Angela squealed in my arms reaching for her stuffed elephant. I handed her the toy and kissed her head again smiling at her grinning face as she chewed on the animal's ear.

"No Consuela. I have to stay here with Maura, but you must keep my baby safe."

Consuela looked beside herself.

"What is going ON?!" She ranted.

James came back with two glasses of wine handing one to me and drinking from the other. He was only wearing his dress shoes, socks, boxers and a wife beater t-shirt. Consuela began screaming something to the effect of people used to wear clothes in the doctor's house until I moved in.

"Jane's brother was a gangster back in the day. He got a guilty conscience and turned on the gang. The gang found out and had him killed along with Jane's entire family. The police never solved the case five years ago and now Maura's running around playing hero. Jane made me spy on Maura and we found out she's going undercover to find the guy that killed Jane's family after Jane broke into Maura's car, and _now_ Jane wants to run around playing vigilante like a crazy ass! Maura must think someone from the gang broke into her car and that's why she sent that security team to the house. The gang is a bunch of dangerous murderers and as long as Maura's working this case and Jane keeps being a nosey ass girlfriend we're all in danger. That's what's going on!" James said flopping down on the couch and sipping from the wine glass again.

I glared at him. Consuela looked fit to be tied.

"You not serious!" She shouted.

"He _is_ serious," I said honestly.

"But that _crazy_. You and doctor get yourselves killed!" Consuela wailed.

I started to reply when a second security guard entered the room. He looked twice as scary as the first guy. He was a giant hulk of a man standing way over six feet with shoulders as broad as a doorway. His face looked like it hadn't worn a smile in a decade at least and his cold blue eyes were piercing and observant of everything. I stared at the man with my jaw hanging open. James looked like he needed to change his shorts again. Consuela looked flustered and aggravated by the man's presence. Angela squealed and giggled at the huge beast of a man. The man actually smiled at my baby. I was shocked that his lips knew how to make a smile at all. Hulkster took one look at James sitting in his shorts cowering like an idiot and gave him a distasteful frown.

"Who the fuck are _you_?" I exclaimed in a high-pitched uptight voice.

The man nodded his head toward me.

"Gerald Ingles, ma'am. At your service. Dr. Isles hired me to keep you safe. I'll be your personal escort back to New York and your bodyguard until Dr. Isles says otherwise." The man explained.

"What!" I blurted out.

"Dr. Isles feels that under the circumstances..."

"...what circumstances!" I interrupted the man. "I don't need a baby sitter and I'm not _going_ back to New York!"

James nudged me with his elbow.

"Careful," James whispered close to me "That guy could snap your neck like a twig!"

I rolled my eyes.

"What exactly did my girlfriend say to you?" I inquired as patiently as I could.

Gerald inclined his head again.

"It would be best if the doctor explained herself," He replied steadily.

"She not tell me either!" Consuela huffed.

I started to ask more questions when the front door opened and people started pouring into the house. Gerald pulled his weapon until he noticed the children and the frantic woman walking through the door. A radio on Gerald's waist chimed in.

"Two toddlers, one infant and one adult female entering the premises. No security threat detected!" Arthur's voice sounded over the radio.

Gerald holstered his weapon.

"Molly!" James exclaimed.

He bounded to his feet and ran towards the door giving the security guard a wide berth and eyeing him warily as he passed him. Two young boys, at the most three and four years old, and James' wife walked into the house. James' wife was holding a baby carrier in one hand and luggage in another. The second security guard Arthur entered the house laden down with luggage. I rose to my feet in shock. Molly and James' children weren't supposed to show up until the next day and I had planned on asking James to cancel their visit all together in light of recent events. I didn't want my own child in the house let alone anyone else's until matters were under control again. Franklin Thomas was circling the company and barking excitedly. The two young boys squealed in excitement at my puppy and started running through the house, knocking things over with their flailing arms, and yelling at the top of their lungs with Franklin Thomas in tow nipping at their heels. Angela giggled and squirmed in my lap excitedly trying to make me put her down. Consuela looked beside herself.

"Who these people Miss Jane?" She whispered to me with bright flustered eyes.

I eyed her back just as bewildered.

"James' family. Those are his kids and that's his wife!" I explained.

The two boys started jumping on the love seat and throwing pillows at Franklin Thomas who barked happily and ran around the couch with his tongue lolling out of his mouth. Consuela started screeching and waiving her arms in consternation.

"NO jumping on furniture...no throwing pillows! NO NO NO!" She wailed.

Consuela was red faced and huffing snatching pillows from the boys and trying to swat at Franklin Thomas with them. FT snatched a pillow right out of her hand and started tearing into it excitedly sending bits of stuffing flying everywhere. I sighed and rolled my eyes. This insanity on top of everything else I had to contend with was maddening.

"_Fuck me_!" I wailed to myself.

I looked at the security guard. He seemed to be mildly amused by the goings on. A pillow narrowly missed my head and I ran from the living room with Angela cradled in my arms. I scooted up to James who looked panicked and terror stricken for some reason. Molly looked teary eyed and woeful. She was extremely thin I noticed and seemed like she was in way over her head. The young blond was sniffing softly, her eyes red and runny.

"What's going on buddy?" I asked James through gritted teeth.

He eyed me nervously. His brow was sweating for some reason and he seemed more fidgety than usual. The boys ran through the downstairs again screaming at the top of their lungs with a barking Franklin Thomas close behind them. James looked like he wanted to chase down his boys but he seemed afraid to leave his wife. I narrowed my eyes at James' bad ass kids. They were spreading stuffing from the ripped pillow all over the house. Angela seemed thrilled at all the excitement. I struggled with her writhing body. Consuela appeared at my side and pulled Angela from my arms walking up the stairs cursing in Spanish under her breath. I noticed her uniform was covered in bits of pillow stuffing. I was too frustrated to find it in myself to grin. I pinched the bridge of my nose between my eyes and sighed heavily.

"HI Jane," James' wife said breathlessly. She put the baby carrier down and shook my hand. I smiled as graciously as I could.

"Hey Molly, you're early." I said not unkindly but I glared at James briefly before returning a smile to Molly.

The boys ran by again still screaming.

"Show me where to put these," Gerald said holding up the suitcases.

"Oh...um follow me," James said heading up the stairs.

I laughed nervously when I was left alone with Molly. Molly was staring at James's state of dress or undress and frowning a little.

"SO!" I said trying to break the tension "How old is the pip squeak?"

"Oh, eight months yesterday. I know I wasn't supposed to show up until tomorrow, but the boys are such a handful and they miss their father. It's hard for me alone with all three of them." Molly looked exhausted.

I noticed her shirt had a milk stain on it, her hair was frazzled and her eyes looked weary and overwhelmed. I felt sympathetic toward her. I could still hear the boys screaming somewhere in the house. I took the baby carrier and led Molly into the living room. There were pillows, couch cushions, and stuffing everywhere. Somehow a lamp had gotten knocked over and for some reason gummy treats were scattered all over the floor. Molly looked embarrassed. The boys ran back into the living room and started jumping on the love seat again.

"Boys please stop! We're guests here!" She pleaded with the boys who paid her no mind.

They were busy throwing gummy treats at Franklin Thomas who was making a game of jumping up and catching them. I didn't know what to think. Molly wasn't more than 26 and in no condition to deal with her rambunctious boys. I sat the baby carrier on the coffee table and snatched up the two boys by the collar.

"You two devils _outside_!" I barked with a cop's authority, hustling them by their necks toward the back door.

Franklin Thomas followed looking for more treats.

"You too!" I shouted at my dog as I pushed the boys out on the back patio. FT followed.

I closed the door behind them and turned my attention to Molly. She was brushing at the milk stain on her shirt. I thought I saw tears in her eyes. I sighed and shook my head.

"Do you think you could entertain the animals while Molly and I talk?" I asked the giant security guard.

He nodded his head and slipped outside. I went about putting couch cushions back in their place and poured Molly as glass of wine. I figured if she were breastfeeding she would just set it down, but it seemed like she could sure use something to calm her nerves.

"What's going on sweetheart you look...frazzled?" I said pulling Molly down on the couch.

She took the glass of wine and drank heavily from it thanking me graciously. Not breastfeeding apparently…at least I hoped not.

"I can't do this Jane. I'm a terrible mother! The boys never listen to me. You see what they're like. I'm depressed all the time and James is always gone and I'm all alone in that big house and no one to help me. I just needed to see my husband," She began to cry. I topped off her glass of wine.

I patted her on the shoulder. I didn't know what the hell to say. I had a million things on my mind, two giant hit secret service type babysitters to contend with, I had to get Angela and Consuela out of the city, a girlfriend to no doubt fight with, my family's murder to help solve, and now I had a house full of guests to top it off. I sighed and drank from my own wine glass. Molly was still crying and then she leaned her head on my shoulder sobbing uncontrollably. I rolled my eyes and patted her back drinking my wine over her shoulder as I did so. James and Consuela entered the living room. Consuela looked around and started cursing at the mess. James seemed humiliated at his wife's breakdown and their baby started crying. I rolled my eyes.

"Oh NO! My shirt!" Molly wailed.

She pulled away and I noticed her breasts were leaking milk through the fabric. She started crying all the harder. I eyed James nervously and pulled their baby out of her carrier. James smiled at me painfully and led his wife upstairs.

"This _madness_!" Consuela screeched as soon as James and his wife were upstairs.

"I KNOW! But they're guests. We can't kick them out," I said wearily sitting down with James' baby and rocking her gently with in my arms.

Consuela started putting the living room back together. She cursed many times when she stepped on a sticky gummy treat smashing it into the Oriental rug.

"In all the years I know doctor I never know so much madness in the house. Now you say you in danger and so is Doctor! Ay dios Mio."

I started to reply but the front door opened again and Maura and Korsak walked inside. Maura looked furious and Korsak looked like he wanted to walk right back out the door. Maura's eyes went wide when she walked into the living room and saw what was going on and James' baby in my arms.

"Hey honey!" I said sarcastically.

"What is going on?" Maura shouted over the noise looking around with wild eyes. She noticed James' boys screaming outside with Gerald chasing after them. Her jaw dropped. Korsak scratched at his stubble.

"Oh isn't it _great_, James' family is a day early!" I yelled back. "Good evening Detective Korsak," I nodded to the man.

"Jane," He replied casually.

James's baby was squalling in my arms so we all had to shout to be heard. Maura pulled the baby girl into her own arms.

"Honey we need to talk!" Maura shouted over the baby's crying.

"WHAT!" I shouted back.

Maura started to reply when the baby spit up on her blouse. I couldn't even laugh even though it was hysterical. Maura looked beside herself with frustration. I just shook my head and pulled off my tank top and wiped off Maura's blouse. Maura looked at me furiously nodding her head toward the detective and then back at my topless body. I shrugged my shoulders. What did it matter? I had a bra on for Christ sakes. Consuela pulled the baby from Maura's arms. Maura grabbed mine and detective Korsak's hands and led us into the dining room. She rounded on us furiously.

"Did you break into my car today, Jane?" She asked me straight out.

I was shocked for a moment, and then I shrugged my shoulders again.

"Maybe...um…weeelll…yeah kind of I did" I confessed.

Maura looked furious.

"What does that _mean_, Jane?" She demanded.

"You gave me a key, so it's not exactly like breaking into the car." I said backing up a few steps, as I answered.

Maura fixed me with a vicious glare."Why would you _do_ that Jane? Do you have any idea how _terrified_ I've been? I thought someone stole the key from you! I thought you were in danger! I was scared to _death_ something happened to you and then you didn't answer your phone! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?" Maura raged at me.

I threw the dirty shirt on the floor and clenched my fists.

"I did what I _had_ to do because I knew you were hiding something and I was _right_! I read that file." I said narrowing my eyes at my girlfriend.

Maura looked beside herself with anger.

"You had no right to _do_ that Jane. We talked about this; you said you trusted me! Now I find out you've been running around behind my back _spying_ on me?" Maura was quaking in fury.

I gave her my most loathsome glare.

"You've got a lot of nerve talking about someone sneaking around behind someone's back! _You_ were going to run around undercover in a motorcycle murder gang and not tell me! That's bullshit...not to mention totally _insane_! I demand you stop with this undercover shit immediately!" I screamed at her.

The look Maura gave me could have melted ice and set the room on fire at the same time. I held my ground. I would not flinch under her fury.

"You do _not_ make demands of me when it comes to my job!" Maura said in a low chilly tone laced with contempt.

I was so angry I kicked my shirt on the floor and sent it flying across the room.

"Well _you_ don't do things that could get you _killed_ and not even give me a heads up about it! Did you consider me at all when you were thinking up plans to infiltrate this death gang? Did you think about Angela? Angela is your daughter too. Legally she is still under your supervision, remember?Did you ever consider how devastated I'd be if something happened to you because of this case?" I fumed huffing and puffing between gasping furious breaths. I could hardly breathe.

Maura threw up her hands.

"_All_ I think about is you and Angela! If something happens to me I left you _everything_ besides what's designated for my charities. I'm working this case for _you_ Jane. Did you ever consider how much it would hurt _me_ if something happened to _you_? I'm trying to protect you; everything I _do_ is for you!For _us_. I hired security to keep you safe and all the while you've been putting us all in danger with your snooping! When was it going to stop Jane? If I hadn't caught you today were you just going to keep on interfering? Do you know how dangerous that would be for you?For me? For the other officers involved in this investigation?" Maura exclaimed, her voice high and shrill.

My teeth were grinding in my head.

"It is not about _money_ Maura. _We_ are not about money. _I_ am not about money. Yeah I thought about how dangerous this is...for _you_! I don't want you _dead_. And yeah I would have kept following you around; someone has to watch out for you since you're so determined to get yourself killed! I'm _still_ going to follow you around because I don't trust you to _stop_ this insanity!" I thundered.

"They killed my brothers and my mother Maura; I couldn't bare it if they killed you too. I love and adore you. You are my family. I could not survive losing you. I can only take so much." I could feel the tears burning my eyes.

I swallowed hard and turned away. I brought a trembling hand up to my mouth to hold back the pain.

Maura looked like all her worst fears were coming true. Detective Korsak sighed.

"Jane I've been a detective a long time. I can tell you I'm doing everything I can..." The detective said sympathetically.

I glared at him and walked right up to him.

"...You guys got my family killed by letting my brother get involved in the gang when he was trying to get out. An undercover officer lost his life too. Now you want to get my girlfriend killed! It was your idea to drag Maura into the undercover thing wasn't it? She is a doctor. Not a _cop_!" I screamed stabbing Detective Korsak in the chest with my finger.

The detective was obviously a little shaken by my accusation only because it was true. Maura looked bewildered by my outrage.

"And _you_!" I looked straight at Maura, "How could you keep all that from me about my brother working undercover with the police?"

Maura seemed hurt by my words. She reached for my hand but I pulled away. I didn't want to be consoled; I wanted the absolute truth for once.

"I didn't even receive that file until this morning. How could I tell you all those things, Jane? I knew how much it would hurt you; Detective Korsak and I are working extremely hard to solve this case but I need you to calm down and let me explain..."

"...Jiggle Hut gentleman's club right?" I blurted out.

I sneered at their shocked expressions.

"Yeah I know about the strip club." I spat at them.

Maura looked like she wanted to cry. Korsak looked like he didn't know what to say.

"Jane please; you're not supposed to know about that place!" Maura wailed.

"But I _do_ know and so help me I'll burn that place to the ground if you _ever_ try and set foot in there!" I glared at her furiously.

"Jane you would go to jail and the gang would find out who you were and kill us most likely! What would happen to Angela if something happened to both of us?" Maura wailed.

"You know what Maura _I'll_ back off if _you_ back off. I don't want you getting yourself killed over this case. It's _crazy_ and _you're_ crazy and _I'm_ crazy because _you're_ crazy! Let's forget this whole thing. Let's get my nephew and go back to New York. I wish this wasn't happening. I wish you never opened this case." I pleaded.

Maura's eyes looked sad and heavy.

"Detective Korsak can you wait for me in the living room," Maura sighed.

Korsak nodded his head and walked away. Maura and I stared at each other for a long time. I could hear the baby screaming in the living room, I could hear the boys screaming outside, I could hear James' wife crying upstairs, I could hear Consuela cursing about everything. But I had eyes only for Maura. She was so beautiful despite how furious I was with her. Her hazel eyes held a certain sadness I'd never seen and the look of sympathy on her face melted my anger. I felt cold as I stood there shirtless. I wrapped my arms around my body and sniffled. I didn't want to fight anymore; I just wanted Maura to stay home with me where it was safe. Maura sighed and brushed her fingers through my wild tangled locks. I dug at my tired eyes with my knuckles and blinked back tears.

"I only followed you because I was worried about you," I admitted

Maura's smile was pained and forced.

"I only opened this case because _I_ was worried about _you_!" She whispered. "But it's grown into so much more than that. This case is bigger than I ever imagined but baby you have to back down. Korsak and Frost won't mention your indiscretion; but I can't protect you from the law if you keep going vigilante. Not to mention how dangerous it is. Do you understand?" Maura tried to console me.

"Does that mean you won't go undercover?" I asked hopefully.

"No, I'm still the best option at collecting the evidence I need since the higher ups won't give us more manpower. But I'll be careful honey, don't worry." Maura tried to be reassuring.

It wasn't working. I sighed and shook my head. A lonely tear ran down my cheek.

"I won't let you do it," I whispered.

My breath was raspy and choked. I felt my face burn. I felt my lips tremble. I felt my eyes sting. I wouldn't let her do it. I _loved_ her. Maura sighed and kissed my cheek.

"I've called my pilot; you and everyone else are going back to New York tonight. I'm sending the security team with you to keep you safe. I can't do my job if I'm terrified for you or worried that you'll do something silly to get yourself in trouble." Maura said looking sincerely into my eyes.

I turned away from her, angry tears streamed down my face. I grabbed at my chest and my beating heart. It felt like something inside me had broken sending wave after wave of pain surging through me.

"NO! I'm not leaving. I won't do it. I'm not leaving you!" I cried.

I couldn't hold back the tears. Agony enveloped me driving me to desperate hysteria.

Maura crossed her arms and closed her eyes. I could see pain all over her face, but the set of her jaw told me she would not bend. My pain and Maura's defiance drove me to fury.

"You can't _make_ me go! You can't boss me around! I'm staying with you...you _need_ me...I _need_ you! I don't want to live another day without you," I cried.

I covered my face with my shaking hands. Maura's voice was soft and sad, grief was written all over her but still she would not bend.

"I don't want to live another day without you either, Jane, which is why you must go. You told me yourself you wouldn't stop interfering. I can't trust you to stay in Boston. You're the mother of my daughter _and_ my son." Maura whispered. "I ran the DNA tests from the sample James collected from your nephew. We have a son now; I have to consider what's best for my entire family sweetheart. That's my job, you are _all_ my responsibility and there is nothing I take more serious than my family. Even if my decisions are painful to us both I have to do what's best. You've trusted me as the head of this house up until now, and I need you to trust me now more than ever. I will do everything in my power to get through this case alive; but I will do everything in my power to keep you as far away from it as possible also. My son and my daughter _need_ their mother. Do you understand little princess?" Maura wrapped me in her arms and I cried on her shoulder.

I held her so tightly against me I was afraid I might crush her. I didn't want to let go. I didn't want the world to have her. I didn't want her to leave me or make me leave her. I wanted to stay in her arms forever. I would keep her safe and she would keep me safe and we could be happy together forever in our embrace. I kissed her so hard I thought our lips might bruise. She held my face in her hands and let me kiss her the way I wanted.

My lips trembled against hers.

"Come back to New York with me," I pleaded.

Maura hesitated. She gazed deep into my eyes. She leaned in and kissed me softly, gently, sweetly. It was the greatest kiss, the greatest love. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I kissed her back. I wrapped my hands in her silky hair and trembled with longing and desperation to keep her near. She was my light, I couldn't lose her to the darkness. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the taste of her and the smell of her shampoo and the sound of her soft sweet moan against my lips. We broke the kiss slowly and stood in each other's arms letting the world fall away around us.

"Is that what you want? For me to give up and go back to New York? Should I tremble in the face of evil and allow these bad men to terrorize innocent people like you and so many others?" She whispered softly.

"What I _don't_ want is for something to happen to you." I said nuzzling my nose in Maura's neck.

I felt her body tremble in my arms.

"Janie sweetheart listen to me," Maura said stepping back and holding me firmly at arm's length.

"We're so close to solving this case. If we can find the man responsible for the murder and get a warrant to collect his DNA or fingerprint we can convince the DA to claim RICO against the gang and bring the whole club down like a house of cards. We can put this gang away for the rest of their lives. They've hurt _so_ many people; I have the chance to bring justice for you and _many_ others. I can't turn my back now. I made you a promise."

I felt my heart breaking.

"Maura I swear to God _enough_ with the promise! My family's already gone, I can't bring them back. I've made peace with that now because I have something else to live for; I have you and Angela and my nephew. I can't raise them both without you...we are a _family_!_You're_ my family...I need you with me." I begged her with eyes burning with desperation.

Maura looked at me with compassion, empathy and so much love. She brushed the tears from my eyes and kissed my cheek.

"I'm right here little princess; you have my heart. You will never be without me. I am anywhere and everywhere you are even if we're a thousand miles apart. You say you've made peace with your family's death but you haven't sweetheart. You haven't even been to their graves yet. Now unfortunately you know it wasn't just a drunk driving accident...it was murder through and through. It will eat at you forever if you never know who did it or what happened. Do you want some other person to go through the same pain and loss as you? Don't you want justice for your nephew's father? Don't you want your brother's bravery to count for something? Don't you want freedom for the poor, young, often under-aged girls they buy and sell as sex slaves? Do you really want me to turn my back when I can bring them down? You told me once I can't run and hide just because something is painful or scary. You said I have to face my fears and see things through to the end. I need you to stand by me while I stand up for what's right. I need you to trust me and know that I'm doing what's best for you, our babies, and the world. I need to know when I walk into that club that the love of my life is far away and safe with my children." She whispered tenderly in my ear.

"But they _kill_ people, Maura! What if they kill you too? How can you ask me to leave you knowing I might never see you again? How can you _ask_ that of me? I can't do it. I'm not walking away. I staying...I am staying right here," I fell to my knees at Maura's feet wrapping my arms around her waist and holding her tightly against me.

I felt the tears streaming down my face. I couldn't stop the sobs from taking over. I wiped furiously at my tears willing myself to be strong but I had no more strength. The truth of so many things overwhelmed me. My family's murder, my lost nephew, years of regrets over having thought my family's death was my fault when all the while the truth was far more sinister than I could ever have imagined. I'd found my strength through Maura, but nothing could completely wipe away the torment of my family's loss deep in the depths of me. I thought I was managing but maybe I was wrong. Maura was my champion on so many levels. I'd live with the agony in my heart if Maura was always there to comfort me. I wanted to be strong but Maura _was_ my strength. Without her I was nothing. I let the tears flow as they may. Maura cradled the back of my head running her fingers through my hair and shushing me. I sobbed into the soft fabric of her blouse. I couldn't lose her too. I would lose my mind if I lost her too.

"Don't cry baby girl," She said softly.

I only cried harder.

"Please don't do this Maura. I can't lose you...I love you _so_ much...I _need_ you so much! Let's run away with Angela and my nephew and leave this place behind. I'll have your babies and make a home with you and take care of you and love you like crazy. Maura the horrible sore in my soul that I filled with drugs and sex and self-loathing for so long feels like it is ripping me wide open all over again. It's not fair. You can't show me the world and make me feel loved after I hated myself for so long just to turn around and leave me for the same mess that got my family killed. You can't call Angela your daughter and turn your back on her. You can't write me a check for all your money and then send me off like I'm just in your way! Just _please_ Maura, don't leave me! Don't leave me! Don't leave me!" I cried so hard my body shook and my muscles trembled.

Maura looked down at me for a long time wiping my tears and brushed her fingers over my cheek. Her face was drawn and tight with exhaustion but she said nothing. Her eyes were red, her lips trembled, so much pain shown on her face. I could tell she was thinking hard of what to say. I was terrified she was going to say something that would hurt me and a lump formed in my throat.

"Let's just _go_! Let's just run away! All I need is you and the kids...you're everything to me Maura. Please...PLEASE don't leave me!" I begged her with all my might.

Maura looked down at me sadly. A tear ran down her cheek as she cradled my face in her hands and I could see so many emotions on her face. I could tell she wanted to cry too. I could see her eyes shining with tears. I could see her lips quiver and her jaw work to keep herself from sobbing like me. Her eyes radiated affection but there was sadness also. I knew she couldn't stand to see me like this. I knew I was breaking her heart. I knew she just wanted me to be happy and would do anything to make that happen, even if it wasn't what I thought I needed. I took her hands and held them tightly as I looked up at her from my knees with a desperate tear streaked face. I noticed Maura swallow many times to hold back her waves of emotions. She was just about to speak when Korsak walked into the dining room.

"My contact just called. The guy with the jacket is at the club right now!" Korsak sounded excited and determined.

I whimpered. I looked up at Maura. I could feel my eyes burning with desperation. Maura looked shocked. Then she closed her eyes tightly shaking her head and sighing heavily. I pulled at her blouse and lay my head against her stomach.

"Don't go." I whispered so softly I don't even know if she heard me.

Maura lifted my chin with her fingers and cradled my face in her hands. Her expression was solid and determined. There was no fear in her eyes; but I still saw the sorrow she felt for what she was about to say. I knew what she was going to say before she even spoke. I felt it in my heart. Terror and adrenaline enveloped my senses. Maura's face was a cold mask. She pushed her fears and feelings into the recesses of her mind. She was mine no longer in that moment. She was Doctor Maura Isles. There was no weakness in her, and I was her greatest weakness. There was no room for thoughts of me. The realization that I had lost this war crippled me. I dissolved. She would go, I knew it. She was leaving me for the darkness.

I sat cross legged on the floor and sobbed into my hands. I didn't hear the words Maura said to me. I blocked them out. I didn't feel the kiss she bestowed on my cheek. I didn't hear her orders to James and the security guards. I didn't notice the ensuing panic in the house. I didn't notice the other adults gathering luggage and preparing to leave in a flurry to rapid motion. I didn't hear the cars pull up outside to take us to the private airport where Maura's plane was waiting. I didn't hear James' desperate, adamant protestations that Maura not proceed with the case. I didn't hear the way she roared at him to go put some damn pants on and get her family and his to the airport or else. I didn't hear the sweet words Maura spoke to Angela before the door slammed behind her and she was gone. I didn't hear Consuela's efforts to console me as she pulled a shirt over my head. I didn't speak to Arthur as he lifted me from the floor and into his arms. I didn't hear James insisting that he drive me to the airport himself while everyone else loaded into the other cars. All I knew was my pain, my terror, and my aching dread that I could lose the one I loved most.

James drove our car in silence as I wiped at my tears. My vision was blurry and my mind cloudy with grief.

"Why is she doing this to me, James?" I whispered.

James' face was pained and drawn. He sighed and shook his head.

"She's not doing anything _to_ you Jane; she's doing this _for_ you. We did everything we could. She's determined to solve this case, but she's determined that you don't get involved. We just have to do what she asks, we don't have a choice, and she's the boss Jane." James said sadly.

I looked out the passenger's side window. It was fully dark now, well into the evening hours. The lights of the streets flashed by as we drove. So this was it? This was how I said goodbye to the love of my life knowing I may never see her again? This is how our story ended, with Maura running off into the night straight into the darkness of the greatest threat she'd ever faced all in the name of justice for me and my family? I had told Maura to find her strength and stand up for herself, but I didn't mean this. I also told her I'd always be there to back her up...and I meant that. I would not go quietly into the night. I would not hand Maura over to the darkness. I would not flee. I would not falter. I would not leave Maura when she needed me most. I clenched my fists. I set my jaw. James pulled up to a stop light. The other cars in our caravan ahead of us cleared the light but we couldn't make it. I smiled.

"1532 Cavalier Blvd," I said softly.

James looked at me quizzically.

"What?" He asked.

"1532 Cavalier Blvd. The address of the Jiggle Hut Gentleman's club," I said in a cold distant voice.

James looked worried. He frowned.

"What are you _talking_ about Jane?" He asked me nervously.

Before he could react I attacked him. I grabbed his collar and dug his taser from his jacket pocket and held it to his neck threateningly. James' eyes were wide and manic. He held up his arms shaking and terrified.

"What the _fuck,_ Jane!" He said with a shaking pitiful voice.

I shook my head.

"I'm sorry James. I'm not leaving her. I don't want to hurt you but you gotta get the fuck out." I said.

I reached in James' pants pocket and pulled out his cell phone. I tucked the phone in my pocket and put the car in park. James cursed and swore at me furiously.

"You really _are_ fucking crazy!" He raged at me.

His eyes were burning with fury. I nodded my head.

"I'm crazy about my girlfriend," I said honestly. "Get the fuck out."

James looked like he wanted to spit fire.

"Don't do this Jane," He warned me.

"If something happens to me give custody of my daughter and my nephew to Maura. If something happens to us both everything is yours. Take care of my babies. Tell them mommy and maddy died fighting. Now get the fuck out!" I said pressing the taser roughly against his skin.

James cursed and unbuttoned his seatbelt. He slid out of the car and kicked at the asphalt in a rage. I slid into the driver's seat and closed the door putting the car in drive. The light turned green. James ran after the car as far as he could until I turned the corner and sped away.

"1532 Cavalier Blvd." I repeated in my head.

I had a plan.


	26. I'll Come for You

**A/N: This is the first chapter of one long chapter I had to split again. It starts slow but it picks up. Fair warning, the next chapter comes with a trigger warning! It's not for the faint of heart. I told you no one would die, but I also said a long time ago this story would be dark and hard to read at times, you can call me a lot of things over this story, but you'll never call me a liar. Anyway if dark drama scares you run away! Those of you left, god bless you. Please review...shout out to my beta mrj726. Thank you so much for your hard work. And with all that being said...here we go!**

**Maura**

I stood staring at myself in my office mirror. I swallowed a painful lump in my throat. I ran my hands over the leather of my studded vest and winced at the temporary tattoos Korsak helped me place on my arms and chest. I looked at my short leather skirt and sighed. I looked at the horrible knee length lace up boots on my feet and shook my head. My face was painted in dark make up around my eyes and lipstick the color of blood. My hair was ratty and messy but Korsak said it was appropriate for my character...Diamond...I felt more like a Rhinestone, cheap and worthless. I thumbed the leather studded collar around my neck. Who was I? FT? I stared at my eyes in the mirror. My normally bright hazel pupils were a cold distant grey the color of a stormy sky. The light I'd come to see in my face was gone. This person in the mirror was not me. Who was I? I closed my eyes and swallowed hard turning away from the mirror. I looked around my office. Everything seemed the same. Nothing was out of place. But I felt so cold, and lost, and empty; like I didn't belong. I walked over to my desk and my heart caught in my throat. In the middle of my desk was a coffee cup with the words 'World's Best Maddy,' written all over it in scribbled childish handwriting. I stopped short staring at the mug. Jane had that mug made especially for me. I felt my eyes begin to water. I reached for the cup with trembling hands and held it to my chest. I ran my thumbs over the word Maddy as a tear slowly leaked from the corners of my eyes.

I noticed the picture of Jane, Angela and I at the park in New York in a cute wooden frame with butterflies painted on it that Jane picked out for me. I smiled when I remembered the day we took that picture. It was the day after we brought Angela home from the hospital. I dressed Angela in an outfit I bought for her. I remember the way she squealed, kicked her feet and smiled at me as I bathed her and dressed her and tickled her tiny body. I remember the way she grabbed onto my finger with her little hand still bruised from IV needles and the drawing of blood samples. I remember the way she looked right into my eyes as she tightly held my finger. I remembered the smile on her face and the trust in her eyes. I remembered the way she cooed and giggled and wouldn't let my finger go. She held me like she never wanted me to leave, her grip strong despite the fragile condition of her body. I remembered the love I felt for her. I remembered the way I promised her she didn't have to worry, I would never let her go, that I would always be there, that I would always take care of her. I remembered the way Jane looked at me when she walked into Angela's nursery and saw me playing with her baby. I remembered the surprise on her face and the way her expression melted into the sincerest appreciation and admiration. I remembered the way Jane didn't say a word. She just stood in the doorway watching us. I remembered the tear that rolled down Jane's face as I changed the bandage on Angela's neck without making her scream in pain. Jane never managed to be able to do it without hurting the baby. She tried twice but dissolved in tears when Angela would scream and kick when the tape was peeled away from her tender skin. But I could change her bandage without so much as Angela wincing in pain, my doctor's fingers working confidently but with only the gentlest touch. I remembered the moment Jane fell in love with me as I dabbed the ointment on Angela's scar and sang her softly to sleep.

I remembered carrying Angela to the park in my arms the entire way refusing to lay her in her stroller. I remember the way Jane wrapped her hand around my waist as we walked and smiled at me from time to time, kissing my forehead her eyes bright and happy and loving. I remembered the picnic Consuela packed for us. I remembered the butterfly that buzzed around Angela's head in the warmth of the spring sun and the way she laughed and tried to catch it with her little fingers. I remembered the way Jane laughed. I remembered smiling at Jane as she tried to impress me by juggling three apples Consuela packed for us. I remember the way she succeeded at first and the way Angela giggled when one of the apples fell on top of Jane's head making her moan, whine and curse. I remember rubbing Jane's head as she sulked in embarrassment and the smile she got when I kissed her lips. I remembered Jane convinced a stranger to take our picture and how happy I felt posing with Angela in my arms on the red and white checkered picnic blanket with our wicker picnic basket in the background and the smiles on all of our faces. I remembered thinking in that moment how all my dreams had come true. I remembered thinking Jane, Angela and I _were_ picture perfect. I remembered thinking how I would do anything and everything to protect them. And then I remembered thinking how Jane would do any and everything to protect me. I remembered brushing Angela's cheek and running my fingers through her silky dark curls so much like her mother's and whispering in her ear that she was my daughter too for the very first time.

I covered my mouth with my hand as I stared at the picture. My heart ached and felt heavy. That day at the park had been one of the best days of my life. That day Jane laughed, joked, and teased without a care in the world. That day there was no shadow of pain in her eyes. That day she was mine, she was happy, she was free. That day I fell in love with her deeper than I ever knew possible. I wanted every day to be just like that day. I promised Angela and I promised Jane I would always be there for them. But had I lied? Why had I sent them away? Why was I not with them? Had I turned my back on them? In my desperation to give Jane closure had I lost my way? Was my judgment clouded? Was I really doing the right thing, that which is best for my family? I shook my head.

The vision of Jane on her knees begging me with red tearful eyes to stay with her haunted me. I doubled over and had to extend my hand and grab my desk to keep myself from falling over. Remorse washed over me. The look in Jane's eyes distressed me. _I_ had done that, _I_ put that look there, _I_ opened those wounds. I was disgusted with myself. I closed my eyes tightly, my breath becoming shallow and choked. I had left Jane on the floor weeping and cold, scared to death and trembling in sorrow. I had left my daughter with a kiss on her giggling cheeks, too young to know what was happening but still she looked at me like she loved me. Like she knew I would come back. Like she trusted me when I said I'd never leave her. Angela had grabbed my finger again before I walked out the house. Her eyes bright and excited. I almost fell apart right then but my resolve and imprudence overcame me and I turned away from her and walked out the door into the darkness and the unknown.

I sat heavily in my chair. I folded my arms on my desk and lay down my head. I felt so numb. I felt like I had lost a part of myself, the best part of myself. I felt lost. What had I done?

"Maura," Detective Korsak's voice made me jump.

I sat up quickly and tried to brush the tears from my eyes before he could see them.

"Detective," I said in a shaky nervous voice.

I turned my head so he couldn't see my red eyes and running mascara. The detective was standing in my doorway dressed in his leather jacket and what were incredibly tight jeans… I didn't move for a while. He didn't speak. He just looked at me. He saw me and my tears. He saw my hurt. I leaned my elbows on my desk and bit my fist to keep from crying more. I couldn't stop thinking of Jane and Angela. I closed my eyes and shook my head. I was lost in some atrocious limbo between what I thought was right and where I knew I really wanted to be. Forward along this path I'd chosen led to a darkness unknown to me, a road no doubt to danger, but the hope of justice moved me to face the darkness and bring justice to those that deserved it. The road backward led back to Jane, my daughter, my son, and the life of love and family and devotion that was given to me and I swore to cherish and protect. But that road would not lead to justice for the victims. Turning back was a selfish path, yet moving forward was a selfish path. Either way someone would lose, some promise would be broken, some peace would not be found. I felt trapped. What was I to do?

Detective Korsak sighed. He moved into my office and sat in a chair in front of my desk. I slowly brought my eyes to his. His face was soft, his eyes sympathetic, his voice kind and understanding. I smiled at him but my lips trembled. Several more tears escaped my eyes. Detective Korsak had seen a part of me no one ever should, especially not a trusted colleague. Earlier this evening, he witnessed my family's deepest darkness, he saw Jane's pain. He knew what was driving me to succeed in this case. He knew what was haunting me to run away as far and as fast as I could. I felt like there were no more secrets between the older man and me. Only the truth was left. I could not meet his eyes. All I could think about was whom I'd left behind.

"I'm pulling you off this case, doc," Detective Korsak said firmly.

"_What_..I can still..." I started to protest but he cut me off.

"...I never should have allowed you to get involved this way. It's my fault. I put you in this position. Your girlfriend is right, you are not a detective. You don't belong anywhere near that gang..."

"...But _I_ opened the case. _I_ found the motorcycle jacket fiber, _I_ put the pieces together, _and I_ have to collect the evidence..."

"...**No** Doctor Isles!" Korsak's voice rose. His eyes blazed with fortitude and resolve. His lips thinned and his steady, penetrating gaze shut me up. He bowed his head.

"I'm an old man. I've been on the job 30 years. I've solved hundreds of cases, brought down bad guys no one else could touch. I'm a hero in the department. I've got a dresser full of medals and a wall full of plaques. I'm the detective all the young guys aspire to be one day. I'm damn good at my job and always have been. But you know what doc? When I go home, all I've got to greet me is a drawer full of dusty medals and a wall full of worthless plaques. I got cold pizza three days old in my fridge and not much else. I got no wife...I lost 'em all cause I cared more about those damn medals and plaques than my family. I got no kids cause I didn't have time, my job always came first. I got a cold bed and a cop's heart. They're gonna bury me with a medal around my neck. They're gonna salute and call me a hero. Boston's finest. A pillar of society. I'm gonna get a three gun salute, waiving red, white, and blue flags, and they're going to put me in the ground and say I served my city faithfully. I'll be forgotten after that. They'll hang my picture on the wall, but I'll be forgotten. There won't be a woman to cry for me, I got no kids to carry on after me. My family's name goes in the ground with me. Just me and my cold medals left to rot away." Detective Korsak said dejectedly.

I was speechless. The look on the man's face was one of hopelessness and of deep loneliness. I'd seen that look before. I'd seen it on my own face nearly all my life. I'd seen it on Jane's face the first time I laid eyes on her across the room at the bar in my hotel. I hadn't seen that look in weeks...since I fell in love with Jane and she in love with me. I'd forgotten how bitter and painful it was. I'd forgotten the despair, the grief, the feelings of worthlessness. My life had changed in an instant. My life was bursting at the seams with excitement, my heart was overwhelmed every moment of every day with the love I had for my lover and my child...children. My mind had no room for thoughts of pain as Jane and Angela consumed every space in the recesses of my thoughts. I no longer cared to hide myself from the world as I once had. I was no longer afraid of living or the living. I _wanted_ to live, I wanted to be with my family. I wanted to see the sun rise and set in the eyes of my child and my love. My name would carry on, my legacy would prevail. My accomplishments would be remembered. Seeing Korsak so gripped by a pain so familiar to me washed my heart with guilt over putting my job over my family, and sympathy for the man who had made the same mistake so many times before. I didn't want to be Detective Korsak. I admired the man. He was fearless, accomplished, intelligent, and wonderful at his job. But he was alone. I didn't want to be alone.

"Detective Korsak," I started but he interrupted me again.

"I want you to back off this case...I demand that you back off this case. It's _my_ case now. It was mine five years ago and I let the brass shove me off it. It's mine again now. I'll get you the evidence you need, but you aren't going anywhere near those people. If I die I'll die a hero, I'm leaving no one behind. You've got too much to live for. I saw the way Jane looked at you. She's falling apart, _you're_ falling apart. You can't even focus on the job, you're distracted. I won't let you make the same mistakes I did. Some things doc, are worth more than a million medals. Some things are more precious than a million guilty verdicts. You have that thing that's worth more than everything else," Korsak said. He sighed and hung his head even lower, "I envy you. I'm long past making up for my mistakes, but you can. I got nothing else. You're off the undercover investigation." He said with finality.

I sighed. I thought of everything he said. I considered his words carefully. Was it true that he envied me, despite that he'd only ever seen Jane in anger and or the deepest despair? What happened at my home between Jane and me right in front of Korsak was awful to the point of being frightening and heartbreaking. Yet still the man envied me. I was slow to speak.

"Detective...I promised her I would help solve this case, that I would bring her peace." I whispered. My eyes were desperate for understanding.

Detective Korsak smiled and nodded his head.

"You've done both those things already. You broke the case, I can take it from here. And you _have_ brought Jane peace, a peace she will only know with you by her side. If you turn away from her and something happens to you, you will have broken both of your promises. You owe it to her and yourself to back away. You're no good to me anyway, you can't stop thinking about her pretty little face and that adorable baby girl!" Detective Korsak joked.

I started to speak but closed my mouth quickly. I looked at the clock. It was after nine p.m. I wondered if the plane had taken off already. Detective Korsak noticed me glancing at the clock.

"GO!" Was all he said.

I hesitated. I looked at him and smiled sadly. I wanted to cheer him up. I wanted to give him kind words. I wanted to tell him thank you in so many ways, in every language I spoke. I wanted to tell him how much his sacrifice meant to me. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and cry on his shoulder and tell him he was a hero and he wouldn't be forgotten. I would never forget him. I felt my eyes leak tears. I swallowed the lump in my throat many times. I looked at him through sad but ever so grateful eyes.

"Detective Korsak..."

"GO!" He said again.

I stood and walked around my desk. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him as tightly as I could. I don't know what was happening to me but I cried on his shoulder like I hadn't cried in ages. I felt my body trembling and my heart bursting with love for the man and relief, mostly relief. Fear also. I was afraid for the man that was so bravely releasing me from the most pressing burden of my life and carrying the cross of justice into the fire on his own. I ached for his lonely heart, I ached for his selflessness, I ached over the guilt I felt in leaving him to do this alone, but I also ached for my family. Detective Korsak patted my back and shushed me softly. His deep voice made his chest rumble against my body and I cried all the harder.

"Go," He finally whispered to me pushing me away and smiling at me.

I wiped my tears and found it in me to smile back.

"Thank you," I whispered back.

"Go," He said again, he stood and walked toward the door.

"Detective Korsak," I called out to him before he was too far away.

He turned around slowly and cocked his head. His eyes were sparkling and sad. I smiled at him.

"You are always welcome at my family's table; you don't have to be alone." I said kindly.

Detective Korsak smiled.

"If I live through this...I'm gonna take you up on that offer," He chuckled and walked out the door.

I watched him go with a heavy heart, but I had no time to lose. I grabbed my purse and ran for the door. I had no time to change. I had to get to the plane. I had to get to Jane. I ran as fast as I could to my BMW since my Mercedes was locked up in the CSI lot. I searched my purse frantically for my cell phone and cursed when it wasn't in there.

"Dammit," I said slapping my steering wheel angrily.

I'd left my phone at my house. I needed to call the pilot and tell him to hold the plane. I contemplated running back inside to use my office phone, but I was only ten minutes away from the airstrip. I could make it...I could make it. I started my engine and sped away. I could make it.

"I'm coming Janie," I whispered softly to myself.

...

**Jane**

I pulled up in front of Maura's house and turned off the engine. My heart was racing. I couldn't believe what I'd just done. I couldn't believe how crazed I was. I felt hideous for leaving James in the street with no cell phone or even his luggage. I didn't have time to think. I had to do something and fast. I saw the opportunity to escape and I took it without even thinking. If I'd gone to the airstrip I never would have had the courage to leave. I'd have taken one look at Angela and fallen apart all over again unable to be separated from her. I detested leaving her. I sat silently in the car gripping the steering wheel tightly. I tried to calm my breath. I tried to keep my limbs from shaking. I tried to erase my guilt and my shame but the reality of my position was all too real. I had no choice right? Angela was safe with Consuela who'd never let anything happen to her. My baby had more people looking after her safety than I ever did growing up and even now Angela was far safer than me. I felt like I was being pulled in two different directions by two people that needed me desperately. My baby needed me, but so did Maura. If I left her behind I was terrified something would happen to her. Maura swore she was only trying to protect me and that she'd made me a promise she intended to keep. But hadn't I made the same promise? Hadn't I sworn to always have her back, to always stand by her side? Who was Maura to send me away? Angela was far safer in New York I understood that...but how could she send _me_ away? She needed me, and I needed her. I would not let her walk into this nightmare alone. I steeled my nerves. I got out of the car and ran up the front steps and into the house. It was still chaos in there. Mess was everywhere. No one had bothered to straighten anything up in the mania of leaving the house so suddenly and unceremoniously.

I ran up the stairs and started pulling off my clothes. I knew I didn't have long. Mine and James' absence would cause suspicion very soon and then those massive security guards would track me down and drag me back to the plane on Maura's orders. I felt like I had no means to fight her. I felt like James was right, Maura did what she wanted with me and everyone else. She actually thought she could be rid of me, that her money and contacts and that fucking plane were enough to keep me at bay. Maura might have the means, but I had the motivation. She might have a plane but in my mind I had a strategy. But most important, I was _not_ leaving her no matter what.

I tore through the drawers looking for clothes that might have been left. I found a little black skirt and an old white button down. That would have to do. I found a pair of my heels in the shoe closet and ran to the bathroom to change. I'd done this a million times before. I'd stood in front of a mirror and transformed myself into a lady of the night. I painted my face, curled my hair and slipped on a g string. I worked a pole for just enough money to feed my daughter. Before my 'profession' only brought me shame. But for some reason, as I stood painting my lips, I felt nothing but purpose and determination. I wasn't dancing for food, I was dancing for Maura. I just wanted to keep an eye on her. I wanted to be close to her. Maybe, just maybe, I could help her somehow and we could be finished with this nightmare and I could have my family back and whole again. I wouldn't get in her way. I wouldn't interfere. But I'll be damned if I was going to sit by a phone all night, scared to death, waiting for it to ring and give me bad news. I undid the bottom three buttons of my shirt and tied the ends in a knot just below my breasts. I rolled the waist of my skirt over to make it a few inches shorter. I slipped on the heels and stood back looking at myself in the mirror. I was stunned for a moment at my reflection. I looked like a painted whore again. All my feelings of worthlessness crept into my mind but I batted them down. I put my hands on my hips and forced a smile. This was the only way. I nodded my head at the woman in the mirror and smiled again. I could do this.

I looked at my watch and jumped. It was after nine p.m. I had to get moving. It was Sunday night. For most strip clubs it was amateur night. If I was lucky I could convince the club owner or manager to let me dance. No one would say no to me...no one _ever_ said no to me when I was dressed like this. This was a fact I was counting on. If I was lucky the guy in the jacket wouldn't be able to say no to me either. I just needed one hair off his head or one fingerprint. Dressed like this I might just be able to get close enough to get what Maura needed. She and Korsak could do the rest. But I could help...I _knew_ I could. I grabbed a light jacket from my closet and slipped James' Taser inside. I shook out my hair and ran down the stairs. I had to get out of the house. James was a resourceful man. He wouldn't be stranded for long. He'd find a way to get a hold of Maura and tell her what I was doing and then security would be on me in an instant. I had to move quickly. My heart pounded in my chest as I bounded down the stairs. I grabbed the car keys and was just about to reach for the door handle when the door flew open and James burst inside.

My heart stopped in my chest. My body froze. The adrenaline in my veins made me feel sick. James' eyes were wild. His chest was heaving and the veins in his neck and forearms were popping. I was terrified just looking at him. I gulped. James slammed the front door hard making the whole house shake. His dangerous eyes glared menacingly at me. I took a step back trembling slightly. How could he have gotten here so fast? He looked so _angry_. I was beyond panicky.

"J-James," I said stuttering nervously, "H-How did you get here?"

My voice was high yet croaky. I could hear James' teeth grinding in his head. I took another step back. He was sweating like crazy, his hair was wet and sticking to his forehead, his shirt was damp and sweat stained, his suit was rumpled and twisted oddly on his body, his shoes were dirty with mud, his hands were clenched in tight fists at his sides. I gulped again.

"You left me in the _street_!" He hissed at me. "You held a Taser to my _neck_! You _stole_ my cell phone!"

James was shouting at me now. I took another step back.

"Take it easy buddy, I just had to..."

"...To WHAT!" James roared.

His voice was so strong and powerful it echoed off the walls and all throughout the house. I shook with utter anxiety.

"Maura..." I choked. "I have to get to Maura."

I was pleading with him to understand. I needed him to calm down. He was terrifying to witness. Ihad not met this version of James_._ I backed up several more steps until I was pressed against the wall. James flew at me and snatched the car keys from my hand. He grabbed my jacket and found his cell phone and mine and the little taser.

"You're not going to trick me again!" He shouted slamming the taser on the floor and stomping on it so it shattered into a million pieces.

I jumped and flinched. What was going to happen now? He looked so _crazy_! Why didn't I get out of the house sooner? I gulped and tried to dash around him, but James was faster than me and motivated by his rage. He pocketed my cell phone and grabbed me roughly by the arm dragging me into the living room as I kicked and screamed. I cried out in pain and struggled as hard as I could. I felt my arm bruising under his grip but James seemed possessed and oblivious to my pain. I didn't know James could be so frightening. But James was twice my weight and ten times as strong as me. There was no breaking away from him. I was nothing more than a rag doll in his hands. He shoved me down on the couch and I sat quaking scared even to breathe. James glared down at me furiously.

"Where did you think you were _going_? Look at you! You're not a whore anymore Jane! Why are you dressed like one?" James thundered like a raging storm.

I held my bruised arm and whimpered softly. I couldn't look at him. I was furious and humiliated and terrified all at the same time.

"Maura needs my help..." I started, but James cut me off in a roaring rant.

"..._Maura_ made it very clear she doesn't want you involved in this! It's _my_ responsibility to get you on that plane! What do you think would happen to me if you showed up at that club to what..._strip_ for those maniacs? Are you so crazy that you are willing to take off your clothes and jiggle your tits in the faces of the men that killed your family? You think that would make this easier for Maura? Have you any idea _how_ crazy and furious Maura would be? With _me_? With _you_?" He thundered.

I shook my head and turned away from him. I wrapped my arms around a pillow and held it tightly to my chest. I felt so weary and tired. I'd tried so hard to get to Maura. I did everything I could think of. Everywhere I turned there was someone or something in my way. Why did no one understand? Why could no one see I just wanted to protect her? I just wanted to look out for her. I just wanted to be near her. I was _terrified_ for her. I was doing the only thing I knew to look out for her. Why could no one _see_?

"**Answer** me!" James fumed.

His voice was thick with malice. I closed my eyes and swallowed my tears.

"I love her James, I love her and I can't leave her," I whispered barely loud enough to be heard.

James sighed and shook his head. He started pacing around in front of me. His face was drawn but his expression had softened into disbelief and exhaustion instead of frightful rage.

"_Help_ me, James." I pleaded.

James stopped his pacing and looked down at me. I was still too afraid to move. He looked sympathetic but I knew he would not help me.

"You know I can't do that," he said sadly.

Misery consumed me. I rubbed my bruised arm.

"You _hurt_ me, James!" I exclaimed.

James looked miserable himself now. He sighed heavily and rubbed his temples.

"I'm really sorry about that. If you don't tell Maura about my indiscretion I won't tell her about yours. It wouldn't do either of us any good if she knew the truth of what happened tonight," James said sincerely.

I turned my head and felt my face start to burn with frustration and anger. But I nodded my head. I wouldn't get away from him I knew, and Maura had enough on her plate than to deal with me and James' insanity right now.

"Where are the keys to your Escalade and your wallet?" He asked firmly.

His voice was gentle but he was strict in his command.

"Kitchen counter and front desk," I said sadly.

James moved around the house pocketing my things. Tears streamed down my face. I thought of Maura in that awful club with those horrible people. I thought of my family those people took from me. I thought of the five years of horror I lived in darkness and pain before I met Maura. I thought of all the ways Maura had saved me. I thought of all the reasons I loved her more than life its self. I thought of a life without her if that gang took her from me. My chest felt like someone had kicked my heart and I wanted to fall apart all over again. But I barely had any tears left to cry and I was far too spent and exhausted to break down. It didn't matter anyway. I had no choice but to do as I was told and I hated my life and myself all the more for it. James came back to stand before me.

"I'm going to call my wife and tell her what happened. I'll tell her we got a flat tire or something and that's why we're running late. You go upstairs and change. I don't want anyone seeing you like this. We're getting on that plane and going back to New York and we're going to pretend like this never happened," James said eyeing me with a look that brokered no argument.

I wanted to cry. But I just nodded my head. What choice did I have? I had no money, no keys, no options; all of those things were given to me by Maura and even though she wasn't here, she'd taken them away just as easily; all to protect me. I didn't feel protected though, I felt...everything and nothing. I wiped my eyes and sighed. I stood and walked up the stairs, each step harder than the last. I leaned heavily on the railing to keep my weary body from falling over. I was exhausted and spent. I'd given everything I had, pleaded for dear life, cried from the depths of my soul, done all I could and still I was being sent packing. I walked back into Maura's and my bedroom and slammed the door as hard as I could and locked it. I sat on the floor and held my head in my hands. The realization that I wasn't going to get to Maura tore at me. I hung my head in defeat. I heard James talking on the phone downstairs. I leaned my head against the bedroom door and gazed out the window. I was just about to start crying when I remembered something that shot me to my feet in half a second.

I'd locked myself out of the house once before and shimmied up the columns outside and onto the balcony of the bedroom because I couldn't stand to call Maura and hear her lecture me on my irresponsibility. I smiled to myself. When one door closes, another one opens. There was always a way. I was always good at climbing. I climbed trees all through my childhood higher and faster than both my brothers. I smiled. I slipped the spare key to my Escalade from my nightstand drawer and crept out the balcony door closing it softly behind me. It was terrifying inching my way down the column in a skirt and heels. It took me nearly three minutes to navigate my way to the ground but when I did I took off running through the back yard. I slipped into my Escalade and started the car. I started backing up when James burst out the front door. I slammed my foot on the gas and tore onto the street. James was running at me full force. He was gaining on me. My heart was racing and my hands were sweaty. I was frantic. I put the car in drive and sped away just as James reached the passenger side door. I didn't stop at the stop sign at the end of the street. I blew right through it.

"_1532 Cavalier Blvd_," I remembered in my head.

"_I'm coming little angel!_" I said breathlessly.


	27. Broken

**A/N: **

**TRIGGER WARNING. EXTREME VIOLENCE, SEXUAL ASSAULT!**

**Mmmmkay if you've got the guts read it, if not run away now. Don't say I didn't warn you. It's not going to stay dark forever, but this chapter is not for the faint of heart. Feel free to review. You will be mad at the end of this, FAIR WARNING! And all that being said...here we go!**

...

**Maura**

Gerald Ingles noticed my car pull into the hanger first. He looked at me and frowned slightly. Consuela, Gerald, Arthur, and Molly were huddled in a circle on the side of the plane chatting animatedly with one another. Consuela had Angela in her arms and Molly was holding her infant daughter. I imagined the boys were already on the plane. Everyone started noticing I had arrived and I saw eyes widen and faces go pale. Where was Jane? And James? Were they already on the plane? Somehow I thought not. Something was amiss. Sickness settled in my stomach. Why was everyone so nervous? I unbuttoned my seatbelt and sprang from my car walking swiftly toward the gathering. Everyone stared at me incredulously. I looked down at myself. I forgot I was dressed in biker gear and my face was painted up like a two dollar hussy and cheap fake tattoos adorned my body. I brushed off the looks. I knew I was a sight. I also knew I didn't see Jane...or James. Where were they? Why was everyone not on the plane? Why had the engines not even started? What was going on?

"Dr. Isles, we weren't expecting you to join us this evening," Gerald Ingles said approaching me with a forced smile.

I walked right up to him. "Where is Jane? Where's my girlfriend?" I asked the only question I cared to know the answer too.

Gerald sighed.

"We haven't been able to get a hold of Jane, or James. We lost them at a stop light and haven't seen them since. We thought they would catch up but it's been almost thirty minutes and they haven't called or arrived." Gerald informed me, though his face was slightly pinched in worry.

I felt my heart drop right out of my body. I took two steps back and looked at Gerald like I couldn't believe he had the nerve to say what he just said and wasn't doing anything to fix this situation. Gerald fidgeted and looked nervous under my gaze.

"I'm sure it's nothing ma'am perhaps they got a flat tire," Gerald tried to reassure me.

I closed my eyes and shook my head. I knew it wasn't a flat tire. I knew something was wrong. I knew it deep in my soul.

"Why didn't you keep a closer eye on Jane? I _told_ you to watch her; I _told_ you she was extremely fragile. I _told_ you she might do something silly and try to run away from you. Why didn't you do as I asked?" I spat at the man hatefully.

Gerald Ingles was three times my size; he towered over me like a giant. But under my barrage he shrunk into himself and his face looked pained and guilty.

"In her condition, we deemed her incapable of taking a self-imposed risk. Mr. Licton insisted he drive her himself, assuring me he would get her safely to the plane. I had no reason to think..."

"...I'm not _paying_ you to _think_. I'm paying you to _follow_-_my_-_orders_. I'm paying you to keep my family _safe_!" I growled in frustration.

Gerald hung his head and scratched the back of his neck.

"Yes ma'am," Was all he could find to say in his defense.

My mind was a whirlwind of thoughts, none of them good. I knew Jane. She'd proven to me already there was nothing she wouldn't do to get to me. She'd said with her own mouth she'd follow me to that club if she had half the chance. Dread enveloped me. What was going on?

"Have you called her or James?" I asked, my voice was soft but laced with contempt.

It was taking all I had not to rage. I couldn't afford to lose my temper right now. I just needed to think. Gerald seemed hesitant to answer. Impatience overpowered my best efforts to remain calm.

"WELL!" I spat at him.

Gerald sighed and frowned nervously.

"They aren't answering, either of them." He said looking away from me.

I knew my face was twisted in rage. I cursed to myself and gritted my teeth. I was about to start berating him again when Molly's cell phone rang. I looked around Gerald's hulking body as Molly exclaimed...

"...It's James," before answering her phone.

I glared at Gerald before rushing over to Molly. Angela squealed when she saw me and wiggled in Consuela's arms to be released to me. My heart melted when I saw my daughter's pretty smiling face. I pulled her into my arms and kissed the scar at the base of her neck. Angela wrapped her arms around my neck and leaned her head on my shoulder. She was sleepy I could tell. It was past her bed time and she was exhausted from the excitement of the day. I patted her back and whispered to her to be still and go to sleep. I felt her sigh against my neck and wrap her fingers in my hair like she always did when she fell asleep in my arms. I closed my eyes and shushed her softly, hoping she would fade away to sleep and when she awakened her world would be restored and her mother would be safe in my arms where she belonged. Consuela gave me a nervous smile. I had no strength for smiles. I was beside myself with apprehension and uneasiness. Where was Jane? What had she done?

"Hello?" Molly answered her phone nervously.

I could hear James' voice on the line, he sounded a bit frantic.

"A flat tire?" Molly said her voice high and disbelieving.

I snatched the phone from her hands.

"James," I said as gently as I could.

I couldn't yell with Angela in my arms.

"Dr. Isles?" James' voice became immediately panicked now that I was on the line.

"What's going on James," I said threateningly.

"We, well...flat tire...had to pull over..." James started.

I gritted my teeth. Who did James think he was trying to deceive? He'd been my attorney almost ten years; I knew when he was lying...he never _dared_ lie to me before. But he certainly was lying now.

"...What's going ON James?" I cut him off.

I knew he could tell by the tone of my voice that I wasn't playing games and I knew he was full of shit. I heard him sigh.

"Jane...forgot something at the house. We had to come back to get it...we'll be there as soon as we can I promise." He tried to sound as honest as he could but I still knew better.

"Why weren't you two answering your phones?" I pushed him.

James stuttered and stumbled over his words.

"I...we...our batteries were dead..."

"...you have a car charger and so does Jane," I said cutting off the lie before he completed it.

James' voice was becoming more and more upset and frantic.

"We'll be there as soon as we can...Jane's just changing upstairs and we're on our way."

"_Why_ is she changing? _What's_ going on?" I said my voice rising.

Angela whimpered in my arms. I forced myself to calm down though my heart was beating a mile a minute. James sighed. I heard him growl in frustration.

"She got away from me Maura. She held my own Taser to my neck and forced me out the car. She left me in the _street_! I had to run five blocks to the rental car we left at the restaurant earlier. Thank God I remembered I still had the key. I sped back to your house like a maniac. I'm surprised I didn't get pulled over. Jane was already here. She's all dressed up like...like a _stripper_ or something Maura! She thinks you're at that strip club...wait...why _aren't_ you at that strip club?"

My jaw was hanging open. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Then again...yes I could. Hadn't Jane already proved to me she was willing to do everything she could to keep an eye on me? What was she thinking? Was she planning on going to the strip club to what...spy on me some more? This was insane but thank goodness James got to her in time to stop her from making a huge mistake. I couldn't stand the thought of Jane undressing and debasing herself for the amusement of the very men who'd conspired and killed her family. I was furious and frustrated with Jane, but I breathed a sigh of relief that at least she was safe and I could protect her again, the right way. These last 24 hours had been extremely hard on our relationship. I shuddered at the work it was going to take to repair so much damaged faith and hurt feelings. Jane was far more damaged from her past and in her heart than I realized. In my joy to truly care for her, and my zest to show her how much I loved her, I had overlooked the actual help and protection Jane may really need to get better. I made a mistake that could cost me everything. I closed my eyes and shook my head. Consuela pulled Angela from my arms and carried her onto the plane. She could tell I was dangerously close to exploding.

"I was pulled off the case. Detective Korsak is going to collect the evidence for me. I'm going to help as much as I can behind the scenes but the undercover operation lies with him. Let me speak to Jane, James," I said in an unsteady but demanding voice.

"OH Thank GOD! I'm so glad to hear you say that. Let me go get Jane...I could sure use your help with her. She's impossible to reason with sometimes. She needs to hear it from you that you finally found your senses; she's right upstairs." James said excitedly.

I just sighed. I didn't feel like arguing with him. Everything he said was true anyway, no use denying it. I'd made mistakes, but I was woman enough to admit them. I waited patiently for James to hand Jane the phone. I couldn't wait to hear her voice. I couldn't wait to tell her I loved her. I couldn't wait to have her in my arms again. I couldn't wait to tell her how she _was_ the most important thing in my life. I couldn't wait to kiss her pain and help her come to terms with what happened to her family and between us this past 24 hours. I thought the best way to help Jane was by solving the case, but I was wrong. I'd only made everything so much worse by getting as close to it as I did. I realized that now. It must have been horrible for Jane to look at me and know I was planning on infiltrating the same gang that killed her family. What terror must I have caused her? For her, looking at me must have been looking right at her pain, directly into the face of the shadow of death. For her knowing I was walking into the gang was paramount to me walking out of her life completely. Guiltiness overwhelmed me. I sighed impatiently waiting for James to find Jane. Finally James spoke again.

"Ok here we go... OH MY GOD!" James blurted out before he could stop himself.

My heart started racing twice as fast. I could hear how James' voice had changed into hysterical panic. I clenched my fist and my jaw.

"What's going on NOW?" I screeched.

"Hold on," James screamed into the phone.

I heard a loud clatter. It sounded like James had dropped the phone. I heard him screaming Jane's name before his voice faded away. Terror seized me. I cursed loudly. Everyone around me stared wide eyed and curious. Molly looked terrified. I ran toward my car and climbed inside starting the engine before even putting on my seatbelt. Gerald Ingles slid into the passenger seat. He said nothing, he just sat there waiting on me to drive or scream or give him further instructions. Molly looked like she wanted to cry. She ran to my window and started pleading for information. She looked as desperate and hysterical as I felt. I didn't bother saying anything to her. I didn't have time for coddling or explanation. I forgot I was still using her phone. Everything in my being was screaming to get to the house and Jane as quickly as possible. Something was wrong. I heard it in James' voice. I put the car in drive and sped out the hanger in a fog of smoking tires. I drove like a woman possessed. I had the sickest feeling I knew why James had dropped the phone and ran away. He was running after Jane. Jane who was dressed like a stripper. Jane who was going to 1532 Cavalier Blvd. I knew it before James picked the line back up gasping and sputtering for breath.

"She...she's _gone_!" He exclaimed.

I felt tears run from my eyes.

"Where _are_ you?" James demanded between heaving breaths.

"I'm going to stop her. I know where she's going. I'm off the case, but she doesn't know James...I'm not even going undercover but Jane's still going to that club." I wailed.

James sighed. I heard him starting a car engine.

"I knowMaura, I'll get there faster than you. I'll stop her if I can." James assured me.

"Why won't she answer her _phone_," I cried.

I heard James whimper.

"I have her phone. I didn't trust her not to call a cab and sneak away...I didn't know she was going to climb down the second story balcony like a fucking monkey and had a spare key to her Escalade!" James exclaimed.

"She climbed down the balcony..._upstairs_?" I screeched.

I heard James cursing under his breath.

"Yeah...she _did_! She's _crazy_ and you know what Maura, so the hell are you! This whole thing is crazy. You should have _never_ gotten involved in this mess. Jane's...she's not all there sometimes. She needs help or something. She's all fucked up about her family and you're all she's got. What were you _thinking_ trying to get involved with the same people that murdered her family? Did you stop to think how that might affect her? She loves you Maura. You want to run around engaging in danger when you've got a damaged girlfriend and a baby barely out of the hospital and a nephew to take custody of. You just walked out the door and left her on the floor in the state she was in and left everyone else to deal with her. ! I sat back and I let you take the lead but this has gone on long enough. This is _your_ mess..._you_ created this monster and now we're both running around town trying to stop your crazy ass girlfriend from making a huge mistake that could get her killed." James screamed at me.

I was shocked by his tone. I'd never been spoken to like that before except by Jane when she was furious with me. James had always done as I asked, always respected my authority, always been on my side. But he was berating me and cursing at me and screaming like a maniac. His words cut me. I felt them in my heart and in my soul. I didn't know how to defend myself. I didn't know what to say. I thought I was doing the right thing but in my desperation I'd brought out the worst in myself and Jane. I'd neglected her, deceived her, pushed her away, and abandoned her when she needed me the most. I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"James..." I started.

I had to pause to keep my tears at bay.

"_What_ Maura?" James sighed heavily on the line. He sounded beyond exhausted.

"Get there as fast as you can. I'm calling Detective Frost to put out an APB for her license plate. Detective Korsak isn't carrying his cell phone. If you find her, do everything you can to stop her," I pleaded with him.

"I've _been_ doing that all along, why haven't _you_?" James spat at me maliciously before the phone went dead.

I felt myself breaking inside again. We pulled up to a stop light and I tried to dial Detective Frosts' phone number but my eyes were blurry with tears and my fingers were shaking uncontrollably. I tried to settle myself, I tried to think, I tried to gain control but everything escaped me. I was crippled with fear. My girlfriend needed me more than she ever had before and I was failing her...again. How could I have let it come to this? I dropped the phone from my trembling hands and covered my mouth with my fingers. I choked on a million sobs and all the anguish in my heart. I was breaking. I was falling apart. I was losing control of everything.

Gerald said nothing; he just put the car in park and looked at me. I looked back at him. I don't know what expression was on my face but I could see his expression become soft and sympathetic. He unbuckled his seat belt and got out of the car closing the door behind him and walking around the car. I just slid into the passenger seat and tried to wipe at my tears. Gerald climbed into the driver's seat and buckled his seatbelt again.

"Don't worry, we'll get to her." Was all he said before we sped away.

**...**

**Jane**

I could still hear the music blaring in the dark, unflattering dressing room in the back of the club. The bass thumped in my chest to match the rhythm of the thumping of my heart. I was the only girl in the dressing room. The other 'ladies' were elsewhere, drinking at the bar or dancing on stage or giving private lap dances. I didn't want to drink. I had to be sober. I had to find Maura.

When I walked into the club every eye turned to look at me. The other dancers looked spiteful, the men looked, well I knew what those looks meant. I knew what they were thinking. Those looks always disgusted me, but in the past I found comfort in them. They meant money, they meant food for my child, they meant survival. Tonight those looks meant so much more than just money, but they still meant survival. Survival for the woman I loved. Maura promised me long ago that I'd never have to do this again. That I'd never have to take off my clothes for men for money. She told me she'd take care of me. For all intents and purposes she had done just that. She gave me everything, far more than closets full of name brands, far more than comfort and security, far more than a lavish lifestyle still beyond my comprehension. She gave me hope. She gave me love. She gave me peace. She gave me everything. Even with all she had given me already, she was still desperate to give me more. She was trying to give me justice for my family, but she didn't understand how little that meant to me compared to the thought of losing her too. I owed her my life, my happiness was because of her, depended on her. Yes she promised me justice for my family, but I'd made promises too, my conviction would not be swayed. I would stand by her side even if it meant debasing myself in the lowest way possible, I would not leave her alone.

I walked into the club as confidently as possible my eyes hid my nervousness but they searched desperately for Maura. I couldn't find her. The swagger of my stride set eyes on fire and imaginations ran wild. I brushed off three requests for private dances from groping drunken men before I even found the manager. It hadn't taken much convincing to get the manager to let me dance. The manager, a slender stick of a man with rotten teeth and a greasy beard, took one look at me in my costume and his eyes lit up with lust and dollar signs. With a flash of my smile and the wink of my eye I was now the one every man wanted to see tonight. It made me feel cold and disgusting, but I had no choice. I was doing this for Maura. The manager ushered me to the back immediately, saying he wanted to keep me under wraps until it was my turn to dance. I didn't get to look around for Maura or Korsak. The club was extremely crowded, but eyes followed me all the way through the club until I disappeared out of sight.

I wasn't surprised at the looks, I wasn't surprised by the whispers, I wasn't surprised when all the ladies cleared the dressing room when I walked inside. They hated me, I looked like sex and money and so they hated me. I could not take it personally. I knew the drill. There was no kindness to be had here. I'd navigated places like this for five long, horrible years and I'd survived...just barely. I knew what was expected of me and what to expect from others. Maura knew nothing about this. She had no idea what she was getting herself into. She didn't know how to speak to these types of people. She had no idea what she was doing. She was here alone, with that old detective, playing a role she had no idea how to play. I had played this game for years, but Maura would make a mistake. She would be caught. She would give herself away and then...God only knows. She needed my help whether she wanted to admit it or not.

I hadn't been there to protect my brother or my family. Tommy was a street wise kid and still he had failed in this very club. Tommy and I used to be as thick as thieves. We told each other everything. He was my greatest friend, my ally, my confidant. But I moved to New York, I left him behind, I left him alone. Still he encouraged me more than anyone else to chase my dreams. To become the detective I'd always dreamed of being. He believed in me, and I loved him for it. But now I felt only pain. I felt only misery and grief. I left him behind, absent my counsel, absent my protection. Had I been with him maybe I could have stopped him from making so many mistakes. Maybe I could have seen what was coming. Maybe I could have protected him. But I was selfish in my ambitions and left him with no one to turn to in his darkest hour...now he was gone. He and my entire family. The thought haunted me. I'd lost too much already. I could not lose Maura too.

Maura could dress this up as pretty as she wanted. She could claim she had it under control. She could claim she had police protection. But what good was that protection for my brother? What good was that protection for the undercover officer that also lost his life? How was I to leave Maura in the hands of an over the hill detective that had long since seen his prime? Korsak didn't know Maura. He might have had the purest of intentions...but he didn't _know_ her like _I_ knew her. He didn't know how to guide her conversation, he didn't know how to filter for her, he didn't know how to quiet her with a look or encourage her with a smile. It was his idea to bring her to this place; he didn't know her at all. She _needed_ me, they _both_ needed me. I had no other choice. I wouldn't lose her to these horrible, awful, dirty people. I couldn't _stand_ the idea of Maura in this place. My beautiful Maura that couldn't even ride a bike or tell a lie. What did she know of anything besides nanny's, French boarding schools, Ivy league colleges, fine dining, top floor apartments, and designer everything? Maura even bought her whores from the most elite escort agency in the country. She'd never so much as set foot in a strip club before. How _could_ she fit in? What was she even thinking? It made me sick. Worse, I couldn't _stand_ the idea of her being anywhere near the person or people that killed my brothers and my mother. I couldn't stand the idea that they may take her from me too. I sighed and closed my eyes.

I thought of Angela. I thought of how my baby might have ended up just like me, working a pole for money if it weren't for Maura and all the opportunities Maura showered on her. Angela would never have to do this just to survive, she would never know of places like this, she would never associate with people like this. Angela was a princess in Maura's eyes. There was nothing Angela couldn't have. My child had the best of everything from the shoes on her feet, to the pillows she laid her head, to the bag that carried her diapers, and I loved Maura even more for it. All my misery, all my drunken drug induced sexual escapades, all my time spent on a pole just to feed my child seemed almost like distant memories. The tears I cried, the longing to provide more and be better for my baby still haunted me, but it was more the fear of losing the one that had saved me that drove me to so desperately save her also. Maura changed everything, my knight in shining armor, my love, my angel. Maura was too good for this place, she was too good to die here amongst these people. She deserved better. I folded my hands in my lap and stared down at my bare knees. We just had to survive the night...then maybe just _maybe_ Maura could get what she needed and bring this club to its knees.

I was pulled from my thoughts when a man entered the dressing room. He was young, maybe a few years younger than me. He saw me sitting in front of the mirror and smiled. He had a pretty smile. He was small, maybe five feet four inches and skinny as a stick. He was clean shaven and nicely dressed. He looked sweet and his smile was friendly and warm. He walked toward me his bright blue eyes shining. He reminded me of Albert for some reason. I turned around to face him. I studied him as he walked. He looked awkward and out of place. Like he didn't really belong in a hell hole like this. I grew curious.

"Do you work here?" I asked curiously.

The pretty man took a seat next to me and crossed his legs as he faced me. I noticed his nails were manicured and his hair was long and probably flat ironed. Not a strand was out of place. He sat straight and cocked his head as he looked me over.

"I'm Henry. My brother's friend owns this place. I'm like the janitor, or the bus boy, or the dishwasher, or a cook sometimes, and I help the girls dress and stuff. I heard there was a pretty new girl here tonight. All those guys out there are talking about you. I had to meet you myself." The boy said extending his hand toward me.

I hesitated, but I shook his hand anyway.

"I'm...I'm Emily. It's nice to meet you, Henry." I smiled kindly.

Henry's blue eyes sparkled.

"You don't seem like a stripper or a whore!" He said looking me over again.

"Who said I was a whore?" I spat at him.

Henry rolled his eyes but kept smiling.

"Your pimp is here. He told me to give you this." Henry said holding out a pretty glittering locket with a little crystal stone in the center. "He said it was your good luck charm,"

I was floored. What the hell was he talking about? Who was saying they were my pimp? Who was out there? Why were they sending me gifts? What was going on? I took the locket and studied it. It was cheap costume jewelry, but it had to have some significance right? It didn't seem spectacular in anyway. It was oddly heavy though. I noticed Henry studying me. I pulled the locket over my head and shrugged my shoulders. I had no idea what was going on but I decided to go with it. Someone knew I was here. James maybe. Or Korsak and Maura. What were they trying to tell me with the locket?

"Yeah um...thanks I forgot it." I said casually.

I couldn't appear to be bewildered. Henry picked up on my nervousness though. He laid a hand on my knee and smiled.

"Don't worry...I don't judge you. I don't judge anybody. I got no right to judge. I've seen lots of girls come in here and do all kinds of stuff for money. Most of them are on drugs, or they get on drugs when they get here. You don't seem like the drugs kinda girl though, you seem...smart!" Henry eyed me sideways.

I didn't know what to say. Not many people ever called me smart, especially when I was dressed up the way I was. I shrugged my shoulders.

"I don't do drugs, I just gotta make ends meet." I said casually.

Henry nodded his head.

"I understand. I don't think this is the right place for you though honey. This club...it aint what it seems. There's shit that goes on here...shit you don't want to get involved in. You really do seem smart. You should get the hell outta here. The stuff that goes on here...you've attracted a lot of attention to yourself. This place aint for you." Henry said, his eyes nervous and bright.

I looked at him curiously. What did he mean? What was he talking about? Whose attention had I attracted? What went on in this place? I grew nervous, but I couldn't let on. I couldn't seem afraid or weak, and I certainly couldn't leave. Maura was out there somewhere. If what Henry said was true, I sure as hell wasn't leaving her now.

"I can handle myself," I said confidently.

Henry just sighed.

"The guys here...they aren't normal strip club patrons. My brother he...he aint the best kinda guy. You don't want to get mixed up with him; I'll look out for you as best I can, but stay away from him." Henry said kindly his big blue eyes sparkling.

I smiled.

"Who's you brother?" I asked.

Henry rolled his eyes.

"You'll see him. You can't miss him. He's the biggest one out there in the blue motorcycle jacket. He's an ass. He's gonna love you though, you're just his type. But don't let him take you outta this place," Henry warned me.

His eyes grew wide and earnest. He leaned in close and fixed me with a level gaze.

"He ain't a good person. He's just got back in town and he's been drinking all night, and the drugs." Henry sighed and looked extremely sad for a moment.

I noticed he was wearing long sleeves despite the heat in the club. I thought I noticed the remnants of a black eye under foundation on his face. His lip looked a bit swollen too. I frowned. Who had beaten this man? Henry saw me studying his injuries. He tried to turn his head but there was no hiding it now. I knew what I saw. Henry looked ashamed. He hung his head.

"He gets..._crazy_! _Don't_ leave with him! The guy with the blue leather jacket...remember that." Henry whispered softly.

I nodded my head growing nervous. A blue motorcycle jacket? Like the one Maura and Korsak were looking for? I felt my heart pounding in my chest. Was I sitting next to the brother of my family's killer? I tasted vomit in my throat. I felt my face go pale and my palms begin to sweat. A woman poked her head in the dressing room.

"You're up honey," She said winking at me.

I smiled nervously. I didn't speak. I was scared vomit would come out instead of words. I rose on trembling legs. Henry stood with me.

"Don't worry so much. At least your pimp cares enough to show up and watch out for you. He's a big guy too. You'll be ok, just don't leave with my brother," Henry said leading me toward the door.

I still couldn't speak. I was terrified. I let Henry lead me down the dingy hallway toward the stage, the blaring music growing louder and louder in my ear. I took deep breaths to steady myself. I could do this. I was doing this for Maura. I had to keep her safe. I had to watch out for her. I was doing this for Maura. I was just about to walk up the steps to the stage when a strong arm caught me from behind and spun me around. All I saw was the blue motorcycle jacket. My heart dropped to my feet. The jacket was just like the one I'd seen Detective Korsak wearing. Dread flooded me. I looked up into the eyes of the man that very likely had killed my family. He had cold, dead grey eyes. His long hair was pulled back in a pony tail, he was tall and thick of neck, his body was corded with muscles. He towered over me like a beast. His eyes scoured me emanating the vilest lust. His undisciplined demeanor and overbearing nature sickened me. I felt like an ant compared to this man. I felt dirty, the way he stared at me, the way his eyes lingered on my breasts and my bare stomach and my legs, it sickened me. I felt weak and vulnerable. I was trapped backstage with this awful man and his slight frail brother who couldn't hurt a fly. I was terrified, but I swallowed my fear. I was here and I could not run. This was it. This was the man that had stolen my family from me and broken my heart and my spirit for five long years. This is why I was here. To protect what was left of my family from this awful, smelly, horrible beast of a man.

"Well there sugar. Ain't you a sweet little thing," The man said wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me into his body.

I was crushed against him. The stink of the alcohol on his breath made me choke. His body was sweaty and his beard scratched my face. I felt a lump in his pants press into my stomach. Bile rose in my throat. My stomach turned and my skin crawled. I could feel his hands roaming my back and his hips press into mine. He disgusted me, but here I was, so close. I fought down my fear and forced my mind to think. I had to play the game. I had a job to do. I was as close to the man as Maura wished she could be. I just needed a hair sample or a finger print. That's what Maura said right? I had to play the game.

"You're a big strong man," I said in a high stupid voice that drove men crazy.

The man sneered and grumbled deep in his throat.

"I've never seen you before," The man said in his deep bass voice running his hands down my body. "Why don't you let me introduce myself back at my place. I'll show you just how big and strong I am,"

The man's eyes were laced with bad intentions.

"Jo, she's gotta dance. Leave her alone it's her first night." Henry said next to me.

Jo sneered at his brother and shoved him roughly. Henry went flying. He stumbled and lost his balance and his neck slammed against the back of the stage. A horrible choked sound escaped him as he fell to the ground groaning in pain.

"Take your little sissy dick and get the fuck back to work," Jo growled at his brother hatefully.

The violence in the man's eyes terrified me but he held me firmly against his body. Henry rolled on the floor whimpering and sobbing softly. I wanted to run to his aid, but I couldn't break free. Jo turned back to me.

"Don't mind my brother. He's a faggot, he don't know about being a man. Not like me." Jo said with a sickening smile.

I felt his giant hands travel down my body and grab my ass tightly. I shuddered and gasped.

"Get off me..." I said pushing at Jo's huge barrel of a chest but the giant man wouldn't budge.

Jo laughed and spun me around slamming my body against the wall and knocking the wind out of me. My head spun and my chest heaved to try and fill my lungs with oxygen again. Jo pushed his body into mine and pressed me against the wall so I couldn't move.

"You're a feisty little whore," Jo said nipping at my neck. "That's good, I love a screamer,"

I was overcome with terror and disgust. I flailed my arms and pushed at the huge man. I almost got away but Jo grabbed the necklace around my neck and yanked it off my body before I was free of him. My head snapped back violently and the necklace broke and went scattering across the cold dirty floor. I cried out and grabbed at my throat, I felt a searing pain and choked as if my windpipe had gotten bruised in the assault. I heard Jo laughing. He pushed me against the wall again, this time locking me firmly with his hips. Terrified I lashed out at him.

"If you don't let me go my girlfriend will _kill_ you," I gasped in a trembling voice before I thought better of it.

The words just flew out of my mouth. But for some reason I had no doubt they were true. Maura was overprotective to a fault with the power of her money and her name behind her. I'd seen her in the most trembling of fury and always over me. If she even knew I was here she would be furious, if she knew this man was touching me and hurting me...I shuddered at the thought.

Jo snarled at me. His face amused but evil and gross.

"Oh, so you're a little lezzy cunt? I fucking hate faggots and gays." He spat at me.

His spittle showered my face and his breath sickened me.

"Let me **GO**!" I screamed at him struggling harder.

Jo just sneered.

"You just aint had a real man fill you up." He laughed in my face. "Don't worry, I'll fix that for ya,"

He buried his face in my hair and sniffed, his beard scourged my soft skin, his stink filling my nose, his sweat dripping on my clean washed body. I trembled in fear and horror and loathsome disgust. I was pressed against the wall so hard it was difficult to draw breath. Jo's face was right against mine. His tongue slid over my skin at my neck and I sobbed furiously at the violation. He grumbled in lust and excitement. I felt him groping at my breasts. I felt my skin crawl again, I felt tears in my eyes, the humiliation was crippling. I was terrified, _horrified_. I struggled as best I could but I was just no match for the man. He pressed himself into me harder, the lump in his pants mashing against my body repulsively. I willed myself not to cry but it was growing harder and harder each second I was trapped backstage with this monster that had killed my family, incapacitated his own brother, and now had his eyes set on me.

I felt his hands slide up my inner thigh between my legs. I struggled wildly. My legs trembled in my effort to break away. I cursed and screamed but Jo placed his giant hand over my mouth nearly suffocating me. I wiggled and squirmed but I just couldn't budge the man. His dead eyes were wild with excitement. I was more scared than I'd ever been in my entire life. Jo wrapped his free hand around my throat and bit my earlobe. I screamed in pain and terror but my voice was muffled by his hand.

"I saw you walk in here tonight, with those long sexy legs. I've been thinking about you ever since." He growled in my ear.

I felt his tongue circle my ear. I thought I might vomit from terror and fear. Anxiety and adrenaline sent my heart pumping and my lungs heaving for breath. My eyes were wide and wild with disbelief. How could this be happening?

"Me and my boys own this place. I've been gone a while and this is my welcome back party. After everything I've done for this club I deserve a reward and that's you sweet cheeks! I get anything I want tonight and I want you. I'm gonna wrap those long legs around my body and fuck you like the little whore you are,"

Jo's voice was thick and menacing. He dripped sticky sweat all over me. The smell of alcohol pouring off of him made me dizzy. I became lightheaded and disoriented from lack of oxygen. I felt only crippling terror. I'd made a terrible mistake. This man was far more dangerous and awful than I could have imagined. I hadn't even made it on stage before he attacked me. How could Maura help me now? How could Korsak help me now? What was I going to do? I couldn't move and even if I could scream no one would hear me back stage over the blare of the music and the chaos in the club. I was alone. Alone with the man that killed my family. I lost all confidence in myself. I lost all confidence in everything. I should have listened to Maura. I should have stayed away. I should have gotten on that plane. I should have trusted her. Now I very well might not survive the night.

I closed my eyes and prayed to God from the depths of my soul to save me. No one else could hear me except maybe God. If there _was_ a God did he not see my pain? Had he not watched me suffer for five long years? Was there no mercy to be had for me? Was this how my story ended, raped by the man that had stolen my family? Perhaps it was appropriate. This man had taken everything else I held dear, fill my heart with grief and despair. It was fitting he take my body too and my life along with it and relieve me of the horror and torment he'd inflicted on me for years and years. Should this man take me and rape me and violate what I'd promised to give only to Maura, I'd just rather die afterward. The humiliation and shame were too much to bare. I was so afraid.

"When I'm done with you, I'm going to find that sweet little girlfriend of yours and fuck her too," Jo said, his cold eyes laced with malice.

Jo's laughter taunted me. My hatred for him doubled and tripled each passing second. He could _not_, have Maura. Maura was mine! The thought of this man's hand on her body sent my mind wild with dizzying rage. I wanted to kill him. I wanted to rip out his eyes. I wanted to torment his body and torture his soul like he did mine when he stole my family. I wanted to scourge him and break him and hear him scream. All my fury was boiling to unprecedented heights but the fact that I was helpless, hopeless, trapped, and being sexually assaulted by this man tore at my mind and my soul making me crazed with desire to just get away. Jo's laughter taunted my efforts to break free. He grinned wickedly at my fruitless struggle. He tortured me with his smile as I screamed behind his hand as he violated my body. He was enjoying this. He licked my tears and bit my lips, forcing my lips open with his tongue and plunging it inside my mouth. I screamed into his mouth and bit his tongue hard. I tasted blood. Jo roared and slapped my face so hard my neck almost broke and my brain rattled in my head. My lip was bleeding and my ear went deaf for a few moments. My vision blurred and my lips trembled in pain and fury. Jo just laughed at me again.

"You're going to like this part lezzie cunt," Jo laughed in my face.

He spit the blood from his bleeding tongue in my face, pulled my g string aside and sank his fingers deep inside me. I screamed as loud as I could but Jo covered my mouth again laughing. Tears streamed from my eyes but my screams were muffled by his hand, my desperate cries were useless and unheard. I scratched and beat at Jo but my blows made not so much as a dent in the huge hulking man. His fingers pushed even further into me. His deep moan resonated in my ear. I cried and cried, struggling with all my strength.

"Is this how your girlfriend fucks you? You like that don't you? You're nice and wet for me aren't you, you little whore! I'm gonna show you what it really is to get your pussy fucked." Jo growled in my ear.

He pulled his fingers from inside me and started fumbling with his belt buckle. My insides felt scratched and raw, my legs trembled and my face was burning with humiliation and shame. Anger engulfed me. I wasn't his to have. I was Maura's, _only_ Maura's. I felt horribly violated and impossibly disgusted. Maura would never want me again. She'd never touch me after this awful man robbed her of what I'd promised her. My heart and soul screamed in terror and torment. Maura would hate me now. Despair overcame me. I wanted to die. This man touched me in my most sacred place. Violated the best part of me. I hated myself. I hated this man. I hated my life. I cried and cried pressed against the wall, suffocated by the man's gross hand, helpless to free myself from this nightmare.

I thought of my baby girl. I was scared to death but I couldn't give up. I couldn't leave her to suffer all her life over losing me like I'd suffered over losing my mother. I wouldn't let this man rape me and rob me of my dignity. I was NOT a whore! Strength unknown to me exploded through my body. Jo was moaning excitedly as he fumbled with his belt with his free hand. His eyes belied his very real intentions to have me, to rape me, to torment me. I hated the man with all my heart and all my soul. He'd robbed my family from me, he would _not_ have me too! I bit his greasy hand as hard as I could, I tasted his blood in my mouth again. Jo screamed in surprise and pain. The horror in his eyes only encouraged me. I kneed him in the groin so ferociously he went flying backward. He roared in rage and pain.

I didn't stop to think. I ran for my life toward the back exit. If I hadn't been so hysterical I would have run the other way, onto the stage where people would see me and save me. But I could barely think. I just had to get away. I ran as hard as I could. The back exit was so close. I was only feet away. I cried and screamed as loud as I could. I could get away. I could make it. This man would NOT rape me. Victory was near but I stumbled in my heels, my ankle rolled and I fell to the floor painfully. I cursed and screamed in frustration and terror. I tried to crawl the last few feet to the door but Jo recovered from my blow. His pain numbed by alcohol. He rose to his feet and chased me down. His long legs caught up to me quickly. I screamed and cried in terror. Jo grabbed my hair at the back of my head and lifted me too my feet dragging me down the hallway, his eyes wild with fury.

"You're going to pay for that whore!" He hissed at me.

Terror consumed me. I kicked and scratched and screamed at him. I dug my nails into his neck and punched at his face with the desperation of one who knew she was fighting for her life. I would _not_ give up. I would _not_ quit. I would fight until my dying breath. I went at him like a maniac, enraged and terrified. Jo roared in fury as I beat at him. He struggled with my body cursing and hissing in anger. I felt my hair ripping from my head, I felt his nails digging into my scalp. I fought like a beast but I could not overpower the man, I was only making him more angry but I would _not_ quit, I _could_ not quit. My body was not his to have, my _life_ was not his to have. I fought and I fought but Jo was fuel by alcohol, drugs, lust, and rage. He spun around and back handed me so hard I saw stars and my vision went black. The blow lifted me from my feet, I flew through the air and landed hard on my back. The pain in my body was tremendous. I couldn't see straight. My ears were ringing. I couldn't move. I blinked and blinked to get my eyes to focus. Jo was dragging me by my hair across the floor. I knew I was screaming. I knew I was pleading for my life. Every muscle in my body trembled.

He dragged me into a cold dark dungeon of a basement cursing me and promising all manner of torture and rape. He lifted me by my hair and threw me down a flight of stairs. My body hit every step painfully. My head rattled and I bit my tongue. I tasted blood in my mouth. I felt my eyes swelling from the vicious blow to my face. I felt my arm snap. Pain surged through my body. I landed at the bottom of the stairs in a twisted heap. I screamed and cried. The pain in my arm was tremendous. Blood poured from my tongue out of my mouth and down my throat making me choke between heaving breaths. Tears streamed down my face blinding me. Jo grabbed the back of my hair again and flipped me over on my back. He tore my skirt over my hips and ripped my g string painfully from between my legs. He pressed my face into the cold cement of the basement floor. I could hear him unbuckling his belt again.

"You're a fighter, I'll give you that. But you aint getting away from me girl. Nobody is coming to save you. The thing about whores is...aint nobody gonna miss you. My boys will handle that pimp of yours, he ain't gonna come back for you when they're done with him I promise you that. He'll go find another nasty cunt to make his money. But ain't nobody gonna miss you _whore_! I'll teach you to behave. I teach you to mind your manners. You'll be a good little girl when daddy's done with you!" Jo spread my legs with his knees and crushed my body with his.

I knew I was screaming for my life.

"You're mine now whore. You're going to make me and my club a fortune with your pretty long legs and your pretty long hair ain't you girl," Jo sniffed at my hair and groaned in yearning.

"I've pimped and sold a hundred whores just like you. You're gonna be a real nice fuck with that tight, wet little pussy you got." He taunted me.

"Go **fuck** yourself!" I hissed through the blood pouring out of my mouth.

Jo laughed wickedly. I heard him spit and felt it land on my ass between my cheeks. I felt him slide his penis through my slit, I screamed and cried in fury. I felt him spread my ass cheeks preparing to enter me.

"Where's that girlfriend of yours now?" Jo teased me viciously.

Fury engulfed me. I flailed my good arm and tried desperately to get away. I managed to make contact with Jo's face with my elbow. I heard him curse and scream. I felt the blood pouring from his broken nose dripping into my hair. I'd distracted Jo enough to crawl out from beneath him. I knew my arm was broken. I screamed in pain but I stood on my trembling legs and ran anyway. I ran up the stairs of the basement as fast as I could. I had to get away. I had to run. I had to find Maura and get her the hell away from this place.

I gritted my teeth against the pain shooting through my body. I heard Jo running up the stairs behind me. He grabbed my hair again but I was tired of being tormented. I was tired of living in fear. I was tired of suffering. I was tired of crying. I was tired of being weak. I would **not** go quietly into the night. I would not let this man have me and rape me and sell me in bondage and slavery. I kicked his knee cap viciously with my heel. Jo roared and cursed, stumbling slightly but he never released my hair. I felt my scalp rip as he stumbled. I screamed in agony. Jo pushed me forward as hard as he could. I stumbled on the stairs and hit my head on a step. The world went fuzzy and dim again. I felt blood streaming down my face. He was on top of me again, ripping at my shirt and my skirt. His face was wild and manic. Blood poured from his nose and mouth into his black greasy beard. I could see his penis pink and erect ready to take from me what wasn't his to have. He grabbed my hips and pulled my legs around his body. I was screaming and crying for my life. I beat at him with my one good arm scratching at his horrible, cold eyes that were blazing with evil and lust. He punched me so hard in my ribs and I gasped and screamed as I felt several of them break. He wrapped his hand around my throat and squeezed so hard my eyes were popping from their sockets. His own eyes radiated hatred, evil, and malevolent contempt.

I was terrified beyond belief. I knew if I didn't do something my life would be stolen from me. My dizzy head swam with visions of my brothers and my mother. I could see Angela and Maura and James and Consuela. I could hear them screaming at me to get up, to fight back, it wasn't my turn, it wasn't my time. But the pain in my body was excruciating. I could not breathe. Tears of misery, terror, and horror streamed from my eyes and mixed with the blood covering my face. Jo flattened his body on top of mine and I felt his penis trying to find the entrance of my vagina. The dim lights of the room were fading from my vision. I was losing consciousness with Jo's hand around my throat. If I did not fight now, I wouldn't live to fight at all. With the last bit of strength I had I kicked my legs wildly trying to throw off Jo's balance before he shoved himself inside me. Adrenaline and fear were the only things driving me. Jo screamed and cursed trying to steady my flailing body. I felt around desperately for anything I could get a hold of and pull myself away from the man. When Jo pushed me my head hit the step so hard the brittle old wood had splintered. I grasped at the broken wood desperately. My finger nails ripping and bleeding. My vision was going black. My throat was being crushed. My brain was screaming for oxygen. My body was shutting down. With one final effort exhausting the last of my strength I ripped off a shard of wood and plunged it deep into the side of Joe's face just at the moment he shoved his penis inside me with a powerful mighty heave. I screamed in pain, and rage. I felt my vagina tear as Joe's hot sticky blood poured all over my face and chest. My body was broken, violated, and spent, but I had won the war. I cried out from my soul in victory, a guttural sound that consumed me and made my hair stand on end. Jo's hand released its choking hold on my throat. I gasped as deep as I could trying to refill my deprived broken body with breath.

Joe screamed from the depths of his soul. His body seized and his back arched. He howled and trembled in agony. His penis shrunk and went flaccid inside me. I pulled myself away from him with my good arm, my broken ribs howling in agony. I kicked him backward down the stair case with all the strength my fury provided.

"**FUCK** **YOU**!" I screamed, my voice shrill and high and hysterical.

Jo's body thumped and thudded heavily all the way down landing with a sickening splat at the bottom of the steps. I stared down at him my eyes wide and my entire body shaking. Jo lay unmoving, his leg was twisted grotesquely and blood pooled around his head. I started laughing hysterically. I could not stop it. I was in shock, terrible horrible shock. My mind could not process what had happened to me, my mind and body were shutting down. Every part of me hurt. I laughed and cried in hysterics but I was still consumed with terror. I could not stand. There was too much pain. My limbs shook beyond my control. I felt my thighs become sticky with moisture. I cried when I pulled my fingers from between my legs and saw the bright red blood. How could Maura love me now? I was torn and molested, violated in the worst way possible.

I doubled over in defeat. I crawled on skinned knees up the steps and out of the dungeon. I could barely see through my tears. I was covered in blood both mine and Jo's. My broken arm hung limply at my side, dragging grossly across the floor. My shirt was gone, Jo had torn it off my body along with my underwear. My thighs felt bruised, my vagina was throbbing from the assault of Jo's fingers and the vicious thrust of his penis into my body, my broken ribs howled in agony. I crawled down the hall gasping and choking on the blood pouring from my tongue. My body was so broken and my head so damaged I felt like a zombie barely holding on to consciousness. The world was fuzzy and my vision swam in and out of focus. I left a trail of bright red blood behind me as I crawled. It was becoming harder and harder to keep moving but I had to get away. I wasn't safe yet. It was very likely I had killed a man, a member of the horrible club responsible for the death of my family. Someone else could come. Someone else could take me and rape me and kill me and I had no more strength to fight. I had to get to my car. I had to find James. I had to warn Maura. Maura, my sweet Maura, I had to get her out of this place.

I tried to keep moving but I lost my balance. My one good hand slipped from under me and I collapsed to the floor. I tried to crawl on my stomach but my body gave out. I thought of Maura. I could see her smile in my mind's eyes. I thought of Angela. I just wanted to hold her. I wanted to hear her laugh. I wanted to kiss her cheeks. I wanted to tell her I loved her one last time. I began to sob. My heart ached. I lay on the cold hard floor bleeding out barely able to see and to abused to move. It felt like the life was draining from my body. It felt like I was fading away. I didn't want to leave, I wanted Maura. Where was she? Where was my Maura? I wanted to see her one last time.

I felt slender arms wrap around me and turn me over. I saw Henry's face. He was speaking to me but I couldn't hear him. He pulled off his shirt and held it too my head. Why was he crying? His face was bleeding. His skin was pale. He looked terrified. I saw another face I barely recognized. Gerald was it? Gerald Ingles. He pulled his jacket from his body and wrapped it around me. I saw James, he was crying. His face was bruised and beaten. Blood was matted in his hair. He was screaming something at me, I couldn't hear him. He smiled at me and brushed my hair from my face. He was gentle, his tears dotted my chest. I tried to smile, I tried to speak, but I only choked on more blood. All the faces above me looked horrified. Why were they so afraid? Where was Maura? Why was there so much smoke in the hallway?

I felt my mind darken. My vision was nearly gone when the back door flew off the hinges and dozens of police officers stormed inside guns pointed and eyes fierce with determination. Relief flooded me. I was saved. I'd fought for my life with every bit of strength I had and I won. I began to sob from the depths of my soul as the officers approached me. The pain of my body and the pain in my soul bubbled over and I lost control. Footsteps thundered around me. People were pulling James, and Gerald, and Henry away from me. James was screaming and fighting back. He was so angry. Flashlights flashed in my eyes. Voices rang in my ears. EMT's hustled a transport bed inside. They bustled about me shouting orders to each other. They went wild around me bandaging my wounds, staunching the flow of blood, monitoring my pulse, poking me with needles, trying to sling my arm. They were hurting me. Everything hurt. I was so tired. I just wanted to sleep. The darkness was coming for me. I saw only one face hovering above me, I didn't know if it was real. Her hand was so warm as it held my own tightly. Why was she crying, she shouldn't cry. I loved it when she smiled.

"Maura?" I whispered but I choked on blood, my entire body seizing in violent coughing.

Somewhere in my head I heard her voice screaming my name. She had such a pretty voice. The world faded away.

...

**A/N: And SCENE! Bring on the hateful reviews, this chapter hurts...**


	28. On the Flip Side

**A/N: Ok so for those still reading...thank you so much for your resilience. I was shocked that the last chapter received so many positive reviews despite the nature of the chapter. This one goes back and tells the story of what was going on while Jane was being tormented from James' and Maura's POV. It's extremely long so...blot out an hour of your time. I promise the next chapter moves into the fallout from the 'incident' and we'll get into the healing and what not. Shout out to my beta mrj726. You make me better girl. Anyway with all that being said...here we go!**

**James**

I pulled into the parking lot of the strip club so fast that the car's tires screeched and I almost lost control of the vehicle. My heart was racing so fast it was becoming painful. The adrenaline in my system was sickening. I was furious and more importantly I was scared stiff. I couldn't believe what was happening. I couldn't believe where I was. I couldn't believe Jane, and more than that I just couldn't believe Maura. Maura had always been so sensible in the past, well usually practical and also level-headed. She was extremely no-nonsense about almost everything, but when it came to women she had always been a disaster. After the Talia fiasco I thought she'd stay away from the whores. I thought she learned a very painful and expensive lesson. I guess I was wrong. The damage control it took to contain Talia's brand of evil was insane. It was the absolute worst thing Maura had ever gotten herself into. Talia had threatened everything, the very existence and name of Isles. The bitch was a whole different kind of crazy. Maura begged me not to discuss this with her mother and assured me she'd never make such a mistake again. She'd been so damaged and so hurt, almost to the point of non-recovery. I stood by Maura and forced her to cope with the reality of Talia's wretched betrayal. The heartbreak seemed to be unending. It seemed like the light had been extinguished from Maura's eyes and every single day was a struggle just to get her to smile or show any emotion at all. I hated seeing how lonesome and despondent Maura had been for the last many years since Talia. Every time I saw her she just looked so...sad. I did everything I could to encourage her. I did everything I could to set her up on dates with eligible women from decent families, but Maura was always so peculiar and awkward she just couldn't make any real connections no matter how hard she tried. I almost thought Maura would be alone forever.

And then along came Jane.

When I first got the phone call from Maura in the middle of the night all those weeks ago demanding I draft Power of Attorney papers for a whore I was flabbergasted and beside myself with disbelief. All manner of horrible thoughts crossed my mind as to what kind of mess Maura was creating this time that I had to clean up. I just knew Jane was a gold digging whore. I just knew Jane would take advantage of her, hurt her, and blackmail her like that cunt bitch Talia. But I was so wrong. Jane was sweet to Maura. She made Maura laugh and smile in ways I'd never seen. She showed Maura to be resilient in her personal life. Maura was a tough and responsible person when asserting her business persona, but now she displayed an internal strength. Jane made Maura stronger, _crazier_ God knows, but stronger none the less. She made Maura happy and filled her life with everything she thought she'd never have and I thought she'd never have too. I saw the way Jane looked at Maura at the charity event. I was at the table when Jane cursed at Constance for upsetting Maura. I couldn't believe she got Maura to come back to the party after that horrible dress incident. That was a disaster. I was expecting Maura to fall apart. I was expecting to have to peel her off the floor and worry over her for weeks if not months. I had been upset and distressed to the point of sickness about everything that transpired at that event. But my jaw literally dropped when Maura walked back into the party with her head held high and Jane beaming by her side. That's the moment I knew Jane unconditionally loved Maura. That's the moment I knew Maura loved and adored Jane. That's the moment I knew that, barring some unforeseen nightmare, (and we were no stranger to those at that point) Jane would always be there for Maura.

I accepted this truth. I embraced it. I even encouraged it. I loved Maura like a sister and I wanted her to be happy. I loved Jane too for being what she was to Maura. But as much as I loved Jane, I couldn't deny certain truths about the woman. Things I don't think Maura could see or wanted to admit. I knew some crazy shit was going on with Jane personally, but I didn't know the full extent until very recently. I should have never let Jane go snooping after Maura. I should have insisted Maura back off this case and get Jane the help she really needed. I should have kept a better eye on Jane earlier and maybe she wouldn't have escaped the house and run off to this motorcycle murder club dressed up like a freaking whore. I thought Maura could handle it. I didn't think it would come to this...I mean _really_, who could have seen this coming? I felt like I was living some kind of Lifetime movie that just makes you want to kill yourself at the end. But I was done trusting these two women to do the right thing. Obviously, they had both lost their minds and now here I was in front of the most ghastly strip club I'd ever seen in a part of town that looked like a real-life battlefield. I grit my teeth as I flew into one of the few empty parking spaces, as far away as possible from the building and turned off the car.

A sick feeling settled in my stomach. I sighed and shook my head. I still couldn't believe this was happening. I prayed to God I wasn't too late to stop Jane from making a dreadful mistake. I shuddered to think of what Maura would do if we didn't keep Jane from shaking her tits on that stage. As ridiculous as I thought Maura had been lately I was scared to death she'd do something irrational like punching people out and climb up on the stage and drag Jane off like Forrest Gump did to Jenny in that movie. I wiped the sweat off my brow. I climbed out of the car and walked as swiftly as I could toward the front door. I looked down at my suit and huffed, I looked horrible. My suit was ruined. I made a note to bill Maura for the suit and my pain and freaking suffering too. My eyes were wide searching the parking lot for signs of Jane's car. There were lots of people milling around outside, lots of _unsavory_ looking people. Men with leather jackets and untrimmed beards eyed me as I passed them. The looks of the men sent chills up and down my spine. Some of them were drinking from brown paper bags or flasks and some of them were smoking cigarettes or joints or cigars. All of them looked like people I didn't want to meet and I sure as hell didn't want to go in that club. But what choice did I have if Jane was in there?

The music of the club was so loud I could hear it all the way outside. There was a long line of those sordid looking biker dudes waiting to get inside. I felt like everyone was staring at me. I looked down at my Rolex, my gold tie clip, my thousand dollar suit and cursed under my breath. I was scared to death I'd get cracked over the head any minute, found in a ditch somewhere stripped and very likely dead. I continued to mutter and curse. I was going to charge Maura for fucking hazard pay too. I walked around the parking lot looking for Jane's car, I knew all the eyes outside were following me. I started to sweat twice as much. I spotted Jane's Escalade parked on the street to the side of the club and my heart dropped. I was too late. She was inside already. Anger and frustration engulfed me. I kicked at the asphalt and gritted my teeth. I wanted to punch something, but I forced myself to calm down. I had to think. I was the only rational person in this scenario. I had to stay calm because Jane and Maura had gone out of their way to prove I couldn't count on them to be reasonable. What should I do now? I ran my hand through my sweaty hair and scratched my scalp. I guess I just had to go inside. Maybe I could find her. Maybe I could find that old cop friend of Maura's and he could help me. Maybe that was a bad idea though because he was undercover, and I might blow his cover. And where the hell was Maura?

I turned around to face the club, I had to do it...I just had to go in there. It was the only way to find her; hopefully she wasn't already on that damn stage. I thought of my baby daughter. I'd _die_ if she were ever in a place like this exposing her body publicly and shaming herself in every way possible. Just the thought made me want to vomit and kick something at the same time. I glared at the men staring at me, sizing me up. I was in no mood for trouble, but I had to get to Jane. I started stalking toward the club. My fists clenched and my jaw set. All manner of fear enveloped me. I was petrified of these people. I was a Harvard graduate. I spent my free time in a country club and on golf courses...not in places that looked like rape factories. I cursed over and over in my head. I was halfway to the front door when a strong arm caught me and spun me around. I almost lashed out with my fists but I stopped when the man called me by name.

"Are you James? Maura's attorney?" The young black man asked me.

I was shocked for a moment. The man was dressed in a suit as nice as mine and looked even more out of place than me. I frowned and looked back at the club. I had to get in there.

"You gotta come with me," The black man said dragging me away quickly.

He hustled me all the way across the street and to the other side of the McDonald's parking lot. He never let go of my arm. He pushed me forward with conviction. I wanted to protest. I didn't like being handled, but this had to be Detective Frost. Maura said she was going to call him. I tried to ask him questions, but he answered none of them. His face had a grim, determined expression. He walked with the elongated stride of someone on a mission. I didn't know what the hell he wanted or where we were going, but I was growing increasingly more nervous by the second. We started walking down a creepy, dark alley toward a white van. Frost slid open the doors of the van and shoved me inside the back. I sat down on a very uncomfortable seat and looked around the van wide-eyed and curious. There were computer monitors, lap tops and all kinds of surveillance equipment in there. What the hell was going on? Frost climbed inside with me and he closed and locked the door. I noticed one computer monitor with a split screen displaying the alley from the front of the van and the back of the van. Frost could see anyone coming and going up and down the alley. I was impressed, but still I was confused. What the hell was going on? Frost sat in a chair in front of the computer monitors and studied me for a moment.

"Who are you?" I asked, though I already thought I knew the answer.

"I'm Detective Frost," The man said showing me his badge.

I studied it and nodded my head.

"Detective Korsak asked me to run surveillance for him while he's inside the club. Maura called me a few minutes ago about Jane, but I couldn't get to her in time. I can't go in there because as a general rule black guys and white motorcycle clubs don't mix. It would be suspicious if I went in there after Jane, so you have to do it." Frost said holding up a cheap looking necklace and giving it to me.

I frowned. What the hell was with the necklace? I looked at Frost skeptically.

"What am I supposed to do with this?" I asked curiously.

"It's a camera. See the little rhinestone piece...there's a tiny camera in there. Korsak has one too but his is on a different kind of necklace. You have to get it to Jane. It's the only way to keep an eye on her the whole time. If she gets close to the guy we're looking for we can see what's happening. And give her this too," Frost said handing me an earpiece.

It was small enough to fit right into an ear and not be seen.

"This way I can talk to her and hear everything that's going on. I know Maura isn't going to like it...but since Maura isn't on the case anymore and Jane's already in there, she's our best shot at getting a finger print or DNA tonight. We know the guy is in there. We just gotta walk Jane through it and hopefully be done with this mess. Just go in there, ask to see Jane, say you're her pimp or something, give her this stuff and tell her everything I said. As soon as she's got the earpiece in place I can talk to her myself and walk her through the process. But you gotta get her the equipment." Frost said sincerely.

My jaw was hanging open. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"You can't be serious. You can't actually _want_ Jane to go through with this!" I exclaimed. "I was going in there to get her the hell out." I almost yelled at the detective.

I narrowed my eyes at Frost. I was growing angrier with him and this whole crack pot idea. Frost just hung his head and sighed.

"We didn't ask Jane to do this. But she's already in there and already planning to shake her ass on..." Frost didn't finish that thought.

He stopped short when he saw my face. I can only imagine the detestable glare I was giving him. Frost cleared his throat and swung his conversation in a safer direction.

"...There's no way to get her out against her will without making a scene or arousing suspicion potentially compromising the undercover operation. We just have to make the best of this situation. When you give her the earpiece I'll tell her she doesn't have to do it. I'll tell her she can walk out of there and away from this whole thing. But if she doesn't I'm going to tell her exactly what to do to get what we need and bring this place down." Frost said sincerely.

He looked at me levelly.

"She has the _right_ to help. It was her family that got killed. If she wants to do it, she's our new undercover liaison. It's perfect actually; I couldn't have come up with a better way to get at this club myself." Frost said honestly.

I crushed the necklace in my fist.

"NO way...I'm going in there and bring her back out. She's not a **whore **andit would hurt her _and_ Maura if she were to have to act like one! You don't understand!" I said my voice rising in disgust.

Frost sighed.

"No one's asking her to sleep with anyone. But I did some background research on the club; they are under suspicion of running a prostitution ring. If we put it out there that she's a whore and she baits a guy from the club to approach her on camera and solicit her, it is probable cause to set up a sting later and get search warrants, especially if Jane obtains DNA from the jacket guy and it matches what was found in the car. Guys like to brag in front of women, if Jane gets a guy in the club to admit to some crime..._anything_, we can claim RICO against the club for all manner of illegal operations and take 'em all down. I know it sucks James, but the only way you're getting close to her before she walks on stage is if you say you're her pimp. After she's dancing it will be too late to slip her this stuff and explain what's going on. Besides, we need to know what's happening backstage, something could happen to her back there and no one would know or be able to call in back up and storm the place if need be. It's the only way!" Frost said again.

I grumbled and cursed. I rubbed my forehead and wished to God this wasn't happening.

Frost was patient for a moment while I thought.

"What's it going to be man? I can tell you care about Jane. This is the only way to keep her safe." Frost said with a heavy voice.

I cursed again. Where the hell was Maura? Actually, I guess it was best she wasn't here yet. I can't imagine the nightmare she was going to be when she found out about this little 'plan'.

"Yeah alright...alright," I said finally shaking my head in defeat.

What other choice did I have? I was still going to try and convince her to leave, but if not at least this way we could keep an eye on her.

Frost nodded his head in relief. He reached behind him and threw some clothes at me.

"Put this on," He said.

I held up the jeans and leather jacket and frowned.

"I have to wear _this_ stuff?" I wailed.

"You gotta look like a pimp...and not a high class pimp like you do now. This ain't a high class kinda place. You gotta look the part or they won't trust you. Put it on and hurry up. Jane's been in there over fifteen minutes already." Frost seemed on edge. He looked as worried as me.

I sighed and changed my clothes quickly. I looked down at myself when I was finished and shook my head. I was still wearing my sweaty white t-shirt and my shinny dress shoes, the leather jacket was hot and uncomfortable and the jeans were impossibly tight.

"These jeans are crushing my nuts man," I said unhappily.

"It's how they wear them. Suck it up dude." Frost said.

"But why dammit? The nuts gotta breathe!" I insisted.

Frost chuckled and tossed me a cowboy hat. I caught it, looked it over, and sighed.

"This too?" I asked gloomily.

"What? Did you expect to walk in there dressed like Princess Kate and think those guys would believe you were a pimp? Put on the damn hat and maybe they won't recognize you from earlier." Frost scoffed.

I grumbled and pulled the hat over my head.

"Fine, give me the camera and the earpiece,"

"Here," Frost said handing me the things. "If you can't get her alone just hand her the necklace and make sure she puts it on. **Don't** give her the earpiece _unless you are alone_! If you can't get to her give the necklace to another dancer to give to her. It's a cheap piece of shit necklace so hopefully those hoes don't steal it. Get this shit to Jane **first**. Then try and find Korsak. Be causal but slip him this other earpiece so I can tell him what's going on. I didn't give him one before cause I was worried he'd get caught with it, but we have to take that chance now." Frost said.

I grumbled and tucked the earpieces into the inside of my leather jacket pocket.

"FINE!" I hissed.

Frost just shook his head.

"Just get in there and get the hell out and back here. I will need your help with Maura," Frost said.

He had a worried look on his face when he mentioned Maura. I wondered what she'd done to him. I didn't even want to know. He seemed well aware that he had a storm coming his way and it was called Hurricane Maura. I almost chuckled...almost.

I slipped from the van and made my way toward the club. I crossed the street, my heart racing and my palms sweating. I walked with as much confidence as I could muster. I walked right past those revolting men that had glared at me earlier. Now they just looked at me with interest. I hoped they didn't recognize me as the guy in the suit earlier. I pulled the hat lower to hide my face. I walked right up to the club bouncer and slipped a hundred in his hand. The bouncer checked out the bill and nodded in satisfaction. He was an enormous man! I was a good-sized guy too, but this guy was Gerald Ingles' biker brother. I squared my shoulders and didn't flinch. I had to get to Jane.

"Whatcha want man," the bouncer asked in a deep rumbling voice.

"I'm tryna see my hoe! She forgot something." I said holding up the necklace. "It's her good luck charm."

The bouncer sniffed.

"Who's your hoe?" He asked studying me like he didn't quite believe what I was saying.

I decided to play it up a bit.

"The new bitch...tall...long curly black hair...sexy legs...pretty face." I said.

The bouncer smirked. Something about his grin made me sick and pissed off at the same time.

"Yeah, Emily. I seen that bitch. Sexy, _sexy_ bitch! I bet she's making you some real dough! You can go in if you want, but I can't promise they'll let you back there to see her...manager's got her on lock till she dances." The bouncer said shrugging his shoulders.

I sighed and pushed past the man into the club. It was horrible in this nasty club. It was loud as hell. My head was ringing from the earsplitting music. The whole room reeked of alcohol and sex. Women, not half as attractive as Jane, were everywhere; some naked and some might as well have been. All of them were grinding on the smelly biker dudes, and behaving in ways no self-respecting woman should. I shuddered as I looked around. I knew my jaw was hanging open. I felt like I'd walked into some kind of hellish underworld. The men were shouting obscenities and nasty encouragements at the women; one woman on stage was doing something on the pole that made me blush and my skin crawl at the same time. I felt repulsed and furious when I thought of Jane on that pole. I clutched my fists and spotted a door at the far end of the club next to the stage. It must lead to back stage. I made my way toward the door having to duck and dodge my way through the licentious, drunken crowd. I had to squirm away from two women that approached me rubbing their naked tits against my chest and promising all manner of lascivious acts for a certain price. I tried not to look revolted by them but it was hard. I'd take my pretty wife with her sensible clothes and her post-partum depression over these gross disgusting whores any day. I was almost at the door when a very large man stepped in front of me sneering. I stopped short. What did these people eat that made them so fucking _huge_?

"Where you going buddy?" The guy asked me, his voice gravely and threatening.

I stood to my full height.

"I gotta see my hoe man," I said.

The man looked me over.

"What hoe?" He asked.

"Emily," I said casually.

The man sneered. He had that same look on his face the bouncer had when I spoke of Jane.

"Relax dude she's alright back there. Go have a drink and she'll be on stage in a little bit." The man said nodding his head toward the bar.

"But I'm her pimp, I just gotta see her for a quick second," I insisted trying to push past the man.

The guy stepped back and shoved me hard. I stumbled and fell backward landing hard on my back. The room went quiet around me. Everyone was staring. Three or four more guys surrounded me as I crawled to my feet. I looked around and gulped. I knew I couldn't take all four of the guys. I was a black belt in Taekwondo, but I knew these weren't the fight fair kinda guys. I was very likely to take a shank in the back if things got out of hand. I was scared to death, but I just had to get to Jane. I sure as hell didn't want to leave her alone in this place with these Neanderthals without the camera necklace at the very least. Adrenaline surged through me. I pulled off my hat and tossed it aside. I stood my ground and clenched my fists preparing for a fight. If it came to blows I'd take at least two of these guys down with me before they kicked my ass.

"Look...sissy boy wants to fight." One of the men said.

They all laughed and so did some of the other people around us. I felt my face darken and flush.

"How about if this sissy kicks your ass," I cursed at the man who had spoken.

I couldn't believe I fucking said that. I couldn't tell you what I was thinking. I sounded as crazy talking shit to those thugs as Jane and Maura had been behaving all day. The looks around me darkened into ferocity. I was scared to death. I felt my tongue dry out and my eyes widening in alarm. My mind raced between my urge to run and my desperate desire to get to Jane and give her the necklace. Now it seemed I wasn't going to get out of here without a fight, and I certainly wasn't going to get to Jane without a fight. My only saving grace was that I was clutching the necklace tightly with my fists. Maybe Frost would see what was going on and save me, but that would be awful too! Everyone's cover would be blown and then this whole operation will have been for nothing. I had to handle this one on my own and pray I escaped with my life. I felt myself get shoved roughly from behind. I fell down again; the earpieces slipped out of my jacket and got crushed by heavy boots as the gang of hooligans surged toward me. I stood up as quickly as I could. Blood surged through my body. My veins were engorged and pulsating. I was ready to fight, I had no choice. I couldn't believe I was in this mess! The men were moving toward me, threateningly, menacingly. I felt my muscles bulge and tremble in anticipation. My chest heaved. I gasped for breath. I tried desperately to keep calm. The terror of the situation overwhelmed me. One man stepped up to me fists raised, my heart exploded with adrenaline. I was ready to fight for my life, when I felt a strong hand grab my jacket by the shoulder. I heard a loud voice in my ear.

"All right fellas. This little piece of shit ain't worth fucking up the place. A round of shots on me...bartender...a round of shots for the fellas on me!" The man called loudly across the bar.

I looked over my shoulder at the man that had a hold of me and it was Detective Korsak dressed up like a biker. He looked as scary as any of the other dudes. The other guys around us started grumbling and eyeing Korsak sideways, but apparently the prospect of free alcohol overpowered their desire to kick the shit out of me. I looked at Korsak gratefully. I started to speak to him but he eyed me in such a way that I clamped my jaw shut for fear he might knock my teeth out. He hustled me toward the bar and pushed me in a stool. The bartender slipped us two shots of vile, burning alcohol that tasted like it was made behind a shack in the woods with a little bit of squirrel pee mixed in, but I drank it desperately. I needed to calm the hell down. The reality that I almost just got stomped by a gang of juiced up drunken maniacs left me shaken inside and out. I just couldn't believe it. I thought I was coming to Boston to help Jane and Maura get custody of Jane's nephew, and now look at me. I never imagined I'd ever be dressed up in a biker bar trying to stop Maura's insane girlfriend from getting naked in front of a bunch of dudes that wanted to punch my lights out. Worse, I was scared to death I wouldn't be able to stop Jane from doing just that and it was all Maura's fault for opening this case. I knew Maura only had the best of intentions for wanting to solve the murder of Jane's family, but her execution left something to be desired. When this was over I vowed to have a talk with my 'sister' about her decision making issues.

"What the _hell_ are you doing here?" Korsak hissed at me.

He never looked directly at me. He was staring straight ahead clenching a beer in his fists. I took the hint. I didn't look directly at him either.

"_Jane's_ here...she's going to **strip**. Frost made me tell people she's a _**prostitute**_ and I'm her _PIMP_! Have you _seen_ her! I have to give her a necklace from Frost," I said as softly as I could though I couldn't whisper because it was just too loud in the club.

Nobody could hear us anyway, all the eyes were focused on the nasty women dancing and walking around naked. I shuddered looking at the women. At least Jane wasn't walking around naked, I wasn't about to have that happen..._fuck_ that! I cringed just thinking about it. I was furious I had to refer to Jane as a whore to these men. Not a single man in here or all of them combined were worthy of Jane even if she _was_ a whore, which she _wasn't_! Jane was beautiful, and smart, and funny, she had a sarcastic mouth sometimes, but she was passionate about the things and people she loved and she loved Maura. I couldn't stand the idea of her demeaning herself like the other women in this place, or any of these so-called men exploiting her for their own gratification. I hated myself for being party to the reason these awful people thought she was a whore, but I just felt so trapped. I wanted to keep her safe and I hoped the camera would help keep her that way. Still the guilt was sickening to me because I wasn't sure if this was going to work out or not, especially considering the nightmare Maura was going to be when she found out. Maura was going to be furious with me even though I just didn't have a choice. She'd never understand how much I hated myself in that moment, knowing Jane was so close, but unable to get to her. I cared about Jane as much as Maura. No self-respecting man wants to see a woman he cares about spoken of in any inappropriate way, or witness her disgrace herself. I know Jane had lost her brothers but I'm sure they wouldn't have let their sister dishonor herself in this way. I downed another shot of the gut-rot alcohol they served in the God forsaken den of evil and breathed heavily.

Korsak's face looked furious. His jowls stiffened so tight they shook and he turned as red as a tomato. I was actually a little scared sitting next to the man.

"I didn't see her come in," He said, still staring off in the distance.

I sighed.

"I had an earpiece for you and Jane, but they were smashed in the tussle with those crazies over there," I said eyeing the men who had threatened to fuck me up.

They were chatting animatedly with each other at a booth, drinking their shots and distracted by the women dancing for them. I rolled my eyes.

"You need to get the fuck out of here," Korsak hissed at me.

I frowned and cursed under my breath.

"I didn't want to come in this shit hole at ALL!" I spat back angrily.

"Just get up and walk away now...you're bringing to much attention to yourself and me. Give me the necklace and I'll get it to Jane," Korsak said.

I was just about to slip him the necklace, relieved that I could get away from this place, when a tiny little wisp of a man appeared at my side. He was small and slight with long pressed hair and a particularly feminine smile. I thought of Albert for some reason.

"I'm Henry," The man said holding out his hand which I politely shook.

I couldn't figure out what was going on with the little guy. He didn't seem like he belonged here amongst the filthy males packed in this place. He certainly didn't appear to be interested in women either. I cocked my head and studied him.

"I heard you had something to give to the new girl...you're her pimp right?" The little man asked.

"Yeah," I said, trying to sound sincere.

"Give it to me; I'll give it to her." The man said holding out his small hand.

I looked at Korsak but he had turned away from me and was watching the girls on stage. I knew he was listening to everything I was saying but he pretended not to listen. I didn't know what to do. He wasn't going to help me. I shrugged my shoulders and handed the little man the necklace.

"It's her good luck charm...make sure she wears it," I said in my most assertive voice looking at him right in his eyes.

The little man just smiled at me and walked backstage through the door and out of sight. I felt sick in my stomach. I prayed to God he gave Jane that damn necklace. Korsak stood and nodded at me and walked away again. I sighed and escaped the club back out into the fresh air. I walked as casually as I could back to the van and slid inside when Frost opened the door for me.

"Jesus you almost got yourself _killed_! You almost blew the whole operation! You're the worst police liaison ever!" Frost hissed at me.

I felt my face burning in anger.

"Fuck you guys..._all_ of you! I shouldn't have had to do that at all! I'm not a cop dammit! I am an attorney! I am here because I care about Jane and Maura. And let me tell you something else, if you and that old detective get Jane killed I'm going to sue the SHIT out of you two personally _and_ the entire BPD! I'll have your fucking badges if this shit goes south so you better make damn sure this turns out right!" I barked through grating teeth.

I was fuming as I thought of all the ways I'd slam the legal system down on Frost and Korsak if this ended badly for Jane. Frost looked a little put out, but he changed the subject for his own good.

"Did you give Jane the necklace and earpiece, and did Korsak get his earpiece?" Frost asked, completely ignoring my insults and threats.

I shook my head dejectedly.

"No... During the scuffle, the earpieces fell out of my jacket and were crushed. Jane should have the necklace though so check the monitor." I said.

Frost rolled his eyes and turned back to his computer screen. He pushed some keys on a keyboard and the little man's face popped up on screen in what must have been a dressing room. Jane was wearing the necklace. Both Frost and I breathed a sigh of relief.

"THANK GOD!" I exclaimed.

"Good job man," Frost said sitting back and watching the screens in front of him.

I sighed and shook my head. I watched the screen for a moment until my head perked up and my face formed a worried frown.

"Where the fuck is Maura?" I asked.

Frost shrugged his shoulders.

I scratched my head. I hoped nothing was wrong. She should be here already. I rubbed my brow...what the fuck. I couldn't take anymore drama. Her ass better not on the side of the road or some car accident or something. I shuddered at the thought. That would be just my fucking luck.

**...**

**Maura**

The flashing red and blue lights behind us dried my tears. I hated that we were being pulled over, but I was the CME for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. Maybe the officer could help me. I bounced in my seat nervously waiting for the officer to approach my car. Gerald Ingles seemed tense. His face was drawn and tight. He gripped the steering wheel at ten and two staring straight ahead and unflinching. My anxiety was turning my stomach. I'd never handled high stress situations well in my personal life. I couldn't imagine anything, more high stress and awful than what I was facing in this moment. I whimpered, sniffled and squirmed as I thought of Jane. Time was ticking away. I was so concerned and worried about Jane I was about to become hysterical even with an officer about to approach the car. Jane could be on that pole right now doing all manner of things that made me want to curse and vomit. Jane was the mother of our child, I loved her. I couldn't believe I drove her to act out this way. I couldn't _believe_ myself. I promised Jane she would never have to do this again. I promised her I'd protect her and our family and I meant every single word of that promise and always would. Despair and grief ate at my heart. I couldn't believe I'd been so wrapped up in myself that I had not seen all the possible consequences of my actions. I can't believe I'd overlooked so many things about Jane that I didn't realize this was a possibility. Actually...I _had_ realized this was a possibility. I knew Jane was damaged and disturbed by the loss of her family. Sadly, instead of attacking the issue head on, which was getting Jane the help she really needed, I steamrolled ahead with the one plan I had to catch her family's killer with no considerations as to what might go wrong or how it might affect her. Jane was still fragile and vulnerable in many ways. And then, despite my best intentions to get Jane away from Boston, I'd become some kind of tyrant oblivious to Jane's cries and pleas and barking orders at her instead of guiding her and standing by her and communicating with her like I should have. But everything was just moving so fast! I didn't have time to think...I could only react to what was happening around me and GOD it could not have been worse. I just had to get to Jane. I knew I could fix this. I needed to stop her. I now knew what the right things were to do in order to help Janie. I saw everything in the clear light of day for the first time in what felt like forever. I took a deep breath and steeled myself. I wiped my mind of its hysteria and forced the cool collected calm of rational thought upon myself. I could do this, I could get to Jane.

The officer approached the car slowly. He shined a flashlight in the windows. Gerald rolled down the driver's side window and handed the officer his driver's license before he even asked for it. The officer, a very young man with a hideous, long, wiry mustache with crumbs in it, took the license and studied it for a moment scribbling down information on his clip board. I waited for the officer to speak, but when he didn't I just started blurting out information in a hurried frantic speech even though I was trying to be as calm as I could.

"Officer, please my name is Dr. Maura Isles, I'm the Chief Medical Examiner for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. My office is at BPD Headquarters. I'm sure you've heard of me. My associate and I are in a hurry. We have to get to the Jiggle Hut Gentleman's Club as soon as possible. It's an emergency. Perhaps you could give us an escort so that we can get there faster." I pleaded with the man.

The officer scoffed and looked at me in mild disgust. I looked down at my clothes, the horrific leather biker gear, and whimpered.

"You don't look like a doctor. Where's your ID?" He asked. He had a slow southern drawl.

I searched around frantically and cursed when I realized I'd left my purse in my office in my haste to get to the plane. Everything was in there, my work badge, my driver's license, _everything_! I growled in frustration. What the hell was WRONG with me? I couldn't do _anything_ right. I gave the officer my most pleading eyes.

"I left my ID in my office," I said earnestly.

The officer rolled his eyes.

"A likely story," He said sarcastically.

"Officer, she's telling the truth," Gerald added in my defense. "No one would make that up, you've heard of her."

The officer looked at me again frowning, his mustache twitched and his eyes looked disbelieving but amused.

"She don't look like that woman I see on TV sometimes. She looks like a biker bitch. Where did you say you were going again?" The officer asked in that horrible accent.

I felt myself growing angry. I couldn't believe the nerve of this officer. Who was he to speak of me like that? Who was he to speak of anyone in such a rude fashion? This little boy had no idea the mistake he was making. I wanted to tell him all about how I would have him fired in an instant but I forced myself to remain calm. I _had_ to be calm. No more raging around like a maniac. That had gotten me nowhere. It was time for sense and sensibility.

"Jiggle Hut Gentleman's Club," I said as calmly and politely as I could.

The officer nodded his head, his mustache continuing to twitch. His eyes twinkled when I mentioned the club.

"And what would the great Dr. Isles want at a place like that? If you are who you say you are that is?" The man chuckled to himself.

I closed my eyes against the fury building inside me. I thought of Jane, I absolutely had to keep calm for Jane.

"I already told you officer; it's an emergency, police business." I said in an unsteady soft voice.

The officer spit over his shoulder, there was a lump under his bottom lip, chewing tobacco most likely. I cringed. The officer leaned in the window and studied Gerald and I again, his eyes narrowed and accusing.

"Now see, I find that hard to believe. Police business you say, but you ain't got no ID, you look like a stripper or a working girl, and your buddy here ain't no officer neither. But you want me to believe you were speeding to this 'strip club' for police business." The officer said shaking his head and laughing again.

I wanted to cry I was so frustrated with myself and this ignorant officer. I didn't have time for this. Why did I have to forget my ID? I hated myself in that moment. What could I say to this rookie to make him understand he was interfering in police business, _**my**_ business? I _had_ to get to Jane. I shuddered to think what she might be doing in that moment. Had James gotten to her? Had Frost stopped her? Did she know she didn't have to get on that stage, that I'd kept my promise that I was coming for her? That I would always come for her? I felt my heart breaking. I hung my head and wiped tears from my eyes. I could think of nothing but Jane.

The officer smirked at my tears.

"Feeling trapped are we?" The officer badgered me.

I glared at him, but I didn't speak. I was too angry to open my mouth. I couldn't promise I could control the severity of the vile hatefulness that would flow from me if I opened my mouth.

"She's no whore and no stripper. You have no idea the mistake you're making. Back off now and I won't report you for misconduct and abuse of power," Gerald said threateningly.

The officer laughed outright.

"Abuse of power! My, my. Ain't you two something. Let me tell you something buddy how about I can arrest _you_ for threatening an officer of the law, how about that?" The officer goaded Gerald.

Gerald's face darkened.

"You are making a massive mistake." Gerald said in a low forced voice.

"You're the one making mistakes buddy. You and miss hot pants over there. Do you know how fast you were going?" The officer asked Gerald, leaning in close and speaking right next to Gerald's face. I could smell the man's horrible tobacco breath from the passenger's seat. I was still too afraid to speak. I couldn't believe this officer, and Gerald looked like a bomb ready to explode. I looked at the clock and wept softly though I tried to stop. We'd already been pulled over at least ten minutes; I had to get my Janie.

Gerald sighed.

"Seventy sir," Gerald said.

"Seventy in a forty-five. That's reckless driving _Dr_. Isles," The officer said my name in a sardonic tone that made my blood boil.

I gritted my teeth to hold in my frustration. Time was ticking and this stupid little boy was wasting far too much of it.

"Yes it is _speeding_. As I said there's an emergency, I have to get to the club as soon as possible." I hissed.

"I heard of that club. It's that old biker bar...the one with all the whores. What's the emergency? Is this guy your pimp; are you late for a 'date'?" The officer joked chuckling to himself.

The officer's insult was the last straw. I felt my teeth grinding in my head. I pulled out my car's registration from the glove box and handed it to the officer.

"I'm Doctor Maura Isles. Call Detective Frost on your radio and he will verify my identity and that I need to get where I am going immediately. Run my license plate, this car is registered to me. I have to get to my girlfriend at the club before she starts stripping or gets herself in trouble," I blurted out honestly.

The officer looked incredulous.

"A Doctor with a stripper girlfriend, I've heard it all." He chuckled again.

I rolled my eyes and swore under my breath.

"Please call Detective Frost _please_," was all I said.

The man just clicked his tongue and looked over my registration carefully. He was taking his very sweet time and it was grating on my nerves. I didn't have time for this. I kicked myself for not grabbing my purse before I left the office. I wanted to shout and rage in frustration. I understood that we had been excessively speeding but this officer seemed to be pumped up with ego and sarcasm. What point was he trying to make, I didn't know. But I swore to make a point or two of my own with this man when this was all over, but now was just not the time.

I couldn't focus on this officer's imprudence at the moment. I had so many other things to worry about. I'd left everyone at the plane, including my daughter without so much as a word. I swore and texted Consuela to get everyone back to the house and stay there. Angela needed to be in bed and so did James' children. When this was all over and Jane was safe at home again, I wanted Angela to be there for Jane to hold and comfort and love. I wanted so many things, but in the moment I was at the mercy of an idiot officer and I felt my hatred growing for him every second he spent fooling around. I tapped my fingers impatiently as I waited for the officer to go back to his patrol car and call Frost like I had asked. But he was just in no kind of hurry. Gerald Ingles was still as stone next to me. My frustrations bubbled over.

"Please officer," I insisted, my voice laced with contempt "Call Detective Frost so I may be on my way,"

The officer sniffed.

"I'm going to have to run your plates and check out this registration. I'll be back, you just sit tight little darling," The officer smiled roguishly at me.

I felt my face burning with rage. I swore angrily when the officer walked back to his car.

"You should call the station yourself and have them call the officer in his car." Gerald suggested.

My eyes lit up. Of course...why didn't I think of that?

I dialed the number to dispatch and told them what was going on.

"Of course Doctor Isles...hold on...what address did you give me again?" The woman's pleasant voice changed in an instant.

She sounded disturbed and frantic all of a sudden. I frowned slightly.

"I'm going to 1532 Cavalier Blvd. The Jiggle Hut Gentleman's Club," I repeated patiently.

The woman was silent for a moment. When she came on the line again I couldn't mistake the urgency in her voice even though she was trying to remain composed.

"I just got a call on the radio, Detective Frost is calling in backup to that address...multiple shots fired...officers in duress...stay away from there until the scene is safe for CSU and the rest of your team Doctor Isles..."

I dropped the phone. My hands were trembling. My eyes were wide, my heart was racing, my skin broke out into goose bumps, and panic seized my heart.

"Jane," Was all I said before I leaned forward and emptied my stomach contents on the floor of the car.

"What's going ON?" Gerald asked, his face looked pale and shocked.

I sat up, my face horrified and full of alarm. I looked back at the officer in his patrol car. I gritted my teeth and steeled my nerves.

"Drive," I spat at Gerald.

"WHAT!" Gerald exclaimed.

Even he sounded frantic now and he was the epitome of self control.

"DRIVE!" I screamed at him.

"I can't..." Gerald started.

"...GET OUT!" I interrupted him.

I didn't have time for second guessing. Jane was very likely in that club; in danger...her _life_ was in danger. There was nothing I would not do to get to her...NOTHING!

"Dr. Isles calm down and..."

"...Get _out_ Gerald or **DRIVE**!" I screamed at him again.

My eyes were wide, radiating determination and fire. Gerald gulped and looked out the rear view mirror again. I cursed and took a deep breath. He started the engine, threw the car in drive, and we sped away. My heart was racing a mile a minute, my hands were trembling in fear, and my mind was overwhelmed with thoughts...terrible horrible thoughts of a life without Jane. The officer's car sped up behind us, his lights flashing and his siren blaring. Gerald looked panicked and terrified. We were technically running from the law. But I would not be stopped, I was Dr. Maura Isles. There was nothing I couldn't do, no obstacle I couldn't overcome, and no rookie officer I couldn't squash with the flick of my finger.

"What do we do?!" Gerald demanded.

"DON'T STOP!" I commanded of him. "We're almost there,"

Gerald swore and cursed. We raced down the street. The world was a blur around us. The sirens of the patrol vehicle cut the silence of the night like a knife through butter. My heart raced to match the speed of the car. My BMW's engine was roaring with power, the tires screeched at every turn sending up dust and smoke.

"I'm coming Jane...I'm coming sweetheart...hold on...hold on!" I prayed in my head.

I pleaded with God that he keep Jane safe. I prayed she was with James or Frost and not in that club. I prayed for James, Frost and Korsak too, I prayed they weren't hurt, I prayed they weren't in danger. I was relieved that I wasn't inside that club but I felt terrible guilt that Korsak was in there alone. Gerald and I raced and raced through the streets. The patrol car behind us was right on our tail, but wait, what was going on? Why was the patrol car passing us? The young rookie officer swerved from behind us and sped right by my car swerving back right in front of us his sirens still flashing and his lights still blaring. I was confused. Had the officer gotten the call for back up?

"Stay right behind him!" I shouted at Gerald.

He complied with my wishes.

**...**

**James**

I sat in the hot van twiddling my thumbs nervously as I watched the screen. Jane still hadn't left the dressing room. She was just talking to that little man. I hated myself for not getting back there to see her. I didn't want her to go through with this. This was appalling, my stomach was turning, and I felt so guilt-ridden. Maura would hate me forever if Jane got up on that stage. I hoped and prayed some miracle would happen and Jane wouldn't have to dance. Maybe she could find the motorcycle jacket guy and get a print or his hair and we could grab her and get the hell away from this awful place. My leg was shaking nervously and my eye lid was twitching. I kept picking up random things in the van and toying with them trying to distract myself from the horror of the situation. Frost kept glancing over at me and frowning. I didn't meet his eyes. I knew to him I appeared a little unusual. I was sweating like crazy. My pants were tight in places that made me extremely uncomfortable so I was constantly squirming and adjusting my crotch, and my mind was consumed with worst case scenarios.

"What happens if Jane gets in trouble?" not caring that I asked for the hundredth time.

Frost rolled his eyes again.

"We'll see it on the camera and I will call in for back-up and get her out of there." Frost sighed.

I shook my head.

"What if we can't wait for backup, what if we have to get in there in a hurry?" I pushed.

Frost's face looked grim.

"Korsak and I would have to take the place alone. But that's the absolutely worst case scenario. It's too dangerous to storm a place like that with only two officers. The chances of something going wrong are extremely high." Frost informed me.

"I will go in with you," I said intently.

Frost looked at me like I was crazy.

"You'll do us all a favor and stay the hell out the way." He frowned.

"If Jane's in trouble I'm going in there and you can't stop me. I have a black belt and you and Korsak would be better with me than without me if backup can't get here in time. Besides, I already told you what I'll do to you if Jane gets hurt." I retorted.

I may have sounded like a petulant child but I hadn't said anything that wasn't true. Frost just rolled his eyes. I sighed and picked up an oddly shaped canister, twirling it in my hands and studying it.

"What's this thing?" I asked curiously.

Frost looked over and grimaced.

"Smoke bomb. It's full of tear gas...it's for crowd control. Don't play with that thing." Frost eyed me sideways.

I stopped shaking the canister in my hand, but I didn't put it down. I turned back to the computer monitors. Jane's camera shifted. Both Frost and I leaned forward keenly in anticipation. My heart leapt and my stomach was agitated. Jane was walking now, down a dingy dark hallway toward the stage. I felt miserable and helpless as I watched the screen. I gritted my teeth, I knew what was coming or so I thought. It was Jane's turn to dance. Worry, dread and disappointment consumed me. I _hated_ this. I hated sitting in this sweltering van watching helplessly as Jane traversed the corridor. I couldn't imagine what was keeping Maura, but I was so glad she wasn't here to see this. If this was a nightmare for me it would be indescribably horrific for Maura. I shook my head and sighed. I was just about to speak to Frost when the camera of Jane's necklace suddenly shifted. The view on the screen spun so quickly it made my head swim, and my eyes had to squint in an effort to see what was happening. The camera shook and bounced around, the screen shifted views wildly until it settled into blackness. It looked like Jane's camera was being blocked by something. Both Frost and I jumped in shock not sure what just happened on the monitor. It was so fast, a matter of a second or two, but the suddenness and the violent motion of the camera frightened me. Not to mention the eerily still blackness on the screen now. Every now and then it looked like something was moving over the camera, but there was no clear picture, just a shadow-like darkness. My heart raced.

"What the fuck was _that_?" I asked hysterically.

Frost looked puzzled and uneasy.

"I don't know, maybe she's hugging someone, or the necklace got caught on something and fell off." Frost said.

His eyes were wide and searching. I could tell his mind was racing. I could tell he was thinking of what to do now. I could tell he was anxious. His anxiety made my uneasiness rollover into alarm.

"Well _what the hell_? Hugging who goddamitt!? What if she's in trouble!?" I yelled at the top of my lungs.

Frost was looking at the monitor so hard his nose was almost touching the screen. His face was pinched in concentration. His eyes narrowed into slits and his body was tense. I was already in a full on panic. I stood in the back of the van and stared down at the monitor. I didn't know what the fuck to do. Do I run into the club? Do I find Jane? Do I look for Korsak? Do I start knocking bikers out left and right until I found Jane? I felt so much apprehension it was hard to breathe or think straight. My fingers were trembling from the adrenaline now coursing through my veins.

"We gotta get in there now, something's wrong!" I exclaimed after a few moments when the view of Jane's camera didn't change.

Frost bit his fist thinking hard.

"We don't know what's going on! I can't just storm in there alone and flash my badge over nothing! Those dudes will scatter like rats and I could get hurt or killed! We may never find the guy with the jacket again if he gets away! Korsak's camera is fine. There nothing abnormal going on from his view." Frost said.

"But something is going on with _Jane's_ camera! You saw it shift and now we can't see _anything_! Something's wrong!" I insisted.

Frost sighed.

"We don't know that. Jane could have turned around and the necklace swung and caught on something and fell off or malfunctioned. She was right at the stage anyway. She should show up on Korsak's camera any second now," Frost said with far too much confidence for my liking.

I don't know where he was getting his confidence, but I didn't have any faith at all in what he was saying. I stood staring between the monitors, my eyes flashing between Jane's feed and Korsak's feed over and over again. I could feel my heart thumping in my chest. Jane's camera suddenly shifted again. It was shaky and out of focus and I couldn't make out anything that was going on. Then all of a sudden the camera lurched and went spinning and spiraling making my head feel dizzy and my stomach churn. Then the feed went black. Both Frost and I were speechless. We stared at the black screen with our eyes wide and our muscles tensed. My jaw was hanging open.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" I exclaimed.

"I dunno, the camera must have fallen off and broken," Frost moaned.

He leaned his elbows on the desk and hung his head heavily in his hands. Now it was his turn for his leg to shake uncontrollably. I was looking at him in bewilderment. I was waiting for an explanation, answers, directions or something..._anything_. But Frost seemed almost as worked up as me now! I grew furious with him.

"NOW WHAT!" I roared.

Frost sighed and looked back up at Korsak's screen. Nothing had changed from Korsak's camera view. There was still no Jane on stage. I was growing hysterical with fright.

"It's now up to Korsak; he'll keep an eye on Jane while she's in there. He's smart enough to keep his camera trained on her. Maybe he'll know to get her alone under the guise of a private lap dance and tell her to how to get the sample..."

"...FUCK THE GODDAMN SAMPLE!" I raged at Frost.

Frost looked at me startled. His eyes were HUGE and a little bit frightened. My chest was heaving in my disgust and impatience and fury. I was so _sick_ of this case. I was sick of the inanity. I was sick of everyone's egoism. I didn't know exactly what Frost's motives were in keeping Jane in that position, but I knew damn well it wasn't for her safety at this point. I cursed hatefully under my breath. I punched the wall of the van in my anger. Why did I let Frost talk me into giving Jane a damn camera instead of figuring out how to get her the hell out of there? I knew that wasn't what Maura wanted and I hated to think of all the ways she would punish me for my judgment if something happened to Jane. Why was I sitting in this van wasting time, waiting for Jane to strip naked for those cocksuckers in that place? Why was I always such a coward? Why wasn't I a better man, a better friend? Why did I let it come to this?

"James, take it easy," Frost said eyeing me worriedly.

I swore angrily again. I looked back at Korsak's camera feed and sighed when I saw Jane still wasn't on stage.

Something could be happening to her, something was wrong. That thing with her camera was so weird and now we couldn't see anything. I gritted my teeth and my heart hardened. I set my jaw and glared at Frost. I was done fucking around. No more hide and fucking seek with the damn cameras.

"I'm going back in there and see what's going on!" I hissed at Frost.

I could feel my face burning. I could feel my cheeks flush. I could feel my jaw tightening. Frost's face looked panicked.

"It's too dangerous..."

"... OH _fuck_ that! You can hide in here if you want you little shit but I'm going in there! AND you can explain to Maura what happened to Jane if something really is wrong and good luck with that! Give me one of those damn camera things!" I demanded. "And an earpiece,"

Frost groaned.

"I only had the two cameras, but I've got an extra earpiece. You can't go starting trouble" Frost insisted as he handed me the earpiece. "You're not trained to handle it..." Frost tried to discourage me but I was over listening to other people.

If something happened to Jane I had a long list of people's asses to kick and Frost was quickly climbing his way to the top. I stuffed the smoke canister into my jacket and sprang from the van slamming the door closed behind me. I ran across the street as fast I could go. Jane was in the back of the club. Maybe I could sneak into a back entrance and get her the fuck out of that place. I ducked and dodged behind parked cars scampering around like a thief trying to avoid detection. I made a wide circle around the side of the club avoiding the nasty bikers milling around outside and hid behind the dumpsters when I got to the back. Lucky for me, no one was at the back of the club. It was in an alley, a very gross looking alley that smell suspiciously like piss and vomit. There was trash and evidence of used contraband everywhere. I saw needles on the ground, used condoms and what were probably crack pipes. I cursed and swore when I stepped on one. I felt my skin crawl and I was starting to gag from the smell in the alley. I couldn't _believe_ what the hell I was doing. I couldn't believe I was being reduced to this. I shuddered to think of what my wife would say if she knew. There was no amount of money Maura could pay me to compensate for the reality of my life in this moment and what I was willing to do and sacrifice to get to Jane. I was pissed off none the less though. It should have never come to _this_! If I died tonight and left my depressed wife alone with my three kids I swore in my heart to haunt Maura from my grave. I looked around frantically making sure the coast was clear. No cars came back here except trucks for loading and unloading supplies to the little shops of horror up and down the alley in the mornings. I took a deep breath and wished I still had my Taser. It wasn't a gun but it was something. I didn't believe in violence...but there were exceptions to every rule and one was being able to defend those I cared for. I was getting Jane out of this place if I had to drop kick bikers in the fucking face. I steeled my nerves and popped in my ear piece.

"Frost can you hear me?" I said frantically.

"Loud and clear," His voice sounded in my ear.

"I'm at the back, there's no one around. I'm going to try and get to the door and get inside to Jane." I said.

"James, please be careful man. If anything is wrong or goes wide of the mark tell me immediately and I'll call in back up for ya buddy." Frost assured me.

I nodded my head in response. It was taking everything I had left in me to think straight. My nerves were at their peak. My heart hurt in my chest. I worked hard to steady my breath. I wiped my sweaty palms on my too tight jeans and wiggled my fingers in anticipation. This was it. I was going in this place. I ran out from behind the dumpster straight for the door. I was grateful that no one was around. I reached the door without incident, thrilled that my plan was working. I reached for a door handle and stopped short when I realized there wasn't one. The door only opened from the inside unless you had a key. I cursed and kicked the door in my rage.

"FUCK!" I screamed.

I spun around cursing and fuming. My teeth hurt due to my jaw clenching so tightly. My chest heaved and my mind raced. I was just about to run for the front entrance when I thought I heard someone screaming. A woman's voice. Jane's voice. She sounded hysterical. But the voice was so weak. It was getting softer, like she was moving away from me. I slammed my body against the door and pressed my ear flat against its surface listening desperately for confirmation that I'd heard exactly what I thought I did. I was frightened. That scream, even though it was faint it chilled my blood to the core. My hair stood on end. I couldn't get this fucking door open. I didn't hear anything else, but something in my soul was driving me to take action. I banged and pounded on the door furiously but there was no answer, only silence. Something in my heart was sending my mind spinning with thoughts of all manner of horrible possibilities as to what could be happening. That scream, God that scream was making me lose what was left of my mind. I stepped back from the door in shock and fear. I just stared at it a moment. My mind was such a whirlwind it was hard to process specific thoughts. I remembered I had an earpiece in my ear.

"Frost... call for backup... something's wrong... something's happened to Jane!" I screamed loudly.

I was surprised at how frightened my voice sounded. It trembled and shook with unsteadiness. The scream... something about that scream! I felt something wet on my face. I touched my cheeks and realized tears were streaming from my eyes. I wiped them away furiously, growing angry at my fear.

"What happened...what's going on? Are you inside?" Frost's voice sounded frantic.

I jumped to my senses. I didn't have time to break down crying like a child. I'd save that for another day. I had to be brave now. I had to save the girl. I had to get to Jane.

"I heard a scream..." I shouted as I ran around the front of the club. "You have to call for backup, we have to get Jane!"

My arms and legs were pumping with a fury. I ran like a track star. I'd never moved so fast in my entire life and I was a wide receiver on my college football team. I sprang around the front of the club slipping and sliding as I took the corner. I skidded and caught myself from falling just barely. I ran right up to the bouncer again and shoved all the rest of my cash into his hands before bursting into the club without so much as a word. I stalked right towards the door by the stage. My back was straight and my head was held high. My eyes were wild with determination. I bumped the people in my way with my shoulder not bothering to apologize. Eyes went wide as I passed. Questioning and hateful looks followed my movements. I was crazed in my desperation at this point. I don't know what came over me, but I can only describe it as primal, guttural instinct. Jane was in trouble, I knew it in the depths of me. All my frustration and all my anger that had built since Jane begged me to spy on Maura with her caught fire and burned me up from the inside driving me to act. I wasn't taking any more of anyone else's crap! I was done with this asinine bullshit and no one better get in my way. I walked right toward the backstage door until I was stopped short again by the same man that stopped me earlier.

"The pussy is back to play with the big boys," the man taunted me.

He was well into the alcohol now. A crowd was quickly gathering around to watch the spectacle between him and me. Several of his cronies surrounded us. All bulky, fetid men decked out in leather and denim with ugly untrimmed beards. I was not afraid at all this time. I was a bullet train and they were in my way. I was a bullet train and they were in my way! I would bowl them over in an instant. The angry violent person of my youth I fought so hard for so many years to keep buried away inside me came boiling over in the heat of my passion to get to Jane. I locked the most hateful gaze at the man in my way. I felt a chill run down my spine, an effect of my own bloodcurdling thoughts of violence. I thought I saw the man flinch a little as he looked at me. His eyes weren't so certain anymore. I stared him down, my chest heaving, my muscles engorged with blood, my eyes popping from their sockets.

"Get the fuck out of my way and take me to Emily **NOW**!" I said in the most chilling voice I'd ever heard.

I knew right then, facing the man standing between me and Jane's salvation, that there was absolutely nothing I was not incapable of doing. Violence they say is basic, every man and every woman is capable of extreme violence under the right amount of stress or proper motivation. Maura told me that one time. I thought of Maura again, I heard Jane's scream replay in my head. My body shivered at the thought. I stepped closer to the man, my eyes ablaze with fury. I could see red I was so driven by loathing and determination. There was a sound escaping me, a deep growl in my throat, fire and ice was the feeling in my soul. The man in front of me had only alcohol in his veins, I could take him in an instant and I knew it, but he was too foolish to back down. He was motivated by another instinct, pack instinct and pride. His eyes spoke of fear to me, but he sneered in my face anyway. He had his cronies behind him.

"Oh yeah... that sweet little Emily. Don't worry... my boy's back there taking real good care of her," the man laughed in my face.

All the other bikers laughed too. Their laughter cut me to the quick. It was menacing, unseemly, malicious, dangerous, and spiteful to my ears. Fear for Jane engulfed me. Something in that man's sentence sent waves of fury and disgust through my veins.

"GO get her **now **_asshole_...she's MINE!" I roared at the man.

Everyone laughed again. I felt the animals close in around me, circling me, waiting to devour me like a hungry pack circles preparing to devour its prey. The man in front of me laughed the hardest. He pulled a wad of cash from his pocket and threw it in my face.

"Here's for the girl. That should cover all of us. We'll fuck that whore real good for ya; you won't want her back by the time we're done." The man sneered.

Jeering laughter erupted around me again. Blinding rage enveloped me. I was a flash of lightening. My adrenaline exploded. My mind, body, and heart were one. Every part of me was in communion with my fury, in sync with my desire, a slave to my will. I let out a heart stopping roar. I felt the power of it down to the tips of my toe nails. I saw only blood. I punched the man in front of me so hard I felt his jaw shatter beneath the onslaught of my fist. The man dropped to the floor, knocked out clean and completely immobilized. I flew for the backstage door but three men jumped on me. I was punched in the stomach so hard I doubled over. I felt a pool stick smash the back of my head, I took a kick to the ribs but I would not be stopped. My adrenaline could not be matched. I became a whirl of fists. My martial arts' training was my only savior. Men came at me from every angle. I spun, ducked, kicked and punched. I screamed and cursed at them in fury and rage. They could _not_ have Jane. She was _not_ a whore. She was my friend, my sister's lover. She had a daughter, and a home, and people that loved her. She had a life with hopes, dreams and so much to live for. She didn't deserve to suffer any longer; she'd suffered so much already, far _too_ much. And all her suffering was caused at the hands of these fucking maniacs. I would not let them bring more pain down on her.

I was a man possessed. I was fighting for one I held dear. I took as many blows as I gave but I did not falter. I spun around one man and pushed him into the punch of another. I grabbed a pool stick from the rack and broke it immediately over the next man's head that attacked me. I smashed beer bottles in the faces of men twice my size. I broke noses, I broke jaws, I broke arms, I broke fingers, I broke spirits, and I broke pride. This sissy boy would make a stand on this night. The bikers came and came, some with weapons, all with promises of retribution but as beaten and broken as I was, I just could not stop. I would not lie down. My body refused to quit. I suffered, my hands bled, my knuckles were broken and busted, my head streamed blood, my face a punching bag...but I just couldn't stop. Jane's scream...that scream would not leave my mind. The entire club erupted in violence. I was in a state barely of this earth. I was in a higher place where there was no pain, there was nothing but the enemy in front of me and the need to vanquish them. I was vaguely aware that Detective Korsak was right beside me, fighting for his life and mine. He gave as many blows as he received. Younger men dropped before this old detective's might. Korsak was beast, I couldn't believe he held so much power. Women shrieked in terror. Cowards backed away trembling in fear. We were thunder and lightning. I wasn't fighting for me; I'd never have the strength to face this horde for myself alone. These foolish bikers had made a mistake, a terrible mistake. They threatened something above them, beyond them, something and someone that didn't belong to them...they would pay...with their lives if necessary. I would see to that, Korsak would see to that, Maura would see to that, even Frost would see to that. But still that scream would not stop playing in my mind. I had to get to Jane...I _had_ to get to Jane.

The mania in the club all around me was insanity. It was sheer and utter chaos. Korsak and I were battling enemies at every turn. As soon as one fell there was another to take their place. We could not hold them at bay for long. I was nearing the end of my strength. My chest heaved so rapidly my vision was becoming hazy or perhaps that was due to the many blows to my face and head. Either way, our situation was dire, Jane's situation was dire. Help must come for us or we would surely fall.

"FROST" I screamed, "CALL FOR BACKUP...CALL FOR BACKUP!"

"They're already on their way!" Frost yelled back into my ear piece.

He sounded frantic, he sounded out of breath, and he sounded like he was running. I didn't have time to speak to him more because the man nearest me stopped short just before he smashed a bottle over my head. His eyes went wide, his jaw went slack, I knew he heard me scream for backup.

"COPS!" He screamed, "COPS! THEY'RE COPS!"

The man jumped up and down and pointed at Korsak and I. Fear gripped me. I punched the man in the face so hard he dropped like a sack of potatoes, but the damage was done. Hysteria broke out. People were running and screaming everywhere. People were getting trampled trying to get to the exits. I saw a path open up toward the backstage door and I ran for it. I reached the door and pulled at it with all my might but it was locked. I cursed and roared with frightening fury. I kicked at the door so hard the entire door frame shook and bent. I heard shots fire behind me. I spun around terrified. I spotted Detective Korsak wrestling with a man with a gun. Two more men were coming at Korsak; one had a knife and the other a very large bat. I screamed in fury. I had to get to Jane, but I couldn't leave the officer alone. My mind raced. Pandemonium was everywhere. People ran around running into one another snatching bottles from behind the bar, random fights broke out all over the place, women were screaming. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion, like some kind of bad dream with racing, disjointed pictures. I felt a ringing in my ears from so many blows to my head. I shook my head to try and shake the sense back in. I remembered the smoke canister in my pocket. I reached for it and pulled the pin throwing it right in the middle of Korsak and the man he was wrestling with the gun. Smoke poured from the canister. I jumped over three bodies and kicked a man in the chest that was coming at Korsak with the knife. Detective Frost suddenly appeared absent his suit jacket and hit the man with the bat in the face so hard with his elbow that a loud cracking noise was heard on impact. I kicked the man with the gun in the back of the knee and he lost his balance. Korsak kneed him in the throat and the man collapsed to the ground coughing and spitting blood. I went at several more men but it was hard to breath. The tears gas was filling the room making my eyes water and scream in pain, my skin burned like fire, my nose ran snot like a water fountain. I choked and coughed and stumbled and spit.I fell to my knees exhausted and debilitated by the gas. I felt cheated and defeated, I couldn't see, I couldn't get to Jane, but her screams...GOD her screams. I cursed and raged and cried. I crawled around trying to feel my way toward the backstage door but the room was so filled with smoke it was impossible to tell one direction from another. I heard people gasping and dropping all around me as the gas overcame them. The noise of fighting and rage became the noises of terror and desperation. I felt the world spin before my burning eyes, my muscles cramping and aching on the verge of giving out completely. I crawled around whimpering desperate to find the backstage door when suddenly I felt strong arms grab my collar lifting me to my feet and pushing a towel against my face. I was being pulled somewhere, but I couldn't see where. There was too much smoke. I wanted to struggle but the hands holding me were gentle, not violent. I was led through the backstage door where the air was cleaner and the door was promptly closed behind me. I leaned over, grasping my knees; I coughed and spit up repeatedly, choking on the horrible smoke until I just finally vomited. Blood poured down my neck and face from a blow I took to the back of the head. Everything hurt, my whole body hurt. My chest heaved and my limbs trembled. My eyes burned so badly I couldn't even open them. Tears streamed down my face.

People were screaming at me. Two men... one voice soft, one deep and strong. It sounded like Gerald Ingles...and that little man Henry. Henry was saying something about Emily. Who the hell was Emily? Wait...it was Jane...that's right _Jane_. Oh God Jane! Where was she...I had to get to her...I had to get to her...she needed me...where was she? I forced my eyes open through the burning. I forced my body upright and my back straight. I forced my lungs to take deep breaths. I wiped the snot from my nose with the towel Gerald gave me. I could barely see. My vision was blurry. The hallway was dark and dingy; the air was still thick with the smell of the tear gas. A shadowy group of people slowly came into focus down the hallway. Someone was on the floor. A woman. I stumbled forward, shuffling my feet. I was off balance and awkward in motion. I leaned heavily against the wall to keep from falling. There was something on the floor...blood...so much blood. Terror seized me again. The blood led right to the woman on the floor. Henry was screaming at Emily to get up. He kept saying that name Emily...Emily wasn't her name...her name was Jane. It was Jane.

"...Get up Emily...GET UP!" Henry cried.

His voice was so shrill. He sounded hysterical. Why was he crying so hard? Why was he bleeding? Jane, what was wrong with Jane? So much blood. I kept stumbling forward. Gerald Ingles' face was stunned. He took off his jacket and wrapped Jane's body. I couldn't see Jane clearly. He was blocking my view, but I suddenly stopped moving. I opened my eyes as wide as they would go. There was so much blood..._so_ much blood. I could see Jane's feet, there was blood running down her legs all the way to her ankles. My entire body began to tremble. I heard her coughing. It sounded like she was choking. I felt my eyes water, but this time it had nothing to do with the tear gas. I collapsed to my knees and crawled to Jane. I shoved Gerald and Henry away roughly, gasping when I saw Jane's broken and beaten body.

"**NO**...no Jane...no...NO! NO! NO!" I wept uncontrollably.

I let out a sound from inside me I didn't know I was capable of making. I never felt such dismay; I'd never seen such violent torment, such harm, such reprehensible abuse to a person. Jane's body was devastating to look upon. Her arm was twisted grossly at her side, her entire torso was purple and bruised, her face was covered in blood, and her hair was soaked in the red sticky blood. Her thighs were...oh my God…I broke down into tears. Why didn't I get to her sooner? I _despised_ myself. I tried so hard, I fought so hard, I did everything I could think of to do and still..._still_! My heart felt broken, my body exhausted in every way, my hope shattered. Jane coughed and blood gurgled from her mouth. I cried and sobbed, I wanted to comfort her, and hold her, and wrap her in my arms but I was so afraid to touch her. I didn't want to cause her more pain. Her eyes were rolling back in her head; she was shaking profusely and breathing shallow labored breaths. Anguish broke me. I whispered her name over and over, begging her to be ok, promising her everything would be ok.

"I'm here, Jane...it's me James...Jane I'm here." I whispered in her ear.

But the words brought no comfort; I doubted Jane could hear me anyway. I detested myself for what happened to her. I leaned over and kissed her forehead softly.

"Maura's coming...hold on Jane...Maura's coming. She loves you so much..._so_ much! And Angela, she loves you and she needs you. She _needs_ you Jane...you gotta hold on! Angela's so pretty Jane, she looks just like you. She's got your hair, and your eyes, and your smile. She lights up when you walk in the room, she's such a brave girl and strong just like you. She made it through her surgery, she made it through the pain...Jane you gotta do it too...you gotta be strong, she needs you, Maura needs you." I pleaded with Jane tears streaming down my face.

Jane turned her head and looked at me through unfocused distant eyes. She was fading, hurting, drifting into the darkness. My lips trembled as I leaned over her. I didn't want her to leave, I wanted her to live, I wanted her to be happy, and I wanted her daughter to have a mother and Maura to have a partner. I cried harder as I watched the darkness consume her. I brushed her hair from her face but my hand was shaking so violently I cursed in anger. I wrapped Gerald's jacket around her tighter. I didn't want to see her bruised body. I didn't want to imagine what happened to her. It hurt too much, _so_ much.

"Just think of Angela. Think of Maura. Think of how much they love you," I whispered gently, my voice choked and splintered with grief.

I tried to wipe the blood now pouring from her mouth with my towel. Jane looked up at me. I thought I saw her try to smile. She kind of squeezed my hand but she had no strength. I held hers as tightly as I could. I rocked back and forth, back and forth. I cried and said her name. I cursed myself and Maura and Frost and Korsak and especially the motherfucker that did this to her. I vowed for justice. I demanded all manner of retribution and suffering to those that had ever caused this to happen. I cursed God and everything I once thought was good. Why was this happening to Jane, not Jane...not sweet, funny, playful, sarcastic Jane. She tried to speak, but only more blood pooled from her mouth. I gently pulled her closer to me and dabbed at her face. I wanted to clean her up. I wanted her to be beautiful again. I wanted to see her smile. I wanted to hear her laugh. I wanted to see her play with her daughter. I wanted to see Maura smile when Jane told her she loved her. I wanted Maura to kiss her. I wanted Maura to love her. I wanted them to be happy. I wanted Jane to be ok...I just wanted her to be _ok_! I held her hand to my face and kissed her wrist.

"I'm so sorry Jane. I should have been here. I should have never let you come here. I should have watched you closer. I should have made Maura see. I should have made Maura stop. I'm so sorry Jane...I'm so very sorry J-J..." I collapsed into tears again.

I couldn't speak through my pain any longer. I felt Jane's fingers on my face. She brushed my cheek with her thumb; she tried to smile at me again.

"Where's M-M-Maura, s-s-s-she hate me? T-T-Tell her I love her J-James. I love h-her. My baby...I wanna s-see my baby...Angela...Angela..." She whispered.

I could barely hear her. Her voice had no strength. I swallowed many times, the lump in my throat choking me. The tears in my eyes burned my cheeks. Jane's soft words cut me. I tried to smile though I felt weary and spent.

"Don't talk like that Jane, Maura could never hate you, she loves you so much. You know she loves you, I know you do. You're gonna get better and Angela and Maura are going to be so happy. When you wake up...she'll be right there, giggling and laughing like she does every time she sees you. Just go to sleep now Jane, go to sleep and dream of them, when you wake up, it will all be ok. You'll see. Maura will protect you...she loves you!" I said rubbing Jane's hand. My voice was so shaky I would barely speak. I wanted to think she heard me; I wanted to think she was smiling but she was just so broken.

She started to weep but she coughed so hard my heart seized in terror. Her teeth were red and she had a mouth full of blood that gurgled every time she tried to speak. I turned her head so she didn't choke anymore. I cried as more blood poured out of her mouth. I shook my head and forced myself not to curse and scream. The light in Jane's eyes was gone. She just looked hollow, empty, lost and hopeless. I tried to remind her of Angela and Maura. I tried to remind her she had so much to live for. I tried to tell her heaven wasn't ready for her yet, that she was strong, that she was wonderful, that she couldn't leave her baby alone, but the darkness in her eyes was a pool of blackness beyond my reach. Tears streamed from her eyes leaving streaks through the blood that covered her face. Her neck was bruised like she'd been choked. Her mouth worked but no words came out anymore. I could hardly bare to look anymore. I closed my eyes against the sight of her pain and suffering. My lips trembled and my chin quivered and I sobbed softly to myself. I held her hand so tightly, her fingers growing colder. I didn't even hear the police kick down the back door. I didn't hear the footsteps stampeding down the hallway. I didn't notice anything until the EMT'S tried to pull me away from Jane. I was manic; I didn't want to leave her. Not again. Not again. I wouldn't fail her again. I kicked, punched and screamed and tried to get away but I couldn't break free of them. I was pushed back against the wall and held firmly by my chest. I saw Detective Korsak's face in front of me through my tears.

"James calm down buddy, we'll get Jane the help she needs but you have to keep cool. You're a hero today James, you saved lives today. You're a fine man," Detective Korsak said firmly.

I looked at him like he was crazy. What the fuck was he talking about? I was no hero. Heroes save the girl. Heroes stand up for what's right before it's too late. I was no fucking hero and I hated Detective Korsak for saying so. I slapped his hand away from me and wiped at my tears. I heard Maura's voice.

She was screaming next to Jane. She was falling apart. She was breaking down completely. She was crippled with grief. Her screams wrenched at my heart. They were terrible to hear. The EMT's were trying to move Jane but Maura wouldn't let her go. She was doubled over in grief. She laid her body across Jane's and held her as tightly as she could. Maura kissed Jane's face over and over begging her to get up, to be ok, screaming apoligies, crying from the depths of her soul. Maura kept running her hand through Jane's hair, her fingers were sticky and red, her clothes covered in blood, her body shaking with grief. People were pleading with Maura, begging her to back away. But Maura heard no one. She saw nothing but the broken body of her lover and was shattered. I wiped my tears. I had to be strong again even though I just wanted to lie down and sleep. Korsak and Frost looked away from Maura. Their faces strained and pinched in dismay and guilt. I went over and sat next to Maura, my oldest friend and sister. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her into my body crushing her in a hug. Maura screamed and cried begging to be released. She reached for Jane, but I held her firmly and did not let go. She cried Jane's name over and over while the EMT's strapped Jane to a board and lifted her onto the transport bed. I held Maura firmly. I felt her body, her every muscle quaking in grief, trembling with hysterical cries. Her hot tears dotted my arms, her screams...God her screams. I pulled her face into my chest and rocked her slowly as the EMT's rushed Jane down the hallway. Maura screamed louder and louder as Jane was taken away. Furious, she started slapping wildly at me with both hands, her eyes frenetic and frightened. She was distraught and filled with anguish, remorse and so much agony.

"Why didn't you get here sooner?! How could you let this happen?! I told you to get her out of here! I _trusted_ you...I _trusted_ you!" She raged at me. Maura's eyes were on fire. She looked like she wanted to kill me, gouge out my eyes, and rip out my heart. I cried and wept as she beat on me, but I did not stop her. I let her hit me. I hated myself just as much as she hated me in this moment. I hated life itself right then. Maura screamed and cursed me, her hysteria and crying breaking my heart.

"I **HATE** YOU...I **HATE** YOU...I **HATE** YOU!" Maura screeched as she berated me.

Her slapping stung my face. Her nails scourged and scratched my skin. Her words cut me deeply, but it was the pain in her eyes that crippled me. It was the torment I saw, the self-loathing. It was her voice, high and shrill and heartbroken that broke my spirit. Everyone around us was staring, gape jawed and wide eyed. I felt my eyes leaking tears again as my longest friend beat and tormented my already broken soul. But I understood her suffering. I wrapped Maura in my arms again and hugged her as tightly as I could. She fell into me, hugging me back, saying Jane's name over and over and sobbing from the depths of her soul. I lifted her in my arms as I stood to my feet. I walked down the dark, dingy, blood streaked hallway filled with officers and detectives and medical personnel. Some were crying, some hung their heads and some just seemed to stare at nothing in particular. My eyes were blank, my body broken and tired, my mind spent of all emotion. I walked with my friend in my arms until Gerald Ingles took her from me. I walked until my legs gave out beneath me. I fell to the floor exhausted, my body beaten, my heart broken. I thought of my wife Molly. The world faded away.

**A/N: I know that was long and sad at the end...but please review! I love you guys. Peace**


	29. I'll Fight for You

** A/N: So I understand after last chapter a lot of people got angry and stopped reading and that's fine. I get it...some people can't handle the darkness. It will not be awful forever...I promise. Bad things do happen to good people sometimes, but most don't lay down and die...they get up at some point and keep going. Besides...Jane has Maura...I mean really...who doesn't want a Maura in their life? Anyway...this one is LONG! So blot out an hour of your time...LOL! Anyway...with all that being said here we go!**

**Maura**

The room was chilly, almost icy. Perhaps that was just a reflection of what was going on inside me. I had a feeling of icy hatred in my heart that not even the fires of hell could melt. The air around me was still and stagnant. Undulations of fury hung on me like the shadows of a murky lake. The other people in the room were quiet. They spoke only in whispers; they only addressed me if absolutely necessary. Their eyes avoided me, heads hung as they went about their work. They gave me a wide berth, being careful not to stir the anger radiating from my mind and body. I stood still, not moving, barely breathing. My eyes were locked on Jane's face, my beautiful Jane. The face that I love, admire, cherish, and held above all others was beaten, battered and bruised. Her left eye was swollen shut; she had seven stitches on her forehead from a brutal gash. Her hair was matted in blood. Her mouth was stuffed with gauze since her tongue had to be sewn back together... it took eight stitches. Jane lay on the bed naked and exposed underneath a thin, white sheet. I hadn't been the one to remove her clothing. I wasn't allowed to touch her yet. I couldn't taint any evidence that man...that fucking maniac left on her body. I could only stand by and watch. My mind was tortured by what my eyes had to bare. I had to watch the nurse strip her, bag her clothes, photograph her body...every single part of her body. I stood still as a hot summer night as the nurse and Addison took pictures of parts of Jane that were meant to be seen only by me. I bit my tongue; My trembling fingers formed fists as they swabbed her skin, swabbed inside her mouth, clipped her nails, combed and cut her pubic hair, and dragged a comb through her long dark locks the best they could through the dried blood. They charted all her injuries taking copious notes through the invasive examination of Jane's precious body.

I turned my face to the wall when Addison began to perform the pelvic exam, I could not look. That place was meant for me, only for me. Yet I stood powerless, helpless. The tears that my anger finally dried threatened to come back and overtake me. I was seething. My heart was broken. I wanted to rage against someone, something...anything. I wanted to storm from the hospital and break the neck of the man that hurt my Jane. I wanted to kill him...dear God...I wanted to kill him. I looked back at Jane's face; she almost looked serene, sleeping in this moment and I was grateful for it. It was small solace in the face of despair, to make sure Jane slept through the degradation of this exam. I could not touch her yet, I could not hold her yet, and I could not wrap her in my arms and cry into her soft curly hair the way I wanted to so much. I could not heal her wounds. I could not erase her memory. The sound of her laughter was a distant dream I could only pray I might be blessed to hear again. I could not see her pout when I annoyed her, or roll her eyes when she thought I was being silly. I could not hear her tell a joke. I could not watch her play with our daughter. I could not make love to her and hear her soft cries for me long into the night until we lay spent and exhausted in a world of bliss that belonged only to us. I did not know if we would ever know those precious moments again. That man...that awful maniac had stolen something from me and everything from Jane.

I reached out with a shaking hand to touch her beautiful face, but I stopped just short, my fingers trembling just before they reached her lips. I knew I could not touch her yet until Addison said it was ok. Chain of custody and evidence gathering was something I completely understood and I knew first-hand the importance of handling it competently. I'd performed this same exam on other women more times than I cared to count. Though I knew full well why this was necessary, it still did not make what was happening easier; it made it worse. It made what happened to Jane all to real. I turned my head to the wall quickly as tears streamed down my face. I did not want anyone to see me cry. I had to be resilient; I _had_ to stay strong for Jane and our family. I had decisions to make. I had to fight for Jane with all my might even though the site of her injuries and knowing what she went through made me shatter inside. My soul was consumed with tormenting pain and anger the likes of which I had never known. But I would not break. I would not give that disgusting man the satisfaction of destroying me. My feelings of hatred for him were real, but he would not own my pain, he did not control my heart, I would not fall apart. He may have taken Jane's body, but he could not have her life. He may have violated her, but he would not bring shame upon her. He may have broken her bones, but he would not break my spirit or my love for the woman that had brought me to life. He would not haunt my dreams; I would vanquish him in spirit and truth. For his offenses, he would surely suffer.

Jane was mine, and she always would be. I thought the words over and over in my head 'Jane is mine!' She never gave up even while he beat her, she did not lie down and she did not submit to him. She knew she was meant for a higher purpose, she knew there were those that loved her, cherished her, and could not abide her suffering. She had fought with every bit of her strength. She had fought for her life, for her daughter, for me. Deep down inside...I knew she had fought for me. She was only in that club for me, to protect me because she loved me and for her love she had suffered greatly. For that same love I too suffered. But Jane had fought all she could, the battle for her body and our love a bloody stalemate. The beast lay injured but he had not suffered enough, not nearly enough. As long as he drew breath unpunished it was an insult to Jane and torturous for me. It was my turn now to blow the horn of war, and I would unleash a wrath of unspeakable force onto the swine responsible for this...this...abhorrent, detestable savagery! But for now my place was with Jane. I refused to leave her side even when Addison begged me to step out during the rape kit. I would not go, I said no words and I didn't look into Addison's eyes. I planted my feet, defiantly lifted my chin, and steadied my gaze on Jane's face. The power of God could not have pulled me from Jane's side. Addison did not ask me anymore to leave. She did not speak to me at all. Addison understood me well enough to know when I would not be moved.

It was devastating to look upon her body. I could not stop thinking of all the times I had kissed the places that were now injured and damaged beyond recognition. I couldn't stop thinking of how much Jane had suffered. I couldn't stop thinking of how much I wanted to collapse to the floor and wail from the depths of my heart. My eyes rolled tears as I watched her sleep, oblivious to the invasion of her privacy and the pain in her body and I could not have been more grateful for that small mercy. I don't know where I found the strength, but I smiled at her gorgeous face. Jane was the love of my life, and I had waited forever to find her. She was a priceless and precious treasure. I wanted to comfort her, love her, protect her and heal her. I could not rid my mind of its yearning to drive a stake through the heart of the man that had touched her. I wanted to grab him by the throat and break his neck. I wanted to unleash every molecule of my hatred for him on his body and destroy him through and through. Look what he did to my Janie. Look what he did to my baby. Look what he did to my little princess. I vowed to see him suffer. I yearned for it from the deepest parts of me. I swore it from the depths of my soul. I screamed for the universe to see and hear me. I prayed for the ultimate justice and vengeance to every God known and unknown. I prayed for the strongest castigation be told to the animalistic bastard that had dared hurt Jane. I would deliver these things myself. I would not rest another day until justice was carried out. I would not falter, I would not quit, I would get vengeance for Jane and it would be cold, hard, and cruel. As I watched Jane lay, her body beaten and broken, I thought the only words that gave me peace, "_I'm coming for you motherfucker."_

But in this moment, and for however long it would take, I had to see Jane through her darkest hour. As I watched her sleep my mind wandered through the happy times I'd spent with Jane. I thought of the first time I kissed her when she was covered in food crying tears over the dinner she so selflessly tried to make me and ruined. I remember how sweet and innocent her eyes looked and how devastated she was at the thought that she had failed me somehow. I remember how my heart soared and melted at the same time when I kissed her through her tears and her body melted into mine. I thought of the time she tried to teach me to ride a bike and how patient and funny she had been. I thought of how proudly she presented me the little pink bike her chest poking out and her smile splitting her face. I remember how I ran into her arms as excited as a child and overwhelmed with love. I thought of how Jane helped me find the courage to return to the Foundation Fundraiser after my humiliation and how we expressed our love the entire night afterward. It was our very first time, so beautiful it brought me to tears. I thought of how I fell asleep with Jane inside me, covering me with her body and with her love. I had never known true ecstasy until that night. I thought of the day we brought Angela home and the stunning smile on Jane's face. I thought of the moment when Jane opened the box and found Franklin Thomas inside. I smiled when I thought of that. I wondered if she was thinking of those things too. I hoped so. I prayed so. I was brought from my thoughts when Addison's voice broke the silence of the room.

"Maura, everything has been completed besides the pelvic exam, so you can touch her if you like," she said softly.

Addison tried to smile at me encouragingly, but her face fell when my cold, grey eyes found hers. It looked like Addison's heart broke when our eyes met. I saw the light in her eyes dim and her pretty face sagged and her mouth turned down as she studied me. Her expression made me want to cry. She looked at me like I was fire and ice. She looked at me like I'd shattered into shards. I felt as though something fragmented inside me. But whatever Addison may have thought she saw in my face, and whatever I was feeling inside, I was still Dr. Maura Isles, and Jane needed me to be exactly that person. I don't care how broken or hurt I was...I would not fail Jane again. I tried to speak but the words caught in my throat. I nodded my head toward Addison and turned my attention back to Jane. I sat on the bed at Jane's left side because her right arm was broken and immobilized in a temporary cast. I took Jane's hand in my own, the one that had been stripped of its skin and ravaged by splinters and shards of wood. I kissed her damaged fingers. Some of her nails were missing I noticed, tears streamed down my face. I did not bother to wipe them away. I cried silently. I let my tears fall on the fabric of my scrubs and the skin of Jane's fingers. I prayed Jane knew I was here. I prayed she could feel me in the peaceful place where her mind rested. I prayed she knew how much I loved her... would continue to love her...always…forever. I kissed her bruised cheek softly, several times; my lips trembled as they found her soft skin. I sobbed quietly in the crook of her neck; I kissed her over and over. I don't know why I couldn't make my lips part from her. But I couldn't stop; I wanted her to feel me and I _needed_ to feel her. I needed to feel the warmth of her body and the rush of life blood in her veins. I needed to know she was still with me, that I still had a chance to bring her peace when her mind returned to the hellish darkness of her reality. I wanted her to know she was still mine...I would always love her...always.

I ran my hands along her long dark locks. I remembered how much Jane loved it when I did that. I remembered how Jane would snuggle up next to me at night and fall asleep with my fingers running through her hair. I remembered the way she'd tell me she loved me every night, just at the very moment before sleep came to her tired eyes. I remembered the way I would whisper 'I love you too princess' and the feeling of Jane's hair on my cheek as I fell asleep with her body wrapped in my arms. I loved to hold her when we slept. My body shook with my tears and memories. I gently kissed Jane's swollen lips the best I could. I wanted to taste her, she was mine.

I remembered the last time I saw Jane at home and the look on her face. I remember the way she cried desperately for me to stay with her. I remember the tears that streamed from her eyes. I remember how distressed she looked, how frightened, the agony. But I did not stay; I left her there, shivering, dejected, and inconsolable on our dining room floor. I had not kissed her right before I left and earlier kisses meant to calm did no good in the face of my abandoning her when she needed me most. I buried my face in her hair and cried with all the throbbing I felt in my heart. I should have stayed, I should have kissed her more and I should never have left her. Now look at my baby...my sweet precious Jane. I wiped furiously at the remnants of blood on Jane's face. I had to clean her up. Jane loved to be pretty. I wanted her to be beautiful and happy again. I kissed her over and over as I cleaned her face with a cool damp rag.

"Little princess," I started to speak softly to her. My voice was hoarse and unsteady. "I love you so very much...you know that don't you? You know I love you. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you that yesterday...I'm sorry I left you Janie. I'm so s-sorry. But I'm here now honey, I'm never going to leave you again. Addison's here sweetheart and she's taking really good care of you. James is here. Angela's at home sleeping safe and sound in her bed. You will be ok baby girl. You're so strong, you can do this, you can get better...I _know_ it. They told me how hard you fought. They told me what you did to that man. I know you're hurting honey, I see how you suffered..."

I had to stop speaking and steady myself. My voice was trembling and cracking. I closed my eyes and fought down my tears. I swallowed many times. I cupped Jane's swollen face in my shaky hand and kissed her cheek again. My tears dotted her face, freshly cleaned of all the blood. I looked down at her through glossy tear filled eyes. I placed my hand over her heart and smiled when I felt it beating.

"I'm going to keep you safe now Jane. You just have to keep breathing...I'll make him pay. I swear it Jane, I _swear_ it on the love I have for you and our children...I. Will. Make. Him. **Pay**!"

I said the last with deliberate hostility. My clenched teeth hurt my jaw, my eye lid twitched, my muscles tensed, my voice became tough, my heart hardened. I kissed Jane's cheek again to seal my promise. I didn't notice that Addison had stopped working. I didn't notice she was staring at the far wall. I didn't notice the tears that streamed down her face. I didn't notice her at all until she spoke softly to me.

"I have to give Jane more stitches, Maura. Are you sure you don't want to wait outside while I..."

"...**No**!" I nearly shouted at Addison.

I closed my eyes shaking my head, ashamed that I had lashed out at Addison who had shown only tremendous kindness. But I would not and could not be parted from Jane. I turned my eyes back to Jane's face and brushed her hair from her cheeks again.

"I'm not leaving her Addison," I whispered.

I heard her sigh. I winced when Addison gathered a suture kit. I knew what that meant. She didn't look at me or speak to me. I noticed the strained look on her face. I noticed how she had to change her surgical gloves because the first pair had become so bloody. My heart dropped to my feet. I was distraught at the thought of why her gloves were so bloody. I clenched my jaw to keep from exploding in tears. I held Jane's hand in my own as tightly as I dared. I shushed Jane softly and whispered sweet words in her ear. All of a sudden, Jane's face seemed to have a slight change in expression. I prayed she was neither having nightmares nor feeling any one of the many reasons she would be in physical pain. I prayed she was having dreams that brought her joy where this waking like had failed her so badly, where I had failed her so badly. I gratefully thanked Addison when I saw her push more morphine into Jane's IV before she returned to the pelvic exam with the suture kit. I could not watch Addy suture Jane's tears though the doctor in me wanted to be sure she was cared for in the best way. I could not witness the blood that pooled on the sheet under Jane. I refused to count the stitches. I just kept my eyes on Jane's face and my mind on thoughts of retaliation. The minutes ticked by as Addison worked. The clock's ticking haunted me. I felt like I was in a time warp, that hell had replaced the beauty of earth and there was nothing more than endless pain and outrage. I could not believe that somewhere, someplace, children were laughing, mothers were singing, fathers were dancing in this world. I did not believe at this moment there was joy or happiness anywhere. In my world, right now, in this hospital room, in those long horrible seconds that led into even longer more terrible minutes and hours, there was no such thing as sunshine...only darkness.

Finally Addison finished her work. She cleaned the excess blood between Jane's legs and swiftly shoved the towels in the disposal. She pulled off her gloves and slipped them into the trash quickly. I knew she didn't want me to see them. I washed the blood from Jane's hair. I washed her body gently taking my time over every single inch of her, being tender and careful around her blackened bruises. I didn't want a single speck of that son of a bitch on her body for one single second longer. I cleaned, medicated, wrapped and bandaged her damaged fingers. I cleaned and covered the stitches on her forehead with gauze and a soft bandage. I kissed her from time to time where I cleaned an area and cradled her face gently in my hand. Addy help me dress Jane in a hospital gown, neither of us bothering to speak. We went about the motions silently; our only comfort was the steady breath of Jane's lungs and the beating of her heart. I covered Jane in warm blankets to protect her from the chill of the room and the ice in my veins.

More tears ran down my cheeks when Addison handed me a box containing an antibiotic ointment.

"Maura, as you know this is for the internal vaginal tears and the torn perineum. Apply it three times a day for ten days. There is an applicator in the box. She is going to need follow-up to be sure she is healing properly. I don't want her to be left with too much scar tissue." Addison said without ever meeting my eyes.

I never looked up into hers. I gripped the box tightly in my fist. I hated the thought that Jane would have to endure the worst part of the exam again and again. I thought of the man that had touched my Jane. My chin shuddered but I did not break down again. My wrath was back full force. I stuffed down my sorrow and clenched my fists. I paced the room while Addison went about drawing blood to test for STD's and AIDS. I gave Addison consent to push a massive dose of antibiotics through Jane's IV and also administer an AIDS cocktail. Addison gave Jane 1.5 mg of progestin in a shot to prevent any possibility of pregnancy. The idea of that man's baby in Jane's body turned my stomach. Jane's womb would not give birth to evil. It was a sacred place meant to carry only the children we conceived in love and beauty. Besides that Jane had a child already...our daughter. We had a son too that I desperately wanted to find and bring into my family fold. Jane and I had a whole life with hopes, and dreams. We had a family to build and support, a home to make beautiful for our children, laughs to share, memories to make, love to give to one another. I would not let this break Jane. I would not let this destroy us. No fucking way. I cursed and spit under my breath. The world had been cruel to Jane, but I would not let the darkness overtake her. She was still mine, she was everything to me. I would stare down the face of sin. I would drive the shadow from her mind with the sword and shield of my love and my conviction. I would take her from this awful city that had brought her nothing but torment and I would bring her back into the light again. I would make her remember joy and laughter; I would make her remember loveliness and harmony. I would see to it that her attacker suffered all the rest of his days. I would stand by her side always and forever.

"They will be transporting her to surgery any minute now," Addison informed me breaking the train of thought in my head.

I stopped pacing and turned to Addison. I felt power returning to mind. There was no more time for tears. It was time to act, it was time to fight.

"How long will the surgery take?" I demanded to know.

My voice was no longer whimpering and weak. It was full of conviction and confidence. I was Dr. Maura Isles...it was time I acted like it.

"A few hours," Addison said, her face was officious but her eyes were wide with uncertainty.

"How long before Jane can travel?" I pushed.

Addison looked disconcerted like she didn't understand my question.

"At least a month or so Maura..."

"...No! She's leaving Boston today, by ambulance if necessary but she's leaving this goddamn city today!" I argued.

"Maura honey, Jane is extremely injured, and I know you understand this. She is also the only witness to her own attack. She has to give a statement to the police; she has to rest, and heal. She certainly can't travel long distances even in an ambulance Maura! She needs hospital supervision until we know her brain won't swell or bleed from her fall and that her severely bruised lungs will not collapse! She's not going anywhere today, Maura!" Addison said resolutely.

I scowled at her. I would not be told that I could not make any and all decisions regarding Jane. I would not be told delivering her from this nightmare of a hospital where her whole family had been pronounced dead and this intolerable, fucking city was not possible. Anything was possible. Boston had been nothing but a city of torturous experiences for Jane. I had the power and might of my name behind me, I had a cache of resources at my disposal, I had more money than I could count, and I would exhaust it all, call in every favor in my arsenal to deliver Jane to safety. I had not been there when that...son of a bitch...attacked her, but I was here now and by God I would not fail her again. I could and _would_ make this happen. I would see Jane to light and happiness again. I would give her peace if I had to chase it to the ends of the earth. I would hand it to her along with all my love.

"Don't _tell_ me it's not possible Addison. You will ride with us in the ambulance when Jane is stable after surgery. We will take her back to New York. It's only a four hour drive, she can rest in a private facility until she is healed enough to come home to me. But I will not have her in this city. I should never have brought her here." I remembered it was I that suggested Jane accompany me to Boston in the first place.

I was so proud that day when Jane agreed to return to Boston and face her fears and her pain after five long years. I'd felt so much love for her and pride at her bravery. I'd loved and admired the smile of excitement on her face. I loved how much she trusted me and didn't want to be apart from me. I thought I won some great victory, that I'd given Jane the strength to face her demons as she had given me the strength to face mine. I had a head full of dreams of all the ways I would help Jane heal and we would be happy together, forever. But now my dreams had dashed against the rocks like storming waves crashed into the shore. My best intentions turned to dust.

I looked back at Jane and my heart skipped a beat. I thought I heard her whimper; a muffled, raw sound behind the gauze stuffed in her mouth. I rushed to her side and took her hand. My heart was racing, my adrenaline surged and my hands shook in panic. I could _not_ see Jane in pain...I could not stand it. I could not let the peace of sleep slip away from her. I brushed her hair with my fingers and kissed her forehead softly many times. I whispered what I hoped were words of comfort in her ears. Her body stirred restlessly, her moans growing more desperate every second. I fought to keep her still; I leaned over her protectively as if I could shield her from the agony. I looked to Addison desperately, pleading with her silently to help me, to help Jane. I felt my cheeks burn as hot tears washed over them. I heard the choked desperate sob escape my throat. I saw the way Addison's face fell and her shoulders sagged. She moved to push more drugs through Jane's IV to keep her under. I looked back at Jane's bruised face. Her skin glistened with perspiration, and her face was tense and fraught in discomfort. I cradled her face with my shaking hand and prayed the drugs would move swiftly. I leaned down and kissed her lips with my own that trembled so violently I could barely make them meet.

"Sleep now my little princess... Just sleep now. I'll protect you, I promise my love. Just sleep and rest and heal for me and when you wake up you'll be in a better place. I'm gonna get you out of here honey...I love you so much...I l-l-love you _so_ much." I whispered in her ear.

Jane whimpered several more times, each sound growing softer than the last, her shivering becoming slower before finally relaxing into stillness. I breathed a sigh of relief and kissed her forehead again. I let my lips linger on her damp skin. I mopped her face with a cool towel as I held her hand gently in my own. Slowly my own body relaxed as Jane drifted to sleep again, but my heart was full of sadness. I covered Jane with another blanket to keep her warm and turned on Addison again. I hurriedly dried my tears as I faced my friend and Jane's doctor.

"I can't let her wake up in this place. Her family died here...in this place...it's haunted for her. This whole city Addison is a nightmare for her. I've failed this woman enough already, I must get her out of here. Please help me. Please." I said desperately.

I felt my eyes shining brightly, wide and earnest. My voice was pleading. My body tense despite the defeat I felt in every cell of my body. But I could not give up. I would make this happen if I had to clamber and fight tooth and nail one battle at a time. Addison seemed wearied and beside herself. Her face was drawn, her green eyes sad and heavy. I know she wanted to give in to me and help me, but she had a different duty where Jane was concerned. She saw my desperation, but she did not understand it as I did. She saw the needs of the patient through the responsibilities of a well-trained, gifted physician. She could not afford emotional wounds the same priority that I did. Still I would not give up.

"It can be done...keep her sedated until she is stable enough to be transferred, and then we move her to NY memorial where she will be safer and happier...if such a thing is possible." I said despondently.

My eyes lowered to the floor. I wiped at my tears furiously, angry that they came so often, so mercilessly and without warning. I had to be tough. Jane needed me. Addison studied me for long moments before finally letting out an exasperated heavy sigh that left her face looking overwhelmed and drained.

"I will not consent for her to be moved until I know for sure that she is stable enough to make the journey. That is the best I can do Maura." Addison sighed.

I forgot all my sensibilities. I ran to her and wrapped her in my arms, squeezing her in a tight embrace.

"Thank you, Addy," I cried in her ear.

I swallowed and choked many times to keep my rush of emotions at bay. This was one battle among many more to come, but the small victory felt like a glimmer of hope none the less. Addison hugged me back gently.

"I will help you and Jane in any way I can honey. Her physical recovery is my priority, I know you'll see to her other needs." She said sincerely.

I smiled over her shoulder through my tears. This time they were tears of hope. I could have gone on in that embrace forever. It felt like support. It felt like a glimmer of light in the face of unending misery. But my reverie over this small success was broken by a knock at the door. I sprang from Addison's arms startled. I knew Gerald Ingles was hulking outside the room glaring down every passerby, faithfully watching over Jane's and my privacy. Gerald Ingles had refused to leave my side since yesterday evening. He followed me everywhere like a faithful warrior ever mindful of danger and ready to spring at any and all threats to myself or Jane. He'd been my strength thus far, pushing me to focus when I wanted to break apart. It had been he that screamed in my face in the car on the way to the hospital as I wailed and cried, the sanity in my mind eluding me. It had been he that pushed me to think reminding me of who I am, forcing me to pull myself together and make the calls I needed to make for Jane's care. He was the reason I was still breathing and not huddled in a corner crying, hyperventilating and lost in despair. I appreciated him more than words could express. I knew he would not knock on the door for anything less than for something absolutely important.

I opened the door to find James standing outside. Gerald towered over James' shoulders eyeing me curiously looking for signs that I did not want James to be there. In which case, James would surely and very unceremoniously be hustled away. I stopped short when I saw James standing there. I was surprised to see him on his feet at all. He looked like he had gone many rounds in one of those ultimate fighter matches. I could tell he had a broken nose. Both of his eyes were black, his lip was busted and his head was wrapped in a bandage as well as his damaged hands. He was wearing a pair of fresh clean scrubs the same as me, and he looked even more exhausted than I felt. But there was certain brightness behind his blackened eyes, a fierce determination. I started to speak to him, I wanted to reach out to him, look over his wounds and force him to sit and relax. But I was afraid. But I was ashamed to be in his presence. I felt awful about the things I'd said to him, and the way I treated him in that club. Regret took over me. I lowered my eyes unable to meet his. James was the greatest friend I could ever ask for; he'd proven that to me endlessly since I met Jane. He'd done more to help her and fight for her than even I had in the past 24 hours and the ignominy I felt over it ate at me. I was dismayed for hurting him the way I did. Anyone could look at James and tell he tried his hardest to get to Jane. I can only imagine how hard he fought for her. I loved him like one might love a brother. I didn't realize this before but I certainly knew it now. I owed him more than I could ever repay.

"Can I see her?" James asked me softly.

I stepped out of his way and nodded my head slightly still unable to meet his eyes. Gerald Ingles pulled the door closed when James timidly entered the room. James seemed nervous and antsy. He was fidgeting uncomfortably. He made his way around the bed slowly almost as if he were walking into a dungeon to slay a dragon and had to gather his courage. He finally made it to Jane's bed side and I heard him gasp. He jumped and took two steps back, his hand covered his mouth, and shock covered his face. I walked to the other side of Jane's bed and looked up into his eyes briefly. His jaw worked as he studied Jane. I saw tears shining in his eyes. He reached out his hand slowly almost reverently to touch her face, but stopped short and pulled away even slower. I noticed the way his hand shook. I noticed the way he tried to clench it into a fist but could not due to his own injuries. I saw the anger and frustration in his eyes.

"This is a fucking _**travesty**_," He spat angrily.

He turned his eyes from Jane. His jaw was set defiantly. I'd never seen him look so furious. I felt affection for him as he stood there unsteady in his rage. I was compelled to reach out to him.

"James I'm so sorry for...for what I said to you," I whispered, disgracefully lowering my eyes.

James sighed and shook his head.

"I know you didn't mean it Maura, and I'm sorry too...I'm sorry I didn't get to her in time. I let you both down." James said heavily.

He looked back at Jane briefly, but slowly turned his eyes away. I could see pain and guilt in his face. I tried to reach out to him but James just backed away and shook his head, his shoulders sagged slightly and his big eyes looked worn-out.

"She's a tough one," James said nodding his head toward Jane. "She's going to get through this...but she _needs_ you Maura. She needs you by her side. You can't get involved in this case any further...you can't leave her again." James was almost pleading with me. His eyes were glistening with tears.

"I'll _never_ leave her again James. I will give her everything she needs...I will _be_ everything she needs. All that I have and all that I am is in her hands." I said sincerely.

I didn't have to think about those words, they came freely...they were the simplest truth of my life in that moment and would be all my days. James smiled at me. A smile that looked like it hurt his bruised face. He winced in pain. I tried to smile back at him, but it seemed my smiles only made other people look sad, like my face was covered in some darkness that sucked the joy from other people's souls. I stopped bothering with trying to smile and looked back at Jane. I brushed my fingers over her cheek softly as she slept.

"Maura, you need to come with me now." James said. "We are meeting with Frost, Korsak and Lieutenant Cavanaugh. I won't and can't let you go in there alone."

I looked at James curiously.

"Why do I need to speak with them?" I frowned.

James' entire body looked mildly uncomfortable.

"There are things you need to know in order to protect Jane and yourself. Trust me." James stated boldly.

I shook my head. I didn't know what he was talking about, but I certainly wasn't leaving Jane.

"But I told you James, I'm not leaving her."

"Go with him, Maura. Jane will be taken to surgery any minute," Addison said behind me.

"But I have to _be_ there...I planned to watch from the viewing area."

"Jane needs more than you just hovering over her. She needs to know that justice is being served, and since she can't see to that herself that falls to you and James. Go with him and hear what the detectives have to say," Addison said eyeing me sternly.

I sighed heavily. I knew she was right, but still...! I walked over to Jane's bed and kissed her gently many times. I closed my eyes and held her hand and said a silent prayer to any God that would listen that he would see my love safely through her surgery and return her to me where I would honor that God and Jane by loving and cherishing her as she deserved to be. I ran my fingers through her hair one last time as I gazed down at her. My heart could not contain all the love I felt for her. It boiled over in tears I wiped furiously from my face. I turned around and let James lead me out the door.

When we stepped into the hallway, it seemed like the very air around us stopped moving. Every tongue fell silent, everybody became still, and every eye was locked on me. The silence and stillness were unnerving. I felt cold and exposed; even desolate despite the attention focused on me from the many nurses and doctors standing around behind their desks and in the hallway. I had a feeling they had all been talking about Jane and I just moments before. But why? Certainly Jane couldn't be the first rape victim they ever saw. Lesbians certainly weren't so uncommon that they should illicit this level of response. I was unnerved by the silence and the piercing curious eyes. But I felt James hand on my shoulder. I swallowed my fear, lifted my chin and set my jaw. I walked down the hallway with my head high and my stride confident. The eyes followed me until I was out of sight and ran into more eyes that stopped short and stared. I wrinkled my brow. What the hell was going on? Finally James hustled me into a small private waiting area at the end of the hallway and quickly closed the door behind him. The shades in the room were closed tightly against the outside. The room was oddly dim and chilly. A TV was playing on the far wall. Detectives Frost and Korsak and Lt. Cavanaugh stood immediately when I walked in the room. I noticed their expressions were grim. The Lt. looked agitated. Frost and Korsak refused to make eye contact with me. The room was tense and uncomfortable. James stepped up next to me protectively.

"Dr. Isles," Lt. Cavanaugh said approaching me and taking my hand in both of his. He fixed me with his most sincere look of sympathy. "I'm so sorry about what happened to your friend Jane..." He started but I cut him off immediately.

"...She's my girlfriend." I abruptly corrected him.

The Lt. faltered but recovered hurriedly.

"Yes, I know. I apologize." He said sadly.

What the hell was he so sad about? I was the one with the girlfriend that was sadistically raped and beaten.

"We really need to talk about that," He said looking over his shoulders at the detectives who shuffled from foot to foot still not meeting my eyes.

I couldn't quite place their expression or why I sensed so much dread, but something was wrong. I knew it. I took two steps back and found a chair to sit. I had no more strength for bad news while standing on my feet. Whatever they had to tell me, it would be better if I were sitting. The lieutenant paced the room while James stood protectively by my side and Frost and Korsak slouched against the wall away from me. I studied all of them inquisitively. Someone better speak up or else I was leaving to be with Jane because this was quickly becoming irritating.

"Let me start by saying I wish you had come to me first with what you were all planning on doing. Detectives Frost and Korsak have explained everything to me but..." The lieutenant paused and mopped at his sweaty brow with a handkerchief.

"...This has become a media storm. I'm getting calls from the Governor all the way down to the chief of police about this craziness. The DA is all over my ass screaming for indictments and evidence. We need to get this story straight and we need to do it now before this blows up in all our faces," The lieutenant said. His voice sounded flustered and overwrought.

He looked like a man under enormous pressure. I frowned. I didn't understand what he was talking about. What media storm? How did the governor get involved?

"What do you mean? How did this story leak and why is it news? Why are you getting phone calls from the governor?" I inquired.

The lieutenant sighed.

"Someone leaked to the press what was going on at that strip club. The cameras were everywhere by the time the ambulances started carting people away. There are over thirty people downstairs in the ER that were injured in that club. When swat stormed the place we found over 200 pounds of heroin, enough guns and explosives to take out the city, and three under-aged girls that speak no English locked up in a cellar. We think those young girls might be part of a sex slave trade. It's a criminal mad house at that club. It's a mad house outside the hospital as we speak with cameras and reporters. This story is running as front page news tomorrow and...I'm sorry Dr. Isles...but Jane's name was leaked to the press. They know she was raped. It's on the news already. We have to get in front of this thing and do it now." The lieutenant said.

"WHAT!" I exclaimed.

My heart was racing.

"How did they find out about Jane? How did they know she was raped?" I screamed up at the lieutenant.

My voice thundered and reverberated off the walls in the little waiting room. The lieutenant looked twice as nervous now.

"We're not sure, someone on the inside must have leaked it or it was overheard by the wrong person. Either way they know she's your girlfriend and what happened to her! We need to make a statement as soon as possible as to why Jane was in that club in the first place," The lieutenant expressed desperately.

"They know she's my _girlfriend_?" I wailed.

My mind was racing as I tried to put all the pieces together. I was fighting frantically to stay in control and understand what was being said to me. I had to make sense of it somehow but I could seem to find no sense in the situation. The lieutenant powered on with filling me in on what I needed to know.

"They know Jane's family was killed five years ago...they're going to make the connection that it had something to do with this club. They're going to sensationalize everything unless we get in front of this thing, so here's what were telling them and we need you to be on board." The lieutenant explained earnestly.

"**What** story? No one needs to know _anything_ about Jane. You shut this down **now**!" I said as my ire rose.

I was growing frantic. The last thing I wanted was for Jane to have to replay this nightmare over and over in her mind and have it played over and over on the news. I didn't want what was done to her publicized; I didn't want her haunted day and night by onlookers clambering after her for a statement or a story. Jane's pain was her own, and mine. It was a private matter to be dealt with behind our family's closed doors, not to be sensationalized in the media. I had to protect Jane. I had to do something. I looked up at James with pleading eyes. I was at a loss for words. Panic was consuming me. Thoughts of Jane's picture in the paper next to a headline that said 'local woman raped in night club' made me feel like I would retch right there on the floor. I was in full alarm mode. I had a family to protect, children to protect, and especially Jane...I _had_ to protect Jane. But the press was a hungry monster of a storm; it had no shame, no morals, and no sympathy. It would consume helpless victims and chew them up spitting out their stories on headlines and news scrolls for the sake of ratings, destroying innocent lives in the process without even the courtesy of a fair warning or apology. How could I battle such a demon when I had so many others to face? James seemed to be inflamed next to me. I felt his fury rolling off of him. He exploded at the officers in the room.

"Oh so NOW you want to get ahead of this after it's already too late? I told you ahead of time that if this went badly I was going to sue the shit out of the department! You people have failed at every turn. You should have gotten Jane out of that club. Frost I repeatedly asked you in that van to help Jane, I _knew_ something was wrong! When I finally took matters into my own hands and went back to the club to look for Jane you refused to come and I had to scream bloody murder into the earpiece to get you to call for backup. You kept stalling and Jane was under attack the entire time! You should have kept this insulated! This should not be **happening** right now! You were more worried about how Jane could help collect evidence, then getting her out of there. That woman in there is broken, raped and beaten and all you care about are your own asses. This is a woman innocent of any crime except loving someone so much she was willing to risk her life to save her and she came very close to _losing_ her life." James roared.

His chest was heaving and his body shook in his anger.

"James we did everything we could..." Frost finally spoke up.

"The fuck you DID!" James spat at him.

"From now on I represent Jane. She's my client and she will be suing the department for reckless endangerment of a civilian." James hissed.

Frost and Korsak looked beside themselves. The lieutenant's eyes went wide.

"You can't _do_ that, it will undermine the story we are telling the media! It won't do any good to go around making threats Mr. Licton..." Lt. Cavanaugh started but James plowed over his argument.

"...It didn't do any good to put Jane in that situation either DID IT? Now she's been raped and you're telling me this is going to be front page news? Fuck that! My client deserves peace in her time of healing and recovery. She has to move past this and not be troubled more than she already will be, by reporters, media and whatever story you're going to make up to save yourselves. I won't let you do it. I won't let you further harm her to help yourselves." James hissed and fumed.

Lt. Cavanaugh looked like he wanted to punch something or cry. I only imagined what pressure he was feeling in that moment but I had little sympathy for him. Protecting Jane was my sole focus and it would be that way until the day I died. I _can_ say I sure was glad James with me and not against me.

"We didn't _make_ her go in there," Frost weakly protested.

"You didn't get her out either after you knew she was in trouble! It was a gross lack of judgment to allow her to be in that place and spread it around that she was a whore. This would **never** have happened to her if you hadn't made me do that! I begged you to help me get Jane out of there instead but you said there was a prostitution ring running out of that bar and this was the only way to catch them. You told me it would all be ok and assured me Jane would be safe. You refused to go in there yourself and made me do it and what the fuck do I know about strip clubs and crazy bikers? But I had no choice when you wouldn't go. You said the necklace would keep her safe and you said we could get her out! You LIED to me! Have you seen her detectives? She's a goddamn mess and it's is all your **fault**! Are you going to tell the media what really happened...the governor...the DA... or are you going to lie to them too? I don't know what kind of half-baked ideas you've got turning in your heads but I'm not going along. Not _this_ time! "James was enraged.

The officers looked exasperated and beside themselves, but I was something else completely. James' words struck me like lightning. I felt like I'd been kicked in the chest. What was he talking about? Jane wasn't a whore; she was the love of my life. She was my partner, my girlfriend, the mother of my child. Frost knew that, Korsak knew that! They'd met Jane; they'd seen her and shook her hand and looked her in the eye and even congratulated and supported my affection for her. I thought I could trust them. I thought they did everything they could to get Jane out of that club. I did not know that they decided to use her as bait. I didn't want to believe it to be true that they could have been party to what happened to Jane. But James would not lie; his rage told me he was telling only the upmost truth. Fury and fire consumed me. I slowly turned my head to Frost and Korsak and let my stunned hurt gaze settle on them. I didn't want to believe it. I didn't want to think my own colleagues and my partners in this case could have dared spread such malicious lies about Jane for gains that could and did cause her great harm. Frost gulped and Korsak's face drained of its blood as I stared at them.

"You told those people Jane was a _whore_ when you knew the place most likely ran a prostitution ring? You knew this place was filled with possible murderers and thugs and criminals." I hissed.

My voice was low and dangerous. My words dripped animosity. My anger rose exponentially. I rose to my feet slowly. Every muscle of my body was screaming to lash out. I glared so hatefully at the detectives they both backed up several steps. I felt the room grow stony around me. The silence screamed of fear and anger.

"I...we...she was already in the club...we needed a reason to get her the necklace...I thought if they figured she was a whore we could catch something on camera for the solicitation of prostitutes and we could build a case and have probable cause to get a warrant to..to...to search the place..." Frost stuttered and stammered.

I was walking toward him slowly, my eyes on fire, my body deliberate, my lips thinned in consternation.

"You told those _sick, disgusting, low life, murderous, violent, hideous, despicable, abhorrent_ _**sons-of-bitches**_ in that club that Jane was a WHORE!" I screamed from the depths of my soul.

My voice rang loud and clear though it shook and quaked with the threat of the violence I wanted to unleash in that room.

"I'm sorry Maura. It was a bad decision. I made a bad call." Frost pleaded desperately.

His light brown eyes were wide as a full moon and his face was tortured with remorse and self-blame.

"I did what I thought was best to help solve the case. I didn't mean for this to happen. I would never want anything like this to happen to anyone." He actually wept.

He lowered his eyes from me. I saw him weeping but I thought nothing of pain. Why should I, whose pain could compare to Jane's or mine? I cared nothing for him at all in that moment.

"How could you **do** that? Jane is not some pawn on a chess board to be toyed with and used. You put her at risk; you put her _life_ at risk! She is not an officer of the law; she's a civilian, a mother, _my girlfriend_. She's **not** a whore...she's not a WHORE!" I was screaming at the detectives. I knew my voice could be heard outside and most likely all the way down the hall.

I didn't care in that moment. I wasn't thinking clearly.

"Dr. Isles _please_ calm down. Please! Someone could hear you and leak this to the press and too much has been leaked already. We have to stay level-headed here. Please just hear us out!" Lt. Cavanaugh pleaded with me as he mopped at his brow with his handkerchief again.

His words were lost on me. I could hear only the rush of blood in my ears that my rapidly beating heart sent surging through my veins. I inched closer to them, seething and fuming. I thought of Jane lying still as death in that hospital bed. I thought of the moment when I came upon her body bloodied and broken on the cold dirty floor. I thought of the terror she experienced, the tears she cried, the violation she felt, the nightmares to follow and the trust she had lost in the world and maybe even with me. I wanted to double over from the anguish I felt but I would give no one that satisfaction. I wiped at my tears with shaky hands furious that I was becoming weak in front of these men that had brought this pain down upon the woman I loved more than anything else in this world. I wanted to hurt them back somehow. I didn't want them to see me cry, but my face burned with huge tears none the less.

"How-COULD-you!" I managed to say.

Frost was backed all the way against the wall and barely able to meet my eyes. I started to cover the last five feet between Frost and I, when Detective Korsak stepped in front of him protectively.

"Jane is a hero, Maura. I know this is horrible, I know she suffered. But once we realized she was in trouble you _know_ we did everything we could to get to her." Korsak turned to James, "You are a hero too James, you saved Jane's life and mine. If not for Jane we probably would never have so much evidence against this club. What happened to Jane is terrible, but it is not our fault and it's not your fault either. It's the fault of that fucking asshole that attacked her and he will pay. I _swear_ this to you Maura...he will pay _dearly_!" Korsak said to me boldly.

"You called Jane a whore, she was raped and beaten senseless, and you think it means a goddamn thing to call her a hero _now_? You can't just give her a medal and pretend her suffering was a fair trade. Is a plaque going to make her forget that precise moment when she thought her baby might grow up without her mother, Detective Korsak? Is the newspaper calling her a hero going to make her forget that man forcing himself on her? Is anything you just said going to erase her memory and make it all ok like a band aid on a scratch? Have either of you ever been raped or beaten within an inch of your life?" I screamed at the detectives.

The detectives just shrunk under my barrage.

"Please just hear them out, Dr. Isles." The lieutenant stepped in his voice was pleading, begging for understanding.

I choked and sobbed. James wrapped me in his arms and pressed my head against his chest. I turned my head away from the detectives; I trembled in James' embrace. I knew he was glaring them down. Korsak tried to get me to understand anyway. His voice was weary and sad.

"Maura, please hear me out. I see how you are hurting but please just give me a chance. Most of those degenerate bastards are under arrest and we're hunting down all the rest of the members of the Road Dog gang like the mongrels they are. They attacked us _and_ James _and_ Jane. Because of that we had probable cause to search the entire club. We found so much evidence we can put every member of that club away for life and that's before we add in all the evidence of unsolved murders and Jane's rape. We can return those girls to their families, we can crush that underground prostitution ring, and we can save so many women from experiencing what Jane did. Families of people that were suspected as victims of the club are already blowing up the lines at the station begging for information, praying we find out what happened to their dead or missing sons or daughters. We can do it now Maura. We blew the doors wide open. We will get one of those gang members to turn and we can bring peace to so many people. This is worthy of front page news. The whole city is going to go crazy come first light. That club is swarming with reporters as we speak. If we tell the story right we can bring some peace to so many broken people in this city. We can let them know that sometimes the good guys do win. As of now Jane is a civilian undercover liaison that was working inside the club for the BPD. That's what we told the mayor, the DA, the Governor and that's the way we are going to tell it to the press. Jane is a brave upstanding citizen that lost her family to this gang and volunteered to help bring them down. That is exactly what she did do. She's not a sad tortured victim; she's a champion of society that suffered greatly for the good of the upstanding citizens of Boston. That guy that attacked her is going to wish like hell he hadn't laid a finger on a hair on her head. Attacking her is paramount to attacking an officer of the law. You think he's going to have an easy time in jail? Every officer out there wants justice for Jane and also the underage girls. That gang is also suspected of killing an undercover officer, remember? Every police officer on the force wants to get to the bottom of this and will do anything to help and protect Jane. The feds are probably going to get involved too because of the interstate drug trade and the sex slave trafficking. It will hurt the case, Jane, you, _and_ the police department if the media puts out a story that Jane was only there trying to save her girlfriend who just happens to be the Chief Medical Examiner for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. We don't want to see Jane made into some poor hopeless tragic case, or you made out as a villain. I'm so, so sorry Maura; I can't tell you how sorry I am about what happened to Jane. I won't pretend to know what you're going through. I would never insult Jane to think that anything she went through was less than horrific, but now that it has happened I see no other way to protect everyone, especially her. Also, I know this doesn't help or change a thing, but Jane really did a number on Jo Jefferson, he's got two broken legs and his face is destroyed from that shank of wood. They aren't giving him very much pain medicine either. He's screaming like a baby in the ER. The whole floor can hear him." Korsak said earnestly.

I did not speak for long moments. I just stood in James' arms wishing his warm body could melt my cold heart. I knew what the detective said was true, but still it was a bitter, fucked up pill to swallow. I didn't want Jane to be a tragic victim. Perhaps some good could come of this. But my thoughts shifted back to the man that had done this to her. This _was_ entirely his fault! Was it true; was the man that hurt my Jane really so close to me?

"He's here in this hospital?" I asked casually lifting my head from James' chest and pulling out of his embrace.

"Yeah he is, along with about fifteen other thugs from that club that James and I took out, and some other people too suffering from smoke inhalation." Cavanaugh said.

I knew he was trying not to sound as pleased as he did but he wasn't being very successful. I didn't care...I was thinking of one man...the one that had hurt Jane. My mind flashed through all the ways I wanted to torture that man when all of a sudden something on the TV caught my attention. I stopped short, my eyes trained on the screen on the far wall.

"Turn that up!" I demanded, pointing at the TV.

Everyone turned to see what I was referring to. James moved swiftly, his eye catching what was happening on the screen. He walked to the TV and reached up increasing the volume on the TV. We all stood watching in shock. We knew what we were seeing. It was the hospital ER entrance, and it was absolute pandemonium. Reporters were everywhere surrounded by officers trying to corral the chaos, and civilians trying to get through the entrances of the hospital, shouting for information about relatives and loved ones. Angry looking bikers were trying to break through the crowd and get inside the hospital, most likely to see their friends and loved ones that were patients in the ER, but the police wouldn't let them through. They were trying to separate the unsavory characters from everyone else and question them, but the reporters gave them no peace or space to do so. The bikers were becoming angry and shouting threats, the officer's tempers were flaring; the civilian onlookers were hurling insults at the bikers. Fights were breaking out. A young reporter on screen was giving a report, but she could hardly be heard over the mayhem. The situation outside was threatening to boil over. The bikers were growing more and more rambunctious and aggressive, and pushing back at the officers trying to hold them back and separate them. They were screaming at the reporters about their rights being violated. Innocent civilians were clashing with the bikers screaming for justice and threatening retribution for missing, hurt or dead loved ones. It was complete pandemonium outside. Everyone's jaw dropped.

"SHIT!" Lt. Cavanaugh cursed.

"Frost, Korsak get your asses down there now! You arrest anybody threatening the peace. Call the station, get additional backup and handcuffs. Use the plastic ties if necessary. Dr. Isles and James you both stay in here until we get this situation under control."

Frost and Korsak and the Lieutenant sprang from the room. I had no intention to disobey Cavanaugh's orders until I looked up at the TV again and spotted a familiar face in the crowd. My heart dropped. James jumped up cursing and swearing next to me. I saw Molly in the crowd outside being jostled and bumped by the angry people around her. She was clutching her little infant daughter to her chest. She looked absolutely petrified. I noticed her sons clinging to her body their eyes wide and frightened. A reporter was suddenly right in her face asking her questions. Molly looked so scared. She was almost knocked over by a man that was pushed into her by a biker. I spotted Consuela in the crowd holding a crying, screaming, twisting Angela. My mother was next to her. Wait. My mother… Constance? I thought I would heave right where I stood. James and I bolted for the door at the same time without as much as a second thought. Gerald Ingles caught up to us and slipped inside the elevator just as the doors were closing. I was panicking for my child. The last thing I wanted was for Angela to see her mother in the state she was in and I certainly didn't want her in the middle of the insanity going on downstairs. I prayed my child was safe, I prayed the officers could control the situation until James and I got our families out of here safely. I prayed to God more in the last day than I had in my whole life. I thought of my mother and how on earth she came to be here.

"James, did you call my mother?" I asked incredulously.

James leaned heavily against the wall in the elevator. He looked so tired.

"I thought you could use the support." He said honestly.

"What the hell James? When has my mother _ever_ been supportive?" I spat at him.

James sighed.

"If ever there was a need for a mother's support it's right now." He said wearily.

I just rolled my eyes. My heart was pounding and my breath was unsteady. I didn't want to leave Jane. I was worried to death over her, but I was extremely worried of what was going on downstairs. I swore in my head as my anxiety built. I was tapping my foot impatiently.

"I can't believe my mother came," I whispered.

James shook his head.

"I didn't think she would get here so fast!"

The elevator doors opened to sheer chaos. James, Gerald, and I were frozen in shock. The scene of the ER waiting room was madness. There were police officers in uniform running all over the place. The civilian scuffles between the bikers and other persons had flowed inside to the ER waiting room. Patients waiting to be seen were huddled in corners wide-eyed and afraid at the insanity playing out in front of them. Noise and tempers had reached a fever-pitch. My jaw dropped. The officers were trying to hustle the most aggressive people out the doors. Doctors and Nurses were standing on desks and tables shouting as loudly as they could, demanding that the insanity calm down and asking non-patients leave the ER waiting room immediately. EMT's were scrambling and dodging to get out of the doors. What appeared to be unsavory characters possibly relatives of the bikers and prostitutes were pushing and shoving to get to the front desks, but were being kept back by increasingly agitated police. Tempers were flaring up everywhere. The cameras outside were hungrily snapping pictures and zooming in on angry faces and heated words. I could not believe what I was seeing. I wanted to run the other way, but I had to get to my daughter, I had to see her to safety. Jane was counting on me to care for our child and I could not fail her. James took my hand and led me through the crowd. Gerald Ingles had his hand on my shoulder as we walked into the madness. We were bumped and jostled with every step. James and Gerald pushed and shoved people out of the way as we surged through the crowd and forced our way outside. I was out of breath when I finally felt the warm night air on my skin. The chaos was no less outside than inside. I spotted our party not far away from us in the crowd.

Molly was crying with James' infant daughter in her arms, Consuela was screeching in Spanish at everyone to move out of her way. Angela's face was bright red; she was screaming, wiggling and crying hysterically in Consuela's arms. She looked like she was hyperventilating. James' boys looked terrified and clung to their fragile mother like glue. They were all being bumped and jostled by the crowd around them. My mother was heatedly arguing with a police officer. Detective Frost was in the middle of it all trying to speak to them and not shout, but it was impossible to be heard without doing so. My anger rose as I became worried that James' daughter or Angela might be dropped with all the mayhem around them. I exploded forward and shoved my way toward my family. I bumped people out of the way along my path and I kept my eyes trained on my daughter's tearful eyes. I pulled Angela from Consuela's arms before anyone even realized I was there. Angela cried louder when she saw me and wrapped her arms around my neck immediately burying her face in my hair. Her little body heaved and squirmed and hiccupped on her sobs. I shushed her and patted her back trying to calm her over the noise. Everyone started trying to talk to me at once. My vision was a blur of many faces around me vying for information, pleading for an explanation and all eyes were wide and teary. I had no thoughts for anyone but my daughter in that moment. I had to get her away from this situation where she was safe. I searched for a break through the crowd but the reporters had realized who I was and they descended on me like locust.

"Dr. Isles, is the rape victim your girlfriend?"

"Dr. Isles, is that your daughter?"

"Dr. Isles, is Jane going to be ok?"

"Dr. Isles, can we get a statement from you?"

"Dr. Isles, why didn't the police department send in a trained detective to work the case instead of your girlfriend?"

"Dr. Isles, were you aware of Jane's involvement?"

"Dr. Isles, will you be suing the department for what happened to your girlfriend?"

The reporters were everywhere. James was shouting at them to back away, that an official statement would be made by the police within the hour, but the reporters' assault was relentless. Cameras and microphones were thrust in my face from every direction. Every way I turned I was met with another camera in my face. I was spinning in circles. Flashing lights made me see stars. Adrenaline was surging through my veins. Angela was jerking, screaming and crying on my shoulder, she shivered in fright. I held her as tightly as I could. I was overwhelmed with the desire to run, but I couldn't break away. I couldn't get free. I put my hand over Angela's face to protect her from the flashing cameras. I didn't want her exposed. I didn't want her on display. She was just a little baby and she was so afraid.

"It's ok my sweet love...Maddy's here...I love you angel. You'll be ok little one." I whispered softly in her ear but my words brought her no comfort.

Angela cried so hard on my shoulder I was growing frightened for her and my anger built. The reporters could come after me all they wanted but I would not have them terrifying my child. I shouted at the second security guard Arthur to get my family away from the hospital immediately and take them home. I tried to hand Angela back to Consuela but Angela screamed and flailed. She refused to let go of me. She clung to me desperately, like her very life depended on it, her tiny body tensing up and her eyes pouring tears. She buried her face in my chest and cried so hard it broke my heart. I held her tightly against me. I could not turn her away from me. I whispered in her ear promises that I would keep her safe. I almost punched a particularly pushy camera man in the face when the police officers started grabbing up reporters and their crews and hustled him away from me. The same officer that had pulled Gerald and me over was clearing a path for my family to escape.

"Go with them!" I shouted at James.

"NO WAY!" He yelled back at me over the noise around us. His eyes were bright with determination, but I was having none of it.

"James, go be with your family, Consuela and my mother. Explain what's going on. I have to stay here, but they need you to go with them. They need to know what's going on!" I pleaded with him.

James growled in frustration.

"I'll come back as soon as I can!" He shouted in my ear.

I nodded to him and turned away. Gerald wrapped his coat over mine and Angela's head and hustled us toward the elevators leading me by the shoulders. I let him push me forward through the crowd. I didn't have a choice. The chaos was everywhere, the noise of shouting police officers and reporters drowned out Angela's sobs. I began to weep softly into Angela's silky curls. I brushed my fingers through her hair and rubbed her back over and over trying to calm her down. Gerald didn't remove the jacket from my face until we were all hustled into the elevator and the doors closed on the chaos. I blinked furiously when the jacket was lifted from my face and I found my mother standing next to me, more anxious than I'd ever seen her. Her face looked grim. She looked at me holding my daughter for long moments, a certain sympathy in her eyes. I didn't speak; I was too shocked to speak. I thought surely she would turn away and go home, yet here she was standing right next to me.

Constance Isles looked between me and Angela her eyes growing soft as she studied my daughter. The elevator doors opened on Jane's floor and we walked down the hall to the little waiting room again. I was relieved when the doors closed behind us and Gerald took up his post as guard outside. My mother saw my weary eyes as I tried to still my crying daughter. Constance took me gently by the arm and led me to a chair pushing me down to sit. I sat gratefully. I was so tired and so was my child. I cradled Angela against my body. I rocked her back and forth and whispered softly in her ear. Her tears dotted my neck; she held my hair tightly in her little fists. I kissed the top of her head many times slowly calming her to peace again. I didn't speak. I felt the tears running down my cheeks as I rocked my daughter in my arms. I felt so sad when I thought of Jane. How could Angela ever understand what happened to her mother? Would she blame me one day? Would she hate me? Would she cry herself to sleep every night until Jane came home and could tuck her in again? Could I be enough for her until Jane was well again? Could I give her all the love and attention she needed when Jane needed so much of me too? I'd never felt so insecure and alone than I did in that moment.

I wept softly with Angela in my arms until my mother's fingers slid through my tousled hair. I looked up at my mother through teary eyes. She looked the same as usual, immaculately dressed, not a single strand of hair out of place. But there was something different in her eyes, something soft, something sad, something...loving. I'd never seen it in her face before, but I felt drawn to it. I wanted to feel it. I needed it so badly. I was all alone, in this cold hospital, with my little baby while the love of my life was in surgery. I felt hollow. Spent of all my energy. Exhausted of all my joy. I felt a tear run down my face as I gazed up at my mother.

"Mom," I whispered.

My voice was so hoarse and broken the word barely escaped my throat. I was overwhelmed with so many responsibilities. I needed to be with Jane, I needed to be with Angela, I needed to protect my family from those reporters, I needed to find Jane's nephew, I needed to get everyone out of the city, and I needed to make sure that the bastard that hurt Jane would get just what he deserved. I cared nothing for myself. I cared nothing that I hadn't eaten in almost two days, I cared nothing that I needed a shower; I cared nothing that my heart was breaking and my soul was shattered. I had to be strong. I had my daughter in my arms, the last anchor connecting my mind to sanity. I could not run. I had to face this.

I felt my mother's hand on my face. She lifted my chin with her fingers and wiped my tears with her thumb. The touch moved something in me; I felt a peace I didn't know was possible in that moment. She smiled down at me. It was a slight smile, barely noticeable, but it was the most loving, sincere smile she'd ever given me. She cradled my face in her hand as Angela whimpered softly on my shoulder.

"I'm here for you sweetheart. You don't have to go through this alone, I'll protect you. I'll stay here with Jane while you go home, sleep, and shower. Please also eat something. You look so tired dear." My mother said softly.

"You came here for me?" I said looking up at her with wide wondering eyes.

"But you never come for me Mom," I said softly lowering my head and wiping my tears.

My mother's face faltered. Her eyes looked pained and sad.

"I'm here now, and I will be here for you and your family as long as you want me to be." She said brushing my hair from my face gently behind my ear.

Angela whimpered slightly in my arms. I pulled her off my shoulder and sat her in my lap. Angela's eyes sparkled and she giggled excitedly reaching up and patting my face with her hands. I kissed her forehead and smiled lovingly at her dimpled cheeks. I envied her innocence; I loved her more for it. My heart swelled with affection and I kissed her tiny fingers before she tried to tangle them in my hair. My mother smiled at us.

"She's beautiful," She said.

I smiled proudly at my mother.

"She's my little angel," I whispered. Then my face fell. "Jane's my princess," I said so softly the words were barely audible.

I heard my mother sigh. She sat next to me and combed her fingers through my tangled hair again. I played with a button on Angela's shirt absent-mindedly as the seconds ticked away into minutes. I let the silence have the room. The only noises were the soft squeals and giggles of my daughter until she finally faded to sleep cradled in my arm. I ran my fingers through Angela's hair and my mother ran her fingers through mine. My mother had the grace to let me enjoy the silence a little while longer. Her fingers in my hair comforted me. My mind wandered to happy memories of Jane and me again. I found myself smiling through the tears I let silently fall and settle in the soft curly mane of my child. I hung my weary head and tried to hide my tears from my mother, she always said they were a weakness. But I could not make them go away. My mother did not admonish me however. She did not chide or scold or ridicule me. She kept running her fingers through my hair.

"Tell me what happened," She asked me finally.

Her voice was soft but encouraging. I sighed and took a deep breath. I covered my daughter's ears as I recounted the story from the beginning. My voice was hollow and disconnected as I spoke, almost as if I were narrating a bad dream. When I was finished I was not crying anymore. My eyes were zoned out, focused on nothing and barely blinking. I felt like I had bared my soul. Like I had been stripped and revealed my innermost thoughts for the first time in a long time. I'd only ever done that with Jane, and never my mother. But it felt good somehow. Like I had emptied a heavy load. I felt lighter, emptier, but the sadness was still with me...the sadness would always be with me. It was a while before my mother spoke but when she did she took my hand.

"What happened to Jane was horrible, unspeakable. That man deserves death for what he did to Jane's family and to her. I won't insult you by pretending empathy, but my heart does break for you." My mother said softly.

She studied my child sleeping in my arms and smiled that quaint little smile again.

"I'm so proud of you Maura," My mother whispered.

I turned my head to study her with curious eyes. Our eyes locked and I saw her, I saw into her, for the first time...I saw her. She was not lying; she meant every word she said. It was written all over her face, in her smile and in her eyes. I was shocked still. I'd never heard those words spoken to me from my mother before. Only Jane ever said that to me.

"Y-you are?" I asked my voice high and hoarse.

My mother tightened her grip on my hand.

"I am. You have everything you've ever wanted. You have a loving girlfriend, a daughter, and friends that look up to you and admire you for who you are and not just what you can offer them. Someone loves you so much they risked their life for you. I've never known such love before." My mother said sadly.

I saw her eyes shining with tears. I shook my head and turned away from her.

"I don't deserve Jane's love. If it weren't for me this never would have happened to her," I said.

My heart ached.

"Maura darling listen to me. This is not your fault, this is many things...chief among them a tragedy. But one thing this is not, is your fault in any way at all. You can't waist time blaming yourself when Jane needs so much from you right now. She needs you to love yourself the way you love her and she loves you. I know she loves you, I knew it the moment I met her. If the roles were reversed, she would fight for you...I know it. But when she is frail, you must be strong. She needs you to fight for justice for her. You must make sure that man is punished for what he did. You have the power to do it." Constance said with authority.

I smiled at my mother lovingly for the first time in my life.

"I will...I will give her justice, and I will give her peace." I said.

Angela squirmed in my arms. I quickly moved to still her. I kissed her head softly and shushed her back to sleep. My mother watched us with lidded eyes.

"You're so good with her. I was never any good with you. I failed you so many times," My mother said sadly.

I looked at her with sincere eyes.

"You're not failing me now," I said honestly.

My mother's eyes rimmed with tears. I smiled at her.

"Would you like to hold her?" I asked. "I'm very hungry and thirsty. Jane will be in surgery a while longer. I could use a break."

My mother's eyes lit up. She looked between Angela and me excitedly though she tried to hide it.

"May I, please?" Her voice sounded like it was aching.

I gently placed Angela's sleeping body in her arms. My mother held Angela against her and smiled like I'd never seen her smile before. I kissed Angela's head and stood slowly arching my back and stretching my tired muscles.

"I'll be right back," I said before slipping from the room.

I don't know if my mother even heard me. She was humming softly to Angela cradled in her arms.

My mind raced as I walked. My mother was right; I did have the power to bring justice for Jane. So many said the man deserved to die and I thought so too at first. But now I understood, I saw clearly, death was easy...it was life that was hard. Life is suffering, and that man deserved to suffer. He tried to destroy my family and made a public mockery of my love for Jane. He violated my girlfriend, subjected her to unspeakable torment, and infected her mind with fear and rage. My hatred for this man had been simmering in my blood. I wanted to see his face. I wanted to look into the eyes of the man that I would spend the rest of my life finding fresh and horrific ways to torment. I stood on steady legs for the first time in hours and hours. I walked with purpose. There were no tears to cry in that moment. No one would cry tears for the man that had raped Jane, especially not me. I felt the detached calm of one with ice in her heart. Vengeance is a dish best served cold. My eyes were a chilly blizzard grey. I wanted the man to see my eyes, I wanted him to hear my voice, I wanted him to taste my revulsion and know all his waking and sleeping moments, that he would never escape the shadow of my unforgiving heart. I slipped into a supply room and locked the door behind me. I looked around frantically searching for what I needed. I found surgical booties, a surgical cap and an attendee's coat. I put them on quickly. I walked out of the supply room and down the stairs to the ER. There was still major chaos in the waiting room but I pushed my way through the crowd easily. The uproar was a distraction and I used it as cover to slip right past security into the patient areas. No one bothered to stop me as I looked like a surgeon. I walked around the rooms checking names on the charts outside the doors until I found the one I wanted. There was a police officer outside the door. I smiled up at him innocently.

"I need to see to the patient, we have to assess his wounds and prepare him for surgery." I said politely.

The officer looked me over and stepped aside. I opened the door and closed it softly behind me breathing a sigh of relief. My heart raced with pure indignation. My fingers were shaking with the desire to unleash fury onto my enemy. But I took a deep breath. I could not kill this man; it wasn't fair to Jane to let him go so easily. But I would make him suffer, I swore it to Jane. I owed her this. My eyes narrowed, my lips thinned, my stance was straight and determined. I did not tremble or shake. I was not afraid. In this moment **I** was the beast.

The room reeked of blood and antibacterial cleanser. The man in the bed was whining and sniveling in pain. I walked toward his bed with slow methodical steps. I looked down at his legs as I passed them. They were horrible to witness. Both of them were black and blue, grossly swollen and distorted from his ankles to his pelvis. The entire left side of his face was covered in a bandage but the blood from his wound was already seeping through. He was handcuffed to the bed tightly, his wrists chaffed and raw. He was sputtering, coughing, and whimpering in pain every time he jostled his legs too much. I stood by the side of his bed looking down at him. He was the most pitiful thing I'd ever seen, which made me smile. Tears were spilling down his face. He opened his eyes and looked up at me. His eyes were filled with agony and desperation.

"Please...please doctor. Have mercy on me...I need pain medicine...p-p-p-please. Have mercy!" His voice was high and shrill like a whining, young boy. His words were broken and barely understandable because of his damaged cheek. His body was covered in sweat. He smelled of dread and misery. I smiled down at him warmly. He smiled back at me thinking his savior had finally come.

"I need to change your bandages Mr. Jefferson," I said in a most professional manner.

I pulled a pair of surgical gloves from the container on the wall and put them on never breaking my smile. I whistled as I walked around the room gathering supplies. I grabbed a large bottle of alcohol and surgical tape and bandages and gauze.

"Plea-s...plea-s...so muuuk pain," Jo choked and spat.

A steady stream of slobber ran from the corner of his mouth I imagined because it was so painful for him to swallow and he had a giant hole in his face.

"I'm sorry Mr. Jefferson. You have too many drugs in your system already." I said lightly.

Jo began to weep and sob. His entire body shaking which only made him cry harder because of the pain in his legs from the tensing of his muscles. He wailed and blubbered and cried. He sounded like a helpless little boy, he looked like a man tormented by the most unspeakable pain. Had it been anyone else I would have felt terrible for him, but this was the man that had raped my girlfriend, beaten her, abused her, and tortured her. I had not so much as a single sliver of sympathy for this bastard. I reached for the tape of the bandage on Jo's face and ripped the entire bandage off his skin in one strong hard jerk. Jo screamed and wailed like a stuck pig. His entire body seized in pain. I'd say he was crying from the depths of his soul if I thought he had one. I did not care. No one would come for him. No one cared. Some of the gauze of the bandage had gotten stuck in the staples holding his face together and I ripped at the gauze mercilessly. Jo shook and screamed and cried tossing his head from side to side begging me desperately to stop. I spoke not a word to him. I opened the bottle of alcohol and poured it all over the wound. Jo screamed so loudly I had to shove gauze in his mouth. I poured the entire bottle of alcohol on the wound and tossed it in the trash. I wiped his face dry with a towel not bothering to be careful of the staples. Jo was whining pathetically and tears flowed from his eyes like a fountain. I covered a clean gauze bandage in antibiotic ointment and held it to his cheek. I taped it in place with three times as much surgical tape as necessary so that the next time the bandage was changed it was very likely a bit of skin would come off with the tape. I removed the gauze from inside his mouth.

"All done," I said.

"W-w-w-why are y-you hurt-in m-me?" Jo pleaded in a high pitched barely discernible wail.

"That's interesting that you should ask me that. Let me ask you something, why did you rape and beat my girlfriend tonight?" I asked leading over Jo's face.

I felt my eyes catch fire. I felt a malevolent spirit rise. I felt my face go hard as stone and my expression turn to ice. Jo's face fell, his eyes went wide. I'd never seen such fear on a person's face before. Jo shrunk into himself. He seemed to dissolve right before my eyes.

"You have no idea who I am. You have no idea the power I have. You have no idea who you _fucked_ with you insipid little worm! I am your worst nightmare; I am the face of what will be your never ending pain. I'm the friend of police officers, lawyers, prosecutors, judges, and wardens. I'm going to make sure you get the best Mr. Jefferson. I'm going to get you the best prosecutor; I'm going to get you the most vicious judge. I will see that you are convicted of my girlfriend's rape, and the first degree murder of my girlfriend's family. I will see that your sentence is death. I'm going to make sure you're sent to the most violent maximum security prison. I'm going to make sure the warden puts you in with the most hardened violent offenders." Jo started weeping again.

I leaned over further so I was whispering right in his ear.

"You're never going to be the same again after your surgery. You'll never be able to run or fight. I'm going to tell the warden to make sure all those men in lock up with you know exactly how you love to rape and beat little boys and girls you fucking child molester. You know what they do to child molesters in prison? They are going to rape you without mercy day and night. They are going to pass you around and fuck you like the little bitch you are day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year. No one will save you, the guards will turn their heads, and your pleas for help will fall on deaf ears. They will laugh at you and rape you again until you learn to take it like you like it. You will pray for death just to escape the pain. You will beg for it at night. You will cry to the heavens for mercy, but there will be no mercy for you. When they've raped you half to death, when can't even hold your own feces inside you because you've been torn apart so many times, when you are sitting in your own filth rotten like the shit you are, they will come for you. They will strap you to a table. They will put a needle in your arm...and you will die! They say lethal injection is painless and humane. They are lying. Your body will be wracked with pain, your veins will burn like fire as the poison courses through you. You will not be able to scream, you will not be able to move, but your mind will be alive and well. You will feel every single horrible excruciating thing as your organs slowly shut down, your lungs can no longer draw breath, and your heart finally stops beating. I will be there and I will watch. The last face you will see in your head before death comes to take you to hell, Will. Be. **Mine**! I will see to it personally that all this comes true...I _promise_ you this!"

I looked down into Jo's face again. He was crippled with sickening fear. His lips shuddered and his eyes bulged. He lay helpless, broken, damaged and handcuffed to the bed. In his condition, he could not so much as swat a fly. I stepped back and looked him over in disgust. This person before me was the true Jo Jefferson, a broken, battered, helpless piece of trash that had nothing to offer the world. He turned to violence and rape as a way to make himself feel strong and powerful...but he was nothing. He was a creature, a vile stain on the earth, not even worthy of the air he breathed. He cried and cried in the bed, wailing like a child. I looked at him with all the contempt in my heart.

"P-Please miss...don't let them h-h-hurt me, have mercy...h-h-have mercy" Jo pleaded with me with red desperate eyes.

Snot ran from his nose. Tears streamed from his face, his bandage was already bleeding through again. My chilly eyes ate through him. My rage exploded.

"You dare ask me for mercy? Did you show mercy on my girlfriend?" I hissed at him.

Jo started to respond when I spit directly in his face. Jo flinched, shocked still as my spit slid down his face. He looked up at me with hopeless eyes. I glared at him one last time as he cowered in his bed. I sneered in his face. I walked toward the door, my job here was done, and my place was now with Jane. She would be out of surgery soon and I wanted to be by her side. I stopped at the door and turned around before I pulled it open.

"Oh and Mr. Jefferson," I called, "I always keep my promises."


	30. What Dreams May Come

**A/N: I am so incredibly sorry that it's taken so long for me to update. This is actually the fourth version on this chapter...I scrapped the other three because they weren't up to my standards and I won't release something I don't love myself. Also my poor beta Mrj726 has been in and out of the hospital for the last several days and is sick as a dog...so please keep her in your prayers. Even so she worked as hard as she could on this update even though she was sick and I just want to say 'I LOVE you MJ!" Also I feel like I need to reiterate that this story is very AU and OOC...I was clear about that in my first author's notes but some of you may have forgotten by your reviews. That's ok. I do realize Jane and Maura in this story are nothing like what they are on TV and no they aren't perfect and never will be. I get that...I wrote it like that on purpose. Show me a perfect person and I'll show you a liar. Anyway...I hope you guys like the chapter...it's rough in the middle but it ends on a lighter note. The deep darkness is over...it's recovery and humor and fun times mostly from here on out. **

**Jane**

We never truly sleep, we are always awake. Our bodies may be at rest, but our minds are always working, living, and dreaming. During the darkest night, in our deepest sleep, our minds journey in a world of its own creation. The landscape is whatever our spirit allows, whatever our hearts feel, whatever we desire and truthfully love. Dynamic canvases of colors are animated in our dreamscape. Dreams dance wondrous things. These inner skylights are ours and ours alone. No human may know what we dream; they are often symbolic of our realest secrets and our truest selves. In our dreams we can be free of the darkness of the world, free of the confines that warp our waking minds, free of the pain that infects our bodies, free of everything. In dreams we fly, in dreams we dance. In dreams we remember striking, exquisite moments, the greatest triumphs of our lives. Where I was pain did not exist. Where I was I was not broken, I was not bruised, I was not sad or miserable or scared. I did not remember pain, I did not remember fear. In my dreams I was happy. In my dreams I could see her face, bright and shining. I could see her eyes, wide and excited. And that smile, I could see her smile. I remembered that smile, I remembered that night, I remembered her face. She was _so_ beautiful; her hair fell like waves of golden silk over her slightly tanned shoulders. She was laughing, the sound of her voice made me smile...timidly; I'd never seen this side of her before. She looked carefree, absent the burden of forced sophistication and the chains of her name, station, and responsibilities. She danced without a thought or care in the world outside her happiness and the giggles she gave only to me. The music played through the stereo speakers, a goofy song but Maura loved it and I loved her. She grooved around the living room in her little shorts and tank top, her white socks sliding across the floor as she tried to keep rhythm with the beat. Her hazel eyes were sparkling, her gorgeous lips spread across her face in a smile so lovely it took my breath away. Her smile found me every time she spun in my direction, her eyes twinkled, her face flushed from her dance. Franklin Thomas ran around her feet in circles yipping, barking and jumping excitedly. I saw the shining stars of the nocturnal sky through the huge wall sized windows on the far side of the living room. The night was tranquil and serene, but my heart was on fire. I watched her from the corner of the room, still too unsettled to run to her, too apprehensive of what she made me feel, of what she made me desire, of what she made me think. All I knew in that moment, as I watched her dance, was one simple thought...'she _is_ my dream.'

I brushed my dark and unkempt curls from my face and shuffled awkwardly. Maura called to me. Her voice resonated in my ear like notes of dulcet beauty. My smile was warm, but I still hesitated. I lowered my eyes and turned my head. I had been staring at her legs, her toned shapely legs. I had not realized what I was doing, my mind wandered, and my senses escaped me. But her voice snapped me back to reality. I felt my face blush at the thoughts I tried to deny I was thinking, but Maura just smiled wider. She ran to me and grabbed my hands. She pulled me into the living room and spun me in a circle; I twirled like a ballerina before Maura pulled me into her arms and held me tightly against her body. I giggled, Maura beamed. She put my hand on her shoulder and held my other gently in hers. She held my waist and led me through the steps of a dance I'd never done before. She was graceful yet firm. I followed her steps and let her lead me as she liked. I giggled the whole time but Maura's face was almost stone. I would have been alarmed if not for the playful gleam and amusement in her eyes. I understood Maura well enough to read into her, inside of her. Her face may have been stone but her eyes gleamed with love for me and an affection I only felt in her arms. Her hand on my waist made me burn with desire and the glimmer in her eyes were a open book of all the pleasure she would surely make me feel before the night was over. But in that moment we danced like only lovers do, and it was wonderful. I felt like a swan, or a flower in bloom. I felt like a princess and Maura, in her tiny shorts, her thin white tank top and her little white socks, was my prince. She lowered me into a dip and I squealed in delight. Franklin Thomas pranced around my head leaping up and licking my face. Maura pulled me back into her arms and I fell into her laughing lightly. Maura grinned. I wrapped my arms around her neck and she held my waist. I nuzzled my face into her hair and sighed softly. We moved slowly, our steps barely more than shuffles across the hardwood floor as we made circles in each other's arms. She whispered sweet things in my ear. Her voice made me sigh and her warm breath sent shivers down my spine. She held me closer and softly kissed my neck.

"I'm so happy I found you little princess," she whispered to me.

I smiled. I thought of when she first called me that...'little princess'. I thought of the first time we made love the night before. I thought of the ecstasy I felt. I thought of the tears I cried as she lay on top of me, inside of me, as she whispered my name when my legs trembled and my heart soared and my body erupted in pure delight and bliss. I thought of the color of Maura's eyes as she gazed down at me as the waves of my orgasm washed over me. I thought of the way her eyes burned and yet they looked so soft, sweet, and loving. They bored into me and looked deep inside. I had no secrets from her in that moment, she saw everything, she _was_ everything. Her eyes spoke to me, of affection, protection, and of love, so much love, a love I had never known existed. I remember in that moment, as I gazed up at the woman that had changed my life that I was hers, and she was mine, and we were one.

"The best thing that ever happened to me besides the birth of my daughter was the moment I met you." I said softly.

Maura smiled. She ran her fingers under my jaw and pulled me into a kiss so warm and passionate I melted. I let her kiss me deeply. I felt the fire stir in my body, I felt my heart break free of the chains I'd forged to hold it together so tightly and protect it from the world and its cruelty. But in that moment, there was no need for chains. I was safe in Maura's arms; my heart was safe in Maura's hands. She loved me, she would always love me. I knew it...I _knew_ it.

Memories can envelope us in dreams. Things forgotten or pushed into the recesses of the mind come out and play. Poignant moments that we once thought trivial, took for granted or held in vain become beacons to guide us, to help us realize what we have, or what may be lost if the darkness of our waking life clouds our hearts. Dreams are never silent things; they speak loud and clear if only we open our eyes to see.

I remembered that day. The warm summer breeze, the way her hair swept over her face, the way the flowers smelled, the way she laughed, the way the sunlight reflected in her eyes. I sat next to her on the bench smiling. Everything was beautiful to me in that moment. The people walked by smiling at us and Angela giggling in her arms. Maura was talking, chatting away. I do not remember what she was saying, I just remember what I was feeling...happy. I licked my ice cream in content; flavors of vanilla and chocolate filled my mouth and made me sigh. Maura was trying to lick her own ice cream while holding Angela's squirming body in her lap. Angela giggled and clapped her hands, her eyes sparkling and eyeing the ice cream eagerly. Her little feet kicked in her tiny pink shoes and she bounced in Maura's lap. Maura laughed and teased Angela with the ice cream cone. Angela, ever impatient, just grabbed the ice cream with her little hands and shoved it in her mouth laughing gaily and mischievously at Maura's stunned but smiling face. Maura's smile was beautiful as she shook her head at Angela.

"Baby you're such a messy little girl!" Maura sighed, leaning over to pull a wipe from the diaper bag.

Angela clapped her hands, ice cream on her fingers and mouth. She planted a sloppy, messy ice cream kiss on Maura's cheek when Maura leaned close to her. Maura squealed in shock. Angela just grinned playfully. I smiled at them both.

"Look what _your_ daughter did to my face," Maura said, feigning disapproval.

I knew she was not angry, even as ice cream slid down her chin. I leaned over and kissed her on the mouth, licking off the ice cream and planting light kisses on her sweet face. I started to pull away, but Maura leaned forward and took my mouth with hers. I felt her tongue slide between my lips and dance with my own. I wrapped my fingers in her soft, silky-smooth hair and kissed her back gently, the taste of ice cream and heaven covering my tongue. I pulled away from her slowly and looked deep into her eyes. The sunlight in her hair made it shine like pure gold, her eyes gleaming with desire and sincerity. I was lost in my love for her as she kissed me again under the warmth of the summer sun.

"So she's _my_ daughter when she's bad?" I teased Maura.

Maura rolled her eyes but her grin never left her face. She brushed my hair from my eyes as a warm breeze swept my curls in my face.

"She's so very much like you," Maura giggled. "Like mother like daughter,"

"Hey I can eat my ice cream without making a mess...usually." I laughed.

Maura just grinned, I knew she was thinking about that time I had in fact made a huge mess of myself trying to eat ice cream while I was watching a baseball game, but Maura didn't say the words. She was gracious and only gave me her best smile despite the knowing amusement I saw in her eyes. I started to pout anyway but I felt Maura's lips on mine again before I could work up a good grimace. There was nothing left to do but kiss her back. I could think of nothing else but the flush of my body and the burning in my heart when she kissed me like that. It felt like the world faded away and there was only she, I, our baby, and our love in that moment. When Maura finally broke the kiss she sat back looking at me starry eyed and sweet faced. She wiped her lipstick from my mouth with her thumb and I playfully swatted her away. Maura's eyes gleamed and she grabbed the back of my head and pulled me close landing many wet kisses all over my face so it was covered in her lipstick. I didn't mind. I pretended I did and squirmed and protested as her kisses fell all over me, but in truth there were no other kisses I cared to have in the world besides hers and I'd wear her lipstick proudly as testament of just how much I loved her...and how lucky I was. When I finally pulled away I smiled at her sincerely.

"She's _our_ daughter, Maura. You're Maddy and she loves you." I said gently wrapping my arm around Maura's shoulder and kissing her forehead. "She belongs to you as much as me."

Maura was beaming at me in between looking at a smiling Angela who was licking ice cream from her sticky fingers. Angela reached up and touched Maura's face with her messy hand and tried to stick a finger in Maura's mouth. Angela giggled wickedly at Maura's exclamations of her messiness. I giggled along with my daughter as I brushed Maura's hair from her face and wiped the ice cream from her cheek gently. Maura looked lovingly at me as I cleaned her face. The electricity between our bodies threatened to set me on fire. I felt drawn to her, like my only place in life was in her arms. She leaned her forehead against mine, our lips almost touching. She sighed softly in that moment, her eyes closed, her mind filing away the memory in her head, and her heart beating in rhythm with my own. I held her hand in mine, I kissed her fingers lightly. She opened her eyes to look at me; the hazel of her pupils was light and bright, the sun beaming right alone with her face. My breath caught deep in my throat. I'd never seen her look so pretty. I'd never been so happy. I'd never felt more in love.

"You're so pretty, Maura. Every time I look at you it takes my breath away. I can hardly breathe some times when I'm around you. The things you make me feel...God I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes and it can't be real. And then you smile at me...and it feels like I'm on fire and my heart melts and my knees go all weak. I sound like such an idiot talking like this but I can't help it!" I wailed in disbelief that I sounded like a cheesy love song. But in that instant Maura gave me that exact smile and I _did_ melt. I always would. Her smile...God she was beautiful.

"There's nothing I wouldn't do to see you smile," I whispered to her, my words shaky and unsteady from the flood of emotions she made me feel.

Maura's eyes lit up and rimmed with tears.

"I love you so much princess," She said softly. "I _love_ you _and_ our daughter."

One tear rolled from her eye. My heart broke in the way that hearts break sometimes when the feelings inside are so intense they threaten to consume you. I kissed the tear as it streamed down her cheek. I kissed her eye lid and enjoyed her playful laugh. I kissed the bridge of her nose and giggled when she squirmed. I kissed her lips, and she kissed mine and all there was in the world was beauty in that moment.

"I love you too angel...I'll always be there to kiss the ice cream off your face." I giggled at her playfully.

Maura smiled sweetly, Angela squealed in her arms. We looked at our daughter. In our distraction Angela had attacked Maura's ice cream cone again and she was covered in the stuff from head to toe. It was down the front of her overalls, all over her arms and even in her hair. I rolled my eyes, Maura laughed. I loved the sound.

One vision faded to another, one memory replaced with the next. I was lying in Maura's arms curled against her as she read. Her arm was wrapped around me, her fingers slid through my hair as she studied the words on the page. I lay quietly next to her, the silk of her nightgown slid through my fingers as I ran my hand over her stomach. I felt peace, there in her arms in our bed where we made love and fell asleep in each other's embrace. I always felt peace in our bed. I loved those quiet moments, where the madness of the day was replaced with the calmness of the night and there was nothing left but the love I had for her and she for me. I was spent and exhausted, my muscles ached inside from the love we made earlier. I lay naked in her arms, covered only by a sheet. Maura always loved when I slept naked in her arms. My thighs slid over each other slick and moist from the pleasure she gave me. My lips were smiling, remembering the way I'd cried for her in my moment of bliss and the fire in Maura's eyes as I covered her fingers with my essence and softly whispered her name just after I came. I wanted to close my eyes and sleep, but I did not want to miss a single moment with her. She was so pretty, with her reading glasses and the stern expression of concentration she always got when she was reading. I was enthusiastic but thoughtful about the following day, happy to be leaving for Boston with Maura. I was not afraid anymore to return to the city I had avoided for so long. I was not scared of anything in Maura's arms. She would protect me, I knew it, she promised me. She would always look after me.

"I'm going to take you to my favorite Italian place in Boston Maura," I whispered to her. "You like Italian don't you?"

Maura looked down at me. She had an odd smile on her face, playful and devilish.

"I like _you_ my little Italian princess," She laughed.

I giggled.

"I meant the _food_ Maura, do you like Italian food?" I whined.

Maura's smile looked playfully lewd and she arched her eye brow.

"I like eating you, so I'm going to say yes I do." She laughed running her tongue along her top teeth.

I rolled my eyes and poked her in the side, but I blushed and smiled none the less.

"Be _serious_ Maura...I want to show you all the stuff in Boston I love. I'll take you to the house I grew up in, and to my favorite park, and my favorite museum, and maybe we can catch a baseball game. That would be awesome...I _love_ baseball." I said excitedly.

I looked up into Maura's eyes hopefully. Maura smiled and kissed my forehead.

"I have a lot of work to do honey, but as soon as I get settled in at the department I will have more free time." Maura said. Her eyes seemed sad yet also sincere.

I whined.

"Is your cold case more important than me?" I pouted.

"Nothing is more important than the happiness of our family; it's all I think about. I _want_ to give you peace and happiness Jane, it's _all_ I want," Maura said looking right into my eyes.

Her eyes were bright with honesty, but there was something else in her eyes. Something dark, something I could not quite place.

"Being with you makes me happy." I smiled up at her.

Maura cocked her head and looked at me through hazy love struck eyes. She closed her book and pulled me into her body and landed kisses all over my head and face. I squealed and giggled in her arms. She tickled and pawed at my body and I shuddered as she crawled on top of me again. I tried to put up a fight but Maura was stronger than she looked and she made me weak when I felt her kisses on my breasts and her tongue run over my nipples. I shuddered and my breath hitched in my throat.

"Maura," Her name was all air and heaven on my tongue.

Maura covered her body with mine and looked down at me sweetly. Her hair tickled my face, her body sent sparks of hunger through my own and I wanted her so badly in that moment. I leaned up to kiss her and moaned softly into her mouth when she met my kiss with as much desire as I felt for her. I clawed at her night gown trying to pull it over her head but she stopped me. She grabbed my hands and held them firmly at her side. Her eyes burned the way they always did when I knew she would take me and ravish me and make me scream her name in pleasure and bliss.

"You're happiness is all I think about, it's all I want, it's all I desire, it's what I dream of every night. I'll do anything and everything in my power to make you happy little princess." Maura said kissing my forehead again.

"Promise?" I whispered up at her.

"Always," Maura said kissing my lips and sliding her hand between my legs.

I gasped and shuddered. I closed my eyes and pulled her body closer to mine. I held her tightly as she made love to me and I surrendered myself to her freely. When my pleasure came I cried her name as tears streamed down my face. Her kiss on my lips made my heart ache.

"You're everything to me," She whispered in my ear.

I had no breath to speak. All I could do was smile. I fell asleep in her arms with her kisses on my cheek.

"You're everything to me too," I said softly as my tired eyes finally closed. I fell asleep with her tears on my cheek.

In dreams we fly, in dreams we dance, in dreams we remember beautiful things, precious moments, the greatest triumphs of our lives...in our dreams we could have them forever. Dreams are peace when the world is cruel, happiness where our waking lives fail us, light where there is only darkness...but dreams do not last forever. We must wake, we must face this cold cruel world and the pain it brings upon us. We must fight to live, to love, and to survive, each moment more precious than the last until our final sleep comes for us and we may dream forever. Until then...we wake.

**Maura**

Seven days of darkness. Seven days of pain. Seven days in a world that knew no laughter and saw no smiles. Seven days of watching the woman I love suffer. Seven days of fear. Seven days of sleepless nights and each waking moment a nightmare I could not escape. Seven days since we arrived in New York. Seven days that felt like a year. But with each and every new day I still found it in myself to hope. I hoped and I prayed. Perhaps today she would love me. Perhaps today she would smile. Perhaps today the shadow above her would release her and give her back to me. Perhaps today I would slay her demons. Perhaps today I would beat back her pain. Perhaps today she would not suffer...perhaps today...perhaps today. If not today, then maybe tomorrow, and if not that day, then hopefully the next. I only knew I would never stop fighting, I would not surrender. I would journey on into whatever nightmare; battle for battle, blood for blood, tear for tear until I won and Jane was mine again heart and soul. I would _never_ let her go.

Jane stood awkwardly in the corner of the bathroom. She held the blanket around her body tightly. She did not lift her head. She did not meet my eyes. Her long dark curls fell in her face hiding her bruises from me and the world. She did not want me to see her; she flinched and turned away every time I reached for her. I watched her reflection in the mirror as I laid out the plastic to wrap her cast before she took a shower. She looked so small and frail standing hunched and shaking in the corner. I sighed heavily. I blinked back my tears. I wanted to hold her, so much, with everything inside of me I just wanted to hold her. My arms ached for her, my fingers craved to touch her hair and face; my eyes were starving to see her dark brown eyes absent the pain I knew was there. Jane had not really met my eyes in seven long days, and even if she did, they were void and empty. She stared at nothing, her gaze far away and distant, her eyes hollow and her expression vacant. When I touched her I felt her body shake, and she would whimper as if she were petrified. Even the softest touch made her shudder. Even my softest voice made her balk. I spoke to her only in whispers; I touched her only with my fingertips. I fought back my tears with all my strength every time I looked at her. I loved her so much, even now, she was beautiful to me. I wanted to tell her that, I wanted to tell her I loved her and that she was the world to me. But each time I said those words, even in whispers, tears would leak from the hollows of her dark distant eyes. She would hang her head and cry softly to herself. She would cover her face to hide her bruises from me, and her expression showed only a shame that was not hers to bear. My heart broke; it shattered into a million pieces every time she would hide from me. I would reach for her, but she would shy away, I would speak to her and she would tremble. Even still, I loved her so much, I kept trying and I would never stop.

I looked at my own reflection in the mirror. I barely recognized my face. My eyes had dark circles under them, my face looked gaunt and pale, and my mouth sagged at the corners making my already desperate eyes look even more hollowed and depressing. My hair was frazzled and stringy; I had not brushed it in days. Every waking moment of my life was spent in service of Jane and our daughter. I cared _nothing_ for myself. My every breath and heartbeat I gave to Jane. Sleep rarely came for me, and when it did it was fitful and full of nightmares. I seldom ate, and when I did I ate very little. Food had become bland and tasteless meant only for sustenance; there was no joy in any bite I took. My eyes would always wander to Jane's empty chair at our table and my lips would tremble and food would no longer pass between them. What joyful moments I did have were with my daughter in my arms. Yet even she had been abnormally quiet and her giggles that always made me feel so light and free came few and far between. The very air in the apartment was cold, lonely and screaming with silence. Even Franklin Thomas walked with light feet and hid in corners, his eyes sad and uncertain. Jane would not touch him or even acknowledge his presence. I had no time for him; his only comfort was Consuela who was the only one to remember to feed him and walk him and give him kind words. Consuela rarely spoke to me and when she did it was only to try and get me to eat or ask after Jane. I rarely answered her with words. I only sighed and shook my head and walked away heartbroken again. My mother stopped by often with food or gifts or words of comfort. She tried to talk to me, but conversation brought me no joy, the only voice I wanted to hear was Jane's, and she had no words for me.

I tried many times to get Jane to hold our child, but she would not touch her. She would not even look at her. She would turn her head, close her eyes and tears would stream down her face. That broke my heart more than anything else. I did not understand. Angela was so beautiful and so precious. Jane loved Angela...I _knew_ she did. But she could not even look upon her face. I would cry then, when Jane turned away from our child. I could not help myself. I could not bear to see the way Angela would squeal for her excitedly and reach for her with her tiny hands only to have Jane turn away. Angela would look at me so sadly, her big brown eyes not understanding why her mother would not hold her. But Angela did not cry. She wrapped her arms around my neck and sighed softly in my hair. When I lay her in her crib she would turn her back to me and stare off at nothing.

Jane did nothing but sleep. Our room had become something like a dark cave, a tomb for the joy that once filled our bed and the pleasure we found there in each other's arms. Jane only woke when I changed her bandages or tried in vain to get her to eat. When I had to apply the ointment between her legs she would shake violently and cry softly to herself. She would pull the covers over her face, and I could hear her sobbing and feel her legs quivering. Her cries broke my heart. I would always be as gently as I could. I would talk to her while I did it, and tell her stories of beautiful things, of precious moments I remembered with her, of all the love I had in my heart for only her. I would keep my voice light and cheerful and sometimes if I had the strength I would smile at her. But her eyes held only tears and her face showed only shame. Every time she looked at me that way my gentle words would catch in my throat and my eyes would burn screaming to cry the tears that were always in my heart. But I could not cry. I loved Jane and she had to understand that she was beautiful to me, that I was not ashamed of her, that she was still my little princess. But sometimes despite how hard I tried my own pain broke free and tears would stream down my face as I worked. I would hide my face from Jane, but I knew she saw my tears. When I would finish she would turn her back to me and stare off at nothing just the way our daughter did. I would leave her then and cry angry tears alone in a corner until my body ached from the pain in my heart and my soul felt empty and spent of all I had to give. But each day I would find new strength, each morning I would find new hope, each moment I just kept fighting. Perhaps today...perhaps today.

Sometimes when she was sleeping I would sneak into our bed and wrap my arms around her and nuzzle my face in her hair. I would inhale deeply the essence of her and tears would come to my eyes. I would kiss her face and watch her as she slept. I just wanted to be close to her, and feel her in my arms. I ached so badly to hold her; it was all I wanted in this world, to wrap her in my arms. Sometimes I would read to her while she slept. I would pretend that she would laugh, or smile, or look up at me enthusiastically the way she used to when she would listen to me read. I would run my fingers through her hair as I read and it would bring me comfort. I liked to pretend that she loved me in her dreams while she was sleeping. I liked to imagine her smile, her happy brown eyes, and her kiss. I loved to imagine her kiss. But I had not felt such things in many days, and the only kisses I knew I stole from her as she was sleeping. I touched my lips as I stared at myself in the mirror. They looked thin and lifeless, like the absence of Jane's touch was starving them of all existence. I sighed heavily and looked back at Jane again. She was still huddled in the corner.

I gathered the plastic in my hands and approached her slowly. Jane didn't like rapid movements.

"Little princess," I called to her softly. "Are you ready to take a shower?"

Jane fidgeted in the corner and looked up at me through distant eyes. She did not speak. She only nodded her head. I walked carefully to her. I tried to pull the blanket off her shoulders but she jumped and held it tighter against her. I felt her body shaking.

"It's ok my love. I'm not going to hurt you. You know that princess. I'm never going to hurt you." I whispered.

I brushed Jane's hair from her face. She tried to pull away and hide her bruises again, but I did not let her turn away. I cradled her face in my hands and smiled at her as warmly as I could. She lowered her eyes and stared down at the floor. I brushed my thumb over her cheeks and stepped closer to her, so our bodies were almost touching. Jane's therapist said repeated exposure and gentle touches were necessary to retrain Jane to understand that she could trust me, I would not hurt her, and that I loved her. She said it would take time, patience, and all my love to see Jane through this. I'd never put much stock in therapy before. I always thought the study of the mind was a vague and uncertain science, but I would do anything..._anything_ to help Jane understand that I loved her, so much... and that I would always love her. I talked to the therapist every day, on the phone or in our home as Jane slept. I just needed someone to talk too, someone who understood, and someone who could tell me how to fix this. I _had_ to know how to help Jane get better, help her to trust again and how to give her everything she needed. I soaked up every word the therapist said to me like oxygen and filed them away in my memory. I would forget nothing and I would give everything and all that I was to Jane.

"I'm going to take off the blanket now sweetheart. I'll be careful ok. I won't hurt you." I said gently.

I slowly pulled the blanket off Jane's shoulders. She resisted at first but I stepped closer to her and whispered softly in her ear.

"It's ok my love. I won't hurt you. You're safe here...I got you sweetheart." I softly spoke to her.

Eventually, Jane let me pull the blanket from her shoulders. I kept my face close to hers so our cheeks were almost touching. I felt the heat radiating from her body, I felt her fear. It was palpable, like a living breathing thing I could reach out and touch. I vowed that one day I would slay that thing with the dagger of my love...one day...perhaps today. I carefully unbuttoned her pajama top. She flinched when I tried to take it off her body but I shushed her softly. I kissed her bruised cheek several times to still her. This time she did not pull away from my kisses. I was surprised at this, but I was careful not to be overzealous. My heart beat picked up its pace as I leaned my cheek into hers and pulled her shirt over her shoulders to fall on the floor at her feet. Jane immediately wrapped her arms around her breasts. She began to shake violently. I was careful with her. I did not move to touch her again. I moved back several steps very slowly.

"It's ok little princess...it's ok." I said softly.

I reached my hand out and lifted her face so she was looking at me. I held her face there for several long moments communicating non-verbally with her that I would not hurt her, that I loved her, that she was safe here with me. I held her gaze as I slowly started undoing the buttons of my own blouse with one hand. I pulled the blouse off my body and tossed it on the counter. I unfastened my bra and let it fall away from me. I unzipped my skirt and stepped out of it. I pulled off my panties and let them drop. I pulled off my heels and tossed them aside. I stood with my palms up in submission never taking my eyes from Jane's face.

"I'm not going to hurt you sweetheart. Can I help you undress now?" I whispered.

Jane seemed less afraid now that I was naked. Her therapist said the best way to reach her was to present myself vulnerable just as she was and she would slowly start to trust me. Jane slowly nodded her head before turning her eyes away from me again. I walked to her and wrapped her in my arms. I did not hold her too tightly. Her broken ribs caused her a tremendous amount of pain and I always had to be careful. I felt Jane shudder in my embrace, but she leaned her head on my shoulder as I held her and my heart overflowed with love. I pulled her closer against me and landed many kisses in her hair and on her shoulders and her neck. It felt so good to have her in my arms. Even though she was still shaking against me, I savored this moment; I whispered soft words of comfort and simple encouragements in her ear. I ran my fingertips over her back gently, the muscles beneath her smooth skin shuddered at my touch. I was careful with her. I did not kiss her hard. They were soft easy kisses, just the lightest brush of my lips against her skin. But the taste of her filled my heart with hope and love. Just this small act of trust and surrender from Jane felt like heaven. I wanted to hold her tightly, I wanted to lift her into my arms and rock her back and forth and keep her forever in the love of my embrace but I could not push. The feeling of her head on my shoulders made my knees feel weak and my heart flutter in my chest. I stood there for many long moments holding my girlfriend, the love of my life, the mother of my child gently in my arms. This one small step felt like a major victory. Her hair on my shoulders set my skin tingling, but I fought desperately to control myself. I didn't want Jane to mistake my excitement as a threat. I didn't want to rush this moment. I would hold her as long as she would let me until she knew and understood again, that I would always be there to hold her. She was my everything.

"Can I take off your pants sweet heart?" I whispered softly in her ear.

At first I felt Jane tense up. I didn't move though. I just waited holding her close against me and letting her feel her way to understanding that she was safe with me. Then after a few moments, I felt Jane nod her head on my shoulder. I slowly pulled away from her and lifted her chin so she was looking at me again. She met my eyes with hers, they were not so distant. She was looking right at me, into me, studying me. I smiled at her as best I could. I did not want her to see my anxiety, sense of loss, or my own pain. But I had not looked so deeply into her eyes in many days and I did not realize until that moment just how much I had missed her. I kissed her again, just below her eye and when she did not flinch, I kissed her at the corner of her mouth, and when she did not flinch, I kissed her softly on her lips. Just a peck. But I felt Jane's lips close over mine for that one sweet second and I could have burst into flames from joy and elation. But then Jane lowered her eyes again and turned her head. I slowly bent down to help her from her pajama pants. I felt her hand on my shoulder for balance as she stepped from the pants and stood naked in front of me. I smiled at her and kissed her cheek again before I carefully wrapped her cast in the plastic to protect it from the shower water.

Jane leaned against me as I washed her back. I was extremely gentle with her. The hot water ran down our bodies and Jane sighed softly against my neck. She loved the shower. I kissed her shoulders as I washed her. She did not brush me away. She looked down at me as I washed her legs and her feet. I felt her run her fingers through my hair and I looked up at her smiling. She did not return my smile, but she did not turn her eyes from me. I kissed her bruised ribs and her stomach and her hips. I heard her sigh again and her hands tightened in my hair. She flinched when I washed her breasts and she tried to pull away when I washed between her legs, but I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her into me again.

"I won't hurt you sweetheart. I won't hurt you. You're doing so well. You're so brave...you've always been strong and brave. Can you be brave for me now and let me help you get all squeaky clean?" I whispered to her.

I heard her whimper in my ear but she wrapped her arms around my neck and nodded her head. Her body shook when I touched her there. I fought back my tears and fought hard to even my breath. This place, between her legs, was where I'd found my greatest joy. It was where I worshipped her, where I lay my heart at her feet, where I expressed my every feeling and my every desire for her in honor of her and our love. The place between her legs was precious to me and it belonged only to us. I know that man had hurt her there, stolen what was Jane's and what was mine. I know that Jane felt shame over her suffering; I saw it in her eyes. So far, nothing I said made Jane understand, accept, or believe that she was still exquisite to me. That what was between her legs was still precious to me, and always would be, no matter what had been done to her. I felt her legs shake when the sponge passed between her legs and I had to hold her tightly to support her so she didn't fall. But she let me do it. Though I would have understood completely, I was so grateful she did not break down and cry. Her tears made my heart ache to the point of breaking and I did not want her to see me start crying. She watched me as I washed my body. Her eyes were soft and never left my face. I would lean in and kiss her from time to time, letting her know that I was still there, that I would always be there, I would never hurt her. I dried her off gingerly when our bathing was done. I sat her on the counter and put lotion on her skin. I felt her hands in my hair as I put lotion on her feet. I looked up at her and she was smiling. Just slightly. It was just a twinkle of the little grin that made my heart skip a beat in my chest.

"What's so funny?" I asked curiously.

"It tickles," Jane whispered.

Her speech was thick and slow from the stitches in her mouth, but her voice made my heart soar and my jaw drop. It was still her voice. The voice that I hadn't heard for so long except to hear her as she wept. I was shocked to hear it now. I stood quickly and looked at her wide-eyed and startled. I could hardly breathe. I felt tears burning behind my eyes. Seven long days I had been absent the pleasure of so much as a single word from her. Was today the day she acknowledged the love we have? Was today the day I would win my first battle...could we be so lucky? I slowly moved my hand to her face. It was shaky and unsteady from my excitement. I cradled her cheek in my hand and smiled at her as tears rolled down my face. So many emotions overcame me. I felt my chest bursting with love and hope. She had only spoken two words barely above a whisper, but the sound of her voice was a chorus to my ears. I dared to step closer to her. She did not flinch. I put my hands on the counter on either side of her and leaned my forehead against hers. Our lips were so close together they were almost touching. I felt her body shudder when I wrapped her in my arms. I pulled her into me and stood there rocking her in my arms. Our damp skin slid over each others, our breasts touched, I felt her heart beat in her chest as I held her. I fell into the rhythm of her heart and knew mine beat in tandem with hers. I ran my fingers up her sides softly and felt Jane shudder and squirm.

"Tickles," Jane said again.

I felt myself laughing through my tears. I kept running my fingers over her sides and Jane giggled in my ear. Her laughter set my soul on fire. I pulled back and looked at her as she squirmed. Her head was bowed and her hair covered her face, but I heard her soft giggles as I tickled her none the less. I could have died of happiness. The tears on my face were those of joy, _unspeakable_ joy. They were a light in the darkness of my nightmares. They were a sound of triumph in my despair. They were a beacon of hope in my misery and they were beautiful...so beautiful..._so_ beautiful. I had prayed so hard to hear her laugh again. I had prayed on my knees with all that was in me that Jane might know joy again. My spirit, broken from so much hurt, had wished to know this moment, to hear her voice, to know that somewhere, somehow, my Janie was still with me and that her spirit had not been broken. That I could help save her and that she would let me love her again. I needed to know I was strong enough, brave enough to walk this road of darkness with her and bring her back into our life together. I had cried for her so long, so hard, so desperately for so many days and nights. I fought for her, battled for her, neglected myself and forsaking all others in care of her and just to hear her laugh...it took my breath away. I fell to my knees at her feet. I looked up at her as the tears streamed from my eyes. I knew I was smiling, a genuine smile. I did not have to force, nor did I have to pretend. The sound of her voice split my face into a grin it had not worn in so long my muscles ached from the action. I leaned my forehead against her knees and kissed them with quaking lips. I felt her hand in my hair again. It was a soft touch, a gentle touch; it felt like the kiss of an angel. I looked up at her still smiling; she looked down at me with curious eyes. I felt her hand on my face. I clasped her hand and kissed her wrist many times. She smiled at me and I was flying.

She was quiet while I dressed her in sweats and a Red Sox t shirt. She did not speak again; she flinched if I moved too fast in my excitement. I had to work hard to calm myself and be steady and gentle with her. I had to remember she was still hurting, despite her giggle and the brief smile she gave me. But I had hope now. I could see her through this, I could do it...I _would_ do it. I touched her more often, but still carefully. I did not want to alarm her in any way. I took her fingers gently in mine and led her to the bedroom again where she sat gingerly on the bed.

"Sweetheart. Would you like to go outside today? We could walk through the gardens and sit in the sunshine...would you like that?" I asked her gently.

I ran my fingers through her damp hair as I spoke to her. She looked up at me nervously. Her eyes flitted toward the windows and I saw her shoulders sag and her head bow again. I sighed but I did not let it discourage me.

_"It will take time and patience_," I remembered the words the therapist spoke to me.

I nodded my head to myself.

_"I will never leave her_," I remembered the words I'd spoken so often to so many people for so many days.

Those words more than just the formation of speech on my tongue. Those words were a part of me. They were the rock on which I stood. The platform of my love for Jane. They were a truth I could neither deny nor escape. Those words were more than just words. They were a vow and a covenant. They were a promise written across my soul and they were everything to me. Whatever it took, no matter how long I would have to suffer, I would never leave her. I lowered myself to my knees again and took her hand in mine. She did not look at me. But I was not worried. I knew she felt my touch. I knew she felt my love. Within the great darkness she was wrestling with, I absolutely knew she felt my love. I ran my thumb over her knuckles softly. I kissed her fingers where her nails were missing but she jumped and pulled her hand away from me. She buried her hand under her arm pit and I heard her whimper. My heart broke. I had not meant to frighten her. I should not have touched her there, reminding her of how she got those wounds and her trauma. I cursed myself in my head. I gritted my teeth and fought back my tears. I closed my eyes tightly and took a deep breath.

"I'm so sorry baby girl. It's ok. Please don't be scared sweetheart. I love you, and you don't need to be frightened. You know I love you." I whispered up at her.

Jane's eyes slowly found mine. I saw all of her pain in that one moment. All of the joy from moments before at hearing her giggle was robbed from me as I gazed into her eyes. My heart sank in my chest. I reached for her face with an unsteady hand but pulled it back again, afraid of hurting her. I swallowed my tears. I lowered my eyes from hers. I could not look into the face of her agony. It tore at me, broke my heart into pieces, and I did not want to cry. I brushed my tears from my cheeks quickly before Jane could see them but the pain inside me was threatening to boil over.

"Excuse me for a moment," I whispered before rushing into the bathroom and closing the door behind me.

My tears came as soon as the door was closed. I walked to the toilet and sat down. I covered my face with my hands and sobbed so hard my face stung and my whole body shook in my grief. My chest heaved, my lungs burned and hot tears streamed down my face. I thought of all the happy times I'd spent with Jane. I thought of all the ways I loved her, of all the reasons I would always love her. I thought of her smile when I first saw the bike she bought me. I thought of how happy I had been as she ran beside me trying to teach me to balance. I felt like I was flying and dancing at the same time. I thought of Jane's goofy grin when she told a joke. I thought of the smell of her hair when she would fall asleep in my arms. I thought of how happy I was dancing in her arms. I thought of how stunning she was in her white suit and how proud she was when she stood next to me. I thought the mornings I woke beside her and the first thing I saw was her sleeping face. I thought of the way she used to hug me, so tightly, like she never wanted to let me go. I thought of her kisses on my lips, so soft and so sweet. I thought of the way she used to say my name and how my heart would melt each and every time. I wanted my life back, I wanted my Jane back, I wanted her to be happy, and love me, and let me hold her and touch her and all the things that made me feel like I was in heaven. But her pain was so much to bear. I would do all I could, I would never leave her...but my heart ached too. That man had hurt me too. I _hated_ him... I hated him _so_ much. I wanted my baby back...I wanted her _back_! I cried so hard I did not hear the door open. I did not see her standing there. I did not see the way she looked at me, the way her heart broke, the tears in her eyes. I did not notice her at all until I felt her hand in my hair. I jumped so hard I almost fell off the toilet. When my eyes found hers I cried out in panic. I brushed my tears from my face as fast as I could and forced myself to choke down my grief.

"Janie..." I exclaimed. "I'm sorry I...I thought I was alone!" I cried.

I rushed to the sink and pulled a towel from the rack. I winced when I saw my face in the mirror. My eyes were blood red and my face was tear-streaked and pathetic. I took great heaving breaths to control myself and covered my face with the towel. I felt my body shake as I held the towel over my face trying desperately with all my might to steady myself. I had to be strong. I had to face this. I could do this...I could be strong for Jane. I loved her...I _loved_ her. I could be strong for her. I felt her hand on my shoulder and I lowered the towel from my face. She was watching me in the reflection in the mirror. Her eyes looked bright, almost innocent. She brushed my hair from my face with her fingers. She looked sad when she saw how pitiful I looked. I saw her face fall. I saw her chin quiver. I saw a tear roll from her eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Maura." Jane whispered.

She lowered her eyes from mine in the mirror. She stepped back from me and started wiping her hands on her shirt. Her face was scrunched up in disgust. Her eyes were wrinkled in misery. I heard her choke on her sobs and her breath was rapid and shallow. I spun around and reached for her but she stepped back unsteady in her grief.

"Don't _touch_ me...I'm dirty. I'm so _dirty_. I can still _feel_ him on me. _In_ me. _Touching_ me. "She cried.

My heart broke.

"You're _not_ dirty sweetheart." I said, my voice cracking.

"I am..._I am_. I can't even touch my baby because I don't want him on her. I can _feel_ him on me. All the time, every day...I can _feel_ him on me. I can't get him _off_ of me." Jane's breath was growing more and shallow.

She was shaking and wringing her hands and wiping them on her shirt obsessively.

"I have to leave; I have to get out of here. I can't stay. I can't be around you anymore. You're so pretty, and so sweet, and so good and I'm...I'm...I'm just _filth_," She cried.

"Stop that...Jane..._stop that_," I said.

I forgot all that the therapist said to me. I forgot to be gentle. I forgot to whisper. I forgot to be patient and tender. I ran to her. I wrapped her in my arms. I held her so tightly I could feel her heart beat against mine.

"You're _mine_ Jane. You're not going anywhere. I'm not going to stop loving you; I'm not going to stop caring for you. You are _not_ dirty baby...you're _beautiful_. You've _always_ been beautiful. He can't take that from you, he can't take my love from you." I whispered in her ear.

"How can you love me? How can you love me now? I let him hurt me. I let him rape me. I tried to fight but I just couldn't get away in time… I'm so dirty...I'm so..."

Jane's voice trailed off as her tears took her again. My heart ached and I wanted to break again. But I would not give in this time. I would win this war. I would fight for her, I would fight for her love and for the love I would give her. She was _my_ Jane, _my_ princess, _my_ love. She was everything to me. I gritted my teeth in my head. I leaned down and scooped her into my arms and carried her back to our bed. I cradled her in my arms as she cried and I rocked her back and forth. I shushed her softly and kissed her face many times. I would not let her go.

"I'm so sorry Maura," Jane cried and cried. "I'm _so_ sorry...I'm _so_ sorry...I'm _so_ sorry,"

Jane's tears shook my body they were so strong and ferocious. But I held her still, I kissed her, I rocked her gently in my arms that were made only to love her.

"You have nothing to be sorry about sweetheart. Nothing. You did _nothing_ wrong. You will always be my little princess...always." I said softly in her ear.

Jane looked up at me through her tears. I saw doubt all over her face, doubt and fear and self loathing.

"How can you still love me?" she asked me again softly.

I smiled down at her.

"Because you are my sunshine. You are the light in my life. You are what makes me smile, you are what makes me laugh, you are what makes me happy, you are what makes be believe in myself, in you, in love, in everything. For you I breathe, and it's you I love and I always will baby...I _always_ will!" I whispered against her lips.

Jane looked incredulous.

"What?" She wailed.

I leaned in and kissed her lips. I kissed them softly. I kissed them like I'd always dreamed of kissing them since the moment I lay eyes on her. I kissed them like I was the desert and she was the rain. I kissed them like the bee kisses the flower. I kissed them like the moon kisses the night sky. I kissed them like a cool breeze kisses a face on a hot summer day. I kissed them like I loved her. She hesitated at first. Her body tensed in my arms. She squirmed and whined to be released from me. But I did not stop. I was not forceful. I was not overbearing. But I took her lips in mine and savored the taste of her, the softness of her. At long last I felt her body slowly relax in my arms. She kissed me timidly at first, uncertain of herself and of me. I slowly pulled away and looked at her. I did not want to push her too far. I leaned my forehead against hers and smiled at her lovingly. Jane looked at me with almost hopeful eyes. She looked dazed and her eye lids were low. I tickled her sides again and she giggled and squirmed in my lap.

"Sweetheart," I whispered softly.

Jane wrapped her fingers in my hair and looked deep into my eyes. Her gaze was searching, piercing, and cautious. I did not let my eyes fall from hers. I looked right back at her, with all my love as I rocked her gently in my lap. Jane wrapped her arm around my shoulder and we sat there silently looking into one another. I felt her fingers run through my hair. I saw her eyes soften. I felt her muscles relax. I closed my eyes and shuddered as her fingers ran through my hair. I loved the touch, I loved the feeling, and I loved the gentleness of the action however small. I'd been absent her touch for so long that this moment, with her in my arms, and her lips so close to mine was a feeling I could not describe. It was brilliant and wonderful. I cherished her and her sweet big brown eyes that looked at me so innocently, guilty of no crime but loving me more that I had ever known.

"Do you really still love me, Maura?" Jane whispered to me.

She lowered her eyes and looked uncertain of herself. Her voice was sad and doubtful. I kissed her cheek softly before I began to sing for her.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are grey, I only know dear, how much I love you, please don't take my sunshine away."

I sang softly into her ear. I sang the song many times, over and over. I rocked her slowly and held her gently and kissed her face in between verses. By the third go around tears were streaming from her eyes. She leaned her head on my shoulder and closed her eyes. I cradled her face in my hand as I sang. Tears of my own fell into her soft dark locks. My lips trembled as I sang to her. By the last time I could barely sing above a whisper and when I finished my heart was exploding in my chest. Jane sat up in my lap and gazed at me lovingly. The very air around us was heavy with unspoken words and the heat between our bodies. Our faces inched closer and closer together. I could feel her warm sweet breath on my face. Just before our lips touched she whispered to me...

"...I love you too,"

And we kissed. It was beautiful, it was slow, it was tender, it was magic and miracles, heaven and earth, sunshine and rain, it was everything. I melted into her. She was mine, and I was hers, and we were one.

**Jane**

Maura was running around the kitchen in something very close to a panic. I sat in a chair at the dining room table watching her quietly. My body hurt everywhere and all my muscles were stiff from lying in bed like a corpse for a week. My ribs ached, my arm hung in its sling and throbbed every time I jostled or bumped it. My tongue hurt and so did my forehead from all the stitches. The space between my legs hurt too, but I tried not to think about why that was. It always made me cry and I didn't want Maura to see me cry anymore. I was trying to be brave. I would not mention my pain to her. I hated the way her face fell and her eyes burned with tears whenever I would cry or whimper in pain. The last week had been hell, worse than hell. But I would not think of that now. Maura was smiling, for the first time in a week, and it made me happy to see her this way. I would not rob her of her joy. I'd caused her enough pain. Over the last week all I'd done was sleep, and cry, and feel sorry for myself. I had not even the strength to notice how much Maura was hurting. All I'd cared about was myself, my grief and my agony. I slept because the only peace I found was in the land of dreams. But each time I would wake it felt like nightmares were going to unravel me even though I would find her there, ever present, ever tender, and ever kind. I kept thinking for the longest time that she would leave me, that she would not want me anymore, and that I was ugly, dirty and broken. But she did not leave. I don't even think she had slept in God knows how long. She looked unnaturally thin like she hadn't been eating and her face was gaunt and hollow. But she was still gorgeous, even now.

Ever since I'd agreed to eat something Maura's eyes had lit up like the stars and she was scrambling around the kitchen trying to find something that I could stomach and would like. I watched her staring inside the freezer scratching her head and mumbling to herself.

"I'm really not that hungry Maura," I said softly from my chair.

It was hard to speak. The stitches in my tongue hurt so I stayed quiet most of the time. But I felt bad for making Maura panic the way she was trying to find me food. Maura closed the freezer and turned around to look at me.

"You _promised_ you'd eat, Jane." She reminded me firmly.

I sighed.

"I know," I said hanging my head.

I wanted to eat only to please Maura. I really _wasn't_ that hungry, but she was insistent and I didn't want to upset her or hurt her anymore so I agreed. Maura thought hard for a few moments before a smile crossed her face.

"I know what you'd like!" She said excitedly.

"What's that?" I asked.

I winced when my stitches felt like they were tearing my tongue. I tried to hide it from Maura, but there was nothing that woman missed when it came to me. She was by my side in an instant.

"Does your tongue hurt sweetheart?" She asked me tenderly.

Her eyes were wide with concern and she touched my face gently. She was always gentle when she touched me; like she was afraid I'd break all over again. I hated that she felt like she had to treat me like a child, but inside I was comforted by her gentleness. Her touch was soft, careful and tender. Somehow it made me feel comfortable despite my pain.

"No," I lied.

Maura cocked her head and raised her eye brow at me. She knew I was lying. I don't even know why I bothered lying to her. She could sniff me out like a bloodhound. Her face was covered in that expression that brokered no argument and she lifted my chin carefully with her fingers and slipped an ice cube between my lips from the cup on the table. I was supposed to be feeding myself ice cubes, but my fingers hurt and I couldn't dig them out of the glass. But Maura seemed more than happy to do it herself. She brushed her thumb over my lips when I smiled up at her gratefully. The ice felt good on my tongue.

"Is that better?" She asked.

I nodded my head. I loved the smile she gave me. It made me feel warm. She leaned over and kissed the top of my head before returning to the freezer.

"I'll clip your stitches tomorrow sweetheart. Your tongue will still hurt for another week or so, but the stitches can come out so it will be easier for you," Maura said as she pulled several containers of ice cream from the freezer.

"You're letting me have ice cream for breakfast Maura?" I asked curiously as Maura scooped great heaps of ice cream into two bowls.

She looked up and smiled at me. I loved her smile.

"Something sweet for my sweet heart," She giggled. "Besides, ice cream will be good for your tongue and easy to swallow."

I grinned at her. She brought the bowls of ice cream to the table and set one in front of me. She sat next to me and smiled at me encouragingly. When I returned her smile I saw her heart melt. She rubbed my back gently as I tried to pick up the spoon with my injured fingers but I just couldn't seem to grasp it. I fumbled with it clumsily until I dropped it and it clattered to the floor. I cursed and hung my head shamefully angry that I couldn't even feed myself. I pushed the bowl away from me and turned my head from Maura. I hated being helpless and I hated her seeing me like this. I felt tears stinging my eyes but Maura was sweet, and kind. She turned my head back to her gently with her fingers. Her eyes were filled with love. She took her own spoon and scooped up some ice cream and held it up to my mouth. I started to protest but as I looked into Maura's bright shining eyes and the sweet smile on her face I could not bring myself to pout and hurt her. I swallowed my pride and opened my mouth. The ice cream was delicious, smooth and sweet. I sighed and closed my eyes and it melted on my tongue. It felt so good a chill ran down my spine. I felt Maura's kiss on my cheek and I opened my eyes to smile at her again. The smell of her perfume made me think of nice things, of the happy dreams I had where all the memories of our love danced for me in my head. She tried to feed me another scoop but I pulled away.

"You have to eat too," I said honestly.

She looked like she'd lost ten pounds in a week and it disturbed me to know her worry for me was the cause of that. I smiled as she ate the scoop herself. I looked around the kitchen and frowned slightly. It was so quiet in the apartment, almost dreary. It felt odd and empty like so many things were missing.

"Where's...where's Angela? And my puppy?" I asked softly.

I lowered my eyes again. I missed my child. I missed her face and her giggles and her laugh. I missed her in my arms and the feel of her hair on my cheek. But in my darkest hours I could not bring myself to hold her. My skin crawled at the thought of how that man hurt me. I felt tainted, gross, filthy and dirty. Like I was an infectious disease that would spread if other's touched me, and I didn't want to stain the innocence of my little girl. I still felt him on me, even now as I sat with Maura. But I loved Maura more than the pain in my heart and my soul. Her touch was soft, and her touch was gentle and her kisses made me feel real again. Like I was worthy of more than just my pain. She made me feel worthy of her, even now after than man had...

I missed Angela now; I just wanted to hold her. Maura still loved me, she had touched me and she was still beautiful. Perhaps my child in my arms would make me happy again and I would not feel him on me anymore.

"My mother and Consuela took Franklin Thomas to day care and Angela to breakfast earlier. I wanted to be alone with you for a while," Maura said almost sadly.

"Oh, it's ok." I said offhandedly.

I lowered my eyes but I did not cry. I would not let Maura see me cry. Still, I missed my baby. I heard Maura sigh and felt her hand on my knee squeezing lightly.

"Honey," Maura said as she shoveled more ice cream in my mouth. "Addison has a friend at her practice, a therapist named Violet. I was thinking we could go see her together and talk about some things." She said in a somewhat tense tone of voice.

I looked at her inquisitively.

"You don't believe in therapy," I pointed out.

Maura seemed nervous all of a sudden.

"I didn't but...she could help us I think. She could help you deal with your pain," Maura said.

I hung my head. I didn't like talking to strangers. I didn't like that Maura thought I was so fucked up I needed to talk to a stranger about it. I didn't even want to leave the apartment. I was safe here with Maura. She made sure of that. But outside the world was dark and cruel and there were people out there that would hurt me. I didn't want to hurt anymore. Maura sensed my anxiety. I felt her hand on the small of my back.

"Baby I'll be right there with you. I won't push you and you don't have to talk about anything that makes you uncomfortable. I can even have her come to the apartment if you would like that better. But I need this as much as you; we will do this together like partners." Maura tried to encourage me.

I sighed.

"But I have you to talk to. You help me with everything." I said earnestly.

Maura looked sad for some reason.

"I do all I can for you princess." Maura said softly.

There was a certain pain in her expression. She looked at me steadily, but her eyes were heavy and full of sadness. Her jaw worked as she tried to find the words to say. Her eyes became shiny with tears. She reached for my hand but pulled back quickly like she'd touched something hot. She seemed uncertain of herself and what to say or do. But I saw her determination. She took a deep breath and continued her speech.

"I promised you Janie that I would always love you and that I would always do everything I could to make you happy. I meant that...I still mean that...it will always be true. I thought that I could do it all myself, that I had everything you need, that I was enough for you." Maura closed her eyes and shook her head. I saw her lips quiver and a tear rolled down her cheek. When she finally opened her eyes to look at me again I'd never seen her look more sincere or more open.

"I was wrong princess. I'm not enough. I was proud before, and I was foolish and I was selfish. But I can see clearly now. My love for you is not about me, it's about our entire family...I need help in helping you. I can't do it by myself. I need help in helping myself so I can be better for you. I made so many mistakes with you sweet heart and...I'm going to do better by you now. I _want_ to be better for you! Will you do this with me, Jane?" Maura pleaded with me.

Her eyes were earnest and sincere. I knew that Maura was not perfect, but she was perfect to me. In my eyes, she was everything. She never left me; she never looked at me like I was disgusting or worthless even after that man had... She was never impatient in my darkest hour, she never hurt me, and she never looked at me as anything but beautiful. She loved me even when I did not love myself...even now, I could not stand the site of myself in a mirror. But as I gazed in Maura's eyes, I wished I could see myself the way she saw me. I didn't speak for a long while. Maura fidgeted nervously next to me until I leaned over and kissed her softly on her lips. I felt her tense in shock before she sighed and opened her mouth for me. I tasted the salt of her tears that streamed from her eyes as I kissed her. Our kiss was sloppy and awkward because my tongue hurt so badly but Maura was careful and she did not push. Maura touched her lips when I pulled away from the kiss. Her eyes were closed and she was breathing heavily. She looked unsteady like she would fall if she were not already sitting. I tried to lean in and kiss her cheek but my ribs screamed in pain and I bit my lip against the cry that escaped my mouth. Maura's eyes were open in an instant when she heard my whimper and sixty seconds later I had an ice pack wrapped around my ribs with an ace bandage and a Dilauded pain pill in my stomach. Maura sat next to me again with wide worried eyes, but I stilled her with a smile.

"I don't blame you for what happened to me," I said softly. "It was entirely my fault..." I started but I felt Maura's finger on my lips halting my speech.

"It was NOT your fault." She said, her eyes were on fire. "The man that...he will be punished Jane. I _swear_ that to you...I swear it on the power of my name, I _swear_ it on my love for you, I _swear_ it on my life...he _will_ be **punished**!" Maura's face was stone and ice.

She was giving off such an air of fury I was momentarily uncomfortable in her presence. I became extremely nervous and shied away from her. It wasn't that I didn't want that fuckwad to suffer it was just Maura's fury... her aggression always terrified me beyond reason. I turned my head from her and shivered considerably but I felt her hand on chin. She turned me to look at her again and all her anger was gone. She actually looked extremely ashamed.

"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable sweetheart. My anger sometimes it just..." Maura hung her head. She looked so sad.

"I really need this therapy Jane will you please do this with me?" She asked me again, begged me actually.

I sighed. I could deny her nothing. I nodded my head slightly. Maura's face was beaming.

Maura talked of many things as we ate our ice cream. I talked very little. I preferred the sound of her voice over my own. Maura chatted away incessantly filling the silence of the apartment with excitement and love again. She leaned in and kissed me many times in between bites of ice cream. It was almost as if she couldn't control the action, like her lips were drawn to my face or my neck or my ear or my lips. I did not stop her. The smile she gave me each time her lips touched mine made the pain lessen just a little bit more. Maura asked after my comfort constantly. I would assure her I was not in pain; even though I was a little bit, but the drugs were swift and the ice against my ribs was soothing and her kisses...they were everything. Even so Maura's eyes were never far from my face watching closely for any signs that I needed something. When my tongue hurt suddenly her fingers were at my mouth with an ice cube. If my back ached her hands were on me smoothing out the knots. If my broken arm hurt she was adjusting my sling and massaging the muscles in my hand and somehow it always felt better. Her eyes could not have been more loving as she catered to me. Her smile could not have been more bright. Her words could not have been more tender. And when I smiled back at her...tears rolled from her eyes.

When we were finished eating we sat on the couch. Maura sat behind me and I lay against her wrapped in her arms. A movie was playing on the TV but neither of us were watching. It was a silly comedy Maura hated, but for some reason she seemed averse to watching the news like she usually did. I didn't argue or care. I was absorbing Maura's kisses on my cheeks and the warmth of her body against mine.

"I spoke to James yesterday sweetheart," Maura whispered in my ear.

"Yeah...about what?" I asked.

"He's staying at our home in Boston while he works on getting custody of Tommy. He says we could have him in a matter of weeks. The courts are pushing the case through quickly and as soon as the paper work is all sorted out we can pick him up," Maura said excitedly.

I smiled.

"Really?" I asked, only half believing it could be true.

"Yes ma'am,"

"But I thought James said it would take months and we'd have to go to court and do home inspections and stuff?"

"Well, all those particulars have been dropped in this case. James and my mother are working hard for you sweetheart...for us and our family."

"So he's coming to live here?"

"Actually, I was thinking this place is a little small for all of us and Consuela. I was thinking we'd all be more comfortable in a house."

"A house?" I asked curiously.

"Yes baby. Tommy is a growing boy. He needs a yard and space to play and so does Angela and the dog for that matter." Maura said kissing my cheek again.

"Maura I can't afford a..."

"...When you're better we will look for one. Anyone you want, it's yours." Maura cut me off.

"Maura..." I started to protest but Maura cut me off again.

She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into her. I felt her lips at my ear and a shiver went down my spine.

"Janie, what I have is yours and vice versa. Money is not to be discussed anymore. Your name will be on whatever I have at some point. I don't keep score Jane. But please know that you've given me two children and more love than I ever dreamed of having in my life. I'm going to give you a house that we will make into a home together but I want something in return," She whispered in my ear.

"What's that?" I asked timidly.

"I want to adopt Angela and Tommy legally. I want to protect my children and make sure they have the best of everything, are the heirs of my family's trusts', and have all the opportunities that my name will give them. And I want that for you too sweetheart."

"Maura, Tommy and Angela are as much yours as mine now. Besides, you have to marry me to adopt them legally," I said offhandedly.

Maura was quiet for a few moments. Then she turned my head so I was looking into her eyes. There was something burning there in her eyes, some spark I'd never seen before. She cradled my face in her hands, she was just about to speak when the elevator door dinged and the sound of barking, Angela squealing, and angry voices exploded into the house.


	31. I'm Gonna Make this Place your Home

**A/N: I'd like to thank my beta MJ726. Like always you are amazing and the only reason I'm still writing this story. I'd like to thank the lovely people still reading this story, I appreciate all your support and reviews. We haven't got much more to go but as I said last chapter the heavy darkness is behind us. I hope you enjoy the chapter and please review. With all that being said...here we go. **

Maura

Jane was fumbling with the locket around her neck that my mother gave her of our family's crest. Her fingers were still clumsy and awkward from her ordeal and she kept her hands covered in thick leather gloves. I sat next to her as close as I could without bumping her arm in the cast. Jane was healing nicely; at least her physical wounds were healing. Jane's internal wounds were a different thing entirely. I rubbed my hand over her back and smiled at her. She was beautiful today, she was beautiful every day. She was covered up in a long sleeve shirt and a hoodie and her gloves, but she was still beautiful to me. Her face's bruises were nearly gone, her stitches long removed, her ribs and arm no longer caused her so much pain and her smiles came easier if still not a bit strained at times. Jane's eyes were not so hollow and there was more color in her cheeks every day. She did not speak as much as she used too and usually only spoke if spoken to first. But she did not hide as much, or sleep the day away, and she jumped less often when something startled her. I was proud of Jane for every step she took in healing, however slow those steps came. I did not begrudge her the thick heavy clothing, I did not resent her only touching me with gloved hands, and I did not become angry when Jane slept in jeans and a long sleeve shirt. It hurt me to see her wrapped up as she was. It hurt that she didn't trust me, that my touch scared her sometimes, that when I said I love you she would often look sad. But as much as it hurt me inside I would never stop saying it, and I would never stop believe it. I considered each moment with Jane precious, and each smile on her face was beautiful, and she above all others was precious to me. When she wrapped herself in my arms in our bed at night and fell asleep in my embrace, my tears would dot my pillow. But they were not tears of sadness, they were not tears of pain, they were not tears of despair or longing, they were tears of joy and the deepest love I'd ever felt.

Jane's progress was slow but steady. It had been two long weeks since she returned to the world from her catatonic state and each day with her was brighter than the last. I spent very little time away from her and only left the apartment when absolutely necessary. Each moment away from her was similar to breathing underwater, impossible and terrifying. I worried for her constantly. I protected her from everything, the media, the outside world, and even herself. I wrapped her and myself in the insulation of my power and will to keep her safe. Not even a fly could penetrate the walls I built around her and my family. I dared anyone to stand against me, and God forbid, I dared anyone to touch Jane again even in their dreams. Every time I looked at her it was with an eye of caution, of observation, of intolerance of all evil that might rise against her. I allowed -only women to enter the apartment at any given time and if I was forced to be away from Jane I thought only of her smile and I would always return with her favorite ice cream or a cheeseburger or her favorite candy and Jane would run to me smiling and I would wrap her in my arms. That was my job now, to see her smiling, and it was the most important task I'd ever undertaken. Jane ate little, but she'd always try and eat what I brought back for her and giggled between every bite. I would watch her eat at her place at our table; my eyes would feel heavy, distant and misty with tears. I loved seeing her in her place by my side. I'd missed her there so much. I would pick at my food and watch Jane play with Angela in her high chair, smile at the messes they made and the giggles and sparkles in Angela's eyes. My daughter had been so much happier since Jane came back to us from her dreams. Angela smiled now all the time and hated being away from her mother. Franklin Thomas seemed invigorated by Jane's recovery and returned to his old habits of causing chaos, much to Consuela's dismay. Between Angela and the puppy there wasn't much in the apartment that hadn't been christened by their havoc but I enjoyed the return to normalcy, even as hectic and chaotic the house was at times.

I pulled Jane into my body and kissed the top of her head. She smiled at me when I released her. It was actually a sheepish grin, her cheeks flushed and she clutched the locket around her neck tightly with her gloved hand. I pretended not to notice the gloves again. All that mattered was the bursting love in my heart and the beautiful smile on Jane's face. What mattered most was the step Jane agreed to take today and the pride I felt in my soul for her bravery. I'd worked tirelessly to help Jane get to this place. I'd worked as hard as I could; I did everything the therapist told me to do, even though that woman infuriated me beyond reason sometimes. I was patient and loving and understanding and kind. I was everything love was supposed to be and even though my every second was spent in service of Jane, even though my every breath was not absent the thought of her, I did not feel tired or bored or spiteful. I felt light and happy, needed and wanted and most of all...I felt loved too. Every day I saw Jane's eyes open wider and the recognition of how much she loved me and I loved her, was more and more evident in the gazes she gave me. They were not lustful looks; they were not dirty or clouded with some untold longing. Her eyes had never looked so innocent or so sweet and when she looked at me that way my heart would soar and race and I would kiss her and she would kiss me and it was heavenly.

"Jane this was a wonderful session today. You're doing remarkably well. I'll see you for our session Saturday at the bed and breakfast but do you mind if I speak to Maura alone for a little while before you guys leave?" Violet asked Jane softly.

Jane still didn't like loud noises, and soft words reached her easier than raised voices or quick commands. Violet was always professional in this regard and Jane responded to her easily. I was thankful for that, because where I fell short with Jane, Violet was always there. I could not have been happier for the support, even if Violet was far less placid with me than she was with Jane.

Jane looked at me curiously before she answered. I gave her an easy smile and a kiss on her forehead to calm her. Jane lowered her eyes and blushed again. She pecked me on the cheek and scampered from the room with Franklin Thomas, her ever faithful companion, on her heels. I watched her go and sighed when she disappeared into the bedroom. Violet and I didn't speak for a few moments. My mind was on thoughts of Jane, the ring in my safe, all the plans I had for the long weekend and the life I wanted with the woman I loved more than I had ever loved anyone in my entire life. Finally Violet broke my reverie.

"Jane has come a long way since I first met with her two weeks ago," Violet said pointedly.

I nodded my head in response. Violet was a small slight woman with a tangle of dark curls on her head and bright dark eyes. She was Addison's longtime friend and partner. I respected the woman for what she was and what she'd accomplished with Jane. Still, sometimes the conversations between us were less than pleasant and I was in no mood to be pushed or frustrated on a day like today. I let my eyes wander to the sunshine outside the windows and smiled. I couldn't wait to finally get Jane out of the apartment and back out into the sunshine that made her eyes sparkle and her skin glow. I couldn't wait to see her smile in the beauty of the outside world and prayed with all that was in me that this trip would be everything I hope, planned and dreamed. I understood that I failed Jane in some things before, but the only desire in my heart on any given day since Jane's...incident...was her happiness and the expression of my love for her.

"Jane has given me authorization to discuss our private sessions with you. That's rare for a person who's been raped to show that level of trust with her therapist and her lover," Violet said.

I flinched when Violet said the word raped. I didn't like that word. I didn't care to hear it and I certainly didn't want to hear it in reference to Jane. I didn't want to think about what happened to her, it made me sick and livid. I don't think I'll ever get over the feeling of loathsome rage in my heart for the man that had hurt her. Every day I tried my hardest to erase the memory from Jane's mind, but in the darkness of night when Jane was sleeping soundly in my arms, my mind always wandered to that man. His face was emblazoned in my mind and every time I thought of him I would shake with wrath and fury. I would look at Jane's face and my heart would nearly stop in my chest. I would see his face over hers, I would see his stain on her skin, I would smell him somehow and I would hate him more and more, second by second, minute by minute. I could see as clear as day the way she fought for her life, for her sanctity, for her womanhood, for everything. I would study her scars and wounds. I knew how much he had hurt her, how scared she must have been, how much she must have cried and I would die inside. But her face was so beautiful as she slept, her hair smelled of heaven and dreams, her eye lids would flutter and I knew she was dreaming good dreams. I would touch her then, I would run my fingers lightly along her jaw and kiss her with quivering lips and curse myself for thinking of him when I was truly so happy with her. I would always be happy with her. I loved her most while she slept. That was when I was free to dream and look at her with all the love I felt for her and not be afraid of seeing the pain in her eyes or the hesitation in her movements or the doubt in her expression. While she slept, I was free to imagine her in white, as my bride, with a flower in her hair, a glimmer in her eyes and a ring on her finger. I would see to it that she understood that I loved her eternally, until the last light flickered from the sun, until the last flower faded from the earth, until the last 'I love you' was ever given breath, I would love her until then...and on...and on...forever...I would love her. I'd given all my love to Jane, but all my hate and all my anger was for that one man and I could not escape the shadow of my fury. The very thought of him repulsed me, his face in my mind an ever present reminder of my need for fortitude and strength. I was never absent the thought of my promises to him and the suffering I would insure that he faced for the rest of his life. The thought of his tears brought me even more peace than Jane's smile. Vengeance drove me as much as love. The heat of my desire for Jane tempered with my towering ire for that man and I knew my mind would never know peace except in her arms. I reached for Angela's stuffed animal on the coffee table and started trying to sew its ear back on again. I did not like to look anyone in the eye when my fury was on me. Not Violet and especially not Jane. I gritted my teeth and focused on my work and tried desperately to clear my mind of the hatred.

"Does it make you angry when I speak of Jane's rape?" Violet asked.

I sighed and kept my eyes on the elephant.

"Violet, today is a wonderful day. Jane's going outside for the first time since...her ordeal. She's happier, she smiles, and even my mother is in love with her. I think that woman loves Jane and Angela more than she loves me," I chuckled to myself.

I smiled when I thought of my mother. The woman came over every day to spend time with Jane and Angela. In Constance's eyes Jane could do no wrong and my messy daughter was an angel. I, however, still fell short of perfect but at least her tone no longer cut me and her words were not harsh anymore. Sometimes, she even reserved a smile for me when she watched me hold my daughter, if I managed to pry Angela from her arms when she came to visit.

"You have not answered my question," Violet said.

I rolled my eyes but kept on trying to sew the ear. I was a wonderful seamstress but every time I sewed the ear back on the elephant my rambunctious child and my villainous puppy would always find a way to tear it off again. I think it had become something of a game to them. I looked at Violet over the rim of my glasses. I knew my eyes were not kind and my lips were pursed in disapproval and frustration. I did not speak immediately. I did not want to lash out again. Every time Violet tried to push me to speak of the rape I eventually lashed out, but I was determined to make this time different. I would not let my beautiful day be ruined with thoughts of that awful man or let Violet infuriate me again. As I thought those things, I poked myself with the sewing needle and cursed angrily under my breath.

"Not today Violet," I said with forced calm.

"What do you mean, 'not today'?" Violet asked.

"I don't want to talk about what happened to Jane today, ok?" I said to Violet in a sharp tone of voice.

"It's hard for you to say the word isn't it?"

Violet cocked her head as she studied me. Her expression was void of any emotion, but her words felt like they were prodding at my nerves. I took several deep breaths.

"Jane is doing well. She's smiling and she laughs sometimes and she plays with Angela..."

"...Why do you think she wears the gloves and the long sleeve shirts?" Violet interrupted.

I grit my teeth.

"Aren't you supposed to listen to me talk and not interrupt me?" I spat.

"I know the progress Jane has made. I also know that you avoid talking about the things that upset and bother you. Why is that Maura?"

"I'm not upset or bothered. I love Jane."

"I'm aware that you love her, it's evident in everything that you do. I'm concerned however that you may be so engrossed in caring for Jane and your family that you are neglecting your own feelings and refusing to deal with them," Violet said.

I rolled my eyes again.

"Violet," I said with forced patience. "Jane is my only concern, my only priority. My only desire is to make her happy and see her through this..."

"...What is 'this'?" Violet interrupted me again.

"Violet you know what 'this' is!" I snapped furiously at her.

I was very quickly getting angry and I hated it. I hated that this woman could so easily get under my skin. I hated that I had to spend time talking about things I had no desire to even think about, let alone speak. I hated that Violet always pushed me to talk about all the stuff that made me angry. Why was the woman always so insolent with me? She was never that way with Jane.

"I want to hear you say it. In all the times we've spoken over the last three weeks, even while Jane was catatonic you've never said the word. Tell me what 'this' is. Put a name on 'it'" Violet pushed me again.

"Violet stop, please."

"...Say it Maura. At some point give her the dignity of saying what was done to her so she knows you are in this with her and not just denying what happened."

"...VIOLET stop!"

"...Admitting what happened is _accepting_ what happened and you haven't done that yet..."

"...I will not EVER accept what happened to Jane...NEVER! It is _not_ acceptable to me and I'll not speak of it in my house or ever. I'm going to make this go away and I'm going to make Jane happy again. Jane is mine, I love her and I will see her through this. I'll be everything she needs. I'll never let her down again...I'll never let her hurt again...I'll never give her a reason to doubt me or my love for her. I won't rest until she forgets this ever happened and all she needs and sees is me and our babies. I'm going to make this go away." My words started out heated and angry but by the end I could barely speak above a whisper.

I felt tears burning my eyes but I blinked them away furiously. I did not want to cry. I was happy today, Jane was happy today. She kissed me this morning and smiled at me and played with our daughter and woke up in my arms and it was bliss. I loved her. She made me feel everything I never knew existed. I didn't want that to go away. I wanted to think of Jane's smile and sunshine, not the darkness or the pain. I wanted to win this war, I _would_ win, and Jane was mine. Violet watched me as I picked at the stitches on the elephant's ear. My jaw was closed tightly and my face was flushed with anger, but I would not give Violet the satisfaction of breaking down. I would be strong for Jane. I could be everything for Jane. I'd found a strength in me I didn't know existed and I channeled it all in service of Jane. I clutched the elephant to my chest and sighed heavily.

"Jane was raped, Maura. She was raped and brutalized and beaten." Violet said.

I hung my head. I buried my face in the stuffed animal. I let my tears fall in the elephant so Violet could not see me. I kept my cries soft. I did not want Jane to hear me or see my tears. I didn't want to see the pain in her eyes. I loved her, God I loved her so much. Thinking of what happened to her...

I wiped my tears quickly. I took deep breaths and eyed Violet levelly.

"Please Violet, not today." I said softly. "Just not today."

I knew my eyes conveyed all the sincerity in my heart. I just could not do this today. Violet sighed but slowly nodded her head.

"Let's talk of something else shall we?" Violet asked lightly.

I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Yes," I said.

"Jane said you were going to ask her something the day she first woke up. What were you going to ask her?"

I perked up immediately. Jane and I hadn't discussed my near proposal since it was so unceremoniously interrupted by the family returning home. Both Consuela and my mother attacked Jane with hugs and kisses and endless attention when they first saw Jane out of bed. I hadn't been able to get Jane alone the rest of the day. Since then, it seemed alone time with Jane was hard to come by between Consuela and my mother's constant doting on her and for some reason I got the impression Jane was avoiding the subject all together. I didn't push. I never pushed with Jane. But I'd been far from silent on the subject in my actions. When I told my mother my intentions to make Jane my wife I was practically hustled from the apartment to the jeweler and a quarter of a million dollars later all I thought about was how to ask Jane to be my lawfully wedded. But I was nervous, I'd never been so nervous about anything in my life and it was very nearly driving me insane. But to hear that Jane had opened up to Violet instead of me hurt me a little.

"What did Jane say?" I asked.

I lowered my eyes and started fumbling with the stuffed elephant again.

"She thinks you want to marry her," Violet said bluntly.

I accidentally poked myself with the needle again and swore angrily as I sucked my thumb.

"She _said_ that?" I asked incredulously.

"Is that true?" Violet asked simply.

It was a while before I spoke. It dawned on me that Jane knew exactly what I was going to ask her before we were interrupted, but it didn't make me feel any better. Why then had she not spoken to me of it again? Did she not want to be my wife? Did she not trust me? Was I not good enough for her? I rubbed my forehead with an unsteady hand.

"Yes," I sighed. "I want to make her my wife and I want to be hers, but she's avoiding the subject. Why won't she talk to _me_ about it instead of you?"

"Actually I got the impression from Jane that you've been avoiding the subject with _her_ since you first brought it up,"

"_She's_ the one that's been avoiding it, and everything else important for that matter." I spat at Violet rather rudely.

I had to grip the stuffed elephant rather tightly to calm myself again. My nerves were frazzled from stress and Violet's conversation was growing increasingly more irritating.

"Does that frustrate you, that Jane avoids things?"

I rolled my eyes.

"I love Jane..."

"...You've said as much already. I'm asking if it frustrates you that Jane is avoiding things." Violet interrupted.

I sat back in my chair and rubbed my forehead wearily.

"No...Maybe...yes..." I sighed.

Violet only nodded her head.

"Do you feel that you are also avoiding some things?"

"I'm dealing with _everything_ right now. Jane...well you've seen her with the long sleeves and gloves and long pants all the time...even in _bed_. She barely holds Angela and when she does it's only for a few minutes at a time and then she immediately gives her a bath and then she takes a shower again. She hides in the bedroom whenever the elevator door opens, and she won't go outside. She hardly eats, she doesn't talk much and when she does it's always about inconsequential matters. She's scared of her own shadow half the time. I am not _avoiding_ anything. Everything falls on me right now while Jane runs around like a mummy!" I blurted out.

Then I lowered my head shamefully. I couldn't believe I just said that. I couldn't believe such horrible things could come out of my mouth about the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I despised myself for saying such things of her. I wasn't angry with Jane and I understood that she was hurting and doing her best to deal with everything that happened to her. But my frustrations were boiling over and my hurt that Jane wouldn't open up to me the way I wanted her to made me incredibly sad.

"It's good to hear you voice your frustrations for once. It doesn't do you or Jane any good to keep them bottled inside. Doing that only makes the frustration build and increases the likelihood of lashing out angrily and that could be devastating to her,"

"I'd never lash out at Jane..._ever_." I said my voice cold with contempt.

Violet nodded her head at me and we didn't speak for a while.

"Your frustrations at Jane's loss of identity and sexuality are very understandable. It's often difficult for the loved ones of victims of sexual assault to quell their own sexual desires in lieu of what happened to..."

"...I've no interest in _sleeping_ with her right now. I'm not a sex- crazed maniac. I'd never take what Jane didn't give me willingly." I glared at Violet. "But what's with the gloves and the showering and the long sleeves all the time?" I sighed.

"Jane might feel dirty. She might feel that covering up is the only way to make herself less sexually appealing and in a sense protects her and those around her from the filth she feels inside..."

"...Jane is _beautiful_ to me Violet...she's always been beautiful to me. Every time I look at her she takes my breath away." I said desperately.

Violet cocked her head and gave me a rare smile.

"I believe that you love her unconditionally. I think Jane is starting to realize that now too, but it's difficult for someone who's been raped to grasp unconditional love. Despite your qualms about Jane's attire, the showering, no matter how frustrated you might be, you can take comfort in the fact that you are the only person Jane lets truly touch her without flinching or looking uncomfortable. She smiles at you every time you walk into a room, and she even kisses you. That's remarkable for someone who is a very recent rape survivor. I know the long sleeves, the gloves and the obsessive showering are difficult responses to see her go through, but it's common with rape victims. Jane is struggling with issues of self-worth, feelings of dirtiness and disgust with herself. Her slight conversation might seem offhand and mindless at times, but the fact that she communicates with you at all is truly amazing. I will say though Maura, it's up to you to find the right time to bring up marriage with her again. She's not going to do that herself, as I said before she's still dealing with issues of self- worth and sometimes it might be hard for her to believe someone truly loves her as much as you do. This is especially hard for her now that she's been raped. I suggest you continue to re-establish and further a reciprocating trust and a loving bond between you and Jane, prior to initiating the talk of marriage. Open up to her. Tell her the things that make you afraid. Tell her things that upset or hurt you. Remind Jane that you are only human. Since she woke up Maura you've been like a robot keeping everything together for everyone. Let Jane see you as normal, vulnerable, imperfect and it will be easier for her to relate to you again. Most importantly though, don't rush anything. Remember Maura, you two have plenty of time and are very committed to one another. You are very devoted to Jane's recovery. This weekend getaway at the bed and breakfast is a great way to pull Jane from her shell, and a great way for you to loosen up and not feel you have to be perfect for a change. I commend you for thinking of that..."

"...I bought the house." I cut in.

Violet was silent for a few moments like she didn't understand what I just said.

"I'm sorry you..."

"...I bought the house for Jane and our family. It used to be a bed and breakfast but it won't book anymore guests since I bought it."

Violet was stunned. I could tell by the look on her face.

"Does Jane know that?"

"No. I told her it was a bed and breakfast which wasn't a lie. I will tell her in due time. Jane told me she used to love going out in the country on family vacations and playing outside and fishing. That's why I thought this place would be perfect for her. It's a small farm, eleven acres about an hour outside the city. James tells me my son Tommy loves horses and the farm is perfect for riding. I want Jane to be happy and I think she could be happy there, outside the city without the noise and the lights. She seems to love quiet things these days and...I'll give her everything I can." I said honestly.

"That's incredibly sweet of you Maura." Violet smiled.

I looked up at her hopefully.

"Do you think this is a good idea?" I asked earnestly." Do you think I'm overstepping my boundaries?"

I don't know why I was suddenly so desperate for validation, but I just needed to hear that I was doing the right thing. I needed to believe that this was something that would make Jane happy and I was on the right path. Violet's smile widened.

"I believe you and Jane have experienced more in your relationship than many people who've been married half of their lives. I believe you know what makes Jane happy and you've sacrificed and given everything in care of her. What would a man or woman not do for the one they love most in the world? Don't second guess yourself. You need to be confident because Jane will be able to pick up on your hesitation and she could take that as you being hesitant about her. On your trip, consider not telling her about buying the house until you get a feel for her mental state. Focus this time on you two opening up to each other. Maura have lots of conversations, push her to talk about things she's been avoiding, you do the same and afterwards make your intentions known. Pay attention if she panics or seems hesitant. Always be patient and remember she loves you." Violet said.

I closed my eyes and shook my head.

"I hope you're right. She's just so... It's hard to read her." I admitted.

"Try not to overthink it too much. I know you're under a lot of pressure to hold your family together, run your businesses, protect Jane from everything going on back in Boston, figuring out what you want to do with your ME position in Boston, gaining custody of Tommy, but try really hard to let go sometimes and have fun with Jane. You need to find a positive outlet for your frustrations and responsibilities; this trip is a perfect opportunity for you two to grow together. You need Jane as much as she needs you. Do you realize you only smile when she's around or you're thinking of her?"

I smiled then. "I'm always thinking of her,"

Violet studied me with understanding showing in her eyes.

"I'm rooting for you two," Violet said.

I felt tears wanting to form behind my eyes. I wiped them quickly and picked up the elephant to distract myself.

"You've...you've been wonderful with Jane. I can't thank you enough. I'm looking forward to our session at the bed and breakfast Saturday evening and I'm sure Jane is too. I think she actually likes talking to you." I said softly.

"I'll only be a phone call away if you need me before Saturday." Violet said.

I nodded my head but didn't answer. I was back to fidgeting with the needle and thread and the elephant again.

I was feeling nervous again. There hadn't been a single day in the two weeks since Jane returned to the world of the living that I hadn't had Violet close by and the thought of being so far away from her was nerve-wracking. I wouldn't admit out loud how much I'd come to rely on her help, but the pressure of being alone with Jane and Angela for five days was making my stomach turn, and yet still I was excited. I was careful to not be overly excited though, I couldn't stand another disappointment or heartbreak, and some of my well-laid plans with Jane had proven futile and devastating. But when I thought of the ring in my safe, I felt myself smiling despite my nervousness. Maybe just maybe, this would be the weekend of my dreams. I started to speak to Violet again when Jane walked into the living room. Both Violet and I stood immediately.

"Hi sweetheart. Are you ready to go?" I asked.

Jane was covered up in jeans and a long sleeved shirt and a hoodie and she was even wearing a hat. She had Angela in her arms, but I wanted to cry when I saw Angela was covered up in long sleeves and long pants even though it was ninety degrees outside. I started to protest but Violet gave me a quick glance and I choked down my words. I smiled at Jane instead. She returned my smile and kissed my lips and I forgot all about the long sleeves and the gloves in that moment. I pulled her into me and kissed her sweetly and Jane let me have my moment and even sighed softly against my lips. I felt myself falling into her...I always did. I pecked Jane's lips several times as Angela pulled the elephant from my hand and immediately started chewing on the stitches in the ear. I sighed and messed her hair. Angela giggled at me excitedly with the elephant hanging from her mouth by its ear.

"I packed my bag," Jane whispered to me. "I'm ready to go."

I smiled and ran my fingers through her hair.

"I'm going to show you the world this weekend princess," I said softly.

I planted more kisses on Jane's blushing face and smiled when she opened her mouth for me and let me kiss her deeply. I even felt her body shudder slightly before she abruptly pulled out of the kiss, her face red and flushed.

"You _are_ my world," she said barely above a whisper.

I felt a tear run from my eye. I wrapped her in my arms and whispered sweet things in her ear before Violet politely interrupted us. I saw Violet out and the woman winked at me before the elevator doors closed and she was gone. I felt my nerves return full force. This was it. It was happening. Jane was actually going to go outside and see the house I bought for her, that she hopefully would love as much as I prayed she would. I was terrified and eager. I ran to my office and opened the safe. I grabbed the ring and opened the box. My heart fluttered in my chest as I gazed at the glittering five-carat diamond.

"Here we go," I whispered to the ring and kissed it before I put it in my jacket pocket and protectively zipped the pocket closed.

I found Jane and Consuela waiting for me in the living room. Consuela was wearing the most hideous looking Hawaiian shirt I'd ever seen and a bright yellow straw hat. Jane was laughing at her mercilessly.

"I look _fine_," Consuela protested with her hands on her hips. "You look like mummy!"

"At least I don't look like the vacation from hell threw up on my shirt," Jane cracked.

Consuela growled and started beating Jane with her hat. Jane kept teasing Consuela until Franklin Thomas jumped up and snatched the hat from Consuela's hand and tore it into shreds.

"EL _DIABLO_!" Consuela cursed.

"Relax he did you a favor you old bat." Jane teased.

I sighed and rolled my eyes but I couldn't help smiling. I missed this. As annoying as Jane and Consuela could be...I had truly missed this.

"Let's go you guys," I said leading a very grumpy Consuela toward the elevator.

"Evil devil dog eat my hat!" Consuela huffed.

"I'll get you another one," I sighed.

Jane and Consuela argued all the way to the car. I just smiled.

...

"Are you excited honey?" I asked Jane.

Jane smiled at me in the rear view mirror from the back seat. She was holding Franklin Thomas against her chest and Angela was kicking and giggling in her car seat next to Jane. Jane didn't speak but she nodded her head and continued on petting FT with her gloved hands. I sighed softly to myself. I hated how covered up she was, but I smiled back at her anyway. I loved her so much. I loved her so much it made me ache inside just to hear her name spoken in random conversation. I loved her so much, just the slightest whiff of her scent made my heart race and my eyes always widened in hope that they might find her face smiling. I loved her so much that I barely even noticed the gloves, the long sleeves, the jeans and the hoodie. I knew somewhere inside me this choice of clothing would not be forever. Jane would get better. All I saw was her face, her smile and the way her eyes sparkled when they met mine. Her smile brought me so much joy it nearly reduced me to tears every time she graced me with one. I could forgive Jane so many things, all her strange new quirks, all her strange new habits, I'd forgive her a mountain and a desert of faults if I knew at the end of the day I'd find her eyes shining and grinning at me the way they were right now. All Jane's new 'habits' were in response to the pain that man caused her and whatever my anger, it was always directed at him and would remain that way. When I looked in Jane's eyes the world faded away and all I saw was the light in her soft brown eyes, the heat of her body and her lips...they were mine and only mine to kiss.

The last two weeks had not been easy. But each day Jane slowly made a little progress. Every day she seemed a little less afraid and I fell more and more in love with her. Last night she crawled into bed with me and pulled me into a kiss so soft and sweet I was left speechless. Every time I kissed Jane in the last two weeks, gosh it was...it was more and more beautiful every time. It was the sweetest of success, the greatest of love, and the most passionate of desire. Last night she kissed me all on her own and I thought my heart would burst. I ached for Jane, _especially_ now, more now than I ever had if that was even possible. The feeling of her in my arms and the sound of her steady breathing when she fell asleep curled against me made me feel like...it made me feel everything. When I looked into her eyes I no longer saw only pain, all I saw was hope and that's all I felt when I watched her from the corner of my eye. I hoped every moment of every day and I continued to pray constantly. I prayed that I was good enough, that I could prove myself worthy of Jane in all that I did. Every breath she took was a testament to her strength despite some of her coping methods since she was...

It took a lot of convincing, persuading and gentle insistence to get Jane to agree to come on this little trip. Jane hadn't been outside since I brought her back to New York in a catatonic state and this step was huge for both of us. With Violet's help and constant encouragement and patience on my part, Jane had reluctantly agreed to come. I'd been so sick with apprehension the past several days trying to get everything in order; I'd almost had a panic attack last night. I wanted this to be perfect for Jane and me. I was risking so much buying this house and hoping Jane would love it. But every time I looked at the pictures of the farm in my email, my thoughts would wander to Jane on a horse or swimming in the lake, laughing and playing. My heart ached with the hope I carried that all my dreams and Jane's dreams could come true. I went to bed last night crazy with worry that something would go wrong or some tragedy would befall us and Jane would hate the farm and just want to go home. I would go wherever Jane went, because wherever _she_ was, it _was_ home for me. But I wanted to start over, I wanted something new, I wanted to give Jane and our children everything. It was my responsibility and I welcomed it. I felt so happy thinking of it. When I crawled into bed last night, concerns filling my head, that's when Jane kissed me. That's when she just took my breath away. That's when the darkness lifted, the clouds parted and that's when I knew Jane was mine again. Wherever I was in the world, whatever we faced, whatever came against us, Jane was mine. I looked back at her in the rear view mirror again and grinned when I saw her eyes twinkling at the sunshine, watching the flowers and trees we passed. She seemed not afraid in that moment, she was happy, and I was flying.

"Where we going?" Consuela huffed from the passenger's seat.

"Consuela we're going to a nice little bed and breakfast outside the city a little way." I told Consuela for like the tenth time since we left the house an hour ago.

"But we have bed and breakfast at home, why we need drive far away for bed and breakfast? We need go to Jamaica. That be good vacation," Consuela continued on whining.

I gave Consuela my best _'You better not mess this up for me,_' look which thankfully silenced her. This weekend had to be perfect and full of great memories for Jane so she'd agree to move to the house without arguments. I felt the ring in my jacket pocket and smiled to myself. I looked back at Jane staring out the window in the back seat. She seemed lost in the sunshine outside and her face was calm and serene. She did not look afraid or uncertain and I breathed a sigh of relief. I _would_ make this woman, my Janie, my little princess, my wife.

_"Please God let this be wonderful for Jane,_" I whispered inside my head.

"It's just going to be the four of us baby, well not including the dog and the chef and the estate manager and housekeeper for five days. The help are all women so you don't have to worry about anything. We're gonna have so much fun princess." I said excitedly to Jane who grinned at me again.

Jane didn't speak much, but her smiles came easily and she did not flinch when I reached for her and sometimes...sometimes I even caught her staring at me while I undressed. I cannot tell you what that made me feel. Her eyes always turned away quickly, but I saw her stares and smiles, and I felt loved in the adoration I found in her eyes.

"Why you need housekeepa? **I** housekeepa." Consuela exclaimed.

I rolled my eyes.

"Consuela, this weekend you're the nanny. You're on vacation too."

"I just as well vacation at home since we not go to Jamaica, and no such thing as vacation with messy dog and messy baby and messy Miss Jane," Consuela pouted.

I was just about to scold Consuela for antagonizing Jane but Jane jumped in first.

"I'm not _messy_," Jane huffed from the back seat.

I looked back at her and was shocked to see that frowning little pout she used to always wear when someone irritated her, especially Consuela. I hadn't seen that pout on Jane's face in ages and this time it actually made me snicker instead of roll my eyes.

"You not messy now because you don't eat, or have fun, or play with puppy or baby or Doctor, but you be messy again one day soon I know it. AND you need eat more! Doctor why you no make Miss Jane eat more? You used to make Miss Jane eat, why not now?" Consuela asked fixing me with her most unhappy expression.

"I _eat_!" Jane spat at Consuela before I could form an answer.

"You eat like rabbit!" Consuela hissed. "I fatten you up myself. I make you cheeseburger when we get to bed with breakfast,"

I could tell Jane wanted to argue more but her face lit up when Consuela mentioned cheeseburgers.

"Yum," Jane gushed.

I did roll my eyes this time.

"Consuela you're not cooking on this trip we have a chef. And Jane if you really want a cheeseburger you have to walk with me outside for at least an hour." I firmly stated.

Jane narrowed her eyes at me in a way all too familiar to me.

"I'm _not_ a baby! And Consuela will make me cheeseburgers when you're not watching," Jane grinned wickedly.

I was shocked. Jane hadn't pushed against me in two weeks. I hadn't heard the bite of her sarcastic tone in what felt like forever and I hadn't realized how much I missed it. I loved sweet Jane, but sarcastic Jane was always a challenge that in the past drove me nuts. But for some reason the bite in her tone and the glimmer in her eyes moved something in me. It felt like familiarity, like normalcy, like a return to our old selves. Jane was pouting and challenging me like she always use to and for some reason...it made me smile. Coddling her I knew would not work for long, Jane was gearing up for a fight just for the hell of fighting. I almost chuckled. My old Janie was shining through and I knew I'd have to resort back to my old tricks of gentle manipulation in order to get my way. Consuela was right. I needed to get Jane to eat, especially in a healthier way.

"Baby just one hour," I pleaded with her. "There are horses on the farm honey and there's a forest with nature trails and a lake nearby. We can go fishing if you like. You like that don't you? Maybe you can teach me. I've never caught a fish in my life but you can bait my hooky for me." I giggled.

I heard Jane giggle behind me. My eyes flashed to the rear view mirror and I felt tears in my eyes when I noticed she was laughing lightly. Her face was almost as bright and cheery as it used to be when I said something that amused her. I felt my heart skip a beat in my chest.

"It's a hook, Maura. Not a hooky...hooky is what you play when you don't want to go to school or work." Jane laughed.

I laughed with her.

"You can teach me lots of things honey. And maybe we'll catch a fish and the chef will cook it for us."

"Maybe I'll catch a fish and cook it for you myself," Jane said softly.

I looked back at her through the rear view mirror again my heart bursting with love and pride for the woman that amazed me more and more each day.

"I'd really love that Jane," I whispered.

Jane's beaming smile brought a tear to my eyes.

"Ha. Miss Jane not know how to boil water. She not know how to cook fish." Consuela heckled. "She poison you Doctor."

"I will _not_ poison her old woman!" Jane grumbled.

Jane's face looked crest fallen and a little hurt. I looked at Consuela in such a way that the woman shut her mouth and stared out her window and didn't say anything else the entire rest of the ride.

"I'll eat anything you make me baby," I winked at Jane in the rear view mirror.

Jane blushed and buried her head in FT's fur.

I chatted away enthusiastically as I drove. Every few seconds my eyes would dart back to the rear view mirror and find Jane's reflection and my heart leapt every time..._every_ time. Sometimes she would be smiling back at me; sometimes she would be staring aimlessly out the window, sometimes she would even be playing with Angela, though she never touched our daughter without the gloves on. I turned off the old country road and onto the long drive way of the small farm with the bed and breakfast. The farm's property was bordered by a beautiful white picket fence and the driveway was lined on either side by towering trees. I heard Jane gasp behind me.

"WOW!" Jane said.

I looked back at her and her forehead was pressed against the window and her eyes were wide and wondering as she took in the landscape around us. The grounds were beautiful. Lush green freshly cut grass peppered with bold oaks and flower gardens surrounded either side of the driveway. Squirrels ran around the trees and birds chirped in the branches and the scents of flowers filled our noses. Franklin Thomas barked excitedly at the ducks swimming in the pond as we drove by. His tongue was hanging out of his mouth and he whined dolefully, his eyes desiring nothing more than to cause massive amounts of havoc. This I could tell already. In the distance, I could just make out the stables and the pastures. I smiled wider and wider every time I heard Jane happily sigh, gasp or look in the rearview mirror and see her excitedly point to something. When the house came into view Jane's jaw dropped and so did mine. I hadn't seen the house in person before, just a slideshow the realtor showed me and pictures did not do justice to this place. Before us was a towering three-story estate of all grey stone with wrap around porches and majestic stone columns. A grey stone walkway led up to the double doors of the home's entrance surrounded by lovely gardens on either side. As I pulled to a stop in front of the house all I could do was stare. I started to speak, but Jane was out of the car before I could even open my mouth.

"Aye Dios Mio," Consuela gasped. "El _Grande_! How I clean this place? It take me a week just to clean one floor of this place."

"Consuela, you're not cleaning anything in this place," I said studying the house through the car window.

I was shocked by the size of it, but it was breathtakingly gorgeous. I was immobilized just staring at it, but Jane's shouts from somewhere in the distance broke my reverie.

"Miss Jane getting in trouble already. So much places for her to make mess here." Consuela sighed.

I sighed right along with her. I quickly unbuckled my seat belt and hopped out of the car to grab Angela but she was already gone. I panicked. I ran down the stone path leading around the side of the house and caught up with Jane who had a bouncing Angela in her arm and Franklin Thomas could just be made out down the path head first in a bush and his tail wagging enthusiastically. I grabbed Angela from Jane's arm. I loved that Jane was holding her, but her arm was still in a cast and her ribs were still sore and bruised. I didn't want her to be in pain later from over-exertion. But Jane seemed to have forgotten all about her pain and injuries and took off down the path at full speed after I'd pulled Angela from her. Franklin Thomas was close on her heels his head covered in pollen and dirt. Angela squealed and wailed to follow her mother, but a very severe looking woman popped up next to me dressed in a prim and pressed black suit with a face that looked like it had seen very few smiles.

"You must be Doctor Isles," the woman said holding out her hand to me. "I'm Olivia Frank the estate manager. I'll be attending to you and your guests this weekend."

I shook the woman's hand as best I could in between wrestling with my daughter's writhing body.

"Olivia Frank of course, we spoke on the phone. This is my daughter Angela and our nanny Consuela, not guests." I said directly. I wanted to be sure she and the staff were clear on this from the very beginning.

"Absolutely and I will make sure all staff members are made aware. I made all the arrangements as requested and all the service people are women. Your bags are being carried inside as we speak. And where is the lovely Miss Jane?" Olivia asked looking around.

Somewhere off in the distance I could hear FT barking and Jane's whoops of exhilaration. I giggled somewhat nervously.

"She's familiarizing herself with the grounds," I smiled pleasantly.

Olivia returned my smile and I was surprised to see she appeared rather handsome with a smile on her face.

"While she's away would you like to place the ring in the house safe?" Olivia leaned in and asked me in a whisper.

"I would actually. It's just here in my jacket..." I started but at that moment Jane came bounding up to me along the path.

Jane was still wearing her leather gloves and long sleeved shirt, but she'd done away with her hoodie and she was covered in dirt for some reason. Franklin Thomas appeared around the corner dripping wet and covered in mud and feathers. The two of them together were quite a sight.

"Honey," I said nervously.

Angela squealed and tried to wiggle out of my arms again. Jane beamed at her and reached for Angela but I held her back. I was glad to see Jane smiling and excited but there was no reason for everyone to be filthy. Especially the baby who seemed to have developed an aversion to bathing worse even than Franklin Thomas, though this may have something to do with the extra baths she had been receiving as of late. I would have to address that with Jane sooner, rather than later, maybe with Violet's assistance. Angela was in her formative years and I did not want her to have unnecessary issues. Still Jane's wellbeing was also of my primary concern and I was not expert on dealing with sensitive issues such as this.

"Sweetheart, what has happened to you? We've been here ten minutes and you're covered in grime," I sighed.

"You love me when I'm dirty baby," Jane cooed at me.

She eyed me in that playful way that foretold her desire for some sort of mischief. I was more than a little surprised at what she said considering everything as of late, and I tried to get away down the path but she attacked me and wrapped me in her arm and landed dozens of kisses all over my face. I giggled as I struggled to get free but Jane, despite what happened to her, was not a weak woman, and Angela was wiggling and giggling so much it was hard not to drop her while fighting off Jane at the same time. Jane teased me and laughed at me as she covered my nice new blouse and skirt in whatever mess she had all over her.

"Jane...J-JANE!" I squealed.

Angela giggled and clapped her hands, Franklin Thomas enjoying the fun decided to share his filth with Olivia, jumping up and licking at her face. Olivia screamed and lost her balance and fell back into the flowers in a great heap with Franklin Thomas still trying to lick her face.

"El DIABLO!" Consuela screeched.

Consuela tried to pull Franklin Thomas off Olivia who was writhing and kicking in the mulch of the flower bed. Olivia was spitting out dirt and petals while trying to scream in between Franklin Thomas' tongue all over her face. But her struggles only encouraged the dog and he lay on top of her and covered her face with his dirty puppy tongue. Consuela cursed in spanish furiously and heaved at the dog collar but Franklin Thomas' collar broke and Consuela went flying backward tripping over her own feet and landing in a rose bush on the other side of the path. Consuela howled and cursed as the thorns from the rose bush attacked her. Jane was wide-eyed and looked between Olivia and Consuela like she couldn't figure out which one of them needed help the most. Jane decided on Consuela and pulled her out of the rose bush by the ankle with her good hand.

I just could not believe what was happening. Why could nothing ever go smoothly with my family? Every step forward I so carefully planned was always met by some humiliating disaster such as the one presently on display in front of me. I cursed angrily as Angela giggled in my arms and looked up at me with bright amused eyes. I wanted to die of embarrassment and choke the dog and strangle Jane for laughing like it was hysterical, but that was impossible with my baby in my arms and owning the only head on shoulders that wasn't screaming in fright or pain or laughing like a dope. I did the best I could to remedy the situation, but life and my family had minds of their own. Planning be damned and civility aside, Murphy's law seemed to be the theme of the day, much to my dismay.

"OH…oh my goodness!" I exclaimed.

I tried to help Olivia from the flower patch but Franklin Thomas was rolling all over her and barking excitedly. Jane was no help at all laughing the way she was and before it was all over I was on my back in the flower patch next to Olivia with Franklin Thomas' tongue on _my_ face and Angela rolling around in the dirt next to me. Angela had flowers tangled in her hair and FT had some black material from Olivia's suit dangling from his mouth. Jane went to grab the baby and I had to help a moaning Consuela and Olivia into the house which left me winded and wishing for home. So much for a good start. I just wanted to lie down and cry.

...

I could not have been more embarrassed by my family as I apologized for the hundredth time to Olivia two hours later when everyone was all cleaned up again. I pouted at Jane the entire time we showered and tried to shy away from her playful apologetic kisses. But it was hard to fight Jane off, and even harder to pretend I didn't love every one of her kisses, even though I was furious with her and embarrassed half to death. I'd already tried to give FT a bath in the tub but he'd escaped twice and filled every hallway in the house with soap suds and muddy paw prints. The housekeeper, a small slight blond woman didn't know what to make of us and the messes we made. She was still trying to clean up all the havoc we'd created in the few short hours since we'd arrived. Angela had managed to escape her playpen when we were chasing down the dog and after searching frantically for twenty minutes we followed a trail of M&M's and found Angela hiding under a coffee table covered in sticky chocolate. I almost cried the second time I gave Angela a bath and she cried the entire time. I nearly blew up as I bathed Angela when I heard a great crashing sound from somewhere in the house knowing FT had to be the cause. At one point I just left the dog and the baby in the bedroom with Jane, closing the door, so I could try and apologize to all the help and get the house back in order again before the baby and the dog destroyed everything again.

"I think perhaps you should consider baby proofing and restricting the dog's access to certain areas of the house Dr. Isles," Olivia said haughtily in the library when we had finally gotten things in order again.

I giggled nervously at Olivia's grim face. I was so angry with my family I couldn't even begrudge Olivia's pompous remark and I detested life and everything in between at the moment. But I loved my family, as horrible and embarrassing as they were, even that rat dog. I swore to set my house in order and get things straight as soon as possible.

"Please, take the evening off. Jane, Consuela, and I can make do for ourselves until tomorrow." I slipped more than several hundred dollars in Olivia's hand and gestured towards her suit.

Olivia was a mess. Her neat bun was falling down and covered in dirt, her suit was filthy, one of her heels was broken from chasing Franklin Thomas and her face had a decided scowl on it. I sighed and rubbed my forehead as I looked at her.

"You'll find all the things you requested in the refrigerator and pantry, the bar is fully stocked, you have linen enough in the closets in your rooms and anything else you may need please feel free to call me," Olivia said curtly.

"Thank you," I said glumly.

Franklin Thomas bounded into the room with a pillow in his mouth leaving a trail of stuffing behind him and wagging his tail as if he'd caught a prize. I laughed nervously again, Olivia rolled her eyes and walked out the door.

...

"It's a paddle boat, Maura." Jane said animatedly next to me.

She was practically bouncing on her toes as she ran up and down the dock looking at all the canoes and boats tied up on the huge pond. After all my big talk in the car of wanting Jane to spend time with me outside, at this point I just wanted to go back inside and lay down and take a nap. I was exhausted from all the running around and cleaning up. But Jane seemed to be invigorated by all the madness and she practically dressed me herself and dragged me outside. I insisted Angela take a nap. I needed a break from the baby and quite frankly I could have used a break from everything. But Jane's face was beaming and her smile was so precious that I could deny her nothing, so I caved.

I was wearing a little sun dress and fancy flip flops and Jane was still dressed in jeans and her long sleeves and gloves despite the heat outside. But her face was all anticipation and giddiness like a child on Christmas morning. I had no desire to go rowing around in the pond. The pond was pretty don't get me wrong and it was covered in lily pads and dozens of ducks and birds having a ball in the center of the water. But all I could think about was how filthy the pond water was and how many ways Jane could get an infection in her newly healed scars. Jane however didn't seem to have a care in the world and least of all about infections or how dirty the water was. I was torn about what to do. Jane looked so happy and her eyes were so lively, I couldn't tell her it wasn't safe to go rowing around in the water, especially with her arm in a cast. Even if I told her no, I had a feeling Jane would row herself out there anyway with a rebellious pout on her face and a glimmer of determination in her eyes. Franklin Thomas bounded down the dock barking madly at a group of ducks in the water. The ducks seemed to panic and started swimming in the other direction as fast as they could but before I knew what was happening Franklin Thomas was in the water in an instant swimming after them.

"Yay FT get 'em...GET 'EM!" Jane encouraged the not so tiny puppy.

"Jane don't encourage FT to do that to the ducks! That's mean." I scolded my girlfriend and her mischievous grin.

Franklin Thomas seemed to take Jane's cheers to heart and snapped at the ducks. But a very large looking male duck swam up next to him and started bashing at his face with his beak and honking madly. Franklin Thomas yelped and whined and tried to snap at the duck that was beating him up but the duck was relentless. Franklin Thomas started trying to swim for shore his little paws thrashing desperately at the water and his face looking terrified and confused, but the duck was on his tail snapping at the back of his head with his long powerful beak. Franklin Thomas whined and yapped and Jane was beside herself with panic.

"Oh NO!" Jane wailed.

Jane was running up and down the dock frantically.

"SWIM Franklin Thomas...SWIM!" Jane shouted at her dog who was whining and whimpering and had never looked more pathetic in his life.

The duck was all over him thrashing its wings and honking madly and pecking at poor FT's little body.

"We gotta get him baby, we gotta _get_ him!" Jane wailed at me, her eyes wide and worried.

"Honey you were the one that told him to attack those innocent ducks who were minding their own business," I said disdainfully.

Jane glared at me. Then she started stripping from her clothing.

"Baby what in the hell are you doing?" I screeched.

"I'm gonna save my _puppy_!" Jane shouted at me, but her voice was muffled behind her long sleeved shirt she was trying to pull over her head but it was caught on her cast and she was twisting around in circles trying to get the thing off.

I would have laughed if she didn't look so ridiculous.

"Honey be still, be _still_." I yelled at her as I tried to pull the shirt back down over her body. But Jane was still trying to get it off and we were doing the silliest dance of wills, neither one of us managing to make the shirt do what we wanted it to do.

"Baby I gotta save my puppy!" Jane cried.

She was starting to panic. She was flailing around and wiggling so much she bumped me accidentally with her hip and I tripped, landing in the water face first.

"OH GOD...OH GOD!" I panicked.

I was never a good swimmer and Jane's shirt had come off her body just as she bumped me and I was twisted up in the thing worse than she had been. I flailed and choked on pond-scum laden water and I cried desperately. Jane ran up and down the dock flailing her arms and screaming. I was thrashing the water so hard it was churning and bubbling and blinding me and making me choke and cry.

"BABY! SWIM BABE...it's only five feet of water...just _swim_ honey...SWIM!" I could hear Jane shouting at me from the dock.

I tried to swim the best I could, but Jane's long sleeved shirt had wrapped around my neck somehow and for some reason I was only managing to swim in circles no matter how hard I fought with the water.

"MAURA the water is your _friend_, it will hold you up if you just breathe and move your arms!" Jane wailed at me.

She started winding her arms at the edge of the dock trying to coach me. "Like _this_ baby, do it like THIS! NO...swim the other way...swim the other _way_...stroke..._stroke_...STROKE! Kick your feet...**MAURA** why are you so bad at this?" Jane was still shouting at me.

I tried to scream back at her but I swallowed more water with all my thrashing around and I started sputtering and choking and coughing on the grimy, murky, nauseating, muddy pond water. I heard barking close to me, but I couldn't see with all the water I was churning up trying not to drown.

"IT'S FIVE _FEET_ OF WATER MAURA..._Just_ _stand_ **UP**!" I could hear Jane shouting at me.

I tried to do as she said but I felt something close around my pony tail and I heard FT's growls behind me. I was being dragged away by my hair by the damn dog. FT's little paws worked hard in the water trying to pull me to shore but that horrible duck was still behind him and I felt its beak beating at me viciously.

"OWWW OWWWWW!" I screeched.

I tried to swat at the duck but it was on top of me pecking at my face. I cried and thrashed and flailed. Franklin Thomas did his best to save me and swam on top of me trying to get at the duck but he pushed my head under the surface with his foot and I choked on even more water.

"Get AWAY from her duck!" I heard Jane shouting.

I managed to open my eyes in between choking and gasping for air and I saw Jane's shirtless body beating at the water with an oar.

"GET AWAY DUCK!" Jane screeched.

Jane tried to beat at the duck that was still attacking FT and I, but his little duck family flew out of the water at Jane and ran at her. Their wings were spread wide and they were honking angrily and going at her like crazy with their duck bills.

"OWWW," I heard Jane freaking out. "GET BACK...GET BACK!"

Jane was spinning in circles batting at the ducks that were flying at her from every direction. But Jane only had one arm to work with and she lost her balance quickly and landed in the water right along with me. The ducks were all over us both. Jane was cursing and beating at them with her one good arm. Feathers were flying everywhere. Franklin Thomas was barking like crazy. The ducks were honking and stabbing us with their bills. I was in tears from the hysteria and the pain in my arms and face. I felt Jane's arm wrap around my body as she swam for the shore. I blubbered and flailed my arms like crazy as the ducks followed us the entire way.

"BE STILL WOMAN...BE _STILL_!" Jane cursed and shouted as she struggled with my writhing body. "Owwwww OWWWW Goddamn DUCKS!"

I felt myself being dragged ashore. I lay in the grass gasping for air. I was covered in green slime and feathers and I had bruises all over my arms from the duck attack. FT ran out of the water and took off as fast and as far away from the ducks as he could, whimpering and yelping with his tail between his legs. Jane cursed and screamed and kicked at the ducks that were flying all around us. Feathers were everywhere. The ducks didn't leave us alone until Jane's foot connected with a few of their faces and they retreated back into the water honking and celebrating their victory. Jane stood next to me gasping for air. Her hair had pond slime in it, her wet olive toned skin glistened and shone in the late afternoon sun. Her muscles rippled and her eyes were bright with fire and fury.

"Maura...how come your ass can't _swim?"_ Jane asked in between gasping breaths.

I rolled over on my knees and crawled further up the bank moaning and groaning in pain. I collapsed in the grass in a heap of feathers and just started sniveling.

"Owww, Jane my _arms_...those ducks hurt my arms," I yelled. "And my face...am I _bleeding_?"

I felt Jane next to me. She rolled me over and pulled me into her arms. I lay my head on her shoulder when I felt her laughing. My head shot up from her chest and I pouted and frowned at her.

"It's not _funny_, JANE!" I growled at her.

Jane only started laughing harder. She laughed so hard she doubled over and her entire body shook. I swatted at her playfully.

"Stop _laughing_ at me!" I whined. I blushed from embarrassment and frustration. I remembered the swimming instructor at my boarding school said my inability to relax and give up control kept my swimming ability to the bare minimum. I'd been laughed at maliciously at school, but Jane's laughter was sweet, playful and music to my ears. I couldn't help giggling in return. She didn't mean me harm and I knew she loved me.

"You c-c-can't swim in _five_ feet of water...it's so sad...you're so _sad_ baby! You should have seen yourself. Oh my GOD! I wish I had that on camera. You're so funny baby...stop...stop _hitting_ me," Jane laughed so hard she was rolling around in the grass.

But I could only be so irritated with Jane. I looked over at her. I smiled. Somehow she'd lost her gloves and her shirt was gone and she didn't even seem to notice or mind she was laughing so hard. I crawled on top of her and pinned her down with my dripping wet body.

"You're being an asshole," I scolded her.

Jane just grinned up at me devilishly.

"I saved you baby. I saved you from the embarrassment of drowning in two feet of water and being pecked to death by birds...AHHHAHAHAHA!" Jane continued to laugh.

I pouted and attacked her, tickling her body until she was gasping for air and crying happy tears between begging me to stop. I laughed with her. I wrapped her in my arms and kissed her all over her face and neck, grinning when Jane squealed and squirmed beneath me.

"Maura it tickles...it _tickles_," Jane yowled.

I kissed her all over her body and blew raspberries on her stomach. Jane cackled and flailed in excitement. My heart was on fire. I was a filthy mess, Jane was covered in slime and feathers, but I'd never seen her so beautiful. Her laughter was brighter than the sun, her smile was gorgeous, she shivered and wiggled in my arms and I loved her so much. Jane pulled me against her so our lips were almost touching. She smiled at me and looked deep in my eyes. I saw so many things fall away from her for the moment. All the pain, all the fear, all the self loathing, all her anguish was gone as she stared at me shirtless in the grass under the sun. She cradled my face in her hand and I gasped at how beautiful her dark eyes were in the sunlight. She brushed my wet hair from my face and kissed me. I closed my eyes; she opened my mouth with her soft tongue. She pulled me against her and held me close. I loved the feeling of her skin against mine. I had only felt her bare flesh briefly in the last several weeks and to feel it now trembling beneath my body...it was hard to breathe. She kissed me so deeply and so passionately I shuddered on top of her and moaned softly in her mouth. She was mine again in that moment. Her fear was gone, the extra clothing was gone, and anxiety was nowhere to be found. She was my Janie and I was her Maura and nothing and no one else mattered. We kissed for minutes that could easily have been hours. We kissed and kissed and kissed. I sighed and moaned and shuddered against her. Jane giggled every time my body shook and smiled every time I whispered silly, sweet things in her ear. I pulled back and just stared down at her. I was lost in her beauty. I was lost in her touch. I was lost in the love I saw in her eyes and I was lost in all the ways she made me so happy. We didn't speak for several long minutes. We just stared into each other's eyes; the bright sunshine warming our wet bodies along with the heat we gave to one another. Jane pecked at my lips and pulled feathers from my hair.

"I have to teach your ass to swim baby because you suck at it," Jane teased me at long last.

Her eyes crinkled into that wicked little expression she got when she was being facetious. I giggled.

"I'm going to teach you some things _too_ baby," I said.

"Yeah like what?" Jane narrowed her eyes at me.

"Well for starters I'll teach you how to listen when I give you good advice."

"Like you listen to me when I tell you to swim for the shore and you just flail around in circles," Jane laughed.

"You're exaggerating princess." I said trying to tickle Jane again.

Jane rolled me over and covered her body with mine. We rolled in the grass kissing and hugging each other and teasing playfully. I couldn't stop giggling and Jane wouldn't stop nipping at me with her teeth and honking like a duck.

"Stop Jane you're so silly...S-STOP...stop honking like that. You're so silly Jane...you're so silly!" I laughed breathlessly as Jane went at me with her teeth and her inane honking and her giggles.

Her body on top of mine and her laughter in my ear made me feel like I was floating in the heavens. I felt a flush in my body and a heat inside me that made my face blush and my eyes pop and my thighs tremble. I gritted my teeth trying desperately not to admit that I was thinking and feeling exactly what I was thinking and feeling, but I couldn't help it. It had been a long time to be absent a certain type of touch from Jane. I hadn't thought such thoughts at all since that...thing...happened. But in that moment, rolling in the grass with the woman that was my lover and the greatest love of my life...so many things came rushing in so fast, so real. I swallowed hard and rolled Jane off of me a little more abrupt than I intended.

"Hey, Maura. I was just playing with you honey." Jane frowned next to me.

Her eyes seemed sad and maybe a little bit hurt. My heart broke. I sighed and rolled on top her again pulling feathers and filth from her tangled curly locks.

"I didn't mean to upset you little princess. I just...it's hot out here you wanna go inside?" I asked her softly.

Jane looked up at me with those huge sweet eyes and my heart melted again. I kissed her sweetly several times and goose bumps erupted on my skin when I felt Jane's entire body tremble beneath mine. I pulled back quickly but less abrupt this time. I couldn't do this with her. I loved her more than anything, but I couldn't do this with her right now. I wasn't absolutely sure, but I didn't think we were ready and I would take any chances with Jane's recovery. Not that I didn't want her, God knows I wanted her...I always did, and always would. But I wanted her whole, and complete, and healed and we were both a long way from that. Still, the smile on her face and the way her breath came unsteadily from her mouth made me burn with desire. It took all the strength I had to stand my ground. But Jane made everything better and more difficult at the same time. Even breathing was harder when I was with her. She cradled my face in her hand again and kissed me sweetly. My entire body flushed with arousal and I had to wiggle around a little bit to relieve the pressure between my legs. Maybe this was something we could talk about later. I remembered Violet said we should talk and open up to one another.

"I love it here baby. And I love you Maura Isles." Jane whispered up at me.

Her eyes were so sincere and so sweet I felt tears forming in my own eyes. I kissed her wrist lightly several times and ran my fingers through her hair.

"I hope I make you happy this weekend baby," I said softly against her lips.

Jane smiled sweetly.

"I'm always happy when I'm with you," She said before pulling me into a kiss so hot I thought I'd incinerate from the passion of it.

I thought of the ring in the safe. I smiled. We were home.


	32. Open up to me

**A/N: I'd like the thank my Betamax Mrj726 for putting up with all my emo cry baby bullshit the last two weeks. I know I worked you to death on this chapter and you made it so much better from the mess it was. I'd also like to apologize to my readers for yesterday's posting mishap, that was all my bad I didn't mean to piss anyone off. I hope you enjoy the chapter. Thank you guys for still reading, I'm trying really hard to make the beautiful ending I promised you happen and it has _not_ been easy. Please review, reviews are love. **

**Jane**

I sat on the bed in the bedroom at the B&B staring at the long-sleeved shirt, jeans and gloves that Maura laid out for me before she left for errands in the city. I smiled to myself when I thought of her. She always made a point to see that I had all I needed if she left me alone. I touched my lips and remembered the kiss she gave me before she left. My lips still tingled. I picked up the pair of gloves rubbing the soft leather in my hands. They were beautiful gloves, probably very expensive. Maura bought them for me a couple of weeks ago when I first started wearing gloves all the time. She never said a word about the way I covered myself up. But every time she looked at me her eyes would fall, her shoulders sagged and sometimes when she thought I wasn't looking, I could see tears on her cheeks. When I saw Maura so worried about me my heart would break. I felt so much shame, not only because of what happened to me, but because I hated how much Maura was hurting. I wanted so badly to wear tank tops, dresses, shorts and be pretty for Maura. But I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Every time I looked in the mirror I hated myself. I felt so filthy and dirty. Even though Maura always bathed me and kissed me and told me I was pretty, my reflection in the mirror only brought me tears. I'd allowed myself to wallow in self-misery for ages now and I was so tired of it. I knew Maura loved me and my self-loathing only added to her pain. I was weary of watching Maura suffer in silence. I wanted to love her again in every way, and I wanted to not be afraid of all the ways she showed me her love. I wanted to feel her skin against mine, and hold her tightly against me, hearing her whisper my name in the way that makes me crazy. I wanted us to be free with one another like we were yesterday at the pond. I loved the way she smiled at me in the summer sun, her body wet, her eyes shining, and her hair full of duck feathers. I loved the kisses she gave me and the ones I gave her in return without a thought in the world other than her loveliness. I missed my happiness, I missed my angel, and I missed us. I wanted her back...I wanted everything back.

But Maura and I had lost so much since...everything happened. But, yesterday at the pond had been amazing, crazy, and fun. Maura laughed like I hadn't seen her laugh in weeks. I smiled when I thought of all that happened at the pond. Maura had been so funny trying to swim. It was awful that I found her inability to swim properly so hysterical, but Maura was always so perfect, well usually, and seeing her swimming around in circles in five feet of water was one of the funniest things I'd seen in a long time. I stood and walked to the window of the bedroom that overlooked the grounds. In the distance, I could just make out the pond. The sunlight was sparkling over the surface of the water and reflecting the tall beautiful trees behind it. It was gorgeous. I could see the ducks in the pond sunbathing and I could see Franklin Thomas standing on the dock looking longingly at the water. I knew he hadn't forgotten how those ducks kicked his ass yesterday, but he hadn't worked up the courage to take them on again. I knew it was only a matter of time. I sighed as I walked onto the balcony outside the bedroom. The late morning sun was hot already and I felt my skin burning. I looked down at my torso and realized I was only wearing a bra. I panicked for a moment until I remembered I didn't have to be afraid. Maura wasn't here but she promised she'd be back soon. I knew I'd be ok without her for a while today. Maura needed a break from me and from everything else for that matter. Every time I looked at her over the past few weeks she seemed so tired and strained. Her eyes were always filled with concern. I didn't like it when she looked at me like she was afraid of what I might do, or what I was thinking. But I was ready to be brave. I was ready to try and be everything Maura needed, wanted and deserved. I wanted my life with Maura to feel like heaven again, when she was mine, I was hers and all the things that had threatened to tear us apart didn't exist.

As I gazed out over the grounds of the bed and breakfast I took a deep breath. My nose picked up the scents of horses, hay, fresh cut grass and flowers. I loved the smells. The sound of squirrels playing in the trees came to my ears and the sound of FT barking in the distance made me smile. The dog loved it here, I loved it here, Angela loved it here, and I even think Consuela loved it here. I looked down at the sparking pool below the balcony and grinned. I wanted to swim in that thing so badly. Maura wouldn't let me swim last night insisting I needed to let my cast dry out and as hard as I whined she would not bend. I would have pouted all night, but there was something about the glimmer in Maura's eyes as she looked at me across the dinner table wearing one of those little negligees. My arguments faded away somewhere in the recesses of my mind and I forgot all about the pool. I know Maura saw me watching her body move in that negligee and I know I saw her blush a million times. At one point I couldn't help myself from staring at her breasts, but Maura noticed that too and she left the table coming back wearing a bathrobe which made me sad. But I didn't say anything. I didn't really know what to say or do as I hated thinking that I'd made Maura uncomfortable somehow. Maura used to love it when I looked at her a certain way, now...

I spent the rest of the evening worried that Maura didn't want me that way anymore. The thought of me never being able to make love to her again devastated me. I knew I'd been beyond difficult to be around the last few weeks, I knew I was damaged, unattractive and that man had hurt me, but I still loved Maura with all my heart. The only person in the world I could ever see myself being touched by again was her, and that was true even before I was...

I'd almost crawled back into my dark place last night and hid away from Maura when I thought she'd never want to touch me again. But Maura came to me, kissed me and held me in her arms as the sun set behind the pond. The sounds of crickets filled the air, lightning bugs filled the skies and in that moment, I fell in love with her all over again. Maura slept in her negligee last night and she didn't blush when I looked at her the same way I did over dinner. She did turn off the lights quickly citing I needed my rest, but before she flicked off the lamp I saw her raise her eyebrows at me. I remembered that look; I'd seen it on her face before...when she wanted me. My breath caught in my throat when she'd looked at me that way, I think my jaw dropped and a pleasant warmth spread between my legs. But before I could speak a single word or take a breath the room went dark, and Maura crawled into bed. Before I knew it I was wrapped in her arms with her hair in my face and a tingle in my stomach. I fell asleep that way last night, and when I awakened this morning Maura pulled me into the shower with her. I pretended I was in pain from all the activity yesterday, and just as I had hoped Maura washed my body for me. I grinned mischievously, feeling proud of myself for thinking of it. But Maura caught me grinning, and looked at me with shock all over her face. She poked me all over with her finger and accused me of lying which I adamantly denied, but of course she didn't believe me. As much as she scowled at me she didn't seem angry, if anything she was amused. She raised her eyebrows at me like she did the night before and made me wash her body instead. I didn't put up a single argument, who would? I tried to hide my triumphant smile but it was hard to do with express permission to check out my girlfriend's body. I was awkward with my broken arm and damaged hand, but Maura didn't seem to mind and it gave me an excuse to take my time. I think I washed her breasts three times and by the third time when I looked in Maura's eyes I could tell she was barely holding in her laughter. I blushed and nearly died of embarrassment, but when I tried to pull my hand away she leaned in and kissed me and held my hand against her chest and I melted in that moment. I tried to pull her closer to me but Maura was out of the shower before I got the chance and I was left grumbling.

Now Maura was gone to get some medical supplies to cut off my old cast and give me a new one, and I was left to dress myself and explore the rest of the house and grounds. Maura seemed to have a peculiar interest in getting me to know the whole house. While the house was incredibly beautiful, it was also very large and it would take a lifetime to discover everything and I didn't want to be cramped up inside. I really wanted to go check out the horses, but there was something I wanted to take care of first. Something no one knew about but me. I tossed the gloves on the bed and rummaged through my drawers hoping to find something more appropriate to wear. But I realized quickly all I'd packed were jeans and long sleeved shirts. I cursed softly to myself. I rummaged through Maura's closet instead and pulled out a little white sun dress. I smiled and put it on. I looked at myself in the huge mirror on the wall. It was a slightly shorter than I'd have liked and I hated the way my cast looked. It was cramping my style and made me look broken. I wanted to be pretty. I frowned. I pulled my brand new switchblade from my bag and cut the cast right off my arm. I breathed a sigh of relief when the cast fell away and my poor arm could breathe again. I tucked the knife back in my bag and took comfort when I saw the pistol inside. Both the knife and the pistol were gifts from Maura's mother at my request. I had to promise Constance on my life that the gun was only for protection. The woman seemed to worry about me just as much as Maura did these days. But Constance usually always did as I asked and after I showed her my NYPD Academy certificate she'd agreed to help me acquire a gun. I'd managed to keep it hidden from Maura so far, but I knew that wouldn't last forever. Maura had been distracted as of late with taking care of everything under the sun including me, but I knew she'd find out eventually. I hoped Maura wouldn't be angry with me for having weapons in the house. But the gun and the knife made me feel safe. I know Maura wanted to be my great protector and I don't think she'd fancy the idea of me packing heat, but I'd deal with that later.

I sat on the bed and pulled my wallet from the bag. I counted the bills inside the billfold and smiled. Three thousand two hundred dollars, that's what I had left after Maura's mother sold everything from my old apartment. I looked down at the bed I was sitting on and sighed. I knew the bed alone cost more than all the money in my hand. I looked around the room at all the fine-looking things and the chest of drawers with all my beautiful clothes inside. Everything in my world now was extravagance, expense and spoke of a class I had neither been born with or fully understood. Everything Maura gave me was more than I ever thought I'd have, even before I lost my family. Even the love Maura gave me was more than I ever thought I'd know. Maura had opened my life, my heart and my world to everything she had to give. Sometimes when she held me I felt like I was drowning in her. That's how much I loved her. But all I had accomplished on my own fit in the palm of my one hand. I wanted to cry looking at the small stack of bills that was all the money I had in the world. Maura probably spent five times as much just on this get-away, and all I had to my name, not counting what Maura gave me was three-thousand two-hundred dollars. I counted the money again and sighed. I blinked back tears. I wanted to give Maura wonderful things like she gave me. When I asked her to marry me I wanted it to be with a ring worthy of her finger. I wanted to see her face light up and her eyes sparkle. I wanted her to know how much I loved her, how much I wanted her to be mine and how much I wanted to be with her forever. I wanted her to know that I was not completely broken and maybe she would smile and kiss me more and maybe...maybe she'd make love to me again. But the money in my hand only reminded me of how small I was compared to Maura. She could have anyone, someone who could afford to buy her all the pretty things I could only dream of giving her. But for some reason, as poor, fucked up and crazy as I was, Maura never left me. She called me her princess and treated me like one. When I was in her arms, she was my angel and I felt safe and I wanted to buy a ring worthy of her finger. But Maura wore tennis bracelets worth more than 3200 dollars. I could easily purchase a nicer ring on one of the many credit cards Maura gave me. But I wanted to give her something with _my_ money, not _her_ money...and I wanted it to be as stunning as Maura though I knew no object could even come close.

I stuffed the money back in my wallet and wiped the tears from my eyes. Maybe Maura wouldn't mind a small ring; maybe she loved me enough that she'd wear it anyway, if she said yes. If she should say no, well I shuddered at the thought. I swallowed the fear rising in the back of my throat. If she said no, my heart broke just thinking about it. I knew Maura was it for me. I knew it with everything inside of me. She was the love of my life, my greatest joy. She was the smile on my face, the beat of my heart. I know there would never, ever be another that could stare right into the face of my darkness and my pain and still call me beautiful. Maura had seen all of me, the worst of me, things I hid from others and even myself. She'd seen me at my lowest, when I had nothing to offer but my body or a dollar to my name, and still she took me as I was. A tear ran down my cheek as I thought of all I'd been through with Maura in so short of time. We'd been through enough to make the strongest person break down and run away, but that woman...since the moment we met...had never, ever done anything but love me, stand by me, support me, fight for me, open her home to me, her heart and her everything to me. All the while, with all the chaos Angela and I brought into her life, she never, ever complained. I was never a whore to her, or ugly, or worthless even when that was all I thought of myself. When I looked in Maura's eyes I could see the way she loved me and I wished I could only love myself half as much as I loved her. I would buy her the best ring I could afford. If she let me put it on her finger, I prayed she would know that every drop of my blood, every breath in my lungs, every single I love you I spoke for the rest of my life would belong to her and her alone. My heart and my stomach were in knots as I drove to the jewelry store. I prayed with everything inside of me. I prayed that she loved me enough to say 'yes'.

...

**Maura**

The sun was setting by the time I managed to get back to the bed and breakfast. I had not planned to be gone so long, but I had so much business in the office, then James called to talk about Tommy. I also had to sign paper work with the realtor and time just got away from me. I was completely exhausted, but still I was so glad our new house was away from the chaos of inner New York. I needed peace and quiet tonight, well at least as much peace and quiet as I was likely to find amongst my family. The real peace I found these days was in the quiet of the night when everyone was in bed and Jane was sleeping in my arms. That's when I could breathe a sigh of relief, let my mind wander and relax a little from the stress of the day. But I loved my family so much, even as hectic as they made my life. I smiled when I thought of Jane. I hoped she had a good day, was in a good mood and had plenty of stories to tell of all the trouble that she, our child and puppy most likely were involved in at some point during the day. I sighed heavily when the limo pulled to a stop in front of the house. I tipped the driver and reached for the door handle, but Jane was suddenly there and opened the door herself.

"Hi baby," Jane said excitedly as she pulled me out of the limo and wrapped me in her arms.

I was nearly crushed by her hug and from the weight of my surprise. I was so shocked for a moment I thought I was at the wrong place and hugging the wrong woman. Jane was wearing a sundress...a _sundress_. I could see her toned shapely legs and her shoulders and arms were only covered by a light cotton jacket. Jane blushed as I looked at her in wonder. I would have smiled but my face was frozen in astonishment. The cast on her arm was gone somehow and so were the gloves. Her skin was warm against my body and her face was beaming as she looked at me shyly. I held her at arm's length and looked her over in wonder. I knew my mouth was hanging open and my eyes were wide with disbelief. My sundress hugged her body beautifully and she was even wearing sandals...and _make-up_. I tried to speak, but all that came out were stutters and stammers. I blinked my eyes a million times still not convinced that I was seeing what I was actually seeing. It had to be a fantasy. This couldn't be real. Jane just grinned at me sheepishly.

I took her hand in mine and pulled her into me. She looked at me so sweetly, so innocently. In her eyes, I saw the eyes of my child. I saw my future. I saw my hopes and my dreams. I saw a woman that loved me, that loved _all_ of me. And I saw a woman that needed me, that needed _all_ of me. She was not weak; she had never been weak even when she would never have described herself as strong. But she was complex, full of thoughts and feelings she never spoke about, but her actions spoke volumes of all the things she dreamed. I knew she dreamed. I saw them in her eyes. I saw them when she looked at me. I heard them in her voice and her softest sighs. I felt them in her kisses, her touches and when she spoke my name. I knew she dreamed of me. As I stood looking her over and holding her in my arms I allowed myself the first breath of fresh air I'd had since I woke this morning and found her next to me cradled in my embrace.

The wind blew and swept her curly locks in her face. I caught the aroma of vanilla in her hair along with the flowers in the gardens and the smell of grass, but her scent was there above all others. I smelled her even as I slept. The smell of her lingered on my clothes and sometimes when I was away from her I'd pick up her scent and my eyes would close and I could see her face. I would smile then, and pray that she was safe and happy until I could be with her again. When my eyes would open the world around me would be a little dimmer somehow, like the absence of her in my company made the world just a little less bright, the sun not so glorious and the moon not so majestic. My heart ached for her and I would wish her near and the seconds would drone on like millennia until I returned to her. Then the world would be reborn again, the sun would shine, the angels would sing and her voice was music in my ears. That is what I felt in that moment as she held her jacket tightly against her body and shivered slightly more from uncertainty than from cold. I felt like the day was finally warm even though the sun was setting and the first lights of twinkling stars dotted the sky. I was finally warm.

I looked over Jane's shoulder at the huge bed and breakfast that was our home now, even though she didn't know it yet. I smiled to myself. I knew Jane loved it here, and I loved that she loved it more than I could ever express. The nights were so quiet and there were no people around except my family and our help. I loved the peace. Jane laid her head on my shoulder and sighed softly. Her warm breath on my skin made me shudder. I took Jane's chin in my fingers and tilted her face on my shoulder to look up at me. She was being oddly quiet after the excitement of yesterday and her giddiness this morning. I knew there was something on her mind. I brushed her hair from her cheek and smiled at her. She returned my smile with a sweet grin and when I kissed her lips I felt them tremble against my own. Jane sighed when I pulled out of the kiss slowly. Her eyes were closed and her face nuzzled against my neck and I fell further and further in love with her. Jane opened her eyes and smiled. She took my hand and placed it in the crook of her arm and walked me toward the house.

I pulled Jane into me before she could open the door. I wanted to be alone with her for a bit. I'd waited all day just to feel her in my arms. She did not fight me nor speak. She just brushed my hair from my face and looked down at me with those brown eyes that made me weak and I was lost in her. I felt her hands on the small of my back and she pulled me tightly into her body. I started to speak but her lips were on mine before I could form so much as a single word. It was as though the rest of the world was no longer there. I was in a different place entirely. Jane kissed me hard, so hard my head spun, so hard my body trembled, so hard my knees felt weak and the moan on my tongue tasted like ecstasy. I dropped my medical bag and it landed with a clunk long forgotten. I wrapped my fingers in Jane's hair and kissed her back with a frenzy of lust and desire. Jane met my kisses with heat and passion and I found myself lifted from my feet and seated on the railing of the porch. I wrapped my legs around Jane's body and forgot everything in the universe that wasn't the woman in my arms. I wanted her so much it hurt deep inside of me. My body erupted in shivers and sweat. My skin was hot and flushed and screaming to be touched. Jane's hands were all over me, almost like they knew how much my body wanted her and were doing their best to oblige. I felt the fire of arousal wash over me. I felt my legs shaking, my nipples hardening, and my vagina felt like lightning in a storm. My head was swimming and my eye lids fluttered but there was something inside me screaming to stop. It was the tiniest voice barely heard above the uproar taking place in my body, but it made me remember what was most important right now, and that was Jane. I gently pulled out of the kiss and with my hands on Jane's shoulders, got off the railing and pushed us apart.

At first Jane looked at me in shock. I could see my lipstick all over her face and neck. I touched my own lips and knew I was wearing as much of Jane's lipstick as she was wearing of mine. I smiled and then my smile turned into giggles I couldn't control.

"What's so funny?" Jane lowered her eyes.

Her face was scrunched up in her favorite frown that made her look like a kid and I only laughed harder.

"WHAT!" Jane wailed.

She was starting to rub at her sundress with her hands and I knew she was becoming uncomfortable and uncertain of herself. I stopped laughing immediately and pulled her into me again. I cradled her face in my hands and just looked at her for a long time. She looked right back at me and in that moment my heart desired love and passion. This woman, her eyes, her smile, her skin, her hair, her lips, her heart, her soul, her flaws, her pain, her anger, her love, her everything...I wanted everything. She was the reason I woke in the morning and the reason I drew every breath I took. She was my life...and I loved her. I felt a tear run from my eye as I looked into her. Jane leaned her forehead against mine and wrapped her arms around my neck. I wrapped my arms around her waist and we danced in slow circles as the sunset and the crickets played a beautiful melody for us against the backdrop of the twilight sky. The fireflies lit up the darkness and twinkled like millions of stars. A soft warm breeze blew and Jane's curly locks swept across her face. I kissed her lips softly from time to time, but we did not speak. We just danced in each other's arms lost in whatever thoughts we had or the absence of thoughts, because in that moment, there was nothing else. I could want no more than what I had already.

I danced with Jane on our porch for what could have been forever. I slowly pulled the jacket from her shoulders. I smiled at her as I did so. Jane blushed. She did not resist, but she shuddered when the jacket fell to the ground. I held her close to me. I whispered I love you in her ear and her eyes closed. Her body shivered when I kissed her lips and the softest sigh escaped her mouth. I kept running my fingers over the skin of her arms. I'd missed the touch of her skin. I kept smiling between the tears pouring from my eyes as I would kiss her shoulders softly and she would shudder every time.

"You're so pretty little princess...my pretty, pretty princess," I spoke softly in Jane's ear.

I felt her giggling in my arms.

I smiled and kissed her sweetly again. By the time I pulled away Jane was breathless. I felt the heat in my body again. I took several deep breaths to still everything going on inside of me. But it was so hard to wipe my mind of certain thoughts and my eyes could not deny the loveliness of the woman in my arms. I pulled Jane's head to lie on my shoulder as we danced. I thought if I didn't have to look directly into her eyes I could trick myself into not wanting her so badly. But Jane kissed my neck with her soft lips and I had to grit my teeth to keep from gasping and moaning and doing all the things to her that my mind was imagining in that moment. The images of her legs around my waist and her moans in my ear kept raging in my mind. I ran my hands up Jane's sides and she giggled and squirmed.

"My love...you'll always be my little princess. Forever Janie, forever." I whispered to her.

Jane sighed. "You'll always be my angel."

I smiled and buried my face in her hair. I felt her shiver again and I had to hold her tightly to keep her from falling.

"Will you walk with me sweetheart?" I asked her softly.

Jane smiled and took my hand and I led her down the stone path to the gardens around the pond. Jane was quiet as we walked and I did not push her to speak. It was enough just to be in her company. I'd missed her all day and I loved walking beside her. I pulled her into my lap as we sat in the garden swing and Jane wrapped her arms around me and lay her head on my shoulder again. I kissed her sweetly from time to time and ran my fingers through the silk of her hair. I thought many thoughts in those moments. I remembered so many nights where I thought I would never know happiness again. I remembered the moments when I found her in that club and...

One lonely tear ran from my eye as I held her in my lap and rocked her in my arms. I prayed again. I prayed in thanks. I prayed from the depths of me. The tears on my cheeks were those of a joy I'd never felt. I thanked God for the Grace of Jane's soul, for her strength, for her courage, her bravery, for her love, for her safety, for the life that I had been blessed with and the love I still had in my heart despite how much I had been angry and broken. I believed now in a higher power, as there was nothing on this earth that I had ever studied, understood or read in any book that could account for the way I loved Jane and the reason that Jane was still here with me, in my arms, fighting so hard for us despite what happened to her. I was astounded by her. The world had been so cruel to her for so many long years. From the moment I met her I saw so much pain in her eyes, and so much sadness. But she touched me the moment I laid my eyes upon her and she had not stopped moving me since.

"I'm wearing a dress baby," Jane said softly. "Do you like it?"

I smiled at her. I know she could not make out my smile clearly in the dim light of the setting sun, but the smile was on my face none the less. Her words were soft and searching, innocent and sweet. I cradled her face in my hand and softly brushed her cheeks.

"I love it sweetheart, and I love you. But what happened to your cast honey?" I whispered in her ear.

"Oh...I took it off. It's not very sexy."

I chuckled.

"Honey you have to wear it another three weeks. I'll make it smaller this time so it's not so cumbersome, but I want your arm to heal properly sweetheart." I said gently.

Jane grumbled and whined.

"Nooo Maura my arm doesn't hurt anymore. It only bothers me if I bump it on something or twist it funny. I'll be careful. I'm ok now. Please don't make me wear that ugly thing again. I'm ok now and I want to be pretty for you."

I frowned and pulled Jane's head back so I was looking at her face. She appeared dejected and worried. She let her gaze fall from me. I wrapped her chin in my fingers and made her look at me again.

"There has never been a moment since I laid eyes on you that you haven't been beautiful to me. There is nothing you could do or say or experience that would make me love you any less or make me want you any less and I will always..._always_ think you're beautiful. _Always_ princess," I whispered.

I heard my voice crack. I felt the tears on my cheeks. I felt the pain in my chest. I wanted to say so many things...but words were just not enough to express how much Jane meant to me. Jane looked at me with those lovely eyes of hers. She started to speak, but her voice caught and tears started to stream down her face. I brushed her cheeks with my thumbs and kissed as many tears as I could.

"You're just saying that because you have too..." Jane cried softly.

"...I'm saying it because it's _true_ Janie. I can't lie and even if I could I've never meant anything in my life as much as I do when I tell you I love you and how beautiful you are. Nothing could ever be truer, and in a billion years it will still be true." I said with a voice so choked my words barely escaped my mouth.

It was growing harder and harder to make words come out of my mouth between the lump in my throat and the pain in my chest. But I didn't stop. I _had_ to tell her...I _had_ to make her understand...I _had_ to make her know that she _was_ everything to me. Without her, there _was_ nothing for me, I would _be_ nothing, and she...she was my universe. This was the woman I dreamed of in white with flowers in her hair and standing next to me at the altar. If she knew nothing else...if I failed at all other things in my life...if I were to die in a matter of seconds, I could not leave Jane knowing that I never truly told her just how much she meant to me. I'd swallowed my anguish and my pain and devoted myself to her completely with nothing more than the hopes of seeing her smile once again. But my own pain was just as real as hers; my heart ached just as much as hers and she needed to know that I was not a robot. I was not a liar. I was a woman with eyes to see a heart to love. I _saw_ her, I _loved_ her and I always would.

"When I first saw you in that club Jane..." I started.

But I had to stop and swallow all the pain the memory caused me. I closed my eyes and tried to wipe the tears from my cheeks but it was useless. So many feelings overcame me. My chest felt heavy and my heart was yearning. I looked at her and she was looking right at me, into me, her eyes wide and curious. But she did not seem afraid. She was not breaking, crying or shying away. In that moment she was my strength, and I was the one that was falling. The visions of her in that club clouded my mind with the grief I'd been holding inside, my eyes were bleary with tears and I started crying. I cried so hard my body hurt. I cried so hard I could barely breathe. I cried so hard I thought I would drown in my own tears. Experiencing pain of this depth felt so vivid it haunted me and cut me to the quick. I felt her kisses on my cheeks. I heard her soft words in my ear. She held me tightly. I nuzzled my face in her neck. She played with the fingers on my one hand as I ran my other hand through her soft silky curls. Our lips met in sloppy wet kisses. I could taste her own tears as I took her mouth with mine. Then she moved and I laid her head on my lap. I smiled down at her as my tears dotted her face. I stared at her that way for many long moments. We did not speak, I just held her, looked at her, and curled my fingers in her hair. I tried to smile through my tears. She reached up and touched my face. Her skin was so soft on mine and her touch was so gentle. I took her hand and kissed her wrist and she smiled at me. I ran my finger over her smiling lips and planted the memory in my head. After a long while I finally spoke again, my words were soft barely above a whisper and my heart breathed relief with each movement of my lips.

"When I first saw you in that club Janie...you were covered in blood and beaten and... Your clothes were torn and you were so hurt and exposed. I was so angry and horrified that I wasn't there for you. I let that happen to you. I wanted to tear my eyes out. I wanted to _kill_ the man that had..." I had to pause to let my anger settle. I wiped the tears on my cheeks.

"Janie I wanted to die when I saw you laying there. You were, you _are_ everything to me and I failed you. I should have _never_ opened that case, I should have _never_ done what I did, I should have been _with_ you instead of trying to send you away and that would have never happened to you." I closed my eyes. I brought my hand up to my mouth to hold back my tears. My hand was shaking violently and my body was trembling at the horror of the memory. Jane's eyes went wide. She sat up and pulled me into her and shushed me softly. I lay my head on _her_ shoulder this time as the pain I'd ignored poured out of me.

"...I thought I would _die_ Jane...I thought I would shatter into a million pieces. I was so afraid to touch you, but I couldn't let you go. I just wanted to feel you in my arms. I wanted to touch your heart and heal all your pain I would have laid my life at your feet if it meant I could have made all the pain go away. You are my baby Jane...you are a part of me and seeing you like that...it was like something in me died. I was _so_ scared, and _so_ angry, and so... I _knew_ if you died Jane...I could not and would not live without you. I was so scared..._so_ scared. I saw my life flash before my eyes and all I saw was pain and loneliness. But then there was your face and your smile, your voice, and the memory of making love to you and it was the only part of my entire life that meant anything. You are all the wonderful I know, you are everything to me. Then you cried my name as I held you in my arms, you were so close to death, you were so broken and so hurt and so...but you cried my name and I hated and blamed myself and everything in the world. I wanted it to be me, I wanted to die in your place because I knew in that moment if I lost you...there was nothing left for me in this world and...I _needed_ you. I knew right then I'd _never_ let you go, I'd _never_ let you wake up another day in your life and not know how much you are loved and how much you mean to me. I knew if it took the rest of my life I would show you again that you are so lovely..._so_ beautiful. When I found you in that hallway... I found a faith I did not know I even had, I prayed every day and still do. I found my purpose, I found my strength, and I found wisdom. The wisdom of knowing that all I am belongs to you. I knew I would not fail you, I knew I'd never give up; I will _never, ever_ leave you. I will keep every promise I make to you and the greatest promise of all is that I will always..._always_ love you."

Jane looked up at me with eyes shining brightly with tears. She held my hand so tightly. She held my hand like Angela holds my hand sometimes when she falls asleep in my arms. I could see my daughter's face in her eyes. I could see my hopes, dreams and all the splendor of the world reflected in her face. I saw light, truth, hope, and love. I could see she believed me and between us there would be no more pain. I did not see the face of the man I swore to hate all my life reflected back at me when I looked at her in that moment. All I saw was my princess, the woman I wanted to be my wife, the love of my life, and I was truly happy.

Jane kissed the tears on my cheeks and the bridge of my nose and nape of my neck. When she kissed my lips I wrapped my hands in her hair and it was like the first time again, so innocent, precious, and beautiful. I _knew_ she loved me. Jane pulled out of the kiss but her lips were never far from mine. She looked deeply into my eyes and whispered softly as she spoke.

"Promise me you'll stop blaming yourself for what happened that night. I never blamed you, I know you tried to save me, I know if you could have you'd have traded places with me. But I'm glad it was me instead of you Maura..." Jane said before her eyes lowered and filled with tears. I could see her chest heaving and her shoulders shaking slightly from her sobs. I wrapped her up in my arms and shushed her softly but when she looked in my eyes again I saw just how serious she was even as tears streamed down her face.

"If it had been you Maura...if you had been alone with that man...if he had hurt you...oh God," Jane cried.

She covered her face with her hands and I saw them shaking uncontrollably.

"I'm not strong like you Maura. I couldn't have survived seeing you so hurt; I couldn't have survived knowing you'd been...violated just because you were trying to give me peace over what happened to my family. I couldn't have done what you did for me. I couldn't have looked at you without crying, I couldn't have saved you like you saved me, I can't be anything like you and I would have died. But you're _so_ strong, and _so_ brave, and you...I _know_ you love me. I dreamed of you when I was sleeping after he raped me Maura. You were all I dreamed of, you and Angela. All my happy memories, all my hopes and dreams...they're all of you and her. I _fought_ him Maura. I fought him with all I had. I fought him because I knew...I _knew_ you loved me, I _knew_ you'd want me to fight, I _knew_ I couldn't die because if I did I'd never get to see your face again. I'd never get to see your smile again. I'd never get to watch you play with our daughter and I just couldn't leave you. You had given me a reason to live, hope and love...and ever since I met you...you've become my dream. But when I woke up...I just felt so disgusting. I couldn't even look in a mirror because I thought I didn't fight hard enough. I felt ripped apart and dirty from the inside out, I felt like I'd ruined everything we had. I just knew I wasn't good enough for you anymore; you deserve someone so much better than me. I thought you'd leave me, I thought...I thought... about dying. I… I… I… even… thought of just going away and leaving Angela with y-y-y-you. I did not think you would want me anymore but I thought at least Angela could be safe because I knew you still loved her." Jane paused to wipe the tears from her eyes.

She sobbed softly to herself but she never let go of my hand and I never let go of hers. I let her cry, and I shushed her softly. I ran my fingers through her hair and wiped the tears from her eyes gently. I smiled at her with all my love and I broke inside when she smiled back.

"You never left me. You're still here. Even after he raped me, you're still here." Jane whispered.

I cradled her face in my hand and kissed her lips. Jane opened her mouth for me and we kissed for many long minutes. She tasted sweet like honey and her skin was warm and her soft tongue danced with mine and she was beautiful..._always_ beautiful. When I pulled out of the kiss Jane's eyes remained closed. Her breath was unsteady and her lips trembled. I watched her chest rise and fall and I was grateful for every breath she took. Her very existence was a gift to me and I loved every atom of her being.

"I don't believe for a minute that if it _had_ been me that you would have left me. I _know_ you wouldn't have left me. You are stronger than your know. You're the woman that cursed at my mother for me, you're the woman that stood by me after my dress got ripped off at my own party, you're the woman that didn't laugh or ridicule me when I fell apart during the home inspection. You're the woman that laughs at my awful jokes; you're the woman that thinks I'm being cute when everyone else just finds me annoying. You're the woman that showed me what real love is, what hope is, what dreams are. You're the woman that offered her child to me as my own as much as hers. You're the woman I love and I know you love me too. I was yours the day I met you, from the moment I lay eyes on you, you touched something in me, and something I didn't even know was there. You brought me to life, you _are_ my life, and until my dying breath your face will be the reason my heart beats and your love will be the reason I pray every morning and every night. And when I pray, I will pray for you and our babies. And when I kiss you...I want you to know...that every kiss you give me is one more reason to love you and one more reason to live, because every time your lips touch mine, you make me feel like I'm flying." I said softly.

Jane's eyes were big as I spoke to her. When I fell silent again I saw her chin quiver and the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen covered her face. Even as the tears rolled down her cheeks she just kept smiling. She held my face gently with trembling hands and pulled me into her. My heart leapt in my chest. My breath hitched. My stomach felt like a million butterflies would carry me away. She closed her eyes and I closed mine. Our lips touched. Our hearts touched. Our souls touched. In my mind I could see a billion stars, I could hear the voices of Angels, and I could taste the very essence of life. Her tongue dancing with mine, her soft moan on my lips, her gentle caress on my face, made words useless. There were no words for this. I could never explain what I felt in that moment. The world was not enough for the way I felt for her. When our lips finally parted, a shiver went down my spine and I felt Jane shaking in my arms. I held her close and watched as so many emotions played across her face. She touched her lips and sighed with an unsteady breath. When she finally opened her eyes there was nothing of her I could not see.

**Jane**

I hurriedly grabbed the ring case from the plumber and slipped him a hand full of twenty dollar bills with a pleading look in my eyes.

"Please don't tell her," I whispered to him frantically.

The plumber looked at the money in his hand and raised an eyebrow at me. It was nine o'clock at night and I knew he'd been roused from his dinner to come to the bed and breakfast and deal with our 'issue' but I couldn't have him telling Maura what was actually flushed down the toilet. Maura was furious and now was certainly not the time to 'pop the question' so to speak. I just knew if I presented Maura with a ring in that moment I'd very likely find it stuffed down my throat, figuratively speaking of course. Besides, it was supposed to be a happy surprise, not a 'here's your engagement ring that just got fished out of the damn sewage pipes,' kind of surprise. I was so miserable and frustrated I could have broken down into tears. Instead, I did my best to put a damper on my disappointment. Maura did not like it when I cried, and if she saw me crying now she would get madder at Angela and the puppy and I didn't want any more anger directed at them then there was already, even if they deserved it. I opened the ring case and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw the ring was actually still in there and was in pretty good shape. The case was ruined but I could get another case and have the ring cleaned. It wasn't a huge diamond by any means. But I smiled when I looked at it anyway. It was very pretty, just like Maura. The three small diamonds sparkled up at me and all I could think of was the first time I met Maura and the way her eyes glowed in the garden's lantern light at the restaurant. Even though that had been the strangest 'date' of my life followed up by so much terror and drama, it was still the greatest thing that had ever happened to me. It brought me the love of my life, the love of my life that was now so angry I wanted to take Angela and FT and run until she calmed down. I sighed as I thought of the way she had kissed me just a few hours ago. I thought my heart would stop it was so loving. And all those sweet things she said to me and the way her eyes looked into mine so deeply had touched my heart to the point of breaking.

But our family, being our family, the world had quickly gotten chaotic. Happy times flushed down the toilet right along with half of Angela's shoes, Maura's favorite watch, a pacifier, a diaper which was the one Angela had been wearing, some of my underwear, Consuela's socks, Consuela's ugly ass Hawaiian shirt, and of all things, the ring I just bought for Maura. It was in my underwear drawer I don't even know how she got to it. I don't even know how Angela got out of her crib. But she recently started walking some again since her surgery and I suspect she probably had some help from FT. As usual, he was in the crib with her and she probably just stood on him and climbed out like a little monkey and then he jumped out after her. As soon as everyone sat down to dinner huge drops of water came pouring through the ceiling landing all over the table, food and us. I thought the sky was literally falling. We couldn't figure out what was going on. Consuela was screeching about her ruined meal and beat at the ceiling with a broom handle which only made bits of plaster fall all over everybody. Maura literally became unglued when she noticed water was coming down the stairs and filling up the entire downstairs. There was so much water I thought poor Bass would float away. There was so much panic in the house everyone was literally screaming at the top of their lungs running all over the house, slipping, sliding, cursing and freaking out. By the time we found out what was going on Angela had flushed so much stuff down the toilet the thing was shooting water like a geyser and she and Franklin Thomas were practically swimming in it. Angela was in the master bathroom flushing the toilet like a little squealing goblin as Franklin Thomas brought her things to flush with a wagging tail and excited eyes. She'd even managed to flush her own diaper. I almost passed out when I realized what they had been doing. Maura turned some kind of purple color and I thought I saw steam coming out of her ears. Consuela started pulling shoes, socks, baby clothes, hair brushes, and all kinds of shit out the toilet. I thought Maura's head would pop right off her shoulders. I tried to turn off the water valves so the toilet would stop shooting water and flooding the house, but I slipped and accidentally broke the valve handles right off the wall making everything worse. Angela just screeched and clapped her hands as she did the toddler high-step walk around the bathroom giggling at all the havoc she created. She was soaking wet and butt naked, Franklin Thomas was drenched and so was everyone else. Maura tried to grab a bucket to stop the water from blasting everyone in the face but the water pressure was so great the bucket flew out of her hands and cracked Consuela full on in the face and she fell and literally slid out of the bathroom right along with all the running water. I wanted to grab Angela and run, but I slipped in the water and landed on my arm. I think that's the only reason FT was still breathing because he was able to escape as Maura drug me out of the bathroom by my foot. Then she grabbed Angela and stomped off with her and I hadn't seen her since. I prayed Maura hadn't suffocated her with a pillow, and though that was unlikely because Maura loved Angela, Maura was also mad as _hell_! I was scared stiff for FT when Maura finally got a hold of him, but I couldn't chase him down and save him right now. I was under strict orders to remain calm and be still until she came back to check on my arm. The best idea that came to my mind was doing exactly what I was told, giving Maura no further reason to be upset. The plumber watched me studying the ring.

"Is that for your...lady friend?" He asked me softly as his eyes darted toward the door making sure Maura hadn't returned to the room yet.

I sighed and nodded my head.

"I am not sure if she will want it now," I said forlornly.

The plumber looked at me sympathetically and then down at the hard wood floors in the bedroom. We were both standing in what must have been a few inches of water. I still didn't understand how all this happened or where Angela suddenly developed the urge to flush things down the toilet, but she couldn't have picked a worse thing to flush nor a worse way to inflame Maura. The toilet itself was barely attached to the pipes anymore; it was just sitting in the middle of the bathroom floor because somehow FT had managed to tear off a section of PVC pipe that connected the toilet to the sewer lines while everyone was running around trying to find things to soak up all the water.

This was insane and I was so exhausted I just wanted to lie down and sleep. But I couldn't do that and leave Angela and FT alone to be strung up by their toes. Maura walked into our bedroom and looked around. Her heels were soaked and made squishy sounds in the ruined oriental carpet. Her pretty new dress was soaking wet. Her hair hung limp and damp over her shoulders and she was definitely upset. I shoved more money in the plumber's hands before Maura could see and gave him a desperate smile before I turned to Maura.

"Baby...I can clean this up. We can rent one of those carpet cleaner things and soak up all this gross water and it will be like new again. Maybe the owners of this place won't notice." I said backing into my dresser and slipping the ring inside behind my back.

Maura looked around the room and then looked back at me incredulously.

"So tell me…what else did Angela flush down the toilet?" Maura asked in a voice of forced calm.

I could tell she was trying not to blow up. I knew she was upset, she had every right to be. Frankly, I was upset too about the situation as I knew she'd be held responsible for the damages, have to replace the ruined carpets and probably have to fumigate to rid the unpleasant smell from the B&B. But I didn't want her to be angry with Angela, Franklin Thomas or me.

"Um…I...well…it was my fault. I accidentally flushed one of those plastic tampon applicators earlier and it must have made everything worse." I lied.

Maura grimaced at me and gave me her best, 'don't push me Jane' look.

"Janie, you had your period last week." She stated coolly. I giggled nervously and tried to wipe the sweat from my brow, but a sharp pain surged through my broken arm and I winced. Maura was next to me in a second. Any annoyance she had was immediately replaced with worry and concern as she held my arm gently in hers.

"Baby, are you in pain?" She asked me gently.

"No," I lied again trying to pull my arm away, but Maura held it firmly.

She arched her eye brows at me in that way that let me know she was in no mood for my denials. I sighed.

"I'll be ok, Maura. Let's just get this all cleaned up before the owners sue the hell outta you." I pleaded with her.

Something came over Maura's face that made me frown. It wasn't a look of anger or despair. She looked at me sweetly, like I'd said something that amused her. She brushed my cheek with the back of her hand and kissed me softly. I was shocked by her action. I didn't understand why she wasn't yelling, screaming or raging like she usually did when she was angry. We were standing in rancid water in a beautiful home that my baby and my puppy wrecked and we'd only been there a little over a day. But Maura was acting like she didn't even see the water or care I was covered in it. She pulled me into her arms and whispered in my ear.

"Go take a shower sweetheart and I'll finish up here with the plumber. There's a crew on their way to clean this up. I'll redo your cast when I'm finished here ok?" She said softly to me.

I stood back and looked at her skeptically. I was looking for signs that I hadn't heard her correctly, that she really was angry, that her sweet soft words were just a front for the plumber. But when I looked in her eyes I saw the same love I saw earlier if not a little more. Maura brushed my hair from my cheek and kissed me softly again and never let me out of her arms. I wanted to believe that she wasn't furious, but I just felt so guilty. The whole house smelled like sewer water and wet dog. I wanted to spend the night kissing Maura and showing her how much better I was in other 'special' ways, but all my hopes had been flushed down the damn toilet. How could she want to make love to me after all that?

"Angela didn't mean to flush the..." I started but quickly closed my mouth. "She's just a little overactive Maura but when I get a job I can pay you back for the mess and..."

"Honey calm down. You're not working anywhere and my money is your money. I'll take care of this. And our sweet, little daughter just needed some discipline that's all." Maura cut me off.

Her voice was gentle and her eyes were kind. She took my hand and led me toward the doorway of the bedroom.

"You didn't hurt her did you?" I said stopping short.

"Consuela is bathing Angela as we speak and she is ok thank goodness. This could have been so much worse." Maura sighed. Then she looked at me sadly.

"I did spank Angela sweetheart. Honey, Angela needed to know that Maddy was seriously unhappy with what she did and hopefully she at least understands not to do this again. She's too young to understand timeouts, groundings or taking things away. At her age, any punishment has to be swift, given at the same time she does something she shouldn't be doing especially when it can harm her. She could have slipped, hurt herself and what would we do then? She just started walking again Jane. I couldn't bare it if she was injured again." Maura sighed.

I felt my eyes go wide, my heart raced and tears formed in my eyes. I knew Angela had to be punished, but I didn't want her to be hurt. She was still a baby, my baby, _our_ baby. I fretted. I folded my arms against my chest and hugged my body tightly but Maura, ever gentle, wrapped me in her arms again.

I hung my head and wiped my eyes. Maura lifted my face to look at hers. Her eyes were sad and heavy.

"I did not harm her baby. She is my _daughter_, I love her completely and unconditionally, but she _needs_ discipline sometimes. She gets into everything. She could have broken her neck crawling out of the crib. All kids need limits. Sometimes even the little small ones whose modus operandi is to search and destroy." Maura smiled looking at me. "It was just a few swats to let her know she can never do this again, but she's fine. She'll forget the whole thing by morning. Don't be sad sweetheart I love her so much and I love you. I know you know that don't you?"

Maura's eyes sought understanding and her voice was soft and gentle. She cradled my face in her hand and smiled again at me. Her eyes just wanted to love me and wanted to know I loved her too, and I did...I always would. I nodded my head that I understood and Maura's smile softened. She kissed me again and all sadness faded away.

"Go take a shower Janie and we'll talk in a little bit," Maura said softly against my lips.

...

I leaned my head against the wall of the shower as the water ran down my face. I knew I was crying softly. I was glad to be alone where no one could see me. I was just so tired. I'd tried so hard to be beautiful for Maura and make her happy but it seemed like every time Maura and I got closer, every time I truly felt she loved me more than anything something would happen and wreck everything. I tried so hard to see her smile and hear her laugh. I tried so hard to show her today that I was healing and that her sacrifices weren't for naught. I bought her the best ring I could find with all the money I had to my name and I wanted to ask her to be my wife. When she kissed me earlier, there were moments that I _wanted_ her in ways we had not been together in a month. For weeks I thought I'd never know that feeling again. For the longest time I didn't think I'd ever see Maura's eyes hunger for me the way they did earlier and when I saw that look in her eyes, all I could think of was the ring in my drawer and the two beautiful words I wanted to say to her and only her 'I do'.

But everything just went all wrong. I understood that Angela was only a baby and Franklin Thomas was only a puppy, but why did they have to pick today to turn this place into shambles? It took me three hours to pick that ring for Maura and I actually thought she might like it. I pondered if the ring be worthy of Maura's finger now? How could she consider marrying me when every time she did something nice for me, my baby and puppy ruined it? I sniffled in the shower. I would have fallen apart in my hopelessness but then I felt Maura's arms wrap around me. I didn't jump. I knew they were her arms. I knew they were her kisses on my shoulder. I knew it was her sigh in my ear. I knew they were her hands on my body and I knew her love when I felt it. Maura wrapped her arms around my waist and I lay my hands over hers. She kissed my back and I shuddered.

"Baby," I whispered.

My voice was broken and breathy. Her touch just did something to me. Whenever she touched me it made me feel...everything. Maura turned me around slowly so I was facing her. My eyes beheld the wonder of her beauty and I was speechless. She pulled me into her and we were kissing again. The filth of the murky toilet water and the anger and frustration from moments earlier washed away down the drain forgotten. I wrapped my arms around her neck and she held me in her arms. I loved the feeling of my breasts against hers and her lips on mine and the strength of her arms. In her arms all thoughts of tears were washed away. I heard her sigh softly in my mouth. I felt her body quiver against mine. I felt her hands touch me so gently and I melted into her. Maura pulled out of the kiss slowly. We stood naked with each other as the water washed over us. She leaned her forehead against mine and smiled at me.

"I'm sorry I messed up your vacation Maura," I said sadly.

Maura rolled her eyes and smiled wider. That glimmer of amusement was in her eyes again.

"You haven't messed up anything honey. I told you I'd always love you...you and our little hellion daughter." Maura chuckled in my ear.

"But the _house_," I said. "It's all...WET and it smells all gross."

Maura sighed.

"You worry too much. Let me worry about that. I told you I've hired people to clean it up." Maura said.

"But Maura all that _water_. You're going to get charged for damages and stuff..."

"...Don't _worry_ about all that Jane. I'll take care of it honey and I'll take care of you." Maura insisted.

"Maura you worry about _everything_..."

"...it's my _job_ to worry but I am not worried about the house I'm worried about you. It's _your_ job to focus on healing, getting better and helping to raise our children and build our life together; but it isn't your job to worry when it is unnecessary to do so."

I looked deeply into her eyes. There was something there like burning sincerity. I knew that look. It was the look that said it would be a waste of time to argue. It was the look that said whatever happened, Maura would handle it. She always handled it. Her eyes held strength, more than I'd ever seen before. I hadn't noticed how much she had changed in these last many weeks until that very moment. I nuzzled my face in her neck and kissed her.

"Oh Janie," Maura gasped.

I smiled. As powerful as Maura was, she was still weak for me. The power I felt flooded my body with heat and lust. It coursed through my veins and settled between my legs and I erupted in desire. So powerful was the feeling it almost frightened me and made me unsteady on my feet. But Maura held me close and whispered in my ear and I sighed in contentment and love.

"We can't sleep in the house tonight honey. We'll have to drive back to the city." Maura said.

I frowned.

"But baby I don't want to leave. I love it here so much." I said sadly.

Maura held my chin in her hand and studied me. She seemed happy for some reason, but still I knew she was right. We couldn't sleep in a house with toilet water backed up in it.

"Honey we can come back whenever you like but we can't sleep in a house that's been soaked in sewage water," Maura laughed.

"But I don't want to leave. Can't we sleep outside? There are tents here; I saw them in a closet downstairs. We can camp out and stuff, build a fire, make hot dogs, make s'mores and roast marshmallows. I'm starving," I said as my stomach grumbled.

No one had gotten to eat dinner amidst the fiasco and my tummy was rumbling.

"My baby's hungry," Maura giggled as her fingers tickled my stomach.

I laughed and squealed and sighed in the kisses she gave me. Maura ran her fingers up and down my body as she considered my request. Her touch made me stir with hunger and anticipation. I rubbed my breasts against hers again and smiled when she gasped and pulled back eying me sternly.

"Baby we can't have Angela around a fire," Maura said.

"But there's a stone fireplace on the other side of the gardens. It's not just a pit in the ground so she can't fall in. Besides, between you, Consuela and me we can take turns holding her. It will be fun baby. Roasted hot dogs. YUM!" I said excitedly.

"Honey...don't you want to sleep in a bed?" Maura insisted.

I sighed and grumbled. I knew it was Maura that really wanted to sleep in a bed. I couldn't care less. I'd slept outside in tents and sleeping bags plenty of times. But I doubted Maura had any idea how to even get inside a sleeping bag. I smiled wickedly.

"Are you scared baby? I'll protect you love." I chuckled playfully at Maura.

Maura just looked at me with a half-smirk, half-grin on her face.

"I'm not scared if you're not scared." She said casually.

"Really? Yaaay, camping!" I said excitedly.

Maura just rolled her eyes, but she kissed me anyway.

**Maura**

Jane lay on top of me kissing me. The ground was hard beneath me but her kisses were soft and gentle and sweet. The night was black. I could hear Consuela's soft snores from her tent next to ours. I knew my baby was sleeping snuggly next to her. I let her sleep with Consuela so Jane and I could continue to talk and be together some. We really needed it after the past month. Franklin Thomas' little feet pattered around the tents outside. I could hear the crickets and the rustling of leaves in the trees as the whisper of wind swept through the branches. The glow of the moon shined through the tent and Jane was beautiful in the soft light of its luminescence. Her hair cascaded over her face and fell in mine. I could taste her on my lips and though I was beneath her I felt like I was walking on clouds. I wrapped her in my arms and savored her warmth. I ran my fingers over her skin and sighed at every kiss she landed on my hungry lips. She moved on top of me, her body kept a rhythm that mine and hers made together and my heart beat in time and my soul swallowed hers. She touched me and I quivered. She kissed me and I moaned. She whispered in my ear and her voice was like a song to me. I kissed her back with the hunger of someone who had spent weeks with nothing more to comfort her than a wish and a prayer that one day she might know this moment. Now, after so long, after so many tears, after so many sleepless nights absent her touch, she was truly kissing me.

Our stomachs were full of hot dogs and s'mores. My mind was calm with wine and I was drunk on the essence of her. I'd never felt so free in all my life. I'd never slept beneath the stars. I'd never had the earth at my back and the true magnificence of the world all around me. I never knew there were such wondrous things outside. I never knew what the world had to offer me, not only in the tangible or visual gifts it gave, but I never knew the world had given life to a soul that was capable of being so close to mine, inside of mine, inside of me. She opened me. She gave me eyes to see, ears to hear and a voice to speak of all the things she taught me. I absorbed every part of her.

Jane's slender body lay atop mine and I wrapped my legs around her waist. She was naked on top of me. Every nerve in my fingers caught fire as my hands ran down her sleek trim body. I lay naked beneath her. I sparked and vibrated with each kiss she landed all over me. I ran my fingers through her hair and whispered sweet words of love to her. I don't know how she got me naked, I don't know when her clothes came off but I loved it, I loved her, and I did not want this moment to end. It felt so good holding her against me and feeling her warm skin. She was mine again, my baby, my princess and forever she would always be. I was moved to so much passion my body arched into hers and lifted her. She moaned at my reaction and ran her hands up my thighs. I felt my legs tremble and stifled an unsteady gasp from escaping my mouth. I wanted her with all that was in me, I _wanted_ her. I'd missed her so much it hurt. My skin was slick with the heat of the night and the heat of Jane's body and my vagina throbbed so badly it was going mad from the sensation.

"I love you so much, Maura." Jane whispered into the darkness.

But there was nothing dark about her words. I heard them loud and clear. They were ablaze with light and my body was ablaze with desire and I started to quiver beneath her. The action was beyond my control. I wanted to be in control and I knew I needed to get under control fast. But I could not control Jane or all the crazy she brought into my life. But somehow I loved her even more for it.

"I love you more sweetheart," I whispered back into the darkness.

I held her face in my hands as she kissed me again. I closed my eyes and I was flying. Her slick body began to move in an all too familiar rhythm on top of mine. She cupped my breasts in her hands and a moan escaped my mouth before I even registered it was happening. She just felt so good on top of me. She felt so good in my arms. My body felt so good in her hands. My hips rose into hers again and she whimpered softly in my ear. She wrapped me in her arms and pulled me up. I straddled her as I sat in her lap and she kissed all the parts of me she loved so much. My head rolled back when she kissed my neck. My breath was unsteady and shaky. My chest heaved. Her kisses were delicate on my breasts like the brushing of a flower petal. She took her time. She savored me. She pulled me into her body and I felt my every cell come alive. I held her loosely just letting my hands lay on her arms softly. My mind knew of her lingering injuries and my touches respected her body without me having to think of it consciously. I knew her, I _knew_ Jane. I breathed her day and night. My mind was never absent the thought of her and it was therefore mindless to touch her without causing her pain. It was mindless to touch her and bring her pleasure; it was mindless to be with her at all. I didn't not have to consider it or my actions, we were one, she was mine...I loved her.

I ran my thumbs over her cheeks as she kissed my breasts again. I kissed the top of her head and smiled as her hair tickled my nose. I shook when she took my nipple in her mouth and started to suck and swirl it with her tongue. That was my wake-up call… oh… Janie… no princess…

"Janie... sweetheart… Not yet baby girl." I whispered as I pulled her back from me gently.

I held her face in mine and stared down at her for long moments. I felt water running over my fingers as I held her face and I knew she was crying. I could not see her face in the darkness but I could see her tears twinkle in the blue light of the moon.

"Please baby. I can make you feel good. I know I can. You don't have to do anything. Just let me try. Please. I _miss_ you Maura. Please do this with me. I'm...I'm better now. I'm not afraid anymore. I want to make you happy." Jane was crying and whispering to me.

"Sweetheart," I said. "Princess"

I tried to wipe her tears with my thumbs but more just came to replace the ones I cleared away. I felt a lump forming in my throat. I didn't want her to hurt. I didn't want her to cry. Lord knows all I wanted in life was to see her smile. I would deny Jane nothing..._nothing_. Yet, I could not do this right now. Even though my entire body screamed for her and only her, even though my heart ached for her, even though my soul touched her soul in that moment, I could not give myself to her in that way, and I could not let her give herself to me. I'd let my desires dictate many things between us in the past out of selfishness and I'd brought her more pain. I knew she was not ready to have sex and I knew if I hurt her again...I would never forgive myself. I tried to kiss her face but Jane pulled away from me.

"Am...Am I not enough for you anymore? Do you not want to make love to me now that I've been...raped?" Jane's tear-drenched voice angrily trailed off.

I heard her weeping softly but deeply. She pulled herself out from under me and wrapped her arms around her knees rocking back and forth. She grabbed a sleeping bag and covered herself. I reached for her, my heart breaking in little pieces but she pushed me away. I reached for her again and she began to slap her hand at me. But I did not stop reaching for her. I fought off her slaps, her curses, her despondent cries and pulled her into me. I wrapped her in my arms and held her as tightly as she could stand. I ran my fingers through her hair as she cried rocking her back and forth. I kissed her cheeks when my lips could find her face. I let her cry, but I did not let go of her. Finally she settled down, her body stilled some and she let me rock her and sing to her softly. She held my hand tightly in hers and I cradled her body in my arms. I sang to her many lullabies from my childhood, old French songs that always brought me comfort. Even though I knew Jane didn't understand the words, I felt her body relax as my soft soprano voice calmed her. I wrapped her in the blanket as I sang and never stopped kissing her every chance I got. Jane leaned her head on my shoulder and I held my beautiful love against my heart. I wiped the last of her tears from her eyes as I began to speak softly to her.

"Baby you know you're beautiful to me, you _know_ that. But you're not all better yet honey and I love you too much to let you do something you're not ready to do. I've pushed you to do things before that you weren't ready to do and...You don't owe me anything love. When you're ready..._really_ ready...I will lay you down in our bed in our house and make love to you honey until you beg me to stop. And I'll do it over and over again for the rest of our lives. But right now Janie, I just want to hold you and love you and be with you and talk to you...I just want you in my arms sweetheart. Can you just let me hold you tonight baby?" I whispered to her.

Jane was quiet for a while. I could feel the rise and fall of her chest as I held her and the motion calmed me. I felt her fingers running up and down my arm as I held her and the touch made my skin tingle. She leaned her head back and our lips met again. Her body arched as I kissed her and I felt her muscles quiver and her voice sigh softly in my mouth. The fire between my legs had still not left. I wanted her so badly it hurt like crazy. But the glow of her skin in the moonlight was so pretty I felt ecstasy without her even having to touch me there. I opened my eyes from the kiss and looked down at her. I could just make out the shadows of her breasts and what happened inside me was unexplainable. I ran my fingers down the middle of her body and Jane's hand wrapped in my hair. She was shaking and moaning softly. I touched as much of her skin as I could. I cradled her breasts in my hands as I kissed her neck. Her body pushed into mine and I felt my thighs moisten as my breasts slid across her back.

"I love when you hold me like this," Jane whispered.

"I love it when you let me hold you like this," I cooed in her ear.

I felt Jane's lips nuzzle against my ear.

"I'm all yours Maura, everything I am and all that I have is all yours." Her voice was shaky and breathless in my ear and I kissed her.

I felt all the ways her words were true in that kiss. I felt all the ways she loved me and all the ways she still wanted me. Even after all that she had suffered through; I knew she would give herself to me if I asked. And even if it hurt her, even if it caused her pain she would neither cry nor complain. She would surrender to me because she loved me and the knowledge brought tears to my eyes. One day soon I would make love to her again, but not before I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that when I did so she came to me as a complete woman that loved herself as much as I loved her and until then I was content to just hold her. I rocked Jane in my arms and talked of many things. She made shadow puppets in the moon light and laughed when I guessed them all wrong. I tried to tell her a ghost story and she laughed and told me how lame it was. We kissed and giggled and tickled each other and she forgot her tears and she forgot her fears and her laughter was all I'd always dreamed it to be.

"I wish we could live here, it's so pretty here. It reminds me of summer vacation with my family. I was so happy then. Can we come here every summer? I want Angela to love the outdoors like I do and have space to play and Tommy too. I don't think Tommy will like the city; he's lived on a farm his whole life. I think he'd love it here." Jane whispered softly as I held her.

My heart skipped a beat. I lifted her chin to look at me even though we couldn't see each other clearly. But I knew by the tone of her voice she was telling the truth. I smiled from ear to ear. It truly felt like I was dancing on a cloud. Jane was happy here, she loved it here, I was right...I'd found a place where we could be a family and Jane wouldn't hurt anymore. I was so happy in that moment I felt tears streaming from my eyes.

"You really like it here baby girl?" I asked her hopefully.

"Yeah." Jane giggled. "Well minus the flood in there and the weird old people furniture and I think that Oriental carpet needed to be wrecked. Angela did it a favor."

I chuckled to myself.

"As soon as the water is cleaned up, the floors are dried and the toilet is fixed you can start redecorating your new home." I whispered to her.

"What new home?" Jane asked confused.

"This one honey...this house is your new home, _our_ new home." I reiterated.

"What?" Jane said.

"Yes honey, this house...it's ours."

"What do you mean?"

I rolled my eyes.

"Honey I mean I bought it for our family...the house...the bed and breakfast...it's ours."

"You mean _this_ house?"

"YES Jane...this one...the whole farm...everything...it's _ours_... those damn ducks are yours and FT's though."

"How did you...when did you...how come you...oh my GOD." Jane exclaimed.

I just knew an argument was coming. I steeled myself. I gritted my teeth for the inevitable wave of protest from Jane, but as I opened my mouth to state my case my lips were covered with hers. I was shocked at first, but before I could even focus my mind I was on my back and Jane's body was over mine. I was lost in her again. The love we made that night was nothing more than the sweetest of kisses and the softest of touches. The ecstasy she gave me and the tears that streamed from my eyes did not come from her fingers inside of me or mine inside of her. We rolled in each other's arms; we covered each other's bodies with our own and moaned softly in each other's ears. We kissed so passionately I cried. She touched me so gently, but each action carried the weight of so much love and so much desire that it moved all of me. My pleasure came when she was on top of me again and when her breathless moans rose to meet mine I knew we had reached a place together that we did not know existed. We had not had sex, but she lay spent on top of me and I lay shaking beneath her. She cried herself to sleep that night in my arms. But I knew they were tears of joy. I ran my hands through her hair as she wept and tears streamed down my face. I lay awake all night long after she had fallen asleep on top of me. I cradled her in my arms and whispered all the promises and dreams I had in my heart for her and our family. I prayed I would have many, many nights like this with Jane in my arms in our home and that we would remain in love with each other forever this way. When the first rays of sunlight crept into the tent I finally fell asleep beneath her. And when I dreamed, she was my wife and I was hers, and we were one. Healed, whole and happy.

When we woke up a few hours later, Little Miss Hellion was ripping the door to the tent open yelling something that sounded suspiciously like 'shit'. Angela crawled inside the tent and fell on top of Jane an I. Angela kept saying 'shit' and I told Angela not to say that but Jane couldn't stop laughing. I swatted Jane's butt and looked at her admonishingly and she just grinned and kissed me as Angela giggled and kicked her little feet next to us. Angela had heard the word from all of us last night repeatedly during the plumbing disaster. All of a sudden Jane and I realized at the same time why Angela was saying that word. An unpleasant smell filled the tent. Jane rolled off of me choking and gagging. My eyes went wide. I grabbed Angela to look at the bottom of her shoes and cried out in dismay when I realized she had dog crap all over the bottoms of her tiny sneakers. The last pair she had left!

"OH GOD!" I wailed.

Angela giggled, Jane kept laughing between gagging and coughing. I was beside myself. I pulled off Angela's shoes and tried to crawl out of the tent but my hand landed in a fresh pile of dog poo just outside the tent door and I almost exploded in fury. I caught site of FT a few feet away with his tongue hanging out of his mouth and his tail wagging excitedly. I narrowed my eyes at him as I reached into the tent for a magazine to roll up.

"Come here you." I hissed at him.


	33. Lost and Found

**A/N: I must thank my beta Mrj726 for once again working so hard on this insanely long chapter, you're the best MJ thanks for putting up with all my crazy and believing in me. I'd like to thank my readers, you guys make the long nights and the manic tears worth while. This one is SUPER long and a whole lot happens. It ends with a cliff hanger you might not like but don't worry, we aren't getting back into any deep dark stuff so try not to get angry with me. I hope you all enjoy this chapter...it was sooo much fun to write even though it drove me crazy. And with all that being said...here we go.**

**James**

"Are you ready buddy?" I asked Tommy Rizzoli who was sitting next to me in the back of the limo.

He looked up at me seeming nervous but hopeful and nodding his little head. He'd been quietly fidgeting the entire ride. He clutched an old paper bag against him tightly. In that bag was everything he owned in the world. He had three shirts, two pair of pants, two pair of shorts, a comb, and a tooth brush that needed replacing badly. That little black comb would not be able to groom his dark, curly hair. There was toothpaste with very little paste left, two dingy pairs of socks with holes and the shoes on his feet. The shirt he was wearing was stained everywhere and far too big for him, hanging off his shoulders loosely. I suspected the shoes on his feet were too small because he walked awkwardly, and he winced if he went too fast. His baggy pants were far too big, being held up by a cracked, worn out old belt that was way too big, and as such the ends were tied instead of buckled. His hair hadn't been cut or washed properly in ages, and his fingernails were far too long. He did not look like he was properly bathed in quite a while. He had been 'living' with the foster family from hell by the looks of it. But when he smiled at me, he looked so much like Jane and little Angela. Even though he was a little jumpy and anxious, I could see eagerness in his eyes. They twinkled like Jane's eyes did when she was happy or being playful. He had a mischievous grin just like Angela, and his hair hung in loose, dark curls all over the place just like the rest of the Rizzoli clan. I leaned over and mussed his hair. He bent his head down and giggled sweetly. His face was gentle; his manners were careful and almost feminine. He was so small for his 6 years; I wondered how well he'd been eating his whole life. Earlier we stopped at a McDonald's. When we walked inside his eyes went wide but he seemed frightened. He held my hand tightly with both his little hands, and wouldn't let go. I held his hands snugly and smiled down at him encouragingly. When I asked him what he wanted, he looked at me like he didn't understand what I was saying. I finally settled on buying him a happy meal and we sat down to eat. Tommy just stared at his food.

"Aren't you hungry, Tommy?" I asked him.

Tommy looked curiously at my own sons tearing into their cheeseburgers and fries.

"Is this all for me?" He asked me softly.

"Of course Tommy, it's all yours," I told him. He was adorable but I was becomingly increasingly worried about the little guy. What kid doesn't rip into a Happy Meal?

Yes, I was growing more and more concerned with the state of the child. He was _very_, very thin, awkward and nervous all the time. I thought of Jane, Maura and the noisy chaos their household fell into in a instant sometimes. The insanity of their house was usually funny and good-natured, but an anxious child might have a hard time getting used to it. On the other hand, I was neither a psychologist nor a pediatrician. I figured I'd leave it to Maura and Jane to get the boy settled in. I just prayed this visit didn't prove too much for Tommy or Jane.

I hadn't seen or spoken to Jane except one time since Maura whisked her away from the hospital in Boston in the middle of the night. Maura wouldn't even let me talk to her on the phone. To my knowledge, Maura wouldn't let _anyone_ talk to Jane. Maura had an iron veil around Jane and did not allow anyone around Jane that wasn't immediate family and a female. Maura assured me Jane was healing each time we spoke over the last couple of weeks. Maura herself seemed less sad and more life was in her voice. I took comfort that Maura seemed to sound better. The entire first week after Maura took Jane back to New York she sounded almost lifeless. Anytime we spoke it was as though I was speaking to nothing more than a shadow. When I asked after Jane she would avoid my questions, and sometimes she would even get angry and hang up on me. I was so worried about them both, I rarely slept. The image of Jane on the floor in that night club haunted my mind when I closed my eyes at night.

When I found Jane on the floor in that dirty place beaten and broken...I felt crushed. Just thinking about it made me want to punch something. I was never absent the painful memory of that night. Every time I closed my eyes I saw her face covered in blood. Every time I drew a breath it felt like my chest would cave in under the weight of my guilt. I'd fought so hard..._so_ hard to get to her. But I felt I failed both Jane and Maura, and the guilt still ate at me.

I sighed when I thought of Jane. I just wanted to see her face and see for myself she was ok. But Maura adamantly demanded I stay in Boston and get custody of Tommy. Tommy's foster family put up more of a fight than I thought they would. My guess was they hated losing cheap labor. But the name Rizzoli was now well known in Boston. Jane was a hero just as the detectives predicted. No matter how hard those foster assholes fought, they could not deny Tommy's DNA. He was a Rizzoli and he belonged with his family. When the judge handed down his orders yesterday I'd leapt for joy. I hoped maybe if I could just get Tommy to Jane, maybe she would forgive me for failing her. When I called Maura yesterday morning and told her the judge approved the visit this weekend Maura actually dropped the phone. When she finally came back on the line she was agitated and hysterical, babbling and stuttering so much she could barely form a sentence. That's when Jane's voice picked up on the line.

"_Hello?" I heard Jane's voice. _

_My heart skipped a beat in my chest. I was so stunned and happy to hear her voice after a month, I nearly dropped my coffee. _

_"Jane!" I exclaimed. _

_"James!" She said excitedly. "What's going on bud?"_

_My heart was racing a mile a minute. I wanted to ask her so many things. I wanted to beg her forgiveness for not saving her. I wanted to reach through the phone and wrap her in my arms and tell her how happy I was to talk to her. I'd been depressed for so long that she would never be the same Jane again after..._

_But when I heard her voice she sounded cheerful, even glad to hear from me, and I felt myself goofily grinning like an idiot. _

_"I'm good Jane, how are you?" I asked her, careful to curb my elation at the sound of her voice. _

_I didn't want to sound overtly inquisitive by the question and lead her to believe I was bringing up what happened at the club. I knew Maura would kill me if I did. But I just had to know if she was ok. _

_"I'm great James. Maura bought a house for us and it's ENORMOUS! It's an equestrian estate. It's got horses, ducks, a pond and all kinds of stuff. We rode horses most of the day yesterday. Oh, Angela's finally walking pretty good and she talks sometimes...mostly bad words...but still she's talking again. That's all that matters. It's so pretty and quiet here James. You should come out here and hang out with me sometime, I need somebody to do stuff with outside." Jane started whispering in the phone._

_She was talking a mile a minute and she sounded so cheerful. I couldn't stop smiling. I couldn't believe how good she sounded. _

_"Maura can't swim James, I had to save her ass from drowning in the pond. She almost knocked me out with a pole when we were setting up tents the other day, AND she wacked me with the bat so hard I thought she broke my leg when I tried to teach her to play baseball." Jane giggled and I laughed. "At least she can ride horses though, she taught me how. You gotta come out here. Bring your boys and Molly."_

_So Maura bought a house. She said she was looking, but I didn't think she'd move so fast. Maura took her promise to take care of her family to heart. The excitement in Jane's voice reflected how hard Maura worked over the past month to bring happiness into their lives as a couple again. She sounded so good. All my fears that Jane was never going to recover slowly faded away. _

_"Actually, I'll be seeing you really soon that's why I'm calling. I've made some magic happen with the courts and they're granting you and Maura a visit with Tommy in New York. I'm bringing him to you tomorrow for a few days." I said. _

_There was silence on the line. I thought Jane had hung up for a minute. _

_"Hello, Jane?" I said curiously. _

_"Are you serious James? Tommy's coming here tomorrow? Oh my God... Oh my GOD!" Jane exclaimed. _

_I heard the phone drop again and Jane's shouts of delight. _

_"Maura...Maura he's coming...TOMORROW...he's coming, my nephew, your son...our son...he's coming!" Jane was shouting. _

_"I know baby...I know. We have so much to do. We have to go to the city and buy all the things he needs. I need to call Albert to decorate a room for him. I need to call the dean of the prep school, I need to find out what he likes to eat, I need to call Addison for a referral to a good pediatrician, I need to buy him books, and toys, and clothes and..."_

_Maura started to sound like she was panicking. _

_"Maura calm down angel," I heard Jane say concernedly. "Stop breathing like that... sit down...sit down baby Jesus Christ! Why do you always get like this honey? GOOD GRIEF. I need you to calm down; you're freaking me out! He's only going to be here a few days this time. We've still got time to figure all that out...baby calm down. Gosh you're all sweaty here, drink this water baby." _

_I rolled my eyes and smirked. It sounded like things were indeed back to normal in the Rizzoli-Isles household. I could see Maura panicking in my head and Jane looking at her like she was scared she was going to pass out. _

_"Hello...hello?" I said into the line. _

_Finally Jane picked up again. _

_"James...Maura's being all crazy. I gotta get her to calm down and maybe give her something before she breaks out in hives and shit. You know how she gets. What time are you guys gonna be here? Is Tommy ok? Is he healthy and stuff?" Jane asked curiously. _

_"Tommy is ok," was all I told her about him. I didn't want her to worry; she had enough to deal with since it seemed Maura was spinning in circles. _

_"We'll be there tomorrow around three in the afternoon," I said. _

_"Awesome... Yaaay! James you're the best. I'll see you tomorrow at three," Jane said breathlessly. _

_"Oh my God. That's only thirty hours from now...Oh my God!" I heard Maura panicking in the background again. _

_Jane sighed. _

_"James I gotta go,"she said. _

_"Of course, see ya tomorrow," I said and hung up. _

Last night I slept the whole night through for the first time since that horrible club incident and it felt like heaven. When I dreamed last night, they weren't nightmares. I dreamed of my family in the sunlight playing. I dreamed of happy thoughts from all walks of life. I even dreamed of Jane and Maura and little Angela. They were laughing and smiling. It was a welcome relief to the terrible nights I'd been plagued with the past month. When I picked Tommy up from the foster farm this morning all he had was his one bag and a very nervous smile on his face. His foster parents were less than friendly with me and basically ignored Tommy. They didn't even say goodbye to him or anything. The foster father sneered at him menacingly and the mother just turned up her nose at him. Tommy looked terrified of them and I felt him shaking next to me. I hustled Tommy away from that place as quickly as I could. I didn't know how much of that encounter to tell Jane or Maura. I wasn't even sure exactly what was going on with those foster givers and Tommy wouldn't talk about it. Whatever was happening it wasn't something I could tell Jane or Maura over the phone. Maura wouldn't want me upsetting Jane and Maura had also become extremely protective of her family. I knew how she felt. I understood what it was to be a father, bread winner, and have your whole family's safety and security fall to you. Even so I didn't want to work Maura up into storm of anger unnecessarily. Maybe Tommy was just a nervous kid and those foster people were just angry they were losing free labor out of him.

I looked over at Tommy sitting next to me in the limo again. He was clutching his little Batman action figure. The little toy was old and worn looking. It was missing one of its feet and half an arm but Tommy held on to it for dear life. I think it was his only toy. It was heartbreaking seeing him cling to the thing, and it hurt me to think of what his life was like to this point. But I knew his life was about to change once he was with Maura and Jane permanently. He may have been treated as just another mouth to feed and an extra pair of hands to work on that damn foster farm in the past but that bullshit was over as far as I was concerned. Tommy may not know what love felt like, or true happiness, or a real family but he would know now. I knew he was about to step into a world he never even dreamed possible. He was a little prince, at least that's the way I knew Jane and Maura would see him and treat him. I knew this was the last time I'd ever see him in old, frumpy clothes, too small shoes, and uncut hair.

"Is my aunt nice?" Tommy asked me in his soft voice.

"Yeah buddy, she's very nice. You'll like her and her girlfriend Maura." I said patting Tommy's leg.

Tommy looked up at me inquisitively.

"My aunt has a girlfriend?"

Tommy looked a little confused. I chuckled.

"Yes Tommy your aunt has a wonderful, kind and loving girlfriend. She's a very lovely lady just like your aunt. They are both looking forward to meeting you and they're going to take very good care of you." I said.

"What if they don't like me?" Tommy looked really scared. "Nobody likes me. No one ever likes me James."

He hung his head and I could see tears running down his little cheeks. My heart broke. I wrapped my arm around him and pulled his body into mine. I cringed when I felt just how frail and thin he really was.

"Let me tell you something Tommy and this is a promise. I don't make promises lightly. I know for a _fact_ that your Aunt Jane and your Aunt Maura love you more than you'll ever know already and they're only going to love you more and more every day for the rest of your life. They can't wait to meet you. I bet they're staring at the clock right now counting down the seconds until you're in their arms. When you get to your new house you'll see for yourself just how lucky you are. Today is the first day of the rest of your life and it's about to change forever. Also Tommy I just want you to know that from the first day I met you I really liked you. I think you're a pretty cool kid and your Aunts will think so too. I am happy that you will finally get to be with your family." I said hugging him as I spoke.

Tommy looked up at me with his big brown eyes so much like Jane's and I could tell he really wanted to believe me. I brushed his tears from his face and kissed the top of his head.

"You don't have to be afraid anymore Tommy, trust me." I said.

The limo turned onto the driveway of Jane and Maura's house. I was stunned by the house and grounds. Striking was the only way to describe the estate. Tommy's eyes went as wide as saucers and he plastered his face and hands against the window.

"WOW!" He exclaimed.

"Yeah _wow_," I said to myself.

The grounds of the house were absolutely stunning. I couldn't believe Maura actually bought this place. I can't imagine all the zeros that came on the price tag for this estate. I knew Maura wrote the check though with a smile on her face because it was for her family. When we pulled up to the house my jaw dropped. The place looked like a castle with towering columns, three stories, and the beautiful grey stone architecture.

"Holy shit," I said before I remembered Maura's six year old son was sitting next to me.

"Holy shit." Tommy repeated still staring at the house with his nose pressed up against the window.

"James, is this where my aunts live?" He asked looking back at me curiously.

"Yeah buddy, this will be your new home," I smiled at him. "Oh and Tommy, you might not want to say shit around your aunts," I added as an afterthought.

He grinned at me mischievously. I saw even more of Jane in his face right at that moment.

"They really want me to live _here_?"

"Yeah man...I told ya. It's your lucky day." I said opening the limo door and grabbing his bag for him.

My wife Molly and my children pulled up behind us in her rental car. I could see she was staring at the house in wonder too. I turned and waved to her then I took Tommy's hand leading him up the pathway to the front door. Before I even had a chance to knock, the door was flung wide open and Jane was in my arms. She hugged me so hard I almost lost my breath. I dropped Tommy's bag trying to keep my balance.

"JAMES!" Jane squealed.

I hugged her back tightly. I lifted her from her feet and twirled her around in a circle before I put her down and held her out so I could look at her. I felt myself smile from ear to ear.

"Jane you look _great_!" I exclaimed.

Jane's face was beaming. Her scars and bruises were almost all gone. She only had a small brace on her arm. She was wearing knee length plaid shorts, a black tank top, cute sneakers, and she looked happy with her glowing smile. I felt tears in my eyes. I was so happy to see her, and grateful she looked like the old Jane. She looked better than the old Jane actually. She was practically bouncing on her toes in excitement.

"Hey, don't cry James," Jane said suddenly.

I didn't realize I was even crying. I couldn't stop crying even if I tried. I didn't have very many friends. I really only had my family, a few colleagues and Maura, my only real client. But in the short time I'd known Jane, I considered her to be a great friend. When I saw what happened to her...it was one of the worst feelings I'd ever had. But in this moment I was so relieved to see her doing so well after being scared she'd be broken forever. The tears just wouldn't stop coming. Jane's face went slack and worried. She looked sad all of a sudden. She wiped the tears from my eyes with her fingers and pulled me into a hug again. I cried softly into her hair.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't get to you Jane," I whispered in her ear.

I felt her body tense for a moment. Then I felt her hand pat my back gently.

"I know you tried James. Maura told me how hard you tried. I don't blame you James. You need to know that I'm ok now. You're my good friend James. Please don't cry...don't cry James...it's ok now...don't cry," Jane said softly.

I closed my eyes as I held her. My heart was bursting with so many emotions it was hard to identify just one. Her smile was so good to see it overshadowed what few lingering injuries she had. When she said she didn't blame me I was overcome. No matter what she said, I would always blame myself but hearing her say she didn't blame me…somehow...it made me feel better. I heard the clicking of heels and opened my eyes. Maura appeared in the doorway next to Jane holding Angela. Maura smiled at me as she rubbed her hand over Angela's back. Jane pulled out of the hug and punched me in the shoulder.

"Now stop whimpering you big crybaby and introduce me to this little guy," Jane said laughingly as she winked at me.

I looked back at Tommy. He was standing five steps behind me on the porch clutching his bag to his chest and holding his little action figure tightly in his hand. His eyes were wide and nervous. He was looking between me, Maura, and Jane curiously. Jane's face lit up when she saw him. Her own eyes were shining with tears now. I smiled at Maura and she gave me a slightly nervous smile of her own. I could tell she was doing her best to hold it together, but I knew how anxious she must have been. I could see it in her eyes. I could only imagine what she'd been putting herself through the last day trying to make everything perfect for Tommy. I knew she was praying in that moment that her son would love his new home, and feel welcome and comfortable enough to get to know his family. I'd never seen Maura look more blissful holding her daughter as she stood next to her girlfriend with her arm protectively around Jane's waist offering encouragement and love. I knew in that moment all Maura wanted was her family to be safe, happy and to see that all her efforts to provide for them were more than enough. Maura almost glowed from the inside out. When she looked at Tommy I saw her breath catch in her chest. Her smile was sweet and loving as she studied him. Tears were streaming from Jane's eyes.

"Hey buddy, come meet your Aunt Jane and Aunt Maura." I encouraged him.

Tommy took two timid steps forward and looked self-consciously up at Jane.

"Are you my Aunt Jane?" He asked softly.

"Yeah buddy I am." Jane said behind the tears in her eyes.

She kneeled down so she was eye level with the little boy.

"You look so much like your father." Jane whispered.

Tommy just shuffled awkwardly. He held the action figure against his chest; his eyes were uncertain and afraid. Jane was not put off by his apprehension though. She smiled at him with the same sparkle in her eyes as I saw in my wife's eyes when she smiled at our children.

"Is that you're friend there? He looks pretty awesome. You like Batman huh?" Jane asked Tommy pointing to his action figure.

Tommy nodded slightly. He seemed to be distracted from his nervousness a little now that the conversation was about his favorite super hero. His brown eyes seemed calmer and excited at the same time. His face split into a Rizzoli grin and he looked so much like Jane and Angela in that moment.

"One day I'm gonna fly like Batman," Tommy said excitedly. "I'm gonna fly away and nobody can hurt me cause I'll be big, strong and brave and people will like me," He said.

Tommy started running all around the porch with his arms out making airplane noises and saying fly, fly fly. Everyone watched him play. I saw Jane wipe a tear from her eye. She watched Tommy like there was nothing else in the world she cared to see except his sweet innocence.

"Fwy Maddy...Fwy!" Angela squealed and squirmed in Maura's arms wanting to be let down.

We all looked at Angela and laughed. She was holding out her arms like Tommy mimicking his movements and squealing with laughter. Angela had Oreo cookies in both of her hands and chocolate on her grinning face. She was absolutely adorable.

"You want to fly too baby girl?" Maura said putting Angela down on the porch.

Angela took off after her cousin. When she caught up to Tommy she just stopped, shoved a cookie in her mouth and kicked Tommy in the shin three times, hard.

"Fwy... fwy!" Angela laughed.

Tommy looked devastated that Angela had kicked him. His face fell and there were tears in his eyes that he tried to wipe away before anyone could see but they were coming too fast for him to stop them. He looked down. But we all saw. Jane started to reach for Angela but Maura got to her first. Maura's face was no nonsense. She held Angela firmly by her shoulders in front of Tommy.

"Angela NO. We do NOT kick. That's very bad Angela. NO kicking." Maura pointed to Angela's feet making sure that Angela looked down." This is your brother and you will be _nice_ to him." Maura swatted the back of Angela's hand several times and repeated _'no kicking'_ again.

Angela wiggled around and tried to get away but she didn't cry. She scrunched up her face in a pout and threw her other cookie on the porch in a huff. Angela screamed and wailed in a tantrum flailing her little arms around. She reminded me of my younger son when he was her age.

"No Maddy..._NO_ Maddy," Angela said pulling away from Maura and running back in the house before anyone could grab her.

Maura just sighed and shook her head. She got up and walked back inside to find her daughter. Tommy looked terrified. He took two steps back from everyone his eyes bright and frightened.

"She kicked me. She hates me." Tommy was crying softly and shaking. He was moving around on the porch not sure what to do.

"Oh honey," Jane said approaching Tommy again.

"Angela's just a baby Tommy. She doesn't think before she acts. You'll see. She'll get to know you and you guys will be friends but don't think that she doesn't like you. You're her big brother. Unfortunately, Angela thinks kicking and cursing is funny but we're working on it. If she hurts you again I need you to tell me baby and Maura and I will handle it. But Tommy _I_ like you and I love you _very_ much." Jane smiled at Tommy, but the boy just hung his head.

"Nobody ever likes me," He said softly.

Jane looked like she wanted to cry. She reached behind her back and pulled out something tucked in the back of her shorts I hadn't noticed before. She handed it to her nephew with a hopeful smile on her face. Tommy took the comic book and his jaw dropped.

"I got this for you this morning. It's Batman just like you like." Jane smiled at her nephew.

Tommy's eyes could not have been wider. He thumbed through the pages and gasped at every drawing. He looked absolutely thrilled. Jane reached up and ran her fingers through his hair to brush it from his eyes. Her hand was unsteady I noticed as she touched him.

"Is this really for me?" He asked Jane disbelievingly.

"Yeah buddy, it's just for you. I have a whole collection of Batman comics that used to belong to your father. They're all yours now Tommy. Your father would have wanted you to have them," Jane sighed.

Her eyes lowered for a moment and for a split second she looked incredibly sad. But before she had time to dwell on thoughts of her brother, Tommy ran into her arms. Jane was shocked at first. Then I saw her smile. She wrapped him up in her embrace. She stood and held him tightly rocking him in her arms. Maura appeared in the door way again and looked at me curiously when she saw Jane holding her son. I just smiled. Maura looked over at Jane and Tommy and I heard her unsteady sigh of relief and the sob that caught in her throat.

"Thank you Aunt Janie, this is the best present I ever got! Will you read it to me?" Tommy asked as he hugged his aunt.

"Of course baby. I'll do anything for you." Jane whispered as tears started running down her face again.

Jane's voice was so choked up and unsteady it broke my heart. Tears streamed down her face as she hugged her son against her as tightly as she could. I felt tears in my own eyes again. I looked over at Maura and her eyes were so red, I knew it wouldn't be long before she too was overwhelmed with emotion. Tommy wrapped his arms around Jane's neck. I couldn't see his face; his head was buried in Jane's hair. But for the first time since I met him I saw his body relax. Jane kissed his shaggy head over and over. She closed her eyes and rocked him side to side. I could see so many emotions on her face. Her tears dotted the little boys baggy shirt but she made no attempts to wipe them away. He was the last surviving memory of a family she had lost long ago. He was the face of so many of her dreams that had been shattered. He was all the love she had in her heart for her brothers and her mother. She cradled the back of his head and her hand was shaking. I knew she was remembering her brothers. I knew she could see their faces when she looked at him. I knew she was thinking of her mother. She was remembering how much she missed them but as she held her nephew...her son...her world was being reborn. In her eyes the boy was a second chance, the last tie to a world she knew no more. Pieces of her heart that had been shattered and lost like dust in the wind were found again. She kissed him again like he was precious to her, he _was_ precious to her. He was her son...and she would never let him go.

Molly approached the porch with my daughter in her arms and my sons trailing behind. She stopped short when she saw the scene playing out in front of her. I caught her eye and smiled at her. She smiled back at me sweetly. I loved my wife and my children more than anything in the world and I knew as I looked at Maura she felt everything in her heart for Jane, Tommy and Angela as I did for my family. The smile Maura gave me was one of pride, the pride of a father or mother for her family. She whispered something in Jane's ear and Jane turned around and walked inside never letting go of her son. I followed them inside with Molly and our sons. I felt like I had managed something truly meaningful and I felt just a little bit less awful about myself.

...

"Oh Dios Mio, such a handsome boy," Consuela said slipping Tommy a piece of chocolate.

Tommy looked at the Reese's Peanut Butter cup like it was gold.

"Is this all for me?" He asked Consuela with those big excited brown eyes of his.

Consuela chuckled.

"Yes of course it all yours. I make you something good. What you like to eat?" Consuela said.

Tommy gobbled down the chocolate in three seconds flat. We all looked at him curiously as he made the candy disappear like magic in an instant.

"Good _heavens_ child." Consuela exclaimed. "When last time you _eat_ something?"

Tommy looked around.

"Who are you?" Tommy asked.

Maura was leaning against the back of the couch with Jane in her arms. Maura couldn't stop smiling and Jane couldn't stop staring at her nephew misty eyed and beaming like all her dreams had come true. My boys were off somewhere outside with that evil horrible testicle biting rat dog and Molly was sitting next to me in a very large leather love seat. Maura had put my daughter down for a nap in Angela's playpen and all the focus in the house was on little Tommy.

"I da cook and da nanny. You call me Miss Connie. I feed you and make you big and strong. You stick like Auntie Jane. Anything you want to eat you ask Miss Connie and I cook for you." Consuela said swelling with pride.

Tommy looked confused when Consuela told him he could have anything he wanted to eat. I could see Maura studying him closely. I could tell his state of dress and his thin body was not lost on her. Jane didn't seem to notice, and if she did she was doing a great job of hiding it behind her smile that wouldn't leave her face and all the love in her eyes for the boy.

"If you need anything else Tommy tell your Aunt Jane or me and we'll get it for you sweetheart," Maura smiled at Tommy sweetly.

Tommy looked at her in awe.

"Wow. You're really _really_ pretty aunt Maura," Tommy said.

Maura looked like she would cry. Her chin quivered and she blushed profusely. Jane looked back at her and kissed her deeply. Their eyes closed when their lips met. Their kiss lingered and they were whispering to each other. Two tears fell from one of Maura's eyes. I felt my face flush and turned my head. I was pretty sure whatever moment they were having and whatever they were saying to one another was some beautiful thing meant only for the other. They looked so in love it was almost sickening.

"Thank you Tommy," Maura said as she released Jane from her arms.

Maura picked up her son and tickled him mercilessly.

"You're very handsome yourself," Maura laughed as she played with Tommy.

Tommy fell into a fit of laughs and giggles. His hair flew everywhere, his skinny legs and arms flailed around as Maura held him and tickled his little body.

"You like that little guy?" Maura teased him.

"Aunt Maura...A-A-Aunt M-M-Maura it tickles...it _tickles_," Tommy squealed.

Jane looked like she was in a dream as she watched Maura and Tommy play. I heard her sigh softly to herself from time to time. Her eyes looked distant and hazy. She swallowed many times to hold in whatever emotions she was feeling. Finally Maura threw her son over her shoulder and ran up the stairs with him. Tommy giggled the entire way. Jane pulled me to my feet when they left and hugged me again.

"Thank you _so_ much James. You have no idea how much this means to me. I love him so much...God I _love_ him." Jane said in a voice shaky with emotion.

I patted her back and smiled over her shoulder.

"I know you do kiddo. I know you do. Now go, go be with your family. Molly and I have a long drive back to the city and it's getting late."

Jane pulled out of my arms and looked at me. She had a frown on her face.

"Nonsense. You'll stay here tonight. There's more than enough room and I know you've been driving all day. We'll have dinner, pop some champagne and celebrate. We all deserve a little celebrating don't you think?" Jane said.

I smiled at Jane. She was growing into her role as Maura's right hand better than I ever thought she would. I never saw Jane as becoming the gracious hostess, but it fit her well.

"What do you think baby?" I asked Molly.

"We don't want to impose," Molly said meekly.

"Oh don't be silly. It's no imposition. You and James have been through a lot on my family's behalf, it's the very least we can do. Let's make a party of it." Jane smiled at Molly.

Molly smiled back.

"It has been a long day, the boys are tired of being in the car and Juliet is sleeping. Perhaps we should stay the night." Molly said.

"Excellent," Jane said cheerily. "Consuela pour them drinks and make them comfortable. I'll be back," Jane said disappearing up the stairs.

I had indeed done a good thing today.

...

**Maura**

I set Tommy down on his feet in his room. He gasped and jumped when he saw it. His big beautiful eyes so much like Jane and Angela's went wide in wonder. He spun in circles trying to look at everything at once. His jaw hung open as he gazed at the walls and the bed shaped like the Batmobile. He stared at his bookshelves full of books, his drawers full of clothes, and his chests full of brand new toys. I smiled widely as I watched him take it all in. He looked amazed, he reminded me of Jane the first night I met her as we walked through the gardens on the roof of my hotel. His expression was the same as hers had been. I studied him closely. He was so small and almost frail looking. His clothes were way too big for him, his shoes seemed too small. I could even hear his belly rumbling from time to time. He needed a check-up. His long curly hair was shaggy and hung in his eyes. Compared to James' boys, who were just slightly younger than him, he was tiny. His movements were slow and careful. His voice was high and soft. His gestures were gentle, his words were sweet, and he was beautiful to me. He was my son, my _son_, and I loved him.

"Do you like your room, Tommy?" I asked him after a while.

He turned to me with his big bright eyes.

"Where's all the other boys sleeping?" He asked me softly.

I smiled at him.

"You're the only boy honey. Your baby cousin Angela has her own room. But this one is yours, just yours sweetie." I said.

Tommy's eyes got even bigger, like pretty brown saucers. He was so precious as he stood there holding his little beat up action figure.

"All of it?" He asked me like he couldn't quite comprehend what I was saying was true.

"Yes baby boy. The whole room and everything in it is yours. How about I give you a bath and you can change before dinner? You can try on some of your new clothes." I asked him as I ruffled his shaggy hair.

He giggled and took my hand. He held my fingers in his little hands and smiled at me.

"I brought my own clothes, Aunt Maura." He said in his high soft voice.

"Well that's good but let's see if we can't find you something special to wear." I said sweeping him into my arms and sitting him on his bed.

I rummaged through his drawers and pulled out a Batman t-shirt. His eyes lit up when I held it up for him to see.

"WOW," He said excitedly.

I smiled at him. I pulled out a pair of shorts, batman underpants and little Batman sneakers; all things Jane had picked out for him. Tommy was practically giddy with excitement.

"I can wear all those? They look new." He said.

"They are honey. They're just for you." I said handing him the shirt.

"I've never had new stuff before. They even smell good," He said holding the shirt up to his face and sniffing deeply.

He lay back on the bed and let the shirt cover his face. He stretched out his arms and I heard him sigh. I lay next to him on his bed and propped my head on my hand as I watched him. I patted his tummy and he giggled.

"Your Aunt Jane and I have a lot of new things for you honey. We want you to be happy here," I said.

Tommy pulled the shirt off his face and looked at me.

"I like it here already Aunt Maura," He said in his little sweet voice.

He was so cute I kissed his cheeks and tickled his tummy. He squirmed and giggled and kicked his feet. I fell in love with him even more. I stood and showed him his new shoes. Tommy looked at the shoes and his face split in a grin I'd seen on Jane and Angela's face a hundred times before. He started tearing at his shoe laces trying to get them off his feet. In his excitement he fell off the bed and landed with a thud on the floor. He yelped in pain when he landed on his back.

"Oh sweetheart. Be careful." I said reaching to pull him up but he was on his feet in an instant like the fall hadn't even fazed him.

"I'm ok...I'm fine...I can do it," He said hopping around on one foot trying to pull off his too small shoe.

I didn't know whether to help him or just let him figure it out. His tongue was sticking out the side of his mouth and his face was scrunched up in concentration. He seemed determined to get the shoe off his foot and once again I was reminded of Jane and Angela's stubborn ways. I decided to just sit on the floor and watch him. He hopped all around the room on one foot and finally fell to the ground in front of me when the first shoe finally came off. He giggled up at me and his little toes wiggled in socks so dingy and full of holes they were nearly black. I wanted to cry when I saw his socks and how small his shoes were compared to his feet. I hated to think that my son had been mistreated and ill taken care of his entire life. I felt an anger rise in me. How could anyone not have the decency to at least dress him in clean clothes and the right size shoes. In spite of this, he was still a sweet, happy little boy. He deserved better than the rags he wore and the fact that he was so thin worried me. But Tommy didn't seem to have a care in the world in that moment. He just giggled and rolled around on his Batman rug. I smiled and pulled him into my arms.

"Come here son; let me help you take the other shoe off." I said sitting him in my lap and trying to unlace the other shoe.

I felt just how thin he was when he was in my arms. Tears came to my eyes but I forced them back. I kissed the top of his head and heard his belly growl again.

"Baby are you hungry?" I asked him.

"No," He said in that little voice of his.

But as I looked down at him I knew he was lying. I didn't let him see how much it hurt me that he felt like he had to tell me he wasn't hungry when I knew full well he was. I had no idea why he felt the need to lie, but I knew very soon I'd be on the phone with DCS in Boston to get to the bottom of whatever was going on in that foster farm where he 'lived'. But for the moment I was just happy to have him in my arms.

"Well I'm going to feed you anyway little man as soon as you're all washed and dressed. Let's get this shoe off your foot." I said struggling to get the shoe off.

The shoe was so small compared to his foot if just wouldn't come off. I tugged and tugged and it wouldn't budge. Tommy just squealed and giggled and kicked his other foot as he squirmed in my lap. He was even more fidgety than Angela and bigger which made it a battle against the shoe and him. But the more I struggled the more Tommy laughed and squirmed.

"You're a wiggly little monster," I cooed at him.

Tommy just laughed harder as I fought with the shoe. I was determined to get it off but Franklin Thomas ran in the room and as always the little devil just made everything worse.

"PUPPY!" Tommy said excitedly trying to squirm his way out of my arms but there was no need since Franklin Thomas was already licking him all over the face and mouth.

"Franklin Thomas _stop_," I growled at the dog but he seemed to be in love with Tommy and Tommy was in love with him.

FT jumped in his lap and licked the boy's face so much I thought he would drown in puppy slobber.

"Go on FT," I said trying to push the dog away but Tommy wrapped him in his arms and hung on to him petting his fur and giggling every time he licked his face.

I just sighed and continued on trying to get the shoe off Tommy's foot. It was hopeless with both Tommy and FT squirming around in my lap. FT, ever the helpful advocate, jumped out of my lap and grabbed a hold of Tommy's shoe and tugged at it violently. This only excited Tommy more. Tommy flailed his arms and kicked his feet and bounced in my lap but FT never let go and Tommy couldn't stop laughing. I was trying to yell at the dog but I kept getting mouthfuls of Tommy's wild hair. I tried to kick at FT with my foot but that only made him stop long enough to rip off my heel and chew a hole in it before turning back to Tommy's impossibly tight shoe. I cursed at the dog, furious with him then cursed again when I realized I shouldn't have cursed at all with my child in my arms. I wanted to strangle FT but I certainly couldn't do that in front of my son. FT was tearing at the shoe like crazy. The dog's ears were back, and he growled every time Tommy kicked his feet. FT tossed his head from side to side pulling at the shoe so hard he was literally dragging Tommy out of my lap.

"Franklin Thomas stop right now..._stop_...STOP!" I demanded trying to swat at the dog and pull my son back into my lap but FT wasn't so tiny anymore and my son couldn't stop laughing and flailing around.

I grabbed Tommy's other shoe and started swatting FT's butt with it but he just started moving side to side dodging my swats and never letting go of Tommy's foot.

"Franklin Thomas, you're going to get it dog, let go...LET GO!" I said angrily trying to get at the dog but it was no use.

By my trying to keep a hold of Tommy I was only managing to tickle him and he was laughing so hard he had the hiccups. Jane ran into the room and saw what was going on. Her eyes went wide at first, until her face broke out into a big grin.

"Having problems baby," Jane teased me.

She arched her eye brow as she looked at me. I could tell she was more than a little amused at this little tussle. I was so exhausted from the whole thing I was sweating and I felt my hair sticking to my face. But Jane just kept on grinning.

"Anytime you want to lend a hand _Jane_…" I growled at her.

Jane just cocked her head.

"I kinda wanna see how this is all going to play out," She said crossing her arms and leaning against the chest of drawers.

"_Honey_," I gave Jane my best warning voice and warning face.

Jane just rolled her eyes and grabbed FT but he still wouldn't let go even as Jane lifted him into the air. Half of Tommy's little body left the floor with FT's grip on his shoe. Tommy was beside himself with giggles. I couldn't have been more irritated with the damn dog. I swatted at FT again with the shoe but I lost my grip and the shoe went flying and hit Jane on the nose. Jane fell backward with FT in her arms. The only reason Tommy fell back into me was because FT finally got the shoe off his foot. Jane landed flat on her back and FT scampered away with the shoe in his mouth.

"Owww OWWWW my _nose_ Maura...GOD! You're _always_ smacking me and beatin me up and stuff! OUUUCH!" Jane wailed.

She was rolling around on the floor with her hands over her face wailing and crying.

"Oh honey, you're ok." I sighed.

I lifted my son to his feet and crawled over to Jane but Tommy was on top of her before I could get there. He took a great running leap into her arms. Jane made a gasping sound on impact.

"Aunt JANE, have you seen my room! Look how _big_ it is and it's all Batman and it's all mine, Aunt Maura said so...she said it was all _mine_!" Tommy exclaimed.

Jane's face was all red from the breath that had been knocked out of her body. Her nose looked a bit like a tomato but she giggled at her son anyway. She lifted Tommy up and held him above her.

"I've seen it little guy... it's awesome right?" Jane tried to speak but her voice was hoarse from the impact of Tommy's little body.

"It's great Aunt Jane. I'm flying, I'm flying," Tommy said holding out his arms to the sides as Jane held him above her and he kicked his little feet giggling and laughing.

Jane started to laugh and made airplane noises with Tommy as she wiggled him around but in his excitement Tommy accidently kicked Jane in the gut so hard she dropped him and he landed on top of her again. Jane coughed and started gasping for air.

"_Oh-my-GOD_!" Jane cried.

Her face was so red it was almost purple.

"Oh sweetie," I said grabbing Tommy off of her.

"Aunt Jane are you ok? You look funny." Tommy asked curiously.

"I'm fine buddy...I'm _fine_..." Jane heaved and choked.

She was clutching her stomach and rolled into the fetal position on the floor.

"Everything's _fine_," She whimpered in a high pitched squeaky voice.

Tommy looked frightened. He looked up at me with wide worried eyes. He looked like he wanted to cry.

"It's ok sweetheart," I said kissing his head and gathering his clothes for him.

I led him into the bathroom and closed the door so he couldn't see Jane's manic tantrum.

"Don't worry about me in here...I'm not in any _pain_!" I heard Jane wailing from the other room.

I rolled my eyes and tried not to laugh at her.

"Is Aunt Jane gonna be ok Aunt Maura?" Tommy asked me, his eyes were wrinkled with concern and he was fidgeting awkwardly. "She don't like me no more."

My heart broke as I looked at Tommy. He seemed genuinely upset and worried. I kneeled down and wrapped him in a hug again.

"Don't worry sweetheart, she's fine. I tell you what. I am going to get you a bath and then help you get dressed." I told him gently.

Tommy still looked worried. I took his face in my hand and kissed his cheeks.

"It's ok little guy. I promise. Your Aunt Jane is going to be fine and she still loves you and always will. She told me how excited she was to read you your Batman comic tonight." I said.

Tommy grinned at me.

"YAAAY Batman," Tommy said running around the bathroom with his arms out like he was flying.

I smiled at him. He had such a playful spirit, my girlfriend's eyes and her grin. Seeing him so happy and carefree made me fall in love with him deeper and deeper. The way Jane looked at him was like nothing I'd ever seen from her. Jane was, for the first time since I met her, truly happy and I knew it was Tommy that made her whole again. I grabbed Tommy and hugged him tightly. He wrapped his arms around my neck and my heart melted.

"Let's get you that bath, get you dressed and we can have dinner together. And then you can go swimming with James' boys. Would you like that?" I asked him.

Tommy's face lit up with excitement again.

"We're gonna go to a pool? A _real_ pool?" He asked practically trembling with glee.

I smiled at him and messed his hair.

"No honey we don't have to go anywhere. There's a pool in the backyard you just haven't seen it yet."

Tommy's face went slack.

"You have your own pool? WOOOW!" His eyes were full of wonder.

"No sweetheart, WE have our own pool. It belongs to the family and you're family, you're my son and Jane's son and this is your home."

"A pool? That's so cooooool!" Tommy said excitedly.

I just smiled and kissed his forehead.

"Come on let's get you cleaned up," I said turning on the water to run a bath for him.

I reached out to help Tommy pull off his shirt but he jumped and back away quickly.

"I can do it Aunt Maura. I can do it," Tommy insisted.

His eyes were wide and he became very anxious for some reason. I was worried by how insistent he was about bathing himself but I didn't want to upset him. I just wanted him to feel comfortable and get settled. Maybe it was expecting too much for Tommy to let me undress him and bathe him. We had just met after all. Perhaps he was just shy. I smiled at him anyway. I didn't want him to be uncomfortable with me, but I knew it would take time for him to build trust with me. I would not push him, he was such a precious boy.

"Ok honey. You be a big boy and get clean. When you're finished we'll eat and play ok?" I said kissing the top of his head. "If you need anything, I'll be just outside the door. Ok sweetie?" I said standing to leave. Tommy nodded.

I could still here Jane rolling around on the floor in Tommy's bedroom exclaiming over how neglected she felt and how hurt she was. I stifled a chuckle.

"Aunt Maura," Tommy called to me before I left the bathroom.

I turned around to look at him. He was grinning widely and I couldn't stop my heart from melting and my smile from covering my face. He really was such a pretty boy.

"This is the best house ever!" He said.

I leaned my head against the door frame and sighed happily.

"I'm glad you like it here sweetheart. I bought it with you in mind my little prince. Now go on...get clean. I'll see you when you're finished."

I said and closed the door behind me.

...

Jane and I played with our children all the rest of the day. We swam for hours after our early dinner. The meal was a chaotic ridiculous thing. Between James' boys, my son who couldn't seem to sit still, and Angela who'd suddenly developed a propensity to say curse words, it took an hour and a half just to get through dinner. Tommy apparently had a thing for cheeseburgers just like Jane and ate two of them like he hadn't eaten in years. Consuela kept shoveling fries on his plate and insisting that he eat. Every time I tried to tell her to give him vegetables, she just glared at me and so did Jane. I eventually gave up on that battle. I would sit Jane and Consuela down and deal with it later. I had a strong suspicion Tommy was malnourished. His skin was paler than it should have been and he had dark circles under his eyes. I didn't mention it to Jane however. I wouldn't ruin her happy reunion with her brother's son..._our_ son. I did set up an appointment with a pediatrician at Addison's practice on Monday morning. I couldn't ignore my suspicions that something was off with Tommy. I was determined to find out what was going on with my son. In the meantime, I tried not to let my worries consume me. At least he was eating. He was just so small it was almost ridiculous.

After lunch I tried to make the boys sit down and watch a movie while their food digested. But James' boys were out of the house in less than five minutes finding some mischief. I thought Tommy would join them, but he seemed very timid around James' boys for some reason. Tommy preferred to make his mischief indoors. He loved his clothes and ran around the house in his new shoes excitedly. He ran up to me over and over pointing out different things he loved about them. He would hug me and kiss my cheek and I would tear up every time. He wouldn't even take off his new clothes to swim. He just jumped in the pool in his shorts and t shirt and swam like a fish with Jane for hours. Jane played in the deep end with the boys and James while Molly and I waded in the shallow end with our daughters talking and laughing with each other. I watched my son and noticed he really only played with Jane or James. Not the other boys. I found it a little odd that Tommy seemed to avoid the boys, especially since they seemed to be trying so hard to include him in their games. James' boys were extremely rambunctious and played roughly like most boys do. But Tommy just wanted to hang all over Jane especially when one of James' boys were near him. I watched him closely growing more and more curious about my observations but Molly was a chatty thing and Angela constantly distracted me.

Molly seemed much better mentally since the last time I'd seen her. She stated over and over how good Jane looked and how happy she was for the both of us. I would look over at Jane in her little black bikini and smile. She was so sexy it was almost painful to look at her.

"_It's been really hard for James this last month or so. He barely slept, hardly ate, and sometimes he'd have these terrible nightmares. He'd wake up screaming and scare the children and it terrified me. He'd never say what the dreams were about, but I think they were about Jane and what happened at the club..." Molly said. _

_Her face expressed worry. Then her voice trailed off and she looked away from me. _

_"I'm sorry I didn't mean to bring up the club and the...you know...what happened there." Molly said timidly. _

_I sighed. I didn't want to talk about what happened at the club. This day was more beautiful than any day I'd ever seen. The sun was shining brightly, my son was in my home and he was handsome, beautiful, and full of giggles and goofy grins. Janie was so happy, happier than I'd ever seen her. She couldn't take her eyes off Tommy. I could see all the love she had for him every time she looked at him. When she would look back at me, her face was beaming and her smile was bright and she would mouth 'I love you' to me and my heart soared. Sometimes she would swim over to me, wrap me in her arms and kiss me. I would forget for a moment there were children in the pool and all I wanted was to take Jane upstairs, dim the lights and..._

_But I had to be a lady and a good Maddy for the moment. Violet had encouraged us earlier today to try and work our way back to a sexual relationship but I was still careful, and still worried about Jane. I loved her so much, God I loved her and God she was fine to look at in that little black bikini, but I would not push her. Molly reminding me of all the misery from the past month just made me want to fight that much harder to make sure my love and my children never had to go through anything like that ever again. _

_"Jane has come a long way, Molly. I worried for her for so long, God I almost fell apart under the pressure of seeing her through this. It was the worst thing that ever happened to me but far more horrible for Jane. I thought...there were times when I didn't think I'd make it Molly. I would look at her or hear her crying and all her bruises and the stitches..." I closed my eyes as I cradled Angela against my body in the pool. _

_"I've never prayed so hard in my life. But look at her now Molly, she's so happy and she's laughing and she has her nephew…our son. I love Jane and I'll spend the rest of my life making sure she's safe and my babies are safe." I said looking down at Angela and kissing her little cheek. _

_Angela squealed happily and smacked at the water. _

_"Sim Maddy...SIM." Angela giggled kicking her little feet in the water. _

_"Yes baby you're a good swimmer. Better than your Maddy," I grinned at my daughter. _

_"Jane looks great Maura, she really does. You have such a beautiful family and such a pretty home. I know James is happy to see you guys like this. I haven't seen him smile in a month." Molly smiled. "He really cares about you Maura. I know you're his boss, but he cares about you and Jane. He slept the night through last night for the first time since...it all happened. I know it's because he got to talk to Jane. She was all he talked about the rest of the day and how good she sounded and how excited he was to bring Tommy up here to you guys. I think he's actually going to be better now that he's seen you two are happy and ok."_

_I studied Molly as she spoke. Molly and I had never been particularly close, but it was nice having another woman to talk to about things. I smiled at her as I thought of the words I wanted to say. _

_"I'm going to ask Jane to marry me. James and I are close and I wondered will you be a bridesmaid?" I asked her timidly. "That is if Jane says yes."_

_Molly looked shocked at first, and then her face settled into a huge grin. I even thought I saw tears in her eyes. _

_"Oh my goodness, of course I will and of course she'll say yes. Look at the way she looks at you. She loves you so much Maura. I'm so happy for you guys oh my gosh," Molly said wrapping me in a hug. _

_"You don't think it's too soon to ask her after everything that happened?" I asked. _

_"No... No oh my gosh no. There couldn't be a more perfect time for her to know this is forever with you guys. That's all she wants with you Maura, she wants forever and it's so sweet and OH my GOSH we have to have an engagement party and a bachelorette party and do you want a big wedding or a small one and are you wearing a dress...you should totally wear a dress. Oh we get to go shopping...yaaay!" Molly said clapping her hands excitedly. _

_"Shhhh, Molly keep it down," I hissed at her. _

_Jane was swimming over to us with Tommy riding on her back smiling and yelling excitedly. _

_"Faster Aunt Jane...I'm flying." Tommy giggled. _

_Jane swam right up to me and rolled over in the water grabbing Tommy and launching him backward through the air to land with a splash in the water. Tommy squealed and giggled and laughed and swam back to us flashing his handsome little grin. _

_"Whatcha guys so excited about," Jane asked looking between Molly and me quizzically. _

_"We were just talking about...ummm...throwing a party, weren't we Molly." I said eyeing James' wife. _

_Molly was never the brightest light bulb and she was extremely young but I prayed she could at least keep a secret. But Molly was practically losing herself in glee and threw her arms around Jane's neck. _

_"Oh I'm so happy for you guys...it's all just so sweet."_

_Jane looked at me curiously over Molly's shoulder. _

_"What she means is she's happy we're getting custody of Tommy and have a house and that you're doing so well," I said grabbing Molly's hand and giving it a very tight squeeze. _

_Molly just giggled and carried her daughter out of the pool looking over her shoulder and grinning at us constantly. _

_"What's with her?" Jane asked. _

_"Don't worry about her, you just look at me." I said kissing Jane's lips lightly. _

_Jane's grin turned devilish in an instant. Her eyes ran over my body in my red bikini and she bit her lip. _

_"Baby you must be from Tennessee cause you're the only ten I see." She said pulling me into her body. _

_I felt her grab my ass beneath the water and I squealed._

_"That's the lamest shit that's ever come out of your mouth baby." I chuckled, Jane blushed. _

_"You are the only ten I see, Angel." She whispered in my ear. _

_Her grin was cheesy but I kissed her anyway. And the kiss made me weak. In between us I heard this little baby voice say "shit Maddy shit." Jane started laughing. I rolled my eyes. _

_Of all the words Angela heard in a day, why did she have to pick the curse words to repeat all the time? But as I looked at my daughter's mother's goofy lopsided grin, I knew where she got her pension for mischief and all things wicked._

All the rest of the evening Molly kept smiling and winking at me to the point where Jane was looking at me funny. I wanted to throw a pillow at Molly's face and smother her with it. She kept pulling me into corners and demanding to know when I was going to ask Jane to marry me, what colors I wanted for the bridesmaid's dresses, if I had plans for a honeymoon already, and on and on and on until I wanted to stuff something in her mouth and shake her silly. I didn't have time to deal with all Molly's questions; I hadn't thought that far anyway. By the end of the evening, between James' son's shenanigans and my little boy who was proving to be exceedingly inquisitive we were all tired. Tommy liked to play games of 'jump off the highest surface' and 'hide in weird places and see how much you can stress everyone out trying to find you'. At this point he was proving himself to be a larger, smarter Angela and between the two of them I was ready to fall into a coma and sleep forever. Even Angela, who seemed to be greatly amused by her cousin, was exhausted. FT settled down on the couch and fell asleep without having to be threatened with violence. James and his family were bedding down in their own wing of the house. I lay on the couch with my little daughter sleeping in my arms. I just fed her a small bottle of warm milk so she would calm down enough to fall asleep. I rarely ever allowed anyone to give her bottles through the day anymore because Angela was quickly growing into toddlerhood. But I allowed her a bottle every morning and every night because it calmed her to sleep and she often woke up fussy until she had a bottle. Also I enjoyed the bond I felt with her at night as I fed her a bottle and watched her tired eyes close. Jane snuggled up next to me with Tommy in her arms. Jane had read Tommy three Batman comics already and Tommy's eyes were just now starting to close. Jane ran her fingers through his hair and kissed the top of his head. She looked so peaceful with him in her arms. She would smile down at him as she studied his face. More than once I saw tears in her eyes as she looked at him. His head rested against her chest, his fingers tangled with her own, and as I watched them my heart swelled with love and pride. As silly and ridiculous as Jane could be sometimes she was a wonderful mother.

I smiled down at my daughter and kissed her cheeks.

"We should put them to bed honey," I whispered to Jane.

Jane looked at me sadly. She held Tommy closer to her body. I don't even know if she realized she did that but I could tell she didn't want to let him go. She looked down at his sleeping face and I saw tears in her eyes again. She smiled at him lovingly and brushed his cheeks. When one of her tears fell on his face I knew how happy she was. I wrapped my arm around Jane's neck and pulled her to me to kiss her cheek but she turned her head and her lips found mine. She kissed me deeply. I smiled against her lips. Jane blushed and looked back down at our son.

"Five more minutes baby please. I just want to hold him." She said softly.

I sighed but I could deny her nothing. I ran my fingers through her hair and nodded my head. Jane closed her eyes and her breath hitched when I kissed her neck. When she looked at me again her eyes were sparkling like diamonds. She leaned her forehead against mine. I could tell there were so many things she wanted to say. There were so many things she was feeling. I lay her head on my shoulder.

"What are you thinking about Janie?" I asked.

It was a moment before Jane spoke. I could see her jaw work and her throat swallow many times as she looked down at our sleeping son. She kissed his head again.

"My brother never got to hold his son." Jane started before the tears came to her eyes again.

Her voice was soft. Her eyes were distant. But when she looked at Tommy all I saw was love on her face.

"He never got to hold his son. My mother never got to meet him; she wanted grand children _so_ badly. I loved my brother so much, both of them. I loved my Ma too and I miss them." Tears streamed from Jane's eyes. She touched Tommy's face with trembling fingers.

"I know I'll never get them back, I know they're gone. But when I look at him and Angela, Maura I can see all of them. He has Tommy's eyes and Frankie's smile. His voice is soft like my mother's. His face is sweet like Frankie's. Angela looks just like my Ma. Even though she's gone and my brothers are gone, when I look at our children, it's almost like they're still here with me. When I look at Tommy's face, it's almost like I feel whole inside again. It's like my brother left him here for me. He's the best gift Tommy ever gave me. Even though my family is gone because of what he got himself into, he left me his son and it's my job to take care of him. This little guy is all I got left of them, he needs me, and he really needs you, Maddy," Jane smiled at me through her tears.

Her eyes were dazzling and beautiful. Her smile was easy and sincere despite her tears. I smiled back at her and kissed her eye lids.

"Maddy's not going anywhere baby." I whispered to her.

Jane's grin was beaming.

"You're the best Maddy ever," She giggled. "Tommy couldn't stop talking about his room, or his shoes, or his bed, all day long. You nailed it baby, even though you were a nightmare all day yesterday."

Jane rolled her eyes at me. I just grinned.

"I had to make sure my son had everything he needed." I said nipping at Jane's lips.

Jane just smiled at me.

"You're the best thing that ever happened to me," Jane said with tear streaked eyes.

"Likewise my love. Likewise." I whispered against her lips.

Jane's face flushed when she kissed me. She bit her lip and curled her hair around her finger. There was mischief in her eyes.

"What is it honey?" I asked.

Jane giggled nervously.

"Ummm, Violet said we should...that we could try and...You know...do it. You wanna go upstairs?" Jane said blushing even harder.

I took a deep breath. I felt incredibly nervous all of a sudden. I hadn't had time to really think through what Violet said to us during therapy earlier. The day had been so busy between my children and James' family. I thought I'd have a few days at least before Jane brought it up, but apparently I was wrong. I looked at Jane in her Red Sox pajamas with her flushing face. She was so pretty and I could smell her hair as it brushed against my face. I did not speak for a while. I just looked at her. Jane ran her fingers around the neck line of my negligee and kissed my neck. I shuddered.

"Are you...ready for that baby?" I asked uncertainly.

She looked at me with those sweet eyes of hers. She nodded her head. She looked like a blushing bride. I smiled and kissed her burning cheeks. I felt her shiver next to me.

"Let's put these little rascals to bed."

We went upstairs and changed Angela and put her down in her crib. Just as we got her settled, FT came running in and jumped in the crib. Angela rolled over and put her arm around him like he was a stuffed animal. Jane and I just looked at each other and shook our heads.

We walked down the hall to Tommy's room to ready him for bed. Jane laid him down on the bed as I took out the new pair of Batman pajamas we got for him. As I shut the drawer, Tommy popped right off the bed.

"It's time for bed son. Let's get you undressed so you can put your pajamas on and you can go back to sleep honey." I said softly. I moved to take off his shirt but Tommy jumped and backed away from me.

"I can do it by myself Aunt Jane and Aunt Maura." He reached for his paper bag and took out a filthy looking t-shirt and tried to head for his bathroom.

"No sweetheart. We got you pajamas. See?" I held them out so he could see them.

"What are pajamas Aunt Maura?" Tommy asked sleepily.

"They're comfortable clothes for sleeping darling. Let us help you put them on son." I said gently.

But Tommy just reached his little hand out for the pajamas. Poor little thing was so sleepy. But he took them into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. Jane and I waited for him outside his bathroom. I was thinking many worrying things, like why my son didn't know what pajamas were for starters. Jane sat on the bed twiddling her thumbs. She was oddly quiet.

"Does he seem...strange to you?" She asked me finally.

I looked at her face and she lowered her eyes. I didn't know exactly what she was thinking, but I could tell she was bothered. Worse I could see how much it pained her to have called her son 'strange'. Even so I knew she still loved him, even though he was a little...odd. I knew Jane would love him no matter what always and forever. I didn't really know what to say to her. I didn't want to worry or upset her. Besides the word 'strange' was such a vague and open ended description of a human being. I had my own worries about my son, but until it was proven that he was in fact malnourished or mistreated I would not spread my worries onto Jane.

"Jane, Tommy is a beautiful boy. He's funny, cheerful, inquisitive, and sweet natured. Best of all he's your son, he's _my_ son and whatever happens he will always be our son." I smiled at Jane, leaned down and kissed her face.

Despite my worries over Tommy I had spoken the truth of him and my words seemed to comfort Jane. She sighed, took my hand and kissed my fingers. I sat next to her on Tommy's bed to wait for him to come out of his bathroom, but he seemed to be taking a long time. I grew more and more anxious as to what could take him so long. Jane eventually got up and knocked on the bathroom door. When he didn't answer she went in to check on him. He had changed into his pajamas and fallen asleep on the floor. Jane just smiled down at him. He was clutching the comic book he gave her against his chest. She scooped him up in her arms and put him in his bed. I sang him my favorite lullaby. The first song I ever sang to Angela. I kissed his forehead when the song was over and looked up at Jane. I'd never seen her look at me with so much love in her eyes.

...

"Does that feel good baby?" I whispered up at Jane.

Her eyes were closed as she straddled me in the reading chair in our bedroom. Her hips rocked slowly into mine in answer to my question. Her hands held the back of my head gently. Her breath was unsteady. Her head rolled and her dark curls fell down her back like an ocean of shining onyx waves.

"I need you to kiss me," Jane said.

Jane's eyes pierced me. She traced my lips with her finger. The touch made me shudder. I ran my hands up her back and pulled her shoulders forward. Her lips smiled down at me. She nipped at my neck, kissed my jaw, and teased my lips with the tip of her tongue. I exhaled a deep breath that caught in my throat as I tried to stifle a moan. Jane pulled me close and kissed me deeply. Her kiss was timid at first, like the first flight of a bird whose wing had been broken. I was careful. I was gentle. I was afraid. I could not bear to hurt her, or push her, or have her push me away. I let her lead and I followed. I was so afraid of being overwhelmed by my hunger for her. I touched her with little more than my fingertips. But I wanted her all the same. This was her maiden flight after weeks and weeks of captivity but I _wanted_ her, to glide with her, to know that she was with me always wherever life saw fit to take us.

Jane pulled out of the kiss slowly. She bit her lip as she looked down at me. Her grin was playful, but her eyes were low and heavy. She touched my breasts and I gasped as I looked up at her.

"I missed you baby," Jane whispered to me. "I missed this."

I smiled up at her. The heat between our two bodies was alive like the pulses of vibrant electricity. I felt every pore of my skin open and every cell of my body cried in unison for the touch of the one in my arms. But still I was afraid.

"I missed this too Janie. I missed you too. But I'm...I'm _scared_ honey. I don't want to hurt you." I whispered softly.

Jane's eyes looked at me like I _had_ done something to hurt her. But just as quickly as it came Jane's face evened out and her smile returned. She brushed my hair behind my ears and kissed me again. This time the kiss was pure heat. This time the kiss was passionate. This time the kiss left me breathless and yearning. My fingers touched her face, her body moved with mine as the hunger took us both. She tasted like heaven. When Jane pulled out of the kiss this time both our eyes remained closed for long moments. Our lips brushed against each other's as my mind raced with anticipation and then calmed into quiet recesses of space. I was not so afraid anymore.

"I know you won't hurt me Angel." Jane whispered.

Her eyes were still closed. She touched her lips and I saw how unsteady her hands were.

"Open your eyes and look at me," I said softly.

The black veil of her hair shimmered, shined and tickled my shoulders. Jane looked directly at me, into me. I felt pulled toward her as if we both were magnetic. I kissed her lips again, just the softest touch. Jane sighed when my lips found hers.

"You would never hurt me. I know you wouldn't...I _know_ you wouldn't. That is why I love you so much. That is why I want you so much. I _am_ yours," Jane said.

She took my hand and slid my fingers down her body and between her legs. I gasped when I felt how wet she was. Her eyes never left mine. The glow of her skin, her hair, her spirit moved me. My yearning for her was beyond me, beyond thought, beyond everything. I wanted her. I longed to be inside of her again. I wanted to bring her to ecstasy as I had so many times before. I wrapped my hand around her waist and moved my fingers toward her entrance. I looked up at her, deep into her eyes.

"Are you sure baby girl?" I whispered.

Jane closed her eyes and nodded. I took another deep breath.

"Open your eyes sweet heart and look at me," I said softly. "I want you to know it's me."

Jane opened her eyes and smiled at me. She wrapped her arms around me and kissed me.

"I'm ready baby," Jane assured me.

I entered her gently and slowly. But her reaction was not what I expected; it was not what I dreamed. Jane cried out, her eyes closed shut, and her face seemed full of pain. I pulled my fingers out of her immediately. I knew what her cries of pleasure sounded like, I knew what her cries of pain sounded like. I hated to think that I may have caused her pain. I _loved_ this woman. Jane's eyes remained tightly closed. She still held the back of my head. Her breathing became very rapid and I could see confusion all over her face. I was so worried and upset. I felt a tear run down my cheek. Damn. I pulled my hands off Jane's body completely. I wanted to collapse into tears. I knew I shouldn't have agreed to this. I hoped that I had not caused her pain when every waking moment of my life these past weeks was spent battling to make sure she never hurt again.

"I'm so _sorry_ baby I didn't mean to hurt you." I could not speak above a whisper.

Jane opened her eyes and whatever she saw in my face made her expression go from pain to sadness. She tried to kiss me but I pulled away. I was _so_ afraid again. I turned my head from her and felt the tears burning my eyes that wanted so desperately to fall in a cascade of pain, anger, and loss. But Jane, ever sweet and ever kind, took my face in her hands and held me still. Her eyes called to mine and mine called to hers. She brushed her thumb over my cheek and smiled as brightly as she could.

"It's not you honey," She whispered to me. "It's not you I just...it hurts when you...it hurts inside...when you put your fingers inside of me it feels like when that guy..." Jane's face crumpled up in pain.

I was so disgusted I wanted to throw her off me. I _hated_ hearing her speak of that man worse now than I ever had. Bile rose in my throat. I could _not_ and _would_ to be compared to him on any level. Janie was _my_ baby, _my_ princess, _my_ love. I felt myself growing angrier as I thought of the man that had done this to her. As hard as I fought, as hard as I battled, as hard as I tried, that man's evil still crept his way into Jane's mind and into our bedroom where I worshipped her, where I loved her, where I thought of nothing else but her. I clenched my teeth. I formed my hands into fists. I could not stand to look upon her face.

"You are never, _ever_ to compare me to that man again Janie. I am _not_ that man, I am not a man of any kind and I would never _hurt_ you. I can't believe you would say that to me," I said. I turned my head from her. I would not touch her. I felt my whole body get tense.

I felt Jane wrap her arms around my neck and pull me into her body. I felt her lips at my ear.

"It's not you angel. It's just weird when something is inside of me. It always hurts a little inside of me. Violet says it's natural and I can move past it with time. But everything hurts, even tampons. But _you_ don't hurt me and you are so _good_ to me. I'm so sorry I...I...I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. I should have never tried to explain it that way. It doesn't mean I don't love you and it doesn't mean I don't want you. You don't have to touch me inside to please me baby. Trust me sweetheart." She whispered softly.

I knew Jane's lingering pain had to be in her mind because Addison had done all of Jane's follow-up appointments and gave her a clean bill of health physically. Her examinations showed no scar tissue or anything else that would cause Jane pain. Still I was angry. Knowing Jane's pain was in her head only made it worse. I just wanted her to be ok. I wanted to please her as I used to when our bedroom was sacred and she thought only of me.

Jane brushed my hot flushed cheeks with her gentle tender hands. Her every breath was a thing I worshiped. Jane brought my face to look into her eyes. She let me look at her for long moments. She leaned forward ever so slowly. I could not turn away even if I tried. Her lips touched mine. My eyes closed. My soul lifted. There was nothing around me but space and Jane in my arms. We held each other for long moments before we spoke.

I nuzzled my face in her hair and inhaled.

"I can't hurt you baby. I can't let that happen." I sighed.

Jane looked at me. She wore a mischievous expression. She pecked my lips with hers.

"You won't hurt me honey. Let me show you," Jane said to me.

I watched her run her own fingers up her thighs and... her eyes closed tightly, a shiver ran down her spine, her breath hitched, and the softest highest sounds escaped her mouth. I felt the fires in me blazing. I ran my hands over her and let out a moan of my own. I could see the muscles in Jane's neck tighten, I could see her face expressing all the pleasure she felt in that moment. She gasped again as her fingers worked between her legs. Her eyes lids fluttered. Her body rocked slowly atop mine. She kissed my lips. They were sloppy kisses, little more than pecks in between the sighs, shudders, and cries that escaped her mouth. I could feel her pleasure in my body. Her every breath and whisper of my name engulfed me in love and madness. The exquisiteness of her was like nothing I could ever imagine in my wildest dreams. She was rising above me to a place holy and sacred. I saw all other thoughts faded away from her. As I looked up at her face, studied the rise and fall of her chest, and heard the calls of her desires, I knew all that was on her mind was us. I covered her in kisses. My hands ravaged her body. But I did not move my fingers inside of her again. I understood now. She was in control, her needs and wants were all that mattered, I would do anything to please her.

"You're such a pretty girl baby. You're so gorgeous and so sweet to me princess." I whispered in her ear.

Jane bit her lip again and grabbed the back of the chair for balance. She kissed me as best she could as waves of pleasure engulfed her body. She was magnificent. I kissed every part of her I could. I tasted the salty sweat of her skin. Her moans grew louder and more wanting.

"I _love_ you Maura, I _love_ you baby," She sighed as she straddled my lap working her fingers between her legs.

I smiled and pulled her fingers from between her legs. I held her hand in my own as I gazed up at her.

"You know I love you too princess. You know you're my baby girl don't you?" I said looking up at her.

I felt the fire in my eyes. Jane's own eyes caught fire as she gazed down at me. Her breath was heavy.

"Show me I'm your baby girl. Show me how much you love me." She said leaning in and whispering in my ear in a voice so low and raspy I exploded with hunger and flaming desire.

I brought her hand to my face and slipped her fingers inside of my mouth. I savored her juices. I remembered again how much I loved her flavor. I remembered the nights where I sent her soaring with my tongue between her legs. I closed my eyes as her sticky juice on my fingers in my mouth covered my tongue like the sweetest honey. She still tasted the same as the last time I had her this way. She had lost nothing of her potency. If anything the smell of her was sweeter and the taste of her was liquid gold on my tongue.

"You like the way I taste angel?" Jane cooed in my ear.

She giggled and I giggled with her. Jane's smile was precious. I pulled her fingers from my mouth and kissed her lips.

"You know I taste good baby," Jane teased me with a devilish grin.

Even her eyes crinkled with laughter. I smiled up at her as she ran her fingers through my hair.

"Yes you do taste good baby girl. You taste like you're mine." I said kissing her fingers again.

The golden locket around her neck that my mother gave her glittered along with the beads of sweat shining on her dark olive skin. She smelled good, like vanilla. She knew it was my favorite scent. I slid my hands up her stomach. The silk of her negligee was warm in my fingers and I felt her muscles quiver under my touch. She was wearing the first negligee I ever gave her, the one she wore the first time we made love. I remembered the first time I lay with her like it was yesterday. It had been the greatest experience of my life; to give myself to someone I loved so completely. But in this moment as I gazed up at her she wasn't just my girlfriend anymore. She was my forever. I ran my hands up her legs and held her hips. Jane lifted her negligee around her waist and squirmed on top of me. She looked down at me with the devil in her eyes. She cupped my breasts in her hands and ran her thumbs over my nipples.

"I _am_ yours honey. I've _always_ been yours." She sighed against my lips.

"Janie," I whispered breathlessly.

Her smile was triumphant. She dragged her tongue around my lips before she kissed me. Her hair cascaded over my face and shoulders. Jane pulled my negligee over my head and inhaled deeply as she threw it over her shoulder. She leaned back and just looked at me. Her eyes traveled over my body slowly. Her hands felt everything her eyes took in. I let her take her time. I leaned back in the chair and closed my eyes. Her hands were soft and gentle. I felt her hips in my hands squirming in anticipation.

"You're so fucking _sexy_ Angel." Jane whispered in a raspy voice laced with yearning.

I smiled and looked up at her. My eye lids were low as I watched her take in my body. Her eyes made my thighs moisten even further. Her skin glowed in the light of the flames in the fire place. I leaned up and kissed her just under her chin. I left a trail of kisses down her body and took her breast in my mouth. Jane's breath hitched and her body wiggled and squirmed. She grabbed my shoulders and her legs squirmed on either side of me. I smiled as I kissed her nipple while I flicked the other one with my thumb. I felt her nails run down my back. The heat between my legs sent waves of burning fire all throughout my body. My center twitched. Jane's tongue was in my ear. Her breath was rapid and heavy. Her chest heaved as I fondled her breasts. I felt her pulse as I kissed her neck. She whimpered as I slid my hands up her inner thighs so close to the part of her that belonged only to me. I stopped my hands just before they touched her there. I pulled my head back to look at her. She let me look into her, further than I ever had before. She saw the question in my eyes without me even having to voice it. There were no walls between us anymore.

"I'm ok baby. I _am_ yours," She whispered to me.

Her eyes were so sincere and her smile was so sweet. As I looked into her I felt so much pain, anger, and fear fall away from me. The burden of tremendous responsibility released me. It felt like for the first time in a long time my heart was free and my soul was weightless and I did not have to be strong in that moment. Outside of my bedroom, I was the king of my castle and the master of my empire. But in Jane's arms I didn't have to be anything more than her lover and that I could do without even thinking of it. She was my princess, and this was my sanctuary. I had not felt so close to her since the last time we truly made love.

I cradled her face in my hands. She closed her eyes and covered my hands with hers. Tears streamed down my face as I looked at her. There had never been a more magnificent woman. Even after all she'd been through. Even having seen all her tears, her scars, her pain, and her darkness...she was gorgeous to me. I wrapped her in my arms and hugged her tightly. I felt her heart beat against mine and there was no God known or unknown that I did not thank for blessing me with Jane. For 35 years I had wandered the earth absent hope, passion, love, or even the knowledge that I could be loved. Jane brought a storm and a fire of life and love the likes of which I had never known into my life. Where there was once emptiness I was whole, I knew no more lonely nights. Even in the deepest of the gloom she and I had shared, I'd rather crawl through the darkness with Jane than be cursed with a life without her.

Jane pulled my head back and her eyes widened when she saw my tears. Her face showed so many emotions. She kissed my forehead and rocked me in her arms. Tears streamed from her own eyes as she looked at me so lovingly. She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed my lips. I opened my mouth and we found each other's tongues. I wrapped my hands around her waist and lifted her into my arms. She wrapped her legs around me. Her hair fell in my face as I carried her to our bed. She kissed me as I lay her down and pulled her negligee over her head. She pulled me on top of her. Her legs spread for me and held me against her body. She whispered sweet things between our kisses. I ran my hand down the outside of her thigh.

"Maura, baby I want you," Jane gasped with heavy breath.

I kissed her deeply as my fingers found the place between her legs that I loved so much. My entire body shuddered when I felt how wet she was. I let my fingers run over her swollen clit. Jane arched her back, her eyes shut tightly, her mouth was opened but there was not a sound to be heard. I looked down into her face. I could see her muscles tense beneath her skin.

"Open your eyes baby girl and breathe for me," I said to her.

Her cheeks were flushed. Her body was shaking. She bit her lip hard to keep from screaming in her passion. She looked so vulnerable then. She looked so innocent even though she lay beneath me, open for me.

"Are you sure baby girl?" I whispered against her lips.

Jane cradled my face in her hands and smiled at me. She ran her fingers through my hair that fell all around her; she closed her eyes and breathed deeply. When she opened her eyes she kissed me softly. She cupped my breasts in her hands and wrapped her legs around my waist. She took my hand between her legs and pushed my fingers against her clit. I felt the heat between her legs on my moist fingers and her clit throbbed and pulsed. She rolled her hips and pushed her sex against my fingers. I gasped. Her back arched slightly and her eyes closed tightly as she began to rock herself into me. I kept my hand still and let her slide herself over my fingers. She whimpered and sighed. She moaned and cried with a shaking raspy voice. My body moved with hers but I did not push and I did not force. Her body was slick beneath mine. Our breasts touched and moved in motion together. I felt her strong thighs making my body keep rhythm with hers. She whispered my name over and over against my hungry lips. The bed springs creaked beneath us. Her juices covered my fingers. The fire between my legs built with each passing moment. My center was so alive with lust and desire for release it was painful. Shivers ran down my spine as Jane moved beneath me and her voice filled my head like beautiful music. I let my fingers move in slow circles over her clit as she rocked into my body with hers.

"It's me baby girl," I whispered to her softly. "It's me princess...I got you sweetheart."

"I'm yours baby..._I'm yours_ _baby_." She cried out to me.

Jane held me tightly in her arms. Our lips were so close together. I looked deeply into her eyes as I rocked my body with hers. Her voice rose higher. Her muscles trembled and convulsed. I kept saying her name as she whispered mine. Her clit was so swollen against my fingers I could feel her pulse between her legs with every sway of her hips. She wrapped her fingers in my hair and pulled hard. I cried out at her aggression.

"You like that princess?" I cooed down at her.

Jane looked up at me with pleading eyes; her body never broke time or rhythm against my working hand between her legs.

"More," She whispered. "More. _More_... _**more**_!"

Jane whimpered louder and louder. My own thighs were as wet as hers. I knew I was close to the hilt of my need, as close as Jane was to hers. Just the sound of her voice moaning in my ear made me crazy. I positioned my hips between her legs in order to put my body's weight behind my fingers. I pushed myself against her clit harder and circled my fingers faster as Jane rocked her hips into me.

"Maura?" Jane gasped.

She said my name as a question. Her voice was searching, raspy, and shaking. I could feel a flow of her cum pour over my fingers. I was intoxicated by her body, her voice, and the heat inside her that I loved so much.

"It's me princess," I whispered to her again. "It's me baby. It's just me. Open your eyes and look at me sweet heart."

Jane looked at me and said my name again, but this time there was power and certainty in her voice. I felt her hands run all over my body. She held my hips, ran her hands over my ass and spread her legs wider for me. I shuddered. Her long gorgeous legs around me made the fire in my core grow beyond my control. My own insides quivered and rolled and fluttered. I felt currents of electricity up and down my legs. I rocked into her faster and faster; my breath grew heavier and heavier each time I pushed into her and Jane cried my name. My hair fell in Jane's face and all I could see was her. The expression on her face was one of deepest love and wild bliss. When she came, her whole body tightened up. As she came she screamed my name, pulled me against her body as the waves of her orgasm consumed her and made every muscle shake. I ran my hands over her soft slick skin. I felt tears in my eyes as Jane rolled me over and topped me. Her face was flushed and damp, her red cheeks shown in beautiful dimples on her face. I ran my hands in her hair and pulled her into a kiss. Our eyes closed and the world fell away. I felt Jane spread my legs beneath her and I wept. I was so ecstatic. Jane just looked at me sweetly. Her eyes were deeper and darker than I ever remembered seeing them.

"Please let me have you baby," Jane whispered to me.

I sighed and closed my eyes. I relaxed my body beneath hers. Jane kissed every inch of me. I wrapped my fingers in her soft curls and breathed deeply as she kissed my breasts. I felt beautiful in that moment. I gasped when Jane took my nipple in her mouth. She was gentle with me, as gentle as I had been with her. There was no need to rush or force. I felt the want of true delight flow through me. I felt Jane's kisses travel over my stomach and down my thighs. I cried her name. When she took my sex with her mouth I almost came right then. She sucked and kissed every part of my sex. I thought I was losing my mind. My back arched high and to the side. She held me down. Jane's tongue had become a force of well-adapted skill. She had lost no knowledge of my body. I grabbed at the sheets as the heat in my body moved through me and right between my legs. She flicked her tongue over me faster and faster. I moved my hips in slow circles around her tongue. Jane hummed and purred making her lips vibrate against my clit as her tongue worked. I bit my lip and grabbed her hair as my voice rose into the heavens. I did not want to wake anyone but Lord. I could not help it. Jane's head moved with my body. I felt tears on my cheeks. I pinched my nipples and my body erupted with the force of a volcano when my pleasure came. My body arched so violently I rose to a sitting position. My legs shook on either side of Jane's face as her tongue worked through wave after wave after wave of my orgasm. Jane tilted me to the side and flattened her tongue on my clit licking me like an ice cream cone about to melt over the side. I screamed her name so loudly it could have been heard for miles and miles. I could barely breathe. My chest was heaving. I was covered in sheens of sweat and I was still cumming and jerking. I pulled Jane's head from between my legs gently. I looked down and noticed the sheets were soaking wet. My heart exploded with love for her as she looked up at me smiling sweetly. Her lips and chin glistened with my cum. I leaned down and took her mouth with mine. I dragged my tongue across her chin and licked her clean. Then I kissed her deeply and let her taste me all over again. Jane was breathing hard when I pulled her into bed with me. We did not speak. We just lay in each other's embrace. Our feet played together under the sheets, our legs were entangled, and our smiles were only for each other. We kissed long and hard into the night. Every time I felt her lips on my body I flooded with longing again and my mind was absent all other thoughts but how much I loved her.

"Was that...ok for you princess?" I asked softly.

Jane blushed.

"Would you like a performance review?" She teased me, grinning goofily against my lips.

I rolled my eyes and swatted her butt playfully. Jane wiggled her eyebrows.

"Janie I'm serious baby, did I...please you? Did I hurt you? Are you ok? I need to know." I asked taking her hands in mine.

Jane just smiled.

"You were amazing baby..._amazing_. I came so hard I could see stars. You always please me baby in everything you do. And no...I'm not hurt. I _loved_ making love with you. You're so patient and understanding. You're _so_ gentle. I love you angel." She whispered to me.

As I looked into her eyes I saw how sincere she was. I blushed and she kissed my cheeks. We made love again and again each time our pleasure rose higher until we were no longer a part of this world. I fell asleep on top of her. Both our bodies were tangled in the sheets and tangled in each other. I kissed her one last time before sleep came for me and when I closed my eyes I could see her in white with my ring on her finger. I dreamed of her that way with my son and my daughter laughing in our arms. They were the best dreams I've ever had. I dreamed and dreamed until I heard a soft knock on the bedroom door. Both Jane and I woke up immediately. Our heads whipped toward the door. Jane's eyes were wide and I knew mine were too.

"Aunt Janie? Aunt Maura?" Tommy's soft voice sounded on the other side of the door. He sounded upset.

Jane pushed me off of her so fast I almost fell out of the bed.

"Baby hold on we're coming," Jane and I said at the same time. Jane sounded as frantic as me.

Jane grabbed her robe from the hook on the bathroom door. I found my negligee on the floor and pulled it over my naked body. My heart was racing with worry and concern over my son. His little voice sounded scared and broken like he was crying. Jane and I exchanged worried looks before Jane opened the door to find Tommy standing there wrapped in his Batman blanket. His eyes were red and weepy. His hair was tousled and his face was tear-streaked. His eyes were swollen, he had been crying for a while.

"What's wrong buddy?" Jane asked kneeling down and reaching for her son but he backed up quickly.

He was trembling from head to toe. His eyes never left the floor. His little shoulders were hunched as he cried softly. Worry and confusion consumed me. I ran past Jane and pulled my son up into my arms.

"Sweetheart, please tell Maddy what's the matter son." I said gently.

But it didn't take me long to realize what was going on. His blanket was wet. A familiar smell filled my nose.

"Sweetheart...did you...did you have an accident?" I whispered in his ear.

Tommy's face scrunched up in fear and humiliation. He buried his face in my neck and cried hard in my hair. He wrapped his arms around my neck and I held his little body tightly. I turned to Jane and she looked so scared. I rubbed my weeping son's back to calm him down.

"It's ok baby boy. Jane and I will take care of it Tommy. It's ok. You don't have to cry. We'll get you all cleaned up and get you some new sheets and a new blanket and it'll be like it never happened." I cooed in his ear.

I felt every one of his bones as I held him against me. He was _so_ small and _so_ thin. I wanted to cry but I kept it together. I walked down the hall with Jane close on my heels. I set Tommy down in his bathroom and pulled off his blanket. Jane was already stripping his bed. I tried to pull off Tommy's pajama top but he backed away from me like he did Jane.

"No...I can do it." He cried harder.

"Baby I have to help you get cleaned up ok? Son I promise you can trust me. I won't hurt you darling boy." I pleaded with him in my softest voice.

I reached for him again but Tommy backed all the way into the corner of the bathroom and sat there curled up into himself. He cried into his tiny hands. I could see his whole body shaking. I felt my heart break.

"Please son, let me _help_ you," I said.

My voice cracked as I spoke. Tommy looked so scared and ashamed. I just wanted to hold him. I didn't care that he had an accident. I wasn't angry or upset. I was concerned for my son more than anything. His reaction was so..._painful_ to watch.

"I'm sorry Aunt Maura...I didn't m-m-mean too. Please don't hurt me. Don't make me go in the bad place. I'm...I'm...I'm s-s-sorry." Tommy cried and cried.

His voice was high and desperate. He wiped at his eyes furiously but more tears came.

"Baby, I'm not going to hurt you sweetie. You're my son...my _son_. Why would I hurt you baby? I _love_ you and Aunt Janie _loves_ you." I said.

I was confused why he would even think such a thing. My worry and fear compounded in my heart. This level of anxiety had to come from somewhere. Something had happened to my boy, something...I shuddered. Jane ran past me and sat with Tommy on the floor. I could see her trying to force down her tears as she watched him cry. She reached for him with an unsteady hand and brushed his too long hair from his face.

"Buddy, Maura and I aren't going to hurt you. There's no such thing as a bad place here. You're safe here. If you let us clean you up you can lie down again and I'll read you more Batman comics. Does that sound good?" Jane asked him.

Her voice was soft and maternal. She touched him gently. Tommy looked up at her with his pretty but very sad eyes.

"You're not mad at me?" He asked in his little voice.

"No son...we're not mad at you. We just want to help you." Jane said wiping Tommy's tears with her fingers.

Tommy seemed hesitant.

"Please let us help. Don't you wanna be all clean and put on some fresh clothes?" Jane asked him with the warmest smile I'd ever seen on her face.

Tommy looked over at me and I smiled at him too. I opened out my arms for him.

"Come here son," I called to him.

Tommy got up slowly and padded over to me in his bare feet. I kissed his cheeks and smiled at Jane over his shoulder. I pulled Tommy's shirt over his head. Jane covered her mouth before she cried out in dismay. I was so shocked I was motionless. Speech and thought escaped my mind. I felt nothing but shock all the way to the tips of my fingers. This was the first time I'd ever seen Tommy without a shirt on. I understood why he wouldn't take his shirt off even to swim and why he insisted on dressing and bathing himself. I also covered my mouth with my hand to stifle my cries. Tommy never looked up at me. He kept his eyes down and wrapped his stick thin arms around his body. He was covered in bruises. His back was purple and black. I could count all his ribs through his skin he was just that small. I wanted to cry. I wanted to rage and scream. My heart was so broken staring at my son this way I felt like my soul had taken a running leap off a cliff and I was falling and falling. My sweet Tommy, Jane's only nephew had been hurt so badly by someone it was appalling to look upon what had been done to him. I looked over at Jane and she looked shattered. Her hands were shaking, her eyes were wide, but she did not break down. I could see her chest heaving for breath and she set her jaw to keep from crying. But I saw the shock and pain in her eyes. I think seeing the injuries were bringing up some PTSD problems for her. I gritted my teeth. I was so angry I wanted to strangle the life out of his foster 'parents' or whomever was responsible for the state of him. But he was my son and I would not let him see me fall apart in a rage. I feared it would only scare him more and he was such a sweet soft spoken gentle boy. He was beautiful to me. I wrapped him in my arms and lay his head on my shoulder. I kissed his cheeks and rocked him in my arms.

"Baby boy, Maddy's going to take care of you. No one will ever..._ever_ hurt you again." I whispered to him.

My jaw was clenched so tightly my whole face hurt. Jane came over and put her arms around Tommy and me and held us both against her as she cried softly into his shaggy hair. She knew how angry I was because I am sure it was showing all over my face. I knew how hurt and scared she was because it was showing all over her face. But as we looked into each other's eyes, we knew we both had to be strong. We would see our son through this together. I was Jane's strength, she was mine, and we would both be strong for our boy.

"Tommy, tell us what happened to you sweetheart. Who hurt you?" Jane said her voice cracking so badly I could barely hear her.


	34. A Brand New Day

**A/N: Firstly let me apologize for the long long wait for this update. I've been caring for my mother who had surgery and I couldn't focus on this as much as I wanted to. Also once again I wrote like three other chapters and scrapped them before finally managing to get this together. I'd like to thank my poor beta Mrj726 for dealing with me and being patient through this whole process and dedicating her time and attention to make this more beautiful and perfect for me. I'd also like to thank all of you still reading and enjoying this work, your reviews make my day and make all my sacrifices worth while. I hope you enjoy the update, we are very close to the end, please review. With all that being said...here we go. **

**Jane**

Maura cradled Tommy in her arms as she sat in the rocking chair next to our bed. I stopped reading the Batman comic book for a moment just to look at her. Her eyes never left his face. She just kept running her fingers through his hair. From time to time she would kiss and whisper to him. Sometimes I heard what she said to him, sometimes I didn't. Mostly she just said 'I love you son' and she would kiss him again. In those moments, I would fall even further in love with her.

It was a little over an hour since we discovered the bruises on Tommy's back. Within that hour, the terror and anger I felt over knowing someone hurt my son on purpose was as if a knife had been repeatedly twisted in my gut. I wanted to scream I was so furious. I felt insane with grief, guilt, and rage. When I first saw Tommy in the bathroom with his bruised and far too thin body I thought I would lose my mind. I thought for sure Maura would fly into a rage the likes of which I had never seen. I've seen the woman rage more times than I cared to, but if ever there was a time for fury this was surely it. But Maura did not fall apart, scream, yell, or succumb to anger. She held our son in a hug as tightly as she dared while tears streamed down her face. She did not speak for a long while, even as I tried desperately to get Tommy to tell us what happened to him. She wouldn't let go of his body and she wouldn't stop telling him she loved him. Her tears wouldn't stop coming.

My own tears were hot with anger. I knew Maura was angry, but her pain out shadowed all emotions splayed across her face. I pleaded with Tommy to tell me what happened but he wouldn't speak. He held onto Maura, burying his face in her hair. I would not dare to pry him from her arms. Maura's arms were the safest place I'd ever found in the world and there were no other arms I cared to see around Tommy in that moment. Maura took my hand as she rocked our son on the bathroom floor. She held onto me tightly like she needed something from me, like she was afraid to let go. When her eyes met mine red and tear-filled, I thought I would break. I brought her fingers to my lips and kissed them softly. I had unshed tears that wanted desperately to fall, but I held them gritting my teeth with fierce determination. I would not break. Not this time. The agony and wrath I felt was indescribable, but still I tried so hard not to cry. Maura must have seen the pain in my face. She cradled my hot flushed cheeks in her hand and smiled at me through her tears. I held her hand against my face and tried to smile back but when my eyes fell on Tommy's back again all that escaped me was a sob and tears I quickly tried to hide. I lightly kissed my son's back as Maura held him. I brushed my fingers over his black and blue bruises and bit my lip to keep from screaming. I could feel all of his bones under his skin.

I sat quietly by as Maura ran a bath for him and gingerly lowered him into the tub. I wanted to say so many things, but I could find no words of comfort for our son. Maura filled the silence with light-hearted chatter and smiled at Tommy every time his eyes met hers. She was so good to him, so sweet, gentle and kind. He held her hand and never let it go. I knew how much Maura was suffering, I could tell by the forced calm of her voice and the way it would crack from time to time. But still she gave Tommy her best smile and somehow it seemed to calm him.

I wanted to be like Maura, strong and brave, but I was just so tired of suffering and tired of seeing those I loved suffer. I felt guilty that I could offer my son nothing more than my tears, but I prayed with all my heart in thanks that at least Tommy had Maura. When Tommy looked at me in the bathtub with his beautiful eyes, I swear I saw my brother's face looking back at me. I thought of my brother and how much it would hurt him to see his son this way. I lowered my head to hide my face. I could not bear to see how much he suffered. I wiped my eyes furiously as though I could wipe away my hearts torment.

"I'm ok Aunt Janie; please don't make me go back to the bad place." Tommy begged me in that soft little voice of his.

I looked up into his wide sad eyes. I felt my lips quivering and I swallowed hard to keep from crying even more. I reached my hand to his face and stroked his cheek.

"Buddy, I love you s-s-so much. You're the sweetest little boy I've ever k-k-known and you're our son. You're never going back to that place again..._ever_. This is your home now and we will take care of you. Maddy and I will fight for you and you don't have to hurt anymore baby boy. No one will ever hurt you like this again I _swear_ it." My voice was shaking so much it hurt my throat.

But I would tell my son what he needed to hear, the truth, that he was my shining star. Tommy's eyes looked at me. He seemed to look into me like he was praying to find comfort and truth in my words. I could tell he wanted so badly to believe me.

"Do you want to tell us who hurt you sweetheart? I need to know so Maddy and I can protect you. You can trust us we'll keep you safe." I pleaded with him.

Maura squeezed my hand and I felt her shaking slightly next to me. Tommy looked between the two of us and started to speak; then he looked down at the fresh bruises on his tummy and arms and turned his head from us not saying a word. I felt my eyes filling with tears again but Maura squeezed my hand and tried so hard to smile at me. I held back my tears and ran my hands through his curls. I wanted to speak again, but my voice caught in my throat. I wanted him to believe me that we would always keep him safe but I didn't know how. I wanted to see him smile, but I didn't know what to say or do. He had such a sweet face and such a precious smile. Yet, already the world had seen fit to curse him with a pain no child should ever know. It wasn't fair, why did Tommy have to suffer? I started to break down in misery when I felt Maura's arms wrap around me. I felt her kiss on my cheek. I felt her lips in my ear.

"We're going to get through this, we have to be strong for our son right now princess. I _will_ make sure he stays with us from now on; I _will_ fight for our son. I promise you this. But I need you to be brave honey and let our son see you smiling, you can do it, we will do it together." Maura whispered in my ear.

Her words and her breath in my ear sent shivers down my spine. Calm came over me. She wrapped her arm around me tighter and kissed my neck. I closed my eyes and remembered why I loved her so much. I was not alone anymore, I had Maura and she was everything. I took a deep breath. I felt the power of Maura's love and conviction wrap around me and settle me, body and soul. I opened my eyes and saw Maura kissing Tommy's cheeks like she kissed mine and Angela's. Tommy seemed to be as comforted by Maura's touch as I was. He looked up at her as she cradled his face and I saw his body relax. I knew Maura was angry, I knew she was thinking of all the ways to punish those that had hurt our son, but Maura had changed so much since I was raped. Even through her rage, Maura found a way to bring calm to those around her. She just had this way about her, a power and strength in her spirit that could force darkness from minds and hearts. It was a gift she gave only to her family, to me and our children. I have never been as thankful for her as I was at this moment.

"Do I really not gotta go back to the bad place?" Tommy asked softly.

He looked between Maura and me with pleading eyes. I could see just how much he wanted to believe what we were saying was true.

"I _promise_ son, you're home now." Maura said.

She kissed him and tickled his under arms. Her smile was loving and sincere. Tommy squealed and squirmed and giggled. Then he smiled, he actually smiled and he was beautiful.

"Let's get you cleaned up little prince and you can go back to sleep. When you wake up we will have breakfast and Consuela will take you to the fair with Angela and you'll eat junk food, ride rides, play games baby boy and you'll have so much fun. When you get home Maddy and Mommy will read more to you or we can watch a movie or anything you want to do. Whatever you like," Maura said sweetly and lovingly to our son.

I could see tears in her eyes but she held them inside as she spoke to him. It was plain to see she loved him so much, and it was evident in everything she did down to the glow in her eyes when she looked at him. Maura smiled at me and even though her eyes were red and tired and her face was puffy and pale from crying, she was incredibly breathtaking.

"I've never been to a fair before. I don't wanna go Maddy. I wanna stay here with you and mommy." Tommy said rubbing his tired, watery eyes.

My heart soared when he called me mommy. It felt like my heart broke with love. I felt another tear run from my eye, but it was not a tear of sadness. It was joy, unspeakable joy. Maura turned and looked at me; there were tears in her own eyes. She leaned in and kissed my lips and all I felt was happiness.

"If you don't want to go, you don't have to baby boy. But I promise that Consuela will take really good care of you, and you will have so much fun. I want you to have fun, laugh and play. You're a little boy, and that's what little boys do. Maddy and Mommy have some things to do tomorrow, but when you come home from the fair, I promise we will do anything you like." Maura said.

"Will you read to me now?" Tommy asked me.

He had a way of avoiding things, sort of like I did but I smiled at him anyway. Neither Maura nor I would push him just yet. All we had to offer him in the moment was our love.

"You got it baby boy," I winked at him.

Tommy grinned and when he did it made his bruises disappear if only for just a moment.

Maura and I bathed him together. Maura washed his body while I entertained Tommy with Batman comic books. He absorbed the words I read his eyes dreamy and distant. He giggled when Maura washed his feet and laughed when she tickled his sides. He squirmed and splashed around when she tried to wash his ears. He whined and complained when Maura washed his hair. But all the while Maura just smiled at him and calmed him with gentle words. She turned on the jets of the tub and Tommy's eyes went wide before he leaned back and sighed in content as the churning water eased his pain. Maura let Tommy soak for a while in the jets as I read to him. I could see her studying his body and making notes in her head but she kept a smile on her face despite the way I knew she was hurting. She put lotion on his skin when she pulled him from the tub. She took her time. I knew she was noting all his injuries in her mind and new exactly by just looking at him how long the beatings had been happening. She was gentle with him but I noticed her lips thinned, her jaw set, and for a moment I felt a familiar wave of icy chill rolling off of her. But it did not last long. She did not look at me as she observed Tommy's body. I did not want to hear her hypothesis at the moment anyway. I knew Maura would take care of anything Tommy needed but what I needed in that moment was to see him smiling and somehow Maura managed to make that happen. Finally Maura dressed him in a fresh pair of pajamas.

Tommy's eyes were droopy. He was yawning non-stop by the time we brought him back to our bed. He begged me to read to him some more and I indulged him. Maura laid him gently on the bed on his stomach. She laid warm towels across his back to soothe the pain and swelling of the newest bruises. Tommy sighed, closed his eyes, and calm came over his face. Maura softly massaged the muscles in his back with gentle fingers. I knew she was checking for broken bones or internal injuries. She watched his face as she worked. Every slight wince he made, Maura took note and she would touch him more tenderly in that spot. Sometimes I saw her eyes grow so red when Tommy would whimper in pain, I thought she would break down into sobs, but she never did. She would lean down, stroke his hair, kiss him, and whisper I love you again. Tommy responded to her like her voice was magic, the most soothing medicine, and he would relax again.

I read to him as best I could. I tried to make my voice entertaining and exciting, but when he would wince or cry my voice would break, tears would roll from my eyes, and I would have to turn my head. I did not want Tommy to see the pain in my expressions. I could tell it made him anxious, and I wanted to be strong for him like his Maddy. Maura would smile at me when I did this. She would peck my lips and when she told me she loved me, I knew she had never meant it more. Maura rubbed a light salve over Tommy's back to ease the pain in his body. He shuddered and then he smiled when the salve started to work. Maura pulled him into the rocking chair with her. He tangled his little fingers in her hair just like Angela. He said nothing. He just stared at her as she rocked him, sang to him and if I didn't know better I would say he was smiling. Maura held him in her arms and just now his eyes were closing again. I prayed my son found peace in his dreams. When I finally heard the rhythmic breathing of his sleep I sighed in relief. I closed the comic book and rubbed my tired weary eyes. Maura looked as exhausted as me, but still she was as beautiful as the day I first lay eyes on her. I just sat and watched her with Tommy for a while in silence. I loved her so much it hurt.

Finally she looked up at me when Tommy's body relaxed into a deep sleep. That's when her tears came. She buried her face in his curls and cried softly as she rocked him. I was on my feet in an instant. Maura had been my strength through so many trials, but in that moment it seemed as if all her strength was lost. I kneeled beside the rocking chair and pulled her head to rest on my shoulder.

"Baby... Don't cry honey. We can figure this out. We will fix this. It's going to be ok...we're going to fix this." I tried to assure my love, but she only cried harder. Her body shook with her sobs. She held our son even more tightly against her.

I was surprised by her reaction. I had expected so many things from Maura in this moment. Where was her rage, where was her fury, where was the titan of a woman I had come to know? It was me that always broke down; it was me that always surrendered to the pain and the darkness. But in that moment it seemed like the darkness was closing in on Maura and she had no strength left to fight. I clenched my teeth and set my jaw. I pulled her head from my shoulder and looked deep into her eyes. She just looked so sad, almost defeated; it was a look I'd never seen in her face before. I ran my fingers through her hair and pulled her lips to mine. I kissed her with all the love in my heart. She kissed me back timidly at first, but I did not stop and she did not push me away. When I pulled out of the kiss we just stared at each other, into one another. Whatever strength I had I gave to her, she could have all of me that she needed, and she was my everything.

"We _will_ get through this baby." I whispered softly.

Tommy squirmed in Maura's arms and whimpered like he was in pain. His face scrunched up like he was having a nightmare. In an instant, Maura's eyes were only for her son. She shushed him softly and kissed his cheeks. She sang to him a sweet lullaby and smiled at him when his body stilled into sleep again. I kissed the top of his head and Maura took my hand again. It was a while before she spoke and when she did her voice sounded tired and hollow as if she was in a dream.

"From the day I met you I've been fighting," She finally spoke softly. "From the day I met you I've been fighting for you, for Angela, for us. I feel like sometimes I'm fighting the whole world baby, like everything is against us. But I keep fighting, I keep pushing, I keep going because I believe...because I _know_ you're worth it, we're worth it, that one day if I fight hard enough we'll be happy together and we won't have to fight anymore. I thought it was over, I thought...I thought after we made love last night that we had finally won, that we would be happy for real...forever. But now... _this_... our little boy... He needs so much. But I feel like I don't know what to give him, like I don't know if I have anything left to give. I would do anything for you...I would _die_ for you and my daughter...and I would die for him too Janie, for our son. I'll give everything I've got if it takes my last breath." Maura paused and closed her eyes. Her face was so full of pain it broke my heart. I touched her face but she did not look at me. Her eyes lowered and her tears fell on Tommy's face.

"I am _so_ tired. I feel...weak and I know I must be strong, my son needs me." Maura could barely speak, her eyes closed again and her voice waivered and broke. But when she opened her eyes and looked down at Tommy she smiled. She pulled him tighter into her body and rocked him slowly. "I only know I love him. I will always love him." Maura looked up at me.

Her eyes were sparking with tears and she swallowed many times. My heart seemed to bleed as I looked at her. She suddenly looked so weary as if the months of battles and sacrifices she made on my behalf were all rushing in and robbing her of her light. As I looked into her eyes I realized just how much and how hard she _did_ fight, that she was _still_ fighting for me and my happiness. I was overcome with love and the truth of her love for me. I cradled her face in my hands. I wanted to speak but I could find no words. I wanted to cry but I held it in. I wanted Maura to see me smiling; she _needed_ to see me smiling. She needed to know that all her sacrifices and all the love she gave me, she did not give in vain.

I leaned in and kissed her lips again. She kissed me back without hesitation and the world fell away. She still loved me; somehow...this woman _still_ loved me. I pulled out of the kiss and her eyes were shining. One tear fell from her eye and one of mine fell in return. For one moment, I forgot the wars of the outside world; I forgot everything that wasn't my angel. My fingers slid through the silk of her hair and she smiled at me, that beautiful smile that had taken my heart the very first time I ever saw it. Even still, even now, even as my son needed us both so badly, it was _that_ smile that gave me strength.

"You're the greatest woman I have ever known. You saved me from myself, saved our daughter, gave me hope when I saw only darkness and I will _always_ love you. I will _always_ be grateful to you. You're the reason I breathe and you are not alone anymore Angel. I'm here...I'm _right_ here with you. I'm not weak anymore and I _will_ fight with you. We are going to do this together; we are going to show Tommy that this is his safe place. He's gonna know that Maddy and Mommy will be there for him, love him and make a home for him where he feels safe and happy. When breakfast is over, you and I and James will sit down and we'll figure out what we have to do. I know there is nothing we won't do to save our son. That's why I'm not afraid, that's why I'm not crying, because I _know_ I have nothing to worry about. I could not have picked a better Maddy for my babies or a better lover for my bed. I'm yours forever." I whispered against Maura's lips.

Maura closed her eyes for a few brief moments. I saw her take a deep breath.

"Are you really with me forever, Janie?" Maura said so softly I could barely hear her even though her lips were brushing against mine.

Her eyes shined with desperation, hope, and even fear. She looked so vulnerable and innocent like her heart was truly in my hands. I took her hand in mine and brought her fingers to my lips. I gave them the softest kiss and let my lips linger there.

"Yes baby. I could never and will never leave you." I said with a voice shaky and painful in my throat.

I looked at her through eyes blurry with tears. Even as my son lay in her arms beaten and bruised, even as the day promised to be a battle to save Tommy, even as tired, drained, and exhausted as we both were I could feel nothing more in my heart than joy and happiness. Even through my pain, I had always loved her, I would _always_ love her.

Maura's chin quivered and she looked back down at our son. Tears rolled from her cheeks and landed in his hair. I kissed her fingers again when she started to speak.

"If I ever lost you Janie, if you left me and took our babies...my little boy and my little girl..." Maura kissed Tommy's face again and more tears fell from her eyes. "You and my children are all I have, you're all I dream of, you're all the reason I live and breathe. If you took my babies from me, if you left, I would have nothing else to live for, it would kill me. You are my heart and my home, you and our children."

Maura never looked up at me as she spoke. She just looked at our son's face as she tangled her fingers in his hair. I kissed her fingers and tried to kiss her lips, but it's as if her mind had wandered to some cold, lonely, desolate place. I saw her jaw working and her eyes looked sadder than I'd ever seen them. I sat back on my heels and watched her as a shadow crept over her usually cheerful face. Anger rose in me. I would not let the world fill her mind with doubts and fears. Not over that this was truer than even the beating of my heart, the truth that I loved her. I did not think. I did not have to think. I rose to my feet and walked to my dresser. I pulled out what I wanted inside and returned to her side. I lowered myself to my knees again. I held the ring behind my back. Maura looked at me inquisitively. I smiled at her through eyes quickly filling with tears. I just looked at her for a long while. She was so lovely..._so_ gorgeous.

I thought of the first time I ever saw her in her hotel's bar when I was so low with grief and pain I thought nothing more of myself than a whore. I thought of the way she fought for me against Claire Haverty when she knew little more of me than my name. I thought of the way she fought for Angela and saved her life when she'd never even seen her face. I thought of the first time she brought me to her apartment in the city and the way I felt when I fell asleep in her arms. Even though I barely knew her then she made me feel safe for the first time in five years. I thought of the smile on her face when she gave me Franklin Thomas just so I wouldn't be alone at night while she was gone. I thought of the first time she kissed me, it felt like I was drowning because I could barely breathe. I thought of the first time she held our daughter in her arms and the look on her face as she fell in love with Angela. I thought of the day we brought Angela home and how proud Maura was to show her off to everyone we met on the way to the apartment. I thought of the first time we made love and she literally blew my mind over and over again. I thought of the way she looked at me, even after I was raped. She looked at me that same way now as she did every moment she cared for me in my darkness and my pain. She looked at me like I was beautiful, like she loved me, like she loved _only_ me.

I thought of the cold, dark apartment where I used to live. I thought of going without food for myself so I could feed my child. I thought of the sad little cake I made Angela for her first birthday. The second hand toys I bought and the tears I cried because I could do no better for her. I thought of my broken heart I felt over the love for my child and the hatred for myself that I was not enough for her. I thought of the choice I made to sell my body because I had nothing more to offer the world and no other way to feed my child. And then there was Maura. She took me as I was, never looked at me like I was nothing, treated me better than I ever treated myself, and loved me more than I ever imagined possible. As I looked at Maura I thought of everything. So heavy was the weight of my love and my emotions that I doubled over as I kneeled beside her. My chest burned and heaved; I felt my heart racing. I realized at one point I was crying, crying from the depths of me. The power of all I felt for Maura was more than my heart or my mind could handle in this moment. Maura rose to her feet and lay Tommy in our bed. She kneeled on the floor in front of me and pulled me up. I must have looked an awful mess. I was crying so hard my nose was running, I could barely see, and I was hiccupping my sobs were so ferocious. I tried to hide my face from Maura, but she held me still. I felt her warm hands on my cheeks. She kissed my lips as best she could through my tears. She brushed my hair from my face and nuzzled her lips against my ear pulling me into a tight embrace.

"Let it out baby. You can cry. I'm here...I'm right here." She whispered in my ear.

"I'll n-never leave you Maura. I love you...I _love_ you...I _**love**_ you," I said in great gasping breaths. I wanted so desperately to calm myself down enough to talk but the tighter Maura held me and the more she kissed my neck and my face and whispered how beautiful I was to her in my ear the more I fell apart.

"It's ok Princess. I love you too; you know I love you too." Maura said as she rocked me in her arms.

"No...I need you to hear me...I need to say this." I said pulling back and looking at Maura who just smiled at me.

"What is it baby?" She asked as she ran a finger under my jaw and kissed my lips.

When our lips touched it was like fire and calm ran all through my body. I whimpered softly in the kiss and my eyes closed. Truly if there were a heaven I was in that place. I felt Maura's body shudder before she pulled slowly from the kiss.

"Marry me," I whispered right at the moment when our lips parted.

The words just tumbled out of my mouth without a thought. I could not have been more certain about any one thing as I was that I was and would always be Maura's forever. She-was-my-everything Maura's body froze. Her lips hovered just before mine, I could feel the warmth of her body and her sweet breath across my face but she did not move and she did not speak. When I dared to look up into her eyes they looked deeper into me than they ever had. Her face was a mask; her eyes blazed a crimson color I'd never seen. We did not speak or move and we just stared at each other. The first rays of the rising sun cast a soft glow of pink and orange colors through our bedroom windows. Maura's hair seemed to shine like gold in the gentle light of dawn. I could hear birds singing in the trees outside. I could hear the tinkle of the wind chimes. I could hear the honking of the ducks in the pond. I could hear the rustling of leaves as squirrels played in the trees. But the air around me was intensely still and silent. I thought perhaps she did not hear me by her silence. But I knew she had, I could see it in her eyes. I slowly pulled the ring from behind my back and held it in my hands between us. I opened the box and smiled at the pretty three stone ring. They were not huge diamonds by any means, but they sparkled like her eyes and the band was a light rose gold ornately designed and unique. I bought it will all the money I had that was my own and I picked it out just for her. I looked up at Maura. I held my breath. I suddenly grew so nervous my palms were sweating and I thought I might vomit. Maura still hadn't moved but as I looked closer I saw the tears streaming from her eyes as she looked down at the ring.

"I bought it with my own money Maura. Your mom sold all my stuff for me from my old place and I spent all of it on this ring. I liked the rose gold band and the way they spun the gold into flowers around the diamonds. It was the only ring like it and I went to like eight different places but when I saw this one...I wanted you to have it...I want you to be mine. I know it's not big and everything and I know you could have someone that could give you huge diamonds and make you happier but... I'm sorry Maura… I couldn't wait and…"

"It's _beautiful_ Janie...it's _so, so_ beautiful." Maura whispered.

She covered her mouth with her shaking hand as she cried. My heart soared. I smiled at her through my tears.

"When I say I want forever with you, I've never meant anything more. I promise Maura Isles to love you, honor you, respect you, stand by you, to follow wherever you lead, to be faithful in all that I do, to never betray you, to raise our son and our daughter and give you as many more children as we decide to have. I promise to consider you above all others, to make love to you as often as you'll have me, to make your home beautiful and full of laughter, to bring you joy and happiness until my dying day. I vow all these things, I will be anything and everything you need, want, or desire, I swear I am yours in spirit and truth forever if you will have me. I will never, _ever_ let you go wanting again; I promise...I _promise_ Maura...will you marry me..." I said but before I could complete my thought her lips were on mine and I was on my back.

She could barely kiss me through her tears and I was so surprised it took my mind a second to catch up to what was going on. I tried to hold onto Maura but her body was shaking uncontrollably and our kisses were sloppy through all her tears. She kept whimpering and saying things but I couldn't understand her, I don't know if she was talking in a different language or just wasn't making any sense. I just smiled and giggled as she kissed me all over my face and neck.

"Maura... Honey…" I gasped when I felt Maura's hand running up the inside of my thigh.

"Oh _Jesus_ sweetheart calm down," I shuddered and pulled Maura's hand from between my legs.

Maura's eyes were on fire all of a sudden. Her gaze struck me like lightening. She tore at my night gown. I squealed and slapped at her hands.

"Baby _stop_, the boy is sleeping two feet from us." I sighed.

Maura pouted.

"You promised you'd make love to me whenever I wanted." Maura said looking down at me with raised eye brows and a decided grump on her face.

I didn't know whether to laugh or roll my eyes. The woman's mood changed like the seasons in an instant.

"When we are _married_ and I am your _wife_ you may have me as you like. You haven't given me an answer." I spat back at Maura raising my own eye brows at her. I dangled the ring in front of her and smiled sweetly.

Maura's eyes ran all over my body. I noticed my night gown was pushed up around my waist and certain parts of me were clearly exposed. Maura grinned from ear to ear.

I knew that look. "Oh my God, Maura…" I said trying to pull down the hem of my night gown but before I knew it I was pulled to my feet and dragged down the hallway to Maura's office.

"Baby slow down...where are we going? You haven't given me an answer...what's happening right now?" I whispered to Maura.

Maura pulled me into her office, closed the door behind us, and was on her knees fumbling with the lock on her safe. She didn't speak or answer my question. Her hands were shaking so badly she could barely work the combination lock. As far as I knew all Maura ever kept in her safe were important papers and stacks of money. I didn't understand what was going on.

"You don't have to pay me to be your wife Maura, just say yes and I'll do it for free." I teased her.

Maura looked up at me for a moment. I thought she was angry with me, and then she just looked very sad.

"I _love_ you Jane Rizzoli," She said softly.

Her eyes were shining with sincerity.

"I know you do baby, so say yes." I pleaded with her.

Maura just smiled and tried to open the safe but it wouldn't budge.

"Come on damn you!" Maura said slamming her fist on top of the safe making a great banging noise.

"Maura what the hell is _wrong_ with you? You're going to wake up the whole house calm down." I hissed at her.

I was growing more and more confused about what the fuck was going on and why on earth she was acting so strangely. Maura was muttering to herself and cursing at the safe as she fumbled with the combination lock again. She tried to pull the safe open again but still it would not budge. Maura cursed so loudly I thought everyone in the house could probably hear her. She picked up a stapler from her desk and started banging on the top of the safe like a crazy person.

"Maura!" I wailed at her snatching the stapler from her hands. "What the fuck is _wrong_ with you?"

I was hissing and spitting at her wide eyed and panicked. Maura was crazily trying to unlock the safe. She was nearly hysterical. I kneeled next to her and tried to take her hands but she slapped them away.

"Owww, what the hell Maura you're being ridiculous right now. You're gonna wake up everybody in the house." I yelled.

Finally the safe door swung open and Maura cackled with excitement. She grabbed something from inside the safe and presented it to me. It was my turn to be frozen in shock. I blinked a million times trying to make sure what I was seeing wasn't a mirage. I was truly and literally speechless. Staring up at me was a ring more beautiful than any I'd ever seen. The diamonds were huge as big as marbles. I couldn't take my eyes off the thing, I felt my jaw hanging open and my face scrunched up in disbelief. Maura took my shaking hand and smiled at me.

"You are the love of my life. You are the sun that rises and the moon that shines at night. You are all I dream of and the mother of my children. Every morning I wake beside you I thank God he brought me to you. When you are in my arms there is no place I'd rather be, _you_ are my home and my sanctuary." Maura's voice broke and her eyes filled with tears.

She kissed my hand and touched my face. It was as if my mind had gone blank. All I could hear was the ringing in my ears from the blood rushing in my veins and Maura's sweet, soft words. I looked at her and knew the tears that fell from her eyes were those of joy, happiness, hope, and the love she had only for me. She leaned her forehead against mine and brushed my lips lightly with her fingers. I could not speak, I tried but only whimpers came out. She kissed me and I was floating.

"I promise Jane Clementine Rizzoli to love and honor you for all of my days, to care for you, provide for you, to devote my life to making sure you and our children want for nothing. I promise to listen to you when you challenge me, to consider you above all others, to respect you, to stand by you, to never lead you astray. I promise to provide this family and whatever children we may have in the future with all the opportunities I possibly can. I promise you protection. I promise you sanctuary in my arms. I promise you I will fight so that you never cry again and if I fail you in that my shoulder will always be there for you to lay your head. I promise to defend you against any enemy, to cherish you and all the exquisiteness you are and make of my home. I promise to be faithful to you always, forsaking all others. I promise to be yours in spirit and truth, love and devotion, now and forever I will be yours. Will you marry me?" Maura said with a voice trembling with emotion.

By the time she was finished talking her eyes were sparkling like the diamonds of the ring she held out to me. She looked so hopeful, her face was so bright and cheerful I couldn't help but to smile at her. I tried to speak but I could find no words. All the dreams I'd ever had of this moment could not compare to what I felt. It felt as though my heart would explode I was so overcome. Maura _did_ want me, forever. Her heart was mine and my heart was hers. I ran my fingers through her beautiful golden hair; the tears I cried were painful but unstoppable. I only managed to nod as tears poured from my eyes again. The smile Maura gave me was pure sunshine. She slipped the ring on my finger, her hands were shaking as badly as mine, but the ring fit perfectly. I slipped my ring on her finger and Maura's tears fell onto both our hands, but her ring fit perfectly. I breathed a sigh of relief, for the first time in five years...I was truly not alone. A peace engulfed my mind and body and all pain fell away. Even though I was crying, I'd never been so happy. Maura took my face in her hands and brushed her lips against mine.

"My princess...my wife," She whispered to me.

"My angel...my wife," I whispered back.

We kissed for what could have been seconds, minutes, or hours, I did not know and it did not matter. That kiss, every kiss, was ours forever. She lay me down on the cool hardwood floor of her office. She covered my body with hers. She pulled off my night gown and gasped when she saw my body beneath her. Her tears dotted my warm flesh. She ran her fingers over my skin touching every part of me followed by the softest kiss of her trembling lips. I gasped and moaned as she kissed me. I felt her hair flowing over my body and sighed. I closed my eyes and absorbed her warmth. I held the back of her head and my body rolled and shuddered as her tongue teased my belly button and trailed down my abdomen. She caressed my breasts and kissed my thighs. She kissed my legs all the way down to my feet and I squealed when she kissed my toes slipping them into her mouth and grinning at me.

"Gross Maura. Ewwww!" I giggled and tried to pull away but she held me still.

"I love every part of you...all the way down to your tippy toes," She cooed at me between circling her tongue between my toes again.

I squirmed and whimpered, but I could not deny the arousal building in my body. I ran my other foot up her leg and cried out when she pulled her robe away from her body and all I could see was her glowing softly tanned skin and her beautiful breasts and her hard pink nipples. The light of the rising sun seemed to make her body radiate beauty. I ran my finger tips down her chest and felt myself come alive with hunger, desire, and happiness. It felt like my fingers on her flesh made sparks of electricity run up my arms and all through my body. Maura shuddered every time I touched her. She grabbed my thighs and pulled me into her. She spread my legs and settled herself between them. I closed my eyes and ran my hands down her back as she took my breast in her mouth. I cupped her ass in my hands and grinned. I felt her shaking on top of me.

"I love you Janie." She whispered in my ear as I felt her hand move between my legs.

I cried out in bliss. I cupped her breasts in my hands and squeezed her nipples. Maura let out a low, guttural, hungry growl in my ear. We kissed and kissed and kissed. I savored her body, every ripple of her muscles, every hair on her head, and every whisper in my ear. The fire between my legs was like nothing I ever felt. Every time she kissed me I thought I would explode and I felt my thighs moisten even further. Maura teased my clit, smiled down at me nipping my lips and moaning at me at how wet I was but she never moved to relieve me of my mounting hunger. I squirmed and cried out to her, I begged her to take me but she would only kiss me and whisper sweet words in my ear as my body went crazy beneath her.

"_Please_ Maura," I begged her. I felt my eyes burning with desperation. "I'll make you happy; I'll be a wonderful wife to you always. Please make love to me baby...I'll make you happy."

Maura just smiled at me. She kissed my eyes, my nose, my cheeks, my lips, my chin, my neck, my chest...everything.

"You already make me happy princess," She said in that low deep voice that made me crazy.

She pushed her thigh against my throbbing wet vagina. She pulled me down into her by my shoulders and I screamed in pleasure. I bit my lip as she moved her thigh between my legs. I whimpered and grabbed her around the waist pushing my body against her leg harder.

"Oh GOD that feels _**so**_ good," I said in a shaking unsteady voice.

Maura nipped at my lips and managed to spread my legs wider. I moaned and rolled my hips into her. Maura's voice was so deep and sexy and I sounded like a screaming, crying, mess but the smile on her face as she slowly started to slide her leg through my vagina over and over was devilish and knowing. I felt myself soaking her thigh. I could hear the soft, squishing sounds her leg between mine made as my ecstasy flowed out of me and all over her. I squealed, cried, and squirmed but Maura held me still with a strength she only showed when we were together this way. Every time she pushed her leg against me I moaned in my raspy desperate voice. Louder and louder my cries grew. Maura took her time. Her hips moved on top of me as her leg worked. I could feel the muscles in her thighs trembling against my clit. Her movements were slow and methodical but every move she made served only one purpose and that was to please me. Maura knew every inch of my body and knew exactly what to say to make me crazy. I wrapped my hand in her hair and dug my nails into her ass. Maura cried out, her body tensed on top of me. She looked down at me with burning eyes.

"Please baby... _Please_ don't stop." I pleaded with her.

Maura grinned at me slyly.

"I'm never going to stop." Maura said pulling my left hand from her ass and smiling down at her ring on my finger. "I'm _never_ going to stop." She said again softly before she kissed the ring and kissed me again.

The kiss took my breath away.

"You better not," I said narrowing my eyes at her playfully and digging my nails in her ass again.

Maura's eyes caught fire again and she pulled me up and into her arms. I squealed and wrapped my legs around her waist as she twirled me in a circle. Maura's smile was beautiful as she held me in her arms. The morning sun caught her golden curls in its soft light. It was a whole new day in a whole new world that Maura and I had made together and would share ourselves this way with each other forever. I stretched out my arms and closed my eyes as Maura spun me around. I felt like I was truly flying, like I was dancing in the clouds, like there was nothing and no one that could bring me down from this place. I had Maura and she would always love me...I knew it...I _knew_ it...I _**knew**_ it.

Maura sat down in her office chair and I straddled her. She pulled me into another kiss and shifted our bodies so her thigh was between legs again. This time I felt her fingers against my clit along with her leg.

"Oh GOD," I cried.

Maura curled her fingers against my clit and my body erupted in sexual arousal all over again. She took my nipple in her mouth and circled it with her tongue. I shut my eyes tightly. I felt my breath come faster and faster between my pursed lips. I rolled my hips and my sex against Maura's leg. Maura's fingers circled my clit slowly, her hand was soaking wet. My entire body shuddered.

"_Baby_," I moaned.

Maura's eyes were almost a clear hazel in the morning sun but I didn't miss the hunger in them. She ran her nails down my stomach and bit her lip as she looked up at me straddling her and grinding my hips against her leg and fingers.

"My pretty princess... My pretty wife," She said breathily at me with low heavy eyes.

"My angel... My wife," I responded to her in kind.

Maura smiled when I called her my wife. She wrapped her arms around my waist and pulled me into her body.

"Ride me sweet heart," She whispered in my ear. "Ride me like you're mine."

I felt her fingers pick up their pace between my legs. I gasped and grabbed her desk behind me. My back arched and I planted my feet. I started grinding against her slowly; my whole body rolled and shook. Maura's leg was pulsating against my sex but she gritted her teeth and held it as still as she could. I felt my insides going crazy, my stomach muscles clenched and convulsed. My sex throbbed and leaked all over her. My heart was racing. My skin exploded in goose bumps and sweat. I rode Maura faster, as hard as I dared. The fire in me was painful, my body screamed in pleasure. Maura looked up at me eyes ablaze and her expression stone but so, _**so**_ sexy. She grabbed my hair and pulled my head back. Her fingers were moving between my legs with lightening speed as I rode her faster and faster. My pleasure exploded out of me and all over her when she bit my nipple. My back arched so hard I fell back into her crying and stuttering and gasping for breath. She laid me on the floor and I had my way with her, but this time it was sweet, slow, and beautiful. Our eyes held each other's gaze as she gave herself to me. Her every moan, every shudder, every tear that rolled from her eyes and every whisper against my lips was passion, splendor, and meant only for me. I relished in the truth that her body was mine, my temple, and no other being would ever know her this way. Her body was magnificent, truly one of an angel, and every time her body rolled in bliss it brought tears to my eyes. As I drove her further and further toward her pleasure she cried sweet but sometimes dirty things in my ear. I licked the salt of her sweaty skin and felt her muscles tremble beneath my lips. She wrapped her hands in my hair, spread her legs for me, and begged me to do all manner of things to her. I did all that she asked and she surrendered herself to me. When her climax came she held me against her so tightly I nearly lost my breath. When she cried my name out, there were tears in her eyes. She cradled my face in her hands and I caught sight of the glittering ring on her finger and smiled. We made love for what felt like forever careless of the outside world. Our worlds collided in frenzy and we only knew each other. I let her ravish me in all the ways she wanted and cried every time my orgasms came. I came so hard one time I blacked out for a few seconds and I thought I might die from the ecstasy in my body and the love in my heart. I lay whimpering and crying on the office floor hardly able to catch my breath. Maura panted and squirmed on top of me trembling from the throes of passion. I loved it when she wiggled on top of me naked. We did not speak at all. We just lay with each other lost in thoughts and dreams that were now living breathing things. Maura was my dream and she was mine. I smiled every time I saw her ring on my finger. I thumbed it and kissed it over and over again. Maura stared down at me running her fingers in my hair. She noticed me playing with my ring and her smile was telling. I blushed and turned my head. Maura caught my chin and made me look at her.

"You don't have to hide that pretty smile from me princess, you're my bride...I always want to see your smile." She whispered to me.

I just wrapped my arms around her neck and took her lips with mine. Her warm body over me made me shudder. I felt safe, happy, and home. Maura lifted me into her arms and carried me back to our bedroom laying me gently on the bed. She covered me with blankets and kissed me sweetly. She pulled our son back into her arms and sat with him in the rocking chair again. I could see her ring shining on her finger as she brushed his cheeks. Maura sat back and looked at me as she rocked our son.

"He and Angela really are my children now," Maura said softly.

"Baby...they've always been yours." I said honestly.

Maura smiled back but I knew she was thinking hard about something. Her smile, while genuine, was slightly forced. She looked back down at our son and kissed his face.

"He's never going back to that place Jane. I don't care what it takes or who I have to squash he's _never_ going back to that place. My son is staying right here in this home where he belongs." Maura's voice was laced with ferocity and her eyes blazed like fire.

I found it in myself to smile.

"I know angel...I know."

...

**James**

"Who's that screaming, Daddy? Is Ms. Maura getting hurt?" My son Francis asked as he climbed into the bed with his brother behind him.

I sat up quickly and pulled my son's heads against my chest covering their ears. I looked over at Molly holding our daughter. I knew my eyes were wide and my expression must have been gape jawed terror. Molly just rolled her eyes and turned her head. If I didn't know any better I'd say she was trying to hide a smile. I'd woken up over an hour ago sitting straight up in bed and scared someone had broken into the house and was killing Maura and Jane. I jumped out of bed and grabbed the bat it the corner thinking we were under attack until Molly grabbed my arm and started laughing. I looked at her incredulously.

"Honey, relax." Molly said trying to pull me back in bed.

"What the fuck is all that noise?" I asked her.

Molly just raised her eye brows at me and grinned mischievously. I was confused until I realized very quickly what all the screaming was about. That's when my jaw dropped.

"Jesus CHRIST!" I exclaimed.

I looked over at the clock and shook my head.

"It's five fucking thirty in the morning," I wailed. "Didn't they just do it last night?"

Molly giggled.

"They're in _love_ James. I think it's sweet and beautiful." My wife said.

"Don't they ever get _tired_," I wailed. "They're like little sex engines...it just keeps GOING!"

"Women aren't like men, James. They don't need a recovery period. It's so sweet that Maura makes Jane feel safe enough to have sex again after everything they've been through. They're such a good couple. It's precious." Molly said cheerily.

I looked at her like she was crazy.

"It's nice that they have sex but good grief, do we _all_ have to **hear** it? And the things they're saying...excuse me _screaming_ don't sound all that precious to me," I huffed.

Molly rolled her eyes.

"I know something you don't know." Molly said with a sly grin.

"What's that, Maura and Jane have a sex swing in their bedroom?" I chuckled.

"No!" Molly spat at me before her grin returned to her face. "Maura is going to ask Jane to marry her. She asked me to be a bride's maid."

Molly clapped her hands and was bristling with excitement.

"NO _way_." I said.

"YES way. She showed me the ring and everything. It's huge and so pretty and I can't wait to be her bride's maid. Their wedding is going to be amazing. I bet half of New York will be there, the social event of the season. Can you imagine the engagement and the bachelorette parties and the wedding reception? I cannot _wait_!" Molly was vibrating with glee. I was far less enthusiastic; the last thing on my mind was parties and receptions.

"They're getting _married_? Oh God just when I thought I was going to get a break. Do you know how much paper work is involved in all this? I will have to draw up Prenups and adoption papers for Tommy and Angela. Trusts for Tommy, I know Maura is going to want Jane's name on everything, the house, the cars, the accounts, the 401 k's, the investment funds, the IRA's. She's gonna probably want to change her will too. Oh sweet Lord this is going to be a nightmare." I sighed.

"James," Molly said my name in that way that meant I was in trouble if I kept on talking. "You will not ruin this for them. You are Maura's attorney but you are also her friend and you will be happy for them."

"Oh I'm _happy_ for them. They're happy too by the sound of it." I grumbled.

Molly thinned her lips at me and frowned.

"And for the record I doubt there will be a prenuptial agreement. It doesn't sound like Jane's going anywhere," Molly chuckled.

"I'll have to talk to Maura about that. She needs one. She's worth a ridiculous amount of money, she _needs_ a prenup. I'll talk to her about it before we head back to the city. That is if they ever stop FUCKING!" I sighed.

"Don't rain on her parade, James." Molly warned me.

"I'm _not_; it's my job as her attorney to protect her." I insisted.

"It's your job as her _friend_ to support any decision she makes. You supported her getting together with Jane what's changed?"

"Nothing...and I didn't exactly support this from the start but Jane grew on me." I said honestly. I was quiet as I thought a while. "Jane is very sweet to Maura."

"I know...she's never hurt Maura and she makes Maura happy. Maura's much different than the controlling hideous bitch she used to be." Molly smiled.

"Yes she is." I was forced to admit. "I can _hear_ how much Jane makes her happy." I rolled my eyes as another wave of Maura's screams bombarded my ears.

I sighed and shook my head. I was so tired I could have dropped dead. I was quickly thinking it would have been best to drive home yesterday and I would have done just that if I knew Maura and Jane's house was little better than the bunny ranch. Molly and I stayed awake half the night last night listening to Jane and Maura 'getting along'. I was so freaked out I wanted to go sleep in the car but Molly wouldn't let me. I just had to lie there, wide-eyed and disturbed. I never knew Maura was capable of saying some of the things I heard her scream last night. I never _wanted_ to know Maura ever said that kind of stuff..._ever_. Worse their room was way on the other side of the house but I could hear _everything_ and it just kept happening over and _over_ and _**over**_ like raunchy porn on replay. Maura was my friend and so was Jane but more than that Maura was my boss and Jane was her girlfriend and while I knew they 'got it on' I damn sure didn't want front row seats to the sounds of their late night freak fest. I would rather go deaf. How could I ever face Maura again and sit across from her in meetings and shit and not think about all the _noise_ she made. Maura had always been so proper, and prim, almost icy in the past and while it was irritating sometimes I found I preferred seeing her as the ice queen verses...a _sex_ monster. The absolutely worst part was that Molly seemed to be far less averse to the goings on in Maura's bedroom than I was. She actually tried to get it on with me in the middle of it all and I jumped out of bed so fast I fell and bumped my head against the dresser. There was _no_ _way_ I could get it up with the sounds of my boss fucking her girlfriend in the back ground. I just wanted to bury my head in the sand and pretend it wasn't happening and it freaked me out worse that my wife seemed to be turned on by the whole thing. Molly pouted all the rest of the night and complained all about how we used to be like that. It was the last thing I wanted to hear on top of hearing all of Jane and Maura's noise. When they finally stopped I rolled over and went to sleep cursing Maura in my head for forcing me to listen to her and now my wife was mad at me because I wasn't 'romantic' enough. I thought at least I'd get a few hours of good sleep before I had to deal with sitting at the same breakfast table as the little love birds and pretend I hadn't heard exactly what I had. But that wasn't the case. They were at it again..._again_ and had woken up everyone in the house.

"It's ok boys. Ms. Maura is just...ummm...she's...ummm." I looked over at Molly begging for help.

I had no earthly idea what in the hell I was supposed to say. Molly just smiled and lay Juliette in a bassinette before crawling back in bed with me and the boys.

"Ms. Maura is very happy right now boys. When two grown-ups make each other very happy the way Ms. Jane and Ms. Maura make each other happy, they express their happiness in certain ways that can sometimes be a bit noisy. But we won't mention it when we go down to breakfast. It's private between the two of them ok?" Molly said.

Francis, my oldest boy, pulled out of my arms and scrunched up his face.

"But what are they doing? I get in trouble if I scream in the house, how come you're not mad at them?" He asked quizzically.

"I _am_," I mumbled.

Molly nudged me in the ribs.

"They are adults and this is their home and they can scream if they want to," Molly stated boldly.

"Are they having sex?" My younger son Joseph asked.

I choked on my spit. Joseph looked at us with wide, curious, innocent eyes.

"What would make you say that honey?" Molly asked.

"You sound like that at night too Mommy," Francis said.

Both Molly and I were shocked this time. We looked at each other wide-eyed before I grabbed the remote, found some cartoons, and turned up the volume as loudly as we could stand it. I gnashed my teeth and wished to God this was all just a bad dream. By the time Maura and Jane's escapades were over it was after nine in the morning and my stomach was grumbling for food. I cracked the door of the bedroom in Maura's ridiculously huge house and peeked outside making sure there wasn't anything unseemly going on in the hallways. The smell of bacon and eggs hit my nose and my mouth began to water.

"Ok guys, I think it's safe to go down for breakfast." I sighed in relief.

My family trooped downstairs in our pajamas heading toward the smell of Consuela's delicious cooking.

"Oh Mr. James you look like you no sleep last night," Consuela said in greeting.

"I didn't," I huffed sitting down heavily in a chair.

Consuela dumped a load of scrambled eggs on my plate and I tore into them greedily. Consuela didn't look any better than I did I noticed and her face was even more pinched and strained than usual.

"How did _you_ sleep?" I asked her slyly.

Consuela just pursed her lips.

"I sleep just fine," She said curtly before turning away.

I swear I heard her grumbling something about sexing and screaming as she walked away. I stifled a chuckle. Angela squealed in her high chair and shoved eggs in her mouth with her hands. I noticed she was dressed and cheery this morning, but there was no sign of Jane or Maura. I assumed Consuela had dressed the girl and hopefully saved her from all her mother's noise last night. Everyone was well into their orange juice and coffee when Jane and Maura finally walked into the kitchen looking exhausted but glowing from the inside out. Maura was holding Tommy in her arms. Somehow he looked better rested than everyone else despite the fact that his bedroom was closer to Jane and Maura's than anyone else's. Jane looked dazed and unsteady. She sat carefully in her chair at one end of the table. She looked at me and I tried to smile, but she blushed and turned her head.

"Good morning everyone," Maura said politely.

"Good morning," We all mumbled in return.

Angela squealed when she saw Jane and Maura.

"Maddy," Angela said cheerily with eggs all over her face.

Maura smiled at her daughter and brushed her face clean with a towel before leaning down and kissing her daughter.

"Good morning sweet girl, did you sleep well last night?" Maura said softly and kissing Angela all over the face.

"Probably not," I mumbled under my breath and felt my wife kick me beneath the table.

Maura raised her eye brows at me and I fell silent lowering my head to my plate and focusing on my food. Maura turned back to her daughter and continued to tease and play with her. Angela kicked her feet in her high chair and giggled up at Maura. Jane's smile widened as she watched Maura with Angela. Usually Maura sat at the other end of the huge dining table opposite Jane but this morning she took a seat right next to Jane. Maura never let go of the boy who seemed quiet this morning. Tommy laid his head against Maura's chest and never spoke and never lifted his eyes. Jane looked sad sometimes when she would look at him. She would touch his face or brush his curls from his eyes and he would smile at her, but still he never spoke.

The breakfast table was noisy and boisterous between my boys, squealing Angela, random declarations from Consuela of how everyone was too thin and needed to eat more and chatty Molly. Jane seemed to be in a particularly good mood and spent the meal teasing me, talking with Molly or trading barbs with Consuela. Maura didn't talk much. She seemed to have something on her mind and she refused to let go of her son. Tommy ate his eggs and bacon in her lap only after Maura pleaded with him to eat. I was sitting on Maura's other side and sometimes I could hear what she was saying to him. No one else seemed to notice anything was off except Consuela who kept casting sideways glances at Maura and Tommy. Jane seemed to be determined to keep the conversation light and pleasant. I was wondering if she was trying to cover up for something else, something that had to do with the boy. I wouldn't have paid it a whole lot of attention except for the very stern, chilly glances Maura kept giving me from time to time. I wouldn't have paid those any attention either, I was used to Maura's cold ways, but for some reason this was different. She would hardly talk to me though she was pleasant with everyone else. When I tried to engage her in conversation her responses were limited and always followed a particularly unpleasant expression. After about the fifth time of this happening I just gave up. I didn't know what was wrong with her and I didn't want her to explode on me in front of my wife and children. The sounds of her endeavors with Jane last night and this morning were quickly fading from my mind and being replaced with memories of instances when I had done something to displease her. I felt my insides writhing by the time breakfast came to a close.

"Well we should be going home now," I said as I drained my last bit of coffee. "Jane and Maura you have a beautiful home and you are wonderful hostesses. It's been a pleasure staying with you but I'll leave you and your house in peace now." I said rising from the table but Maura grabbed my arm and pulled me back down into my seat with a strength I didn't know she had.

I sat down heavily. I looked at her wide eyed and incredulous.

"You're not going _**anywhere**_," Maura said.

Her face wore a smile, but it was the smile of an assassin before the bullet entered a victim's skull. Her voice was sweet, almost melodious, but I heard the malice and the threat. The whole room went silent for a moment. Jane's eyes went wide and she reached over and put her hand on Maura's arm gently.

"Sweetheart, not now ok. It's ok look at me," Jane whispered to Maura.

Maura hadn't stopped staring at me in that way that made my blood run cold but when she heard Jane's voice she closed her eyes and sighed heavily. When she opened them she looked down at Tommy in her lap and seemed ashamed for a moment. Jane moved to fill in the silence.

"Molly we were hoping that you and Consuela could take the children to the fair in town. Gerald Ingles and Author Bennington will go with you to help you with the kids. You remember them from Boston I'm sure. Maura and I need James; we have business to discuss with him." Jane said smiling at Molly and moved to brush her hair behind her ear. That's when Molly screamed.

"OH MY GOD!" Molly screamed so loudly it startled the children. "You're wearing it...you said yes...OH MY GOOOOOODDDD!"

Molly bounced from her seat and ran over to Jane grabbing her left hand and holding it up for everyone to see.

"AHHHH you're getting MARRIED! AHHHHH!" Molly screeched.

Jane looked like she didn't know what to say. She was looking at Molly like she was crazy, but still I saw the blush creep into her face and the smile she boasted. I felt my jaw drop as I looked at Jane's hand that Molly was waving around none to gently. I was halfway across the table but I could see the diamonds as clear as day. Molly was right, they _were_ huge.

"Oh Dios Mio!" Consuela gasped.

She dropped her serving dish of eggs on the floor in shock much to Franklin Thomas' delight.

"El GRANDE!" Consuela said snatching Jane's hand from Molly's grip. "EL GRANDE!"

"OH my gosh. Oh my gosh. When did you do it Maura...how did you do it? Oh my gosh, you guys are getting married. It's so sweet." Molly looked between Jane and Maura and tears welled up in her eyes.

Maura blushed hard but she smiled up at Molly proudly.

"Jane asked me first," She said holding up her own ring finger to show Molly.

Molly's jaw dropped all the way to the floor. This time there were tears running down her cheeks. Molly took Maura's hand and ran her thumb over the ring.

"It's so _pretty_ Maura. Oh my God you two are so beautiful together." Molly said bursting into tears and wrapping Jane in a tight hug.

Consuela bumped Molly out of her way with her hip.

"You move...I see ring now," Consuela said snatching up Maura's hand and gasping again.

"It _very_ pretty," Consuela said like she was shocked then she narrowed her eyes at Jane.

"You pick ring by yourself?" Consuela asked like she couldn't believe it.

"Yes Consuela I picked it myself and bought it with my own money," Jane frowned at her.

"I not know you have good taste," Consuela cackled at Jane before turning to study Maura's ring again.

"I picked Maura, so I must have excellent taste," Jane spat back at her.

Maura just smiled and leaned in to kiss Jane. It was a long lingering kiss. I rolled my eyes and shook my head. I prayed they didn't go back upstairs to continue on in their little celebration fuck festival.

"I _love_ the ring," Maura cooed at Jane who bristled with pride.

"I love _you_," Jane whispered before kissing Maura again.

This time I thought they might not make it upstairs at all before the 'noise' started again.

"I'm happy for you guys," I said a little more loudly than necessary but I needed them to stop all the smooching before it got out of hand.

Jane broke the kiss and winked at me before Molly started running around the room bellowing over the color of dresses, venues, cakes, designers, and wedding planners and on and on. Maura had the grace to smile at my wife's excitement.

"We shall deal with all that in due time Molly. But first Jane and I need to talk to James and I need you to take the kids to the fair." Maura said.

"Oh of course... Of course..." Molly said grabbing the boys and shooing them up the stairs.

Consuela took Angela and sang to her all the way out to the kitchen. I don't think I'd ever seen Consuela look so happy.

"What about Tommy, isn't he going?" I asked as I looked at him still curled in Maura's lap.

Maura looked down at him and brushed his cheek with her thumb.

"Do you want to go to the fair sweet boy?" She asked him softly.

He just looked up at her curiously.

"They have a Batman rollercoaster." Jane piped in.

"Batman?" Tommy said sitting up.

"Yup, and you can ride it as many times as you like if you go." Jane said smiling at her son.

"I love Batman," Tommy said hopping out of Maura's lap and running upstairs.

Jane followed him and I was left sitting alone with Maura. I looked at her smiling preparing to congratulate her on her engagement when I realized very quickly the ice and stone was back in her face. I felt my own face fall and my words caught in my throat. Maura sat back in her chair and crossed her legs. She was dressed in tight white pants, a loose red and white polka dotted blouse, and tall red heels and they were blood red...like her eyes. She studied me, her gaze piercing and deep. She tapped her fingers on the kitchen table as she looked at me. I felt my mouth dry out. What the fuck was wrong with her?

"Ummm, I'm happy for you and Jane." I said finally when I couldn't take the eerie silence anymore.

Maura cocked her head to the side but the ice did not break from her expression.

"Thank you. Now let's talk about why you didn't tell me about the abuse of my son." She said.

She pulled some pictures from her back pocket and threw them on the table in front of me. I was confused by what she meant but I felt my stomach drop down to my feet. I immediately felt myself begin to perspire.

"Please don't let it be true," I prayed in my mind.

I knew if it _was_ true I was in a great deal of danger. I knew Tommy's foster farm wasn't Disney World and he was awful thin, but I'd never seen any direct evidence of any abuse that would cause Maura to be as angry as she was. Had I missed something? I gathered the pictures and almost fell out of my chair when I saw them. They were pictures of Tommy...and they were horrible. There were at least a dozen and a half pictures of his body. His back was awful to look upon, it was black and blue. He was so thin I could count every one of his ribs. His eyes in the pictures looked so sad, haunted, and hollow. I felt bile rise in my throat. I felt my palms begin to sweat. I felt my hands trembling more and more as I flipped through each one of the pictures over and over again. I must have flipped through the pictures a dozen times. They made me feel sick and disgusted but I just couldn't stop going through them. Each time I grew more and more angry. _How_ could I have missed this? How did I not _see_ this? How could I not have noticed someone was hurting this boy this badly? I knew he was thin, I knew he was unusual...but _this_? I kept seeing the faces of my own sons in the pictures, their bodies beaten and bruised. Tears burned my eyes and I felt my jaw tighten in my head. If anyone _ever_ touched my sons this way I would _kill_ them.

I stared at the picture of Tommy's back, the photo shook in my hands. I felt my fist tighten around the picture crumpling it up into a ball. My grip on the picture was so tight I could have turned it to dust. I slammed my fist with the picture in it on the table so hard all the dishes rattled and shook. My chest was heaving and the muscles in my face were working to control the storm of anger I wanted to release. I looked straight at Maura. Her expression was a reflection of my own. Pure rage and determination. We looked at each other that way for a long time. She did not scream, she did not yell, she did not rage at me like she usually did when she was angry. I knew she was furious, perhaps more so than she had ever been, but she was not the same unbalanced Maura anymore. She was completely in control of herself and would do exactly what needed to be done without the show of rage. In the past her vehemence had been frightening to witness, but this Maura, this calm, collected, fire-eyed Maura was even more frightening than I'd ever seen her. I knew what she wanted, I knew she would not tolerate failure, I understood it in the level icy gaze of her blazing eyes. Finally she spoke. Her voice was little more than a whisper, but it thundered in my head.

"Did you know?" She asked, never breaking her gaze.

My eyes seemed locked to hers like magnets. I felt my eyes grow wide in my head.

"NO! Of course I didn't fucking _know_." I exclaimed.

I wanted to insist on my innocence more but something in Maura's eyes made me realize I was better off remaining silent. I did not dare push her over the edge. Maura leaned forward so our faces were almost touching. The vibes rolling off her were choking me with their poison. I started to lean back to get a breath of fresh air that wasn't filled with Maura's anger but she grabbed the back of my head and yanked me forward. I fell to my knees in front of her. I felt myself filling with fear. I was always a little intimidated by Maura, but this time I was downright horrified. If she did not believe that I didn't know about her son's abuse, I knew full well what she would do to me. Maura could ruin me, destroy my business, have me disbarred, and see to it that my family ate garbage out of the trash cans of the streets of New York if she saw fit to make it so.

"The beatings have been going on for a long time, James. The newest bruises aren't more than two days old...**two days**." Maura hissed. The color of her pupils was growing deeper and darker with every word she spoke and her grip on my hair tightened mercilessly. "How could you have missed this? HOW COULD YOU **FAIL** ME!" Maura screamed right in my face. I felt like I had been blasted with a fire hot wave of pure malice.

"Please Maura, I didn't know. If I knew I would have _told_ you, I would have _saved_ him...I swear it, I _swear_ it Maura you know that...I _know_ you know that." I begged her.

My voice was shaking. I felt sweat rolling down my face and a lump form in my throat. I was just as scared for me as I was for whoever had hurt Tommy. There was nothing Maura wouldn't do for her son, or for Jane..._nothing_ and I knew that. I prayed the years of friendship Maura and I had shared together would spare me from her vengeance. Maura was silent as she stared down at me. Her face was stone and her eyes dark and dangerous but I could tell she was considering whether or not to tear me to pieces. She never loosened her steel grip on my hair and my neck hurt like crazy but I dared not complain. I closed my eyes and waited for the final lightening strike. I felt Maura nuzzle her lips in my ear. Her breath was hot; her words were soft but filled with the weight of her conviction.

"I want full custody of my son today James..._today_. I want to know who hurt him and I want them behind bars today James..._today_. I want that foster farm shut down and all the children reallocated to appropriate caring homes where they will be fed and taken care of today James..._today_." Maura whispered in my ear.

Her grip tighten so hard I thought she might pull my hair right out of my scalp. I tried not to whimper in pain.

"It's Sunday Maura..." I started until Maura snapped my head back so violently I did cry out in pain.

I looked up at her with desperate eyes. If I didn't know better I'd say she seemed calm despite the fact that her face was an iron mask. But her grip on my hair let me know just how fucking serious she was. I quickly shut my mouth of all excuses. She didn't want to hear them and I knew if I wanted to keep my full head of hair I better not keep throwing them at her.

"I promised my bride, the _mother_ of my son, that I would handle this. I will not be happy if I'm made to be a liar, you don't want to make me unhappy do you James?" Maura asked me with the sweetness of a poisonous snake.

"No..._**No**_," I stuttered.

"Good. When Jane comes back you are going to assure her you can make this happen and you will won't you...or I might remember it was you who let this go on for so long after assuring me the boy was fine...my **son** James." Maura said through clenched teeth.

I saw something flash behind her eyes that looked like pure malevolence. I gulped.

"Yes ma'am." Was all I said.


End file.
